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Speaker 1: It's a special Will and Woody podcast Mini.

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Speaker 2: We've got a very special guest in Chantelle Often who

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Speaker 2: joins us a little award winning psycho sexologists.

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Speaker 3: What awards were they? Sorry, Chantelle, are there? They're sexologist

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Speaker 3: annual awards where you won those of Hello, by the way, Chantell.

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Speaker 1: Hello, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 4: It's not just pull a part of those awards made

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Speaker 4: of psycho sexology.

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Speaker 3: I didn't say it like that.

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Speaker 1: I was curious approved my time in this.

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Speaker 2: So if you're the only guest we've ever had is

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Speaker 2: an award winning guest, that what he's gone?

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Speaker 4: Right? Where'd you get your awards? Then have to see

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Speaker 4: them on the desk?

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Speaker 1: I was cute how you said it.

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Speaker 4: It's the question you're awarded. Let's see the awards.

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Speaker 1: So it's not like you don't win an awards like

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Speaker 1: the best Sexologist because I'm not the best sexologist. But

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Speaker 1: I was awarded the best Research in Female Sexual Medicine. Wow,

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Speaker 1: that's what I was awarded with. So I'm an award

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Speaker 1: winning scientist and sexologist. So when I started becoming a sexologist,

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Speaker 1: I started from the scientific route and I was pretty

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Speaker 1: good at it, and I went into the therapy route,

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Speaker 1: which I'm also pretty good at.

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Speaker 2: Cool.

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Speaker 3: Great question.

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Speaker 4: Well, now you've proved your worth, we can continue on

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Speaker 4: with the interview.

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Speaker 2: Well done, so, Chantell. A lot of people may or

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Speaker 2: may not know that you are in a relationship with

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Speaker 2: Dylan Orcott, who had on the show last week. And

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Speaker 2: I think that probably one of the many illusions that

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Speaker 2: people would have about you being a psycho sexologist is

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Speaker 2: that you always have amazing, perfect sex. But I did

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Speaker 2: hear that you the first time that you slept with

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Speaker 2: Dylan you had a bit of a hiccup.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for bringing this up. I really appreciate that. No, Look,

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Speaker 1: we were both pretty nervous, so I didn't know he

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Speaker 1: Dylan was when I first met him. I just I

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Speaker 1: went to his book signing actually, and I thought, wow,

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Speaker 1: he really speaks well about disability and he speaks about sexuality.

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Speaker 1: And I was like cool, like I'm really into this guy.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we kind of connected afterwards, and yeah,

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Speaker 1: things got We got along well. So he invited me

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Speaker 1: over and I just stayed the night, and we were

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Speaker 1: both really nervous, and you know when you're nervous, your

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Speaker 1: stomach just kind of starts run. Like we're like, oh, no,

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Speaker 1: and we'd had sex and it was great, and then

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Speaker 1: we're lying there and I was like, I need to

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Speaker 1: fart and I was like, you know what, I don't

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Speaker 1: think he can feel his legs anyway, Like I'm just

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Speaker 1: I was like he was fooding me, and I like

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Speaker 1: my whole body stiffened and he was like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: Like I think he was like, oh okay, I thought

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Speaker 1: it the.

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Speaker 3: He can't feel his legs but he can hear.

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Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 1: It was silent. It wasn't even deadly. It was just silent.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, out of all the news articles

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Speaker 1: about both of us, that one made international news. It

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Speaker 1: was in the UK. My friends, like my family in

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Speaker 1: Holland were sending it to each other on WhatsApp threads

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Speaker 1: in America and it was the head lines were like

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Speaker 1: chantel Autumn's disgusting sex confession. So whenever someone looks up

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Speaker 1: my practice now my clinic, that's like one of the

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Speaker 1: first news.

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Speaker 4: She's willing to fight I'm a disabled person.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Wow, Wow. We're still together almost three years later, So

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Speaker 1: maybe that's the trick, Like, yeah, you just have to

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Speaker 1: lock them in with an embarrassing story and like you

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Speaker 1: just like never leave each other.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that is awesome when we're off to a crack

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Speaker 4: here with Chantellott, and I should mention she's got a

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Speaker 4: brand new book, The sex Ed You Never Had a

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Speaker 4: head al on to Chantellotton if you Chantalatton dot com

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Speaker 4: for more information on her book or her classes. But

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Speaker 4: she's gonna stick around.

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Speaker 2: We've got award winning psycho sex ologists chantell Otten in

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Speaker 2: the studio. She's got a brand new book, The sex

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Speaker 2: Ed You Never Had Now, chantel I wanted to ask

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Speaker 2: you because one of the things that we've continually comes

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Speaker 2: up on this show is that the number one reason

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Speaker 2: for people to cheat is because they don't feel comfortable

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Speaker 2: divulging their fear, their their fantasies to their partner, their

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Speaker 2: sexual fantasies, being like candid about what they want in

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Speaker 2: the bedroom.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm just gonna start off by saying that I

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Speaker 1: don't think that's the number one reason. No, I think

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Speaker 1: there's heaps of I think there's heaps of reasons. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I think that you know, talking about what you

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Speaker 1: want in the bedroom and what you desire, and I

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Speaker 1: guess what you fantasize about is difficult for a lot

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Speaker 1: of people. It's difficult for even professionals like myself, because

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Speaker 1: we're never taught to be able to have healthy, open

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Speaker 1: and honors communication around sexuality, and we're also taught that

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Speaker 1: sex is taboo. We also watch media like movies, TV

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Speaker 1: shows where you see a certain type of sex and

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Speaker 1: it's really fast paced and going at it.

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Speaker 4: And they're beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah's gorgeous.

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Speaker 1: They're gorgeous. You know, they have this like kind of

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Speaker 1: image attached them. There's no consent, they're not really putting

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Speaker 1: on condoms, and there's no checking in one on each other.

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Speaker 4: Part of each other's lips.

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Speaker 3: If it's joined us Chantel did fart on Dylan Orcott

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Speaker 3: on their first experience, we'd go on, Chantel, what were you?

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Speaker 1: Well, you know what? Like I just think that with

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Speaker 1: this sex education that we had, like, yeah, are we

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Speaker 1: taught that like fantasies and desires are healthy? Not really,

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Speaker 1: Like we're not really taught to speak our mind on

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Speaker 1: this is your or even how to bring it up,

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Speaker 1: And I think that people get quite stressed about it.

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Speaker 3: Hey, Chantel just on this topic as well, like you know,

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Speaker 3: maybe being ashamed or embarrassed to bring up something that

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Speaker 3: you really want, I know, that last week it was

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Speaker 3: National Sex Toy Day and again, awesome from you being

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Speaker 3: so open and vulnerable about, you know, showing you know

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Speaker 3: the sex toy that you like. And I think that's

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Speaker 3: why you are so good at what you do, because

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Speaker 3: you're so open honest about your own sex life. But

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Speaker 3: I've got a specific question just on you know, toys

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Speaker 3: that you can use in the bedroom. How do you

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Speaker 3: avoid offending a partner when you say ask to involve

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Speaker 3: a toy, you know, because they might feel a bit

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Speaker 3: insecure that are you need a toy to satisfy you

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Speaker 3: aren't I enough? What's the best way to manage that situation?

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Speaker 1: Well, I think we were taught that if we have

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Speaker 1: to introduce toys and the other person isn't enough, But

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Speaker 1: that's just not true, because a sex toy is not gonna,

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Speaker 1: you know, spoon you at night and kiss you and

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Speaker 1: tell you that it loves you like it's just there too.

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Speaker 1: Not yet. Fine. Well you know what though, But even

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Speaker 1: in saying that, it doesn't matter about that. Sex toys

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Speaker 1: are not there to replace anyone. They are an extension

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Speaker 1: of our sexuality. They are just there to add a

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Speaker 1: little bit more excitement, a little bit of variety, you know.

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Speaker 1: And I really think that if you're feeling threatened by

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Speaker 1: a sex toy, you have to take a moment and

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Speaker 1: ask why am I threatened by this thing that's going

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Speaker 1: to bring more pleasure, more fun, more variety into the bedroom.

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Speaker 1: You can't always have the same type of sex. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's like a venue. It would be like going

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Speaker 1: to the same restaurant every single time you go on

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Speaker 1: a date night and ye the same degustation menu and

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Speaker 1: expecting to want to go get it again the next

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Speaker 1: enjoy again and again. You've got to add different spices,

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Speaker 1: different cuisines, you know, entrees, mains, desserts, And it's just

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Speaker 1: that's why we bring sex toys in to add that spice.

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Speaker 1: I would say, like, if you're inviting someone into your

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Speaker 1: space and you use sex toys, just be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: can you open the top draw there and grab the

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Speaker 1: pink one? Like literally, like, don't even make it an issue.

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Speaker 1: Why would we even bring it up in such an

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Speaker 1: awkward way, like, hey, would you mind if I just

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Speaker 1: bringing my rabbit vibrator? No, I want to bring in

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Speaker 1: the rabbit vibrator, like let's give it a go together.

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Speaker 1: Or if you want to bring it in and you

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Speaker 1: don't have any toys, why don't you go shopping together

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Speaker 1: for toys and say we can get some new lubricants.

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Speaker 1: Why don't we try you know this type of vibe.

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Speaker 1: You can get penis vibrators as well. It's not just

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Speaker 1: for VOPA owners, and just say, why don't we try

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Speaker 1: a few different things and you.

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Speaker 3: Know Volvo owners Volva. Sorry, I thought you somehow we're

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Speaker 3: talking about cars there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think it's.

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Speaker 4: Now comes to the vibe.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it would be a really great marketing.

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Speaker 3: Stuck in traffic.

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Speaker 1: I've had a few people say the same thing to me.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's the way that I speak, though, it's.

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Speaker 4: I think everyone got that except what he made.

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Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just laughing at the fact that you

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Speaker 2: thought you managed to weave a Swedish.

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Speaker 4: Car into this.

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Speaker 2: Chantel. Thank you so much for joining us. Is it

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Speaker 2: honestly has been a pleasure to talk to you. You

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Speaker 2: are a breath of fresh air in this space, mate,

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Speaker 2: and I know a lot of people are incredibly inspired

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Speaker 2: by the way that you talk about this sort of stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's candidate's honest, as you said, it's positive and I

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Speaker 2: think it's really important as well, particularly maybe for older

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Speaker 2: gen rations, but certainly for anyone. Really, you should be

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Speaker 2: able to talk about this sort of stuff. If you

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Speaker 2: want to learn more about Chantell Headl on chantelottum dot com.

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Speaker 2: She does all sorts of classes, courses. She's got a

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Speaker 2: brand new book, The sex Ed You Never Had, which

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Speaker 2: is all about this stuff so you guys can have

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Speaker 2: a positive sex life. Chantel, thank you so much for

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Speaker 2: joining us. It's been a pleasure to have you on

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Speaker 2: the show mate.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for having me hear more of the boys on

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Speaker 1: the full show podcast.

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Speaker 4: You know you want to