WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT: "I overheard my coworker talking about me behind my back... should I confront her?"

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<v Speaker 1>Highart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live

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<v Speaker 1>on the free iHeart app. Now it is time for

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<v Speaker 1>what we do every week on a Thursday, and that

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<v Speaker 1>is ask uncut Now, Asking Cutters where you guys? You

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<v Speaker 1>call in if you have a big, dark dilemma and

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<v Speaker 1>we do our absolute best to answer them. We have

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<v Speaker 1>Eloise on the phone and she is having a real

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<v Speaker 1>problem in her workplace and isn't sure how to navigate this.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Aloise, Hi guys, Hey going to sasterinaon We're good.

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<v Speaker 3>How are you? What's been happening?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I've I've been working with one of the

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<v Speaker 2>girls I work with for a few years, side by side,

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<v Speaker 2>and i'd overheard recently through the grape vine she has

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<v Speaker 2>been a bit of time talking about me behind my back.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what you said? Basically, she's just really

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<v Speaker 2>unhappy with the job I was doing and we do

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<v Speaker 2>the same job. We've just as good as each other.

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<v Speaker 2>She was just really unhappy with how I was working,

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<v Speaker 2>but didn't say it to my face.

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<v Speaker 3>Have you personally overheard her or has another colleague just said.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey, no, another colleague she had spent time talking about

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<v Speaker 2>me for another colleague.

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<v Speaker 1>That's rough. Also, did she speak to just one specific colleague,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's then becomes tricky because you can't be like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>this person told me this thing that you said, because

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<v Speaker 1>then it just you know, everyone gets pissed off.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just have no idea. Like, we literally sit

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<v Speaker 2>next to each other, Like it's really hard to navigate

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<v Speaker 2>when we work so closely together. I know that she's

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<v Speaker 2>really unhappy with me, but you know, we own the

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<v Speaker 2>same wage, we do the same job.

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<v Speaker 3>So do you think that she has said this to

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<v Speaker 3>anybody else? Do you get the inklan that has been

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<v Speaker 3>said to more people?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I definitely feel like it she said it to

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<v Speaker 2>a few people, not one either.

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<v Speaker 1>That opens up the doorway for you to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to say something to her. And also the fact that

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<v Speaker 1>she's talking to multiple people about you, I think that

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<v Speaker 1>poisons the world because all that's doing is it's then

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<v Speaker 1>making other people be more critical of your work or

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<v Speaker 1>look for the negative things. And I reckon, you have

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<v Speaker 1>to say something to it.

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<v Speaker 3>You've got to pull that up right away. I think

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<v Speaker 3>you just say I genuinely, now that you know she

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<v Speaker 3>said it to more than one person, I think you say, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>can I chat to you for a second. Look, I've

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<v Speaker 3>heard that you are unhappy with me for whatever reason.

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<v Speaker 3>I would love for you to be able to tell

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<v Speaker 3>me why. And I hope that in the future, if

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<v Speaker 3>you have an issue with me, you come and tell

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<v Speaker 3>me instead of talking to other people about it. Because

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<v Speaker 3>there are so many things wrong with her talking like

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<v Speaker 3>you just said, poisons the world. But I don't think

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<v Speaker 3>that that needs to be an awkward thing to say. Hey, look,

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<v Speaker 3>can we just talk for a second, because I've heard

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<v Speaker 3>you've been saying this. Put her on the spot and

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<v Speaker 3>see what happens.

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<v Speaker 1>Also awkward though, when you have to go back to

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<v Speaker 1>sitting directly next to us.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Like when you say goodbye to someone and then

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<v Speaker 3>you walk in the same direction. Do you think you

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<v Speaker 3>could do that or is that too awkward for you?

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like it'd be really hard to sit next

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<v Speaker 2>to her again.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and you moved in.

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<v Speaker 1>What sort of company is it?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it a big company? I don't mean, like.

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly what you need in retail?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Right, so you are, do you know what? And

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<v Speaker 1>I run retail businesses, so I know this retail can

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<v Speaker 1>be so bitchy with how people interact but I also

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<v Speaker 1>think that the only way to clear the air with

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<v Speaker 1>this type of thing. And I say this from the

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<v Speaker 1>perspective of someone who manages retail. I have myself twenty

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<v Speaker 1>stars that I managed through my other company. I think

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<v Speaker 1>you have to You've got to call a spade a spade,

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<v Speaker 1>and if it absolutely isn't something that you can handle yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>going and speaking to whoever your manager is about it

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<v Speaker 1>and saying, hey, I'm really struggling with this. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>as though this makes me, you know, it's really ruining

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<v Speaker 1>the culture for me, because then they're going to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to do something about it. But I would I

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<v Speaker 1>would approach it first and be and do it in

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<v Speaker 1>a really non confrontational way.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that they're a great steps to take.

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<v Speaker 2>My nervousness is just that she loves the good gossip.

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<v Speaker 2>Then I think maybe I'm just a target that week.

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<v Speaker 3>And it might just go around. Yeah, I'm that also

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't mean it's okay, Like just because someone that is

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<v Speaker 3>someone like, oh, she always does this, we get used

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<v Speaker 3>to making excuses for people like that, like, oh, it's

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<v Speaker 3>just who they are, which is a load of rubbish,

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<v Speaker 3>Like even if that is who they are. That doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>mean it's good.

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<v Speaker 1>I think anyone should be able to go to work

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<v Speaker 1>and not be getting gossiped about like that. We shouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>expect or accept that as a normal And.

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<v Speaker 2>Like you said, I suppose I can always go above

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<v Speaker 2>if there's an issue.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think this is good advice for anyone

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<v Speaker 1>because I think a lot of people feel nervous about,

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<v Speaker 1>like speaking to a manager about something. Those conversations don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to be big and dramatic. You're not dubbing on someone.

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<v Speaker 1>You're just making them aware so that they can manage

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<v Speaker 1>the situation. And most of the time, like a manager

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<v Speaker 1>is not going to go direct to that person say

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<v Speaker 1>this person said this like you would hope. If you've

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<v Speaker 1>got good people in managerial positions, they know how to

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<v Speaker 1>navigate those types of situations if they come up thing

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<v Speaker 1>it's good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I agree, we good that it really sucks.

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<v Speaker 3>I think we've all been on the end of that

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<v Speaker 3>at some point of our career.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you so much, girl, that's really great advice.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks Eloise. Hey bridg just at the time you were

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<v Speaker 1>talking about a staff member, but they're behind you.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh do you know what ones? Do you know a

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<v Speaker 3>funny story. I think a lot of people don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>But I used to work in the hospital for like

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<v Speaker 3>thirteen years, and this one time I was in the

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<v Speaker 3>emergency department and there was this doctor that I was

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<v Speaker 3>having a fight with high pressure. We were, yeah, we

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<v Speaker 3>were disagreeing on the way to treat a patient. And

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<v Speaker 3>this was my world, right, Like, I get he's a doctor.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm in diagnostic radiography. I was doing a trauma CT scan.

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<v Speaker 3>He doesn't know what it is. I was like going

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<v Speaker 3>to town on him, and I think I called him

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<v Speaker 3>a moron. I said, he doesn't nice. He's the doctor Brier.

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<v Speaker 3>It doesn't matter. He wasn't the doctor of radiology. They're

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<v Speaker 3>very different, right, Like we study for four years. We

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<v Speaker 3>know that equipment, we know what you do. He doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>know that. And I was saying, he's requesting the wrong thing.

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<v Speaker 3>This is bad for him. This guy's a moron. Doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>know he's talking about. As he walked around the corner

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<v Speaker 3>and I walked around, we bumped into each other. Not

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<v Speaker 3>only did he hear every word, but I said it

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<v Speaker 3>my noise was touching his chest and I was like, well, well,

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<v Speaker 3>it's true, that's what I said, because I had to

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<v Speaker 3>double down. But anyway,