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Speaker 1: It's a woman Woody podcast minis for when you're in

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Speaker 1: a rush or just can't be bothered listening to them

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Speaker 1: blather on for half an hour.

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Speaker 2: We've joined us at a very exciting time Australia.

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Speaker 3: We're about to reveal what is stalking Harry and Meghan's

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Speaker 3: son's chickens.

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Speaker 2: Archie is his name.

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Speaker 3: Before I get into that, though, I've got a question

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Speaker 3: for all you parents out there at numbers thirteen one

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Speaker 3: oh sixty five? What did you tell the kids about

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Speaker 3: the missing pet? I'm sure you can join the dots

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Speaker 3: there when I'm saying missing pet, we've all had to

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Speaker 3: light a children, I think when that pet does go missing.

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Speaker 3: Reason I'm asking that question is because there is no

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Speaker 3: doubt in my mind that Archie's chickens are in grave danger.

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Speaker 3: A black bear will black bear, yeah, most dangerous of

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Speaker 3: the bears.

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Speaker 4: Not at all, actually relatively harmless small black bears, but

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Speaker 4: it was a brown bear would be worried.

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Speaker 2: But taking on a coop of chickens.

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Speaker 4: A coop, yeah yeah, yeah, Well the chickens are in danger.

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Speaker 4: The chickens as he's eating a few cocks, hasn't he.

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Speaker 3: He's eating a few well, Yeah, there's this black bear

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Speaker 3: has eaten a few cocks next door to Harry and

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Speaker 3: Meghan and the next oni neighbors are basically saying, we

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Speaker 3: know Archie's got a couple of cocks in there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but cocks are okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, the royal cock is assured.

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Speaker 3: The royal cocks, I think, are in grave if the

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Speaker 3: black bear is around trouble. And what I'm trying to

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Speaker 3: say is that Harry and Meghan are about to find

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Speaker 3: themselves in the situation as parents where they're going to

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Speaker 3: have to lie to Archie about what's happened to the chickens.

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Speaker 4: Can I ask you very quickly before we get into

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Speaker 4: please the potential massacre of Archie's chickens, do you think

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Speaker 4: that the bear was planted there by the royal family? Like,

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Speaker 4: do you think the queen centered as revenge?

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Speaker 3: I hadn't thought about that. I mean, what are the

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Speaker 3: chances when it could be a coincidence that all of

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Speaker 3: a sudden, you know you've done this Oprah into doing

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Speaker 3: a black bear.

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Speaker 4: There's a murderous black bear ringing chickens necks in the night.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I reckon. I mean, here's another thought for you,

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Speaker 4: and I don't want to hit me with it. Put

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Speaker 4: the bear amongst the pigeons or the chickens, so to speak.

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Speaker 4: But what if the.

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Speaker 2: Queen is the bear?

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Speaker 3: Bloody hell, you've just spun that right on its head,

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Speaker 3: so you reckon. The Queen has i don't know called

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Speaker 3: a private flight from the UK to Canada. She's dressed

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Speaker 3: herself up as a black bear, and to get back

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Speaker 3: at Harry, she is going to literally eat archiese chickens.

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Speaker 3: And not only to pull off the rus of being

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Speaker 3: a black bear, she has already eaten random's chickens just

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Speaker 3: to convince everyone I'm a bear.

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Speaker 2: Look, blah blah blah. I beat the chicken.

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Speaker 4: Bit was just an act to provedever, and it's like

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Speaker 4: those people that go under cover for ten years, but

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Speaker 4: the first five years is just part of the long con. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's what the Queen's been the future I mean, And

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Speaker 4: when you say it out loud, it sounds a bit ridiculous,

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Speaker 4: doesn't it.

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Speaker 2: Well you've got me mate, really.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm going to get back on track on what

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Speaker 3: I was talking about before, if you don't mind, Harry

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Speaker 3: and Meghan find themselves in this situation quite seriously. Though,

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Speaker 3: when these chickens, when these chickens get killed by this

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Speaker 3: black bear, it's going to happen.

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Speaker 2: Guys, I'm sorry, it's likely.

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Speaker 3: Going to happen. Harry and Meghan are going to have

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Speaker 3: Harry and Meghan are going to have to lie to

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Speaker 3: Archie about where these chickens went, because all parents do that.

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Speaker 4: Last time they want to tell their grandkid is that

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Speaker 4: their grandma dressed up in a bear suit and ate

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Speaker 4: raw chicken.

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Speaker 3: Exactly right, The truth hurts. Thirteen one oh six y five.

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Speaker 3: I know you parents around there. Maybe you were the

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Speaker 3: kid in this situation. You'll later find out what was

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Speaker 3: the lie mum and dad told when the pet went missing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I got one. Maybe it's Alfred. But my I

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Speaker 2: don't even know who that is. Prince Alfred.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he didn't die, Maybe he just went and undercover

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Speaker 4: as the bear. Yeah, maybe it's still him.

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Speaker 2: This is to clear up.

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Speaker 4: Just before I was talking about Prince Alfred dressing up

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Speaker 4: as a bear to kill Archie's chickens.

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Speaker 2: That's Meghan and Harry's Archie, their little boy.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm meant to say Prince Philip and I think

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Speaker 4: there could be a bit of conspiracy theory that he

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Speaker 4: didn't actually die, but his last service to the empire

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Speaker 4: was to get into a bearsuit and kill raw chooks.

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Speaker 4: After the Oprah interview.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to put on record this is what

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Speaker 2: he's speaking. I do not condone that theory.

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Speaker 3: I will, however, entertain the idea that the queen he's

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Speaker 3: dressing up as a black bear, because that is a

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Speaker 3: true story. Archie's chickens are being stalked by a black bear.

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Speaker 3: In my opinion, the chickens are cooked.

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Speaker 2: Guys. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I hate to be a realist on you all dropping

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Speaker 3: truth bombs up in here, but the chickens are dead.

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Speaker 3: Oh they're going to They're just gone. It's a black

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Speaker 3: bear at the end of the day. So I'm asking

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Speaker 3: parents out there on thirteen one oh sixty five to

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Speaker 3: give us a call about what they told the kids

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Speaker 3: when the pet went missing, because that's what Harry and

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Speaker 3: Megan are gonna have to do.

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Speaker 2: The truth hurts.

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Speaker 4: Wow, Well will they tell them? Do you think they

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Speaker 4: didn't tell them a lot? Great grandfather Philip didn't actually die.

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Speaker 2: They definitely won't say that they ushered him out.

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Speaker 4: There's a trap door under the coffin. He slipped straight

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Speaker 4: into a bespoke bearsuit and he's been eating raw chicken

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Speaker 4: for the last six days.

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Speaker 2: Tough conversation to have. It's been dead for longer than that.

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Speaker 3: But let's go to Karina here thirty one or sixty five, Karna,

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Speaker 3: what happened with us samurai fish?

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Speaker 5: Yes, well, we've had a few, but the third one died.

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Speaker 5: I don't know why, and he was at school and

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Speaker 5: I couldn't get one straight away. So when he came home,

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Speaker 5: I said, look, sorry, he's to go on holidays. Next day.

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Speaker 5: He's quite upsets, believe me. Next day where I went

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Speaker 5: to the shop and I brought another one home which

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Speaker 5: was a different color because I didn't have the same

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Speaker 5: And I said to him, it's a magic fish. They

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Speaker 5: change colors, they go on holidays, and they come back

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Speaker 5: and they're a different color. Hopefab We went on to

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Speaker 5: years this amazing ill he did believe it.

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Speaker 3: So sorry, So Karina, every time a samurai fish died,

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Speaker 3: you would say holiday. And then when he was on holiday,

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Speaker 3: he got a bit of a suntan. He's also a

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Speaker 3: magic fish. Or he changed colors and now he's back

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Speaker 3: from his holiday.

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Speaker 5: That's right us.

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Speaker 1: I believe it.

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Speaker 5: Genius.

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Speaker 2: Hell, that's a good idea. You really did it for

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Speaker 2: every pet just gone on a holiday.

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Speaker 5: He's going on holiday.

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Speaker 2: Take a few.

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Speaker 3: Photos of a random fish in you know, Tahiti. There

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Speaker 3: he is, just go on Google.

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Speaker 2: Image and fish. Look at him.

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Speaker 3: He's written you a postcard. Let's go to Sonya. Now, Sonya,

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Speaker 3: what happened to your dog?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 6: Yes, hi. We had two children, two toddlers. One ended

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Speaker 6: up being allergic to the dog. So I'm like, yep,

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Speaker 6: he's gone. So my husband took him and put him

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Speaker 6: to the pet shop and I just said, he's gone

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Speaker 6: on an adventure. And every month I would get a

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Speaker 6: letter with like very like children's writing and a poor

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Speaker 6: print honor telling him adventures where he was in Tasmania

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Speaker 6: when he was down clicking opals and yeah, so I

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Speaker 6: did so every month and I would get a letter

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Speaker 6: from Scott saying that he was having a fabulous adventure

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Speaker 6: but he missed him and he loved.

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Speaker 2: Him extraordinary, Sonya. But how did it end or is

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Speaker 2: it still going?

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Speaker 6: I look at it faded out for about a year.

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Speaker 6: It was once a month, and then I kind of

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Speaker 6: like stretched the letters out a little bit until that

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Speaker 6: kind of I forgot about it natural.

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Speaker 2: Phase that.

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Speaker 4: Where was his last letter from Sonya Rhodesia somewhere for him?

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Speaker 2: Nice to make it there. All the pets are good.

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Speaker 2: We got Jackie here. Now, Jackie, you had a pet lamb.

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Speaker 3: We're talking about the lies you tell your kids when

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Speaker 3: the when the pet goes missing.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, Hi, I just want to have a disclosure to

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Speaker 7: anybody out there. It's not a happy ending, yea. So

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Speaker 7: we had a yeah, pitt lamb. We came home one

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Speaker 7: day and it was gone and missing, and mom and

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Speaker 7: dad told us that a giant came and stole it.

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Speaker 7: And later that the dinner table there was lamb. And

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Speaker 7: because we were so distraught and crying, my parents couldn't

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Speaker 7: eat dinner.

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Speaker 4: Oh my, So you guys put two and two together

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Speaker 4: that you didn't believe the lie.

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Speaker 2: You were just like you bastards, So we didn't know.

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Speaker 7: We didn't know, little yeah, because we were so much

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Speaker 7: my parents couldn't actually eat because.

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Speaker 4: They felt awful about what they're done. Surely there are

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Speaker 4: other lambs to kill out there, Jackie, Like, why did

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Speaker 4: they go for yours?

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Speaker 7: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: The naughty giant, naughty, giant giant. We got Maria here,

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Speaker 2: that was pretty wild. We've got Mariage going very well.

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Speaker 7: Thank you.

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Speaker 3: Were still just reeling from that pet Lamb story. That

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Speaker 3: was pretty hectic. Oh, you had a couple of those.

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Speaker 4: But at the end of the day, you are killing

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Speaker 4: a baby, and specifically a baby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then feed it to your kids. That's Jackie's

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Speaker 2: parents did.

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Speaker 3: But Marie, you've got a story about what you told

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Speaker 3: the kids when a pet went missing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, petit. I was trying to also ensure

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Speaker 1: that we ate healthily, and the kids really loved They

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Speaker 1: didn't seem so I just said when the cat went missing,

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Speaker 1: I just said, well, what princes they use cats to

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Speaker 1: make dim sims. So two birds, one staring kind of thing,

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Speaker 1: so he eat healthy. But then I put dim sims

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Speaker 1: in front of them and I got looked like I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, that devil, because I've served up cat wrecked

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Speaker 1: in pastry and they never touched them again.

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Speaker 2: Fooking more of your boys on the Full Show podcast.

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Speaker 7: You know you want to