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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now spoiler alert as well, we didn't have a night

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Speaker 1: off without the kids. In the end, we had to

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Speaker 1: take a couple of kids to Brisbane whe us they

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Speaker 1: had to stay at the grandparents. We did a whole

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Speaker 1: lot of extra running around. We didn't get the hotel room.

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Speaker 1: We ended up staying at your parents. It wasn't quite

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Speaker 1: the night away that we wanted. It was anything but.

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Speaker 2: And now here's the stars of our show.

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Speaker 1: My mom and dad. Every Friday on the Happy Families podcast,

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Speaker 1: we do this thing called I'll do Better Tomorrow, and

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about doing better tomorrow Today. Shortly,

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Speaker 1: we just reflect on the week that was and figure

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Speaker 1: out how it can be better. Parents. My name's Justin.

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Speaker 1: I'm here with Kylie, my wife from UM to our

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Speaker 1: six kids. Today though we've got a few housekeeping things

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Speaker 1: to take care of.

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Speaker 2: Kylie, can I have your housekeeping list? Please? Can we

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Speaker 2: swap for.

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Speaker 1: The day housekeeping?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I see, I know where you're going. You like my

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Speaker 1: housekeeping better than your housekeeping because you get to.

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Speaker 2: Sit in air condition room while you do your housekeeping.

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Speaker 1: You're saying that your housekeeping is different to mine.

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Speaker 2: I've done the dish just three times today already.

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Speaker 1: That's a lot. That is a lot. I think that

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Speaker 1: I am the dishwasher in our home though, especially since

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Speaker 1: our dish yeah, well I was at work. Was at work. Hey,

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Speaker 1: So a couple of housekeeping things that really I'd like

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Speaker 1: to get into. The first one it just comes down

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Speaker 1: to this idea of stranger danger. I want to play

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Speaker 1: something that popped up on Upworthy the other day. This

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Speaker 1: is from an Instagram account owned by the Marsi Whalen.

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Speaker 1: We talk about how kids can stay safe, how we

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Speaker 1: can help our kids to be safe on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Every few months. We make sure we bring it up.

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Speaker 1: It's an important topic, but it's sometimes nice to just

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Speaker 1: hear someone else talk about it, same concepts but a

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Speaker 1: slightly different way. And I thought this was important. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't need an entire podcast, but it's a great reminder

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Speaker 1: for every parent when it comes to issues of kids

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Speaker 1: safety and strangers. This is what the Marsi Whalen had

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Speaker 1: to say about stranger danger.

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Speaker 3: Here's why Dan and I don't teach our girls about

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Speaker 3: strangers or stranger danger and while that can be healthy,

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Speaker 3: and I understand where it's coming from. Right. Parents are

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Speaker 3: trying to protect their kids, keep them safe. But most

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Speaker 3: people are good people, and we want our girls to

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Speaker 3: be outgoing and have conversations with people and to in general,

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Speaker 3: you know, be hospitable to those around them. And so

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Speaker 3: instead of talking about strangers, we talk about strange behavior.

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Speaker 3: Because the thing is children are most often abused or

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Speaker 3: hurt by people they know, whether it's a close family

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Speaker 3: member and acquaintance, it's very rarely a stranger. And so

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Speaker 3: I want my kids to understand what strange behavior is.

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Speaker 3: Asking them to keep a secret, Oh, this is just

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Speaker 3: between you and I, don't tell your parents. That's strange behavior.

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Speaker 3: Asking them to go somewhere with their mom and dad

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Speaker 3: strange behavior. And my girls understand what to look for.

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Speaker 3: Whether it's in somebody they know really well or somebody

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Speaker 3: they don't know at all, it's categorized as strange behavior,

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Speaker 3: and therefore their red flags go out. Anybody can have

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Speaker 3: strange behavior, whether we know them or not, and when

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Speaker 3: that starts to happen, they are immediately to come to.

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Speaker 2: I love this. We talk about tricky people in our

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Speaker 2: house a lot and this notion that it's not so

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Speaker 2: much strangers because could be anyone. But when we kind

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Speaker 2: of get into these situations where it just feels a

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Speaker 2: bit icky, it doesn't it just feels tricky. We're not

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Speaker 2: used to this particular way of behaving. Then these are

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Speaker 2: people we want to be wary of.

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Speaker 1: So we will linked to this in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: The idea that an adult would ask a child for help,

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Speaker 1: or that an adult would say this is just a

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Speaker 1: secret between the two of us, especially when it's not

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Speaker 1: a benign secret, like here's what I'm getting Mum for Christmas.

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Speaker 1: They're tricky kinds of things.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. I think it's a really intuitive

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Speaker 2: and powerful way to teach our children to keep them safe.

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Speaker 1: The Massy Whalen on Instagram is where you'll find it,

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Speaker 1: but we will link to it in the show notes. Now,

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Speaker 1: second piece of housekeeping is a new app that I

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Speaker 1: think many parents will be interested in. Again, rather doing

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Speaker 1: an entire podcast, I just want to let the word

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Speaker 1: be out there. There's a new app called cab Caboose

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Speaker 1: is changing lives. It gives people who have asd add

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Speaker 1: and other neurodiversion conditions a safe and supported place to

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Speaker 1: find their tribe and create meaningful relationships. From the media release,

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Speaker 1: Caboose was built by a Melbourne mum who had a

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Speaker 1: child who just struggled through his adolescent years because of

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Speaker 1: his neurodiversity, like massive, massive challenges and basically the way

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Speaker 1: the award winning app works is it matches people who

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Speaker 1: are neurodivergent with others of a similar age who have

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Speaker 1: the same interests, so they can form a bond and

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Speaker 1: they can relate to them. And there's a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of identity verification, consistent monitoring, so it's secure, it's supportive,

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Speaker 1: and it's helping thousands of people around the world to

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Speaker 1: find friends and mentors and employers. Just finding your tribe

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Speaker 1: when you're neurodivergent, it's so much harder than being neurotypical,

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Speaker 1: and this is an app that seems to be be

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Speaker 1: really helpful there. It's a new social media app called Caboose.

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Speaker 1: We'll link to it in the show notes. A quick

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Speaker 1: caveat on this we haven't tried it, we don't know

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Speaker 1: exactly how it works. But Michelle Ridsdale, the Melbourne mum

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Speaker 1: who has put it together, seems to have done a

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Speaker 1: really nice job on it, and Kylie, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: say it looks like the kind of app that parents

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Speaker 1: would really respond well too, and kids who are neurodiverse

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Speaker 1: would really respond well too.

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Speaker 2: What's your other bit of housework?

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Speaker 1: You're saying that like you don't want to it's not housework.

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Speaker 1: It's housekeeping. It's housekeeping. So we received some feedback. I

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Speaker 1: want to just mention the feedback. We got an email

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Speaker 1: from Beth h. Beth said, in fact, she sent us

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Speaker 1: a voicemail, but it was just a bit too long

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Speaker 1: for us to play. But she basically said the episode

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Speaker 1: that you did about Roald Dahal and censoring of books.

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Speaker 1: She said, I don't like Roll Dally either. I don't

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Speaker 1: like him one a little bit. But can we have

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Speaker 1: a broader conversation about the content that kids are reading

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Speaker 1: and watching for entertainment purposes? Because Roll is horrible, and

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Speaker 1: so is so much other stuff that's out there for kids,

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Speaker 1: including a whole lot of Disney stuff. And I thought,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've got a good point, and I just

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Speaker 1: want to acknowledge the email. I don't know when in

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Speaker 1: the next little while we'll get to an episode about that,

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Speaker 1: but I thought she was under something and I wanted

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Speaker 1: to mention it. There is one more housekeeping item. If

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Speaker 1: I may miss happy.

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Speaker 2: Fan, we'll get the dust cloth out come on.

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Speaker 1: Okay, last week I made a really big deal that

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Speaker 1: you and I were getting a night off from the

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Speaker 1: kids and we were going to go and see a

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Speaker 1: concert at q Pac Richard marks.

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Speaker 2: Spoiler alert. I stayed away.

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Speaker 1: You did spoiler alert as well. We didn't have a

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Speaker 1: night off without the kids. In the end, we had

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Speaker 1: to take a couple of kids to Brisbane with us.

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Speaker 1: They had to stay at the grandparents. We did a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of extra running around. We didn't get the

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Speaker 1: hotel room. We ended up staying at your parents. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't quite the.

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Speaker 2: Night away that we wanted.

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Speaker 1: It was anything but a couple of other points. Number one,

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Speaker 1: I think that I might be the only person on

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Speaker 1: the planet, well you and I together, who are not

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Speaker 1: into lots of swearing. Like even Richard Marx, he's like

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Speaker 1: a sixty year old soft rocker. I can't believe how

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Speaker 1: many swear words he used in his concert, like.

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Speaker 2: He was very explicit.

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Speaker 1: Everybody seems like you watch a TV show, it's just

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Speaker 1: so much swearing everywhere. Anyway, outside of that great show,

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Speaker 1: had a really fun night. I don't think that you

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Speaker 1: enjoyed it as much as I did, and I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: say I loved it, but it was a really nice show.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I did enjoy it?

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Speaker 1: What did you enjoy?

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Speaker 2: I enjoyed that you held my hand be whole night

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Speaker 2: and that I actually got to watch the concert through

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Speaker 2: your eyes because there were moments where I could just

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Speaker 2: see your whole face lit up and you just you

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Speaker 2: loved it.

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Speaker 1: I love love music. It really connects with me.

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Speaker 2: Favorite song for you, hands down, it was when You

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Speaker 2: Loved Me. I've never heard the song before, but he

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Speaker 2: shared the fact that when he was writing the song

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Speaker 2: and recording it in his home studio, his three young

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Speaker 2: boys at the time independently came and told him that

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Speaker 2: they liked the song.

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Speaker 1: So I've got to jump in really quickly. His Curnam

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Speaker 1: is Mars and he made a joke on the night

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Speaker 1: that he's got three sons and they are therefore the

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Speaker 1: Marx Brothers, like the comedy troup the Marx Brothers with

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Speaker 1: Groucho Marx and well.

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Speaker 2: He also told us that John Farnam got some skit

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Speaker 2: as well, so skid marks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's terrible. I do remember you saying I do

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Speaker 1: remember him saying that now that you mentioned it. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: So there's this song.

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Speaker 2: Anyway. It's actually a really lovely song. But each of

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Speaker 2: the boys had come and told him independently that they

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Speaker 2: really liked the song, and so when he was coming

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Speaker 2: out to do this tour, he actually had this brainwave

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Speaker 2: and thought, what if I get the boys together, because

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Speaker 2: they're all in their own write accomplished musicians, and get

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Speaker 2: them to record the song with him. And what I

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Speaker 2: loved was he obviously was singing live, and the boys

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Speaker 2: were up on the screen.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, playing the video in the background.

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Speaker 2: And I loved seeing number one that they were so

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Speaker 2: uniquely their own person and yet when they sang, they

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Speaker 2: were so himny. It was just like one voice and

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Speaker 2: to see, you know, he shared little bits and pieces

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Speaker 2: about who they were and what they were up to

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Speaker 2: in their lives, but it just it was so I

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Speaker 2: loved the unity that it created. And obviously the song

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Speaker 2: has this beautiful message of love.

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Speaker 1: At a great pairing moment as well. He's a sixty

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Speaker 1: year old rocker hanging out with his thirty year old

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Speaker 1: sons or they're around about thirty years old and they're

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Speaker 1: still together. They're still hanging out there making music together.

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Speaker 1: They're being involved in one of his lives. It was

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Speaker 1: a really nice moment. I'm with you. I thought that

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Speaker 1: was great. My favorite moment of the night was the

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Speaker 1: final song of the night.

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Speaker 2: I mean, in the final fifteen songs, I.

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Speaker 1: Was so good. So we're not going to boy with

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Speaker 1: heaps of detail, but to be brief at the end

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Speaker 1: of the night, he's a guitarist, right, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: know that he could really play the piano. I mean,

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Speaker 1: anyone can play if you sit down and fiddle around,

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Speaker 1: you can play right here waiting. That was the last

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Speaker 1: song of the night, and you might kind of think, oh,

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Speaker 1: what a boring way to finish, Like that's a slow song,

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Speaker 1: it's a ballad, but his biggest hit. But he sits

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Speaker 1: down at the piano and the crowd just goes wild,

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Speaker 1: and he goes, I know, what are you thinking? You

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Speaker 1: think that you know? And how predictable here I am

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Speaker 1: playing right here wanting on the piano. But that's not

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Speaker 1: actually what he did. He sat down on the piano.

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Speaker 1: He's actually quite a pianist. He just started playing a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of songs like this.

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Speaker 4: One that's taking you back, and the whole crowd is like, man,

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Speaker 4: he can sing, and he can play the piano as

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Speaker 4: well as the guitar, and then he got funny, just kidding, and.

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Speaker 1: Then he just started blasting, like you said, like another

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Speaker 1: I don't know, eight songs on the piano. He didn't

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Speaker 1: play the whole thing. He just played little snippets here

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Speaker 1: and there, bit by bit, and finally, after leading us

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Speaker 1: on for I think it must have been I do know,

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Speaker 1: four five minutes something like that. So he's got everyone

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Speaker 1: laughing and having a ball, and then finally there it is,

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Speaker 1: and the crag goes well, and he got trained at

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Speaker 1: the crowd because he'd been joking a lot, so he

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Speaker 1: was actually really entertaining. He was a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: And I still think it was a oh gosh, listen

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Speaker 1: to that song, How good is it? Oh Jesus, all right,

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Speaker 1: we'll stop there, and the whole crowd saying it was

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Speaker 1: the big taught song to end the night, and everyone

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Speaker 1: loved it. And that's the end of our housekeeping. So

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Speaker 1: four big things we got feedback. We've got the autism

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Speaker 1: app caboost We've got the importance of not talking about

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Speaker 1: strange danger, and we got to have our night away

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Speaker 1: without the kids. That ended up not being a night

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Speaker 1: away without the kids, but we still at least got

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Speaker 1: to watch a concert. So much for old do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: We need to talk about what we've learned about parenting

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Speaker 1: in the last week. Otherwise people are going to feel

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Speaker 1: ripped off. I hope this hasn't been overly indulgent. There's

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Speaker 1: only one indulgent thing. The rest of it was important.

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Speaker 1: Let's do that now.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know what you were planning on talking about,

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Speaker 2: but we've had a really, really big week in our house.

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Speaker 1: I'll guarantee it was the same thing. It was that

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Speaker 1: really big thing where our daughter went away to the

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Speaker 1: UK for eighteen months and we said goodbye to We're

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Speaker 1: at the airport. We're never going to see her again.

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Speaker 2: So for the last few weeks, I'll do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: I've specifically have shared how hard it is to kind

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Speaker 2: of let go, and each of our children are going

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Speaker 2: through different stages of that letting go process. But like

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Speaker 2: you suggested on Monday, we actually said goodbye to Abby,

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Speaker 2: our second daughter, and we've been waiting for this for

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Speaker 2: quite some time. This has been a decision that she's

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Speaker 2: really had to wrestle with for many years. And what

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Speaker 2: I thought was actually going to be really hard was

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Speaker 2: just beautifully peaceful. Yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So for people who are not familiar with what's going

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Speaker 1: on in our church, kids go away when they're eighteen,

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Speaker 1: nineteen twenty something like that. They go away and spend

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Speaker 1: some time as missionaries for well, I mean, it's not compulsory,

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Speaker 1: it's completely voluntary, but they paid their own way. And

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Speaker 1: while they're gone, there's no dating, there's no movies, there's

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Speaker 1: no I don't know, like recreation and swimming and hanging out.

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Speaker 1: It's just you go there and you work like proper

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Speaker 1: missionary work, irving others. And it's a really big deal too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, in Abbey's case, she's flown literally to the

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Speaker 1: other side of the world. She's left the twenty eight

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Speaker 1: to thirty degree sunshine coast, beautiful summer weather, and landed

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Speaker 1: in four degrees four degrees at leeds four. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we don't even know what four degrees feels like, and

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Speaker 1: that's their maximum. That's crazy. And she's going to spend

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Speaker 1: the next eighteen months doing missionary work, putting off any

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Speaker 1: desires that she has for what she might want for

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Speaker 1: her life, and literally focused on helping other people. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's a really big deal and she's doing it literally

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Speaker 1: on her own. She got on the plane and said goodbye,

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Speaker 1: and that was it.

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Speaker 2: In preparation to her going, she actually spent a week

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Speaker 2: at home doing missionary training. So because of the time lapse,

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Speaker 2: she was up at midnight, studied all through the night,

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Speaker 2: and would go to bed pretty much once I took

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Speaker 2: the kids to school in the morning. And as I

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Speaker 2: watched her go through this process, so I was saying,

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Speaker 2: this is ridiculous. She should just get on the plane

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Speaker 2: and like get over there and just be there face

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Speaker 2: to face and deal with everything. But it was interesting

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Speaker 2: watching it all kind of unfold and just seeing her

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Speaker 2: able to kind of ease her way into this hard thing,

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Speaker 2: like this is hard. It is really seeing her ease

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Speaker 2: her way into it still within the comfort of her

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Speaker 2: own home. And what I watched was this kid who

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Speaker 2: I was thinking, how the heck is she going to

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Speaker 2: make it through eighteen months? Grow up run in front

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Speaker 2: of me, and she took on each challenge like headfirst

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Speaker 2: and just gave it everything to the point where she

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Speaker 2: got to the stage where we got dropped her off

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Speaker 2: at the airport, and they weren't really any tears, Like

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Speaker 2: she was so excited to get on that plane and

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Speaker 2: get over there and meet these people who she's seen

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Speaker 2: online for the last week and they're going to become

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Speaker 2: her buddies for the next three weeks before she actually

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Speaker 2: goes out there and does it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she did have a bit of a cry apparently

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Speaker 1: once she got on the and realized this is actually it.

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Speaker 2: No, she was she was fine because she flew from

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Speaker 2: her richie door and then she went to Sydney, met

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Speaker 2: up with your parents. She was all good. She got

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Speaker 2: through customs on the other end and she.

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Speaker 1: Lost lost it. She lost her emotions and she lost it.

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Speaker 2: She called me just sobbing, she said, I think it's

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Speaker 2: finally hit me. But was so beautiful, and you talk

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Speaker 2: about tricky behaviors instead of tricky people and stranger danger

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Speaker 2: and all of that. What I loved was your mum

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Speaker 2: actually was standing in line with her check her into

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Speaker 2: the next phase of the trip, and she kind of

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Speaker 2: just noticed a woman behind her, and so she reached

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Speaker 2: out to her asked where she was flying to, found

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Speaker 2: out that they were actually going through all the way

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Speaker 2: to Manchester together, and so she just acknowledged that Abby

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Speaker 2: was traveling for the first This is literally the first

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Speaker 2: time she's got on a plane traveling alone, traveling alone,

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Speaker 2: and she had multiple stopovers, stopping in Sydney, then stopping

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Speaker 2: in Qatar, and then finally arriving in Manchester and hoping

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Speaker 2: someone's going to be there to meet her, and having

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Speaker 2: no idea, honestly, no idea what this was going to

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Speaker 2: look like. And so this woman, Amanda, bless her heart, yeah, Angel,

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Speaker 2: she just checked in with Abby at each stop, made

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Speaker 2: sure she was okay. Abby had no idea what to

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Speaker 2: do with the currency she had in her pocket.

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Speaker 1: She bought her food when they arrived in Katar, I mean,

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Speaker 1: how good is that?

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Speaker 2: And then we got to the other end and Abby

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Speaker 2: was down a bag. So she took two suitcases. One

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Speaker 2: suitcase did not arrive, and she had actually said to

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Speaker 2: Amanda after a first one arrived and Amanda got her,

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Speaker 2: She's like, I'm okay, you're welcome to God. She said, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I'll make sure everything's right before I leave, And only

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Speaker 2: to find out that her second bag didn't come through,

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Speaker 2: and so she was able to take her through to

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Speaker 2: baggage claims make sure everything was sortid. They found a bag,

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Speaker 2: they know where it is and she will have it

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Speaker 2: in a few days. And she has no class and

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Speaker 2: she's in.

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Speaker 1: Four degree where But you know what I love about

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Speaker 1: that is we can trust people around us, whether we're

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Speaker 1: dealing with little kids or big kids, we can trust

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Speaker 1: people around us. There are good people there. And ultimately,

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Speaker 1: what we're experiencing, and I guess the reason that we

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Speaker 1: wanted to share it in our podcast today is you

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Speaker 1: raise these kids for twenty years or eighteen years or

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Speaker 1: whatever ends up being, and then one day they push

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Speaker 1: off out into the world. And it's really sad in

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Speaker 1: so many ways to see them go. It really, even

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Speaker 1: as we talk about it now, I'm affected by it.

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Speaker 1: But it's also thrilling. It's so exciting to see these

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Speaker 1: kids that we send our heart into the world and

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Speaker 1: off they go, and she's doing it. She's living her

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Speaker 1: life now. It's like that little bird that got pushed

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Speaker 1: out of the nest and it started to fly.

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Speaker 2: What I've noticed, you know, this is now the second

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Speaker 2: time we've said goodbye to a child, and it was

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Speaker 2: the same with baby number one. As they progress and

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Speaker 2: I'm preparing myself to say goodbye when the time's right,

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Speaker 2: it actually just feels amazing. It feels amazing to know

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Speaker 2: that you've actually prepared this child enough that they're ready

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Speaker 2: to jump, yeah, to jump, and they're excited about what

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Speaker 2: the world has installed for them, and I just I do.

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Speaker 2: I feel so much excitement and anticipation. I can't think

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Speaker 2: of a better place that I or a better thing

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Speaker 2: that she could be doing with her life right now.

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Speaker 2: And she's excited, and she's doing it because she wants to,

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Speaker 2: not because I've given her this arbitrary list of this

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Speaker 2: is what you need to do to become an adult,

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Speaker 2: or this is this is next steps for you. What

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Speaker 2: do you want to do with your life? This is

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Speaker 2: what I want to do. That's amazing well, and we

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Speaker 2: are here to support you all the way.

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Speaker 1: Our time is up for today's podcast, but I'm glad

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Speaker 1: we got to share that. I might also add that

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Speaker 1: first child that we sent off into the world, she

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Speaker 1: got married and she's living her life now. She and

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Speaker 1: her husband have recently moved to the Sunshine Past and

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Speaker 1: it looks like she's moved back in because they're over

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Speaker 1: at our place three nights a week for dinner and

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Speaker 1: two mornings a week for breakfast. And it's kind of like, oh,

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Speaker 1: hang on, have you got your own place or not.

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Speaker 1: They're like, yeah, but we like your place better than

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Speaker 1: cooking is really good. They go away, but they come back.

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Speaker 1: That's our older better tomorrow for today. Anything I'll see

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Speaker 1: you on to add before we wrap up.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rowland from

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Speaker 1: Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for listening to the podcast. We really hope

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Speaker 1: that you enjoy what you hear and that it helps

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Speaker 1: you to find the joy in your parenting journey. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for listening. For more information, you can check out Happy

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Speaker 1: families dot com dot au. Oh and a quick reminder

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Speaker 1: as well, if you want to be more resilient as

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Speaker 1: a parent, next Thursday night. Next Thursday night, we're going

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Speaker 1: to be putting on a free webinar for you. That's

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Speaker 1: the ninth of March free webinar, The Resilient Parent. This

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Speaker 1: is not a parenting webinar. This is a webinar for parents,

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Speaker 1: not about raising kids, but about being more resilient yourself.

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Speaker 1: All the details that you need are at our Facebook

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Speaker 1: page doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families