WEBVTT - How to know it’s time to leave: GRWM Series Part 2 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.120 I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:06.560 land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:10.520 Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:14.280 and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 0:00:14.360 --> 0:00:22.639 Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:30.200 and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.760 the podcast where which have mindset, self development and becoming 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:37.120 your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:40.320 plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:43.800 and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 0:00:43.920 --> 0:00:47.440 of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:49.839 matter where you are in your journey, We're here to 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:53.800 help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:54.800 self awareness. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:58.040 If you're ready to get into the. 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.960 Driver's seat of your own life and stop letting life 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:11.840 pass you by, then you're in the right place. Hello everybody, 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:15.160 and welcome back to the podcast. Today is part two 0:01:15.280 --> 0:01:18.440 of our Get Ready with Me for twenty twenty four series. 0:01:18.560 --> 0:01:20.640 In this series, I take you through some of the 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.920 biggest lessons of twenty twenty three and give you my 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.920 top tips and exercises to help you get ready for 0:01:26.959 --> 0:01:30.560 the new year. So in today's episode, we are covering 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:34.560 the topic of how and when to pivot and if 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:37.600 you actually need to pivot. So this could be leaving 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:41.399 a job, ending a relationship, or a friendship. It can 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.600 be like so difficult to actually find the line between 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.720 putting the effort in versus knowing that something is not 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:49.280 meant for. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:50.800 You, it's meant to end. 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:54.680 And we really unpack all of that in this episode. 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.360 And I wanted to bring this episode into this series 0:01:57.400 --> 0:01:59.240 because I feel like at the end of the year 0:01:59.800 --> 0:02:05.200 there's this huge sense of heaviness. We're all quite tired, 0:02:05.880 --> 0:02:08.880 you know, our energy is feeling drained, and I feel 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:12.160 like a lot of us can go straight too. Well, 0:02:12.240 --> 0:02:13.840 you know, this thing isn't for me. 0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:17.200 I'm not meant to have this thing or this person. 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:20.240 And so I just wanted to give you a bit 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.920 of guidance, some couple of exercises to really feel into it, 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:27.480 to make a good decision of if you should pivot 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:30.760 or if you simply just need a rest. It's like 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:33.760 reminds me very much of when I thought I was 0:02:33.800 --> 0:02:36.760 going to not continue the podcast because I was so 0:02:36.840 --> 0:02:40.160 overwhelmed and it turned out I just needed to navigate 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:43.000 it differently. But then it also has been times in 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:47.119 my life where absolutely that friendship needed to end or 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:49.440 it was just the end of a certain season in 0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:51.600 my life, and I had to like lean into that 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:55.280 and commit to that. So that is what we're chatting 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:57.040 about today. And I wanted to bring this up too, 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.359 because this is a constant theme in our Facebook group, 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:03.239 you know, when it comes to like ending a friendship 0:03:03.320 --> 0:03:07.360 or a relationship or even a job. So this episode 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:11.680 is so so juicy. Also, guys, before I get into 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.920 the episode, I do want to say, do it for 0:03:14.960 --> 0:03:20.240 your future Self is now available fifty percent off. This 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:25.440 is our signature Clarity course. So if you want clarity 0:03:25.520 --> 0:03:28.560 for twenty twenty four, this is the course for you. 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:32.680 It is only seven days, seven modules, and it's going 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:38.440 to guide you through all the exercise, meditations prompts to 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:42.520 actually get clear on what you want to call into 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:45.520 twenty twenty four. So we all did this in twenty 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:49.800 twenty three, and holy shit, guys, it honestly changed my 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:52.760 whole year. It's the reason why I've had such a 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:57.000 huge foundational and growth year, and it's because I got 0:03:57.120 --> 0:04:00.880 so clear on what I actually wanted to in this year, 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:03.520 So come and do it with us. It is currently 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:07.559 fifty percent off only for December, so it is absolutely 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:11.480 the perfect time to grab it, do your reflections, and 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:15.440 start planning for an epic twenty twenty four. But of 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:18.200 course our recommendations are tia. 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.880 Yes, I have two books to recommend. Two they are 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:26.520 fiction though, so it's. 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:27.360 Don't get too excited. 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:32.240 Tell me it's Fourth Wing and Iron Flame. Now I'm 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:35.159 really late to the bandwagon on this one. Who's the author? 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:38.560 Rebecca Yaros is the author, and I think Fourth Wing 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.840 came out a while ago, but Iron Flame just came 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.840 out and one of my best friends said, you have 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:46.359 to read it and then read the second one. I 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.760 read this book in about a week and a half. 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:52.279 Devoured it, devoured it. And what's it about. It's tell 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:54.680 me dragons and romans. 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:57.640 No, no, no, I love that. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:02.000 Yeah, it fes not yet, but I wouldn't be surprised 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:05.760 if they came in. Like it's a lot of magic 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:08.800 and like a mix of like learning to control magic, 0:05:08.839 --> 0:05:11.760 and there's like dark magic and this whole sort of 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:13.760 like conspiracy and rebellion. 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:15.560 Like it's so good. 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:16.960 And I'm gonna read it. 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.680 I think you'd love it, Like if you need a 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:22.320 wind down book for like before bed kind of thing. 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.719 This is perfect. And I genuinely and this is a 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:28.839 big thing for me. Did not watch any TV or 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:32.200 movies on the weekend. I just read these books like nothing. 0:05:32.520 --> 0:05:34.720 The only TV series I'm watching is the one I 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.160 recommended last week, which is like an episode a week, 0:05:37.520 --> 0:05:40.480 and every other wet spare moment I have, I'm reading 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:41.000 these books. 0:05:41.040 --> 0:05:42.520 I'm obsessed with those sorts of odds. 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:44.560 Yes, I will, definitely, I'll do it. 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:45.760 Yeah, I'll do it for Christmas. 0:05:45.880 --> 0:05:47.120 Yeah, And let me know what you think. 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:48.920 What's your rec for this week? 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:55.520 So this week, my recommendation is I have already started doing. 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:56.600 Do it for your future self. 0:05:56.760 --> 0:06:00.640 So well, that's the amazing thing about this is you 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:03.000 do have instant access if you get it, so you 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:05.360 can literally buy it right now and get a head 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:09.360 start on like reflections. And I think it's so potent 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:15.279 to do reflections in the current year because you're not 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.080 like blinded by the rose colored glasses of like New 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:23.240 Year Numi so clever, where you're like you've been bombarded 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:25.839 with all like the this year's gonna be the best year. 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.000 And I don't know, just like very swayed, but I 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.320 love that you should have certain goals or whatnot. So 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:34.279 I think there's so much potency in creating your goals 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.960 from your inner compass and like you're in a world 0:06:37.960 --> 0:06:41.920 and your reflections and so it's really important to do 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:45.039 that in the now. And that's actually why we included 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.040 the bonus module that is do It for your Future Self, 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:51.080 but it's a monthly addition where you can do this 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:54.320 course every single month, like a mini version, so it 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:55.960 doesn't get to the end of the year. Because that 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:59.840 was the feedback that when we're doing reflections on the year, 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:03.240 to get through actually reflecting on the whole year, it 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:04.600 can be like hours. 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:05.640 Yeah, it's a lot. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.440 Yeah, So that's why we have that bonus module and 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.600 do it for Future Self now, so you guys will 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:13.520 get that on day eight and that's like basically, yeah, 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:16.360 do it for future self mini version, do it monthly. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:18.840 And because I've been doing. 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.480 That myself this whole year, so I was so excited 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:24.720 to give you guys that bonus. But I was reflecting 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:28.720 and like the biggest blind spot of myself this year 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:36.360 has been this cycle of me over committing because I 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:40.800 get really excited about certain projects. So I've noticed my boundaries, 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.240 like with my family life has been like so strict, 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.720 So like my time with Tim and Ivy, that's like elite. 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:48.960 I don't have to fix any of those buckets there. 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.960 But I do this thing with my work where I 0:07:52.000 --> 0:07:54.080 do get really excited and I'll say yes to a 0:07:54.080 --> 0:07:57.440 certain project, not really realizing the time that it's going 0:07:57.520 --> 0:08:00.120 to take. And then I do the project and I can, 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:02.840 you know, feel a bit like overwhelmed, a bit burnout, 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.480 and I didn't really think it through. I was just 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:08.560 like over excited. Yeah, So that's like a really interesting 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.880 reflection that I'm changing now in my schedule for next year. 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:17.080 But something new I've been doing is starting my meetings later. 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:18.840 So I don't know if you notice this in my 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:22.040 schedule it's here, but I used to start my meetings. 0:08:21.640 --> 0:08:23.000 At seven thirty. 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:22.720 First. 0:08:22.960 --> 0:08:24.240 Ye first thing, I. 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:28.640 Was fucking the first one here like very like let's rigid, structured, 0:08:28.720 --> 0:08:31.760 and that's important. But I've just literally moved it down 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:35.440 to eight thirty. So I've got this extra hour and 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:39.280 I have been reading, I have been journaling, I have 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.319 been going to the beach and really giving myself this 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:45.280 extra hour. And I know there's privilege in that because 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:47.720 I have my own company, like I make my your 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:53.720 own hours, But oh my goodness, the amount of like gratitude, 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:58.800 creativity and just like space. Yeah, that I honestly feel 0:08:58.800 --> 0:09:01.480 like my whole day has changed, and I've changed one 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:04.440 hour of my day, which is wild and it's wild. 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:06.200 And that's the thing is, you can't just copy what 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:09.560 I'm doing. You have to do this own reflection because 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:12.240 this really came up for me when I did the exercises. 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.840 So that's like something that I just want to like. 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:18.640 My recommendation is like, really, if there's anything you do 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.959 in December, reflect and make sure you do it in 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:25.480 a non shameful way. But just in a matter of fact, oh, 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:28.600 what needs to change, what needs to shift? And just 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.080 that tiny shift. It's not even the new year, and 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:34.640 I already feel like, oh, I honestly feels like a lift, 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:37.680 like an heel, and it feels so good. 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.520 So have you just been doing just that sort of 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:43.920 reflection module or are you slowly working through the entire course. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:45.840 I'm gonna do the entire course. 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.840 Are you going to redo it in Jain or like yeah, okay, 0:09:50.880 --> 0:09:53.840 but I'm like, and you guys don't have to do this. 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:55.840 I'm just like a psycho of self. 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:58.040 Development and I like love it, like I would do 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.000 self development. Well, I do do it in my sped time. 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.920 So I'm doing it in December, and then I also 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:04.720 want to do it in January. And you know what's 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:07.640 going to be really interesting comparing. Yeah, I want to see, 0:10:07.800 --> 0:10:10.480 like what's the difference doing it basically a couple of 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:12.720 weeks after each other, and I know the energy is 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:16.120 so different come jan first. So yeah, I'm really excited 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:20.280 because no joke, my reflections right now they're like not sad. 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:23.200 But like you're a bit more down. There's heaviness. Yeah, 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:25.880 there's heaviness. So but that has just been incredible. 0:10:26.000 --> 0:10:29.600 But I've already from doing a reflection made a shift 0:10:29.679 --> 0:10:33.480 and like just feel lighter and yeah, so reflection, guys, 0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:34.480 that's what I would say. 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:35.120 I love that. 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.440 All right, She'll get into the episode. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:48.640 Yes, So a Tia a huge conversation that we have 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.679 been having in the R and C Facebook group. 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:53.839 PS. If you're not in there, come and join us. 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:59.000 It's where all the epic conversations happen, and it's just 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.040 such a great to like be with like minded people 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:06.880 journeys you But like a huge theme that we saw 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:10.080 in the group I reckon the last six months would 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:15.800 be this theme of pivoting. So whether it is a job, 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.040 like their career just doesn't light them up anymore, they 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:22.240 need to shift. Whether it was like a friendship group 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.360 of just being like I just don't vibe with these 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:27.760 people anymore and having a bit of guilt about that, 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:30.760 whether it was like a partner, you know, we had 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:37.000 people literally divorce. Honestly, we had so many posts and 0:11:37.040 --> 0:11:39.920 they're just being like, I'm just not sure I'm in 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:42.520 love with my partner anymore. And first of all, I 0:11:42.559 --> 0:11:46.240 love that everyone in the group is so vulnerable and 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:50.040 so like ready to just like say their truth, because 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.760 that is such a huge, you know, piece to it. 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.640 But this has been a massive theme. So we thought, 0:11:56.880 --> 0:12:00.520 you know, for this series, so important to talk about 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.920 pivoting because also it's the end of the year. You know, 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:06.320 that year is closing out, We're about to enter a 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:10.319 new year, and this is the perfect time to end 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:14.360 the cycles that you don't want to continue. For twenty 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:19.280 twenty four to end the relationships, to end the you know, 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.920 the routines that aren't serving you. The end, like get 0:12:23.000 --> 0:12:26.280 rid of the energy that is not serving you. This 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:29.280 is the time to do it. Quick side note, I 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.280 don't know if you guys are into like numerology, but 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:37.040 in numerology, I'm in my ninth year, which is like 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:40.360 the last year before I enter a new cycle. So 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:45.560 my spiritual advisor has said, like, this is the year 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:50.400 you drop all the shit because whatever you take into 0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:53.160 you know the next year you're going to have for 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:56.680 nine years, so you better fucking like it. And so 0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:00.000 I have really taken this on this year and probably 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:05.240 had the most shifts, the most, pivoting the most just 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:09.200 like nope, doesn't serve me. I'm done with this moments. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:13.040 And that's probably why this shar hasn't felt the greatest 0:13:13.080 --> 0:13:15.400 because there has been a lot of grieving for me. 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:19.200 There has been a lot of ending of chapters of things, 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.720 and it does it feels like grieving. I'm just like 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:24.480 tapping into it right now, and I'm like, it does 0:13:24.600 --> 0:13:28.440 it feels like. It's why sometimes it's hard to be 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:32.760 in excitement and enjoy when you're pivoting because you're literally 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:38.080 losing something, but also you know it doesn't serve you anymore. 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:41.640 You're going to your next level. You're jumping timelines, and 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:45.160 it's really important to honor that. If you continue to 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:51.280 entertain these relationships, there's career, you know, there's energy, whatever it's. 0:13:51.720 --> 0:13:54.120 You know that you're going to be worse off. Like 0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.600 you know it's hard now, but it's going to be 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:01.520 harder if you don't let these things go. This is 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:05.320 a hard thing, Like pivoting is such a hard thing, 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.440 and I really understand why so many of us are 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.520 going through it is like it's the year for it. 0:14:10.760 --> 0:14:14.040 Yeah, And I think even aside from like relationships and 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.599 jobs and friendships, even a lot of people moving countries 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:21.960 moving into state this year, big changes, big changes. And 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:25.120 I also feel like with pivoting, it can be so 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:30.160 hard because so often it's like almost like when you 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:32.960 graduate school and all you can think about is the 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:33.680 good times. 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.360 I didn't go through that. It was like fank fire, 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:44.440 all right, But it's like why is that such a 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:46.200 fucking reflection of you as a person. 0:14:49.280 --> 0:14:52.800 It's just like when you leave something, it's so easy 0:14:52.840 --> 0:14:55.600 to forget all the bad and difficult times. 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:57.440 Yes, sorry, I know what you're saying. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:00.360 Almost like rose colored glasses on. 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:01.600 Yeah. 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.360 So that's I think also what makes pivoting so much 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:08.880 harder because it's like your brain blocks out the reason 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:11.680 you're even leaving in the first place, and you convince yourself, oh, 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:12.520 it's actually not that bad. 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.000 Maybe I could just stay. It's like, maybe I'll just 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:15.560 be fine. 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:20.720 It's the quote of as humans, we will always pick 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:27.840 a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven. Oh yeah, we 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.960 like we always cling to comfort, which is why it 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:34.840 is so uncomfortable for us to choose that new option, 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:40.200 for us to be bold and change something, to completely pivot. Like, 0:15:40.240 --> 0:15:43.080 that's why it's so hard. We fucking love comfort. We 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.120 thrive off it. I feel like this episode is going 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.000 to be very timely. Probably a lot of you are 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.640 going to resonate with this. I'm resonating with this. I 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.920 know an RC community is resonating with this. So the 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.600 first thing I want you to do, and this is 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.360 so important, do not bypass this step. You need to 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:04.720 sit in a way awareness and not make yourself wrong. Guys, 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.000 if you go straight to shame guilt, we all know 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:13.000 that on like the barometer of vibration's feelings. That is 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:16.840 the lowest vibration, and we know nothing good can come 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:21.440 from that. Like you know that section that yeah barometer, 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:22.400 what would you call that? 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:24.960 It's the Hawken's Scale of consciousness. 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.960 Anyway, thanks to we know nothing good comes from that. 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:32.120 So it's really important to sit in awareness and not 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:38.040 make ourselves wrong because guys, the universe is guiding our 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.440 desires and it is up to us to trust our 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:47.240 desires and be okay with change. Guys, if there's one 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.640 thing you strengthen right now during this period, it is 0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:55.560 getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you strengthen this part 0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:59.080 of yourself, this is a skill that will benefit you 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:03.120 for your entire life. Like I said, you know, we 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:07.280 will always cling to a familiar hell rather than an 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.639 unfamiliar heaven. And we're not doing that because it's just 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.960 going to keep us stuck. It's not going to serve us. 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:18.320 So it's really important to first of all stop not 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.480 make ourselves wrong. So this what I mean by that 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:25.280 is often when we pivot, it doesn't make sense. So 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:29.480 an example for me was I had literally done six 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:33.640 years of study. I had done my internship, my clerkship, 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:35.960 I had literally gone to the court. It's got my 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.760 fucking little certificate that said I'm a lawyer, got a 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:42.439 job as a lawyer. And then I was like, you 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:47.199 know what, I'm not gonna do this it logically that 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:52.159 is the most illogical decision ever. And so that's why 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:56.560 I'm saying, don't make yourself wrong, because often I guarantee you, 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:59.119 you know, it's the partner that you maybe are not 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.960 feeling the love for. You're like, you know, but he's 0:18:01.960 --> 0:18:05.600 so nice, he buys me gifts, he's my family loves him. 0:18:05.640 --> 0:18:09.000 My family. Yeah, like, it's logically not going to make sense. Now, 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:11.520 I need you to put that in a little container 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.679 beside you, because it's just not how it works. You 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:17.600 need to This is coming up for a reason, and 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.119 the more you suppress it, the more that you are 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:24.399 basically gonna fuck yourself up in the future. Anytime you 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:28.560 suppress emotions, they are going to come out in toxic 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:34.240 ways in the future, in unpredictable self sabotaging ways. So 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:38.840 it's really important to honor these feelings and not suppress them. 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.040 And they just it's so interesting that you say that, 0:18:42.160 --> 0:18:46.000 because it can be any emotion, not just anger or 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:49.320 resentment or anything. It could be even anxiety or a 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:52.200 little bit of sadness. But if you almost like think 0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:55.320 about putting I don't know, if someone locked you behind 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.840 a door and they're not letting you out to just 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:00.640 say how you feel, you're gonna get work and worse 0:19:00.680 --> 0:19:03.600 and worse and louder and louder and louder until they 0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.640 open the door for you. Whereas if they just let 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:08.720 you speak in the first place, you would have just 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:10.919 said what you wanted to say and then gone on 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:12.679 with your day. They would have been able to go 0:19:12.720 --> 0:19:14.240 on with their day. And you have to think of 0:19:14.240 --> 0:19:16.639 your emotions as the same. Like if you don't let 0:19:16.680 --> 0:19:19.280 them just say their peace, or like if you don't 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:22.720 just let yourself feel them for that minute, two minutes, day, 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.960 whatever it is, and you just push them in a cupboard, 0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:28.240 they're just going to get louder and louder and louder, 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:30.359 and like you said, just explode out in a really 0:19:30.400 --> 0:19:33.600 toxic way, and more often than not at the complete 0:19:33.600 --> 0:19:34.120 wrong time. 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:38.800 Yeah. Always, yeah, and then you get embarrassed and then 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.840 the cycle repeats. Yeah. I like, if I look back 0:19:41.880 --> 0:19:44.479 at my past, I've been doing a lot of work 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:48.359 this year with me and Tim's relationship. And you know, 0:19:48.400 --> 0:19:50.919 we've been together since I was seventeen, so fuck like 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:56.879 long time, long time. And there was at the start 0:19:56.920 --> 0:20:02.240 of our relationship, Tim did not communicate at all. He 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.879 he came from a family who did not communicate. I 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:07.760 came from a family who communicated. We just didn't talk 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:10.359 about our feelings. So like, yeah, every night we'd speak 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:13.879 at dinner, We had like good communication, we just like 0:20:14.800 --> 0:20:17.240 didn't talk about our feelings, if that makes sense. But 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:19.600 Tim literally came like they didn't fucking talk. He was 0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:23.560 literally mute. So I'm not even joking it yet. And 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:28.600 so I really struggled in moments in our relationship because 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.800 I didn't have the tools to communicate and express myself 0:20:33.040 --> 0:20:36.080 and because he didn't always feel like a safe place 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:39.560 to express myself, because when I did, it would come 0:20:39.600 --> 0:20:43.960 out in these like really you know, toxic over you know, 0:20:45.000 --> 0:20:49.560 over expressive ways because I like built up I had 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:52.240 not let them out, and then I would explode. And 0:20:52.240 --> 0:20:54.960 then because he'd never like dealt with that, he wouldn't 0:20:55.040 --> 0:20:56.920 know how to deal with it, he would make me wrong, 0:20:57.000 --> 0:20:59.879 and the whole cycle would continue. Yeah, and so we 0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:02.040 have been doing and you know, we've come such a 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:03.760 long way, We've been doing a lot of work on it. 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:09.280 But this year I just had so much awareness of 0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:13.119 what happens when you suppress your feelings and you don't 0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:17.920 have the tools to communicate and articulate yourself and that 0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:19.800 sort of thing, And oh my god, it's just like, 0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:22.800 now I look back, it's so simple to me, but 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:25.639 at the time it was literally I just like didn't 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:27.840 have the tools. But that's like one of the biggest 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.200 things is like learning how to express yourself and honor 0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:34.320 your feelings and not suppress them. Because even if you 0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:37.840 think you've suppressed this desire and you're like, no, I'll 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:40.760 stay with my partner like he's perfect, blah blah blah, 0:21:40.920 --> 0:21:43.800 it is going to boil and boil, boil, And then 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:45.840 maybe it's going to come up in yeah, like a 0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.560 really toxic way. Maybe you're going to act in a 0:21:48.600 --> 0:21:51.479 way that you aren't really like, that isn't aligned with 0:21:51.520 --> 0:21:54.639 your values, and it's like you then turn into this 0:21:54.680 --> 0:21:57.280 person and you're like, what is happening? But it's because 0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:02.320 you haven't honored that initial and you haven't trusted that anyway. 0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:06.200 That was a big grant so as always, and I 0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:10.600 truly believe when something doesn't light you up anymore, like 0:22:10.680 --> 0:22:14.840 I truly believe we are meant to have joy and 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:18.720