WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Two weddings and hopefully a relationship funeral 0:00:18.920 --> 0:00:22.200 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Lifetime Cut. 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:24.680 This is our quick down and dirty. 0:00:24.960 --> 0:00:26.000 Usually you say I'm Laura. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.640 Oh yeah, I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi, Brittany. Hey continue, Okay, 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.440 this is our quick down, and I'm trying to make 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.199 it extra quick. I didn't even want to interro us 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:37.159 this time. You're like, hey, question one, So all right, fuckers, 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:42.280 let's get into this. This is our quick down and 0:00:42.320 --> 0:00:44.960 dirty episode, which you guys know this is where we 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:48.080 answer oh, your deep, dark and burning question. 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.160 But this one's going to be even quicker, downer and dirty. 0:00:50.200 --> 0:00:51.960 Up doesn't want to buyrom That's not even true. 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:55.360 I'm guys, We're we're like, Okay, I said I wouldn't 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:57.400 talk about baby talk anymore, but I lied because I'm 0:00:57.400 --> 0:00:59.720 gonna do it right now. I am thirty seven weeks. 0:01:00.120 --> 0:01:03.000 We have two weeks left. Let me talk about it 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:03.520 and complain. 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:07.039 I I actually think when you're a human, right when 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:09.280 you're two weeks away from giving birth, I feel like 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:12.080 you have every right to complain as much as you want. 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.559 So yesterday we had this massive day, like I haven't 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:16.520 finished work yet, but I'm going to take off next week, 0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:18.759 which is like one week off before the baby's due, 0:01:19.120 --> 0:01:21.760 and you go crazy, I'm going to have a one 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:25.640 week of maternity league. Whoo. But I had a shoot 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.400 yesterday for Tony May. Were down at the National Park. 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:30.479 We started super early in the morning and we shot 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:32.880 all day until seven pm. And we were running up 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:35.400 and down rock platforms all day. And by the end 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:38.399 of it, I realized I was walking from side to 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:41.920 side but wasn't actually moving forward at all. Like imagine 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:44.240 that I was like waddling side to side on this 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.960 rock platform trying to get forward, but like on a treadmill, 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:49.720 everything hurts so much that I was just moving on 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:50.240 the spot. 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:53.040 Well, because people that are thirty seven weeks pregnant shouldn't 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:55.240 be clocking up like five kloments a day on their feet. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:57.320 I've just got an arm hanging out from between my legs. 0:01:57.320 --> 0:01:59.200 It's great, you're like baby staying there. I've got to 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.720 get the shot the perfect floor. I mean, I sneeze 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.840 and I pay myself and now I'm like really clenching 0:02:03.840 --> 0:02:05.560 those public floor muscles. So they just need it to 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.920 stay in for another week at least. But guys, we 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:10.280 are going to jump straight into it today. So I'm 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:13.160 going to just kickstart with a question we have. Okay, 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:14.919 before you kicked up with a question, I'm just gonna 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:15.400 preempt there. 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:16.760 You know what, I just try and get on board 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:18.480 with you and make it quick because you want quick 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:19.840 and now you want to talk about something. 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:21.679 I wanted a quickie, but then I wanted a little 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:22.639 bit of full play as well. 0:02:22.760 --> 0:02:24.160 Yeah, you can't have it all. You get your full 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.480 play or you get your quirki which want dry. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.520 It's like, I don't want to be sore afterwards. No 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:31.840 one wants to listen to that. I was just gonna say, 0:02:31.880 --> 0:02:33.960 we have picked out some questions for you today, and 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:37.440 two of these questions are wedding related questions, and we 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.680 thought maybe that's a bit too much, but then we 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.400 did read them again a couple of times and I 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:44.040 was like, you know what, if you've ever been to 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.000 a wedding, or you've been invited to a wedding, or 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:48.320 you might go to a wedding next year, then both 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:50.720 of these questions are going to be very relative to you. 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:52.560 We may as well stick with the theme. 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:55.240 Yeah, I like a good wedding question. So anyway, all right, 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:56.440 hit me number one. 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:59.720 Question number one. So for our wedding, we asked for 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:02.040 money in our wishing well. Two of our really good 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:05.160 friends did not give us a present or a card, which, 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:08.000 you know, I'm fine with each to their own, But 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:10.400 when it comes to their wedding, which we are invited 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.960 to in the very near future, are we expected to 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:16.440 contribute to their wishing well? This is a good question. 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:18.960 Firstly, are you one hundred percent sure that they didn't 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:20.840 leave money in the wishing well? Because some people don't 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:22.480 necessarily put it in a car, They just put in 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:26.160 an envelope. There's like some anonymous few hundred dollar notes. 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:28.720 To flying around. Nah, no one gives money anymore without 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:29.600 putting the name on it. 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:31.320 He's a bit enthusiastic, wasn't it. 0:03:31.360 --> 0:03:33.160 Yeah? I feel like that's wishful thinking if someone's got 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.640 enough money to be like waving hundies around without attaching 0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:37.400 your name. Like if I give one hundred dollars out, 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:38.560 that person's got a note from me. 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.120 The I mean, this is kind of like a golden 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:44.320 rule with weddings. It's like, however much it is per head, 0:03:44.720 --> 0:03:48.400 is what is the expected gift worth? So like is it? Yeah? Yeah? 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:50.040 So like I did not know that, And how are 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:51.720 you supposed to know how much it is? Ahead, Well, 0:03:51.720 --> 0:03:52.120 I guess. 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:53.880 You kind of assume that, like, you know, one hundred 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:55.840 dollars to one hundred and fifty dollars depending on the 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:58.040 type of wedding that it is, is like what they 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:01.440 would be paying. So I think, like I personally would say, 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:04.680 one hundred and fifty dollars gift like cash gift per 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:08.840 person is like a kind generous wedding gift. And I think, 0:04:08.840 --> 0:04:10.200 if I'm gonna go out on a Saturday night and 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:12.560 have a big dinner and drinks night, it's probably gonna 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:14.680 cost me one hundred and fifty dollars anyway. So you've 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:18.240 got unlimited drinks, you've got unlimited food, Like that's kind 0:04:18.279 --> 0:04:21.279 of you paying for yourself. And that's like the sentiment 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.719 that goes behind the gift giving that they're not out 0:04:23.720 --> 0:04:24.839 of pocket at the end of day. 0:04:25.360 --> 0:04:27.240 See, I didn't know that. I didn't know that that 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:27.640 was a rule. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:29.479 Am I making this up? Now? Maybe this is a rule, 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:31.640 But I just made up for myself and it works 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:32.280 really well. 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:34.760 Guys. At the bottom of Laura's in mic, She's like, ps, 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:36.760 it's one hundred and feet dos a head. If everyone 0:04:36.839 --> 0:04:38.839 could please provide the amount popping in the wishing weld 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:40.560 that will be on the entrance. Thank you very much 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:42.040 for coming to my party. Now, look the way I 0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:45.040 think about this is, of course there are no expectations. 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:46.760 Of course you don't have to bring a present. Of 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:49.640 course you don't have to give money, But there is 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.839 this sort of unwritten expectation that you do do something 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.719 because it is it is wishing someone well, and it's 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:56.960 just it's just the dune thing. 0:04:57.200 --> 0:04:57.360 Well. 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:58.520 And it's also like a bit. 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.840 Fucking rude to go to someone's web, enjoy their hospitality, 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.080 enjoy the party, have a great time, drink all you 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:07.160 can party on all night, and then not give any 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:10.480 not even a card to say thank you or we're 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:12.680 wishing you well. It's just rude. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:14.960 I think the card thing is the bit that gets 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:17.000 me because there are a lot of people financially that 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:19.080 don't have the money to go throwing around. And if 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.279 somebody came to my wedding and didn't have the money 0:05:22.320 --> 0:05:23.920 to buy me a gift or give me a card, 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:25.960 I from the bottom of my heart can tell you 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:29.520 I would not care, but I would still expect I 0:05:29.600 --> 0:05:33.560 suppose a card saying, you know, congratulations, best wishes, we 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.039 love you so much. That's enough for me. 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:38.599 However, maybe the idea is like, by not leaving a card, 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:40.719 maybe they won't notice, do you know. I mean, like, 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:42.360 so if you don't leave a card, because like, if 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:44.279 you leave a card and there's nothing inside and it's 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:46.240 just a card that says we're wishing you so well, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:48.640 we love you, then maybe there's this thought that like, 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.839 oh well, then they will one hundred percent know they're 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.120 gonna know anyway, because what a bride and groom do 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:56.320 after they get their wishing well is that they sit 0:05:56.360 --> 0:05:58.159 down with their guest list and they write down what 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.400 each person has given so that they can can write 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.880 a thank you note so they know if nothing has 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:05.159 been left. Like I think, you know, brid and grooms 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.800 are pretty acutely aware if somebody has not left a present, 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.240 because there is a lot of organization that goes into it. 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:11.760 But there's more to it than that. It's just not 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:13.560 that they're going to go through the list. It's that 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:15.719 these are two of her best friends, Like, there's no 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:18.400 way this is slipping by them. But this is what 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:20.200 I find interesting when I'm trying to think about it. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.840 For example, you and I are such good friends. I'm 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:26.960 not getting you anything, no, But my point is if 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:30.880 you got me nothing, I wouldn't care. But I also 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:32.760 wouldn't be able to say to you like, hey, I 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:35.360 noticed you didn't bring me anything, but I wouldn't be 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.520 That's what I mean. Even though we're good enough friends, 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:39.680 there's almost nothing that you and I can't say to 0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:42.040 each other. But I would leave that unset. I would 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:44.960 be like, just I'm just gonna let that pretend it 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.520 didn't happen. I'm gonna let slide under the boat. That's 0:06:47.600 --> 0:06:49.559 not even an expression, slide under the boat. 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:52.040 But also I think, oh, look, there are maybe some 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:55.760 external circumstances where it is okay. For example, like if 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.680 you genuinely are going through financial hardship and you cannot 0:06:59.440 --> 0:07:02.440 contribute or you cannot buy a gift, then like like 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:05.480 we said, a card is like the absolute bare minimum 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.440 that you can do. A really sentimental card is something 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.120 that I think you have to do. If you're going 0:07:10.160 --> 0:07:12.800 to a wedding, maybe it's an international wedding. This this 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.400 is what I think. The rules don't apply, okay, if 0:07:15.440 --> 0:07:18.240 you've been invited to go overseas to go to a 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:21.160 wedding and it has cost you a freaking bomb, which 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:23.920 some weddings do cost so much money to even just 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:26.240 attend them. Then I think that there can't be an 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.880 expectation to come, do all this travel, put all this 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:31.440 effort in, and then pay even more money. I think 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:34.040 in that instance then there is a little bit of 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:36.640 wiggle room here. But I think if it's just something 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:39.640 that's relatively local, or you know, you because you opt 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.640 into a wedding, you don't have to go if you 0:07:41.680 --> 0:07:44.400 can't afford it. So I think that there is an 0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:46.280 expectation for some sort of gift. 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:49.040 I agree. I think if you've gone internationally, then you 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:50.960 know all the rules are out the door. But to 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:54.880 answer your specific question, which here is, do you now 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:57.640 have to get them a gift when you don't do it? Well, no, 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:02.360 you don't. But would I Yes, I would still give 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.480 them a card and put some money in it, just 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:07.920 because I'm not a tit for tat kind of person. 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:08.600 I don't do. 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:10.960 Something to get something back, and I think that's where 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:12.440 a lot of people go wrong. And if you are 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:15.480 doing something purely in hopes of someone will return that 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:17.240 exact favor. Then I think you're doing it for the 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:17.760 wrong reason. 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:20.920 But not so nice. You clearly have never been to 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:24.000 like a big Greek or Italian wedding where it's like, okay, 0:08:24.120 --> 0:08:28.040 so like in like big Italian families, our families keep 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.280 track of what other family members have given so that 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.320 we can give the same amount back at the next wedding. 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:34.719 Like it's like that's a cultural thing, Like it's not 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.440 the norm by any means. And I'm totally with you. 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:39.680 I don't think that this is a time where you 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:41.840 should necessarily feel like you need to do a tit 0:08:41.880 --> 0:08:45.800 for tat. However, if you chose not to give anything at. 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.480 That wedding, they can't say anything about it. 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:49.840 No, Like they don't have the right to be angry, 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.600 like because they did the same to you at your weddings. 0:08:52.640 --> 0:08:54.600 But also right at the goddamn card if you're giving 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:56.280 them nothing, still give them a card because then you've 0:08:56.280 --> 0:09:01.160 got one up on them. Anyway, here's my seven dollars 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:03.360 hall Mark ond we leave the price on the back. 0:09:03.440 --> 0:09:07.280 Yeah, I think it is rude at the end of 0:09:07.360 --> 0:09:09.440 the day to go to a wedding and to not 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:12.480 give anything. It just feels like you haven't put any 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.840 time or energy into it. And I think in today's 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.240 day and age, with online shopping, with being organized, there 0:09:17.280 --> 0:09:20.920 is always opportunity to buy something that is not hugely expensive. 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:23.320 If you cannot afford to put one hundred and fifty 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.560 dollars cash in, go and buy a nice cheese plat. 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:27.280 I go and buy something they can use for the house. 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.000 It doesn't have to be something that costs you an 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.800 arm and a leg. That's something that's sentimental, that shows 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:33.800 that you've thought about this and that you care and 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:35.960 didn't just rock up to get pissed at a party. 0:09:36.440 --> 0:09:38.400 I think is really important. And I think that for 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.920 me as a friend, I'd be like, Okay, I appreciate 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:43.600 that you've gone to the effort, because it truly is 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:44.599 the thought that counts. 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.480 And you know, Laura, and I feel like, you know, 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:49.719 if I gave you a card with nothing in it, 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:50.920 you would know that. 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.920 I feel like Brittany's been really spending her money on something. 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:55.840 We need to call you know, you need to start 0:09:55.840 --> 0:09:58.600 a hocking some product on Instagram because something's going wrong. 0:09:59.080 --> 0:10:01.440 Sell a kidney girl. But you would know, you would know, 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:03.640 and you wouldn't question it because you'd be like, Okay, 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.839 something's wrong with Brittany in her financial life. I'm not 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:08.720 going to question it because there's no way I know 0:10:08.840 --> 0:10:10.360 as a friend she would do that and then you 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.280 would leave it. The thing that gets me here is 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:13.160 just the no card thing. 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:15.400 Yeah, and I think that maybe also this sentiment is 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:17.319 like sometimes you go to a wedding and you forget 0:10:17.320 --> 0:10:19.199 the gift or you forget to do it ei though, 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:21.679 like I mean, there's definitely going to be times where 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:23.320 you get there and like you're like, oh, I'll do 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:25.280 it later. Like I'm sure that there are people who 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.400 have good intentions and in their mind they're like, oh, 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:29.080 I'll give it to them the next time I see them. 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:31.679 But if you do that and then you don't give 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.400 it to them the next time you see them, you're 0:10:33.440 --> 0:10:35.240 just that dickhead that showed up at a wedding didn't 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:35.800 bring anything. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:37.760 Do you know what the funny thing is that I'm 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:41.720 thinking right now, if this girl listens to our podcast 0:10:41.800 --> 0:10:43.760 religiously and she's writteny in chances I had two best 0:10:43.760 --> 0:10:48.760 friends listen to the podcast, Hey, so go and get 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:50.160 the card and slide it under a door. 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:52.000 Maybe this is something that's gonna be controversial. Man, there's 0:10:52.000 --> 0:10:54.000 gonna be people that totally disagree with this. I'm interested 0:10:54.040 --> 0:10:55.560 to put this one up on the Instagram and see 0:10:55.559 --> 0:10:58.360 what on the Onstagram, on the interwept, to see what 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:00.720 people say. But I want to poll this. I want 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:02.720 to see, like, what is a what is like a 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.520 considered amount of money? Like am I being too overzealous 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:07.400 and thinking that one hundred and fifty dollars is normal? 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:10.040 Is it eighty dollars? Is it two hundred dollars? I 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:11.800 don't know. I want to know what you guys think 0:11:11.840 --> 0:11:14.480 from a poll of what is an acceptable amount of money. 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:18.199 Personally, I genuinely feel like my go to for a wedding, 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.280 I think one hundred dollars is fine. I think if 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.680 it was like my best friend and I was in 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.240 the bridal party, I would have done a lot more 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:26.800 for them throughout the period. But I think that these 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.199 day and age, one hundred dollars is completely acceptable. I 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.319 don't think if anyone opened a card with one hundred 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:33.240 dollars in it, they would say, can you believe that? 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:34.280 And they gave me a hundred dollars? 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:35.880 You think you make a really good point around like 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.200 Hen's parties and stuff like if you are a part 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.800 of the bridal party, that shit costs so much. 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:42.880 Money, so much money. 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.080 Like I cannot tell you, like in the last couple 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.320 of years how much money I have spent on Hen's 0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:50.960 parties on like, because you know, Hen's parties often these 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.680 days require going overseas or they require like a lavish weekend, 0:11:54.720 --> 0:11:58.440 awigh or something, and it just racks up. So maybe 0:11:58.440 --> 0:12:00.680 in this instance, like if you've spent so much money 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:02.520 on the Hen's party, and you've spent so much money 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.840 on other things leading up to the wedding, then that 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.840 can all be taken into account as well. And I 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:09.360 think if this is your, like for the person who's 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.959 written this in if you had a bougie af Hen's 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.040 party and your friends had to pay a lot of 0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.120 money to come to that, then I kind of don't 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:19.320 really think that you should expect a big wedding president, 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:20.840 but you can still expect a card. 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:23.120 Yeah, Okay, I think we've covered this one. Yeah, okay, right, right. 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:24.800 The good thing that we're keeping the short and sharp 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.320 today people we always see that we get really passionate 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:27.880 about it. 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:31.040 About like literally the most nothing or the most minute detail. 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:32.840 But I'm sure that there's other people out there like 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:34.079 feeling enraged by this. 0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:36.520 When we get closer to Laura's wedding, we will do 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.640 weighing more episodes on wedding stuff and getting ready and 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:40.600 like the stresses of it. 0:12:40.720 --> 0:12:42.840 No, we won't. I'm so not a wedding person. No, 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:46.240 but we'll do one episode on like weddings. Like that'll 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.160 be it? Yes, boss, Okay, I'm already pressing around regarding 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:49.600 my wedding. 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.079 I should have a two. What do you do when 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:54.920 you really don't like your brother's girlfriend. He's twenty five 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.360 and she's twenty one. Usually I would just wait it out, 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.439 but he's just got a job into state. She's now 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:03.440 following him there. Don't get me wrong, She's nice enough, 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:06.240 but she's always so demanding, and he's always doing something 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.880 wrong in her eyes, like he's not calling her enough, 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.760 or he's not being affectionate enough. In public. She's always 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:15.000 all over him, talking about how intelligent she is compared 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.080 to him, and it drives me insane. She's even saying 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.880 to demand things like a proposal. She takes it upon 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.160 herself to point things out that she doesn't like about 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.280 our family, and I've caught her out a few times 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:28.679 fabricating stories and embellishing truths to make herself seem better. 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.840 She also has lots of chronic issues, mental and physical. 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.560 In the big scheme of things, it's nothing major. She's 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.400 just not the kind of person I want for my brother. 0:13:36.880 --> 0:13:39.880 What do I do? Do I say something? Or do 0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:42.200 I just butt out? Letting work it out for himself? 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.679 What are the rules when you don't like someone else 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:45.439 in your family? 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.720 Oh? You just sabotage it, Like you totally ruin that 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.360 relationship until he breaks up with her, go to town. 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:53.600 Do you think you just like set up that she's 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:58.480 cheated on him? Okay, that's what not to do. 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:02.160 Okay, I think you suck it up, girlfriend, Like, this 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.880 is his life, this is his relationship. If he's at 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:06.760 a point, I mean he's pretty young still, Like, if 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:10.120 he's at a point where he's settling for bad behavior, 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:12.440 he will probably wake up to it at some point 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:14.679 and see it for what it is. But by you 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:17.400 jumping in and by you giving your two cents, you're 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.120 only going to drive a wedge between you and your brother, 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.160 not between him and his girlfriend. I think that's the 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.200 thing you need to be really careful about. Imagine if 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.840 it was your boyfriend and your brother said to you, oh, 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:29.200 I don't really like him for X y Z reasons. 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:32.080 If anything, I think that usually makes people dig their 0:14:32.120 --> 0:14:36.000 heels in more and really galvanizes the couple more so 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.200 than opening their eyes to what the other person in 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:39.480 the relationship is doing wrong. 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:45.320 Here's what I think. I think you have to tread 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:46.880 carefully with this one, but I think there is a 0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:49.240 way around it. It depends how close you are with 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:51.240 your brother. You're obviously very protective of him, so I'm 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.600 gonna just like make an assumption that you were close 0:14:53.680 --> 0:14:56.080 enough that you would talk to each other. What you 0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:59.600 need to do is wait for the opportunity that they've 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:01.920 had a fight, or they're having a tiff, or there's 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:04.560 a bit of a problem. And if that opportunity arises 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:06.760 and he's like, you know, things aren't great right now, 0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:09.760 that's your opportunity to say, yeah, I do want to 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:12.080 say anything, but I've noticed a few things like how 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:13.920 do you feel when she does this? But that's your 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:18.520 opportunity to start the conversation and maybe tread really gently 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.920 as you enter the conversation, because, like Laura said, when 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.600 you go in attacking someone that someone else loves, they're 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:26.400 gonna get on the back foot. They're gonna get defensive, 0:15:26.400 --> 0:15:28.120 and they're gonna blame you, and they're gonna push away 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:32.880 from you. But this also comes with some problems because 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.560 you risk saying too much about not liking them, and 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:37.280 you risk them working out and getting back together, and 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:38.520 then everyone knows you don't like that. 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.000 That was exactly what I was about to say. I 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.400 was like, and this is something that I've experienced with 0:15:42.440 --> 0:15:45.320 my ex relationship that I spoke about when we went 0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:47.400 through our breakup. And then all my friends were like, yeah, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:49.400 we hate him. He doesn't treat you right. He's this, 0:15:49.520 --> 0:15:52.840 he's that. And then I got back with him. Lol 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:56.280 it yeah, hey, so my friends hate you. 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.280 Then I got back with him for the seventeenth time, 0:15:58.440 --> 0:15:58.800 and then I. 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:00.760 Got back with him literally for this six time that year. 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:03.080 All it did was create a wedge between me and 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:05.560 my friends, and it meant that I didn't feel comfortable 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.600 telling them everything about my relationship because I knew how 0:16:08.640 --> 0:16:10.480 they felt about him, and I knew that they didn't 0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:14.280 like him, and so it created a real rift and look, 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.320 eventually I ended up seeing that relationship for what it was. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.000 Eventually my eyes were open, but they were never going 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:21.920 to be open until I was ready to see that 0:16:22.120 --> 0:16:22.840 for myself. 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.040