Speaker 1: Guys, guess who's back. Welcome to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: on Cut. Spoiler it's us.
Speaker 2: We're back.
Speaker 3: We had a week off, guys, and we are so sorry,
Speaker 3: but we had a little mini vacate.
Speaker 1: We actually did try to.
Speaker 2: Record for you.
Speaker 3: We took our equipment up. It was a really big mission.
Speaker 3: We failed miserably. It went to hell in a hand basket.
Speaker 2: But we are back.
Speaker 4: We are rejuvenating.
Speaker 1: On hell in a hand's not even a saying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when something goes terribly it goes to hell in
Speaker 4: a hand basket, not.
Speaker 1: Once in my thirty I don't want to say how you.
Speaker 4: Were on The Bachelor with Nick Cummens, who had the
Speaker 4: most outrageous one liners, and you're going to pull me
Speaker 4: up on going to hell in a hand basket.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he was just like slide out like a
Speaker 2: lizard drinking in the.
Speaker 3: Same thing about her and a handbasket. Also, if that's
Speaker 3: completely incorrect, do not dm me.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know about it.
Speaker 1: I'm going to keep on saying it don't add us.
Speaker 2: So yeah, like.
Speaker 4: Brit said, we did bring the equipment up to Byron.
Speaker 4: We had great intentions. It went terribly, terribly wrong. So instead,
Speaker 4: we are well rested and here to bring you the
Speaker 4: best content that your ears have Heather listened to.
Speaker 3: You know what the worst part of that was, actually
Speaker 3: we still put in the effort and the hours, so
Speaker 3: we still did all the research. We still sat down
Speaker 3: for half a day and recorded and did everything so
Speaker 3: for nothing. So we wasted this our precious, precious, precious
Speaker 3: holiday time trying to and I mean we just have
Speaker 3: to accept defeat.
Speaker 1: Sometimes sometimes things just don't work.
Speaker 4: We did also have someone who we were interviewing and
Speaker 4: I maybe didn't press record.
Speaker 3: Look, it's thin Ice, Laura. It's a touchy subject and
Speaker 3: it's too soon, so.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about that.
Speaker 3: It's the first time it's ever happened. But it happened, guys,
Speaker 3: with lac Efron. She didn't hit record, and Brittany's chances gone.
Speaker 3: He's now dating enormy.
Speaker 1: You realize you were the reason. And I'm not dating
Speaker 1: zach Efron.
Speaker 4: You can blame me for all your problems in life.
Speaker 4: But anyway, guys, it's nice to be back. Thank you
Speaker 4: to everybody who understood. Also, you know, we this isn't
Speaker 4: our full time job. This is like a really like
Speaker 4: fun extra thing that we do that we love doing
Speaker 4: for you guys, and we get so much out of it,
Speaker 4: but we do put.
Speaker 1: The time in like it's a full time job, but
Speaker 1: it's not our main job totally.
Speaker 4: And so you know, there are definitely weeks and from
Speaker 4: time to time when we find it really difficult to
Speaker 4: bring you the consistency of content that you guys are
Speaker 4: used to, But we obviously put all our time and
Speaker 4: energy into trying to bring you two episodes a week,
Speaker 4: and we just want to reassure you that.
Speaker 3: We are back, baby, and what on that hate when
Speaker 3: you sing so much?
Speaker 2: Sing it?
Speaker 1: Well, on that note, I guess now we can say it.
Speaker 3: We have actually looked back over the year and almost
Speaker 3: year and a half we've been doing this, and we
Speaker 3: were like, how many episodes have we actually missed.
Speaker 1: Or not given on time? And there aren't actually many.
Speaker 3: There's been a few in the last month or two
Speaker 3: that might have been a little bit late, as in
Speaker 3: a couple of hours.
Speaker 1: And we can now tell you that that is because.
Speaker 3: Laura has been insanely unwell with her second baby.
Speaker 4: I'm having a baby.
Speaker 1: I mean, woo, it's so weird.
Speaker 4: Don't get too excited Laura, No, I'm really really excited.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's obviously been something that's been happening
Speaker 4: for a while now. There is a little part of
Speaker 4: me that feels bad that I've kept it from you guys,
Speaker 4: and like exactly what Britt said, I was really sick
Speaker 4: with morning sickness for the first trimester. But yeah, I've
Speaker 4: seen the light, the light at the end of the
Speaker 4: tunnel of the second trimester. Times are good. Well, we
Speaker 4: will get into some questions.
Speaker 3: I have some questions for you, but I just want
Speaker 3: to say, like just so you guys can understand, and
Speaker 3: it's been hard because we haven't been able to tell you.
Speaker 3: There were some times some days where we were recording,
Speaker 3: and this is why some of them didn't get you
Speaker 3: on time. Some days would be recording and Laura's looking
Speaker 3: at me and I was like, oh shit, you don't
Speaker 3: look well, and she'd be like she'd start with her
Speaker 3: mouth and I was like, oh my god, you've got
Speaker 3: to vomit, and she'd literally have to run to the bathroom.
Speaker 3: And there were just times she was physically like unable
Speaker 3: to sit here and hold a conversation for an hour
Speaker 3: and a half and I was like, babe, it's okay, Like,
Speaker 3: if you can't do it, we can't get the episode out.
Speaker 3: There was this one day that we were recording and
Speaker 3: I had such bad intergestion. I just kept spuburbing into
Speaker 3: the microphone and then I had to spend like four
Speaker 3: hours trying to edit out every single time I stopped
Speaker 3: started because I couldn't breathe properly.
Speaker 2: So these are the things that we've been going through.
Speaker 1: It was ridiculous. But anyway, Laura, congratulations.
Speaker 3: I know obviously I've known for a long time, but
Speaker 3: it's really exciting news.
Speaker 1: How do you feel that you can actually now share it,
Speaker 1: get this weight off your shoulders?
Speaker 4: Well at first day, I just want to say thanks
Speaker 4: to everybody from our community as well who's been so
Speaker 4: incredibly supportive, especially because, like I mean, if you've been
Speaker 4: listening to Life on Cut from the beginning, then you
Speaker 4: know I've been really open with our pregnancy journey and
Speaker 4: that Matt and I have had a couple of miscarriages now,
Speaker 4: and so that was one of the biggest reasons why
Speaker 4: I wasn't really comfortable with sharing it, and I kind
Speaker 4: of was just not that I was in denial, like
Speaker 4: I definitely was like, I'm pregnant, but I was kind
Speaker 4: of in denial that maybe this baby was going to
Speaker 4: stick around for a little while, so I didn't want
Speaker 4: to make it public and then I have to go
Speaker 4: through another public conversation about miscarriage. So firstly, before I
Speaker 4: get too excited and two ahead of myself, I just
Speaker 4: want to recognize that I know that if there's anybody
Speaker 4: listening to this episode who's currently going through a really
Speaker 4: difficult fertility journey, it can be a real slap in
Speaker 4: the face to hear another happy pregnancy announcement, and I
Speaker 4: just want to say, like, I really recognize that, and
Speaker 4: I know what that feels like, and so I really
Speaker 4: feel I really hope that you get your rainbow baby,
Speaker 4: Like I genuinely mean that in regards to like Matt
Speaker 4: and I. I guess we're like fully halfway now. But
Speaker 4: it's really different with your second baby, because, like with Marley,
Speaker 4: I was so in tune with the pregnancy. I was like,
Speaker 4: oh today, my baby's a blueberry. Now my baby's the
Speaker 4: size of an orange, it's growing eyelids.
Speaker 1: Now you forget your pregnant.
Speaker 4: Honestly, I like, get to two o'clock in the afternoon,
Speaker 4: I'm like, God, I've got that indigestion. Oh, that's the
Speaker 4: foot in my lung.
Speaker 2: There we are.
Speaker 4: Anyway, I'm at the point in the pregnancy now where
Speaker 4: I'm not talking about the glowy, gorgeous wonderfulness of pregnancy.
Speaker 4: I'm talking about how like your vagina starts getting fat
Speaker 4: and your nipples go black, and why is there a
Speaker 4: beard growing on my stomach?
Speaker 1: Hang on, winder back. Your vagina gets.
Speaker 2: Fat, Your vagina gets.
Speaker 1: So fat, what do you mean like chubb like chubby.
Speaker 4: It looks like well, mine doesn't look like it yet,
Speaker 4: but like low and behold at nine months, some people
Speaker 4: get a really swollen vagina. It bluid like a chicken breast.
Speaker 4: Just think of a really juicy chicken breast.
Speaker 2: And that is.
Speaker 3: Let's move along to the hairy beard on your tummy,
Speaker 3: which at the nine month mark when I had Marley,
Speaker 3: I was shaving your stomach or the floppyga.
Speaker 2: All of you above my stomach.
Speaker 4: I really hope that there's other like pregnant women out
Speaker 4: there are people who have kids who listen to this
Speaker 4: and relate like pregnancy just does the weirdest shit to
Speaker 4: your body.
Speaker 2: It's not normal.
Speaker 4: It's well, it is normal, we just don't talk about it,
Speaker 4: from like growing excess hair, to losing your hair, to
Speaker 4: getting a fat vagina, to your nipples going black, or
Speaker 4: to your nipples getting really long, like all this weird
Speaker 4: stuff happens and nobody talks about it.
Speaker 1: We'll see.
Speaker 3: The thing is, I didn't know any of that. I
Speaker 3: don't know what you just said. I just thought you
Speaker 3: had a harry stomach. I was gonna say, in a
Speaker 3: fat vagina, but like that's awkward. Oh you see me
Speaker 3: in a bikini. So no. But but for real, it's
Speaker 3: actually nice to hear someone talk about the things that
Speaker 3: no one does talk about, because I'm sure there's a
Speaker 3: lot of women out there like me right now being
Speaker 3: like what.
Speaker 1: Vagina puts on way.
Speaker 4: But I guess the thing as well is is like
Speaker 4: it's one of the reasons well, I mean, this is
Speaker 4: my assumption, but I think it's one of the reasons
Speaker 4: why we struggle so much with the changes that our
Speaker 4: body goes through when we're pregnant. And that's because like
Speaker 4: there's only very limited aspects of that that we talk about.
Speaker 4: We don't really talk about varicus veins. We don't really
Speaker 4: talk about like fluid retention. And I think that there's
Speaker 4: like this lack of preparation for just how weird shit
Speaker 4: gets with your body, and like a lot of it
Speaker 4: goes back to normal, A lot of it kind of
Speaker 4: there is this once the baby comes out, it kind
Speaker 4: of like slowly gradually goes back to a new a
Speaker 4: new normal, not the same but very similar.
Speaker 1: Not a streamline.
Speaker 4: Let's say, I'm no twenty year old, but yeah, I
Speaker 4: think it's really important for women to talk about these
Speaker 4: things and be open about it so that when you
Speaker 4: are pregnant and shit starts going really weird, you're like, hey,
Speaker 4: that's okay.
Speaker 2: That go from The Bachelor had a fat vagina too.
Speaker 1: I feel less alone.
Speaker 2: No, but absolutely, I just aren't wait for Daily Mail
Speaker 2: to write an article about this.
Speaker 3: I just so you guys know and heads up to you, Laura.
Speaker 3: I will be asking a lot of questions over the
Speaker 3: next couple of months and keeping you guys informed as
Speaker 3: to the progress of Laura's vagina, Laura's hair situation. But
Speaker 3: how let's tell everyone how far actually are you right now?
Speaker 3: So I'm twenty one weeks all right, let's do the
Speaker 3: math is that five months. Yeah, it's like, well, I guess,
Speaker 3: I don't know. Twenty one weeks is like five months.
Speaker 3: I'm just over halfway. Yeah, okay, so congratulations on keeping
Speaker 3: that a secret. God knows how you have done that.
Speaker 3: I feel like watching your progress, I don't feel like
Speaker 3: you popped until.
Speaker 1: Like really recently.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 4: Also, it's been pretty easy to keep it under wraps.
Speaker 4: I mean, one, it was isolation, so like no one
Speaker 4: was really leaving the house. Who it was winter, so
Speaker 4: I was wearing like big baggy clothes, and like three,
Speaker 4: no one.
Speaker 2: Really cares about me anymore. So it's also it's really easy.
Speaker 1: No they did.
Speaker 3: There were some moments that Laura and I we might
Speaker 3: have taken a cute photo or something. She's like, you
Speaker 3: can't post that preggers. So we were trying to filter
Speaker 3: some stuff out.
Speaker 4: And there were actually some people, some people from this
Speaker 4: community and also people who follow me on Instagram who
Speaker 4: had started to tweak to it. So I was starting
Speaker 4: to get a lot of messages from people saying, hey,
Speaker 4: I have a feeling that you're pregnant, which is a
Speaker 4: kind of a weird thing to text someone, but they
Speaker 4: were correct.
Speaker 3: So yeah, to everybody who tweeked to it. Congratulations, you
Speaker 3: win the Lucky Door prize. You in all right, let's
Speaker 3: just wind it back to the start, because I think
Speaker 3: the most important thing, and I think it really shows
Speaker 3: like who's the most important person in your life and
Speaker 3: who you love the most and who's the best Who.
Speaker 1: Did you tell first?
Speaker 4: Okay, so Britt says this because I told Brit, So
Speaker 4: the very first person I told was Brit. Also, like
Speaker 4: when I was pregnant last time, Brit was the very
Speaker 4: first person I told. And then Britt was also the
Speaker 4: very first person I told that I was having a miscarriage. So,
Speaker 4: like you seem to be really like my point of contact,
Speaker 4: my touch point for these things. Love that I told
Speaker 4: Britt first, And like I said, I was in a
Speaker 4: bit of denial because this pregnancy happened very very quickly
Speaker 4: after the miscarriage that I had, which I spoke about
Speaker 4: in one of that episodes if you want to go
Speaker 4: back and listen to it. This happened really really soon after,
Speaker 4: and much to Matt's disappointment, he thought he was going
Speaker 4: to get a little bit more sexy time out of me,
Speaker 4: but he did not. The man is very potent. I
Speaker 4: kept it to myself for a really long time. I
Speaker 4: didn't tell anyone apart from Britt. I didn't tell Matt
Speaker 4: for about three or four weeks until I was actually
Speaker 4: going to have my scan. So the day I was
Speaker 4: going for my scan is the day that I told Matt.
Speaker 4: And I don't I kind of feel bad for doing that,
Speaker 4: and I Matt wasn't annoyed or anything. He understood. But
Speaker 4: my reasoning for not wanting to tell him was because
Speaker 4: if I had gone through another miscarriage, I didn't want
Speaker 4: to have to disappoint him again. I wanted it to
Speaker 4: be like, a, Hey, I'm going from a scan. I'm
Speaker 4: gonna find out today if the baby has a heartbeat
Speaker 4: and if everything's okay. So you're gonna know by this
Speaker 4: afternoon if everything's okay. So I kind of pushed it
Speaker 4: as far out as possible because I just didn't want
Speaker 4: to go through that again. It's been stressful as much
Speaker 4: as if there's been parts of it I've enjoyed. There's
Speaker 4: been parts of this pregnancy so far. That's it's really
Speaker 4: hard to enjoy a pregnancy after having pregnancy loss.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I can.
Speaker 3: I can one hundred percent see both sides of that.
Speaker 3: I can see why Matt would have been.
Speaker 1: Like, Babe, like, why didn't you tell me straight away?
Speaker 3: But I can see why you after having two miscarriages
Speaker 3: and you'd literally just miscarried recently, I can see why
Speaker 3: you were like, I can't just disappoint him again, and
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure this feeling of like
Speaker 3: making sure it's safe, and I mean, you sort of
Speaker 3: have to tell me.
Speaker 1: I guess we spend so much time together and it's.
Speaker 4: And also like Matt kind of knew because for us,
Speaker 4: like the most challenging parts in our relationship that we've
Speaker 4: ever had has been during my first trimester of pregnancy,
Speaker 4: because I turn into a psychopathic, crazy.
Speaker 2: Hormonal witch.
Speaker 3: I can confirm that, like angry about everything, crying about
Speaker 3: things irrationally, like I just can't control. I have so
Speaker 3: little patience, And normally I would like to think that
Speaker 3: I'm a relatively chilled person, but during the first trimester,
Speaker 3: I just feel so angry and like frustrated and just
Speaker 3: so quick to temper. And Matt had said to me
Speaker 3: a few times, are.
Speaker 2: You sure you're not pregnant?
Speaker 4: Like usually when you're a bit angry, He's like, are
Speaker 4: you sure you don't have your periods? And now he's like, bitch,
Speaker 4: you're pregnant, Like there's something going on here.
Speaker 2: So he well and truly had sniffed it out.
Speaker 1: Moments where Matt was like, hey, babe, have you seen
Speaker 1: where I put my hat? And Laura was like, don't
Speaker 1: want to you.
Speaker 2: Just put it away where it blongs.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I know I'm close to this couple,
Speaker 3: but I cannot intervene here. It's like, Matt, your hat
Speaker 3: is hanging on the door. It was a lot, but anyway,
Speaker 3: as soon as you get past that. I don't know
Speaker 3: if other people experience it, but as soon as I
Speaker 3: got past that first trimester, like things kind of go
Speaker 3: back to normal and I'm not quite possessed demon, so
Speaker 3: everything's good. Now you're for sure emotional, and I think
Speaker 3: there was this time too that you and I were
Speaker 3: like our emotions were feeding off each other, like one
Speaker 3: of you would start to cry and I'd be like
Speaker 3: I'm upset too, Like I was almost like I was
Speaker 3: the sympathy pregnancy partner.
Speaker 4: But well, this was all happening during your Bachelor Paradise stuff,
Speaker 4: so it was obviously a really heightened period for you
Speaker 4: as well. And then I was having my own emotional
Speaker 4: stresses around this, and so yeah, we were just a
Speaker 4: bundle of hormones.
Speaker 2: Guys. I'm really glad we got through that together though.
Speaker 3: And big question, big question from the people, are you
Speaker 3: going to find out or have you found out? If
Speaker 3: I'm pregnant, if I'm allowed in the delivery suite, if
Speaker 3: what you're having.
Speaker 2: We don't know.
Speaker 4: We have no idea for having a boy or a girl.
Speaker 4: Mally was a surprise. I love surprises, and I think
Speaker 4: that having a surprise baby. I think that not knowing
Speaker 4: the gender of your baby is like one of the
Speaker 4: most beautiful surprises. So yeah, I don't know. But I
Speaker 4: had this really overwhelming feeling when I first found out
Speaker 4: I was pregnant that it's a boy, Like I have
Speaker 4: really strong boy vibes, which I never got any vibes
Speaker 4: with Maley. I was like, I hope that this is
Speaker 4: a human child, whereas this time I'm like, this is
Speaker 4: a this is a boy.
Speaker 1: I must yeah, I must admit. I think, you know
Speaker 1: how it just comes out.
Speaker 3: I think when we started talking about it, I had
Speaker 3: said I can't wait to meet him or whatever. I
Speaker 3: think I had dropped the he pronoun, so maybe subconsciously
Speaker 3: I think it's a boy too.
Speaker 4: They go, well, anyway, maybe that's enough baby chat, just
Speaker 4: to like, is it.
Speaker 1: I mean we're gonna talk about the next four months.
Speaker 2: We'll definitely not.
Speaker 4: I mean, I might talk about my long black nipples,
Speaker 4: but like that's my last week.
Speaker 3: I know, and I guess, yeah, I mean, we'll talk
Speaker 3: about it later, but I guess we'll have a couple
Speaker 3: of weeks break.
Speaker 4: Laura is in the birthday week podcasting. I'll just give
Speaker 4: you a minute by a minute update.
Speaker 2: Don't worry.
Speaker 4: Well, tell me what's been happening in your world?
Speaker 1: God, nothing as exciting as that. No, we went to
Speaker 1: Byron Bay. We had a great little week. It was.
Speaker 3: It was a funny week because we were still sort
Speaker 3: of working but were seming on BAK. But something really
Speaker 3: cute did happen. Actually, I was saying with my girlfriends
Speaker 3: and they have these two little girls that are like
Speaker 3: four and five, and they watched me on the Bachelor,
Speaker 3: and like they obviously at five years old, they didn't
Speaker 3: they don't understand it. But they're allowed to watch Arnie
Speaker 3: Brittany like dating on.
Speaker 4: You're this TV prince Sacy. You're like, wow, she's from
Speaker 4: the DV The Magical.
Speaker 3: And yeah, they just think I'm in the ants pants
Speaker 3: because TV is so big to a.
Speaker 1: Five year old.
Speaker 3: Anyway, they've obviously understand to some extent that I've been
Speaker 3: dumped twice, Like they get that I'm single.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we're at home.
Speaker 3: They're doing these little arts and crafts on the table
Speaker 3: together and they're like, greaty, we're making you a handbag
Speaker 3: because I was going out to dinner that night, and
Speaker 3: I was like, amazing, thank you, and they're like, you
Speaker 3: have to take it to dinner tonight and I was like,
Speaker 3: of course I will. They're coloring away, and then a
Speaker 3: couple of minutes later they put their head up they.
Speaker 1: Go, they go, how do you spell single?
Speaker 2: They're just making you a walking banner for you to
Speaker 2: take to dinner. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: In my heart just like skipped a beat, broke all
Speaker 3: these feelings at once. Anyway, I spelled it out to
Speaker 3: them across the room and the girls will like.
Speaker 2: It's spelled d Pete, depressing.
Speaker 1: No I was. I spelt it for them and then
Speaker 1: they didn't skip a beat. They didn't look up.
Speaker 3: But they were writing, they were coloring, and they were
Speaker 3: just saying to themselves, we just don't want Arnie Brittany
Speaker 3: to be alone. And my heart they're five and my
Speaker 3: heart just broke.
Speaker 4: Anyway, were you like the kids, you need to listen
Speaker 4: to our single in your thirties episode. It could be
Speaker 4: a really empowering time in your life. Okay, you don't
Speaker 4: need no man.
Speaker 1: Anyway. It gets worse.
Speaker 3: Then I had to take it to dinner. Then they
Speaker 3: coached me through how I should walk into the restaurant.
Speaker 3: So I had to carry the single bag and I
Speaker 3: had to walk in and they coached me on my walk.
Speaker 3: I had to walk like a model for like ten
Speaker 3: meters and then when I hit the ten meter mark,
Speaker 3: I had to start to wave like the queen to
Speaker 3: people and gently say hello, Hi. That's what they said.
Speaker 3: So they're like, we think that this is what you
Speaker 3: need to do. This is five year old. Anyway, didn't work.
Speaker 2: Did you do it though?
Speaker 3: Did you take the single bag and did you promote
Speaker 3: your single them? Okay, I took this single bag because
Speaker 3: they watched me walk out of the house, so like
Speaker 3: take you back, yea, because I was like taking it anyway,
Speaker 3: my bad.
Speaker 1: I left in the car.
Speaker 3: Then I get into the restaurant and I see this
Speaker 3: really attractive guy. He's with his friend and I'm with
Speaker 3: my two friends. And we were like making eyes at
Speaker 3: each other across the table the whole night, and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, surely, like I feel like I am giving them
Speaker 1: his big signals.
Speaker 3: You can do that with your eyes. I felt like
Speaker 3: he was giving me them back. And I thought, surely
Speaker 3: by the end of the night, he's gonna come over
Speaker 3: and say something or whatever.
Speaker 1: Anyway, well like.
Speaker 4: If only I had a sign like a billboard looks
Speaker 4: like my bumble billboard and my single bag. No, I
Speaker 4: thought he didn't come over at the end, and I
Speaker 4: was like, you know what, if I took this single
Speaker 4: bag out, I could have waved it acroround the restaurant
Speaker 4: and maybe something would have happened.
Speaker 1: So that's my fault, really, for not taking my new
Speaker 1: handbag out.
Speaker 4: Or maybe he had a girlfriend and that's why he
Speaker 4: didn't approach you, because no matter if you had a
Speaker 4: single bag or not, he was looking from a far
Speaker 4: and appreciating but could not touch.
Speaker 3: Or maybe it's just this thing that assist that our
Speaker 3: generation does, where we don't approach anyone in real life
Speaker 3: thanks to.
Speaker 4: The world of online dating.
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyway, I just thought that was a really cute story,
Speaker 3: and I love that I have five year olds even
Speaker 3: on my bandwagon to find me love bless their souls.
Speaker 4: Well, I feel like with that sort of cheerleader behind you, like,
Speaker 4: it's really a matter of time.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was like, put a sign out
Speaker 3: at school girls, maybe someone's dad.
Speaker 2: But should we tell the people what the episode's going
Speaker 2: to be about.
Speaker 4: Oh you don't we get into accidentally unfiltereds Yeah, you
Speaker 4: do it because I just spoke for ag Okay, fucking lazy,
Speaker 4: all right, So okay, we have thought a lot about
Speaker 4: this episode, and we have been having this conversation for
Speaker 4: the last couple of weeks. It was really spurred on
Speaker 4: by what has been happening on The Bachelor and the
Speaker 4: whole Irena Bella cat Fights saga, the media dramatization of
Speaker 4: the whole thing, and also like a lot of the
Speaker 4: conversations that have been happening back and forth on the
Speaker 4: Facebook group in regards to it as well. But we
Speaker 4: wanted to talk about mean girls and the psychology of
Speaker 4: mean girls, like not just from a top level of like,
Speaker 4: you know, we all know the girls can be nasty
Speaker 4: to each other, but really from like a deeper understanding
Speaker 4: of where it comes from, why we do it, and
Speaker 4: is it something that you know only other people do
Speaker 4: or is it something that we ourselves are also guilty
Speaker 4: of on different varying levels. So we're really gonna unpack
Speaker 4: this whole understanding being girls psychology. Yeah, I do feel
Speaker 4: like I've been seeing it everywhere lately, so I'm happy
Speaker 4: to delve into that. And there's some really interesting research,
Speaker 4: so we will get into that.
Speaker 1: Before we do, you.
Speaker 3: Know where it's time for It's accidentally Unfiltered.
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to sing that with you.
Speaker 4: I really wish I had a singing career. Maybe in
Speaker 4: a formal life I did. Accidentally Unfiltered. Guys, we love
Speaker 4: this section. You tell us your most embarrassing stories. We
Speaker 4: read them out and we froth them. So let's get
Speaker 4: into it and we laugh at you, all right. Story
Speaker 4: number one.
Speaker 3: This one's so funny. I was at work and I'm
Speaker 3: training really really hard to get put on full time
Speaker 3: so that I'm putting in some extra effort to be
Speaker 3: the best possible worker.
Speaker 1: I can possibly be.
Speaker 3: I've only been part time for a while now, and
Speaker 3: I really want this job. It was fifteen minutes before
Speaker 3: my shift ended and it was just me and the
Speaker 3: boss in our tiny little office. I was quickly texting
Speaker 3: my boyfriend what time I was going to be home.
Speaker 3: He responds by telling me to get home asap because
Speaker 3: he is down for some sex. Hell, yeah, it's been ages.
Speaker 3: As I was leaving, my boss was talking to me
Speaker 3: and texted me this big, long list on what he
Speaker 3: needed to be done for the next week so that
Speaker 3: we can be prepared for it. As I'm walking to
Speaker 3: my car, I am so excited to be hanging home
Speaker 3: to finally get laid and message my boyfriend in a
Speaker 3: frantic state. The message said, oh my god, Yes, baby,
Speaker 3: I've worked so damn hard this week and I'm so horny.
Speaker 3: I cannot wait. I cannot wait for you to fuck
Speaker 3: me hard. I was so excited and friendshiply hyping that
Speaker 3: I didn't look you I send the message to And yes,
Speaker 3: I sent that straight to my boss.
Speaker 1: Rip me dead? What is wrong with me? Anyway? I'm quitting, she.
Speaker 4: Boss, how would you even go to work the next
Speaker 4: day and be like, look, I have been putting in
Speaker 4: a lot of hard work lately, imagine, and I deserve that.
Speaker 1: I've worked really hard, so fuck me.
Speaker 3: He would have been like, oh my god, this is
Speaker 3: sexual harassment claim waiting to happen.
Speaker 2: Hey, Sarah, can you please report to HR in the morning. Open.
Speaker 3: Don't worry about doing that least, Like, let's just scrap
Speaker 3: some of those things off.
Speaker 1: You don't have to repay me for that. I fucking lowell,
Speaker 1: What a low would it be?
Speaker 2: Wow? Okay, I really like that one. I don't know
Speaker 2: minus is good, but I'm gonna give it a crack. Huh.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 4: I was at my parents' house and I was having
Speaker 4: some technical troubles with my laptop. So Dad told me
Speaker 4: to bring it over, give it to him, and I'll
Speaker 4: have a look. So we put my laptop on the
Speaker 4: kitchen counter and I opened up the Internet. As the
Speaker 4: problem that I was having was to do with Google Chrome.
Speaker 4: You know how like your top five most used sites
Speaker 4: come up on your home screen. Well, I had the
Speaker 4: Google Chrome homepage open for a good five minutes. My
Speaker 4: dad was feeling around with things, and then he said, oh,
Speaker 4: interesting selection of websites you have here. What is torn
Speaker 4: up just what a second time from porn site. The
Speaker 4: second most frequented site was pornhub. At least she's got
Speaker 4: a healthy appetite.
Speaker 2: Look, it's been isolation. That's all anyone's doing. I was
Speaker 2: curiously masturbating to themselves.
Speaker 1: Obviously.
Speaker 3: The dad's cool with it because he called it out,
Speaker 3: which I loved because he didn't make it awkward. He
Speaker 3: was like, I like what you do on their doll
Speaker 3: pornab literally is one big virus. Like that's what is
Speaker 3: known for sex and virus. You go there for a
Speaker 3: sex and virus, not an STD. Well I laptop STD yes.
Speaker 2: You just like. I love that.
Speaker 4: Now she's like, hey, dad, so my computer's been infected
Speaker 4: with some sort of sex spot.
Speaker 2: Can you please fix me?
Speaker 1: I would have rather paid a strange to do it
Speaker 1: than my dad.
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 4: I have one more, actually unfiltered, which actually comes from
Speaker 4: a girlfriend.
Speaker 1: That you're putting your hand up to me, like I was.
Speaker 4: Talking to my girlfriend recently and I and I do
Speaker 4: this to all my friends now. Whenever I have seen
Speaker 4: someone who I haven't seen in a little while, I'm like, hey,
Speaker 4: I know you listen to the podcast. Give me your
Speaker 4: most embarrassing stories, and nobody tells me they're embarrassing stories anymore.
Speaker 4: But a girlfriend of mine, my girlfriend was telling telling
Speaker 4: me about how she wanted to start using something more
Speaker 4: environmentally friendly than using like tampons or pads or whatever.
Speaker 4: And she'd bought a moon cup online. And I'm yet
Speaker 4: to use a moon cup, so this is get to either.
Speaker 1: But all my friends do.
Speaker 4: This is all very foreign to me. So she had
Speaker 4: bought a moon cup and she'd been using it. She
Speaker 4: looked at the instructions whatnot, and she was like, cool,
Speaker 4: we're good with this, and she wore it to work
Speaker 4: this day. So she works in an office. She wore
Speaker 4: I love you say, like it's an outfit.
Speaker 1: She inserted it and used it at work.
Speaker 2: That she wore it to work.
Speaker 4: They have a unisex toilet at her office and she
Speaker 4: works with loads of guys because she works in construction. Anyway,
Speaker 4: she went into the office and it was on site,
Speaker 4: so that's why it's a communal toilet, because it's like,
Speaker 4: you know, a kind of a makeshift work side toilet.
Speaker 4: She went in and she went to change her moon
Speaker 4: cup and.
Speaker 5: She pulled it out with such aggressive fall that she
Speaker 5: flicked period blood, the whole moon cup of period blood
Speaker 5: all over the all over her pants, all over the wall,
Speaker 5: and all up the door.
Speaker 1: I'm actually I want to die for her. Hang on
Speaker 1: the walls I can deal with because you can.
Speaker 4: Wipe that off, like the door, like right in front,
Speaker 4: so she like flicked it in front and it just
Speaker 4: went everywhere.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is a prime example of why I do
Speaker 3: not want us a moon car.
Speaker 2: I just don't.
Speaker 4: I still don't understand the mechanics of how she did it.
Speaker 4: This is also a girlfriend of mine who needed to
Speaker 4: pee so bad that she peed herself whilst running down
Speaker 4: the stairs and then slipped in it and like did
Speaker 4: her elbow. So she's dropped some great not drunk, not
Speaker 4: drunk out of like you know, when dogs get really excited,
Speaker 4: they just like pee on the spot. She just has
Speaker 4: probably very very poor public floor muscles. Anyway, she has
Speaker 4: some crazy bodily function stories. I am here for them.
Speaker 4: Hang on, I need the end of the story.
Speaker 2: What did she do?
Speaker 5: How do you know?
Speaker 2: She was like I had to try and clean it up.
Speaker 4: She's like, but it just looked like shark week in there,
Speaker 4: and then I had to try and explain to everyone.
Speaker 1: So when you walk out and you're like, do not
Speaker 1: go in there.
Speaker 4: That's literally every time Matthew Johnson leaves the bathroom, he's like,
Speaker 4: we need to renovate the whole house buy a new bathroom.
Speaker 1: He cops it on this.
Speaker 4: He loves it though, So guys, for today's episode, we
Speaker 4: want to talk about mean girl behavior in adults because
Speaker 4: it's something that isn't just prevalent when we go through school.
Speaker 4: I think that everybody has experienced at some point in
Speaker 4: their adult life, whether it be exclusion from another female,
Speaker 4: or it be bullying at work in the workplace, or
Speaker 4: it be gossiping or rumors or some other very toxic
Speaker 4: way that women can interact with each other. And firstly,
Speaker 4: before we fully get into this episode, I just really
Speaker 4: want to say, like, bullying is non exclusive. We're not
Speaker 4: saying that women are bullies and men aren't. Men can
Speaker 4: be absolutely shit too, However, we do seem to express
Speaker 4: ourselves in very different ways. I think men are far
Speaker 4: more physical and they're far more verbal. When they are
Speaker 4: angry or aggressive about something or they take issue with something,
Speaker 4: they don't step away from confrontation in the same way
Speaker 4: that women do. Women can be far more fearful of confrontation,
Speaker 4: which means that we use and tend to use more
Speaker 4: nonverbal cues when we are aggressive or when we are
Speaker 4: angry about something.
Speaker 3: Men are more direct, more aggressive, more verbally aggressive, more
Speaker 3: physically aggressive, and their issues are resolved quicker because they
Speaker 3: just come out with it, deal with their behavior, and
Speaker 3: they move on. Women it's more subtle. It's very manipulative.
Speaker 3: It's like a slow burn. It's excluding people slowly from
Speaker 3: a group. It's the whispers, it's the rumors, it's the gossip,
Speaker 3: and that's because we generally don't like the direct confrontation.
Speaker 3: So from everything I've read that they've just said, this
Speaker 3: starts from a young age with boys and girls. You
Speaker 3: can see boys fighting it out and wrestling from like
Speaker 3: age five, and then you can see the girls sitting
Speaker 3: in their groups and turning their backs on another girl.
Speaker 3: And so I think it starts from a very young
Speaker 3: age and it's interesting to watch that progress through all
Speaker 3: the years to adulthood because it's still very prevalent in adulthood.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think, like you know, a perfect example
Speaker 4: of this, not to bring everything back to the Bachelor,
Speaker 4: but it's something that we've seen very recently is the
Speaker 4: physical bif that happened between in Matt and how their
Speaker 4: intensity and their argument resulted in actual fight, and then
Speaker 4: how we're seeing this slow simmering cattiness that's happening between
Speaker 4: Bella and Irena and the conversation and the way that
Speaker 4: they're being pitted against each other in the media, and
Speaker 4: also the manipulation that kind of happens and the exclusion
Speaker 4: I think is a really really big one. And this
Speaker 4: type of behavior is called relational aggression. So relational aggression
Speaker 4: is a predominantly female form of bullying. It's non physical
Speaker 4: aggression towards another person with the purpose of bringing down
Speaker 4: their reputation or their social status. One of the big
Speaker 4: reasons why we actually do this to other women is
Speaker 4: because by bringing somebody else down, in theory, it's a
Speaker 4: way of elevating ourselves. Whether that is done consciously or unconsciously,
Speaker 4: that seems to be the theory behind it. And like
Speaker 4: the competitive nature of how women fight and why we
Speaker 4: kind of look at somebody else and go, hmm, I
Speaker 4: don't like that person, but maybe don't have a good
Speaker 4: reason for why we don't like that person.
Speaker 2: When I was.
Speaker 3: Looking at this, taking a deep dive and just thinking
Speaker 3: back to how I was brought up and the issues
Speaker 3: that I faced growing up, and I couldn't get past
Speaker 3: the cult movie Mean Girls isn't that interesting. I don't
Speaker 3: think that there is anyone out there that wouldn't know
Speaker 3: what Mean Girls is. But essentially it's like to to teenagers,
Speaker 3: it's glorifying bullying and mean gol behavior because it's making
Speaker 3: it look like the popular cute, hot girls are really nasty.
Speaker 3: And the main quote that that I think that if
Speaker 3: anyone can quote anything from that movie, it's the line
Speaker 3: where she says, you can't sit with us, and I
Speaker 3: think that that is.
Speaker 1: A prime example of female bullying.
Speaker 3: It's like the exclusion, and that's that has gone out
Speaker 3: to every single woman in the last I guess fifteen years,
Speaker 3: I think. And I think that that's just really set
Speaker 3: the tone for teenagers coming through for the way women
Speaker 3: think it's okay to behave. And I just don't think
Speaker 3: you could ever make a movie.
Speaker 1: Like that now.
Speaker 4: I would like to think that that's left in school,
Speaker 4: you know, and that women we grow and we mature
Speaker 4: and we don't have those same behaviors. But the reality
Speaker 4: is is like, yes, in a lot of ways, we
Speaker 4: grow when we do mature. But when we were unpacking
Speaker 4: this conversation, I was like, oh, yes, people can be
Speaker 4: mean on social media. These people over here do this.
Speaker 4: But then when I actually started to really look at myself,
Speaker 4: my own language, the things that I say and do
Speaker 4: about other women, I realized, actually, this is something that
Speaker 4: I'm guilty of as well, maybe a much smaller scale,
Speaker 4: but it made me really question where it comes from.
Speaker 4: For example, I was I was with Matt and we
Speaker 4: were looking through Instagram, like a few weeks back when
Speaker 4: this conversation first started, and Matt saw a photo of
Speaker 4: like a girl that I follow and she's really beautiful.
Speaker 4: She's very young, she's like twenty two years old, stunning,
Speaker 4: and he was like, oh wow, she's really hot. And
Speaker 4: my instant reaction to him saying oh wow, she's really
Speaker 4: hot was yeah, but she's only twenty two, which at
Speaker 4: the time I didn't think anything negative of it, but
Speaker 4: Matt was kind of like, oh, okay, yep, Like he
Speaker 4: didn't make a big deal about it, but it made
Speaker 4: me feel a little bit like why did I say that?
Speaker 4: Why did I need to devalue her by instantly giving
Speaker 4: a caveat on why she's beautiful, and I realized that
Speaker 4: that actually played into my insecurities, being that I'm thirty four,
Speaker 4: I obviously don't look like I'm twenty two, and as
Speaker 4: a society, we really do prize beauty, we really do
Speaker 4: prize youth. It was me dealing with my own insecurities
Speaker 4: and projecting those insecurities on this other person, who is
Speaker 4: incredibly beautiful, full stop, has done absolutely nothing wrong. But
Speaker 4: there is this competition that we feel as women from
Speaker 4: time to time, whether that be on a surface level,
Speaker 4: as a physical level, whether it be in the workplace,
Speaker 4: because we're competing for different roles, pitted against each other
Speaker 4: in a way that means that there is this defensiveness
Speaker 4: that can sometimes come out in our language, in the
Speaker 4: way that we speak on a day to day level
Speaker 4: with our friends, with our partners about other women.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a defense mechanism, isn't it. It's just this.
Speaker 3: Idea that straight away you feel like you don't want
Speaker 3: to feel in your situation. You don't want to feel
Speaker 3: like your old news, and you don't want to You
Speaker 3: can never compare yourself to a twenty year old because
Speaker 3: you're not a twenty year old, You're a thirty three
Speaker 3: year old, and it comes from a place where you
Speaker 3: just don't I don't feel like you're enough, or you're
Speaker 3: worried that you're not gonna be enough. And I think
Speaker 3: that if every time that you make a comment like that,
Speaker 3: not you, I mean the general public, myself, everyone, every
Speaker 3: time you make a comment like that, you need to
Speaker 3: do what you do what you did and sit there
Speaker 3: and say, Okay, why did I why did I just
Speaker 3: say that? So I think it's the whole conversation is
Speaker 3: going to be brought back to really checking yourself and
Speaker 3: checking why you've made that statement. I pride myself and
Speaker 3: trying to be really a really good, supportive human and
Speaker 3: a supportive friend and not gossip about people. But I'd
Speaker 3: be lying if I said I haven't done that in
Speaker 3: the past one hundred percent. Whether that's a generic statement
Speaker 3: even about a celebrity like someone I don't even know,
Speaker 3: which this is really common as well, celebrities come out
Speaker 3: and do something or say something. I think the new
Speaker 3: song and film clip wap with us pussy, Well, the
Speaker 3: thing is when that first came out without even giving
Speaker 3: myself time to dissect it.
Speaker 1: Think about it, critique it.
Speaker 3: I was just like, WHOA, that is too much. Would
Speaker 3: not want my daughter listening to that, not want my
Speaker 3: daughter singing that, doing that, dancing that. And then I'm
Speaker 3: really sort of satting that for a second, and I thought, well,
Speaker 3: hang on, they're actually just really embracing their sexuality. They
Speaker 3: are singing lyrics and acting in a way that men
Speaker 3: have done, like male rappers have done for years. Like
Speaker 3: the way men talk about women has been derogatory, sexualized
Speaker 3: for as long as we can remember. But then the
Speaker 3: second women speak about themselves in that manner, we get
Speaker 3: our backs up and we get on this bandwagon of like,
Speaker 3: you can't act like that, when in fact, why not.
Speaker 1: We should be the ones that are allowed.
Speaker 3: To speak and express our sexuality like that, as opposed
Speaker 3: to letting men speak about us like that.
Speaker 4: Abby Chatford actually made a really interesting comparison with that song,
Speaker 4: and I really really agree with it. She I can't
Speaker 4: remember it word for words, so I don't want to
Speaker 4: miss quote or anything, but she did say, like, you know,
Speaker 4: you listen to the lyrics of wet Ass Pussy, and
Speaker 4: then you listen to the lyrics of like from the windows,
Speaker 4: to the walls, to the sweat dripping down my balls,
Speaker 4: or you bitches crawl. It's like, why do we sing that?
Speaker 4: And that's like such a fun and okay song, but
Speaker 4: yet there's something in us that feels like innately repulsed
Speaker 4: by a woman taking absolute control of her sexuality. And
Speaker 4: one of the things that we really started to look
Speaker 4: at when we unpack this is that there's two different
Speaker 4: reasons why this has kind of come about and how
Speaker 4: we've been socially conditioned to kind of fall into this.
Speaker 4: And it is a bit of a broad sweeping stereotype.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to say that all women behave like this.
Speaker 4: It's a spectrum. We all have different aspects of this,
Speaker 4: and nobody at all is completely perfect or has zero
Speaker 4: internalized sexism. But one of the theories behind why as
Speaker 4: women we feel really competitive around other women is because
Speaker 4: of evolution. So and this is like, this is a
Speaker 4: real theory, guys, Darwinism. We see other women as a threat,
Speaker 4: whether it be in a career workplace in modern society,
Speaker 4: or whether it be for relationships or to be able
Speaker 4: to like expand our brood. And also because we play
Speaker 4: so much importance in our society on beauty and also
Speaker 4: on youth, you know, and I look back at myself
Speaker 4: saying exactly that about someone who's a decade younger than
Speaker 4: myself and needing to use that as a justification for
Speaker 4: why it makes me feel makes me feel insecure about myself.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, with what you just said about it's evolutionary Darwinism,
Speaker 3: I just wanted to add something to that from if
Speaker 3: we're looking back to where this started, and there are
Speaker 3: studies on this, some psychologists say it's actually just hardwired.
Speaker 1: Into us from the beginning.
Speaker 3: And there are these studies of chimpanzees and apes that
Speaker 3: have shown that the female chimpanzees actually attack and kill
Speaker 3: other females and their babies. And this is literally to
Speaker 3: ensure that they get the best chance at survival and
Speaker 3: the best chance at living a great life.
Speaker 1: I know, but this is what it is.
Speaker 3: They're like, Okay, there's too much competition here, there's not
Speaker 3: enough room for all these females, so they kill them
Speaker 3: and their kids, their little baby chimps. Then they even
Speaker 3: sometimes ally themselves with other males so that no other
Speaker 3: woman woman, no other female. Now are the chimpanzee women, well,
Speaker 3: no other female chimp will then stand a chance. And
Speaker 3: then you throw this into our workplace, historically patriarchal society,
Speaker 3: and it's just like, no wonder women now try to
Speaker 3: knock each other down because we have such limited resources
Speaker 3: and limited chances to become powerful in our workplace, to
Speaker 3: have high powered positions, CEO positions. It's known that women
Speaker 3: have smaller chance. So it's normal and we've done it
Speaker 3: from backing the chimpanzees. It's normal to want to start
Speaker 3: to slowly knock each other off so that you're more
Speaker 3: likely to get the position. And it's crazy to think
Speaker 3: about just kick her out of the boardroom.
Speaker 1: No, it's brutal. They literally just like slaughter each other.
Speaker 4: But I mean, I guess like this is a very
Speaker 4: crude and rudimentary way of looking at it, but there
Speaker 4: is some method to the madness with this. So evolutionary
Speaker 4: theory was one of the ways that they unpack why
Speaker 4: women have this competitive nature towards each other. And then
Speaker 4: the second reason, which is something that we really delved into,
Speaker 4: is this idea of internalized sexism. And Shameless has done
Speaker 4: an awesome episode which we really recommend you guys go
Speaker 4: listen to and that's all about internalized misogyny, which is
Speaker 4: basically the same thing. They spocus very much on how
Speaker 4: it presents itself in the media, But internalized feminism has
Speaker 4: this idea we are products. Even if we live in
Speaker 4: a very modern, twenty twenty society, we are still products
Speaker 4: of the society in which we have been raised and
Speaker 4: of the constructs from which we are raised. And you know,
Speaker 4: as much as things are changing and we are progressing,
Speaker 4: there is still double standards that are uphold from time
Speaker 4: to time between men and women, and we still have
Speaker 4: this idea around femininity, how women are supposed to behave,
Speaker 4: what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable, and when someone
Speaker 4: steps outside of that boundary of what's acceptable, there is
Speaker 4: something about that that's innately threatening to us. And a
Speaker 4: really interesting and I think such an amazing example of
Speaker 4: this is if you guys have watched the it's a
Speaker 4: relatively new series that's come out. It's called Missus America.
Speaker 4: It's all based around the movement of Equal Rights Amendment,
Speaker 4: which was in the seventies, where women will lo being
Speaker 4: for equal rights to men. And the really really and
Speaker 4: the part about this series which is really interesting is
Speaker 4: the unexpected backlash that the movement received by conservative activists
Speaker 4: who were actually led by other women. So it was
Speaker 4: women who at the time were housewives who had very
Speaker 4: traditional roles who saw this push for equality as a
Speaker 4: real threat to their understanding and what they'd been conditioned
Speaker 4: to believe is acceptable. And I think we would be
Speaker 4: so hard pressed in modern society to find a movement
Speaker 4: of women in Australia or in the States who would
Speaker 4: say that equality for men and women is not good
Speaker 4: for women, Like I think we'd be hard pressed to
Speaker 4: find people who would think that that's a bad idea.
Speaker 4: I think in modern society most women would agree that.
Speaker 2: I should hope.
Speaker 4: Most people would agree that having the right to vote
Speaker 4: as a woman is empowering and absolutely necessary, and it
Speaker 4: is exactly what we should be entitled to to have
Speaker 4: equal standing to male gender. However, to think that in
Speaker 4: the seventies there was a whole movement of women who
Speaker 4: were against this really shows that we can be conditioned
Speaker 4: and we are products of the society that we're raised in.
Speaker 4: So let's like fast forward and bring that into twenty twenty.
Speaker 4: It got me thinking, and what it got me thinking
Speaker 4: was like, when I see someone who posts something really
Speaker 4: overtly sexual on Instagram. It doesn't affect me. I don't
Speaker 4: really care about the content like it doesn't. It doesn't
Speaker 4: upset me or phase me. But there's something in me
Speaker 4: that goes that's too much, like why would you post that?
Speaker 4: And I guess it's this idea in the conversation we
Speaker 4: wanted to have was like being really aware of the
Speaker 4: thoughts that you have and where they come from, because
Speaker 4: we're all guilty of it to.
Speaker 2: Some varying degree.
Speaker 4: And if you find yourself slut shaming or questioning why
Speaker 4: someone's behaving in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable,
Speaker 4: maybe it doesn't really make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe it
Speaker 4: makes you feel uncomfortable because that's what you've been socially
Speaker 4: conditioned to think is appropriate or inappropriate, and that person
Speaker 4: is behaving in a way that falls outside our very
Speaker 4: rigid ideas around femininity. Well, psychology today does actually say
Speaker 4: they support this, and they say what it is. It's
Speaker 4: women projecting their unwanted parts onto another woman. So these
Speaker 4: are things like jealousy, the envy, rage, anxiety, lack of confidence.
Speaker 4: That's what that's what that is, that's your reaction to
Speaker 4: that it's your lack of confidence and it's your jealousy,
Speaker 4: and we're all we're all guilty. There's not one person
Speaker 4: out there that can't say there have not been jealous
Speaker 4: of another woman. And I can guarantee you when you
Speaker 4: look at someone that you're jealous of, you instead of saying,
Speaker 4: full stop, they are beautiful, that's it, you'll say they're beautiful,
Speaker 4: but look how much work they've done. They're beautiful, but
Speaker 4: they've got a filter on. They're beautiful, but they're twenty
Speaker 4: two years old. Why do we feel the need to
Speaker 4: put the butt in. It's because we don't look like
Speaker 4: that and we're insecure about it. Yeah, and there's this
Speaker 4: idea that like, by devaluing someone, it elevates yourself. I mean, guys,
Speaker 4: I did it this morning. So please don't think that
Speaker 4: this is at all a rent where we're saying women
Speaker 4: are shit and like we need to be better.
Speaker 1: Like, oh no, we're both guilty of it.
Speaker 4: And I think it's just something that we were so
Speaker 4: we became I'm aware of and I was like, why
Speaker 4: do I have these thoughts from time to time? And
Speaker 4: obviously I'm not someone who's going to go and write
Speaker 4: it on social media, like, that's a whole nother ballgame,
Speaker 4: but I think that they all stem from the same thing,
Speaker 4: and so being really aware of your thoughts is something
Speaker 4: that we think is super important and you know, questioning
Speaker 4: why you think something. I literally did it this morning.
Speaker 4: Matt and I were laying in bed and the same thing.
Speaker 4: We were looking through Instagram and Chrissy Tagan, who I love, like,
Speaker 4: I absolutely love following her. She's, you know, an awesome
Speaker 4: mum's spiration. She's very funny and I get a lot
Speaker 4: out of following her social media. She posted some photos
Speaker 4: and I was watching her stories and that was like, gosh,
Speaker 4: Christy Tagan's really beautiful. And I was like, yeah, but
Speaker 4: she's had a lot of work done. Look at how
Speaker 4: much feeler she has. And I stopped myself. I said it,
Speaker 4: and I was like, whoa, Okay, I'm doing it. I'm
Speaker 4: so grateful for this podcast topic that we're about to do.
Speaker 4: I was like, do you know what, babe, I was like,
Speaker 4: I take that back. I have no idea if she's
Speaker 4: had feeler or not. This is me projecting my own insecurity.
Speaker 2: She's just beautiful. I was like, she's fucking hot.
Speaker 4: And I wish I looked that hot, and that recognition,
Speaker 4: I think is something that we can all sit in
Speaker 4: a little bit and it feels uncomfortable. And there's definitely
Speaker 4: going to be people who are hello of a lot
Speaker 4: better and a hell of a lot mature about it
Speaker 4: than others, and they are a lot more comfortable in
Speaker 4: their own skin. But I guess for me, it's really
Speaker 4: highlighted that I do have insecurities around the way I look,
Speaker 4: and obviously like being in the public world has not
Speaker 4: helped that. Like, you know, feeling like sometimes my appearance
Speaker 4: is up for public conversation has definitely fed into my
Speaker 4: own insecurities. But I'm now recognizing how it's very unhelpful
Speaker 4: to project that onto somebody else. It doesn't do anything
Speaker 4: to elevate me or make me seem better. It's just
Speaker 4: a bit bitchy.
Speaker 1: What I found interesting.
Speaker 3: So the reason I really wanted to do this is
Speaker 3: a it was really highlighted to me in what's happening
Speaker 3: in the world right now in terms of The Bachelor,
Speaker 3: it's just like thrown in our face. There's all this
Speaker 3: online trolling, bullying, it's physically happening on the Bachelor. I
Speaker 3: just found it really interesting. But when when I started
Speaker 3: to delve into it, I just found the studies that
Speaker 3: I was reading really really interesting, and that's why I
Speaker 3: really wanted to share them and highlight them. And there's
Speaker 3: this queen Bee syndrome that I stumbled upon from the
Speaker 3: University of Arizona. There's a professor there called Alison Gabriel,
Speaker 3: and she says that this queen Bee syndrome is real.
Speaker 3: It is a phenomenon, and it's about powerful women being
Speaker 3: disliked more than normal women. And this is because they
Speaker 3: display non stereotypical traits, so it's because they're taking men's roles.
Speaker 3: So it's about women in powerful positions. I think that
Speaker 3: there is a sense of jealousy if there's someone in
Speaker 3: your life that's doing really well, or if there's someone
Speaker 3: that's telling you what to do, or someone another woman
Speaker 3: in your workplace got a promotion.
Speaker 1: Now, when I was reading this, there's this really interesting study.
Speaker 3: Talk about it is there was this female professor and
Speaker 3: she thought, I'm just going to run an experiment. She
Speaker 3: had two completely different, like two completely separate classes. She
Speaker 3: was giving the exact same information. She was talking to
Speaker 3: them exactly the same way, all via emails. This was
Speaker 3: their communication. All the emails were the same, but one
Speaker 3: would go out and she was the female professor, and
Speaker 3: then she would change her name to a male's name
Speaker 3: and send it out to the other group as a
Speaker 3: male professor. Now everything she did was the same, her
Speaker 3: language was the same, the content was the same, and
Speaker 3: the figureback that she got was actually quite negative from
Speaker 3: all the females and her being a female professor. So people,
Speaker 3: even though she was giving the same content, people seem
Speaker 3: to gravitate and like the male professor more even though
Speaker 3: he was giving the same content. And that made me
Speaker 3: really think there must be some subconscious there, some subconscious
Speaker 3: thought that we just don't want to accept and respect
Speaker 3: that there's a woman that could possibly be in power
Speaker 3: and be highly intelligent and be teaching or something.
Speaker 1: It was just so interesting, But I think it.
Speaker 4: Also plays into this idea of like women are held
Speaker 4: to a much higher standard than men. If we behave
Speaker 4: in a way that's like emotional or heightened, where labeled
Speaker 4: as neurotic or crazy. You know, you see it in
Speaker 4: politics all the time, where you see men yelling and screaming,
Speaker 4: and you know, even recently one of like one of
Speaker 4: the Australian politicians was swearing in parliament. If a woman
Speaker 4: was to behave like that, she would be labeled as
Speaker 4: just that shit ass crazy. But men can behave like that,
Speaker 4: whereas women have to like, behave in a way that's
Speaker 4: like that is assertive, without being viewed as aggressive or
Speaker 4: without being viewed as bitchy. I do think that there
Speaker 4: is a very different standard for which we are held to,
Speaker 4: and so I think that that bias also plays into
Speaker 4: account here as well. There was another research study that
Speaker 4: I found that was so interesting. This really played into
Speaker 4: my own internal dialogue around this whole conversation, and that
Speaker 4: was in twenty thirteen. There was a study that was
Speaker 4: brought out by the University of Ottawa. This study has
Speaker 4: been revisited bazillions of times in media and also when
Speaker 4: referencing this type of behavior. So the professor's name was
Speaker 4: Stracive Verlaine Court, and she shows that women a program
Speaker 4: to sometimes act aggressively or even bitually towards women who
Speaker 4: are perceived as sexier. So the way that they actually
Speaker 4: rolled out this study is that they had eighty six
Speaker 4: different Canadian women as a subject group, and basically they
Speaker 4: had this woman walk in who was dressed very understated
Speaker 4: in car keys in like jumper, like, nothing about her
Speaker 4: was overtly sexualized or even overtly noticeable, and nobody commented
Speaker 4: on her, nobody even realized that she was in the
Speaker 4: room as one of the participants. Then they had the
Speaker 4: exact same woman come back on the second day, but
Speaker 4: this time she was dressed in a very very sexualized outfit,
Speaker 4: you know, a short skirt, she had her cleavage out,
Speaker 4: and ninety seven percent of the women who were present
Speaker 4: in that case study wrote and like commented something that
Speaker 4: was negative about that person. They had to write about
Speaker 4: the different people who are in the room, and ninety
Speaker 4: seven percent of them had had noticed her and been
Speaker 4: very negative about what she was wearing and who she
Speaker 4: was as a person, without actually ever speaking to her
Speaker 4: or knowing anything about her. And in this case, study
Speaker 4: has been held up as an example of sort of
Speaker 4: this internalized sexism that we have towards other women and
Speaker 4: how we can see very sexualized women as a threat,
Speaker 4: and this does then translate into the media. This does
Speaker 4: then translate into social media as well. And I think
Speaker 4: the really important thing to kind of take away from
Speaker 4: this as well in this conversation is like, we don't
Speaker 4: want this conversation to turn into a blame shifting thing,
Speaker 4: Like we absolutely recognize that, like it's something that we
Speaker 4: can all be guilty of from time to time. But
Speaker 4: this is not like women are shit, women are bitches,
Speaker 4: because I don't want to play into that gender stereotype.
Speaker 3: I really because we're women too, absolutely, oh my god, totally,
Speaker 3: and we are all about women supporting women.
Speaker 4: We have the most incredible Facebook community through life on
Speaker 4: Cut where we see the empowerment that comes when people
Speaker 4: support each other. I actually really hate this conversation around
Speaker 4: saying that women can be bitchy to each other and
Speaker 4: acknowledging it because I think it plays into the gender
Speaker 4: stereotype that women are irrational, women a bitchier, women are
Speaker 4: highly emotional, and I think the more that we give
Speaker 4: power to that narrative the more that people, the more
Speaker 4: that it sort of oppresses us from being able to
Speaker 4: have those really high powered jobs and progress towards equality.
Speaker 4: So I do think that there is like the antithesis
Speaker 4: of this conversation. However, the really interesting thing I took
Speaker 4: away from that study, of the Canadian study was the
Speaker 4: Professor Tracy Velaine Court had said, you know, there are
Speaker 4: stereotypes and then there are things that are actually true,
Speaker 4: and there are things that hold women back from progressing.
Speaker 4: And one of those things that holds us back is
Speaker 4: actually our own psyche and the way that we treat
Speaker 4: other women. Because if we're out there calling women sluts
Speaker 4: or saying you know, derogative things on social media or
Speaker 4: wherever else amongst our friends, amongst our workplace, then it
Speaker 4: also allows men to use that language, and it gives
Speaker 4: them permission to treat women in the same way or
Speaker 4: to you know, have our value based in the way
Speaker 4: we look. So it was more a conversation around being
Speaker 4: like super conscious of your thoughts and like where that
Speaker 4: internalized feeling of like I don't like that person, but
Speaker 4: not really knowing why where that actually comes from, so
Speaker 4: that we can monitor ourselves and be more self censoring.
Speaker 4: And then that, you know, allows us to take steps
Speaker 4: towards going, oh, that lady is beautiful and I don't
Speaker 4: need to put the butt in there. Just going back
Speaker 4: as well, just going back quickly to this idea that
Speaker 4: like we do hold women to a different standard that
Speaker 4: we hold men. There's something that's happened really recently in
Speaker 4: the media, and I think it's something that's really interesting,
Speaker 4: and that is the conversation around Chris Evans and his
Speaker 4: dick pic.
Speaker 2: Do we all know what.
Speaker 1: I've seen that do pic? Of course, the whole world
Speaker 1: has seen that. It went viral within an hour.
Speaker 4: So if you don't know what we're talking about, Chris Evans,
Speaker 4: who is super hot, but yes, also he accidentally, he
Speaker 4: accidentally posted a photo of his erect.
Speaker 3: Penis on his Instagram Instagram story. I just want to
Speaker 3: quickly interrupt because it was either an accident or very
Speaker 3: very very clever publicity move.
Speaker 4: The way he's come out and spoken about it has
Speaker 4: been that it was not something that he wanted to share. Okay, continue,
Speaker 4: So he accidentally dick picked us all, like you know,
Speaker 4: an unsolicited dig pic on Instagram is pretty aggressive. But
Speaker 4: what happened was is he posted a video. He posted
Speaker 4: a picture of his camera roll, and one of the
Speaker 4: pictures in the camera roll was of his erect piece.
Speaker 3: See if that's not the best accidentally filtered with ever?
Speaker 3: Thank you, Chris Evans.
Speaker 4: The thing that's been really interesting about the reaction to
Speaker 4: this is that all of Chris's followers and fans have
Speaker 4: really rushed to his support, and it's been this incredible,
Speaker 4: this incredible show of like, you know, he didn't want
Speaker 4: to do that. We don't want his dick pic being
Speaker 4: flooding the internet. So they have been flooding the Internet
Speaker 4: with pictures of him to try and suppress the dick pic.
Speaker 4: So it's going further and further down Google, so making
Speaker 4: it harder and harder for people to fight. Now, this
Speaker 4: is exactly how we should behaving when somebody's nude photos,
Speaker 4: al most vulnerable pictures get displayed on the internet. However,
Speaker 4: looking back, when the exact same thing happened to Jennifer Lawrence, however,
Speaker 4: it happened completely against her control. Her photos were hacked
Speaker 4: and then super intimate photos of her were released onto
Speaker 4: the Internet. There wasn't this outpouring of support where people
Speaker 4: were trying to flood the Internet and stop people from
Speaker 4: finding the nudes. If anything, people were looking up the
Speaker 4: nudes and trying to find them. And she got so
Speaker 4: much hate and abuse and like hideous messages calling her
Speaker 4: a slut, calling her all different things under the sun.
Speaker 4: I remember how big a story this was, and there's
Speaker 4: this conversation around is it just changing because this was
Speaker 4: pre the Me too movement, and you know, maybe things
Speaker 4: have started to shift and maybe we are becoming really
Speaker 4: cognizant of the importance of consent and how we should
Speaker 4: treat people when their privacy is exposed. Or is it
Speaker 4: a reflection that we do hold men and women up
Speaker 4: to slightly different standards.
Speaker 3: I think it's a bit of a and bit to b.
Speaker 3: I think we're definitely coming a long way. We are
Speaker 3: recognizing way more our place in society, equality, how we
Speaker 3: should treat each other one hundred percent. There is definitely
Speaker 3: that movement which is brilliant, but there's.
Speaker 1: No way we're there yet.
Speaker 3: It's still definitely the second men show any sort of vulnerability,
Speaker 3: we praise them. The second women show vulnerability, it's usually like, oh,
Speaker 3: she's a bit unhinged or you know. So there's there's
Speaker 3: still a bit of a and bit to b. Hopefully
Speaker 3: we continue to move forward and get to a point
Speaker 3: where we start to protect the women.
Speaker 1: Too when they've been leaked, for example. But this is
Speaker 1: such an interesting chat.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think that it is progressive. Like you said,
Speaker 4: I do think that the times are changing, and I
Speaker 4: think that the more we have these conversations, the more
Speaker 4: that we're aware of our internal thoughts, the more that
Speaker 4: we're taking steps towards that level of like equality across
Speaker 4: the board. And just to bring it back to Bachelor
Speaker 4: for two seconds before we wrap this bad boy up, obviously,
Speaker 4: like this season has been really weird, and I would
Speaker 4: I'm kind of actually a bit off it to be
Speaker 4: totally honest and transparent, because I think that by this
Speaker 4: point in the in the reality TV journey, they've stopped
Speaker 4: focusing on the drama between the girls and they start
Speaker 4: focusing on the love story. But I feel like this
Speaker 4: season it's just all been this cattiness and the bitchiness
Speaker 4: between Irena and Bella, and that's been like the real
Speaker 4: conversation that has absolutely masked everything that you know, people
Speaker 4: want to watch The Bachelor for, which is like the
Speaker 4: potential of a really beautiful love story. And I just
Speaker 4: think it's really disappointing. I mean, I think there's been
Speaker 4: behavior that's been on the show there's disappointing, but I
Speaker 4: also think that the focus on women tearing each other down,
Speaker 4: especially off the back of Paradise bit, where we're like
Speaker 4: the the most amazing thing that we took from that
Speaker 4: series was women supporting women and how empowering that was.
Speaker 2: I just think it's taken a few step backwards with
Speaker 2: this season.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And look, one of the things that I'm really
Speaker 3: I'm actually really proud of and I wish sort of
Speaker 3: made more of an impact now and I thought it
Speaker 3: would have, is that you only have to look at
Speaker 3: my season The Bachelor and my finale to look at
Speaker 3: the fact that it doesn't have to be a competition.
Speaker 3: Women can support women and go all the way to
Speaker 3: the end. Sophie and I we obviously were at the
Speaker 3: end together, and before we knew that Nick wasn't going
Speaker 3: to pick anyone, we still were so genuinely happy if
Speaker 3: it was going to be one of us for the
Speaker 3: other person, Obviously we would be really upset because we
Speaker 3: both wanted it to be asked. But there was never, ever, ever,
Speaker 3: any mean behavior between us, anything negative said to each
Speaker 3: other about each other, to producers, to anyone else. There's
Speaker 3: no bitchiness the whole season. And then even at the end,
Speaker 3: the whole premise of that finale was like women supporting women,
Speaker 3: we still wanted to go and help each other. We
Speaker 3: still wanted to go make sure each other okay. And
Speaker 3: I think that this is just a prime example of
Speaker 3: the fact that you don't have to be in competition
Speaker 3: with someone. It's women go further in life when you're
Speaker 3: supporting each other. And it's actually statistically proven that women
Speaker 3: have a smaller supportive group around them go further in
Speaker 3: life and are more successful. This I literally read this
Speaker 3: this morning. I'm actually really lucky. I do have a
Speaker 3: really small group of friends, Like I can probably count
Speaker 3: them on one hand, to be honest, but all of
Speaker 3: them are so supportive of everything I do, and I
Speaker 3: genuinely feel like that's what gives me the balls to
Speaker 3: keep trying things and to keep pushing myself. And there's
Speaker 3: never been jealousy. There's never been anything. And I'm like
Speaker 3: that with my friends, like I'll always put them first
Speaker 3: and I'll always celebrate their wins. And I think that
Speaker 3: when I think of like what we wanted from this conversation,
Speaker 3: I think it's just to a recognize that we're all
Speaker 3: guilty of this behavior, of this type of jealousy and
Speaker 3: maybe even just gossiping innocent gossip that you think is
Speaker 3: innocent can really perpetuate into something that's a lot bigger
Speaker 3: and can really hurt someone's feelings, like words are so
Speaker 3: so powder. So I think what we wanted to get
Speaker 3: from it was just a check yourself, check your friends,
Speaker 3: recognize the conversations you're having, and just think about why
Speaker 3: you're having them.
Speaker 4: And also, just to add one last thing before we
Speaker 4: fully wrap up, I think also be really really aware
Speaker 4: and critical of the shit that you're reading, because I
Speaker 4: do think that the media plays a huge role in
Speaker 4: pitting women against each other. You know, they can take
Speaker 4: a certain line, they can take a photo of a
Speaker 4: certain point in time, they can really fabricate this pitting
Speaker 4: women against each other. And an example like I have
Speaker 4: from my own personal experience is the constant pitting of
Speaker 4: Georgia Love and myself against each other. We barely know
Speaker 4: each other and we have nothing negative to say about
Speaker 4: each other. We don't dislike each other, we don't know
Speaker 4: each other, so like why would we? But from the
Speaker 4: very day dot of when I was on the Bachelor,
Speaker 4: the media has constantly compared us. They've said, you know,
Speaker 4: Laura Burns a Georgia Love two point zero. They've said,
Speaker 4: you know, like that, we have been having TIFs. It's
Speaker 4: just been this absolute fallacy. And one of the things
Speaker 4: that happened most recently that really really upset me actually
Speaker 4: because I was like, this is just such bullshit, and
Speaker 4: you know, the media can really make a story out
Speaker 4: of anything. We were at Melbourne Cup Races and Georgia
Speaker 4: was interviewing for Channel ten and so part of the
Speaker 4: was a photo on the wall and then we went
Speaker 4: and had an interview. But it was such an awesome chat,
Speaker 4: like we talked about how we were both engaged, and
Speaker 4: we were like, you.
Speaker 2: Know, look at your ring you Oh, what's your dress
Speaker 2: gonna be like?
Speaker 4: And it was just a really like lovely, supportive conversation
Speaker 4: and I walked away from it going like, oh, that
Speaker 4: was so nice. Like I was really nervous about chatting
Speaker 4: to her because I was like, I don't know how
Speaker 4: this is going to go because the media always ends
Speaker 4: up writing something so negative. And it was awesome and
Speaker 4: I had such a nice day. And then the next
Speaker 4: day there was several articles online and it was a photo,
Speaker 4: a quick one second photo that was taken out of
Speaker 4: a whole conversation where we both didn't look like we
Speaker 4: were enjoying ourselves. We both looked a little bit disinterested
Speaker 4: or disgruntled, and it was just one second in time,
Speaker 4: and then an entire article had been written about how
Speaker 4: we hate each other and how we are in competition
Speaker 4: and how you know you're jealous of each other because
Speaker 4: you know, she dated Matt, who fucking cares like. It
Speaker 4: was just so fabricated, and it made me really really
Speaker 4: aware of just how much can be written in the
Speaker 4: media that's not true, and how far they can go
Speaker 4: to perpetuate this idea that women are always in competition
Speaker 4: with each other. So this is just my personal story
Speaker 4: on this. So and I'm saying this because I think,
Speaker 4: you know, we really need to be critical of the
Speaker 4: stuff that we're reading and not take everything on face value.
Speaker 3: Yeah, for all of you non BATCHI people and all
Speaker 3: of our lovely overseas listeners. Just like a quick little recap.
Speaker 3: Georgia love who Laura's talking about. She was bachelorette, Matt
Speaker 3: was the runner up on So he got rejected and,
Speaker 3: like in Inverted Cooms, heartbroken.
Speaker 1: I don't know if he was. I think he was.
Speaker 1: He was, Yeah, he totally was, said Yeah.
Speaker 3: Then the next year Matt became the Bachelor, and then
Speaker 3: that's when Laura won. So this is why the media
Speaker 3: pit Laura and Georgia against each other because it was like, oh,
Speaker 3: Matt was heartbroken and he still loves Georgia and that
Speaker 3: was the thing that they wanted to play on when
Speaker 3: it just was completely fabricated. But the issue is we're
Speaker 3: still at this place. The reason they write these articles
Speaker 3: is because we're still in this place where no one
Speaker 3: wants to say. No one was to see article that
Speaker 3: says Laura and Georgia had a great conversation, like they
Speaker 3: don't want to read it. They want to be like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, there are at each other's throats, because
Speaker 3: that's what we still that's the clickbait, and that's what
Speaker 3: we're still clicking on one hundred percent. And it just
Speaker 3: fucking sucked because it was such a wholesome chat that
Speaker 3: I walked away from it feeling like so devastated that
Speaker 3: once again this idea was just perpetuated.
Speaker 4: I was like, we're never going to escape that narrative.
Speaker 4: We're never going to because that's what is being pushed
Speaker 4: by media. So that was like a weird way to
Speaker 4: wrap this up. But I think that all these things
Speaker 4: really like, I think all these things really interrelate, like
Speaker 4: social media, the media, our internalized thoughts, the conversations we
Speaker 4: had with our friends. They all stem from the same
Speaker 4: conversation and the same thing. So, like we said, I mean,
Speaker 4: really just to kind of put a bow on this
Speaker 4: and wrap it all up nicely, it comes down to
Speaker 4: us as women to self censor the things that we're
Speaker 4: saying and the things that we're doing. And this whole
Speaker 4: idea of like two wrongs don't make a right and
Speaker 4: an eye for an eye makes everyone blind. Just being
Speaker 4: like all the women and men on the Life on
Speaker 4: Cut podcast group, because if you haven't enjoyed the Life
Speaker 4: on Cut podcast group, honestly, it is one of the
Speaker 4: only podcast groups that I've ever been a part of
Speaker 4: where people are so incredibly supportive, uplifting, and I'm just
Speaker 4: such a big fan.
Speaker 2: Get on there, you're a fan of your own podcast group.
Speaker 3: I'm also a lot of a biased No, it is true,
Speaker 3: we're super lucky to have that community.
Speaker 1: And that's what we're saying.
Speaker 3: We don't want to be on this rand that like
Speaker 3: women suck because they don't, You're all amazing. We just
Speaker 3: wanted to we think it's an interesting conversation. We wanted
Speaker 3: to highlight it because it's happening in front of our
Speaker 3: eyes in the media, we're seeing it online.
Speaker 1: And we just thought it was an important conversation because.
Speaker 3: Literally, the only way we're going to progress is to
Speaker 3: physically mentally make these improvements now ourselves, and you can
Speaker 3: only do that by checking yourself and your friends too.
Speaker 3: Like even some of my friends sometimes they'll say something
Speaker 3: since I've had since I've been researching this, they'll say
Speaker 3: something there's like innocent, but like, oh my god, you
Speaker 3: see what she wore, And I'm like, well, hang on,
Speaker 3: chios really great.
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to.
Speaker 3: Even say what I'm trying to even stop myself from
Speaker 3: getting into that conversation because I think that's really really important,
Speaker 3: and my friends are all getting on board with it.
Speaker 3: Everyone in my life is starting to be really positive,
Speaker 3: and I think that once we all get on this movement,
Speaker 3: this is how we're going to.
Speaker 1: Evolve as a generation. Boom.
Speaker 2: That's a wrap.
Speaker 1: Okay, guys.
Speaker 4: You know that we never finish an episode without our
Speaker 4: suck and our sweet and that means that this is
Speaker 4: our highlight and our low light of the week. Brittany,
Speaker 4: you can kick it off. What was your suck?
Speaker 2: Baby?
Speaker 3: I need to say that because you're thinking of what
Speaker 3: yours see I know miner okay, oh have a funny
Speaker 3: one that's not funny, but myself. Way to really preemd
Speaker 3: it why suck is that whilst Laura and I were away,
Speaker 3: we got our Facebook memories that works. Like Laura's was
Speaker 3: like happy three year anniversary to you and Mad and
Speaker 3: then mine came up and it was like happy two
Speaker 3: year anniversary to you and Nick. And it was like
Speaker 3: disaster because it's like a photo of me walking away
Speaker 3: from Nick being heartbroken, and I just thought that was
Speaker 3: Whilst I'm saying it's my suck, it was actually so funny.
Speaker 3: That's like the biggest dickhead Facebook memory that there is.
Speaker 1: Like, I mean, most people when you.
Speaker 4: Go through a breakup, they usual Facebook just deletes everything
Speaker 4: from your life, like you know, it's like they don't exist,
Speaker 4: like you know, you don't even get a friend notification nothing.
Speaker 4: They're just gone into the nethera of the social media world.
Speaker 4: But then like for you, each year you get like,
Speaker 4: hey on this day two years ago, you got dumbed publicly,
Speaker 4: Hey on miss day, three years ago, you had your
Speaker 4: heart smashed into a thousand fucking pieces.
Speaker 2: It's just cruel. A line. You can laugh about it,
Speaker 2: but it's cruel.
Speaker 3: Oh and this is the great thing like a year
Speaker 3: ago wouldn't have last, would have been like ouch. Now
Speaker 3: I'm in hysterics also because one of the memes that
Speaker 3: I keep seeing that pops up is just like me
Speaker 3: in the dress walking away and there's just someone's written
Speaker 3: on it and said, at least she got to wear
Speaker 3: a wedding dress. And I was like, fair, like, mate,
Speaker 3: you well played. I did well in saying that.
Speaker 4: On the exact same day as you had your two
Speaker 4: year anniversary, Matt and I had our three year anniversary,
Speaker 4: which is really startling because we really didn't take things slow,
Speaker 4: did we. Why maybe she was about to pop out
Speaker 4: a hot lap to the finish line.
Speaker 2: I know, we're like, we're gonna get married one day. Guys.
Speaker 4: We're just trying to do things in the most unconventional
Speaker 4: way possible.
Speaker 1: And you and I just keep being really really contrasted
Speaker 1: in our life, don't we Like it?
Speaker 4: Just really like I just couldn't be at a more
Speaker 4: opposite point in my life. Well, like what's gonna be
Speaker 4: good for the podcast. Let's do something really polar opposite,
Speaker 4: britt you stay single, and I'm just going to keep
Speaker 4: pro creating at the same time each year, I'll have
Speaker 4: to keep looking after them Arnie Brittany duty.
Speaker 3: My sweet would literally just be that I did get
Speaker 3: to go up to Byron Bay.
Speaker 1: I had a great time with my friends. The weather
Speaker 1: was really great.
Speaker 3: I didn't serve as much as I wanted to because
Speaker 3: there was a shark, like a really big shark. But
Speaker 3: I we had like a semi week off. It was
Speaker 3: a working holiday, but I felt good.
Speaker 1: So that's my sweet. So what's yours?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Sorry, said again, So what's your suck? I suck my suck?
Speaker 1: I don't remember. I swear to God, you just said
Speaker 1: you knew it.
Speaker 4: No, my suck is. My suck is at today. And
Speaker 4: I know I've been speaking about this for the last
Speaker 4: couple of weeks, but today is Marley's very first day
Speaker 4: of daycare. We started recording it this morning, and as
Speaker 4: we sat down to record, Matt took Marley to daycare,
Speaker 4: and then I got a phone call from him, which
Speaker 4: was that she got really upset and she cried a
Speaker 4: lot before he left, and I had wild, wild, wild
Speaker 4: amounts of anxiety and then I cried and I walked in.
Speaker 1: And Laura sitting on the luande and she looks up
Speaker 1: at me. She's got tears in her eyes, and I
Speaker 1: look at her. I'm like, what's wrong, and she goes,
Speaker 1: Marlie went today. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm like, that's okay, and she's fine.
Speaker 4: Yes, it was. It was a lot, like I know,
Speaker 4: I've been talking about this last couple of weeks, but
Speaker 4: she's finally started one day a week. We're going to
Speaker 4: operate to two days next week, or we're gonna up
Speaker 4: it to two days soon. But I just wanted her
Speaker 4: to go and like run in there and play with
Speaker 4: the toys and stuff like she's done. We've done three
Speaker 4: different orientations because it's taking me that long to be
Speaker 4: okay with actually taking her to day care. You know,
Speaker 4: most a lot of parents just go for one orientation,
Speaker 4: but we've done three now.
Speaker 1: But Laura's I'm thirty three weeks.
Speaker 4: I just sat with her there every day, and so
Speaker 4: every time we've gone in for orientation, she's just run
Speaker 4: in and played with the toys. And so to hear
Speaker 4: that today when we were leaving her. She was really clinging,
Speaker 4: like she understood what was going on, Like really breaks
Speaker 4: my heart.
Speaker 2: So that is my suck.
Speaker 4: As much as I know it's a necessity, it's just
Speaker 4: not something that I want to do, and I'm really
Speaker 4: struggling with it a little bit.
Speaker 1: My sweet is that you have a free day.
Speaker 2: I don't have to suck my stomach in anymore when
Speaker 2: I go for walks. I just let everything hang free.
Speaker 4: No, my sweet is that I feel like I'm living
Speaker 4: more authentically, which sounds really wanky, but it's the truth.
Speaker 4: I've found it really difficult over the last four months
Speaker 4: to keep that part of my life a secret, not
Speaker 4: because I want to be banging on about it all
Speaker 4: the time by any means, but because you know, it's
Speaker 4: been such a significant being pregnant, having miscarriages, having my
Speaker 4: fertility journey has played a massive role on my mental
Speaker 4: health and my happiness, and I guess not being able
Speaker 4: to talk about it at all has made me feel
Speaker 4: a bit disconnected from myself. And so I'm really happy
Speaker 4: that now that's out in the open and I can,
Speaker 4: you know, say, hey, guys, the reason why I can't
Speaker 4: do this is because I'm dying of indigestion over here.
Speaker 4: All the reason I keep that thing into the microphone,
Speaker 4: that's why I have indigestion.
Speaker 2: But you know, just small.
Speaker 4: I know that sounds like pretty I guess like the
Speaker 4: intergestion thing sounds like a pretty insignificant thing, and it is.
Speaker 4: But on a big day to day picture, being pregnant
Speaker 4: really consumes a lot of your day, and it consumes
Speaker 4: a lot of your mental space. So keeping that private
Speaker 4: and not being able to speak about it at all
Speaker 4: has taken a bit of a toll. So I'm really
Speaker 4: happy that that's out in the open, and I'm really
Speaker 4: grateful for our community and everyone who's been super supportive.
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's it, babies.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, So guys, just before we go into a
Speaker 4: little bit of housekeep thank you to every single person
Speaker 4: who's joined the Life Uncut podcast Facebook group. Also to
Speaker 4: everybody who's joined up on Instagram as well. Like we said,
Speaker 4: the Facebook group is just the most incredible community. To
Speaker 4: everybody who's been organizing meetups in your own states and
Speaker 4: in your own areas, it is phenomenal. Please they keep
Speaker 4: sending us photos, keep letting us know when your meetups
Speaker 4: are and we can let you know the wider group know,
Speaker 4: and to everybody who has left a review so far,
Speaker 4: thank you so much. To everybody who hasn't left a review,
Speaker 4: this is your don't sit in the naughty corner or
Speaker 4: we would just love to know your feedback. We'd love
Speaker 4: to know the parts about the podcast that you love
Speaker 4: and any recommendations that you have as well. Please hit
Speaker 4: us up with that, because you know you subscribing and
Speaker 4: you leaving reviews is the only way that we're able
Speaker 4: to grow and to be able to keep on spreading
Speaker 4: the good word.
Speaker 1: Shann love because we love there cutting the company and
Speaker 1: the cutting the company, the cutter as the bay their
Speaker 1: way BA