1
00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:07,600
Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist,

2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,600
Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

3
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:16,160
Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

4
00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,920
Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly Failing with Lola Berry.

5
00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:44,920
Speaker 1: On today's episode, we have Lisel Jones aka Chicken. We've

6
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,440
Speaker 1: in mates for yonks, but aside from that, this girl

7
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:52,040
Speaker 1: is a four time Olympian, actually qualified for the Olympics

8
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 1: at the age of fourteen. She's won nine Olympic medals.

9
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:03,040
Speaker 1: She's pretty incredible. Let's call us di spade. She's super open,

10
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,800
Speaker 1: super vulnerable, been through many highs, many lows, and trigger

11
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 1: warning here we do talk about suicide, depression, and extreme dieting.

12
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:21,440
Speaker 1: I can't speak highly enough of Chicken. She really moved me.

13
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,600
Speaker 1: That's probably the best way to sum up this whole

14
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,559
Speaker 1: podcast in a word, or in a couple of words.

15
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:31,080
Speaker 1: She moved me, and she's a very courageous human being.

16
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,360
Speaker 1: And I really hope that you enjoyed this episode with

17
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:34,480
Speaker 1: Liesel Jones.

18
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,959
Speaker 2: Okay, we're already laughing.

19
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:44,280
Speaker 1: This is like bucket list moment, because when this podcast existed,

20
00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I've got to get chicken.

21
00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:50,240
Speaker 2: On Yeah, who is chicken? My name is Lethel Jones,

22
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,840
Speaker 2: a full time olympian nine.

23
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:57,320
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, yes, Okay, let's talk about some of

24
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,960
Speaker 1: that stuff because that's what Australia. He knows you as

25
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,440
Speaker 1: the Golden Girl lethal lease I heard it commentators say.

26
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 2: So.

27
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,560
Speaker 1: Last night Dad and I were watching all these old

28
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,880
Speaker 1: YouTube not old, but YouTube clips from like would it

29
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,359
Speaker 1: be the two thousand qualifiers?

30
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,880
Speaker 2: Probably? I would have been fourteen? Baby, do you paint

31
00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:18,680
Speaker 2: your nails?

32
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:19,000
Speaker 1: Yeah?

33
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,760
Speaker 2: Well, I had to distract myself somehow because I was

34
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:24,600
Speaker 2: only fourteen, so I was super nervous and everyone's watching

35
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:29,320
Speaker 2: at home, so I'll be distracting myself and like I.

36
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,400
Speaker 1: So, I can't believe I'm about to admit this to you.

37
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 1: I was watching that video and I started crying because

38
00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:37,920
Speaker 1: I was like, someone puts so much of their like

39
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,760
Speaker 1: life into and also I am invested in you. You

40
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,960
Speaker 1: and I have known each other for quite a while now,

41
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,800
Speaker 1: and we've got some pretty fun memories.

42
00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,440
Speaker 2: We've got really good memories. And that's the problem. I

43
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,680
Speaker 2: think when we catch up, there's just too much going

44
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,440
Speaker 2: on for us to we get We be.

45
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,680
Speaker 1: Gossiping for like the last half an hour and we're like,

46
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,800
Speaker 1: let's put the mics on because and I'm like, oh

47
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,600
Speaker 1: my god, this thing for the potty. So I hope

48
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,000
Speaker 1: you guys get to enjoy this and get to hear

49
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:11,120
Speaker 1: someone that there's such a true friendship here that's years.

50
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:14,720
Speaker 2: Old, many many years. And I think we will have

51
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,400
Speaker 2: to apologize now because we will talk over each other.

52
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 2: So I do apologize if I cut Lola off, and

53
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,239
Speaker 2: I'm sure, yeah, it's just it will be a very

54
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,200
Speaker 2: fast paced conversation, so you will have to keep up,

55
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:31,200
Speaker 2: but we will not respect each other's end of sentences.

56
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,080
Speaker 1: We're also both Virgos, very.

57
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,840
Speaker 2: Much so and fully in Virgo.

58
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, all your signs all virgo Ergo Berger.

59
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,240
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. I haven't had my chart read, but

60
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,640
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure.

61
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,040
Speaker 1: So I'm full Virgo. My boyfriend Matt is full Virgo.

62
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,520
Speaker 1: But I've got one one part of my sign is

63
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,320
Speaker 1: in Scorpio, and I'm like, oh, that makes such a fire.

64
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,720
Speaker 2: That makes a lot of sense to me, absolutely so

65
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,200
Speaker 2: inside I like it, but it would be interesting to

66
00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,240
Speaker 2: see what my is it? Venus rising.

67
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's got to when you're born. So they

68
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,880
Speaker 1: do like every planet and also like your moon rising

69
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 1: sun rising, so your sun rising is Virgo. That's right,

70
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,640
Speaker 1: and then there's anyway, there's so much we'll find we

71
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,680
Speaker 1: could go to that astrologer. Feel free to write in.

72
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,719
Speaker 2: Yes, if you would like to contact us, I would

73
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,960
Speaker 2: like my chart red please so I can actually see

74
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,240
Speaker 2: what's going on. But funny enough that this is a

75
00:04:26,279 --> 00:04:28,760
Speaker 2: total rabbit hole. We started off at Sydney two thousand

76
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,400
Speaker 2: hour in astrology, which we both love, but just watching

77
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,719
Speaker 2: I've really obsessed with YouTube tarot readings really lately. I've

78
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,360
Speaker 2: done some clips I will there's been a Virgo season,

79
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:44,320
Speaker 2: well it's Libra season as we're recording in October now,

80
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,520
Speaker 2: yes October it is Libra season. But for us Virgos

81
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,679
Speaker 2: it is very good.

82
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,680
Speaker 1: It's very very good.

83
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 2: We're really in alignment right now. We're very go getters,

84
00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:00,320
Speaker 2: achieving our dreams, which you're doing selling you.

85
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,600
Speaker 1: We're getting there. I think that's one thing about being

86
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,040
Speaker 1: a Burger, and I think that that's one thing that

87
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,200
Speaker 1: I've loved about you, even though people would see as negative.

88
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,919
Speaker 1: We are quite self critical, but in a quite a

89
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:11,600
Speaker 1: productive way.

90
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,679
Speaker 2: Oh. I think mine's not very predictive. So I think

91
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 2: confidence is a big thing. And probably outwardly I look

92
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,000
Speaker 2: very confident, but I don't feel very confident sometimes, so and.

93
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,919
Speaker 1: Let's talk about that. So, first of all, on the

94
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,480
Speaker 1: confidence thing, I think the thing with you is you're honest,

95
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,839
Speaker 1: and you're very real and you're very What you see

96
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,679
Speaker 1: is what you get. No bullshit here, which yes, because

97
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:45,080
Speaker 1: you're the same. But tell me about the confidence. Is

98
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,000
Speaker 1: that something we would say that you're in now or

99
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,800
Speaker 1: would you say that's something that stemmed from childhood?

100
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I've always had that. I think that's

101
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,799
Speaker 2: a thing where I've always So we work with some

102
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 2: emerging athletes, so who are looking at Olympics next year.

103
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,960
Speaker 2: And the story that I always tell is that I

104
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,920
Speaker 2: used to sit in the marshaling area and would look

105
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,120
Speaker 2: at my competitors and so one girl that I used

106
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,960
Speaker 2: to compete against, Amanda Beard. If you ever get the chance,

107
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,280
Speaker 2: google her. She was a playboy model. She was the

108
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,640
Speaker 2: most amazing person. She had big presence. If Amanda Beard

109
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,479
Speaker 2: walked in the room, you knew about it. It was

110
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:26,000
Speaker 2: big energy, big, and she was American and she was

111
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:31,040
Speaker 2: brash and she had the big American smile that they

112
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,400
Speaker 2: have and it took me a really long time to

113
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,680
Speaker 2: get over my fear of her. She would walk into

114
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,880
Speaker 2: the marshaling area, I thought, that's it, I'm done here.

115
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,680
Speaker 2: You know, she's already won it, and so but I

116
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,440
Speaker 2: never I don't know that throughout my entire career, I

117
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,520
Speaker 2: ever found that confidence that was genuine that I believed

118
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,039
Speaker 2: that I was capable and I wasn't just a kid

119
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,400
Speaker 2: from Queensland that grew up on a property and had

120
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,640
Speaker 2: horses and dogs and things like that was capable of

121
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,599
Speaker 2: winning gold. So it's really funny how you can be

122
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,520
Speaker 2: just that little kid inside. But the funny thing is

123
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,560
Speaker 2: what I've worked out after a very long time and

124
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,720
Speaker 2: after I was retired. Everyone has their own issues. Oh,

125
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,280
Speaker 2: everyone's going through the same stuff. Whether it's issues with parents,

126
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,520
Speaker 2: you know, relationships with your parents, or things going on

127
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:23,400
Speaker 2: at home, or boyfriends, or confidence issues or self esteem

128
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 2: or whatever it is, everyone's the same totally.

129
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,920
Speaker 1: And I think you and I have always shared that

130
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:32,200
Speaker 1: about about our stuff together. I guess we will be like, come,

131
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,840
Speaker 1: maybe a really shit time about this and you be like,

132
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:37,440
Speaker 1: I totally understand. And you helped me through a lot

133
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,080
Speaker 1: of things in my life and my career as well,

134
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,800
Speaker 1: so to your career and to the confidencing. And that's

135
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,640
Speaker 1: why I'm so glad you brought up confidence because I

136
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,720
Speaker 1: watched an interview with you last night and it would

137
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 1: have been London Olympics. You would have been twenty seven.

138
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,320
Speaker 1: Would you have been there?

139
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,640
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah, retired when I was twenty seven, Yeah.

140
00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:01,080
Speaker 1: Which is when the fat shaming happens. And I watched

141
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,280
Speaker 1: this interview and you were like, yeah, I'm not on

142
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,440
Speaker 1: a holiday guys like you were. So you spoke to

143
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,880
Speaker 1: media and they were like, how do you feel about

144
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,400
Speaker 1: this article which they've plastered fat shaming acting like that

145
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,880
Speaker 1: you were on a holiday. You weren't taught and trum

146
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:17,560
Speaker 1: enough to be an Olympian basically and ripped you to

147
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,920
Speaker 1: shreds and you and these micxitis at you and you're

148
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,920
Speaker 1: also there to compete for your country, and the way

149
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,000
Speaker 1: that you as a twenty seven year old, you were like, guys,

150
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,360
Speaker 1: you have to work so bloody hard to be on

151
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,920
Speaker 1: this team. I've taken no shortcuts. You've been You were

152
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,160
Speaker 1: really to me. You came across is so confident and

153
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 1: like slaying this bullshit that was going on. But it's

154
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,320
Speaker 1: interesting that you came across that way. You may not

155
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,640
Speaker 1: have been feeling.

156
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:47,439
Speaker 2: That way though probably at that point might have been

157
00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,120
Speaker 2: the time that I really did feel strongly about what

158
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:53,680
Speaker 2: I was feeling. And at the first instance when I

159
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,720
Speaker 2: found out about it, which was via my roommate Mel Schlanger,

160
00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:01,760
Speaker 2: who Mel right now she's married, she told me about it.

161
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,800
Speaker 2: So I wasn't on Twitter at the time, but I

162
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,679
Speaker 2: heard about it, And so having to face this was

163
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:10,000
Speaker 2: a moment where I thought, I'm going to have to

164
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 2: muster every bit of courage that I have just to

165
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,040
Speaker 2: walk out on pull deck. And I have since seen

166
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,719
Speaker 2: photos of that time, and I was carrying my gearbag,

167
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,000
Speaker 2: which is my fins and kickboard and all those sorts

168
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,720
Speaker 2: of things in front of my stomach because I was

169
00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,720
Speaker 2: so self conscious about it, and I could hear cameras clicking,

170
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,719
Speaker 2: I could hear them in the stands, I could hear

171
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,800
Speaker 2: everyone talking and whispering, and I just, yeah, it was

172
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,000
Speaker 2: just the most excruciating time. So I found all the

173
00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 2: courage to get that together, and I was very vocal

174
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,920
Speaker 2: about it because it struck something in me that I

175
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 2: was really passionate about. For other people. Yeah, so I

176
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,720
Speaker 2: think there has been times in your life, in my life,

177
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,760
Speaker 2: and so many women and some men across the world

178
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,680
Speaker 2: that they have been attacked for what they look like

179
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,240
Speaker 2: or I don't know, maybe that they are not up

180
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,840
Speaker 2: to the standard of competition. And I just felt so

181
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,880
Speaker 2: strongly on behalf of those people. I thought, this is wrong. Yeah,

182
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 2: how do you? And it came from a male journalist,

183
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,120
Speaker 2: some of who had never worked in swimming, and not

184
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,880
Speaker 2: a sports well a sports journalist, but rugby league, yeah,

185
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:18,960
Speaker 2: not swimming. We had so many great journalists that I

186
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,040
Speaker 2: trusted and loved, Nicole Jeffreys, Wayne Smith, We had really

187
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,320
Speaker 2: great journalists and it wasn't them. It was someone else

188
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,800
Speaker 2: that came in and permeated that trust that you worked

189
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,120
Speaker 2: so hard for. I had been on the Australian team

190
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,480
Speaker 2: for twelve years at this point, I had built so

191
00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,400
Speaker 2: many great relationships and someone came in from left of

192
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:42,199
Speaker 2: center and damaged all of that so with really hurtful comments.

193
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,160
Speaker 2: It felt really personal at the time.

194
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,560
Speaker 1: And absolutely absolutely what can I ask just to backtrack?

195
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,480
Speaker 1: When your mate told you, Meal was like, this has happened?

196
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:53,199
Speaker 1: What did she say?

197
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,959
Speaker 2: She said it in the nicest possible way. She's another

198
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,720
Speaker 2: virgo she's her birthday's a day after mine, and she said, look,

199
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,359
Speaker 2: there's there's something out there. You need to know about it.

200
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,600
Speaker 2: It is going to affect you. But just so you know,

201
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,520
Speaker 2: ninety nine percent of people are supporting you and backing.

202
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,560
Speaker 2: I thought, this is bad. What has happened. It's huge.

203
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,400
Speaker 2: It was really big. And I just remember because she

204
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,280
Speaker 2: was on her phone quite a lot that morning and

205
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,320
Speaker 2: I didn't know what she was doing. I just thought

206
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,600
Speaker 2: she was awakened, not sleeping very well. And so when

207
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,680
Speaker 2: she said that to me, my heart just sank and

208
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,320
Speaker 2: I thought, what has happened. I don't know how to

209
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,240
Speaker 2: deal with this. I don't know what's going on. So

210
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,079
Speaker 2: she said it in the nicest possible way, but brutal

211
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,640
Speaker 2: information to share with a friend who's your teammate and

212
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,559
Speaker 2: confidante and friend on the team. And she had to

213
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,360
Speaker 2: share that with me. So that was, i'm assuming, very

214
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,880
Speaker 2: hard for her to give.

215
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,360
Speaker 1: Also, can I just say, I've seen these photos. They're

216
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,360
Speaker 1: not bad photos, like they're getting you like bent over

217
00:11:50,679 --> 00:11:52,280
Speaker 1: in the most unflat like.

218
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:54,000
Speaker 2: You.

219
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,000
Speaker 1: To me, you look very fit, Yeah, look like a

220
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,040
Speaker 1: fit athlete.

221
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:03,320
Speaker 2: Well, be honest, I was not my fittest human nature,

222
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,120
Speaker 2: we go through changes. But what the big thing was?

223
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,280
Speaker 2: Twelve months earlier, I was put on antidepressants. So I

224
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,600
Speaker 2: was dealing with the fact that I had not only

225
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,160
Speaker 2: survived thinking about trigger warning here, but taking my own

226
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,880
Speaker 2: life and was in this place of if I don't

227
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,240
Speaker 2: have swimming, who am I? So big? Identity christ totally

228
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:28,080
Speaker 2: big broke my foundation basically this identity stuff. So I'm

229
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,400
Speaker 2: going through really big issues twelve months earlier.

230
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 1: But also, antidepressants make you put weight on it.

231
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,920
Speaker 2: Why does that happen?

232
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,080
Speaker 1: Was was it an SSRI like selective serotopy? Might not

233
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: ever remember it was, but usually the side effect is

234
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,679
Speaker 1: weight gain. And also when you're down, So when you're

235
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:49,960
Speaker 1: feeling down, you your the body craves carbohydrate and sugar, serotonin.

236
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, to make it, Yeah, to make you feel good,

237
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,239
Speaker 2: So sort of dumping those feel good hormones in your brain.

238
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,160
Speaker 1: So common to press put weight on. They are literally

239
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:57,719
Speaker 1: a hand in.

240
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:01,400
Speaker 2: Hand, that's right. And so I was deafly affected by that,

241
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,960
Speaker 2: and so I was just proud that I was there

242
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,040
Speaker 2: to start with. Absolutely I had worked my ass off

243
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,040
Speaker 2: to get there. I was definitely not on a holiday,

244
00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:13,880
Speaker 2: and I had earned my spot on the team. You

245
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,680
Speaker 2: have to make it under a certain time. You have

246
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,760
Speaker 2: to be first or second in Australia. So I had

247
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,679
Speaker 2: earned my spot on the team. I won sixth in

248
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,959
Speaker 2: my fifth or sixth in my event, I can't remember

249
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 2: what it was. And I was on the medley relay

250
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,360
Speaker 2: team which won silver. So you know, it's I gained

251
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,480
Speaker 2: so much strength from that time because I realized I

252
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,520
Speaker 2: worked so hard just to just to even be on

253
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 2: pool deck was a big thing for me. And I

254
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,000
Speaker 2: still won silver and in my pet event, my favorite event,

255
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,840
Speaker 2: which is a medley relay. So yeah, it's I take

256
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:47,640
Speaker 2: a lot of strength and courage because I had to

257
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,839
Speaker 2: dig deep. That was soul searching stuff big time. Yeah,

258
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,400
Speaker 2: and I have never and I hope i'd no. Actually

259
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 2: I take that back. I don't hope that I never

260
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,360
Speaker 2: go through that again because I think I learned so

261
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:05,000
Speaker 2: much more about myself during that time than I ever

262
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,480
Speaker 2: would have had the opportunity to had it not happen.

263
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,160
Speaker 2: And also Woop Goldberg defended me.

264
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,839
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know, like I was like, I mean,

265
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, you made it. What did she say?

266
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,760
Speaker 2: She just said something. So the newspaper article came up,

267
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,160
Speaker 2: which I thought was really bizarre for American TV. So

268
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,440
Speaker 2: they had picked up on that and just saying, how

269
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:25,560
Speaker 2: dare you criticize someone for the way that they look

270
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,880
Speaker 2: at about the job that they do and things like that,

271
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,480
Speaker 2: which we were all true but really quick sniffet, But

272
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,120
Speaker 2: I thought, you know you've made it when woo Be

273
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,800
Speaker 2: Goldberg defends God time really cool.

274
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:41,600
Speaker 1: So but also it's a it's a male's opinion as well.

275
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,480
Speaker 1: There and I saw an interview where they got someone

276
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,160
Speaker 1: to speak like another athlete to speak about you, and

277
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,120
Speaker 1: they someone drew a comparison to Ian Thorpe and said,

278
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,440
Speaker 1: no one said anything when Ian Thorpe was a little

279
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,360
Speaker 1: bit like out of shape one year, no one said

280
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 1: a word.

281
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:01,480
Speaker 2: And it's not your atypical He doesn't look like Michael Phelps.

282
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,880
Speaker 2: Michael Felps is shredded. Yeah, he never looked like that.

283
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,040
Speaker 2: He was a bigger man, big muscles, strong or swollen,

284
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:14,080
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, and fast doesn't matter. Do we compare Michael

285
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,080
Speaker 2: Felts to you thor Yeah, Michael Phelps is an incredible

286
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 2: athlete and he's shredded, but they're both incredible athletes. What

287
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:21,840
Speaker 2: does it matter?

288
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,240
Speaker 1: And it also makes me think like health is just

289
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,160
Speaker 1: out the like and healthy messaging and all that, it's

290
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:31,800
Speaker 1: just out the window. I wanted it, like, I know,

291
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,440
Speaker 1: like fat shaming as it sucks. It's happened to me,

292
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 1: happened to me recently. Yeah, I was saying to you

293
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,080
Speaker 1: and like someone had DMed a photo of me to

294
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,520
Speaker 1: a friend saying, yeah, she looks like she's put weight on,

295
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 1: but accidentally say and saying where I'd put the weight

296
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,600
Speaker 1: on in my body and all that crap. And I

297
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 1: wrote back, going, this isn't meant for me, but it

298
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,640
Speaker 1: is about me or talking about And then they said no, no,

299
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 1: it's someone else, and I said, well even worse.

300
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, when when you say things like that, the first

301
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 2: thing that comes to mind is judgment. I think there's

302
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,760
Speaker 2: just so much judgment out there at the moment, and

303
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,760
Speaker 2: I feel really sorry for those people because they must

304
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:14,120
Speaker 2: be judging themselves so much.

305
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,520
Speaker 1: I must self loss.

306
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 2: Oh you must hate yourself so much to project your

307
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,600
Speaker 2: judgment onto other people. And look, I've been in therapy

308
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 2: a lot too. We're very pro therapy, so that is

309
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,160
Speaker 2: a very therapy thing to say. And I'm studying psychology.

310
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,760
Speaker 1: But I saw you say this one when you were

311
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 1: co hosting Studio ten and you were like, I you said,

312
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,680
Speaker 1: you were so clear about having a therapist, also having

313
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,040
Speaker 1: a sports therapist like you were very and I think

314
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,520
Speaker 1: you said, oh, I was on a call two days

315
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,600
Speaker 1: ago with a therapists like you were, and I was like,

316
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,680
Speaker 1: oh my god. So many people see it having a

317
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,840
Speaker 1: therapist as there's something must be wrong.

318
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:53,080
Speaker 2: Wrong with you whatever. You know what, Yeah, I am.

319
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 2: I'm mentally everywhere. We're all a bloody mess.

320
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,920
Speaker 1: I think anyone that has a career in media though

321
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 1: or the limelight, you've got to have a little something.

322
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 2: Something going on you want to want to be in

323
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:08,639
Speaker 2: that into the public eye. And we've spoken about this

324
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,680
Speaker 2: so many times, and I've heard it on your podcast

325
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,160
Speaker 2: for because I've listened to it all your mates. Of course,

326
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm your biggest fan, but talking about just ego and

327
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,919
Speaker 2: fake people's.

328
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:19,399
Speaker 1: Just oh my god, you and I.

329
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 2: And we call them dingos, which I love, but yeah,

330
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 2: it's just well, I mean, no judgment against dingos because

331
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 2: I do love them, but the actual dingos of people,

332
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 2: and there's just so many fake people out there and

333
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,600
Speaker 2: it's really hard to weed through that.

334
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,840
Speaker 1: And you and I would go to events together in

335
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 1: Sydney and be like, let's just get each other through this.

336
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,000
Speaker 2: Please just hold my hand and leave together.

337
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 1: My heels and I can't walk in the hills. Still can't.

338
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:47,760
Speaker 2: I've got a broken foot at the moment. So yeah.

339
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:51,520
Speaker 2: But anyway, so going back to judgment, it's when people

340
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 2: project that onto other people. I just think you must

341
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 2: be such a hurt human band because what I sort

342
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,520
Speaker 2: of think when if I were something on TV, say

343
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:05,760
Speaker 2: for example, and someone might have chosen to maybe be

344
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,639
Speaker 2: in a TV show, a lot of people say, well,

345
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 2: oh my god, they must be broke, or they must

346
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 2: be so desperate to do that, or they must be

347
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,840
Speaker 2: doing this, or they must be doing that. Why do

348
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:15,200
Speaker 2: you care?

349
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, why does it matter?

350
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 2: Why are you judging them?

351
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:18,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, because there's.

352
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 2: Something like are you jealous? Are you jealous of what

353
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,360
Speaker 2: they're doing? Are you do you feel insignificant? Do they

354
00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 2: trigger something in you? What is it about what they're

355
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 2: doing that bothers you so much? So when someone else

356
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 2: does something and I find myself sitting there going, oh, oh,

357
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,439
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't even know what an example is,

358
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 2: but someone does a TV show is in the paper,

359
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 2: doing this or that or saying this or that, and

360
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 2: you think, oh, you know this, Oh I can't believe

361
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 2: they would say that. Oh you know. Then I look

362
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,879
Speaker 2: at myself and go, yeah, you just what's going on

363
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,280
Speaker 2: for you? And most of the time it's jealousy. It's

364
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:56,399
Speaker 2: a big one. I just think, yeah, you know what,

365
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,280
Speaker 2: I would have loved that. I would have loved that contract,

366
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,560
Speaker 2: or I would have to be on that TV show,

367
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,159
Speaker 2: or I would have loved to have done that. So

368
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 2: most of the time I've got to check myself.

369
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,879
Speaker 1: But how good that That's how you can see that

370
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 1: and feel that and see that within yourself Like that

371
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:14,920
Speaker 1: takes introspection? Is that the word? I think? Yeah, being

372
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 1: able to go, oh, actually, what's in it for? Yeah?

373
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 1: One last thing on the fat shaming, only because I

374
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: have had it so recently. Have you had it since

375
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,040
Speaker 1: that stage in London? Like, have you had any times

376
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 1: where you're like, why the did someone just comment on

377
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: my outfit? Or like I've been told I'm too fat

378
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: to e yellow?

379
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 2: I find probably not so openly like that on Instagram. Uh,

380
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,199
Speaker 2: probably more my own self judgement more than anything.

381
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I have my self judgment too.

382
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, I This is going to sound really strange, but

383
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,639
Speaker 2: when you talk about diet culture, I don't know what

384
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 2: it is, but it triggers things in people. And when

385
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 2: I have said openly I would like to lose weight,

386
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 2: I would like to sit at seventy five kilos. That's

387
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,960
Speaker 2: where I feel comfort, I feel lean, I feel strong.

388
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: It's really funny how that triggers something in people because

389
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 2: they all say, oh, well, it's all about loving yourself

390
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: exactly how you are.

391
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,560
Speaker 1: But the weird thing is.

392
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 2: I have health issues. I have PCOS, so I want

393
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 2: my fertility to be good and to be firing on

394
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 2: all cylinders if I do want to start a family.

395
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: So there's a lot of other reasons why I think

396
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:25,439
Speaker 2: people see the external thing and say, well, it's not

397
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 2: a number on scale. It isn't and I completely agree

398
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 2: with that. But it's about feeling good in yourself totally,

399
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 2: and I don't necessarily feel good in myself.

400
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: And the other thing I would say on that is

401
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 1: like you fucking do you? That's exactly what makes you

402
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 1: feel good. I know what I feel good at as well,

403
00:20:42,359 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 1: and people look at me and go, oh no, but

404
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 1: you look you look great, and I'm like thanks, but

405
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,480
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it's about what. And I've learned

406
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: that because Joe and I learned from bringing out a

407
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 1: weight loss book. I'm always going to So I wrote

408
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 1: a diet book years ago, and that gives people they

409
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 1: feel like they can happen on my weight all the time.

410
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,160
Speaker 1: And I figured out really quick, you're either too fat

411
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 1: for someone or too skinny for someone else, always at

412
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 1: any ate, at any size you are. And when you

413
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: realize if that, I'm doing it for me. And I

414
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 1: just said to you before we saw this podcast. My

415
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 1: therapist just last week said, Lola, please never weigh yourself

416
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 1: ever again. He's like, you are a fit girl. You

417
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: train hard, muscleways more than fat. Stop looking at the numbers.

418
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: And that was super hard to do. It's so hard

419
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 1: to so also for you though, with the triggering thing.

420
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:38,520
Speaker 1: I've read your book, which I frigging love. People get

421
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 1: around this book is it's a couple of years old now, but.

422
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 2: It is a couple it'd still be out of fun.

423
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,120
Speaker 2: I'm booked Opio. Yes, it's good body lengths.

424
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: It's I kind of got put on my Instagram yesterday

425
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,080
Speaker 1: and I want to do it again today. But it's

426
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 1: so incredible, and I me, being a dieting junkie, I

427
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,200
Speaker 1: went straight to the what's the chapter called Starving to

428
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 1: Swim was? It's the chapter yeah, and you so that

429
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: you'd have to weigh in certain times the wei and

430
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: they would weigh like if you put two hundred grams on. Well,

431
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: this is while you're training.

432
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 2: Yearect So this was at a time when we were

433
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: training at altitude. So what happens at altitude is the

434
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,080
Speaker 2: body has to work ten times. It's hard to do

435
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 2: half the amount of work. So you might just have

436
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 2: a really easy session, just maybe a float, and it

437
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 2: will take it will be so hard you can't breathe.

438
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: Float so just where you hop in the water and

439
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 2: you don't do much. Oh yes, so that's a float.

440
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,720
Speaker 2: There's also a thing called porridge, which is fuller in

441
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 2: a session that you know, the coaches put in and

442
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 2: it's just porridge. It's just to make up numbers. So

443
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 2: there's lots of terminology. But a float just means you

444
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 2: go to the pool and you just float shell. You

445
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,639
Speaker 2: don't do much. But it's really hard at altitude. Okay,

446
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 2: and so most of the time anyone who's done altitude

447
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 2: training knows you weight just drops off because you are breathing,

448
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,359
Speaker 2: you are sucking in oxygen and you're breathing out so

449
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 2: much carbon dioxide. You just can't keep weight on. And

450
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 2: for me, when I was at Sierra Nevada in Spain,

451
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 2: this is the peak of my depression and anxiety, identity crisis,

452
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 2: foundation crisis.

453
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: How old you have you been there? This was just.

454
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 2: Before twenty twelve, so I probably would have been about

455
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 2: twenty five, twenty six maybe, And so going through really

456
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:25,119
Speaker 2: heavy stuff, my weight did not budge. It didn't budge.

457
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 2: So we were doing weigh ins every morning, girls that

458
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,719
Speaker 2: were similar age to me, similar physique to me, dropping

459
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 2: kilo's left, right and center. Just every day kilos would

460
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,200
Speaker 2: drop off. And for me nothing, it just didn't budge.

461
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,639
Speaker 2: So my body was working so hard, and because that

462
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:45,960
Speaker 2: mind body connection is so huge, that emotional connection is

463
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 2: so strong, my body just held onto everything. It just said,

464
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 2: I am protecting you here. I am not going to

465
00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,720
Speaker 2: let you lose any of going trauma. Yeah, my body

466
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: and my mind was just playing tricks on me.

467
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 1: But it sounds like the way that you were treated

468
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: was pretty shit. Like I read about the like six

469
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: one twenty. Can you explain that?

470
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 2: So that was the letters of the appot That didn't

471
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 2: happen to me directly, but it did. I did hear

472
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:16,120
Speaker 2: these sort of words around, and not from the coaches

473
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: that I worked, but coaches externally. So they were the

474
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 2: sort of words that were thrown around about other athletes.

475
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 2: And it stood for letters the alphabet. So six is F,

476
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,680
Speaker 2: A is one is A T is twenty. So fat

477
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 2: And this is the sort of words that you were hearing.

478
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 2: It's getting much better in sport. Yeah, it's still so slow.

479
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 2: It's there's still written and this is damaging stuff. Oh,

480
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 2: this is this is big trauma to young adults that

481
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 2: are growing up in sports. So we've got to be

482
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 2: really careful about the way we speak to our athletes.

483
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: And I was talking to one of my best friend's

484
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 2: husbands and he's assuming coach at the moment, and I

485
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 2: was just so incredibly proud of the words that he used,

486
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,440
Speaker 2: and it was something about completely different. But he reacted

487
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: to a situation to hearing about a simmer's news that

488
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 2: she was going elsewhere, and he said, I held on

489
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 2: to that that I felt I didn't I didn't handle

490
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 2: that properly. So I came back and apologized. So he's

491
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 2: a forty year old man apologizing to a young girl

492
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 2: saying I'm so sorry I didn't handle that very well.

493
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: Wow, And I said.

494
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: And you know it is wow. Yeah, that takes heart

495
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 2: to say, courage to say, you know what, I fucked

496
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,439
Speaker 2: up there and I really didn't handle that properly and

497
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.

498
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 1: Huge. That gives you home.

499
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 2: There's some good there's some really good eggs out there

500
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 2: really helping people and helping young athletes. And I thought

501
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 2: that is so big of you to reflect on that

502
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:49,639
Speaker 2: situation to go I haven't reacted properly. I am so sorry, Huge, amazing,

503
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: and we need more good eggs like that.

504
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: And I think we need that not just in the

505
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 1: sports industry, but in every industry as well, everywhere. I'm

506
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 1: sure I remember you and I've shared stories, but we've

507
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 1: been in me before where we've been told about I've

508
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: been told definitely about my weight or to change a look, god,

509
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: to not wear a color or you know, yeah, and

510
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 1: it's not okay at all in any any situation.

511
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

512
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: I also read in that part of your book like

513
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,360
Speaker 1: there was when you were dieting, And this is where

514
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: I can see why like numbers and dieting can be triggered.

515
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 1: It triggering, especially if someone that's had to do it

516
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,480
Speaker 1: at such a young age. So it's kind of like

517
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,840
Speaker 1: ingrained in your psyche. But like eating a whole protein

518
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:31,919
Speaker 1: bar was too many calories? You just half half? Yeah? Serious?

519
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: I eat like two protein bars a day if I'm

520
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: like on the yeah.

521
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: So and we had dust finished three hours of training,

522
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 2: so two hours are swimming, an hour in the gym,

523
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 2: so pretty exhausted, but very much reduced to one or

524
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,600
Speaker 2: half sorry half a protein bar, which were they were

525
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 2: probably high calorie, but it was just half. So try

526
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:56,359
Speaker 2: self control of half a protein bar. So yeah, it was.

527
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: It was There's just so much control around food and

528
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 2: what you eat. And I've seen so many quotes that

529
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 2: people say athletes athletes train and athletes train and refuel

530
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 2: or something, they don't diet in an exercise. I don't

531
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: know that. I think an athletes diet diet is it's

532
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,719
Speaker 2: incredibly strict because you have a goal that you need

533
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 2: to achieve and you need to be as lean as possible.

534
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 2: So but it does bring up a bit of if

535
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 2: you're a controlling person or you want to control the situation.

536
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: But also, the brain needs so many calories to function properly,

537
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 1: and swimming newses the most amount of energy, does it not?

538
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 2: And one of the supposedly, Yeah, because it's so cardiovascular

539
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 2: and so long. Its two hours of cardiovascular So it's

540
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 2: about it's more than sitting on a bike for two

541
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,359
Speaker 2: hours straight.

542
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:48,960
Speaker 1: Totally.

543
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 2: You need ten times a week, you need.

544
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: Like, don't it wasn't training like four in the mornings.

545
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had to be there at four twenty five

546
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,880
Speaker 2: because if you weren't five minutes, you were late.

547
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why you're so punctual. You've never been late

548
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: ever to one of our dates?

549
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 2: No, usually usually not if something's happened, that's why I'm late.

550
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 2: So usually i'm ten fifth awkwardly ten to fifteen minutes early.

551
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 1: I'm an early. I got here quite early. Ten. I

552
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 1: was like vlogging, I'm about to go upstairs through. But

553
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 1: I think that's also virgo, like doubling grains that in Indio.

554
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,360
Speaker 2: You do you know how much panic can I get

555
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 2: if I am running late or if I'm on time panic,

556
00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 2: I will text the person I'm sorry, I'm running a

557
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: couple of minutes late. I am outside just getting a

558
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 2: car park updating because it just POWs so much anxiety.

559
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,479
Speaker 1: No, but that's it's such a good. At acting school,

560
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: they say, pretend the class starts ten minutes earlier than

561
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 1: what is That's right. I like it.

562
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 2: It's it's a full of respect to Also, you've intrigued

563
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 2: me with the acting school because I have thought that

564
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 2: I would like to do improv.

565
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Improv's harder, man, very hard. Yeah.

566
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 2: The acting school I just think is so interesting. I've

567
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: thought about singing lessons too. My nana was a good

568
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,959
Speaker 2: really yeah, she was an opera singer. Yeah, she got

569
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: a song with Matt.

570
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: I've got there you go, Matt.

571
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 2: That would be sitting there with his headphone. So this

572
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: is Matt Lowler's partner so far, I would have to

573
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 2: apologize in advance, get the auto tune ready to go,

574
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 2: because I would have to work at it very hard.

575
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: I think there's something to be said for definitely for

576
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 1: acting though as far as this personal development. We speak

577
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: on television and in media and it's just great skill. Yeah,

578
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: voice couse, and for I mean, you already speak so beautifully.

579
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 2: But on that topic. There is a great there's a

580
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: great book and I think it's called Voice or something,

581
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: and it goes on to say about how important the

582
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 2: voice is because it's communication. That is, your voice in

583
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: the world is so much bigger than you think it is.

584
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 2: And I'm sure you'd love that because you work on it.

585
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,239
Speaker 2: But you should never criticize someone's singing voice. That's what

586
00:29:56,280 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 2: the book said, because that is their front there. What

587
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: was the word, like a vehicle to go from their

588
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 2: heart out their mouth. So you should need to do

589
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 2: singing lessons and imagine that amazing.

590
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: I reckon it'd be amazing.

591
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's really fascinating. Voice is so important, Oh

592
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 2: my gosh, so important. And everyone has a voice. Yeah,

593
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 2: it's and even if you don't vocally have a voice,

594
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 2: you have a voice inside of you. So big stuff

595
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 2: we're getting into deep.

596
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 1: I love it. I'm actually glad that you're speaking about

597
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 1: deep stuff because I did want to go a little

598
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 1: bit deep with which I know that you're comforier. You're

599
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: so open and it literally in the kind of like

600
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 1: intro of your book, you talk which I've got it

601
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: here by the way, I've got a signed Yes, this

602
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 1: book to my favorite Chicken.

603
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: It says, by the way, my only chicken.

604
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: We send each other emoi as well the prologue. Sorry,

605
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 1: so in the pro can I share a little bit

606
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: from I just want to say, is it Sarah? And

607
00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: Nevada might say, Seierra Nevada, thank you? See Longe can't

608
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 1: read peanuts. Sierra Nevada. Okay. I spent yesterday afternoon on

609
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:14,960
Speaker 1: the bathroom floor of my room at the Sierra Nevada

610
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: High Performance Sports Center planning to kill myself while the

611
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: rest of the Aussie swimming team eight talked, kicked a ball,

612
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: or watched TV. I thought about slitting my wrists and

613
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: my legs. Then there's another bit, like literally paragraph down,

614
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 1: and it's I'm going to do it. I'm so clear.

615
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: I've saved up some sleeping tablets and I will take

616
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: them all. A knife from the kitchen will do the rest.

617
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 1: I'll slit my wrists, slash my legs, make sure I

618
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: get the big veins. I've googled how much it would

619
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: cost to send a body bag back home from Spain.

620
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: It's fifteen thousand dollars or something like that. Pretty expensive,

621
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: but I've checked that there will be enough money left

622
00:31:55,360 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 1: for mum to pay for it. Far. First of all, yeah,

623
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: you are so brave for even sharing that.

624
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, big stuff.

625
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: That's number one. The fact you've shared that, I don't

626
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: know how many lives you've probably saved.

627
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I hope so because I want to take

628
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: the stigma away that some people think like that. And

629
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 2: that was a big poignant moment in my life. So

630
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,360
Speaker 2: this is what I'm talking about, identity crisis, foundation crumbling.

631
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 2: If I don't swim, who am I as a person?

632
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: I had not done any work on me as a

633
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 2: person outside of sport. I was always Lesel the swimmer,

634
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: and I always will be. But I'm okay with it

635
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 2: now because I thought, if I'm not swimming, what do

636
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 2: I I have no qualifications, I have no work experience.

637
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 2: I neglected my friends throughout my swimming career because I

638
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 2: didn't have time to catch up with them or to

639
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 2: do anything. I haven't finished school. So I thought, if

640
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 2: I don't have this, what do I do? And the

641
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 2: problem was, at the time I was as telling people

642
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: that I'm want to retire next year. Everyone said to me.

643
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,320
Speaker 2: The first thing they ever said to me was, what

644
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:04,920
Speaker 2: are you going to do?

645
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: Pressure?

646
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 2: It's so much pressure and it's really overwhelming. It's like

647
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: when kids leave school, when you leave high school and

648
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,479
Speaker 2: everyone says to you, Oh, what do you want to do?

649
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: I want to study medicine. Oh so you want to

650
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,160
Speaker 2: be a doctor. What do you want to be a surgeon?

651
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: Do you want to be a specialist? You want to

652
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 2: It's so overwhelming you can't process it. And so it's

653
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,479
Speaker 2: one step at a time. And I'm seven years retired

654
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 2: now it's twenty nineteen and I still don't know what

655
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 2: I want to do.

656
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: So my acting school seeing lessons. I believe in you.

657
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: Joanna Griggs is on Home and Away once and played

658
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: a Swedish backpacker, so there is hope for me. Yeah,

659
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 2: and yeah, so it's amazing. It's the best that. I

660
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: just love Joanna Greeg. She's one of my and.

661
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: I could do a show together.

662
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 2: Yes, we brought it up once. Didn't be like a

663
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 2: cooking exercising. Yeah, very creative but big stuff, really big thing. Yeah,

664
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 2: but I didn't. And when we were talking about right

665
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 2: this book with my publisher, I said to Hian, I said,

666
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 2: there is one thing. If I do write a book,

667
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 2: it is going to be wats and all, I am

668
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: going to talk about the big stuff. She said. That's perfect,

669
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 2: That's exactly what we need, because I think there's a

670
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 2: lot of fairy flow stuff around with mental health. I

671
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 2: think we throw a lot of things out there, but

672
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 2: when you really get down to the nitty gritty, some

673
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 2: of that stuff does not look pretty. It's not nice.

674
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 2: And a lot of these people are having these thoughts

675
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:30,360
Speaker 2: because they're in crisis and they're really at the bottom

676
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 2: of the barrel, and it's not something to take lightly.

677
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 2: So I'm all for medication. If you need to take

678
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 2: medication completely, okay, you just need to get onto it earlier.

679
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 2: You need to be talking to people. I made that mistake.

680
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,760
Speaker 2: I didn't talk to anyone soon enough totally.

681
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:48,880
Speaker 1: But it was almost like an act of the universe

682
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: kind of having your back where it was like, right

683
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: now's the time I'm going to do this. I want

684
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,240
Speaker 1: to share that moment, like that moment where you've almost

685
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,760
Speaker 1: got bizarrely saved.

686
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,479
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's oh, yes, and my coach

687
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 2: walked in, Yes, absolutely so, so I had gone not missing,

688
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 2: but I just went upstairs in my room. And that's

689
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 2: the other mistake that I was making was I was

690
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 2: isolating myself. And that's one of the big triggers for

691
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 2: me if I am spiraling into a bit of a

692
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 2: mental health thing. As I start becoming a recluse, I

693
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: become a bit hermit and retract from people and I

694
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 2: don't message people. And so I had started this spiral

695
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,720
Speaker 2: of just sitting in my room and so my coach

696
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 2: Rowan at the time, walked in and just I don't

697
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: know who sent him, I don't know what happened, but

698
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:33,160
Speaker 2: he came and walked in at that exact moment. So

699
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 2: I would hate to think if he walked in ten

700
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,880
Speaker 2: minutes later or what would have happened. But he's just

701
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:41,400
Speaker 2: I think, my guardian angel. And I just have so

702
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 2: much Yeah, I just have so much love for Rowan,

703
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 2: and not because he saved me at that moment, but

704
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:50,239
Speaker 2: because of who he was as a person. Was just

705
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 2: so genuine, so much care, so much love, and just

706
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 2: saw me as a person not enough.

707
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: I saw an Indian I reckon it would have been here.

708
00:35:58,040 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: I saw as an interview was he did he stick

709
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: up for you to media? Always always him literally going

710
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,040
Speaker 1: guys like always you're totally forgetting what she's done for

711
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,400
Speaker 1: this country, that's all right. Yeah, And it was really

712
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 1: incredible to watch.

713
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 2: And he is one of those good eggs, one of

714
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 2: those good coaches that sees through all the bullshit that

715
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 2: we put out there, all the stories that we tell,

716
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 2: he sees the real person behind and he's willing to

717
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: work on it, and he works individually with each athlete

718
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 2: to find what motivates them, what triggers them. And I

719
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 2: think that's such a big person to not only look

720
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 2: at what other people's triggers are, but to actively work

721
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: on them and not treat people as a whole, as

722
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 2: a big group and think everything was going to work

723
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: for the same. So he just spent so much time

724
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 2: and energy on me that I could never repay him.

725
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:46,320
Speaker 2: So he was and still is Rosa Gregor.

726
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 1: So for people that are listening, because mental health is

727
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 1: probably arguably at.

728
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 2: Its worst, yeah, I would I agree.

729
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: And what would you say with people that are listening

730
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 1: that are struggling on some level or have maybe had

731
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 1: a thought like that or like I'm lost? And because

732
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 1: when you said like you is slate yourself. That's a

733
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: natural reaction. Even if I'm having bad I might get

734
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: me home, get me Netflix and a block of chocolate,

735
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: which sounds harmless and it totally is. But like if

736
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 1: that that's self care when you do at once, But

737
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: when it becomes like you're constantly isolating yourself, Like what

738
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: would you if someone's like, I don't know what you know?

739
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 2: Get help early. Yeah, even if it's a counselor you

740
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 2: don't have to go to a psychologist. You don't have

741
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:29,879
Speaker 2: to go big. Just go to a counsel, Just talk

742
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: to someone. And that's where Lifeline and Beyond Blue and

743
00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:36,240
Speaker 2: all those things come in. Definitely, one thing I would

744
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 2: say is get off social media. That's a big one.

745
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 2: I start when I start spiraling, I start getting on

746
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,760
Speaker 2: social media more, I start comparing, I start struggling more.

747
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 2: It makes me worse. So I have to detach from

748
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 2: social media. That's the big one for me. And because

749
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: I get stuck in this comparison spiral where oh that

750
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:56,240
Speaker 2: person's so busy. Oh I'm feeling a little bit lonely.

751
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 2: But those people have got friends around them. But you

752
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: don't realize that these people you're feeling lonely too. So yeah,

753
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 2: it's I think this is my this is what's the

754
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,440
Speaker 2: prescription for me? Get off social media. It's big. I

755
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: think you are flooded with highlight reel, highlight reel. My

756
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 2: life's amazing, Your life is shit.

757
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 1: It's all fake.

758
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,839
Speaker 2: It's not real. No one's showing the videos of them

759
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 2: crying on the bathroom floor, are they. No one's showing that.

760
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 2: So I've got to get off social media. Then I've

761
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:31,120
Speaker 2: got to go talk to a therapist. Whatever that looks

762
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 2: like for you.

763
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm reading a book at the moment and he's an

764
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: acting teacher and he said the homework for week one

765
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: is no social media, and ask like what, and he's like,

766
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: don't miss read. This is like if you need to

767
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: use it for work, and it's part of what you do,

768
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: like get on there and do the work, schedule your posts. Yeah,

769
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: don't look Yeah, he said absolutely, Like that's the first thing.

770
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: What was the idea behind that?

771
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,919
Speaker 1: So it's to connect with yourself. Yeah, right, so you're

772
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:56,480
Speaker 1: more connected, you're more present, definitely, you don't want to

773
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 1: be compared. Yeah, but it's also to get clear, like

774
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: it makes us foggy and muddy in the mind. Yeah.

775
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,400
Speaker 1: I can feel when I do it too much and

776
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 1: I'll see like I'll be seeing my boyfriend. I'm like,

777
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:10,960
Speaker 1: we're just sitting on that phone and we barely do it.

778
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: But I'll catch us pretty quick and I'll be like

779
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 1: phone sound yep, and we just that's it. Both flip

780
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: our phones down, love it and reconnect, don't even look

781
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,600
Speaker 1: at it, and we go away down the coast talking

782
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 1: really bad reception so it barely I mean, it kills

783
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 1: me because I can't do emails, but just the email,

784
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 1: like the work side of it. And he's like, I

785
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 1: love it. And we watch like, because we can't even

786
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: do Netflix or anything like that, we'll watch a movie

787
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: with and chat in the ads. I love that chat

788
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,239
Speaker 1: in the ads of Harry Potter last week, and I

789
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: just I think it's to create. You can connect back

790
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,239
Speaker 1: to yourself, you can connect to others. And the whole

791
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: reason why this podcast exists is because social media celebrates success.

792
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: It doesn't celebrate failure, failure.

793
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 2: Or when you're just plodding away and you feel like

794
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: you get kicked in the face. I had that two

795
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:02,399
Speaker 2: weeks ago. I didn't post anything about it. I got

796
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: kicked in the face three times in a week for

797
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,960
Speaker 2: three big things that I really really worked hard for.

798
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: And I so badly wanted to happen, and they did

799
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 2: not happen for me. I didn't post about it. I

800
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: didn't show anyone. I didn't want anyone to know, and

801
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 2: I was crying for a week straight.

802
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,399
Speaker 1: Was this like gigs that fell through?

803
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, wanted and they really aligned with all of my values,

804
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 2: you know, helping other people mental health and well being,

805
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 2: working with athletes.

806
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:29,319
Speaker 1: It was.

807
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 2: It was the most perfect job for me, and I

808
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 2: didn't get it. And There's been a few times where

809
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 2: I've gone for a similar role and haven't got it,

810
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 2: and my self worth went through the floor. I just felt,

811
00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 2: you know, if I can't even get a job like that,

812
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 2: what am I good enough to do? And what, you know,

813
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 2: am I going to have to work at Cole's. Not

814
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 2: that there's anything wrong with that, but this was big

815
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 2: for me because it aligned with all my values. So

816
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,439
Speaker 2: that was that flawed me that week.

817
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 1: But also understandably, you know what I mean, that's human

818
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: to feel shit when you lose something.

819
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 2: But also I didn't post about it. I did not

820
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: put that on Instagram where I was crying on the

821
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,279
Speaker 2: floor for a week straight that I didn't get a

822
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: job that I thought I was going to do amazing

823
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 2: things in.

824
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: I even remember I get this the same thing. So

825
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 1: last year I went for a really big audition shot

826
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: a pilot, and the show didn't get green lit, but

827
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 1: the other people I auditioned against all got gigs in

828
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,520
Speaker 1: television like a month later, and so I was like, oh,

829
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 1: am I am I the am I the shit one?

830
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 1: And I and my self talk was am I the

831
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 1: fat one? Oh yeah? So like my negative self talk

832
00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: was maybe I don't look enough like a model and

833
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,399
Speaker 1: that's maybe why I didn't get it, and like that's

834
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: where I went, And I just think you don't talk

835
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: about the failure enough and it's actually it's actually the

836
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: it's like the meaty shit that actually makes you who

837
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 1: you are and it makes and yes you were so

838
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: upset and you were on the flop, but it's making

839
00:41:56,719 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 1: space for something better. So you don't know when you're

840
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:01,479
Speaker 1: in it though.

841
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 2: That trust is so hard. That's so hard to trust

842
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: that something is coming when you are rock bottom financially

843
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 2: as well and self worth and what's on the horizon.

844
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 2: That's when you have to dig deep and find something.

845
00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question, because you hit the nail

846
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: on the head with the financial thing. Do you sometimes

847
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,479
Speaker 1: feel like you are merely a dollar sign to someone

848
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,239
Speaker 1: that you could potentially work with, Like if you get

849
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 1: a work gig comes up and they're like, you know,

850
00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: they're like, Oh, they working with me because of my values?

851
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,759
Speaker 1: Or are they working with me because I can get

852
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,960
Speaker 1: them X amount? Sometimes I feel like I'm a dollar sign. Yeah, right,

853
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: going to a gig and they're like, well, you know

854
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 1: I wanted this thing with you, and you know, I

855
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: got booked for a gig recently and I was like, oh,

856
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,319
Speaker 1: I'm so alignment. Yes, this is so great. And I'm

857
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 1: like I really want to talk about mental health and

858
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 1: I want to talk about failure or I want to talk

859
00:42:52,280 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 1: about yoga or something, and they're like, no, you'll be

860
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 1: making a recipe. And I was like, Okay, you need

861
00:42:57,640 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: me to do and I get it. It's my qualification,

862
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 1: it's my bread and butter. And that's where I was like,

863
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 1: you just need me to be the nutritionist, Lola. You

864
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: don't really care too much about my passions that have

865
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 1: because we're changing humans. We're not like this carbon copy.

866
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to rock on stage and make raw vegan

867
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 1: brownies every time I go on or whatever it is,

868
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like that shit gets boring

869
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: for me, and I'm I don't believe I'll write another

870
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 1: risk just playing recipe book again because it's not enough

871
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 1: for me and there are plenty of other people out

872
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: there doing a better job than I could do.

873
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:33,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I guess I sort of feel maybe I wouldn't.

874
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: I don't know.

875
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,839
Speaker 2: I don't know whether people would choose me. Maybe it's

876
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,919
Speaker 2: because I haven't looked at it that way.

877
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm I'm more jaded than you know. But I

878
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:43,640
Speaker 1: think you've got.

879
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 2: More, you know, more prongs, you know, you do so

880
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 2: many things, whereas I sort of am sport but not

881
00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:58,879
Speaker 2: really that entertainment side. So I sort of feel maybe

882
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,239
Speaker 2: a dollar I do. I have trouble with comparison because

883
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 2: there's a lot of people in my position that want

884
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,600
Speaker 2: to do the same work that's hard, and there's not

885
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 2: many roles where I get chosen because there's a lot

886
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: of Giann Rudi is incredible. She does some of the

887
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 2: best work on TV. She's bloody, fantastic at commentary, she

888
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:22,399
Speaker 2: looks beautiful on TV. She is just but I don't

889
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 2: feel it, you know, So I lose a lot of

890
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: gigs because there's so many people out there doing great

891
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 2: things and there's not many jobs. So I sort of

892
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 2: feel with.

893
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:33,720
Speaker 1: That role.

894
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,120
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would look at it as

895
00:44:36,239 --> 00:44:36,959
Speaker 2: a dollar sign.

896
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:38,640
Speaker 1: I know, I feel like I asked the question wrong.

897
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,600
Speaker 1: Get I get what you're I get so from what

898
00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 1: I'm hearing from you as like.

899
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 2: That's such a psychologist thing today reframing with us.

900
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: I love it. You can tell the people they've had therapy, can't.

901
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 2: You know. I'm like to play back what I'm hearing

902
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 2: from you.

903
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is what I'm what I am

904
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 1: hearing is that there are like you said, is a

905
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: saturated industry. My industry is also saturated. So there are

906
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 1: a lot of people wanting very much, and there are

907
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 1: a lot of athletes like I watched the Grand Final

908
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: on the weekend, the AML Grand Final, and like the

909
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: X the ex good footy players that are good at

910
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 1: speaking on the sidelines doing the commentary, and you know,

911
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: it makes sense because it's your passion and you understand

912
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 1: the sport, you understand the way it works. But not

913
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,840
Speaker 1: everyone is going to get the job of working in

914
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 1: television and commentary and speak. I get I get that,

915
00:45:31,560 --> 00:45:33,680
Speaker 1: but there's something you just said, was like, I don't

916
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 1: feel like I am you know, And I think when

917
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: that changes, when you feel like, actually I'm fucking worth this. Yeah,

918
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: and I do look fucking good. I am healthy. I

919
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: am like Also, no one knows what's on the scales.

920
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 1: When you said to me, I feel best at seventy five,

921
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:51,120
Speaker 1: I was like, well, fuck, I don't know how far

922
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 1: she is from that golfle. She feels great to me.

923
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it does come from internal. I know that

924
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,839
Speaker 2: one hundred percent because there have been times where I've

925
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,239
Speaker 2: been maybe heavy, and I just feel inside me it

926
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 2: glows out. And you would know that because you go

927
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,359
Speaker 2: to events as well and you just feel it right.

928
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 2: You just know you're good, you know, having a good

929
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:13,839
Speaker 2: day because people are attracted to you. And I don't

930
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:17,240
Speaker 2: mean that in a sexual way, but just you attract

931
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 2: people good vibes. And it's internal. So this external body

932
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: and the muscles, and you are not fat. You have fat.

933
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 2: You are not fat healthy. You have fat. You need

934
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 2: it to survive. It gives you energy. So but it

935
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: doesn't matter what's sitting on the bones. It comes from inside.

936
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,799
Speaker 2: Oh that's so introspective Is that the word we're looking?

937
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's just youw We've both done.

938
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 2: So much therapy. I'm studying. I'm just studying psychology, so

939
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,799
Speaker 2: I'll just use all I'll use all my sessions in

940
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,680
Speaker 2: training and yeah, but it's really interesting all that stuff.

941
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 2: Just yeah, you've you've got to feel it inside, you

942
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 2: really do. And you have have to feel self love

943
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 2: and self worth. It's it's big stuff. But it takes

944
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 2: a long time. But I don't have it now. I

945
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 2: don't feel it right now.

946
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: So and I can totally relate to that. I understand that,

947
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 1: But I also I know you, not just as a friend,

948
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 1: but I also do know you as somebody that can

949
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: speak very clearly on television and read taliprompters and feel

950
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:25,360
Speaker 1: confident and has great intonation. We did our holiday trip

951
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: to Gaya together, the best one at If you ever need.

952
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 2: A retreat, go to Guy. It is the best.

953
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: So I went recently with Matt and that were they

954
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,440
Speaker 1: were literally do you remember when you were here? With

955
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: about them? All phenomenal. But we had to film, not

956
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: had to, but we filmed a bit of content for

957
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:45,719
Speaker 1: social media for our pages to kind of like thank guya.

958
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 1: And I remember I was filming you and I was like,

959
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:51,000
Speaker 1: how the ef she got such good intonation and media training?

960
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,080
Speaker 1: Like I've never had media training. I don't know have

961
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 1: you had media training?

962
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,520
Speaker 2: Not particularly, I've just learned as I went along.

963
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 1: You've got this beautiful intonation. You know, you'll you know

964
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 1: how to keep your name up high, and then you'll

965
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 1: dip when you need to dip. So indonation is kind

966
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: of like, well you taint. It's like hey and welcome

967
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 1: to the show. Like it's almost there's a melody to

968
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 1: the way you speak. And I was like, fuck, she's

969
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 1: made for this. And so I think for you, like

970
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 1: I believe wholeheartedly that you will end up doing something

971
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:25,319
Speaker 1: that you absolutely love. Probably in media, i'd say, yeah, do.

972
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:27,520
Speaker 2: You know when I felt amazing though, And this is

973
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 2: where I have done my absolute best work, and I

974
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,040
Speaker 2: am so proud of the work I did. It was

975
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 2: actually two thousand and four Commonwealth Games and I hosted

976
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:40,520
Speaker 2: with Matt White, who is the biggest legend in media,

977
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 2: and I just don't think he's on TV enough because

978
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: he's just he's so bloody good. He works with no

979
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:50,320
Speaker 2: tele prompt, no AUTOQ he writes, he studies for months

980
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:54,160
Speaker 2: before he goes his information list is just blows my mind.

981
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 2: And that the it's on screen chemistry. But don't read

982
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 2: into that as yeah, it's nothing.

983
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,120
Speaker 1: You just get on with it. Just you and I

984
00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:05,880
Speaker 1: have chemistry now that it is.

985
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,399
Speaker 2: And some people you're gel with and some people you don't,

986
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 2: and you can pick it a mile off. But Matt

987
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 2: White and I clicked from the minute we got on set.

988
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 2: And I have never ever in my life done better work, never,

989
00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 2: And I look back on that time and think it

990
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:23,000
Speaker 2: was a breeze. It was easy. I loved it. I

991
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:27,200
Speaker 2: was myself. I was cracking jokes, talking about really serious topics,

992
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 2: probably being borderline inappropriate for TV. But it was great

993
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 2: and I've never and I have never found work like that.

994
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,920
Speaker 2: That just lit me up inside that I worked with

995
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:45,359
Speaker 2: fabulous people. I met one of my besties, Laws on

996
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:49,720
Speaker 2: the trip. I know, I know, And you've known Laws

997
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,680
Speaker 2: longer than I have. Well, yeah, you lived with her.

998
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 1: I did live. I would have been eighteen when I loss.

999
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 2: I moved in a long time.

1000
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,000
Speaker 1: My boyfriend at the time was living Laws and my

1001
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:02,280
Speaker 1: name is Lauren, and so he had nickname for Laws.

1002
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 1: Had nickname for me.

1003
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:07,759
Speaker 2: Yeah anyway, yeah, so and so she's become one of

1004
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:10,360
Speaker 2: my great mates and we have so many mutual great mates.

1005
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 2: Steph prem shout out to you because I've listened to

1006
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 2: your podcast already and it was really beautiful. She just

1007
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 2: blows my mind. But yeah, it's just you've got to

1008
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 2: find work that lights you up, and you don't find

1009
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 2: it often, I don't think.

1010
00:50:23,280 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: But that's the same I would say for real love

1011
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: and real like real real, may you feel it like this?

1012
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 1: We haven't seen each other for ages and literally.

1013
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 2: It's been a eighteen months, which makes me sad.

1014
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,840
Speaker 1: But as I was walking out of the elevator, you

1015
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 1: were filming on your Into Stories and I just looked

1016
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 1: at you and I was like, oh, miss you so much.

1017
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: It was like time had just snapped us back to

1018
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: whenever we were last giggling over something Bravy or something.

1019
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,840
Speaker 1: There's something I I as a viewer that I consumed,

1020
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: a view that lit me up watching you and it

1021
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 1: was I'm a sleib, get me out, yes, and do

1022
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,680
Speaker 1: you know what is you're gonna because I don't think

1023
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: we've ever spoken about this. It was early. It was

1024
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: like early episode and at the very beginning, there's you

1025
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: guys like trekking or walking and someone thinks, I say

1026
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: a snake. You're like, no, no, no, that's just a

1027
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 1: legless lizard.

1028
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 2: Do you remember this, I've seen a few.

1029
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:31,480
Speaker 1: Amazing, amazing that's bottle. I know we're keeping it in

1030
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: that will not be edited to that. Do you hang on?

1031
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 1: Do you remember this in the show?

1032
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, so amazing, amazing, I've got so rad I'm sweating, amazing, hilarious. Yes,

1033
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 2: I do remember that moment. But it's just about keeping

1034
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 2: it real. It's just like the ausy girl. I just

1035
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,000
Speaker 2: don't get caught up in that stuff. And I used to.

1036
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 2: I grew up on three hundred acres, so we saw

1037
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 2: red belly black snakes. Yeah, nearly every day, carpet pythons.

1038
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,320
Speaker 2: And my dog got bitten by red belly black snake.

1039
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 2: No she's lived. Yeah, she's like super deadly venomous they

1040
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 2: are to dogs. Yeah they're they're not totally venomous to humans,

1041
00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 2: but yeah, it's yeah. So I just keep I just

1042
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:25,000
Speaker 2: you know me, you're the same, keep it real, And

1043
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: I tend to not get caught up in big exciting moments.

1044
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 2: Usually I wish I was one of those people that

1045
00:52:32,040 --> 00:52:34,239
Speaker 2: was easily excitable, But there's a lot of times where

1046
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 2: I'm not.

1047
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,919
Speaker 1: You just well, I think you just go with the flow,

1048
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:40,719
Speaker 1: and that's what I I just you just keep it

1049
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 1: so friggin real. I remember I was doing a PETE

1050
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:46,239
Speaker 1: session with you one day, so we had the same PT.

1051
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 2: Also not the thirty for thirty we did for our

1052
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 2: thirtieth birthday. Remember Dan, adare shout out to you made

1053
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,920
Speaker 2: us doe thirty reps of thirty exercises. We smashed it both.

1054
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: Might I say we both mentioned before this Dan that

1055
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:02,399
Speaker 1: we missed you because she hands down the best PT

1056
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 1: in the.

1057
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 2: Entire Bloody moved away.

1058
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: Now you'll have to fill to la for him.

1059
00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 2: But that sounds so luxurious. And I had to visit

1060
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 2: my personal trainer.

1061
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: But he remember you and I were training together. He's like,

1062
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:20,319
Speaker 1: we're going to a joint session today, girls coming together.

1063
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 1: We're going to be a fun and we're going like

1064
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: round for round, So we would have to do the

1065
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,720
Speaker 1: same thing. I remember, like we're doing medicine ball slams

1066
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 1: and he'd given all this like ginormous medicine ball and

1067
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,200
Speaker 1: I got given this tiny one, you're doing massive box charms.

1068
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:36,839
Speaker 1: I was doing like step ups like you were.

1069
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 2: You were boxed.

1070
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:38,959
Speaker 1: I can't, no, I can't box jump.

1071
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,600
Speaker 2: I think I was doing like little baby, that's what

1072
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 2: you still did them.

1073
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,880
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking he's woking. Made me go against

1074
00:53:46,920 --> 00:53:49,880
Speaker 1: an an Australian gold medalist.

1075
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 2: Olympian here, I'm like what.

1076
00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,640
Speaker 1: I remember thinking, And you looked at me and I

1077
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: was like smashed. You were pretty, you train so hard.

1078
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: I think it's I've never seen someone on an air

1079
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,279
Speaker 1: dine like you like you, just like because you're very

1080
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 1: strong and you're upper from Yeah.

1081
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:12,879
Speaker 2: Not great if you want to wear pretty dresses. Though.

1082
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:18,120
Speaker 1: It was so impressive, and I remember you looked at

1083
00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: me and I was like I was literally in between

1084
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:22,919
Speaker 1: each round, I was just like yogi breeding, like literally

1085
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: trying to control my breath. And you looked at me

1086
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 1: and you're like, mate, don't worry. You're like, I feel

1087
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:29,760
Speaker 1: like a t rex next to you. I was like, mate,

1088
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 1: are you joking? And I was like, you're the fittest,

1089
00:54:33,480 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: strongest tea Wrecks I've ever met. Because I was like

1090
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,359
Speaker 1: lose and he was writing our scores up on there.

1091
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 1: Do you remember and in Dan's rule would be like

1092
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 1: to try and smash you to the point. I remember

1093
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 1: I say to him, whatever you do, I do not

1094
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: want to vomit. Okay, you can do whatever you want,

1095
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: but I don't want to want to throw Yeah. And

1096
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:54,160
Speaker 1: he always he always would get me right and never.

1097
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,839
Speaker 2: But that was the best. And do you know what,

1098
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,959
Speaker 2: and that's the best workout to ever do is feel

1099
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 2: like you're not working out because they were always so

1100
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 2: fun when we worked out together, they were so much fun.

1101
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:05,960
Speaker 1: And then me go to Proteiny after and get like

1102
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 1: those healthy pancakes delicious.

1103
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 2: Oh that was the life. That's when Sydney was good

1104
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 2: for me. I was not enjoying Sydney to this.

1105
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: Is what I say about Sydney. And I love like

1106
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 1: there'll be Sidney listen listeners on here. And I do

1107
00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 1: love Sydney. I live there for about six years. How

1108
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,000
Speaker 1: long did you live there?

1109
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:24,879
Speaker 2: Five and a half, So we were.

1110
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:26,719
Speaker 1: Both there at similar times. And to be honest, you

1111
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:29,320
Speaker 1: really took me under your wing because I say to people,

1112
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:31,720
Speaker 1: Sydney has a lot more sharks than Melbourne.

1113
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 2: And I don't very hard in the sea, I mean

1114
00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:43,760
Speaker 2: human and there is Crenela Sharks in Sydney too, Rugby league.

1115
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 2: They good team, they are very good. It's good names,

1116
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,279
Speaker 2: isn't it. It is good. Well, I lived in Crenella, Oh,

1117
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 2: carrying bars. So yeah, but Sydney's hard. It's hard if

1118
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 2: you don't go, you don't go to school there. It's

1119
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 2: very it's very I just find people, and I don't

1120
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 2: mean in a bad way, but yeah, it's just very

1121
00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 2: hard to get into groups then give clicking.

1122
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 1: Often you get the vibe like someone wants something from me.

1123
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 1: But we're both we both love Melbourne but also Melbourne.

1124
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 1: So me, Sydney still feels fun, like I'm going to

1125
00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: work a few weeks and I just love it.

1126
00:56:14,200 --> 00:56:17,279
Speaker 2: I do great work in Sydney. You do fantastic when

1127
00:56:17,280 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 2: you go to Sydney, you do great recond Yes, yes,

1128
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 2: I think Melbourne is heart and soul for you, but

1129
00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:28,480
Speaker 2: I think Sydney is your work. You feel, Yeah, you're

1130
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 2: one of those people that feels ignited when you go

1131
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 2: to Sydney. Melbourne is that for me? When I come

1132
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 2: to Melbourne, I love I love everything about Melbourne. So

1133
00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,799
Speaker 2: my friend came here and the minute I found out

1134
00:56:41,800 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 2: he was coming here, he was working and studying. I

1135
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 2: sent him a list of about twenty restaurants that he

1136
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:47,000
Speaker 2: must see.

1137
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: So, oh, we've done a few restaurants.

1138
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 2: So Melbourne is what I know Melbourne. And it's very

1139
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 2: gray today, it's very rainy. It's my favorite.

1140
00:56:57,960 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: If you're listening, you are more Melbourne than I am,

1141
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 1: very much. I get a bit over Melbourne in and

1142
00:57:03,480 --> 00:57:06,799
Speaker 1: out of and all the time. But it's funny. Now

1143
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 1: I'm kind of like very at peace and very like, oh,

1144
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,799
Speaker 1: this is a cool place to be right now.

1145
00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 2: I'm homely.

1146
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 1: I'm learning to be not attached. I think yoga has

1147
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: taught me. This is the word in yoga. I hope

1148
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 1: I say it right, vak viach. It sounds like viogra.

1149
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: That's what I remember. Okay, it means to be non attached.

1150
00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: And they say, so we talk about tapas and abiasa.

1151
00:57:26,640 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 1: Abiasa means discipline. So you know that as an Olympian,

1152
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: you rock up, You've got that plenty of that, got

1153
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: that black line every day, and but it's also about

1154
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,320
Speaker 1: being disciplined but having a no attachment to the out here.

1155
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 1: And I remember when they were teaching, I was like,

1156
00:57:39,600 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: I've got to talk to Lisa about this, because how

1157
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: the do you train not wanting a gold medal?

1158
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 2: You don't you don't you want the gold medal? Right,

1159
00:57:46,280 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 2: it's losing the expectation around it. And when I was

1160
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,600
Speaker 2: sort of thinking in my mind about because this is

1161
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,160
Speaker 2: fearlessly failing, failing fearlessly, I was thinking about failures, and

1162
00:57:56,200 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 2: I don't know that I've ever had many. There's only

1163
00:57:58,560 --> 00:58:02,520
Speaker 2: a couple I can think of. But the only failure

1164
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:04,680
Speaker 2: in a vert commas that comes from it is the

1165
00:58:04,720 --> 00:58:08,480
Speaker 2: expectation I failed to meet my expectation of what I

1166
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 2: wanted to do, or I failed to meet other people's expectations.

1167
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 2: It actually had nothing to do with the winning gold

1168
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 2: or it was failing to live up to expectations. But

1169
00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 2: it's detaching from that, which is so hard. That that

1170
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 2: gold medal is not you. It doesn't it is not

1171
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:32,880
Speaker 2: it's not you. It's external from you. So but oh,

1172
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 2: that took me so long, And I don't know that

1173
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 2: I've ever really done it super well. But I don't.

1174
00:58:40,080 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 2: I think that's really hard to do.

1175
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 1: They say, it's my therapist says to me, like when

1176
00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:50,760
Speaker 1: I get caught up with so it's intrinsic values estrinsic values,

1177
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 1: So a gold medal would be extrinsic, so it would

1178
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:57,640
Speaker 1: be a beautiful Ferrari car, so it'd be a Schnelle bag.

1179
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,920
Speaker 1: Beautiful things, yes, wonderful thing don't afford them right now

1180
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: but no same.

1181
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 2: But but also those things don't make me happy, so

1182
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 2: you get them.

1183
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:08,919
Speaker 1: I do get a moment if I buy a bag,

1184
00:59:09,480 --> 00:59:13,520
Speaker 1: like a little moment, but then I don't. It doesn't last, no,

1185
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 1: very sure. Whereas intrinsic values are like how you feel

1186
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:20,280
Speaker 1: in your heart and some one feels when they're with you,

1187
00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 1: and your value system, when you're passionate doing what you

1188
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 1: love you on purpose?

1189
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was the dama?

1190
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 1: Yeah? Darma?

1191
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 2: Is that why? So I was going to ask you?

1192
00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 2: Is that why she was called Dharma? And Greg?

1193
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,040
Speaker 1: Hopefully spelling?

1194
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 2: It isn't about spelling. That's what I thought. I thought,

1195
00:59:36,160 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 2: maybe Almos look at that. She was really Yogi, wasn't

1196
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 2: she super? Yeah there's been a revamp of that show.

1197
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:46,680
Speaker 1: I think, oh maybe there were. I don't know, I

1198
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:48,200
Speaker 1: got it. I just got mixed up for two seconds

1199
00:59:48,200 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 1: in my head with Will and Grace. I don't know.

1200
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 2: Similar same time, same time, same era, quickly because I mean,

1201
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 2: we could talk all about I do.

1202
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 1: I want you to just touch on because I still

1203
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 1: I think it is still so poignant for now bullying

1204
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: and I know you copped it, and I know a

1205
01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:14,479
Speaker 1: few people meant to be your I guess colleagues didn't

1206
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 1: have your back that should have had your back. But

1207
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 1: you don't need to talk about specifics. But I mean,

1208
01:00:19,760 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: like being bullied and in a toxic environment. People go

1209
01:00:24,680 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 1: through that all the time.

1210
01:00:25,600 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 2: All the time, and it's really funny. I was never

1211
01:00:27,840 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: through school. I sailed through school. I was not popular,

1212
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 2: I was not unpopular. I just sort of sailed through.

1213
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 2: So I never had experienced anything like this. But when

1214
01:00:35,840 --> 01:00:38,600
Speaker 2: I came across one person that I had to be

1215
01:00:38,680 --> 01:00:41,760
Speaker 2: on the same team as them, just I have never

1216
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 2: dealt with someone like that before in the way that

1217
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:49,160
Speaker 2: and I won't mention their name, but I've never dealt

1218
01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 2: with someone with those values that are very different to mine,

1219
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 2: that butt up against mine, that are just very different.

1220
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,439
Speaker 2: And that's okay, But it's taken me a long time

1221
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 2: to see that values were just very different. We just

1222
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,760
Speaker 2: didn't a line, didn't gel And I have a lot

1223
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 2: of forgiveness for that time because I think it came

1224
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:08,960
Speaker 2: from a lot of pain. And this is what we're

1225
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:11,760
Speaker 2: talking about earlier in the podcast. I see someone who

1226
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:13,640
Speaker 2: was in a lot of pain, that was struggling with

1227
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 2: a lot of whether it be insecurity or self worth.

1228
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,360
Speaker 2: I'm not making judgments. That's for them to make up

1229
01:01:19,560 --> 01:01:23,560
Speaker 2: for themselves, to work through themselves. But it's I see

1230
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:27,040
Speaker 2: someone in pain. And so originally, when this happened to me,

1231
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:29,680
Speaker 2: I took that really personally and thought it was a

1232
01:01:29,680 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 2: personal attack against me. This person didn't like me, This

1233
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 2: person liked nothing about me and would target me and

1234
01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 2: use things against me.

1235
01:01:37,680 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 1: But now you've like a little example of something I said.

1236
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:44,040
Speaker 2: It might be little things. Now this sounds really insignificant

1237
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 2: now when I say it, But when I was training,

1238
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 2: it would be things like, oh, why does she get

1239
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 2: to go out to get out so early? You know

1240
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 2: she's always complaining this, and that I thought, Well, because

1241
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 2: I've been around for twelve years, I've been doing this

1242
01:01:54,240 --> 01:01:57,520
Speaker 2: for a very long time, and I don't change my stripe.

1243
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 2: Just little things or little picky thing or little narky

1244
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:02,920
Speaker 2: things about the way I looked or the way I dressed,

1245
01:02:03,080 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 2: or or just behind my back and it just it

1246
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,360
Speaker 2: just grated me, and I confronted it head on. I said, look,

1247
01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,800
Speaker 2: what is your problem with me? Please, if you have

1248
01:02:11,880 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 2: a problem with me, just tell me. Yeah, it just

1249
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 2: and if you thought it sought it and just couldn't

1250
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:21,920
Speaker 2: couldn't it couldn't front it in that situation. So I

1251
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 2: just see a hurt person who was coming from a

1252
01:02:26,240 --> 01:02:31,800
Speaker 2: really insecure place projecting onto me, just almost projectile, vomiting

1253
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,960
Speaker 2: all the things that they didn't like about themselves and

1254
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 2: was putting it on me. So this is all my

1255
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 2: therapy coming out. But a lot of people are going

1256
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,920
Speaker 2: through this stuff. They might work with someone like that.

1257
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 2: It might be their partner, might be romantic partner, it

1258
01:02:45,280 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 2: might be it's just yeah, narcissism in many different forms

1259
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:53,360
Speaker 2: and facets. So but when we come from a place

1260
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 2: of hurt, that stuff is not pretty and we projected

1261
01:02:56,800 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 2: onto other people and it's not nice. So I can't

1262
01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 2: from a place of forgiveness. Never, you don't have to

1263
01:03:03,160 --> 01:03:07,320
Speaker 2: apologize to me. I'm not interested. I just see see

1264
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 2: it for what it truly is. So, but that takes

1265
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,959
Speaker 2: a lot of work because at the time it hurts and.

1266
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 1: It don't have that So much. You've now got the

1267
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,200
Speaker 1: perspective to understand, oh, you're saying something mean to me,

1268
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:21,680
Speaker 1: something you're probably going through shit, But at the time

1269
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:23,160
Speaker 1: you would have been like, what's the better.

1270
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:28,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the most I think pain I felt

1271
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:32,440
Speaker 2: from someone who another female that I felt should have

1272
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:36,720
Speaker 2: had my back, is probably used things against me. Personal

1273
01:03:36,720 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 2: things against me that I might have offered in forming

1274
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 2: a friendship, and that's been used against me. So it's

1275
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:47,000
Speaker 2: it hurts, It really does, and I didn't realize that

1276
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 2: at the time. I just became really defensive and angry

1277
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: and felt sorry for myself. But that's a natural totally.

1278
01:03:54,440 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 1: This is like unpacking. But I think what's so cool

1279
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 1: is that you've said, like, bullying sucks and it hurts.

1280
01:04:01,960 --> 01:04:05,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really hurts because you you have then become

1281
01:04:05,400 --> 01:04:10,600
Speaker 2: a target for their murky dark energy and they're just

1282
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 2: spewing it on you and you just happen to be

1283
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 2: the target for it. So I just don't know that

1284
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 2: you can take that personally. At the time, you do

1285
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 2: take it personally, and yeah, but after a few years

1286
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 2: gain perspective, and I just I never say I try

1287
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:29,080
Speaker 2: not to say anything bad about that person because I

1288
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 2: just I don't think you fight fire with fire. It's

1289
01:04:32,280 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 2: not worth it. It's you've got to grow and your

1290
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 2: spiritual growth is the journey is different for everyone. Everyone's

1291
01:04:38,360 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 2: at different levels with their spiritual growth. And if you're

1292
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 2: just vibing on a different level, just let it be.

1293
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 1: And I think what you've said that's so empowering is

1294
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: like if it does hurt, like it definitely does hurt,

1295
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:54,040
Speaker 1: but don't be afraid to get the help, Like get

1296
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:56,919
Speaker 1: a therapist so you can process that, so you can unpack.

1297
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:00,280
Speaker 2: That or acknowledge that it hurts, yes, and feel it,

1298
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 2: feel every moment. And this is where a lot of

1299
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:06,120
Speaker 2: people and myself included in the past have might have

1300
01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:09,880
Speaker 2: used wine, or some people use drugs or whatever it.

1301
01:05:09,880 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 1: Is to dull the whole family block of marvelous great,

1302
01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: thank you very much.

1303
01:05:14,320 --> 01:05:18,320
Speaker 2: And it doesn't and it does, it works temporarily, but

1304
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,600
Speaker 2: it's about self love and self care and reminding yourself

1305
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:23,680
Speaker 2: who you are as a person, that you are worthy

1306
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,680
Speaker 2: and you are a good person. As long as you're

1307
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:28,360
Speaker 2: doing the right things, you're not hurting anyone else in

1308
01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: the process. You've got to come back to that. So

1309
01:05:34,600 --> 01:05:36,439
Speaker 2: we want deep We went real deep.

1310
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,520
Speaker 1: I can't thank you enough.

1311
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 2: Thanks Chicken, Thanks for having me.

1312
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:45,200
Speaker 1: Thank you Chicken. I think you've been very honest about

1313
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 1: your failures and you've obviously gone deep, but also like

1314
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 1: you've just been like fucking real and your stuff is

1315
01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: going to one in power and help others to just

1316
01:05:58,040 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 1: know that it's okay to feel shit every.

1317
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 2: Now and you don't have to wallow in it. You

1318
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:04,720
Speaker 2: can talk to someone else. They're not going to judge you.

1319
01:06:04,720 --> 01:06:06,520
Speaker 2: You can work through it. You can work through anything,

1320
01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,600
Speaker 2: and in your deepest, darkest moments and your lowest times,

1321
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 2: dig deep find what you've got there. You'll learn so

1322
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 2: much more about yourself. It is a real privilege to

1323
01:06:15,040 --> 01:06:16,800
Speaker 2: go to the bottom of the deep dark hole to

1324
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 2: see what's down there, and you'll realize it's not that

1325
01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 2: scary you just got to face at front on, but

1326
01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,000
Speaker 2: the nicest thing and you just said it then, being

1327
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 2: real it's the big thing. Honesty is a big thing

1328
01:06:27,240 --> 01:06:29,520
Speaker 2: for me. I wish more people were honest about their

1329
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 2: journeys and showing the shit stuff, and it would be

1330
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,160
Speaker 2: so nice because we'd all feel a bit more normal

1331
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 2: and just thinking, oh, yeah, we're all normal, we're all

1332
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:40,600
Speaker 2: doing the same stuff. We've all got our ound issues.

1333
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:42,480
Speaker 1: Everyone sorting this out.

1334
01:06:42,880 --> 01:06:45,280
Speaker 2: They are, and some are just a little bit more

1335
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 2: public than others, and their shit don't stink any different.

1336
01:06:48,760 --> 01:06:52,040
Speaker 2: It still stinks. And we're rule full of shit, rule

1337
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 2: full of our own shit.

1338
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 1: Well, we're all working through and navigating this weird thing

1339
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:56,680
Speaker 1: called life.

1340
01:06:57,160 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 2: And don't judge other people's journey. Don't judge your own journey.

1341
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:04,240
Speaker 2: Don't judge it, just live it. And I think own

1342
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 2: who you are. Oh, that's a big one, Like be

1343
01:07:08,560 --> 01:07:09,640
Speaker 2: honest with yourself.

1344
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 1: And there's something so freeing about being really honest as well,

1345
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 1: Like even for me, my stuff is food. I get

1346
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:20,160
Speaker 1: triggered by food, Like if I'm getting stressed out, I'm

1347
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:22,120
Speaker 1: like I either go one way or the other, emotional

1348
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:26,120
Speaker 1: eating totally. And I had an event, actually had I

1349
01:07:26,120 --> 01:07:28,479
Speaker 1: had something coming up with Steph. Steph's taking me away

1350
01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:30,400
Speaker 1: for the seph Premier is taking away for the Hot

1351
01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 1: Springs and I know I've got a shoot straight after it,

1352
01:07:32,920 --> 01:07:34,360
Speaker 1: and I said to her, She's like, let's go to

1353
01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,600
Speaker 1: a big lunch. Are we going to go and go

1354
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: to the Hot Springs? And I was like, dude, I

1355
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 1: know what I'm like, two days out of a shoot,

1356
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to be scared. And I said, can I

1357
01:07:43,680 --> 01:07:45,560
Speaker 1: organize a juice cleans and I'll organize one for you

1358
01:07:45,640 --> 01:07:48,280
Speaker 1: if you want to. But I said, I just I'm

1359
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,840
Speaker 1: not prepping my food and knowing what I'm eating, and

1360
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm eating out. I said, that's a slippery slope for me.

1361
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:56,439
Speaker 1: And I've never had the balls to say, hey, I'll

1362
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:58,240
Speaker 1: be funny about food the lead up to a shoot.

1363
01:07:58,240 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 1: And she was like, you know, worries, Let's have a

1364
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:00,720
Speaker 1: really healthy day.

1365
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 2: And see when you're honest, when.

1366
01:08:03,800 --> 01:08:08,640
Speaker 1: You're open and real, and you are so real chicken

1367
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:15,080
Speaker 1: never And I just hope that you can see yourself

1368
01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:17,960
Speaker 1: through my eyes sometimes when you're like lose a deal

1369
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:21,280
Speaker 1: or something doesn't go right or something feels icky, because

1370
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:24,200
Speaker 1: I can see the magic in you and I totally

1371
01:08:24,280 --> 01:08:27,080
Speaker 1: believe in you, and I know that even when you

1372
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 1: feel like, uh, that thing didn't work out, or someone

1373
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,639
Speaker 1: else or you're comparing someone else got a great gig,

1374
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 1: and you're like, I would have loved that gig. You

1375
01:08:36,040 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 1: are totally going to be You are totally gonna make

1376
01:08:38,880 --> 01:08:41,840
Speaker 1: it in whatever way that looks like, Yeah, I don't

1377
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:45,599
Speaker 1: question that for one single second. You are the real deal.

1378
01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 2: And you know what I think we also, I know

1379
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:49,880
Speaker 2: we're wrapping up here, but this is probably one thing

1380
01:08:49,880 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 2: to leave it on. No one ever has it figured out.

1381
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:56,080
Speaker 2: There is no there's no line that we cross at

1382
01:08:56,080 --> 01:08:59,280
Speaker 2: the end of life and go, we've crossed the line.

1383
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:02,920
Speaker 2: There is no line. The day you die is the

1384
01:09:03,000 --> 01:09:05,200
Speaker 2: end of the line. But you don't You're not going

1385
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:07,360
Speaker 2: to cross it thirty years earlier and say across the

1386
01:09:07,400 --> 01:09:08,400
Speaker 2: line now, nobody?

1387
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,559
Speaker 1: Do you know what you have experienced and shared today

1388
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 1: where you felt lit up when you did two thousand

1389
01:09:13,439 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 1: and four Comwealth Games fourteen years fourteen. Sorry, I'm going back.

1390
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:20,400
Speaker 2: To a long life. I was not a good person

1391
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:23,360
Speaker 2: in four Yeah, I was not. I was not a

1392
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:24,920
Speaker 2: wholesome being in two thousand and four.

1393
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 1: But you talked about an experience where you were lit up,

1394
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:32,439
Speaker 1: and you can identify with that and remember how that

1395
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 1: feels in your heart, in how you would have felt

1396
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:37,240
Speaker 1: during the day and what you were doing and the

1397
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:40,400
Speaker 1: lead up. And I bet like it's those moments I

1398
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 1: know when I'm filming or I'm doing a PB like

1399
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: I can feel it in my heart, your heart glows

1400
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:47,960
Speaker 1: and even like doing acting school, like people like what

1401
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:50,120
Speaker 1: you think, and I'm in acting schol I'm the oldest

1402
01:09:50,120 --> 01:09:53,000
Speaker 1: person by ten years. And I said to my therapist.

1403
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, I'm the oldest person.

1404
01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:57,879
Speaker 2: I said, you were thirty twenty four in the class.

1405
01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:01,320
Speaker 1: Who cares, he goes, that's he goes, that's his superpower

1406
01:10:01,560 --> 01:10:04,000
Speaker 1: because you know who you are now you're he goes.

1407
01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,040
Speaker 1: This is a good there's not a bad time to

1408
01:10:06,080 --> 01:10:06,720
Speaker 1: come into this career.

1409
01:10:06,720 --> 01:10:10,240
Speaker 2: And I said, Helen Mirren one of the most beautiful,

1410
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:14,440
Speaker 2: most amazing women on screen. So believable.

1411
01:10:14,600 --> 01:10:16,560
Speaker 1: Someone said, Mucky Weaver.

1412
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,560
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, it's amazing.

1413
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,320
Speaker 1: Sixties and incredible.

1414
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:23,920
Speaker 2: They're they're great. You know, I just look up to

1415
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:25,719
Speaker 2: those people. It's so beautiful.

1416
01:10:25,880 --> 01:10:28,080
Speaker 1: I actually think, and I heard you say it's on

1417
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 1: another podcast. In the scheme of things, we're still very young, so.

1418
01:10:31,040 --> 01:10:34,280
Speaker 2: Young, of course, you know, and I think we're I do.

1419
01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:38,080
Speaker 1: I think the virgo, the pressure, all of that. Thank

1420
01:10:38,160 --> 01:10:40,720
Speaker 1: you for opening your heart, thank you for being having me.

1421
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:43,840
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to see what's next for you, because

1422
01:10:43,920 --> 01:10:46,760
Speaker 1: I know epic ship is coming your way.

1423
01:10:46,920 --> 01:10:48,599
Speaker 2: I'm sitting in a bit of a hole at the moment,

1424
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 2: but yes, you know I have I do have faith

1425
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 2: and trust something is coming and.

1426
01:10:53,600 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 1: Also rock bottom or a hole. Someone once said to me,

1427
01:10:57,280 --> 01:11:00,560
Speaker 1: You've got two choices. You get to stay there or

1428
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:01,320
Speaker 1: you get to change.

1429
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:06,200
Speaker 2: I'm growing. I'm definitely I'm going through big growth at

1430
01:11:06,240 --> 01:11:07,960
Speaker 2: the moment. Yeah, big stuff, so same.

1431
01:11:08,560 --> 01:11:09,280
Speaker 1: I love that.

1432
01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:10,160
Speaker 2: It's exciting.

1433
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:16,320
Speaker 1: Chicken. I think you're freaking amazing and I cannot wait

1434
01:11:16,400 --> 01:11:17,320
Speaker 1: to see your star here.

1435
01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:20,639
Speaker 2: It's been an absolute pleasure to be on your podcast

1436
01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:23,439
Speaker 2: and share my story and I'm so glad you had

1437
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:26,200
Speaker 2: me on. Yes, let's go on to do bigger and

1438
01:11:26,280 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 2: better things Chicken, big love. Sorry I took your sign off.

1439
01:11:31,240 --> 01:11:36,400
Speaker 1: I love it. That's a wrap on another episode of

1440
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:41,360
Speaker 1: Fearlessly Failing. As always, thank you to our guests, and

1441
01:11:41,520 --> 01:11:46,680
Speaker 1: let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollaberry.

1442
01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:51,479
Speaker 1: This potty my word for podcast is available on all

1443
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:55,479
Speaker 1: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate

1444
01:11:55,680 --> 01:11:58,400
Speaker 1: and comment, and of course spread the love.

1445
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:02,040
Speaker 2: O