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Speaker 1: Podcast unite our voices.

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Speaker 2: Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Woman podcast acknowledges the

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Speaker 2: traditional owners of the land which we recorded this episode.

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Speaker 2: We also acknowledge the traditional owners of the land from

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Speaker 2: where you, the listener or viewer are tuning in. We

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Speaker 2: would like to pay our respects to elders both past

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Speaker 2: and present. We acknowledge that this land always was and

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Speaker 2: always will be Aboriginal land. This podcast talks about mental health, suicide,

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Speaker 2: and lived experience. If that brings anything up for you,

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Speaker 2: please take care while listening and remember you don't need

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Speaker 2: to worry alone. Welcome to Mental Fitness Conversations, a podcast

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Speaker 2: about how real people build their mental fitness through connection, community,

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Speaker 2: and simple everyday actions. Brought to you by Gotcha for

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Speaker 2: Life in partnership with Black Magic Woman. Here's your host,

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Speaker 2: Monda and Narrabels.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to this amazing episode which is part of the

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Speaker 3: Gotcha for Life and Black Magic Women Mental Fitness Conversations.

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Speaker 3: It's a partnership with an amazing foundation that's doing some

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Speaker 3: incredible work out in the community, especially when it comes

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Speaker 3: to primary school children about building mental fitness. Now, what

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Speaker 3: does that mean? We're going to have this deadly Yarn

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Speaker 3: with my guests on the show today. He probably already

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Speaker 3: recognized and if you don't, then Felicia Fox aka Wendell French,

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Speaker 3: we would love for you to introduce yourself to our audience.

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Speaker 1: Who are you, where do you come from? Who's your mob?

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Speaker 4: Yama.

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Speaker 5: My name is Wendell French aka Felicia Fox, the aboriginally enchantress.

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Speaker 5: I spoke a realistic of Sydney. I am originally from Campbelltown,

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Speaker 5: born and bred, but my mob ar Kimilori and dung

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Speaker 5: Guddy and now I grew up adding Campbelltown. I started

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Speaker 5: my drag career at the age of fifteen, and I

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Speaker 5: started my career to inspire other young, indenous youth who

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Speaker 5: wanted to participate in the art of drag. And you know,

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Speaker 5: being a drag queen, I have the duality of having

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Speaker 5: my math self and my feminine self, so you know,

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Speaker 5: just getting out their truth telling and being myself. But yeah,

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Speaker 5: watch this space because Folici of Fox got some big,

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Speaker 5: deadly things on the horizon.

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Speaker 3: Well watch your space just to have you part of

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Speaker 3: this important conversation, especially with like you said, at fifteen,

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Speaker 3: you went into drag, you knew that this is what

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Speaker 3: you wanted to do, that you knew who you wanted

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Speaker 3: to be. Yeah, and at what cost for you to

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Speaker 3: be your true authentic self? Did you lose family? Did

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Speaker 3: you lose respect from your community?

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Speaker 1: Did your family? Did your mum and dad embrace you?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 5: What?

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Speaker 3: Did it come at a cost in that way in

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Speaker 3: terms of relationships and respect?

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Speaker 4: I think definitely. Because I dropped out of school very early.

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Speaker 5: I lost a lot of friends once I did come

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Speaker 5: out in school, once I said that, you know, I

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Speaker 5: am a gay man. I lost a lot of my

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Speaker 5: guy friends that thought maybe I wanted to be with them,

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Speaker 5: but it was like, no, I'm a gay man, and

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Speaker 5: just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm attracted to every

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Speaker 5: other day that comes into my vicinity. But you know,

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Speaker 5: in terms of my drag, I lost a lot of

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Speaker 5: I guess family that were never really supportive and that

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Speaker 5: have always been homophobic and still just ignorant but very

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Speaker 5: uneducated around why I participate in the art of drag

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Speaker 5: and utilize my platform in drag to you know, smash

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Speaker 5: these stigmas and break down these barriers that our mob

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Speaker 5: have been trying to overcome for many, many years.

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Speaker 3: And this conversation is so important to not just First Nations,

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Speaker 3: our mob, but to all peoples from all walks of

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Speaker 3: life that haven't yet been able to really just live

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Speaker 3: their life on their terms. And that's what I love

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Speaker 3: about you when I see you out there representing your people,

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Speaker 3: your community, our culture. You just deal it with so

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Speaker 3: much pride, so much passion. Our families and our community

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Speaker 3: mean a lot to us. And some of the stigma

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Speaker 3: and prejudices that you've expec experienced, I'm sure that has

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Speaker 3: taken a ton on your mental health, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, one hundred thousand percent, and you know after you know,

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Speaker 5: we're talking about it before the what I wore this

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Speaker 5: year for Mary with the Sydney Martygraph Parade, and the

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Speaker 5: theme was free to be so to me and the

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Speaker 5: way I interpreted it, I am a proud gay Aboriginal

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Speaker 5: man who participates in the art of drag, but this

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Speaker 5: year for my outfit, I wanted to strip back all

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Speaker 5: the layers of makeup that I would normally put on,

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Speaker 5: the wigs and everything, and the only thing that I

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Speaker 5: had on my body that I dorned myself that was

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Speaker 5: real gay were my thigh high pleaser with my stripper Hills,

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Speaker 5: and you know, I went and did my cultural protocols.

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Speaker 5: I went and made sure I spoke to my uncle

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Speaker 5: Raymond Weatherall. He's a proud Gid Mallory man, and you know,

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Speaker 5: I asked him how I should have painted myself. And

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Speaker 5: the ochre was actually it came from the Barwin River

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Speaker 5: and the nahw and so it was it was so

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Speaker 5: much more detrimental to me, and it meant so much

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Speaker 5: more knowing that it came from my actual hometown up

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Speaker 5: in Wolgot. And you know a lot of the mob

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Speaker 5: that were going against me and didn't like what I

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Speaker 5: was wearing, and they were saying that I was sexualizing

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Speaker 5: our culture. And there are a lot of other negative

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Speaker 5: things that were out there in the media, and you know,

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Speaker 5: at the end of the day, I think it took

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Speaker 5: away from what message I really wanted to portray. Because

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Speaker 5: you can be a proud gay Aboriginal man, and you

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Speaker 5: can whether you're a drag queen, whether you're a singer,

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Speaker 5: whatever else, whatever art you're in, whatever industry you're in,

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Speaker 5: you can, you know, you can merge the two and

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Speaker 5: it makes your message so much more powerful. And you know,

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Speaker 5: when I walked that parade. I thought it was the

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Speaker 5: most proudest moment when I wore the Aboriginal sequin flag dress.

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Speaker 5: But I'm tearing up now, but that was the probably

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Speaker 5: one of the best ever, mighty great outfits I have

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Speaker 5: ever ever worn. And I just hope that you know

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Speaker 5: a younger little black fellow or any other little quick

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Speaker 5: person out there, whether they're black, purple, don't matter what race.

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Speaker 5: I hope they just saw someone who was in their

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Speaker 5: art form, but also you know, having their culture there

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Speaker 5: as well.

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Speaker 3: They're strong in culture. Yeah, yeah, and there's no shame

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Speaker 3: in being in being both. However you want to express

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Speaker 3: yourself to not be shame about it or not see

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Speaker 3: it as I don't want to upset my family or

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Speaker 3: my community. And like you said, you spoke to your

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Speaker 3: elders and the significance of that okah from your own river,

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Speaker 3: from your community that wasn't spoken about, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, those other elements that was part of your

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Speaker 3: outfit with your lap blap and you went out there

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Speaker 3: and for you had the best time of your life

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Speaker 3: according to the theme as well, like it was aligned

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Speaker 3: to the theme and you weren't exactly I don't know

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Speaker 3: you didn't really get the community's approval to be who

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Speaker 3: you are. And that's really interesting, isn't it. We are

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Speaker 3: navigating life, we are navigating the Western world and the

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Speaker 3: Aberiginal world, and we're told to be our true, authentic

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Speaker 3: selves or to bring our full selves to work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but then if you.

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Speaker 3: Want to do something that you know that that's not

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Speaker 3: the social norm, then you're quickly kind of canceled. How

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Speaker 3: did you or who did you speak to? Like, how

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Speaker 3: did you navigate those moments when you're on your own

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Speaker 3: reading some of those negative comments.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'm very grateful to have a drag family.

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Speaker 5: I've got five sisters in the house and a drag mum.

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Speaker 5: But you know that's one of my main support circles

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Speaker 5: that I go to lean back on. You know, being

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Speaker 5: in the media as a drag queen, I'm constantly spoken about,

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Speaker 5: and especially after Mardi Gras, I would look up my

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Speaker 5: phone and my phone was just blowing up. I was

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Speaker 5: in all these different articles and it was all negative.

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Speaker 5: There was not one positive article that I've seen. But

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Speaker 5: you know, being in the drag industry for all eleven

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Speaker 5: years this year, that's crazy to saying only turned twenty five.

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Speaker 1: To day, Oh, happy birthday, Thank you.

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Speaker 5: One of the biggest things I've learned to navigate through

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Speaker 5: social media being a drag queen is by not looking

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Speaker 5: for the negative comments and not diving into all the

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Speaker 5: negativity that's spoken about. And before I used through the

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Speaker 5: person that would fight the negative negative comments back at him,

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Speaker 5: and then I'd be drained. And then you know, when

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Speaker 5: I had my next gig or had to go do

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Speaker 5: an appearance out in the community, I just I felt

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Speaker 5: drained and I felt defeated. When now I'm investing all

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Speaker 5: my energy and everything back into you know, keeping everything

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Speaker 5: positive and using my platform for the right reasons and

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Speaker 5: not you know, fighting hate with hate, because at the

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Speaker 5: end of the day, you can't have no resolution or

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Speaker 5: any positive outcome by fighting hate with hate.

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Speaker 3: I agree with you, and I tend to, you know,

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Speaker 3: I try not to look at the comments when it

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Speaker 3: comes to any black fillo in the media. And I'll

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Speaker 3: use an example little Quaid and Malona few quite about

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Speaker 3: still today, if you see a positive post about him

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Speaker 3: appearing on a red carpet because he's in a film

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Speaker 3: or whatever, you look at the comments and it is

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Speaker 3: ninety five percent negative and it's bullying and it's mainly

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Speaker 3: adults bullying.

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Speaker 1: A fifteen year old kid.

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Speaker 3: So how do you then kind of, I don't know,

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Speaker 3: not protect yourself, but how do you kind of support yourself? Like,

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Speaker 3: do do you ring people? Do you talk to people?

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Speaker 3: Have you found yourself engaging with? I know one three

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Speaker 3: yarn has been a you know, some of the guests

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Speaker 3: on this show have had no shame in saying I've

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Speaker 3: rang that number so many times to talk to a

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Speaker 3: black fellow, because only black fellows could really relate to

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Speaker 3: what we're going through. Who's the people you reach out

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Speaker 3: to other than that your drag queen, the drag family.

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Speaker 5: I know, I go to a counselor. I've been seeing

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Speaker 5: a counselor for the last four months. And you know,

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Speaker 5: before I started seeing this counselor, shopping around like mad,

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Speaker 5: couldn't find a good one that I actually connected with,

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Speaker 5: and one that actually sat there and you know, not

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Speaker 5: just sat there as a pair of ears. He's actually

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Speaker 5: been guiding me. He's a white gay fella and I'm

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Speaker 5: a quick black fellow. So I've found a really good counselor.

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Speaker 5: But just the conversations that I do have are very

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Speaker 5: instrumental to my life. But I'm going through like right now,

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Speaker 5: and I don't think if I was seeing this counselor.

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Speaker 5: I think, you know, I was going through a break

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Speaker 5: up a couple of weeks ago, and I was in

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Speaker 5: a very dark, depressed place. You know, I lost fifteen

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Speaker 5: kilos and you know, literally I probably called my counselor

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Speaker 5: about two three times a day the other week and

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Speaker 5: just sitting in my room depressed, and you know, and

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Speaker 5: I found power and strength in speaking to that counselor

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Speaker 5: in you know, admitting to myself that I was going

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Speaker 5: back into a depression just by looking at the state

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Speaker 5: of my room and you know, my mental state. So

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Speaker 5: you know, it was very vital that you do have

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Speaker 5: a counselor or someone that you feel very safe and

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Speaker 5: comfortable with to talk to about all your problems and issues.

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Speaker 3: And I think that's a really important message for anyone

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Speaker 3: listening to this conversation about speaking to someone or if

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Speaker 3: you're noticing, you know, some of your own kind of

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Speaker 3: habits of slipping back into depression or feeling low on energy,

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Speaker 3: feeling like you can't you know, get out and face

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Speaker 3: the world. But you start to it's it's sometimes you

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Speaker 3: don't notice that you're slipping back into depression. Other people

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Speaker 3: might say, hey, what's going on something, might recognize that.

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Speaker 3: But it's also really good that you've gotten to a

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Speaker 3: point where you know when you're not feeling okay.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, one hundred percent.

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Speaker 5: Like the first indicator for me of marsline going back

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Speaker 5: into depression was my room. Like I'd wake up every morning,

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Speaker 5: clean my make my bed, My room was always spicking speed.

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Speaker 1: It's routine, right yeah.

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Speaker 5: And then once I scene like myself dropping out of

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Speaker 5: that routine and wasn't doing all the things that I

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Speaker 5: would normally do going for my runs of a morning

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Speaker 5: time would wake up at four point thirty go for

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Speaker 5: my sixteen kilometer run. But you know, I've stopped doing that,

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Speaker 5: and I've only just started to do that again. It

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Speaker 5: was just like I neglected myself whilst I was coming

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Speaker 5: that relationship in depression. But now the only person that

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Speaker 5: matters is me, So you know, I'm rewarding myself by

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Speaker 5: going to see your counselor. And that's probably one of

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Speaker 5: the most rewarding things that I've done since the breakup,

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Speaker 5: and just speaking and putting all my issues out there

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Speaker 5: on the table.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I love it, and then finding other opportunities to fill

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Speaker 3: your cup. What are you doing with your life at

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Speaker 3: the moment, Tell me about what keeps you busy.

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Speaker 4: I've just launched a new company.

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Speaker 5: It's called Rainbow Emu Entertainment and I have a lineup

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Speaker 5: roster of eight other drag queens that I manage now.

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Speaker 5: And you know, our mission statement is to go around

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Speaker 5: to all these venues in Sydney, especially Oxford Street, and

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Speaker 5: have these places become predominantly black spaces, especially when it

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Speaker 5: comes to their entertainment. You can go down Oxford Street

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Speaker 5: now and there's not one Aboriginal drag queen that has

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Speaker 5: a home venue down there. So our goal is to

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Speaker 5: make sure that we are supportive of the younger drag

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Speaker 5: queens that are up and coming. We've just got a

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Speaker 5: deadly partnership with crial On at the makeup shop. But

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Speaker 5: you know, when I first started Dragon, I'd never had

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Speaker 5: no support. I never had you know, the financial stability,

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Speaker 5: I never had good people around me, and I was,

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Speaker 5: you know, sub abusing substances back then. So now all

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Speaker 5: I can do with the platform that I've created for

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Speaker 5: myself is looking out for these other younger people who

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Speaker 5: want to come up and do what I'm doing. And

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Speaker 5: all I can do is, you know, put my hands

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Speaker 5: out there and say I'm here and to supporting a

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Speaker 5: systudent anyway that you need.

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Speaker 3: Do you find people reaching out dm exciting into your

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Speaker 3: dms in a positive way?

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Speaker 4: Yes, in a very positive way.

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Speaker 1: And like younger people reaching out to you.

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Speaker 4: A lot of younger people.

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Speaker 5: And you know, I just got booked for a youth

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Speaker 5: show in Calgooley, look never Calhooley before, So I'm excited

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Speaker 5: for that.

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Speaker 4: And yeah, going to do a big youth show down there.

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Speaker 3: Because there are a lot of brother boys and sister

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Speaker 3: girls in our community.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and when.

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Speaker 3: We even look at some of the suicide rates amongst

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Speaker 3: our mob, which we know, you know, the worst in

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Speaker 3: the world, especially when it comes to young Aboriginal people,

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Speaker 3: but even in the you know, the LGBTQ plus community,

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Speaker 3: those rates are higher. Again, so being black, being queer,

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Speaker 3: and even being a young person, there's all these odds

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Speaker 3: stacked up against you and us as a people. How

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Speaker 3: do we shift people's mentalities, How do we really kind

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Speaker 3: of change people's perceptions to them be more accepting of

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Speaker 3: all of us, no matter who we are and how

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Speaker 3: we identify. What do you think when what's some of

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Speaker 3: the I don't know some of your words of wisdom

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Speaker 3: that people that are listening to this podcast could learn

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Speaker 3: from from your experience.

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Speaker 5: I think it comes down to each individual at the

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Speaker 5: end of the day. Once you do that groundwork with

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Speaker 5: yourself and you're grounded in your own identity, then you know,

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Speaker 5: I used to be a very judgmental person, you know.

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Speaker 5: I would see someone walking down the street and the

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Speaker 5: look like a real book and I'm like, they look there.

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Speaker 5: But you know, I've stopped that over the years because

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Speaker 5: I realized, you don't what anybody else is going through

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Speaker 5: in their life to judge them or you know, if

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Speaker 5: someone has a different appearance, or if they're trends or

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Speaker 5: whatever else, who cares. And at the end of the day,

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Speaker 5: if you're grounded in yourself and your identity and you

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Speaker 5: know who you are, that leaves no time and space

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Speaker 5: in your head to go and judge a person for

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Speaker 5: them being, you know, sterning their identity or who they are.

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Speaker 5: So to each individual out there, yeah, do your own

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Speaker 5: groundwork on yourself and make sure that you love yourself

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Speaker 5: and the world will be a better place because then

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Speaker 5: we have no time for judgment, judgment and hate and negativity.

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Speaker 3: And talking about being grounded in your in your in

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Speaker 3: your identity, how has your culture supported you and your

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Speaker 3: journey of just being who you are?

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Speaker 5: I think my culture has definitely grounded me a lot

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Speaker 5: more than anything else in my world. And having my culture,

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Speaker 5: knowing where I come from and knowing my mob and

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Speaker 5: my my song lines and my storylines, it's the most

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Speaker 5: grounding thing ever and it makes me the strong, empowered

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Speaker 5: gay Aboriginal men that I am. And there's no way

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Speaker 5: that Felicia Fox would even exist if Wendell French didn't

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Speaker 5: have my culture, and you know, having that duality of

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Speaker 5: my culture and my queenness and my sexual identity, my

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Speaker 5: sexual identity wouldn't be as strength and if it wasn't

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Speaker 5: for my culture. And I am the empowered being that

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Speaker 5: I am today because of my culture.

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Speaker 3: And this is what we need to do. We need

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Speaker 3: to try and empower other mob who haven't yet found

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Speaker 3: you know, the strength or the courage to be able

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Speaker 3: to speak up openly without judgment. You know, That's that's

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Speaker 3: what I find a lot in our community that a

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Speaker 3: lot of the younger people coming through are still trying

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Speaker 3: to find, you know, who they can gravitate to, who's

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Speaker 3: their community, who can they trust, who can they rely on?

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Speaker 3: And you know, we need to be a little bit

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Speaker 3: more open minded. And I think just as a society

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Speaker 3: that we're not as accepting an open minded when it

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Speaker 3: comes to people who are not like us. And what

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Speaker 3: is the perfect your normal person meant.

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Speaker 1: To look like? Right?

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Speaker 4: No such thing as a normal there.

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Speaker 3: Is no you know, we are all our unique selves

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Speaker 3: and we should all you know, it's like a human

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Speaker 3: right when you think about it, you know, to be

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Speaker 3: who you are and to reach your full potential in

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Speaker 3: this life. Yeah, what would you say to a lot

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Speaker 3: of the younger mob that are listening that want to

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Speaker 3: be just like you?

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Speaker 1: What would you say to them?

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Speaker 5: You know what, You're going to have a lot of

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Speaker 5: mixed thoughts and mixed things coming through your head, and

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Speaker 5: you're going to question whether you're this and that, you

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Speaker 5: know what, Embrace whatever you're feeling in the moment and.

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Speaker 4: Be who you are.

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Speaker 5: Wear that piece of piece of clothing where that you know,

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Speaker 5: access thory, wear that big fur coat down the street,

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Speaker 5: just to go get some bread and milk, do whatever,

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Speaker 5: you know. And it's literally that saying you only live once.

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Speaker 5: It would be so shit to die tomorrow and to

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Speaker 5: be like I could have done this, I could have

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Speaker 5: done that, and I could have just been myself in life.

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Speaker 5: So and it shows, you know, when you see someone

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Speaker 5: walking down the street and they're feeling that confidence and

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Speaker 5: they've got that, you can tell they are confident. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: you know, just embrace every bit of yourself and never

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Speaker 5: be scared or fearful of change, and just embrace the

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Speaker 5: change that comes.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 5: I never woke up one day and just became Felicia Fox.

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Speaker 5: You know, it took me a long time. And I'm

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Speaker 5: still finding the duality between my feminity and my masculinity,

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Speaker 5: and I embrace both every single day, like Tonada.

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Speaker 4: Being a crop top. But I look like a big bloke.

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Speaker 1: Here now and there's nothing wrong with that.

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Speaker 4: Nothing wrong at all.

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Speaker 5: I'm going to get my pedicure tomorrow and menicula and

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Speaker 5: just you know, embrace it. And there's no way, there's

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Speaker 5: no right or wrong way to live life as long

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Speaker 5: as you're a true, genuine person and you're living true

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Speaker 5: and authentically to yourself. Then that's all that matters at

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Speaker 5: the end of the day, and you will watch all

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Speaker 5: the positivity of all the positive people come around you

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Speaker 5: and culminate to you because it vibrates off you. When

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Speaker 5: you're confident and you're positive and you're just doing.

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Speaker 1: You, people just are drawn to that energy round two percent.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's magnetic.

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Speaker 3: I was just going to say in terms of like

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Speaker 3: gotcha for life. Our mission is around you know, imagining

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Speaker 3: our world without sil science. We talk about building our

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Speaker 3: village so that nobody ever has to worry alone.

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Speaker 1: What does mental fitness mean to you?

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Speaker 5: Mental fitness to me means suppose they get mentally working

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Speaker 5: your brain out, so you know, when you are in

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Speaker 5: those times of distress, when you are in a depression

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Speaker 5: or whatever you're going through and you feel alone, the

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Speaker 5: things that you do for your mind to keep away

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Speaker 5: from those things. Like I started journaling and didn't think

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Speaker 5: I'd ever start to journal. That's, you know, mental fitness

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Speaker 5: to me when I start to journal and I literally

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Speaker 5: document throughout the day what I have to do, and

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Speaker 5: that just makes my day so much better. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Clease your mind, you're focused, it outcomes driven. You got structure,

400
00:20:08,031 --> 00:20:10,791
Speaker 3: you've got your routine. I've been told a lot that

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00:20:10,871 --> 00:20:14,551
Speaker 3: it's cathartic to write what you're thinking right what you're feeling.

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Speaker 3: I've got a really good friend of mine and I

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Speaker 3: love her, Maria Wamba.

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Speaker 1: I call it my womber sister.

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Speaker 3: Because she's got this amazing energy that I don't always

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Speaker 3: have and just seems to be so uplifting and positive

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Speaker 3: and happy and just this amazing person to be around.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Right, So it's like.

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Speaker 3: That the people you have around you should bring out

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Speaker 3: the best in you as well. So who is it

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Speaker 3: around you that you feel brings the best out in you?

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Speaker 4: I'd definitely say my drag family.

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Speaker 5: You know, no matter what I'm going through in my life,

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Speaker 5: and my drag family is around, they uplift me and

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Speaker 5: they support me, and they empower me to feel back

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Speaker 5: on top of the world again and they never ever

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Speaker 5: make me feel shit.

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Speaker 3: Is that important, Hay to find your people in the world,

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Speaker 3: to find the place where you feel that you belong

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Speaker 3: instead of feeling like you don't belong, you don't fit in.

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Speaker 3: And I'm sure you've felt that many times.

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Speaker 5: And you know, when I'm in drag, I think that's

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Speaker 5: another one of my big empowering things when I'm out

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Speaker 5: in community doing community work. And you know, I love

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Speaker 5: when I go to gigs and it's community gigs and

427
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Speaker 5: all the mob were coming up to me, axing for

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Speaker 5: photos and it's like, this is how I know I've made.

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Speaker 4: You know, a good platform. I've got mob coming up.

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Speaker 5: To me left, right and center, acting for photos and

431
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Speaker 5: wanted to have conversations.

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Speaker 4: And that's what I love about my job.

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Speaker 5: You know, I'd rather be booked at a community event

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Speaker 5: than that some little gaming club on Oxford Street.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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00:21:37,911 --> 00:21:41,791
Speaker 3: Community, We do everything for our community. It drives us.

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Speaker 3: What's been one of your highlights? If you think about

438
00:21:44,231 --> 00:21:46,431
Speaker 3: your career so fun, You're only got twenty five.

439
00:21:46,271 --> 00:21:49,031
Speaker 5: Twenty five, yeah, so young.

440
00:21:49,231 --> 00:21:50,551
Speaker 1: Still go a long way to go.

441
00:21:50,551 --> 00:21:51,431
Speaker 4: A long long way.

442
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,031
Speaker 3: But talk is what's some of your highlights? What do

443
00:21:54,111 --> 00:21:56,751
Speaker 3: you what are you most proud of some of your achievements.

444
00:21:57,511 --> 00:21:59,071
Speaker 5: I think one of the biggest things I've ever done

445
00:21:59,111 --> 00:22:01,071
Speaker 5: in my career was walk out a stream and Fashion

446
00:22:01,151 --> 00:22:03,511
Speaker 5: Week as my drag persona, and that was the first

447
00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:04,631
Speaker 5: that was ever done.

448
00:22:05,111 --> 00:22:07,591
Speaker 1: And talk about breaking down barriers.

449
00:22:07,671 --> 00:22:09,711
Speaker 5: Yeah, And the next morning woke up and I was

450
00:22:09,711 --> 00:22:10,591
Speaker 5: published in Vogue.

451
00:22:10,631 --> 00:22:11,671
Speaker 4: It was like, get out of here.

452
00:22:11,751 --> 00:22:13,711
Speaker 1: Start what he've been in Vogue?

453
00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:19,871
Speaker 5: Vogue, Harpers clear a few Oh my gosh.

454
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,751
Speaker 3: All right, so you're making you're making covers and you're

455
00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:23,031
Speaker 3: in magazine.

456
00:22:22,751 --> 00:22:25,071
Speaker 4: Adahle Centerfold and Harpers. How crazy is that?

457
00:22:25,151 --> 00:22:28,551
Speaker 3: Oh mge what was an experience like for a lot

458
00:22:28,591 --> 00:22:29,191
Speaker 3: of us?

459
00:22:29,271 --> 00:22:32,111
Speaker 5: Just I have all the articles and clippings on my

460
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,831
Speaker 5: war at home because that will forever be a proud

461
00:22:33,871 --> 00:22:36,751
Speaker 5: moment because I've never in my life seen any representation

462
00:22:36,911 --> 00:22:39,431
Speaker 5: of someone like me in the media growing up, a

463
00:22:39,471 --> 00:22:41,991
Speaker 5: gay Aboriginal man that was participating in the art of drag.

464
00:22:42,031 --> 00:22:43,951
Speaker 5: I never got to you know, I was on that

465
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:45,831
Speaker 5: campaign We are warriors and to see it, you have

466
00:22:45,871 --> 00:22:46,671
Speaker 5: to see it to be it.

467
00:22:47,271 --> 00:22:49,191
Speaker 4: And that's probably the.

468
00:22:49,151 --> 00:22:52,151
Speaker 5: Proudest moments that I've ever done, because I hope that

469
00:22:52,191 --> 00:22:55,671
Speaker 5: there are heaps of other little, younger queer follows out

470
00:22:55,711 --> 00:22:58,271
Speaker 5: there that need to see that to be like, oh

471
00:22:58,311 --> 00:23:00,191
Speaker 5: that's literally who what that's me?

472
00:23:00,591 --> 00:23:01,751
Speaker 4: I can do that. I can be that.

473
00:23:02,071 --> 00:23:04,591
Speaker 5: And you know, the narrative alway written that we would

474
00:23:04,591 --> 00:23:06,791
Speaker 5: never accepted in these places, or we couldn't progress to

475
00:23:06,831 --> 00:23:09,751
Speaker 5: these places. We're only ever supposed to be in nightclubs

476
00:23:09,791 --> 00:23:12,671
Speaker 5: and pubs and whatever else doing drag, but you know,

477
00:23:12,711 --> 00:23:15,191
Speaker 5: it was like, I've pushed for my drag to be

478
00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:18,591
Speaker 5: at Australian Fashion Week runway and.

479
00:23:18,551 --> 00:23:20,631
Speaker 1: I was there with you. I've got to see you,

480
00:23:20,911 --> 00:23:21,631
Speaker 1: hang out with you.

481
00:23:22,351 --> 00:23:26,511
Speaker 3: There's obviously there's positives of that attention, but there's also

482
00:23:26,511 --> 00:23:28,151
Speaker 3: a lot of the negatives. And you did speak about

483
00:23:28,191 --> 00:23:31,791
Speaker 3: it earlier with Marti Grass in particular that the app

484
00:23:31,831 --> 00:23:35,431
Speaker 3: that you chose to kind of align with the theme,

485
00:23:35,871 --> 00:23:39,631
Speaker 3: a lot of the community didn't approve of that. At Gotcha,

486
00:23:39,671 --> 00:23:43,431
Speaker 3: We've got this amazing app that's very new and it's

487
00:23:43,471 --> 00:23:45,231
Speaker 3: a mental fitness gym.

488
00:23:45,431 --> 00:23:46,351
Speaker 1: So I downloaded the.

489
00:23:46,351 --> 00:23:50,191
Speaker 3: App right and I put in my age and my

490
00:23:50,711 --> 00:23:54,511
Speaker 3: female and how I'm feeling. So it kind of builds

491
00:23:54,511 --> 00:23:55,711
Speaker 3: a bit of a profile for you.

492
00:23:56,431 --> 00:23:58,031
Speaker 1: And every day I get a.

493
00:23:57,991 --> 00:24:02,631
Speaker 3: Notification and you can send messages to people anonymous. He

494
00:24:02,671 --> 00:24:07,951
Speaker 3: could just say be your best self today, or whatever inspirational,

495
00:24:08,111 --> 00:24:11,991
Speaker 3: motivational message that you want someone to hear. I think

496
00:24:12,031 --> 00:24:14,471
Speaker 3: it's amazing that I get to check into this app,

497
00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:16,671
Speaker 3: don't know who that person is sending me a message,

498
00:24:16,711 --> 00:24:18,151
Speaker 3: and now I'm sending a message and I don't know

499
00:24:18,151 --> 00:24:20,631
Speaker 3: who's going to get that, but I hope it reaches

500
00:24:20,671 --> 00:24:24,431
Speaker 3: that person in that right moment that they can just

501
00:24:24,471 --> 00:24:26,951
Speaker 3: pick up a phone now and connect.

502
00:24:27,431 --> 00:24:28,831
Speaker 1: We've also got one three yarm.

503
00:24:29,951 --> 00:24:34,551
Speaker 3: We've got support services and resources at our fingertips that

504
00:24:34,671 --> 00:24:39,911
Speaker 3: weren't ever available. Are there any other organizations or places

505
00:24:40,431 --> 00:24:44,071
Speaker 3: that you've been able to seek support, whether it's to

506
00:24:44,111 --> 00:24:46,591
Speaker 3: support you with your mental health or whether it's to

507
00:24:46,631 --> 00:24:53,071
Speaker 3: support you with anything with health wellness? Just so people

508
00:24:53,191 --> 00:24:56,711
Speaker 3: know that these services exist and if we don't know

509
00:24:56,751 --> 00:24:58,911
Speaker 3: about them, then people are not going to use them, right.

510
00:24:59,071 --> 00:25:01,151
Speaker 5: I think Odyssey House if you're out there looking for

511
00:25:01,191 --> 00:25:05,191
Speaker 5: a good counselor, Odissey House offer free concer and you

512
00:25:05,231 --> 00:25:07,391
Speaker 5: know they have a wide range of counselors there. But

513
00:25:07,791 --> 00:25:10,111
Speaker 5: just the team that I have there, I just absolutely

514
00:25:10,111 --> 00:25:12,191
Speaker 5: amazing have supported me through what I've been going through

515
00:25:12,231 --> 00:25:14,631
Speaker 5: the last couple months. And yeah, so if you're looking

516
00:25:14,631 --> 00:25:17,031
Speaker 5: for a good counselor, definitely obviously how I syep them up.

517
00:25:17,191 --> 00:25:20,191
Speaker 3: And we're talking about culturally appropriate services as well for

518
00:25:20,311 --> 00:25:25,271
Speaker 3: our mob come highly recommended by you. I love this

519
00:25:25,391 --> 00:25:26,551
Speaker 3: and this is what we need to do. We need

520
00:25:26,591 --> 00:25:28,911
Speaker 3: to let people know that there are services out there

521
00:25:29,351 --> 00:25:34,231
Speaker 3: that might not be community controlled averagal organizations. There are

522
00:25:34,231 --> 00:25:38,351
Speaker 3: other organizations out there that are doing pretty deadly work.

523
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,991
Speaker 3: So Odyssey House, we'll make sure we've got that in

524
00:25:41,071 --> 00:25:44,071
Speaker 3: our show notes. I've got this really kind of personal

525
00:25:44,151 --> 00:25:47,391
Speaker 3: question I want to ask you, yeah, is if you

526
00:25:47,471 --> 00:25:50,951
Speaker 3: could go back to your thirteen year old self, what

527
00:25:51,031 --> 00:25:52,991
Speaker 3: would you say to Wendel.

528
00:25:54,071 --> 00:25:59,391
Speaker 5: I'd say, You've got a rough road ahead. It's going

529
00:25:59,431 --> 00:26:00,951
Speaker 5: to be a trials and tribulation. You know there's going

530
00:26:00,991 --> 00:26:10,751
Speaker 5: to be hurdles, but you're going to overcome them. Get

531
00:26:10,751 --> 00:26:12,471
Speaker 5: a little of shitty people out there in this world

532
00:26:12,471 --> 00:26:14,191
Speaker 5: that are going to say negative things about you and

533
00:26:14,231 --> 00:26:14,831
Speaker 5: put you down.

534
00:26:15,911 --> 00:26:16,911
Speaker 4: You don't take that in.

535
00:26:17,031 --> 00:26:20,151
Speaker 5: And I know that that little fire and that spark

536
00:26:20,151 --> 00:26:21,831
Speaker 5: inside you is because you are going to be a

537
00:26:21,871 --> 00:26:24,591
Speaker 5: fucking star and you were born to be a star.

538
00:26:24,671 --> 00:26:26,431
Speaker 5: You were put on this earth for a reason. And

539
00:26:28,351 --> 00:26:31,191
Speaker 5: embrace every single day and delive it to the fullest

540
00:26:31,791 --> 00:26:34,351
Speaker 5: and know that you are a little black bouodoo and

541
00:26:34,391 --> 00:26:35,871
Speaker 5: be so fucking proud of yourself.

542
00:26:36,151 --> 00:26:40,591
Speaker 3: Power to you and much loving to you to keep

543
00:26:40,711 --> 00:26:43,751
Speaker 3: showing up because you could have turned your back with

544
00:26:43,911 --> 00:26:46,231
Speaker 3: all of the negativity that's come at you and you

545
00:26:46,311 --> 00:26:50,111
Speaker 3: probably will still face as you keep pushing through and

546
00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:54,871
Speaker 3: killing it, killing it in life with your your adventure.

547
00:26:54,951 --> 00:26:58,231
Speaker 3: I just want to say congratulations on starting.

548
00:26:57,871 --> 00:26:58,551
Speaker 1: Your own business.

549
00:26:58,671 --> 00:26:59,511
Speaker 4: Thank you so much.

550
00:26:59,591 --> 00:27:01,751
Speaker 1: It's not easy, but I'm here.

551
00:27:02,391 --> 00:27:03,911
Speaker 3: There's a lot of us in busines and has a

552
00:27:03,951 --> 00:27:07,391
Speaker 3: lot of black fellows that started with nothing, have come

553
00:27:07,431 --> 00:27:10,871
Speaker 3: from nothing and have built empires, have been able to

554
00:27:10,871 --> 00:27:15,551
Speaker 3: create intergenerational wealth for our families and communities and also

555
00:27:15,631 --> 00:27:20,351
Speaker 3: in that process breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma. You know,

556
00:27:20,471 --> 00:27:24,071
Speaker 3: this trauma is two hundred and fifty years old. Our

557
00:27:24,151 --> 00:27:26,471
Speaker 3: people are much older than that, our culture is much

558
00:27:26,551 --> 00:27:29,351
Speaker 3: older than that. So this strength based approach to having

559
00:27:29,351 --> 00:27:34,151
Speaker 3: these conversations around mental fitness, around building your village, I

560
00:27:34,231 --> 00:27:38,111
Speaker 3: just can't say thank you. I'm so grateful that you've

561
00:27:38,151 --> 00:27:42,271
Speaker 3: been able to loan your voice to support Black Magic

562
00:27:42,311 --> 00:27:46,111
Speaker 3: Woman and got you for life with this partnership series

563
00:27:46,271 --> 00:27:49,551
Speaker 3: around building mental fitness, so that all of our mob

564
00:27:51,271 --> 00:27:54,191
Speaker 3: just have the support they need, have the resources, have

565
00:27:54,271 --> 00:27:56,911
Speaker 3: the tools to be able to speak up, to be

566
00:27:56,951 --> 00:27:59,551
Speaker 3: able to call one three yarn or even to check

567
00:27:59,591 --> 00:28:02,271
Speaker 3: into an app that got you for life has just launched.

568
00:28:02,751 --> 00:28:05,631
Speaker 3: So if there's any word of wisdom, are any last

569
00:28:05,711 --> 00:28:10,031
Speaker 3: kind of you know, kind of words of even inspiration,

570
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:13,911
Speaker 3: what do you want to leave people with last?

571
00:28:13,991 --> 00:28:16,151
Speaker 5: You kind of to go out to any of the mob.

572
00:28:16,191 --> 00:28:17,871
Speaker 5: You know, whether you're black, white, doesn't matter what color

573
00:28:17,991 --> 00:28:20,031
Speaker 5: or age. If you are going through anything, you know

574
00:28:20,111 --> 00:28:20,711
Speaker 5: you do have mob.

575
00:28:20,791 --> 00:28:21,631
Speaker 4: You do have community.

576
00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:23,991
Speaker 5: Make sure you lean on them in those times, you know,

577
00:28:24,071 --> 00:28:26,111
Speaker 5: because like we're having right now, we're sitting here just

578
00:28:26,111 --> 00:28:28,511
Speaker 5: having a conversation. That's all that is literally needed. And

579
00:28:28,551 --> 00:28:31,551
Speaker 5: having a cry and having a cry, letting those emotions out.

580
00:28:31,551 --> 00:28:33,191
Speaker 5: And it's okay to feel that the way you're feeling

581
00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:35,831
Speaker 5: and then put yourself for feeling down that and feeling

582
00:28:35,831 --> 00:28:37,951
Speaker 5: that way. It's all right to feel that way. It's

583
00:28:37,951 --> 00:28:38,511
Speaker 5: only human.

584
00:28:38,791 --> 00:28:42,551
Speaker 3: Well, it is your birthday. Enjoy this special day.

585
00:28:42,791 --> 00:28:45,471
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me, and yes they saved all

586
00:28:45,471 --> 00:28:46,951
Speaker 5: the while out there, and make sure you reach out

587
00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:47,791
Speaker 5: when you need to reach.

588
00:28:47,631 --> 00:28:49,831
Speaker 1: Out too deadly, Well are you mob?

589
00:28:50,431 --> 00:28:54,391
Speaker 3: Through the tears, the laughter, the joy, This is just

590
00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:56,271
Speaker 3: who we are. And I love the fact that we

591
00:28:56,311 --> 00:28:59,791
Speaker 3: can just talk freely and not hold back because we're

592
00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:02,191
Speaker 3: human at the end of the day. This has been

593
00:29:02,631 --> 00:29:06,511
Speaker 3: an amazing opportunity for me to open the gate to

594
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:10,351
Speaker 3: our communities, to let more people in. We'll give them

595
00:29:10,391 --> 00:29:12,831
Speaker 3: an insight into who we are and the lives that

596
00:29:12,831 --> 00:29:15,471
Speaker 3: we'll live, and that we are pretty much just like

597
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:21,071
Speaker 3: everyone else. Sometimes, yeah, we kind of push to the

598
00:29:21,151 --> 00:29:24,151
Speaker 3: side or we're in the background, and now we need

599
00:29:24,191 --> 00:29:28,511
Speaker 3: to kind of be in the driver's seat. You know,

600
00:29:28,591 --> 00:29:30,311
Speaker 3: we need to be the ones that are telling our

601
00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:33,271
Speaker 3: stories on our terms. So thank you for being part

602
00:29:33,311 --> 00:29:36,111
Speaker 3: of this amazing partnership. We've got you for life.

603
00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:37,151
Speaker 4: Thank you for having me.

604
00:29:37,231 --> 00:29:39,631
Speaker 3: And tell you mob, I know you would have enjoyed

605
00:29:39,951 --> 00:29:44,071
Speaker 3: this Deadly Yarn. If you haven't been able to hear

606
00:29:44,271 --> 00:29:48,191
Speaker 3: any of the other episodes, you need to subscribe wherever

607
00:29:48,271 --> 00:29:50,391
Speaker 3: you get your podcasts from. If you go the iHeart app,

608
00:29:50,431 --> 00:29:52,831
Speaker 3: it's free. But you can listen to The Black Magic

609
00:29:52,831 --> 00:29:56,111
Speaker 3: Woman wherever get your podcast from, or even on YouTube,

610
00:29:56,111 --> 00:29:59,791
Speaker 3: and you can watch us yarn in person. So yeah,

611
00:29:59,911 --> 00:30:03,591
Speaker 3: go rate it, review it, share the love, share this podcast,

612
00:30:04,231 --> 00:30:07,351
Speaker 3: and tune in for the next episode of this amazing

613
00:30:07,471 --> 00:30:08,911
Speaker 3: mental Fitness Conversations.

614
00:30:09,191 --> 00:30:15,031
Speaker 2: Bye for now, Thanks for tuning in to Mental Fitness Conversations.

615
00:30:15,271 --> 00:30:18,351
Speaker 2: Keep building your emotional muscles with the free Mental Fitness

616
00:30:18,391 --> 00:30:21,911
Speaker 2: Gym app packed with tools, tips and everyday actions to

617
00:30:22,031 --> 00:30:25,071
Speaker 2: support your mental fitness. Download it from the App Store

618
00:30:25,191 --> 00:30:28,831
Speaker 2: or Google play Store or visit the Mentalfitnessgym dot org.

619
00:30:29,311 --> 00:30:32,391
Speaker 2: If anything in this episode brought something up for you, you

620
00:30:32,311 --> 00:30:34,831
Speaker 2: don't have to worry alone. Reach out to a trusted

621
00:30:34,911 --> 00:30:38,431
Speaker 2: friend or family member and know that support is available.

622
00:30:38,551 --> 00:30:41,871
Speaker 2: You can contact Lifeline on one three, double one, one

623
00:30:41,951 --> 00:30:45,391
Speaker 2: four or one three yarn at one three nine two

624
00:30:45,431 --> 00:30:49,231
Speaker 2: seven six for free and confidential support for Aboriginal and

625
00:30:49,271 --> 00:30:53,271
Speaker 2: Torrostrad Islander people. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us

626
00:30:53,271 --> 00:30:55,711
Speaker 2: a rating, share it with someone in your village, or

627
00:30:55,791 --> 00:30:58,271
Speaker 2: drop us a message. We'd love to hear what you think,

628
00:30:58,391 --> 00:31:01,031
Speaker 2: and don't forget to follow Black Magic Woman and Gotcha

629
00:31:01,071 --> 00:31:03,831
Speaker 2: for Life on all socials to keep the conversation ation

630
00:31:03,991 --> 00:31:04,271
Speaker 2: going