WEBVTT - The test that changed my relationship with Tim 💗

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<v Speaker 1>The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the

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<v Speaker 1>land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen Bear region.

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<v Speaker 1>We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land,

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<v Speaker 1>sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders

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<v Speaker 1>past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal

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<v Speaker 1>and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to

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<v Speaker 1>the Rise and Conquer Podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the podcast for ordinary.

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<v Speaker 1>People who want to do extraordinary things. So not everyone

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<v Speaker 1>you know communicates and gives love in the same way.

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<v Speaker 1>So the whole premise is if you know your love

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<v Speaker 1>language and your partner's love language, or even just the

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<v Speaker 1>people around you, you will be able to express your

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<v Speaker 1>love and just express yourself and have a better relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello and welcome back to the Rising Kunker Podcast. It

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<v Speaker 1>is your host, Georgie Stevenson, lawyer turned entrepreneur, business owner,

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<v Speaker 1>new mum, all the things guys. Today we are talking

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<v Speaker 1>about love languages. So this concept has come from a

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<v Speaker 1>book by the author of Gary Chapman. The book is

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<v Speaker 1>called The Five Love Languages How to Express heartfelt commitment

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<v Speaker 1>to your Mate. So we have been talking about love

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<v Speaker 1>languages on in the office actually just randomly, and a

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<v Speaker 1>Tea was like, do you know yours?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know Tim's?

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<v Speaker 1>We got in this whole convo, made Tim do the test,

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<v Speaker 1>and turns out didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>Know didn't know your own either.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't know my own. Thought it was physical touch,

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<v Speaker 1>it wasn't didn't know Tim's. And then it opened up

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<v Speaker 1>this really beautiful conversation between me and Tim about our

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<v Speaker 1>relationship and I think especially being new parents, Yeah, your

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<v Speaker 1>love kind of gets put on the back burner. So

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<v Speaker 1>it has just been a really great refresher for our relationship.

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<v Speaker 1>So we thought we'd bring it to the potty. Also,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tear chats about her love language and how she

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<v Speaker 1>fills up her own love cup.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes we're calling it that. I think we should love it.

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<v Speaker 2>We didn't in the episode, but now we are.

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<v Speaker 1>So.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a really beautiful episode and just for you guys

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<v Speaker 1>to think about, even if you're single, how you're filling

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<v Speaker 1>up your love.

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<v Speaker 2>Cup and how you fill up the people around you too,

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<v Speaker 2>friends and family.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I love But before we get into the episodes,

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<v Speaker 1>A Tear I had such a wholesome weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>I loved that.

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<v Speaker 1>So on Friday, I had my event for Pedal and Pup,

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<v Speaker 1>which was amazing collections, so beautiful, thank you, and it

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<v Speaker 1>was just so good to see like everyone there in

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<v Speaker 1>it in this you know room it was it was

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<v Speaker 1>really spectacular.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone looked good.

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone looked amazing good.

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<v Speaker 2>So that was beautiful. Everyone got a little bit lit.

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<v Speaker 1>Literally except me because that tear doesn't drink, but because

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<v Speaker 1>we were at a gin distillery and they were making

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<v Speaker 1>these cocktails so strong. I had a mocktail and it

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<v Speaker 1>tasted really good. Mine tasted really good. It was just

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<v Speaker 1>you could tell you're drinking gin. They were really pumping

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<v Speaker 1>in there. So everyone like, by the end of it

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<v Speaker 1>was pretty lit, weren't they they were. It was such

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<v Speaker 1>a good aftern It was such aod. And then we

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<v Speaker 1>ended up at the pav after and then a tear

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<v Speaker 1>dropped me home at nine thirty. Thank you when you

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<v Speaker 1>get to lit, no no. And then I had a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful Saturday with the fam.

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<v Speaker 2>We went to the beach. It felt like summer. I know,

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. It was so good.

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<v Speaker 1>And then Sunday I actually had a tears birthday picnic,

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<v Speaker 1>so cute, so bougie tears, like oh, I'm just doing

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<v Speaker 1>this really last minute little birthday picnic, like come I

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<v Speaker 1>come there. It's like fully set up. Everything's like color coordinated.

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<v Speaker 1>You should just seen the invite. She had flowers and

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<v Speaker 1>cakes and food and cookies and it was so beautiful

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<v Speaker 1>and I got to meet a lot of her friends,

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<v Speaker 1>which was lovely nice. And then this week is a

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<v Speaker 1>huge week because Naked Harvest is actually gearing up for

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<v Speaker 1>its like biggest launch.

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<v Speaker 2>Ever, so exciting. Tears like I know what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>You should tell everything? Should I just tell them? No, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>would we're launching?

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<v Speaker 2>And there is Yeah, I didn't even know.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, that's your told you guys. First, our tea

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<v Speaker 1>is literally just like running off to tame Bell. So look,

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<v Speaker 1>she's got a busy week, I did say to a tea.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like my throat is getting a little bit sore,

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<v Speaker 1>which means we better record the next few weeks episode tomorrow. No,

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<v Speaker 1>it just means she's working hard. Yeah, but after this

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<v Speaker 1>I can obviously chill out. But oh my god, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so excited.

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<v Speaker 2>This is just we've.

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<v Speaker 1>Been I can't I just can't say too much. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a long time coming, and h gag. You're going

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<v Speaker 1>to be obsessed and it's going to be a big week,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm so excited to be here. How's your week?

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<v Speaker 1>Being a tear my Wee's been pretty good. Our weekend

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<v Speaker 1>are pretty much the same. We had Friday together, Saturday,

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<v Speaker 1>I had a pretty chill day. I didn't get to

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<v Speaker 1>the beach, but I just had a chill day with

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<v Speaker 1>my fam and went out for a late birthday dinner

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<v Speaker 1>and Saturday night which was really good, and.

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<v Speaker 2>Then Sunday had my picnic. So it's just very relaxing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm gonna go rote and give a recommendation on

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<v Speaker 1>a Tuesday, but I think everyone should try and get

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<v Speaker 1>outside into nature because the beach was the first time

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<v Speaker 1>I've been to the beach and like just lounged about

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<v Speaker 1>in a long time because it beach is a.

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<v Speaker 2>Bit far for me. I was about to say me

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<v Speaker 2>every day.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And it was really nice and I felt really

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<v Speaker 1>good and really refreshed and.

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<v Speaker 2>After love love that for you.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, guys, let's get into the episode. You guys

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<v Speaker 1>gonna love this one, all right, guys. So what our

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<v Speaker 1>love languages? So there are five love languages and basically

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<v Speaker 1>they kind of give us an indication of how we

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<v Speaker 1>like to receive love in our lives and how we

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<v Speaker 1>like to give love. This is one of a Tear's

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<v Speaker 1>favorite subjects. Yeah, honestly it is. I feel like it

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<v Speaker 1>can even if you're not in a relationship. Is so

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<v Speaker 1>beneficial to know and understand all the love languages and

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<v Speaker 1>if you can find out love languages of those around you.

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<v Speaker 1>In prep for this episode, me and Tim did the tests,

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<v Speaker 1>so actually him before we get into it. So basically,

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<v Speaker 1>the five Love Languages is from a book called The

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<v Speaker 1>Five Love Languages How You Can Express Heartfelt Commitment to

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<v Speaker 1>Your Mate by Gary Chapman, and in this read it.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't read it, but I've read a lot on it.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, I'm the same. I haven't read that, speek.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't even read the book.

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<v Speaker 1>What it's called, How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to your Mate? True,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe I didn't. Maybe I need to read it and

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<v Speaker 1>give it to dinner. But basically, the five love languages

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<v Speaker 1>are words of affirmation, quality, time, receiving gifts, acts of service,

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<v Speaker 1>and physical touch. So not everyone you know communicates and

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<v Speaker 1>gives love in the same way.

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<v Speaker 2>So the whole premise is.

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<v Speaker 1>If you know your love language and your partner's love language,

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<v Speaker 1>or even just the people around you, you will be

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<v Speaker 1>able to express your love and just express yourself and

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<v Speaker 1>have a better relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>So that would you would say it to you?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and even I'm not sure if anyone else's experiences.

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<v Speaker 1>When I was younger, words of affirmation was definitely my

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<v Speaker 1>love language, and I sent the longest paragraphs to people

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<v Speaker 1>and get like a banks bag and I'd.

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<v Speaker 2>Be like, yeah, damn in the heart it is.

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<v Speaker 1>But then as you get older and the more I

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<v Speaker 1>learned about this, I was like, oh, well, their love

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<v Speaker 1>language was clearly not words of affirmation, which is also

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<v Speaker 1>why I never got massive paragraphs from them.

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<v Speaker 2>So which is what you craved? Which is what I wanted?

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<v Speaker 1>And see, this is the thing though, is you often

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<v Speaker 1>express your love in what you would want for yourself. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but then it might not be their love language. So

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<v Speaker 1>that's when you know. Stuff can come up where you're like,

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<v Speaker 1>but I do this for you, and the other person

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<v Speaker 1>is like I don't care. Yes, And then like that

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<v Speaker 1>you're missing the whole point and you're probably going to

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<v Speaker 1>this effort.

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<v Speaker 2>And you don't need to yes. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>So in prep for this episode, me and Tim both

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<v Speaker 1>did the quizzz So, yeah, what's the quiz called a tea?

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<v Speaker 1>Well if you did in the show notes, Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>you just google five love language quiz and I'm guessing

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<v Speaker 1>it's a quiz from the book, but you can do

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<v Speaker 1>it and.

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<v Speaker 2>It tells you your love language.

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<v Speaker 1>So me and Tim both did it and in prep

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<v Speaker 1>for this episode, and oh my god, it tea. I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't really told you the outcome. No you haven't because

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<v Speaker 1>it was on the weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm ready to know.

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<v Speaker 1>We had I'll tell you the outcome. I think we

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<v Speaker 1>will express I'm sorry talk about them individually first. But

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<v Speaker 1>we had the best conversation me and Tim, and I

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<v Speaker 1>realized I didn't know his love language.

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<v Speaker 2>I literally thought it.

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<v Speaker 1>Was something else, and he kind of got mine. But

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<v Speaker 1>it's crazy because one that he thought would be like

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<v Speaker 1>my second or close to my first, I literally got

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<v Speaker 1>zero percent.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was no.

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<v Speaker 1>It was such a great conversation, so good, and we

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<v Speaker 1>got talking about it and oh my god, it was

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<v Speaker 1>so good. So I'm so excited to get into it.

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<v Speaker 1>Before I get into my love language. Tim Love's language

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<v Speaker 1>your love language a tea? Do you want to just

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<v Speaker 1>tell the audience a little.

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<v Speaker 2>Bit about each love language.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so let's go one for one.

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<v Speaker 2>You go first.

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<v Speaker 1>So the first one we've got here is words of affirmation.

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<v Speaker 1>So that is very much expressing your love with words

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<v Speaker 1>that build your partner or your loved ones up and

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<v Speaker 1>make them feel appreciated.

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<v Speaker 2>They don't have to be complicated.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes the shortest and simplest phrases can be the most effective.

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<v Speaker 1>But think things like always making sure to message a

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<v Speaker 1>person or say something to them when you see them,

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<v Speaker 1>that sort of thing. Words of affirmation I also find

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<v Speaker 1>personally with when this was my love language and people

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<v Speaker 1>who I know this is their love language. It's not

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<v Speaker 1>normally short phrases. It does tend to be quite the

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<v Speaker 1>lengthy paragraphs or things like that, just really trying to

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<v Speaker 1>express themselves and how much they love you with their words.

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<v Speaker 2>See one of.

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<v Speaker 1>Tim's is words of affirmation, but he's like, he doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>want the long he just wants the I love you

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<v Speaker 1>wow or I'm so proud of you yeah, And I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so mean.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, but you know I love you all right, guys.

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<v Speaker 2>So the next one, which is my Fair.

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<v Speaker 1>Song, is a good one. Acts of service. Basically, I

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<v Speaker 1>just want you to do shit for me. So acts

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<v Speaker 1>of service is when your partner or your loved ones

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<v Speaker 1>might do just basically think actions speak louder than words,

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<v Speaker 1>So they'll either do something that relieves you of stress

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<v Speaker 1>or helps you in some way, or is somethink. It

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't even have to be a big thing. It's usually

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<v Speaker 1>small things, like it's things for me, but it's just

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<v Speaker 1>in a requirement that I was meant.

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<v Speaker 2>To do that you do for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like they know that you're supposed to cook that night,

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<v Speaker 1>but they just cook because they know you're at work late,

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<v Speaker 1>or yeah, do a load of laundry, that sort of stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>For me. When I think of acts of service as well,

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<v Speaker 1>because it's high up on my list, is if someone

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<v Speaker 1>like knew I had to go to the store to

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<v Speaker 1>get something but I was really busy that day and

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.600
<v Speaker 1>went and got it and brought it home, Yes, I'd.

0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:30.439
<v Speaker 2>Be like, oh, acts.

0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:33.560
<v Speaker 1>Of service is my top one too. And I was

0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:37.439
<v Speaker 1>explaining to Tim, for example, if I've told you I've

0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.280
<v Speaker 1>had a really stressful day and I'm like, you know,

0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.800
<v Speaker 1>feeling really down or something like that, like coming home

0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:47.320
<v Speaker 1>and he's run a bath for me, Like could.

0:12:47.200 --> 0:12:49.680
<v Speaker 2>I thought I was gonna say a bath for you.

0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:51.400
<v Speaker 2>It's like so.

0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:53.079
<v Speaker 1>Funny because I like said that to him and he

0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:54.640
<v Speaker 1>was like, I just never would have thought of that,

0:12:56.360 --> 0:12:58.559
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, well, thank god we had this conversation.

0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:04.120
<v Speaker 1>And also another big thing too is something For example,

0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 1>Tim always cooks dinner, but.

0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.440
<v Speaker 2>Which is amazing. That is amazing. He always cooks dinner.

0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:13.520
<v Speaker 1>I fed Ivy, But something that happens is I always

0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:18.079
<v Speaker 1>have to tell him to start, So I always be like, Babe,

0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm feeding Ivy, do you want to start dinner?

0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:21.760
<v Speaker 2>So we're you know, eating at the same time. A

0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 2>bah blah blah.

0:13:22.800 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, it would just be nice if I

0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:26.000
<v Speaker 1>didn't have to ask you.

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like if he just started making dinner, correct, I

0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:29.520
<v Speaker 2>love that?

0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay, You're going to he loves herd Access service Number

0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:37.000
<v Speaker 1>three is receiving gifts. So the receiving gifts love language

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 1>isn't necessarily materialistic. It just means that a meaningful or

0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:45.320
<v Speaker 1>thoughtful gift makes you or your partner feel loved and appreciated,

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 1>something as simple as picking up a pint of their

0:13:47.880 --> 0:13:50.200
<v Speaker 1>favorite ice cream after a long work week can make

0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:51.000
<v Speaker 1>a huge impact.

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:56.120
<v Speaker 2>I really love this one. Yeah, I feel like that's

0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:56.800
<v Speaker 2>your gift.

0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.240
<v Speaker 1>I feel like that's your love language of how you

0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>show it to be. As I said to a tear,

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:03.319
<v Speaker 1>she's only worked for me for like three months. I've

0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.640
<v Speaker 1>never received so many gifts of my wife. I wouldn't

0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.400
<v Speaker 1>even think about it, please said, and I was like, shit, yeah,

0:14:09.480 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 1>probably need a calm down. No, but like so sweet,

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Like I remember when you first started work, you got

0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:17.440
<v Speaker 1>me the diffuser. Yeah, like the what are the little

0:14:17.480 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 1>sticks called?

0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:20.760
<v Speaker 2>There's a diffusal one, but incense is that?

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so you got the me those which are like

0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.200
<v Speaker 1>so sweet for my offers. And then like I remember

0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:29.160
<v Speaker 1>from South Africa, you got me this like cute little draft.

0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:31.560
<v Speaker 2>And then your mom bought.

0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:37.520
<v Speaker 1>My family likes giving gift tears. Mom bought Ivy the

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:41.400
<v Speaker 1>cutest little hat that has like a giraffe and her name.

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:43.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, guys, I got to show your photo

0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:44.680
<v Speaker 1>of it because it's so cute.

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:48.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll put it. I'll get a tear the photos and

0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:49.720
<v Speaker 2>then I'll know my Ivy.

0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.840
<v Speaker 1>I feel like you've got me something else your birthday gift.

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh oh my god, mate doesn't know you can see

0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:56.920
<v Speaker 1>gifts are like.

0:14:57.040 --> 0:15:01.920
<v Speaker 2>Law and Wife, like a tea. This beautiful. It's like

0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:03.400
<v Speaker 2>it's not digitally drawn.

0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I to say, she hasn't like hand no, no, but

0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.880
<v Speaker 1>it's like an artist has drawn a photo of me

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 1>and Ivy together and we're both wearing our like LSKD

0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Rise tops and it's oh my, it's the sweetest thing

0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>I've ever received.

0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 2>That's actually so glad.

0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Personalized gifts where I know the person has put a

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 1>lot of thought into it, yeah, are like they're like

0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.760
<v Speaker 1>my soft spot. Yeah, it's like so sweet.

0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:27.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad.

0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.520
<v Speaker 1>That's like I remember Jamie actually got me one Christmas

0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:35.400
<v Speaker 1>photo of Barren Wolf hand drawing and I was like, oh,

0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 1>like before I had Ivy because they're like my baby yeah,

0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:40.280
<v Speaker 1>and I was like that's so cute.

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So the next one is quality time.

0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:47.560
<v Speaker 2>I love this one. So quality time is just like.

0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:50.680
<v Speaker 1>When there's like, you know, no tvee that it's like

0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 1>you have their undivided attention and it doesn't even matter

0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:57.440
<v Speaker 1>what you guys do. You just like love being in

0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:58.040
<v Speaker 1>their presence.

0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:58.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:04.000
<v Speaker 1>And then last one physical touch. So again this doesn't

0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.960
<v Speaker 1>have to be essensual sexual.

0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:09.360
<v Speaker 2>No, this is literally.

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 1>Just like intimate, so it might be like holding hands,

0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.520
<v Speaker 1>having an embrace. Like I have girlfriends who you could

0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:19.240
<v Speaker 1>tell physical touch would be one of their love language

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:22.480
<v Speaker 1>because they're just like, you know, really lovey. Yes, yeah,

0:16:22.760 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 1>love that aspect. And I think even physical touch comes

0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:30.320
<v Speaker 1>down to just like being physically in that person's presence,

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 1>or like like sitting a little bit closer together and

0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:33.640
<v Speaker 1>the little things.

0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:35.520
<v Speaker 2>Like that, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:38.040
<v Speaker 1>So the whole thing, guys is if you don't know

0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.880
<v Speaker 1>your partner's love language, you're probably trying to show them

0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 1>love of how you want them to show you love,

0:16:45.120 --> 0:16:47.720
<v Speaker 1>which may not be their love language, so you may

0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.360
<v Speaker 1>get not the best response. Yeah. And I think this

0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:53.120
<v Speaker 1>is why it's so important as well, because this is

0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:56.280
<v Speaker 1>gonna be a bit brutal. But if someone's love language

0:16:56.320 --> 0:16:58.520
<v Speaker 1>is words of affirmation and you're just buying them all

0:16:58.600 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 1>these presents, they're not.

0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Going to care, yes, like it exactly waste.

0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:05.919
<v Speaker 1>It's a waste of your time and your money. Like

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:08.400
<v Speaker 1>you might as well put that time into writing them

0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:12.320
<v Speaker 1>a letter and that will just light them up way

0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.200
<v Speaker 1>more than your presence would.

0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:15.639
<v Speaker 2>Yes. Yeah.

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:19.760
<v Speaker 1>And also the great thing about this is like me

0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:23.199
<v Speaker 1>and Tim had this very open conversation about it, and

0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:28.320
<v Speaker 1>I kind of realized I hadn't been showing my love

0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.840
<v Speaker 1>to him because I just didn't know if that makes sense.

0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:35.720
<v Speaker 2>And now that I know, I'm like, oh, this is

0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:37.199
<v Speaker 2>how to do it. Yeah, this is how to do it.

0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 1>So well, let's get into our love languages a tr okay, guys.

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:47.719
<v Speaker 1>So my results thirty three percent acts of service. Wow,

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:50.520
<v Speaker 1>I want you to do shit for me? No? Well,

0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.439
<v Speaker 1>I think And this is the interesting thing too, is

0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I think my love language has changed over the years.

0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:58.120
<v Speaker 2>Would you say yours has?

0:17:58.240 --> 0:17:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:17:58.480 --> 0:17:59.120
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely?

0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:01.800
<v Speaker 1>And I don't think this ever used to be this,

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:08.200
<v Speaker 1>But because I've turned into such a busy gl for example,

0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:11.920
<v Speaker 1>I and especially being a mum, I often and feeling

0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:16.560
<v Speaker 1>quite stressed and overwhelmed. So when someone takes something off

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:20.360
<v Speaker 1>my plate or they do something that I'm like without

0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:25.359
<v Speaker 1>me asking them, it's like such a relief and such

0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 1>a like oh thank you, Like that is that's so thoughtful?

0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:31.080
<v Speaker 1>Whereas you know what's really and okay. So then my

0:18:31.200 --> 0:18:34.080
<v Speaker 1>second is words of affirmation.

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:35.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh would you have got that?

0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:39.719
<v Speaker 1>I would not have guessed that really, Yeah, I just

0:18:39.760 --> 0:18:43.040
<v Speaker 1>feel like you would be which you kind of are

0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:45.399
<v Speaker 1>because acts of services first, but I would have pegged

0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:48.160
<v Speaker 1>you more as a person that's like, I literally don't

0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:50.439
<v Speaker 1>care what you say, just show me.

0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:52.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know.

0:18:53.320 --> 0:18:55.679
<v Speaker 1>I think it's like the inner child in me, just

0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.159
<v Speaker 1>like yeah, like mom.

0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:03.440
<v Speaker 2>Just say I like, no joke. I think it is well.

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:07.399
<v Speaker 1>I think like the words of affirmation for example, you

0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:10.520
<v Speaker 1>know Tim coming up to me after a hard day

0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.080
<v Speaker 1>of work, Yeah, after he's run me a bath and

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.840
<v Speaker 1>being like, oh, baby, works so hard, I'm so.

0:19:16.800 --> 0:19:17.320
<v Speaker 2>Proud of you.

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh that and anyway makes like the stressful day worth it. Yeah,

0:19:21.000 --> 0:19:25.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like anything for you, babe, you know, like yeah,

0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 1>to notice that and to express that to me, I

0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.200
<v Speaker 1>think is really nice. And I think also like when

0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 1>you have friends who do send you I love random

0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 1>messages from friends.

0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:36.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't think I've ever get it.

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:42.000
<v Speaker 1>But for all my friends, I don't think any of

0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:44.680
<v Speaker 1>them will listen. But I don't know a text from

0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:46.640
<v Speaker 1>a friend who's just like, you're doing you a good

0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:50.359
<v Speaker 1>job or I was thinking of today. Actually, I do

0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:52.840
<v Speaker 1>have a girlfriend who does this all the time. Sasha,

0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:55.600
<v Speaker 1>one of my girlfriends who's a new mum. She will

0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:59.440
<v Speaker 1>randomly send me messages literally just going on a rant

0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 1>of how much he loves me. Oh that's so sweet,

0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.119
<v Speaker 1>and I just like, I'm like, it just gets me

0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:07.280
<v Speaker 1>in the fields, and I'm like, she did not have

0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:10.280
<v Speaker 1>to do that. That's actually she's also the friend who

0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:14.000
<v Speaker 1>randomly brings me brownies to the office a tea, which

0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:19.000
<v Speaker 1>is acts of service. That is, she knows so words

0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:23.000
<v Speaker 1>of affirmation and like, for example, I do totally have

0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:25.240
<v Speaker 1>like a thing with I love when my parents say

0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:28.320
<v Speaker 1>they're proud of me and you know, stuff like that.

0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:32.560
<v Speaker 1>Then my third twenty three percent is quality time love.

0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:36.480
<v Speaker 1>So obviously quality time with you know, Tim and Ivy

0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:38.800
<v Speaker 1>and friends. Like I remember for my birthday this year,

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:43.760
<v Speaker 1>I had lunch with literally like one or two friends

0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:47.040
<v Speaker 1>and I said to them, on previous years, I've done

0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:49.199
<v Speaker 1>it with like my whole group of girlfriends as like

0:20:49.240 --> 0:20:51.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, eight or ten of us, and this year

0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:54.080
<v Speaker 1>I was just like I sent a text to like

0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:56.840
<v Speaker 1>my closest girlfriends. Well actually it was only the other

0:20:57.160 --> 0:20:59.439
<v Speaker 1>the people who like asked what I was doing, and

0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:01.439
<v Speaker 1>I just said, oh, like I'm keen to do a

0:21:01.440 --> 0:21:04.479
<v Speaker 1>little you know, a lunch or something, but I just

0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:06.440
<v Speaker 1>want it to be super low key and.

0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:08.480
<v Speaker 2>I just want to like chat to you guys.

0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:11.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't want to you know, take photos of

0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:15.439
<v Speaker 1>our you know, fucking lunch or you know, it be

0:21:15.480 --> 0:21:18.199
<v Speaker 1>a thing, or there be too many people so I

0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:19.840
<v Speaker 1>can't have like a deep conversation.

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah that when you have to do that like sort

0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:22.840
<v Speaker 2>of circling around.

0:21:22.920 --> 0:21:26.000
<v Speaker 1>Ye, no, Like I wasn't interested in that. I was like,

0:21:26.080 --> 0:21:28.560
<v Speaker 1>I literally just want to talk one on one with

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:31.280
<v Speaker 1>like one or two people. Let's have a deep convo

0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:34.359
<v Speaker 1>because that fills out my cup. Yeah, I love that,

0:21:34.640 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 1>and I often do love doing things with friends one

0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 1>on one rather than a group. Yeah, one hundred percent.

0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:44.720
<v Speaker 1>So I can get like I recently just did a

0:21:44.760 --> 0:21:48.760
<v Speaker 1>bestie weekend with my girlfriend Licinda, who I've literally known

0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:52.200
<v Speaker 1>since I was thirteen, and we said because she's the same,

0:21:52.240 --> 0:21:54.080
<v Speaker 1>and we were like, oh my god, it's actually just

0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:57.679
<v Speaker 1>so nice to like get onto that deeper level with someone.

0:21:57.680 --> 0:21:59.320
<v Speaker 1>Because also I feel like when you get older, you

0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:02.680
<v Speaker 1>have like less time, and so it does tend to.

0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Feel a bit like surface level.

0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:06.560
<v Speaker 1>So like quality time for me is huge, and also

0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:10.639
<v Speaker 1>like quality time I guess with Tim, like when Tim,

0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:14.720
<v Speaker 1>he can just be a bit of a scatter brain.

0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:18.200
<v Speaker 1>So like we'll be sitting down, you know, having dinner

0:22:18.280 --> 0:22:20.680
<v Speaker 1>or something, and he'll just like pick up his phone

0:22:20.680 --> 0:22:23.520
<v Speaker 1>because you know, an Airbnb message comes up and he

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:26.439
<v Speaker 1>feels like he has to reply straight away, or like

0:22:26.520 --> 0:22:29.760
<v Speaker 1>he'll literally having conversation with Tim and he'll just like

0:22:29.840 --> 0:22:33.160
<v Speaker 1>walk away and do a job what like as he's

0:22:33.200 --> 0:22:36.240
<v Speaker 1>talking to me, but like he's just like thinking of

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:39.520
<v Speaker 1>other things. Yeah, and to me, like it needs to be.

0:22:39.680 --> 0:22:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I feel like my cup is full when it literally

0:22:42.280 --> 0:22:45.879
<v Speaker 1>lets one or one it and I have his undivided attention,

0:22:46.000 --> 0:22:48.240
<v Speaker 1>which you know, I had this conversation with him, and

0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:52.000
<v Speaker 1>then my foreth one is physical touch. But that was

0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:55.000
<v Speaker 1>only seventeen percent. But in saying that, you know, I

0:22:55.080 --> 0:22:57.520
<v Speaker 1>guess how to fill up my own cup is I

0:22:57.600 --> 0:22:59.840
<v Speaker 1>get a massage because I just.

0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:04.480
<v Speaker 2>I I love it. I love it.

0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:07.800
<v Speaker 1>And then receiving gifts came in at zero percent.

0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:09.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh, we love a good serial.

0:23:10.440 --> 0:23:13.840
<v Speaker 1>And honestly, I think gifts used to be one of

0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:17.199
<v Speaker 1>my top love languages back in the day. And I

0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:20.400
<v Speaker 1>think it's because now if I want anything, I.

0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:22.680
<v Speaker 2>Just gone by it myself.

0:23:22.920 --> 0:23:25.600
<v Speaker 1>Fair Like, I just gone by it myself because I

0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:29.119
<v Speaker 1>used to get really annoyed because Tim wouldn't buy me

0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:32.040
<v Speaker 1>like what I wanted, and he wouldn't like listen to

0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:33.880
<v Speaker 1>the thing I wanted, and then like on the birthday,

0:23:33.880 --> 0:23:35.720
<v Speaker 1>buy me what I wanted. And we used to get

0:23:35.760 --> 0:23:39.639
<v Speaker 1>in fines over this, and so now I literally just

0:23:39.880 --> 0:23:42.840
<v Speaker 1>buy anything I want for myself as soon as you

0:23:42.840 --> 0:23:44.439
<v Speaker 1>want it, as soon as I want it, and I

0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:46.160
<v Speaker 1>then am just like I don't even have to worry

0:23:46.160 --> 0:23:50.160
<v Speaker 1>about having this watch. So in saying that, though, for example,

0:23:50.440 --> 0:23:52.800
<v Speaker 1>I said before, when I receive gifts that I know

0:23:52.920 --> 0:23:56.680
<v Speaker 1>the person has like really thought about it, it's special

0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:59.119
<v Speaker 1>to me. But I feel like sometimes that's more like

0:23:59.160 --> 0:24:02.840
<v Speaker 1>you appreciate the quality time that was spent into getting

0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:07.240
<v Speaker 1>that gift. Yeah, exactly, so gift, yeah, like them going

0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:11.879
<v Speaker 1>to the EFIC the act of service. True, oh guys,

0:24:11.960 --> 0:24:15.080
<v Speaker 1>just active service. And so okay, I'll quickly go through

0:24:15.119 --> 0:24:18.199
<v Speaker 1>TIMS really quickly, and then I'll tell you my conversation. So, yeah,

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:21.520
<v Speaker 1>Tim's thirty three percent physical touch.

0:24:22.080 --> 0:24:25.000
<v Speaker 2>Whoa yeah, and yours is seventeen Yeah.

0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:27.879
<v Speaker 1>Then he next his quality time at twenty nine percent,

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:30.760
<v Speaker 1>so we're kind of similar with that, and then words

0:24:30.760 --> 0:24:34.640
<v Speaker 1>of affirmation were twenty six percent which again we're similar

0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:38.480
<v Speaker 1>acts of service. For him ten percent, didn't care about

0:24:38.520 --> 0:24:40.640
<v Speaker 1>acts because he goes, I know, you.

0:24:40.640 --> 0:24:42.720
<v Speaker 2>Don't have time to do anything for me, and I.

0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:46.719
<v Speaker 1>Feel so bad and he that is so sweet, I know,

0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:48.720
<v Speaker 1>but he's also like, I'm just so happy to do

0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:51.240
<v Speaker 1>it myself. Yeah, and then gifts at three percent, so

0:24:51.240 --> 0:24:53.959
<v Speaker 1>he's not worried about gifts either. Wo because again he

0:24:54.400 --> 0:24:56.000
<v Speaker 1>and he's been like this from the start. If he

0:24:56.000 --> 0:24:57.399
<v Speaker 1>wants something, he just goes and buys it.

0:24:57.560 --> 0:24:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:24:57.840 --> 0:25:00.600
<v Speaker 1>He doesn't care about people like going to the episode

0:25:00.600 --> 0:25:01.000
<v Speaker 1>for him.

0:25:01.080 --> 0:25:01.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:25:01.640 --> 0:25:04.400
<v Speaker 1>So we had this conversation and I was so surprised

0:25:04.400 --> 0:25:07.040
<v Speaker 1>because I don't think I would have got his physical

0:25:07.160 --> 0:25:10.800
<v Speaker 1>touch and so interesting. I said to him, like, what

0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:17.640
<v Speaker 1>do you want from me? And I was like whoa

0:25:17.760 --> 0:25:19.600
<v Speaker 1>And he's like, no, not sexually.

0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:23.560
<v Speaker 2>We were all thinking it. It's I don't want to

0:25:23.560 --> 0:25:28.440
<v Speaker 2>have sex more. Basically, should you do that thirty days challenge?

0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:28.520
<v Speaker 1>Me?

0:25:28.960 --> 0:25:32.399
<v Speaker 2>Should we do the thirty days? It's like a TikTok challenge.

0:25:32.440 --> 0:25:36.240
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that, didn't you know, But like a

0:25:36.400 --> 0:25:40.320
<v Speaker 1>young people TikTok why they need an intimacy. That's so true,

0:25:40.320 --> 0:25:42.440
<v Speaker 1>But it's because we're so obsessed with like technology in

0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:44.120
<v Speaker 1>our phone and it's all the big thing anyway too.

0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 2>Tim was like, no, not sexually.

0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:49.600
<v Speaker 1>Tim was like, for example, he's like, I'd love if

0:25:49.640 --> 0:25:51.639
<v Speaker 1>you came home and like the first thing you do

0:25:51.800 --> 0:25:54.800
<v Speaker 1>is like come up and hug me. Oh that's sweet,

0:25:55.119 --> 0:25:56.199
<v Speaker 1>And he's like, don't mean to.

0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:01.440
<v Speaker 2>Say. In my head, I was like, what do I do?

0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:03.240
<v Speaker 2>Do you just like walk in thousands of down?

0:26:03.640 --> 0:26:03.800
<v Speaker 1>No?

0:26:03.880 --> 0:26:05.159
<v Speaker 2>I think I go straight to Ivy?

0:26:05.440 --> 0:26:08.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, probably, Well that makes I'm sure you probably

0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:09.080
<v Speaker 1>used to go in.

0:26:09.040 --> 0:26:12.240
<v Speaker 2>And hug him straight away. Yeah, I don't know before Ivy.

0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:14.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't remember before I but he's.

0:26:14.440 --> 0:26:16.439
<v Speaker 1>Like, you know, just to come in and like hug me,

0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 1>or he's like you know, if you're in public, like

0:26:19.560 --> 0:26:21.480
<v Speaker 1>holding my or.

0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:24.119
<v Speaker 2>He's like also just being like lovey.

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:27.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like just like a little bit obsessed with him. Yes, yes,

0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:31.800
<v Speaker 1>which I just was like, You're like, I don't get it.

0:26:32.600 --> 0:26:37.280
<v Speaker 1>I know, because I'm like that's just so weird. But

0:26:37.400 --> 0:26:40.359
<v Speaker 1>it's like so good to know now because I'm like easy,

0:26:40.440 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 1>You're just mate.

0:26:41.359 --> 0:26:44.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, acually is so easy. But my god, you know

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:45.119
<v Speaker 2>what I did this morning?

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 1>So I wake up and I meditated my bed. I

0:26:49.400 --> 0:26:51.440
<v Speaker 1>put my like, I literally turned my lum off. I

0:26:51.480 --> 0:26:53.199
<v Speaker 1>put my headphones on, and I like lay there and

0:26:53.240 --> 0:26:55.440
<v Speaker 1>meditate because I'm like too lazy.

0:26:55.160 --> 0:26:56.720
<v Speaker 2>To get up to my meditation chair.

0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:59.000
<v Speaker 1>It's also a bit cold anyway. Yeah, so what I

0:26:59.000 --> 0:27:01.080
<v Speaker 1>did this morning, Tim's always still sleep beside me. I

0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:02.960
<v Speaker 1>also don't want to wake him. Yeah, what I did

0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:05.560
<v Speaker 1>this morning was like I put my headphones on, put

0:27:05.600 --> 0:27:08.600
<v Speaker 1>my thing on, and then under the covers, I reached

0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:13.200
<v Speaker 1>and grabbed his hand and we meditated and we love productive.

0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:19.840
<v Speaker 2>Col I was just like, I'm gonna kill two birds one.

0:27:23.160 --> 0:27:27.680
<v Speaker 1>My god, I didn't think of it, so I didn't

0:27:27.680 --> 0:27:28.080
<v Speaker 1>have to do.

0:27:28.040 --> 0:27:32.439
<v Speaker 2>It after And this is what loved, Like we're just

0:27:32.520 --> 0:27:36.239
<v Speaker 2>about how to manipulate your part to thinking no.

0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:38.000
<v Speaker 1>But I could just tell he loved it because then

0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:39.280
<v Speaker 1>he stroked my hand.

0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:44.080
<v Speaker 2>And I thought this was so nice. That is nice

0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:45.399
<v Speaker 2>and it's not hard for you to do.

0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:47.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And like when I left, I was I gave

0:27:47.840 --> 0:27:51.800
<v Speaker 1>her my heart because I just like say bye, I'm

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:55.600
<v Speaker 1>glad you're slivy and I always like hugging kiss her

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:57.679
<v Speaker 1>and I probably don't do the same to him, like

0:27:57.720 --> 0:28:00.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm nice to him. I just I could probably make

0:28:00.280 --> 0:28:02.400
<v Speaker 1>more of an effort. Yeah, but yeah, I didn't know.

0:28:02.680 --> 0:28:05.760
<v Speaker 1>And then obviously the quality time, like we're both had

0:28:05.760 --> 0:28:07.600
<v Speaker 1>that and I explained to him like I'm like, get

0:28:07.640 --> 0:28:10.000
<v Speaker 1>the fuck off your phone. I don't care about it,

0:28:10.680 --> 0:28:13.919
<v Speaker 1>Like make them way. We talked about that, and a

0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:17.679
<v Speaker 1>huge thing we spoke about is, for instance, like my

0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:20.879
<v Speaker 1>biggest pet peeve is you know, team's at home with

0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Ivy your day, and so I'll come home and sometimes

0:28:25.760 --> 0:28:27.640
<v Speaker 1>I come home and he's like sitting on the counch

0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:30.719
<v Speaker 1>with Ivy watching one of her shows and then like

0:28:30.800 --> 0:28:33.240
<v Speaker 1>the washing's not done or like oh yeah, you know

0:28:33.400 --> 0:28:34.200
<v Speaker 1>something that.

0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:35.320
<v Speaker 2>I have to then do.

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:38.680
<v Speaker 1>But I just, like I explained to him, when I

0:28:38.720 --> 0:28:41.120
<v Speaker 1>come home, I would love if we had an hour

0:28:41.240 --> 0:28:44.280
<v Speaker 1>of family time where there's no phone, there's no TV.

0:28:44.520 --> 0:28:47.560
<v Speaker 1>It's just us catching up or talking or doing something.

0:28:47.640 --> 0:28:50.400
<v Speaker 1>But often I have to come home and then do

0:28:50.480 --> 0:28:54.000
<v Speaker 1>a job that you probably could have done during the day. Yeah,

0:28:54.040 --> 0:28:57.239
<v Speaker 1>And he did acknowledge that, so that was like a

0:28:57.280 --> 0:28:59.400
<v Speaker 1>good thing. And then also we're going to start just

0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:02.920
<v Speaker 1>planning or I also said to him, because he's like, oh,

0:29:03.000 --> 0:29:05.080
<v Speaker 1>like I want to have more like one on one

0:29:05.120 --> 0:29:07.640
<v Speaker 1>time with you, And I was like, well, then like

0:29:07.760 --> 0:29:10.760
<v Speaker 1>on a Thursday, because we've got like, you know, babysitters

0:29:10.800 --> 0:29:13.479
<v Speaker 1>that we will use at various times because yeah, more

0:29:13.560 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 1>randomly go to golf on a Thursday.

0:29:15.680 --> 0:29:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh literally, get home and he's like, oh, I just

0:29:17.080 --> 0:29:21.520
<v Speaker 2>got a babysitters. Not a joke anyway, that's a whole

0:29:21.560 --> 0:29:22.040
<v Speaker 2>other story.

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:25.400
<v Speaker 1>But I'm like, you could organize the babysitter and be like, Babe,

0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 1>we're doing date night.

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I've got a babysitter. Yeah, I love that, do you.

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:30.480
<v Speaker 1>I mean, if he's the one who's like I wouldn't

0:29:30.520 --> 0:29:34.720
<v Speaker 1>quality time like kind of taking that initiative. Yes, I

0:29:34.760 --> 0:29:36.960
<v Speaker 1>also said the bath thing, but like I really don't

0:29:36.960 --> 0:29:41.000
<v Speaker 1>think that's gonna happen. Surely if you can hold his hand,

0:29:41.080 --> 0:29:42.120
<v Speaker 1>he can run your buck.

0:29:44.280 --> 0:29:45.960
<v Speaker 2>And he's a good taker turning it down.

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:49.120
<v Speaker 1>And also I think like a big thing for him

0:29:49.400 --> 0:29:51.680
<v Speaker 1>of words of affirmation is I probably do need to

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 1>be a bit more.

0:29:52.480 --> 0:29:54.680
<v Speaker 2>Like I love that you did the washingt today.

0:29:54.920 --> 0:29:58.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, those small things of well, I even like

0:29:58.800 --> 0:30:02.080
<v Speaker 1>I probably would want to say, you know more stuff

0:30:02.120 --> 0:30:04.880
<v Speaker 1>like you're such a good dad, Yeah, you know, stuff

0:30:04.920 --> 0:30:06.920
<v Speaker 1>like that, like I do say it's not like I don't, yeah,

0:30:06.960 --> 0:30:09.160
<v Speaker 1>but being more intentional and like kind of doing that.

0:30:09.200 --> 0:30:12.640
<v Speaker 1>And I explain to him, I guess the reason why

0:30:13.040 --> 0:30:17.480
<v Speaker 1>we haven't, you know, I haven't sometimes done those things

0:30:17.560 --> 0:30:19.840
<v Speaker 1>is because you know, I'll get home and see that,

0:30:19.880 --> 0:30:22.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, the washing isn't done and they're fucking sitting

0:30:22.160 --> 0:30:22.720
<v Speaker 1>on the couch.

0:30:23.000 --> 0:30:24.640
<v Speaker 2>So then I feel resentful.

0:30:24.680 --> 0:30:26.600
<v Speaker 1>So I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking tell you your

0:30:26.640 --> 0:30:29.920
<v Speaker 1>good dad. And then because I come home and I'm

0:30:29.920 --> 0:30:32.480
<v Speaker 1>probably in a bit of a bad mood, he's probably like, oh,

0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:34.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to run the bath for you, and

0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:38.440
<v Speaker 1>like you can get in a funk, yeah, like a weird,

0:30:38.480 --> 0:30:43.040
<v Speaker 1>funky cycle because you didn't understand what the other person needs. Yeah,

0:30:43.080 --> 0:30:46.440
<v Speaker 1>and that's why it was literally such a good thing. Guys,

0:30:46.520 --> 0:30:50.000
<v Speaker 1>with your partner or your friends or even yourself, do

0:30:50.080 --> 0:30:53.520
<v Speaker 1>this little quiz, know your love languages and have a

0:30:53.560 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 1>conversation about what would make you feel good and what

0:30:57.920 --> 0:31:01.640
<v Speaker 1>would the other person you know need, because it's just

0:31:01.640 --> 0:31:04.360
<v Speaker 1>so insightful. Yeah, so what's yours?

0:31:05.160 --> 0:31:08.480
<v Speaker 2>My number one at thirty seven percent, so actually quite high.

0:31:08.600 --> 0:31:14.600
<v Speaker 2>Now that's huge. Yeah. Good portion is quality time, and

0:31:14.880 --> 0:31:17.960
<v Speaker 2>I think we spend so much time? Is that why

0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:23.160
<v Speaker 2>you're obsessed? Why we're morphing to the same person.

0:31:25.200 --> 0:31:28.920
<v Speaker 1>Literally, And I think for me, that's just because what

0:31:28.960 --> 0:31:32.440
<v Speaker 1>I feel like personally, I look at as everybody's most

0:31:32.520 --> 0:31:37.920
<v Speaker 1>valuable kind of asset. So if someone takes the time

0:31:38.080 --> 0:31:41.440
<v Speaker 1>to like give me their undivided attention for a night

0:31:41.640 --> 0:31:44.400
<v Speaker 1>or a day or however long, I really appreciate it

0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:48.280
<v Speaker 1>because I understand how hard that can be. My next one,

0:31:48.400 --> 0:31:51.360
<v Speaker 1>so big jump down at twenty percent, is acts of service?

0:31:52.400 --> 0:31:53.000
<v Speaker 2>Interesting.

0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:53.760
<v Speaker 1>I love.

0:31:54.520 --> 0:31:57.200
<v Speaker 2>I love getting things done for me. It's the best. Yeah,

0:31:58.320 --> 0:31:59.160
<v Speaker 2>it's just so good.

0:31:59.280 --> 0:32:02.280
<v Speaker 1>Like what because I also would love to chat about,

0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:05.480
<v Speaker 1>for example, because you don't have a partner, what does

0:32:05.520 --> 0:32:09.040
<v Speaker 1>this look like for yourself or your friends? So like,

0:32:09.080 --> 0:32:12.000
<v Speaker 1>for example, go like with quality time, what would that

0:32:12.040 --> 0:32:15.160
<v Speaker 1>look like for yourself for your friends? It'd be like, Oh,

0:32:15.200 --> 0:32:16.880
<v Speaker 1>I did this with one of my friends a while ago.

0:32:17.000 --> 0:32:20.240
<v Speaker 1>We made pasta from scratch scratch. Oh I saw that,

0:32:20.400 --> 0:32:22.680
<v Speaker 1>yeah one night, and that meant a lot to me

0:32:22.680 --> 0:32:25.720
<v Speaker 1>because I'm like, this is actually time consuming. She actually

0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:28.400
<v Speaker 1>the act of service there. She went to the markets

0:32:28.440 --> 0:32:31.040
<v Speaker 1>that morning and got everything fresh. So I was like,

0:32:31.080 --> 0:32:33.480
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, this is so sweet. She went out

0:32:33.640 --> 0:32:35.640
<v Speaker 1>of her way to do that, and I didn't have

0:32:35.680 --> 0:32:37.960
<v Speaker 1>to bring anything and I just went there and we

0:32:38.000 --> 0:32:40.200
<v Speaker 1>had like the nicest night. We were bailey on our phone,

0:32:40.800 --> 0:32:42.080
<v Speaker 1>took a picture of the pastor at the end.

0:32:42.120 --> 0:32:43.040
<v Speaker 2>Then cute.

0:32:44.640 --> 0:32:47.320
<v Speaker 1>Needed but like just had a good catch up and

0:32:47.920 --> 0:32:51.600
<v Speaker 1>like you said, undivided attention, Like you got onto that

0:32:51.640 --> 0:32:53.800
<v Speaker 1>deeper level. And that's what I really liked doing with

0:32:53.840 --> 0:32:55.680
<v Speaker 1>my friends as well, because otherwise it's just like a

0:32:55.680 --> 0:32:58.040
<v Speaker 1>bit pointless, Like I don't want to sit there.

0:32:57.920 --> 0:33:01.680
<v Speaker 2>And be like, Hi, how are you? Yeah all the time. Yeah,

0:33:01.920 --> 0:33:03.040
<v Speaker 2>this weather's just great.

0:33:03.320 --> 0:33:12.240
<v Speaker 1>El Nina, Nina's coming, Oh my god, side joke.

0:33:12.360 --> 0:33:14.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:17.360
<v Speaker 1>And so for me, quality time is very much that

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:19.680
<v Speaker 1>if someone's like let's go for a drive, or let's

0:33:19.680 --> 0:33:22.160
<v Speaker 1>go out for the day or acts of service. When

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:24.480
<v Speaker 1>I was first year of UNI, one of my friends

0:33:24.480 --> 0:33:26.000
<v Speaker 1>would be like, do you have any errands you need

0:33:26.000 --> 0:33:28.880
<v Speaker 1>to run? Let's go run errands together today and she's

0:33:28.920 --> 0:33:30.440
<v Speaker 1>literally picked me up from my house and we do

0:33:30.480 --> 0:33:33.760
<v Speaker 1>a day of errands. I'm like, so cute, Yeah what

0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:37.320
<v Speaker 1>about yourself? So like for myself, yeah, I like to

0:33:37.400 --> 0:33:41.520
<v Speaker 1>give love to yourself for quality time, very much time alone,

0:33:41.640 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 1>like I tried to love time alone, like figure out

0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:49.520
<v Speaker 1>at some point during the week, I need time by

0:33:49.560 --> 0:33:52.520
<v Speaker 1>myself shut out from everyone. Whether that means I need

0:33:52.560 --> 0:33:54.520
<v Speaker 1>noise canceling headphones on in my room, or I go

0:33:54.560 --> 0:33:56.880
<v Speaker 1>for a walk or a drive or to the even

0:33:56.960 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 1>just to the shops by myself to walk around. I

0:33:59.000 --> 0:34:02.000
<v Speaker 1>quite enjoy, so I make sure I do that. Acts

0:34:02.000 --> 0:34:04.600
<v Speaker 1>of service for yourself can be a little bit hard,

0:34:05.280 --> 0:34:09.120
<v Speaker 1>but I would say prioritize what really means a lot

0:34:09.160 --> 0:34:12.600
<v Speaker 1>to you and see if you can even potentially prompt

0:34:12.680 --> 0:34:13.600
<v Speaker 1>someone around you.

0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:14.880
<v Speaker 2>To do that for you.

0:34:15.880 --> 0:34:19.239
<v Speaker 1>Well. Also, like I think acts of service would be,

0:34:19.320 --> 0:34:21.879
<v Speaker 1>for example, because that's my main one, and if I'm

0:34:21.960 --> 0:34:24.920
<v Speaker 1>thinking of like giving love to myself, it would the

0:34:25.000 --> 0:34:28.760
<v Speaker 1>act of service would be scheduling in a day where

0:34:29.239 --> 0:34:32.160
<v Speaker 1>it's actually funny because Cinder on the weekend said this,

0:34:32.320 --> 0:34:35.680
<v Speaker 1>like she's like, you need to schedule in a CEO day,

0:34:35.880 --> 0:34:38.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, what the fuck's app And she's like,

0:34:38.640 --> 0:34:40.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't know people using the coaching well because that's

0:34:41.000 --> 0:34:44.200
<v Speaker 1>what she does. But she's like, it's a day where

0:34:44.320 --> 0:34:48.480
<v Speaker 1>as you know, a CEO of your own business and

0:34:48.520 --> 0:34:52.200
<v Speaker 1>your own time, you schedule in time where you yet

0:34:52.239 --> 0:34:53.640
<v Speaker 1>to do whatever you want.

0:34:54.120 --> 0:34:55.319
<v Speaker 2>So you don't love that.

0:34:55.600 --> 0:34:58.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so she's like it could be your you know,

0:34:58.640 --> 0:35:01.200
<v Speaker 1>you tell the team I'm out of office and that

0:35:01.360 --> 0:35:03.800
<v Speaker 1>day you like go get coffee, you go for a swim,

0:35:03.880 --> 0:35:04.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe you do.

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:05.920
<v Speaker 2>A little bit of work, but it's.

0:35:05.760 --> 0:35:09.400
<v Speaker 1>Really like for you filling up your own cup. So,

0:35:09.560 --> 0:35:14.560
<v Speaker 1>for example, something I thought is like something I do. Guys,

0:35:14.840 --> 0:35:17.640
<v Speaker 1>I've literally been trying to have I've told everyone that

0:35:17.680 --> 0:35:20.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm having every second Friday off and then I.

0:35:20.880 --> 0:35:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Just never do it ever ever, I just work.

0:35:24.280 --> 0:35:26.640
<v Speaker 1>So something that I thought for myself is you know,

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:30.320
<v Speaker 1>me trying to schedule in that friday off for myself

0:35:30.760 --> 0:35:34.160
<v Speaker 1>of actually committing to it, and that would be like

0:35:34.280 --> 0:35:38.520
<v Speaker 1>showing myself I think I'm important and I'm worth the

0:35:38.600 --> 0:35:43.200
<v Speaker 1>quality time for myself. Yeah. So in even a big

0:35:43.360 --> 0:35:46.279
<v Speaker 1>you know, active service and quality time sort of thing.

0:35:46.320 --> 0:35:49.439
<v Speaker 1>If that's one of your love languages, is being really

0:35:49.440 --> 0:35:51.160
<v Speaker 1>strict with your boundaries and schedule.

0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:53.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's a huge one. That's very hard to do.

0:35:54.120 --> 0:35:56.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, very hard and something I'm trying to work on

0:35:56.320 --> 0:35:59.760
<v Speaker 1>where it's like, I know, I get burnt out easy

0:36:00.120 --> 0:36:03.040
<v Speaker 1>because you know, if I'm not like strict to my time,

0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:05.839
<v Speaker 1>so like you know, trying to really like schedule things

0:36:05.880 --> 0:36:08.440
<v Speaker 1>in and yeah, be strict. Yeah, that's what I kind

0:36:08.440 --> 0:36:13.280
<v Speaker 1>of think for that act of services boundaries and making

0:36:13.280 --> 0:36:15.680
<v Speaker 1>sure you're scheduling your self care and all that time. Yeah,

0:36:15.760 --> 0:36:18.319
<v Speaker 1>and like scheduling self care and like maybe gym time,

0:36:18.520 --> 0:36:21.760
<v Speaker 1>and that's honoring it, yes, and honoring it and actually

0:36:21.800 --> 0:36:24.880
<v Speaker 1>doing it for yourself because you know that like future

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:28.879
<v Speaker 1>you will thank you. Yeah, even like I would say

0:36:28.960 --> 0:36:35.080
<v Speaker 1>investing in yourself like buying a course or buying something that.

0:36:35.239 --> 0:36:37.160
<v Speaker 2>Is for your future, for your future self.

0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that is the best act of service that you

0:36:39.719 --> 0:36:40.640
<v Speaker 1>can give yourself.

0:36:41.000 --> 0:36:44.720
<v Speaker 2>I love that. And then I had seventeen percent physical touch.

0:36:45.200 --> 0:36:50.960
<v Speaker 1>Interesting, I love. I'm also seventeen percent. Yeah, so it's

0:36:51.000 --> 0:36:55.160
<v Speaker 1>not up there. It's not really up there, I think

0:36:55.200 --> 0:36:57.880
<v Speaker 1>in this And obviously I would expect a lot of

0:36:57.880 --> 0:37:00.520
<v Speaker 1>this to shot for when I get a partner, but

0:37:00.840 --> 0:37:04.880
<v Speaker 1>currently mine doesn't. I wonder if mine will be honest,

0:37:06.000 --> 0:37:08.959
<v Speaker 1>but very much like making the effort to like hug

0:37:09.000 --> 0:37:11.640
<v Speaker 1>my family or my friends when I see them, throwse

0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:16.040
<v Speaker 1>little things for myself. I love getting a pedicule because

0:37:16.040 --> 0:37:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I love a good foot massart.

0:37:17.360 --> 0:37:21.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Yeah, that's probably my little physical touch

0:37:21.080 --> 0:37:22.360
<v Speaker 2>for myself. Yeah.

0:37:22.400 --> 0:37:26.520
<v Speaker 1>And then I have seventeen percent receiving gifts. Yeah. I

0:37:26.600 --> 0:37:28.359
<v Speaker 1>just don't think it's not high because I'm a bit

0:37:28.400 --> 0:37:31.440
<v Speaker 1>impulsive when I buy stuff. If I want something else.

0:37:31.760 --> 0:37:34.960
<v Speaker 2>I'll find a way to get it, yeah.

0:37:35.320 --> 0:37:37.880
<v Speaker 1>Even if I have to sell stuff a marketplace. And

0:37:37.920 --> 0:37:40.360
<v Speaker 1>then my last one is words of affirmation at ten percent.

0:37:40.640 --> 0:37:42.480
<v Speaker 2>So interesting, you don't care.

0:37:42.760 --> 0:37:48.520
<v Speaker 1>No, And I probably probably just because and this might

0:37:48.600 --> 0:37:51.239
<v Speaker 1>sound mean or sad or whatever, but I've had too

0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:54.680
<v Speaker 1>many people tell me things and never follow through. So

0:37:54.840 --> 0:37:57.880
<v Speaker 1>when someone says something to me, I'm like, sure, okay,

0:37:58.920 --> 0:38:01.960
<v Speaker 1>and I just I'm like, don't tell me, show me.

0:38:02.120 --> 0:38:04.239
<v Speaker 1>Don't tell me show me, because I don't mean ten

0:38:04.280 --> 0:38:07.680
<v Speaker 1>times more than you ever telling me something. But for example,

0:38:08.320 --> 0:38:11.960
<v Speaker 1>me saying I'm proud of you, how would I show

0:38:12.000 --> 0:38:12.279
<v Speaker 1>that too?

0:38:12.640 --> 0:38:14.960
<v Speaker 2>No, yeah, you can't, that's what I mean.

0:38:15.080 --> 0:38:17.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So obviously it's in there a little bit. It's

0:38:17.400 --> 0:38:19.120
<v Speaker 1>in there a little bit. But I just feel like

0:38:19.760 --> 0:38:20.879
<v Speaker 1>for things like oh my.

0:38:20.760 --> 0:38:22.600
<v Speaker 2>Gosh, I love you, Oh my gosh, you're such a

0:38:22.600 --> 0:38:25.480
<v Speaker 2>good friend, it just doesn't hit me.

0:38:26.320 --> 0:38:29.560
<v Speaker 1>But it also was like that one hundred percent growing

0:38:29.640 --> 0:38:31.360
<v Speaker 1>up was my love language was words.

0:38:31.400 --> 0:38:32.040
<v Speaker 2>Interesting.

0:38:32.280 --> 0:38:35.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like I send the longest messages to my friends,

0:38:35.480 --> 0:38:37.520
<v Speaker 1>and if I'd made like a long message back, I'd

0:38:37.520 --> 0:38:40.120
<v Speaker 1>get a bit upset or maybe because of that, like yeah,

0:38:40.120 --> 0:38:44.279
<v Speaker 1>a bit like burnt from it. Yeah yeah, and I

0:38:44.320 --> 0:38:48.560
<v Speaker 1>think just realize or like in my eyes yeah, sorry,

0:38:48.600 --> 0:38:52.600
<v Speaker 1>you guys, someone doing something or showing something or taking

0:38:52.640 --> 0:38:56.160
<v Speaker 1>the time or putting thought into things just means so

0:38:56.280 --> 0:38:58.600
<v Speaker 1>much than anything anyone could ever say.

0:38:58.800 --> 0:39:00.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well that's I agree.

0:39:00.960 --> 0:39:03.439
<v Speaker 1>Well I'm similar with you know, acts of service. It's

0:39:03.440 --> 0:39:05.840
<v Speaker 1>like show me, Yeah, show me you're gonna do it,

0:39:05.880 --> 0:39:08.320
<v Speaker 1>don't just like you know, talk the talk, you to

0:39:08.360 --> 0:39:08.719
<v Speaker 1>walk the.

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Wall, and just so many people talk the talk.

0:39:11.160 --> 0:39:12.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh so training.

0:39:14.160 --> 0:39:19.320
<v Speaker 2>Me with anything? Oh all right, So well let's finish off.

0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:24.080
<v Speaker 1>This episode, yeah, with what we could do for ourselves.

0:39:24.160 --> 0:39:25.720
<v Speaker 2>So everyone, guys, go.

0:39:25.600 --> 0:39:28.959
<v Speaker 1>Take the tests. Also, if you take the tests, jump

0:39:29.000 --> 0:39:32.640
<v Speaker 1>in our dms. Let us not gus yeah or come

0:39:32.800 --> 0:39:35.560
<v Speaker 1>no way, come in the Facebook group and let's have

0:39:35.680 --> 0:39:37.480
<v Speaker 1>a group conversation about this.

0:39:37.640 --> 0:39:39.480
<v Speaker 2>We'll put up a thread. Come in the.

0:39:39.440 --> 0:39:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Facebook group, you know, screenshot show us your love languages

0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:46.000
<v Speaker 1>and then also tell us like what you do for

0:39:46.040 --> 0:39:48.480
<v Speaker 1>yourself and what you do for your partner, Because now

0:39:48.480 --> 0:39:51.120
<v Speaker 1>that I know Tim's is like physical touch, I'm even like,

0:39:51.719 --> 0:39:53.719
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, like I need to like make more

0:39:53.760 --> 0:39:56.920
<v Speaker 1>ways to give him love and quality time. That's easy,

0:39:57.200 --> 0:40:00.359
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, so I just would be really interested to know,

0:40:00.400 --> 0:40:03.360
<v Speaker 1>like what people do you know for their partners or

0:40:03.400 --> 0:40:05.520
<v Speaker 1>for themselves, for your.

0:40:05.400 --> 0:40:06.280
<v Speaker 2>Friends and family?

0:40:06.719 --> 0:40:10.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly. I made like my closest friends take this

0:40:10.880 --> 0:40:12.759
<v Speaker 1>when I first found out about it. I probably need

0:40:12.760 --> 0:40:14.839
<v Speaker 1>to get them to do it again, but just so

0:40:14.920 --> 0:40:16.839
<v Speaker 1>I would know in my head how to show them

0:40:16.920 --> 0:40:20.600
<v Speaker 1>love in ways they to be appreciated. So interesting, and

0:40:20.640 --> 0:40:22.520
<v Speaker 1>so do you kind of Taylor the way you do

0:40:22.560 --> 0:40:25.200
<v Speaker 1>things for each friend? Yeah, oh wow, you're such a

0:40:25.200 --> 0:40:26.160
<v Speaker 1>good friend. Thanks.

0:40:26.520 --> 0:40:27.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, now you know mine?

0:40:27.520 --> 0:40:33.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'll do Wait it's like, well, does it count

0:40:33.680 --> 0:40:40.040
<v Speaker 1>if you're getting paid? No, just do your job. That

0:40:40.680 --> 0:40:44.480
<v Speaker 1>would be great for me. All right, So quickly before

0:40:44.520 --> 0:40:48.600
<v Speaker 1>we finish, let's go through what we can do for ourselves,

0:40:49.040 --> 0:40:51.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, to show ourselves love.

0:40:51.080 --> 0:40:53.120
<v Speaker 2>Or even other people. So words of affirmation.

0:40:53.880 --> 0:40:57.040
<v Speaker 1>Write yourself a lovely letter and set yourself a calendar

0:40:57.080 --> 0:40:59.879
<v Speaker 1>reminder on when to open it, or you could send

0:40:59.880 --> 0:41:03.759
<v Speaker 1>you self an email and snooze it. If you're like

0:41:03.880 --> 0:41:08.920
<v Speaker 1>me and don't write a physical stuff. I love that,

0:41:09.160 --> 0:41:11.280
<v Speaker 1>or like write something to your future self.

0:41:11.640 --> 0:41:14.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or just like oh, have you ever seen those

0:41:14.320 --> 0:41:15.320
<v Speaker 2>open when letters?

0:41:15.560 --> 0:41:15.880
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:16.680
<v Speaker 2>Actually I have.

0:41:16.920 --> 0:41:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if you have time and you know there's some

0:41:20.239 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 1>milestones coming up, write yourself some open wind letters.

0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:24.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Cute. Yeah.

0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:30.279
<v Speaker 1>Also affirmations, like literally writing down affirmations and saying them.

0:41:30.400 --> 0:41:31.640
<v Speaker 2>This is going on a bit of a rent.

0:41:31.800 --> 0:41:34.280
<v Speaker 1>The other day, I was like reading a book about

0:41:35.000 --> 0:41:39.200
<v Speaker 1>self love. Actually it was Alexis's new book, which she's

0:41:39.239 --> 0:41:42.040
<v Speaker 1>gonna be on the podcast soon. Yeah, so stay tuned

0:41:42.080 --> 0:41:42.359
<v Speaker 1>for that.

0:41:42.480 --> 0:41:43.200
<v Speaker 2>It is exciting.

0:41:43.320 --> 0:41:45.919
<v Speaker 1>But she was saying like something that you can do

0:41:46.520 --> 0:41:51.239
<v Speaker 1>is parent yourself, whereas like, you know, think of yourself

0:41:51.280 --> 0:41:54.279
<v Speaker 1>as a child and it's like what would you want

0:41:54.320 --> 0:41:56.680
<v Speaker 1>to tell that child to make them feel loved?

0:41:57.440 --> 0:41:59.319
<v Speaker 2>Oh, and literally like.

0:41:59.239 --> 0:42:02.759
<v Speaker 1>A visual lie or writing down this and go through

0:42:02.760 --> 0:42:06.640
<v Speaker 1>that scenario. Because often we can think of ourselves like really,

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I guess be really hard on ourselves and be like, oh,

0:42:09.040 --> 0:42:11.239
<v Speaker 1>you're an idiot. You should have known this. But it's

0:42:11.239 --> 0:42:15.200
<v Speaker 1>like would you say that to your child or you know,

0:42:15.320 --> 0:42:18.560
<v Speaker 1>like baby, you yeah, and kind of TikTok trend where

0:42:18.600 --> 0:42:21.440
<v Speaker 1>it was like when you're saying mean things to yourself,

0:42:21.440 --> 0:42:23.160
<v Speaker 1>remember you're saying it also to her, and it was

0:42:23.239 --> 0:42:26.640
<v Speaker 1>pressed of you when exactly and then like going that

0:42:26.680 --> 0:42:30.120
<v Speaker 1>step further and like writing an affirmation, you know, to

0:42:30.160 --> 0:42:33.080
<v Speaker 1>your inner child and being like I am so proud

0:42:33.120 --> 0:42:35.239
<v Speaker 1>of you, like you're allowed to make mistakes and you

0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:36.560
<v Speaker 1>know you're still a good person.

0:42:36.760 --> 0:42:39.640
<v Speaker 2>I know, blah blah blah. And I actually did that for.

0:42:39.640 --> 0:42:41.719
<v Speaker 1>Myself the other day and it was very therapeutic.

0:42:41.880 --> 0:42:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Oh I love that.

0:42:43.840 --> 0:42:46.279
<v Speaker 1>Next one acts of service. We've kind of said this

0:42:46.440 --> 0:42:50.680
<v Speaker 1>already of like just thinking for your future self, like

0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:54.840
<v Speaker 1>being really strict on your schedule and time, because for example,

0:42:55.440 --> 0:42:58.680
<v Speaker 1>I guess for me, and this is I kind of

0:42:58.680 --> 0:43:00.680
<v Speaker 1>see acts of service and qualities time kind of mixed

0:43:00.719 --> 0:43:04.560
<v Speaker 1>together a little bit. But like the other night, I

0:43:04.680 --> 0:43:09.360
<v Speaker 1>actually like Tim was away at a Bucks and I

0:43:09.400 --> 0:43:11.160
<v Speaker 1>and he kind of went last minute. I didn't think

0:43:11.160 --> 0:43:13.279
<v Speaker 1>he was going on the Friday, and then he went

0:43:13.320 --> 0:43:16.759
<v Speaker 1>on the Friday, and I straight away was like, oh,

0:43:16.800 --> 0:43:18.799
<v Speaker 1>what girlfriend can I see? Like what can I do

0:43:18.840 --> 0:43:21.000
<v Speaker 1>with my time? Like I had Ivy, but all my

0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:24.399
<v Speaker 1>girlfriends have babies, but I was like, oh, what can

0:43:24.440 --> 0:43:25.040
<v Speaker 1>I do in my time?

0:43:25.080 --> 0:43:26.320
<v Speaker 2>And I even caught up a girl friend was like

0:43:26.360 --> 0:43:27.560
<v Speaker 2>what are you doing? She's like, oh, I can come

0:43:27.600 --> 0:43:28.279
<v Speaker 2>over for a one.

0:43:28.760 --> 0:43:31.920
<v Speaker 1>But then I actually stopped and I was like, Georgie,

0:43:32.000 --> 0:43:34.400
<v Speaker 1>you had never had time alone, Like this would be

0:43:34.520 --> 0:43:37.359
<v Speaker 1>such a good night to not only spend time one

0:43:37.400 --> 0:43:40.360
<v Speaker 1>on one with Ivy, but just to give yourself some time.

0:43:40.400 --> 0:43:42.840
<v Speaker 1>So I literally called that friend back and I was like, actually,

0:43:42.880 --> 0:43:45.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry, like I would actually just love the

0:43:45.080 --> 0:43:46.680
<v Speaker 1>night to myself, and she's like, oh my god.

0:43:46.560 --> 0:43:47.239
<v Speaker 2>I totally get it.

0:43:47.320 --> 0:43:49.719
<v Speaker 1>I love that And I had the night to myself,

0:43:49.760 --> 0:43:52.239
<v Speaker 1>and I think that is filling up my cup and

0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:56.120
<v Speaker 1>giving back to myself and making that decision based on

0:43:56.160 --> 0:43:59.719
<v Speaker 1>my love language. Yes, I love that. And I think

0:43:59.800 --> 0:44:02.960
<v Speaker 1>even little things when it comes to acts of service

0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:06.440
<v Speaker 1>is don't be hard on yourself if maybe you need

0:44:06.440 --> 0:44:10.200
<v Speaker 1>to get groceries delivered or reading some things sometimes to

0:44:10.239 --> 0:44:12.960
<v Speaker 1>take those little errands off your plate. No, but if

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:15.480
<v Speaker 1>that's your love language, like that's where you should be

0:44:15.480 --> 0:44:18.800
<v Speaker 1>spending your money, Yeah, to fill your cup exactly because

0:44:18.840 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 1>it's worth it to you.

0:44:20.040 --> 0:44:20.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:44:20.440 --> 0:44:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Receiving gifts, oh, by yourself presence. Actually, you know what,

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:31.120
<v Speaker 1>this probably is my love language and I just fulfill it.

0:44:30.280 --> 0:44:33.160
<v Speaker 2>So you don't need it from other people. Yes, that

0:44:33.200 --> 0:44:34.000
<v Speaker 2>makes so much sense.

0:44:34.040 --> 0:44:37.240
<v Speaker 1>Actually, this is such a good I just had the thought.

0:44:37.520 --> 0:44:42.680
<v Speaker 1>But if you're lacking love, literally, think of what your

0:44:42.760 --> 0:44:46.480
<v Speaker 1>love language is and give it to yourself. Yeah, like,

0:44:46.680 --> 0:44:48.640
<v Speaker 1>oh for sure, even if you're in a relationship.

0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:49.200
<v Speaker 2>I kind of men.

0:44:49.880 --> 0:44:52.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh so the like I was when I was reading this,

0:44:52.480 --> 0:44:54.440
<v Speaker 1>I was thinking about it, and I was thinking, you know,

0:44:54.560 --> 0:44:56.640
<v Speaker 1>when I'm like off t him because he's you know,

0:44:56.840 --> 0:44:59.680
<v Speaker 1>not showing me love or blah blah blah, I should

0:44:59.760 --> 0:45:01.520
<v Speaker 1>really be like filling up.

0:45:01.400 --> 0:45:04.919
<v Speaker 2>My own cup. Yeah, like not putting that on him.

0:45:05.200 --> 0:45:06.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes, don't you think?

0:45:06.800 --> 0:45:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I love that.

0:45:07.840 --> 0:45:10.320
<v Speaker 1>And obviously, you know, having the conversation with him is great.

0:45:10.440 --> 0:45:13.319
<v Speaker 1>But that's actually something I did think of. And that's

0:45:13.360 --> 0:45:16.760
<v Speaker 1>probably true because receiving gifts used to be a love language.

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:18.279
<v Speaker 1>But I probably now just do it all myself, and

0:45:18.360 --> 0:45:19.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, it's all good.

0:45:19.120 --> 0:45:19.480
<v Speaker 2>It's full.

0:45:20.040 --> 0:45:23.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that part of your love language cup is full.

0:45:24.120 --> 0:45:25.399
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it's even that like.

0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:31.839
<v Speaker 1>Your love language quiz results is kind of what you're

0:45:31.920 --> 0:45:35.920
<v Speaker 1>lacking in your love length so true. Not what your

0:45:35.960 --> 0:45:39.160
<v Speaker 1>love language is, it's what you need more of, and

0:45:39.320 --> 0:45:41.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe you need an equal amount of all of them.

0:45:42.239 --> 0:45:44.799
<v Speaker 1>But it's like I'm already good in that department, so

0:45:44.880 --> 0:45:45.600
<v Speaker 1>you don't need help.

0:45:46.280 --> 0:45:50.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, mind blown. I'm like, we've changed it.

0:45:50.600 --> 0:45:53.160
<v Speaker 2>ReadWrite your book. We've changed the game.

0:45:53.520 --> 0:45:55.360
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's gonna be funny. Is if like that

0:45:55.680 --> 0:46:00.160
<v Speaker 1>is what is said in the book, is like I've

0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:00.480
<v Speaker 1>got it.

0:46:00.760 --> 0:46:02.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Oh my god, that's so try.

0:46:02.960 --> 0:46:04.600
<v Speaker 1>I never really thought about that, and that's probably why

0:46:04.600 --> 0:46:07.680
<v Speaker 1>it changes all the time, because you fluctuate with what

0:46:07.840 --> 0:46:09.239
<v Speaker 1>you give yourself.

0:46:09.760 --> 0:46:15.920
<v Speaker 2>You're so smart, okay. And then quality time, have some

0:46:16.000 --> 0:46:18.440
<v Speaker 2>time alone, schedule that fucking self care.

0:46:18.320 --> 0:46:21.360
<v Speaker 1>Time, massages I've started to cure.

0:46:21.640 --> 0:46:24.480
<v Speaker 2>Try to do like a bath once a week on

0:46:24.560 --> 0:46:27.960
<v Speaker 2>a Sunday night. Yeah, love. Yeah, just the little things

0:46:28.000 --> 0:46:28.319
<v Speaker 2>like that.

0:46:28.560 --> 0:46:31.360
<v Speaker 1>And I would go so far to say physical touch

0:46:31.560 --> 0:46:33.560
<v Speaker 1>is like a similar sort of thing where it's like

0:46:33.640 --> 0:46:37.000
<v Speaker 1>you schedule in that like time for yourself, Yeah, that

0:46:37.160 --> 0:46:40.560
<v Speaker 1>intimate time for yourself. Yeah, because it's like how to

0:46:40.640 --> 0:46:41.680
<v Speaker 1>get intimate yourself.

0:46:41.880 --> 0:46:43.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah you mean.

0:46:43.080 --> 0:46:46.440
<v Speaker 1>So that bath is the intimate yeah yeah, and also

0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:46.680
<v Speaker 1>get a.

0:46:49.520 --> 0:46:52.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh gosh, tears.

0:46:51.920 --> 0:46:58.320
<v Speaker 1>Words I think even yeah, what just like that wholesome

0:46:58.360 --> 0:47:02.120
<v Speaker 1>time alone to your self will fulfill that sort of

0:47:02.120 --> 0:47:06.759
<v Speaker 1>part two? Yeah yeah love all right, guys, I hope

0:47:06.760 --> 0:47:10.279
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed this episode. I honestly found it so therapeutic

0:47:10.360 --> 0:47:12.680
<v Speaker 1>to know my love language, to have that chat with Tim,

0:47:13.000 --> 0:47:15.240
<v Speaker 1>and also it was just so interesting to know yoursit

0:47:15.280 --> 0:47:20.000
<v Speaker 1>here I know I love Yeah.

0:47:20.120 --> 0:47:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I highly suggest you guys do the queis again.

0:47:22.400 --> 0:47:24.560
<v Speaker 1>Come and join us in the Facebook group. Let's have

0:47:24.600 --> 0:47:26.600
<v Speaker 1>a chat about it. I would honestly love to know

0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:29.240
<v Speaker 1>how I can do more of the physical touch for Tim,

0:47:29.560 --> 0:47:32.719
<v Speaker 1>So if you have any ideas, Thank you so much

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:35.759
<v Speaker 1>for listening. Guys, We'll chat to you in the next episode.

0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:37.239
<v Speaker 2>Bye bye.

0:47:40.719 --> 0:47:44.239
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for listening to another episode of

0:47:44.280 --> 0:47:47.440
<v Speaker 1>the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

0:47:47.520 --> 0:47:51.800
<v Speaker 1>want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer

0:47:52.080 --> 0:47:56.000
<v Speaker 1>dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group a Rise

0:47:56.000 --> 0:48:00.160
<v Speaker 1>and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we

0:48:00.239 --> 0:48:02.920
<v Speaker 1>have a small team, so we do appreciate your time

0:48:02.960 --> 0:48:05.760
<v Speaker 1>and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow

0:48:05.920 --> 0:48:09.799
<v Speaker 1>or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be

0:48:10.280 --> 0:48:13.960
<v Speaker 1>so amazing. And look if you're feeling extra kind. A

0:48:14.080 --> 0:48:16.800
<v Speaker 1>review on Apple podcasts would be great.