1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It's Will and Woody podcast mining the Pony's feeling in 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: for Woods while he's in the African juggle frime slub. 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,159 Speaker 1: Get me out of here right now. I'd love to 4 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,320 Speaker 1: hear from some other people here about talking about societal 5 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,159 Speaker 1: pressure to have children on thirty one or six y 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: five because Andrew, Ah, the kids, the kids, And the 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: reason we're talking about this is because Andrew Garfield spider 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: Man most recently kell of a movie he did, is 9 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: the most recent Spider Man. But he has come out 10 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: he's forty. I can't believe he's forty. 11 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 2: He looks good, doesn't he. Yeah, totally doing to look 12 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 2: so good. 13 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: I would say being Spider Man has got to help. Yeah, 14 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: there's a lot of there's a lot of fitness. 15 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,760 Speaker 2: There's downsides. You get the little spiky bits on your hands, 16 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 2: but yeah, stay looking young forever. Yeah, shoot web from 17 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 2: your wrist, probably. 18 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: A little bits the downside or and upside. 19 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 2: Well, I think it would just become inconvenient. Imagine going 20 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 2: to get a trolley at Cole's. The web starts shooting 21 00:00:59,240 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: out everywhere. 22 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: I think to be handy though, like Trollie Bang slided over. 23 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 2: Got into a rhythm yes, he's in a rhythm. He's 24 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 2: got momently, though. 25 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: It would be occasionally. Yeah, yeah, no, fair enough. Anyway, 26 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: he is forty years old, and he said that he 27 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:19,240 Speaker 1: felt an enormous pressure to have kids, and he's really 28 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: happy that he no longer feels that now. Fascinatingly, you 29 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,119 Speaker 1: and I spoke about this last night on the phone 30 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: because we were both talking to each other about how 31 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 1: nervous we were about today, and you were saying I 32 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: was just talking to you about the fact that I 33 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,800 Speaker 1: was like putting my daughter down and how that was 34 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: like I was gassed. 35 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, I'm putting myself down now 36 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 2: because I have the same schedule as a baby. But 37 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,959 Speaker 2: it is something that we've spoken about, you know, that 38 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 2: that idea that we're of a certain age, are we 39 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 2: supposed to have children? You know, what are the people 40 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 2: around us saying to us about it? 41 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? 42 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 2: You know, did you feel pressured to have a baby? 43 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: I think it's something I always wanted to do, and 44 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 1: then I agreed with my partner that that's what we 45 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: would do. I didn't ever feel pressure because I always 46 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: felt like I could say no, but I would be 47 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 1: lying if I said that there wasn't a sense of 48 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: you've been with someone for a certain amount of time now, 49 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: or your friends are having babies around you, this is 50 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: a good time to be doing this. 51 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you either have to like get married or have 52 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 2: a baby or by you have to do some sort 53 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 2: of mentalestone. 54 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: But it was always something that I wanted to do. Yeah. 55 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: I feel like the inverse of that, though, is that 56 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of people aren't honest about 57 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: the fact that they regret having children. 58 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 2: Do you know this is so interesting? So I've always thought, oh, 59 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 2: I'm so desperate to have babies. I really can't wait 60 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,320 Speaker 2: to have a little baby that I can hold onto. 61 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: But hearing all of the stories from my girlfriends, from 62 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,720 Speaker 2: people at work, just from friends, colleagues wherever, it's a 63 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 2: lot of work. 64 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, it's immense ridiculous. Well, you know, I 65 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: had a solo parent over the break them for a 66 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: week and I were calling the first night and I 67 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: was like, you know those times that I come home 68 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,239 Speaker 1: from work and I say, Jess, I had a rough day, 69 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: just tell me to shut the up, like to my face, 70 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: because my day is so easy compared to your day. 71 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: And I think, I don't think I think that for 72 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 1: people who have kids, it's almost got like a chip 73 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 1: on their shoulder that they need to know, carry on 74 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 1: around people that don't have. 75 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 2: It, don't have them. 76 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: But it's the best thing ever, because you don't want 77 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: to admit that. Maybe maybe it is a bit ship 78 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: right now. 79 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 2: But also, like for women, you give up so much. 80 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 2: You know, you give up your body and your health 81 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 2: for a little bit, and you know well and your career, 82 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,799 Speaker 2: you know, your pay packet suffers all of that sort 83 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 2: of stuff, and then you are literally tethered to the 84 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 2: child for like an extended period of time. I don't 85 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 2: know how it works. Maybe there's a spider Man type thing. 86 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 3: You know. 87 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 2: I'm not a mother, so. 88 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's breastfeeding what what? Yeah? Web, excuse me, 89 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: Web comes, Web comes out of your breast. It's amazing. 90 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 2: Wow, we're all learning things today. 91 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: No, but it is. 92 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,680 Speaker 2: You know, there is a lot to think about, especially. 93 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: So Brooke, just your age, your position, and you're obviously 94 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: well settled, well established, and at your age, you're obviously 95 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: you would be ignorant to think that there is not 96 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: some sort of societal pressure for people to think that 97 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: you should be having children. 98 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 2: There absolutely is. Last time I went home, my name 99 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 2: was like, when are you going to have a baby? 100 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: They don't really beat around the bush to that. Grandparents 101 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: don't have anymore. 102 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: I think they get to an age and they're. 103 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: Just like I'm selfish as well from the like from 104 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: your family, from your family in particular, like they want 105 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: a grand kid. They want this little gooey thing that 106 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: they get to see for a few hours and then 107 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 1: you know, yeah, exactly yes, and then you're the one 108 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 1: who's not sleeping and feeding with vomit all over you 109 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: whatever else. 110 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 2: There's lots of things to consider, not just the impact 111 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 2: on you, but like climate change as well. You know 112 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 2: a lot of people think about that. Can they afford 113 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 2: to like most people can't even afford their rent as 114 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 2: it is a little and find a place. 115 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: If you ask them, If you ask them how's it 116 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: going having a baby? They best thing ever, best thing ever. 117 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 1: It's almost like you're like saying it to yourself. Sometimes 118 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: people like how's it going? You're like, best thing ever? 119 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: So good, I don't even tell you. 120 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 2: Is everyone like that? Though? 121 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: Right? Well, this is the trick and I think that 122 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: there's genuinely a catch when you too, though, because like 123 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: if you look at it from the outside, having children 124 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: as a nightmare, you're right. You lose all your dependence. You 125 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,479 Speaker 1: lose all your independence, you gain dependence, and then once 126 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 1: that emotion is involved, it kind of moves beyond an 127 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,960 Speaker 1: idea and you do genuinely fall in love with this thing, 128 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: and like love is blind, right, so you can't actually 129 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: grock that it is really awful for the rest of 130 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: your life because the bomb of the bomb of the 131 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: baby kind of covers it all up and makes you 132 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 1: feel so good, so you do get that. Like I 133 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: remember saying that to my dad one stage. I was like, 134 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 1: I wasn't sleeping and it was just a shocking time 135 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 1: with Max, and he was like, yeah, but you've got 136 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: a beautiful baby, girl. That's what you have to give 137 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 1: up to get there. But I don't think that there 138 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: is enough honesty practically speaking around what you are giving up. 139 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,039 Speaker 2: People don't talk about it. 140 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: No, I agree, and I reckon we should talk about 141 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: that right now. Thirty one and six five Do you 142 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 1: think people are really honest about it about the fact 143 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: that having kids is actually really can be really crab, 144 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: can be really tough. Should people who have got kids 145 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:08,080 Speaker 1: been more honest about how tough they're doing it with 146 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: people who aren't. Are you someone are you someone who 147 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 1: hasn't got kids? And why there's a question for you 148 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:19,000 Speaker 1: thirty one or six five? Do people have kids too early? 149 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:21,040 Speaker 1: Is that? 150 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 3: Like? 151 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: I mean? Because? I mean? And what are your reasons 152 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 1: for not having kids when society tells you to? 153 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 2: Well, it all started because Andrew Garfield of spider Man 154 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 2: fame said that there's a societal obligation to have kids 155 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 2: by the time you turn forty. I had a birthday 156 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 2: on the weekend, you know, approaching forty, mid to late thirties. 157 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 2: Shall we say. 158 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: So we can reduce your age from that? I think 159 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 1: thirty six? Yeah? Did you not approaching forty? Not quite 160 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: thirty five? Certainly inies rhymes with HRDI bicks. 161 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 2: Anyway, he said that he felt that societal obligation to 162 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: have kids, and you know, I don't know if I 163 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: feel like a huge obligation. But lately I've been wondering, 164 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 2: is it all it's cracked up to be? When I 165 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 2: was younger, I definitely desperately wanted it. Now not so sure. 166 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: I'm on the fence. 167 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: You told me something in the song just then. I'm 168 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: not sure for me to be saying this on air, 169 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: but a friend of yours said something to you which 170 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: further cemented your position. Well, maybe I don't want to 171 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: do that. 172 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago, one of my girlfriends said, 173 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 2: it's really it's one of the most narcissistic things you 174 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: can do having a baby. And she meant it in 175 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 2: the sense that like, you know, you're creating something and 176 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: then you're looking at it going like, I love this 177 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 2: thing so much. Another one of my friends on the weekend, 178 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 2: because it is something that women my age talk about 179 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 2: all the time. Of course, she said, oh, you know, 180 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 2: like I don't really want to, but I sort of 181 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 2: feel like maybe I have to pay it forward first 182 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 2: to us, so maybe we should do. 183 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 4: I was like, Wow, it's not a free lunch. It's 184 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 4: not like a free f your Friday. 185 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:08,920 Speaker 2: Someone's bill at a restaurant. 186 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: Hannah's called thirty one and six five and you're a 187 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: mom of two and you feel like maybe you had 188 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,120 Speaker 1: kids too early. 189 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 5: It's kind of like that high Brook. It's great to 190 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 5: have you on the show. I'm really enjoying listening to you. 191 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 5: And well, while water is off in the jungle. I'm 192 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 5: a mom of two. I'm quite a young mum. I 193 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 5: did feel the societal obligation to have kids, but due 194 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 5: to medical reasons, that decided to be earlier in my life. 195 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 5: But honestly, you do it when you're ready. If you're 196 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 5: never ready, and that's fine. Like the amount of pressure 197 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,200 Speaker 5: that they put on people, and if it's not for you, it's. 198 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 3: Not for you. 199 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 5: We're in the twenty first tree, like people have to 200 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 5: accept that now, which is really really hard in this day. 201 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,839 Speaker 1: I think that's that's the catch twenty two, isn't it. 202 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: Hand I've used that expression twice in two minutes, and 203 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: I haven't used it correctly either way. But to catch 204 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,559 Speaker 1: forty fours, that's very good. She'll be here for two 205 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: weeks every on brook Bony now. So that that is 206 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,640 Speaker 1: the issue, though, is that like we keep saying, hey, look, 207 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: don't worry about societal pressure, but like what like that 208 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 1: is that is impossible any human living in a city 209 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: anywhere at the moment, you can't not feel societal pressure. Like, 210 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: let's arguably the biggest force in being a young adult. 211 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: It's like you feel that you need to do something 212 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: all the way down to putting your rubbish in the 213 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 1: right bin. And it does affect things. But this is 214 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: more than just conforming to society. It's changing your whole life. 215 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: So you're putting a flag in your life and going, 216 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm going to be different to everyone else, which is 217 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,120 Speaker 1: hardly right. 218 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,320 Speaker 2: But I think it's becoming more and more accepted. And 219 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 2: I think especially because there are people who are a 220 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 2: little bit more honest about the impacts, because I think 221 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 2: not that long ago, people were like, oh, women can 222 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 2: have everything. You can work keeps and also you can 223 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 2: be like a really great mother and also like a 224 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:09,959 Speaker 2: really great. 225 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 1: Partner, your daughter and whatever. But you can't. It's not 226 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: true for some. For some women absolutely like you know 227 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,199 Speaker 1: that that you hear those stories. But for lots of women, 228 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 1: like I know lots of my mates, you know, wives 229 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: and partners have got off work and then gone and 230 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: been and mum and been like, actually, I can't go 231 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,480 Speaker 1: back to work. I am a flat chat over here, 232 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: or maybe I'm just enjoying it and good on you. Hey, 233 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: Maddie's called thirty one and six five. Maddie. You got 234 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: a couple of kids. What's your experience with this? 235 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I have two kids. I must submit. I 236 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,719 Speaker 3: did twenty six ives iles to have my kids, so 237 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,520 Speaker 3: they were very much wanted. But I feel like I'm 238 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 3: more of a liability than anything being able to go 239 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 3: back into the workforce because you know, if anything happens, like, 240 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 3: it's on me too, you know, go And so now 241 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 3: I've got a kids in that. 242 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: Give us a live example. 243 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,959 Speaker 3: You know, it's gone on me to you know, drop 244 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 3: everything and go and you know, fix that kid. You know, 245 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 3: whether that be you know, they've hit their head or 246 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:18,040 Speaker 3: whether they're you know, fallen over or sick or whatever 247 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 3: it may be. You know, it's never the partner that 248 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,680 Speaker 3: has to go. It's always, you know, the female that 249 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 3: has to go. And I don't think there's enough support 250 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:29,600 Speaker 3: in the workplace, you know, to assist women to be 251 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 3: able to get back into the workplace, if that makes. 252 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,319 Speaker 1: Sense the part of it. Yeah, yeah, I feel that, 253 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: Mattie good point. Thank you. 254 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 2: We're sort of like the first generation with it. The 255 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 2: men are expected to do as much parenting. 256 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 1: I hope, So I hope. So yeah, don't you reckon, 257 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: like I really hope. So it's funny though, like I've 258 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 1: kind of I told you, I had a single parent 259 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: for a week, and by the way, kind of say, 260 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: if you're a single parent out there, someone should be 261 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,320 Speaker 1: washing your feet every morning. You are a marvel like. Truly, 262 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: I'm still washing my kids to look after that's the tragedy. 263 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: They couldn't even have their feet washed. But I realized 264 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: as a dad that I one hundred percent subconsciously absolved 265 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: myself of some responsibilities because I have societal not pressure, 266 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: but conformity where I go, well, that's mum's job. And 267 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: I did that, and then I got to the week 268 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: one on one and I couldn't do that anymore. And 269 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 1: it was quite scary to realize how much of the 270 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:28,000 Speaker 1: slack I wasn't picking up. And that's a hard thing 271 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: for me to admit. People might come for me there, 272 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: and I appreciate that, but I think if you're really 273 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 1: honest with yourself, to really roll your sleeves up and 274 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: do all the work, yeah, I gotta admit I definitely 275 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 1: definitely gave a lot of that stuff to Sam without 276 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: thinking about it, and I'd like to think that I didn't. 277 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: And maybe that's because back to what we're talking about here, 278 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:49,080 Speaker 1: which is this idea of did I have kids too soon? 279 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,719 Speaker 1: Was I not aware of what I was willing to 280 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 1: give up? Maybe there's part of me that has a 281 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,560 Speaker 1: daughter now. And again we're talking about parents not being 282 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,320 Speaker 1: honest about the fact that sometimes having a kid can 283 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: be shared. Sometimes I reckon, I'm like, I'm not going 284 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: to devote my time there because i still want to 285 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: go and live my life, which eventually the rubber has 286 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: to meet the road, and you can't like and that. Yeah, 287 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 1: there's another reason not to have a child. 288 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 5: Brother. 289 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:17,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still on the fence. I haven't been convinced 290 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 2: either way. 291 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: You're firmly in the no child camp, right, No, No, What 292 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 1: a lovely place to meet where all the whipper snappers 293 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 1: can't reach you. 294 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 3: Hear more of the boys on the full podcast just 295 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,360 Speaker 3: scroll up.