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Speaker 1: My heart podcasts, hear more kids podcasts, playlists, and listen

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Speaker 1: live on the Free iHeart a.

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Speaker 2: If you're just joining us, we're talking about this sounds

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Speaker 2: like we're an academic show.

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Speaker 3: We're not.

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Speaker 2: But there's this fascinating study from the Trobe University which

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Speaker 2: you're talking about, which actually concerns sex education for kids.

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Speaker 3: So have you got kids who want to listen up?

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Speaker 4: Or actually, just if you're a dude and you had

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Speaker 4: a really weird sex education, you also probably want to

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Speaker 4: listen up because the study found out that there's a

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Speaker 4: huge gap in dad's giving sex education to their kids

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Speaker 4: and as a result, there are hugely concerning results for

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Speaker 4: young boys.

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Speaker 2: And talk a little bit more about this. Doctor Justinson

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Speaker 2: Coolson joins us again on Will and Woody.

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Speaker 3: Welcome, Doctor just Win you guys. Great to have you

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Speaker 3: on here. Mate.

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Speaker 2: So I understand that you are actually in the middle

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Speaker 2: of writing a book and you've just finished writing a

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Speaker 2: chapter on this.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm writing a book about boys, will be out

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Speaker 5: early next year. Do you at the publisher at the

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Speaker 5: end of this week, So I'm under the path. When

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Speaker 5: I got the call, I was like, I've got to

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Speaker 5: talk about it.

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Speaker 3: All right, great, well, we appreciate the time, mate.

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Speaker 2: So I imagine you've probably come across this study in

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Speaker 2: your research.

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Speaker 3: Then what is this?

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Speaker 2: How is dad's not affecting not talking to young boys

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Speaker 2: about sex affecting them?

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Speaker 5: This is such a tricky one to answer, guys, But fundamentally,

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Speaker 5: what's happening is the load is falling on mum's dads

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Speaker 5: are shirking it and especially for our boys. So here's

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Speaker 5: some status that will blow your mind. Australian child male

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Speaker 5: treatment study published last year, probably the best study of

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Speaker 5: its kind, certainly in Australia, maybe one of the best

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Speaker 5: in the world, found that twenty eight and a half

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Speaker 5: percent twenty eight and a half percent, nearly a third

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Speaker 5: of Australian's experienced childhood sexual abuse, female thirty seven point three percent,

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Speaker 5: males eighteen point eight percent. So girls twice is liking

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Speaker 5: to abuse as boys. But just pause on that for

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Speaker 5: a sect. That means one in five boys as well

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Speaker 5: are experiencing sexual assault in the lives. These are really

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Speaker 5: big numbers and a lot of this happens because we're

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Speaker 5: not talking about consent, we're not talking about sex, we're

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Speaker 5: not talking about sexual violence. When we're actually not having

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Speaker 5: the conversation. Now, there's another really critical thing to highlight

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Speaker 5: here in research where boys, teenage boys are interviewed about this,

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Speaker 5: as much as they pretend that they don't care, they

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Speaker 5: don't want to know, and they know it all already,

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Speaker 5: they actually consistently say that they want to hear about

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Speaker 5: it specifically from their dad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and so why is it important justin for the dads?

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Speaker 1: Do you think to be doing this rather than mum?

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Speaker 5: I think, as I'm writing this book about boys, one

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Speaker 5: of the key things that anthropologists, sociologist, psychologist, pretty much

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Speaker 5: everyone agrees on is Masculinity is learnt by watching other men.

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Speaker 5: Masculinity is not playing that we just become. We actually

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Speaker 5: have to watch other men do it. And there's probably

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Speaker 5: not Probably there's no relationship more important than the sexual relationship,

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Speaker 5: the intimate relationship, the partner relationship between the mum and dad,

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Speaker 5: between a husband and wife, between the people who are

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Speaker 5: biologically creating their offspring. And so when a kid, when

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Speaker 5: a sixteen year old or a fourteen year old or

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Speaker 5: an eleven year old boy sits down with his dad

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Speaker 5: and he's able to talk to his child about that

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Speaker 5: pro creative process and about things like consent. It just

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Speaker 5: changes the game. And t I'm an ambassador for the

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Speaker 5: federal governments Teach Consent Can't Wait campaign, and we're just

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Speaker 5: we're having this conversation all wrong, guys, We're having it

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Speaker 5: all wrong. And that accounts for why so many kids

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Speaker 5: are struggling with it so much.

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Speaker 1: And justin I was keen to know from you, like,

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Speaker 1: if the dads aren't going to have that chat to

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Speaker 1: their teenage boys, what are the dangers then of those

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Speaker 1: boys learning about sexual education through the internet.

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Speaker 5: Pornography is the number one sex educator of our young

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Speaker 5: people today in our society. And while I'm not a

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Speaker 5: consumer of it, I know that many adults works of

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Speaker 5: the show aren't. There's plenty of people who are as well,

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Speaker 5: and they will tell you right away that pornography is

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Speaker 5: not for children. The average age of exposure we think,

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Speaker 5: I mean, it varies by culture, it varies by gender,

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Speaker 5: it varies by a whole lot of other factors, but

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Speaker 5: on average we think it's about eleven, maybe twelve. So

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Speaker 5: you think about you think about the content that it

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Speaker 5: keeps being exposed to with online pornography, and they're having

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Speaker 5: that sexual.

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Speaker 3: Scripture written for them.

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Speaker 5: Like the average first kiss, average first kiss is fifteen,

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Speaker 5: So by the time they had that first kiss, they've

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Speaker 5: had three years of scripting around what it's supposed to be,

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Speaker 5: what that relationship is supposed to look like. And again,

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Speaker 5: do you know what, guys, this is my biggest message

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Speaker 5: of all. A lot of parents don't want to talk

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Speaker 5: about sex and intimacy with their kids because they're like, Oh,

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Speaker 5: the kids already think they know and it's awkward and

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Speaker 5: what am I going to say? But why saying the

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Speaker 5: wrong stuff? Because we say, oh, you've got to use

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Speaker 5: a condom and you've got to make sure that you're

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Speaker 5: being careful and all that sort of stuff. The conversation

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Speaker 5: needs to be this, sex is awesome, and I can't

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Speaker 5: wait for you to have it at the right time

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Speaker 5: with the right person, in the right place, for the

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Speaker 5: right reason. And if you can tick those boxes, it's

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Speaker 5: going to be great. But if you're not taking those

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Speaker 5: four boxes, it's not the right time, not the right place,

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Speaker 5: not the right person, not the right reason, then don't

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Speaker 5: do it.

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Speaker 3: I love that sex is awesome, don't demonize.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is to remove the fear factor, which is

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Speaker 2: so huge doctor, Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 3: That is really awesome info. I know you're very busy.

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Speaker 3: What's the book called, mate? When's it out?

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Speaker 5: The book? Well, I think it's going to be called Boys.

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Speaker 5: That's the Working Day okay, nice, early next year. Keep

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Speaker 5: an eye on it. Happy families dot com dot you

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Speaker 5: you can sign up for notifications for when it comes out.

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Speaker 3: Awesome mate. All right, mate, thanks so much for coming

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Speaker 3: on the show.

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Speaker 2: They're fascinating insights and what's an incredibly difficult issue, so

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Speaker 2: I hopefully it'll be really helpful.

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Speaker 5: Love talking to you guys.

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Speaker 3: See you mate, mate,