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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time Paul parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers.

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Speaker 1: Now today, somebody that I'm just alighted to talk with

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Speaker 1: again on the podcast. He's been on The Happy Family

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Speaker 1: Podcast a couple of times now. Paul Dylan. He is

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Speaker 1: an author, an education consultant. He is also the director

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Speaker 1: of Data, Drug and Alcohol Research and Training Australia. Paul

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Speaker 1: has been speaking to I don't know, something like seven

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Speaker 1: hundred bajillion kids and parents and educators on an every day,

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Speaker 1: every year basis. I don't know any speaker in Australia

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Speaker 1: who has booked out as much as Paul Dylan. And

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Speaker 1: he's kindly taken a little bit of time to have

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Speaker 1: a chat with us today because school is just around

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Speaker 1: the corner. Paul, you've got a bit of a frog

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Speaker 1: in your throat and you're not one hundred percent, so

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Speaker 1: really appreciate that you've taken some time to have a

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Speaker 1: chat about something that a lot of parents of school

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Speaker 1: leaders are starting to get little bit worried about right now.

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Speaker 2: Not a problem, justin thank you very much for inviting

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Speaker 2: me to be a part of it again. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: unfortunately throat in fiction. So apologies to anyone listening. It

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Speaker 2: does sound a little bit like mixed between Rod Stewart

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Speaker 2: and Brenda Acaro. At the moment, it's not a particularly

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Speaker 2: pleasant sound.

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Speaker 1: Well, we talked about changing the time, but you insisted

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Speaker 1: that we should do it today and I'm grateful. So

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Speaker 1: at the moment a year twelve wrapping up. We're in

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Speaker 1: the early part of November. We've got kids that are

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Speaker 1: heading off to schoolies in the next couple of weeks.

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Speaker 1: It's only just around the corner now, Gold Coast, Victor

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Speaker 1: Harbor and South Australia. In WA it's called the Lever's

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Speaker 1: Party or the Leaver's Time. I've got a daughter who's

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Speaker 1: doing Year twelve right now. She's thinking about going to

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Speaker 1: Barley with a couple of friends. I have reservations about that, Paul,

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Speaker 1: and so I just want to have a chat with

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Speaker 1: you about the general school is vibe. You've been to

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Speaker 1: schools a few times as an older observer and have

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Speaker 1: participated in some of the organizational aspects of it. What

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Speaker 1: would you think Because the media hypes it up right,

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Speaker 1: the media says schoolies is a couple of weeks of

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Speaker 1: Year twelve school leavers, debauchery and drunkenness, and anything that

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Speaker 1: you can imagine going wrong will go wrong. What's your

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Speaker 1: experience and would you agree with that general media hope.

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Speaker 2: Well, I've been to quite a few schoolings events over

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Speaker 2: the years.

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Speaker 3: Recently.

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Speaker 2: I think I went to the Gold Coast one in

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Speaker 2: twenty nineteen, just before COVID, and I went to the

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Speaker 2: Victor Harvill when I think in maybe twenty sixteen. The

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Speaker 2: other one is a little bit long ago. But look,

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Speaker 2: in my experience, I find I've found them to be

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Speaker 2: incredibly well organized. Young people are out to absolutely have

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Speaker 2: a good time. But did I see incredibly poor drunken

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Speaker 2: behavior and kids lying around in gutters and fights and

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Speaker 2: things like that. Absolutely not. No, that doesn't mean it

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Speaker 2: doesn't happen. Of course, those kind of stories, and we

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Speaker 2: have had some tragedies occur over it over the years

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Speaker 2: at schools events. But for the most part, I think

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Speaker 2: these are very well organized. And if young people go

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Speaker 2: to those well organized events, those ones that like the

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Speaker 2: Gold Coast one, for example, Victor Harbor in Wa It's bustleton,

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Speaker 2: they actually have a really good time. And I think parents,

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Speaker 2: for the most part, can be fairly confident that their

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Speaker 2: kids are as safe as possible.

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Speaker 1: I think that this distinction is probably pretty important for

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Speaker 1: most parents. I know that Barley's becoming increasingly popular. Before

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Speaker 1: we chatted on the podcast just now, you were mentioning

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Speaker 1: Fiji is really becoming quite popular for Sydney siders and

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Speaker 1: maybe those in Melbourne as well. And Byron Bay has

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Speaker 1: obviously started to really escalate in the last few years

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Speaker 1: with Byron Bays and just the hype around the place.

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Speaker 1: They're not all organized and there's a lot of stuff

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Speaker 1: that happens even on the Gold Coast, Victor Harbor, Buston, wherever,

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Speaker 1: where there are kids that are doing stuff not at

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Speaker 1: the organized activities. And your real specialty is alcohol and

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Speaker 1: are the drugs The risks that kids are facing, I

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Speaker 1: presume are essentially going to be drug related. Is that reasonable?

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Speaker 3: Certainly alcohol related, I mean that's really what it is.

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Speaker 2: Other drugs certainly come into it for some young people,

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Speaker 2: but the vast majority, it is alcohol that is the

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Speaker 2: most significant issue, because I mean many of them will

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Speaker 2: be eighteen and certainly they can access alcohol if they

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Speaker 2: don't access if they can't access it themselves. Quite often

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Speaker 2: the parents are providing it to them, So alcohol is

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Speaker 2: the absolutely number one Look the last couple of school

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Speaker 2: with events I went to, certainly it was obvious that

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Speaker 2: there was more illisted drug use than I.

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Speaker 3: Had seen in the previous years.

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Speaker 2: Certainly not completely kind of crazy, and you know, you

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Speaker 2: weren't seeing open drug markets and in the middle of

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Speaker 2: the street or anything like that. I think what we

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Speaker 2: have to remember is that young people are their adolescents.

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Speaker 3: Their brains are wide in a different way.

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Speaker 2: They don't always make the best decisions, and what's happening

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Speaker 2: is they're all kind of a mass in this one place,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, things can go wrong and bad decisions can

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Speaker 2: be made. But I think it all really comes down

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Speaker 2: to the foundations that parents have set years and years

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Speaker 2: before when it comes to these kind of situations. If

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Speaker 2: they have good, strong family values they have, a young

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Speaker 2: person is not going to all of a sudden make

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Speaker 2: a decision to take them the legal drug if it's

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Speaker 2: just not in them to do that.

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Speaker 3: But certainly those young people.

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Speaker 2: Who want to do that are going to be able

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Speaker 2: to access them in these environments.

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Speaker 3: I think the real concern.

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Speaker 2: About school is that has occurred over the recent times

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Speaker 2: is this move to for some reason to transport your

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Speaker 2: child to another country. I mean, that is just beyond me.

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Speaker 2: I mean, why would you think that it would be

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Speaker 2: a good idea for school leavans to go to a

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Speaker 2: place like Bali. Fiji is exactly the same. These are

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Speaker 2: once again very much organized events. They go into a

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Speaker 2: resort and it's just massive. Young people are kept in

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Speaker 2: a resort in Fiji and then Ballei they kind of

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Speaker 2: go wild around. Yeah, this whole notion of parents thinking

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Speaker 2: that somehow that is safer than the Gold Coast, and

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Speaker 2: that is certainly one of the reasons why parents started

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Speaker 2: sending their kids to Fiji. They didn't want to send

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Speaker 2: them to the Gold Coast. They perceived that as far.

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Speaker 3: More dangerous, and it was kind of like have you

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Speaker 3: been there?

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Speaker 2: You know, all they're seeing is the media and not

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Speaker 2: realizing that actually it is a very well controlled event. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I've got my third daughter finishing year twelve just now,

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Speaker 1: and she's still up in the air about whether or

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Speaker 1: not to go with a few of her friends. They're

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Speaker 1: going to Bali. The prices are astronomical now, and I

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Speaker 1: don't think she's going to be there. But we're having

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Speaker 1: these ongoing conversations, we'd rather stay here.

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Speaker 2: To be quite honest, if you're asking to go to Bali,

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Speaker 2: you're on a very specific type of holiday. You want

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Speaker 2: to be away from mum and dad as far as

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Speaker 2: humanly possible, and it's a drinking holiday Ballei. To be honest,

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Speaker 2: I mean, if you look at most young people who

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Speaker 2: are going, you speak to the red Frogs who go

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Speaker 2: there for Bali, they say it's a very different culture

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Speaker 2: than the ones who would go to say, for example,

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Speaker 2: the Gold Coastal Barron.

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Speaker 1: This is doctor Justin COURSONIM here with Paul Dylan. He's

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Speaker 1: a professional speaker, the head of data, and somebody who

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Speaker 1: knows more about what our kids are getting up to

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Speaker 1: when it comes to alcohol and other drugs than pretty

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Speaker 1: much anybody in the nation, if not the planet. Paul kids,

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Speaker 1: whether it's fifty percent or seventy percent or thirty percent,

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Speaker 1: there's going to be a whole lot of them at

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Speaker 1: schools this year, probably the biggest school is that we've

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Speaker 1: had in a few years, as a result of the

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Speaker 1: bounce back from the COVID restrictions. If parents have got

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Speaker 1: kids that are thinking of heading away, whether the organized

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Speaker 1: activities or to their own activities somewhere smaller with a

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Speaker 1: small group of friends. What do you think the top

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Speaker 1: three conversations are that we need to be having with them.

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Speaker 2: I always say the most important if you're worried about

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Speaker 2: if you're worried about them going. My number one question

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Speaker 2: I always say to parents you should ask your child

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Speaker 2: is tell me why I shouldn't be worried. It's a

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Speaker 2: really really, really really good question to ask young people

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Speaker 2: because it doesn't put them on the spot about what

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Speaker 2: are you going to do? Or I'm worried about you

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Speaker 2: doing this or worried about that. It's basically saying to them, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I want you to really think about it and give

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Speaker 2: me the reasons why I shouldn't be worried. And hopefully

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Speaker 2: what that does is it will it will encourage them

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Speaker 2: to kind of say, well, my friends have been put

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Speaker 2: putting this and this and this into place, we have

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Speaker 2: thought through this. You know, that kind of question is

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Speaker 2: really really powerful. And when I've tested that with kids

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Speaker 2: and said well what would you answer?

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Speaker 3: How would you answer that? With your parents? They come

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Speaker 3: up with great answers.

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Speaker 2: It's like, you know, oh, we will always have a

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Speaker 2: designated person you know who does not drink. We will

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Speaker 2: make sure that you know, we have a set amount

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Speaker 2: of alcohol and we do not drink anymore after that.

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Speaker 2: We don't go and purchase more afterwards. Simple things like

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Speaker 2: that that kids can come up with, and it will

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Speaker 2: lease parents' minds as well, because you know, these kids

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Speaker 2: are growing up and to be quite honest, school is

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Speaker 2: the last opportunity.

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Speaker 3: Parents will ever have to us. So it's kind of questions.

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Speaker 2: Because they're now, you know, they're now actually legally adults,

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Speaker 2: and to turn around and try to put restrictions on

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Speaker 2: young people when they're when when are older than eighteen.

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Speaker 3: Or over is really really hard.

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Speaker 2: Now, of course, what happens in your home is actually

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Speaker 2: you know, you have your rules about what happens at

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Speaker 2: home and if you want them to come home and

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Speaker 2: not come home drunk and blah blah blah blah blah. Absolutely,

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Speaker 2: to my mind, you abstlually have the right. They could

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Speaker 2: be thirty five years old. It's your rules and your family.

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Speaker 2: I mean, my father has that and I'm sixty two.

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Speaker 2: But I think when it comes to school, it's that

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Speaker 2: perfect opportunity to have that very last conversation about a

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Speaker 2: whole range of issues and really putting it onto their mouth.

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Speaker 3: How are you going to look after yourself? Show tell

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Speaker 3: me why I shouldn't be one.

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about one or two other conversation pieces

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Speaker 1: that we might have with our kids. Something that strikes

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Speaker 1: me is, and I've had this with two of my

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Speaker 1: kids already, I'm about to have it with a third one,

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Speaker 1: and that is, if anything happens, just call me. Like

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Speaker 1: you could literally be in the worst situation ever, Just

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Speaker 1: call me. Don't leave it to somebody else to ring,

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Speaker 1: don't leave it to your friends to get you out

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Speaker 1: of a situation. Just call me and I'll work out

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Speaker 1: what I can do to help you.

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Speaker 3: I always said to young people.

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Speaker 2: Also, I think what's very important is that the whole

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Speaker 2: idea of school this is quite frightening for an awful

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Speaker 2: lot of parents. So I say to like, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to w a and do a series of levers talks

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Speaker 2: that I just talk about leavers with some of the

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Speaker 2: year twelves that I've met over the years. And you know,

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Speaker 2: one of my big things I say to that your

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Speaker 2: parents are scared, So you know what, just be a

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Speaker 2: really great kid for three or four days that you're

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Speaker 2: away or have a long you're away for, just make

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Speaker 2: sure you call them at least once a day, not

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Speaker 2: a text, just a quick call say look, everything's fine,

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Speaker 2: I'm alive, and that's all you need because that kind

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Speaker 2: of stuff really cementsa createsor I think if parents put

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Speaker 2: a rule in about saying I need you to call

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Speaker 2: me every day, kind of thumb work. That kind of

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Speaker 2: stuff is, as you said, it's much more about pushing

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Speaker 2: down on kids. But I think to say to kids,

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Speaker 2: if you've got some of your your year twelve friends around,

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Speaker 2: you know, say to them, just make sure you call

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Speaker 2: you my more dad at least once a day, just

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Speaker 2: so that they know you're fine. It's a scary time.

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Speaker 3: Paul.

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Speaker 1: A great conversation, and I think a lot of parents

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Speaker 1: of your twelve kids will we appreciative of the things

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Speaker 1: that we've discussed today, the things that you've shared. Are

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Speaker 1: there any last words before we wrap this up?

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Speaker 2: Well, I think that the key is, and I've already

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Speaker 2: said it is I think parents need to remember that

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Speaker 2: school has offered them the very last opportunity, realistically to

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Speaker 2: have all of these conversations about safety. Because what school

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Speaker 2: is does is it kind of magnifies all of those

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Speaker 2: safety issues that they're going to be facing for the

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Speaker 2: next I mean, any parent who thinks that when they've

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Speaker 2: left school and they've got through, oh they've got to

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Speaker 2: the end of it, it hasn't even started. I mean,

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Speaker 2: eighteen to twenty five. It's a really scary kind of time.

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Speaker 2: And this is going to be your asked opportunity as

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Speaker 2: a parent to kind of open this conversation and hopefully

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Speaker 2: have that discussion about safety in a way that is

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Speaker 2: not emotionally charged, but to kind of say, look, I

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Speaker 2: love you, I care about you, and we just want

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Speaker 2: you to be safe, and bad things can happen, but

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Speaker 2: we put things into place, we trust each other. You know, well,

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Speaker 2: you can have a great time, memorable time that will

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Speaker 2: stay with you for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: Paul Dylan, the founder of Drug and Alcohol Research and Training,

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Speaker 1: Australia data professional, speaker, former school teacher, author and a

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Speaker 1: guy who knows his stuff. What a great and important conversation.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Paul, Thank you. Justin The Happy

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Speaker 1: Families podcast is produced by Justin Rowland from Bridge Media

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Speaker 1: and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. For more info

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Speaker 1: about the things we've talked about today. Check out Paul's website.

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Speaker 1: You can just google Paul. We'll link to him in

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Speaker 1: the show notes, and you'll also be able to find

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Speaker 1: out where he's giving talks for school students, parents, teachers,

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Speaker 1: and everyone else right around the nation. We'll link to

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Speaker 1: all of that, and if you'd like more information about

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Speaker 1: making you your family happier, visitors at happy families dot

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Speaker 1: com dot au

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Speaker 3: Mm hmm