WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Thin walls and loud neighbours 👌👈😳 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:22.439 Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.639 on cart I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and we just 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:29.640 finished a freaking awesome interview with a woman named logan Urie, 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:31.760 which is coming out next Tuesday. But that's not what 0:00:31.760 --> 0:00:34.519 we're doing on today's episode. Are you gonna? Are you 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:36.400 gonna tell them what it's about? Or just drop a name? 0:00:36.760 --> 0:00:39.120 Are you? Are you soft launching an episode? 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:39.479 Laura? 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:40.480 I am. 0:00:40.280 --> 0:00:42.599 I'm guys, it's gonna be the best episode that you've 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.680 ever listened to. This one's gonna be really good as well. 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.680 But maybe we should tell you what this episode's about. 0:00:46.720 --> 0:00:48.400 Well, this is asking on Cart. They know what this is, 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.720 don't you'd ask us your questions? Will we answer? I 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:52.120 think we don't need to go into that one. 0:00:52.200 --> 0:00:54.240 Well, maybe there's a new listener who doesn't know, and 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:57.080 this is where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:59.640 But before we get into unpacking all of the messed 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:00.640 up that's going. 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.600 On in your life at the moment, britt have you 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:06.280 watched Squid Game yet? Okay, a few people have asked 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.560 me this and I have seen it everywhere. Obviously, I'm 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:10.759 in quarantine at the moment, and I'm almost I think 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:13.840 halfway through. I've been been watching Netflix, but I have 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.680 not turned on a squid game. And this is because 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.880 all I've heard is people say, is really scary and 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:22.319 really gory, and that like I get scared and scary 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.000 movie as in like the piss take of the scary movies, 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:27.760 you know, the comedy scary movie and that scares you. 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:29.520 It scares me because it's like too close to the 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:33.440 real thing. I'm such a pussy, like I can't watch 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:36.679 anything scary or I'll have nightmare. So I haven't yet 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.720 watched it. One thing I have. Look, I'm gonna come 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.080 with a recommendation, and I do think that I'm behind 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:42.760 the times. I think I'm late to the party. But 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.319 it's Peaky Blinders. Have you watched that, Laura? I have 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.280 not seen Peekles, do not know. I thought I had 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:50.480 seen the whole of Netflix. Now no, so I have 0:01:50.520 --> 0:01:52.920 seen Peaky Blinders. You know, when you're scrolling your Netflix 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:54.640 of things to watch, you see the same shows, but 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.520 you always just bypass them because you're like that's probably 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.040 so shit, or it doesn't grab you. Something about it 0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:01.520 doesn't grab you. I've seen Pey blinders for so long, 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.680 and I've just thought, man, not for me. I am hooked. 0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.680 I just binge watched six seasons like the whole it's 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.440 over for me, and I cried at the end because 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.840 I was like, what I do now? It was so good. 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:14.760 So I can't recommend it if I tell you what 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.440 it's about. If you haven't watched it, you're not going 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.760 to be interested. It's like back in the day, these 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.600 mafia in England and their drug dealers, and it's about 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:24.160 their family dynamic and it doesn't it's not a cell 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:28.080 but you get so obsessed with the characters. There's so 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:32.160 much great wonderful scripting and great acting and great character 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:34.040 development that you really get hooked in and you're just 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:36.200 like you feel like you know them so and they're 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:38.160 the sort of seasons that I absolutely love. So that's 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:40.799 my recommendation, and that is what I've been binging. Wait 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:42.600 can we just go back a second to where you 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:45.519 said you cried because the series ended. Now was the 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:48.560 last episode sad or did you actually cry because you 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:50.720 finished watching it and you were like, there's nothing else 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:54.919 for me to watch now I'm morning a loss. Okay, 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.400 So this happened with me with Outlander. When I read 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:00.160 the books. There are also six books of Outlander. It 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.280 took me like two years to really like get through them. 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.840 I was at school. I put the last I remember 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.360 closing the book, and I was in hysterics because I 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:10.280 didn't know what to do with my life anymore for 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:14.079 all this time, for years, these people and I sound crazy, 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.720 but any bookworm's out there you know this feeling. You know, 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.760 I'm not crazy, but like when you're that invested, you're 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:21.720 mourning a loss. Because I went back and read the 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:24.160 whole series twice. But that's a good writer. You feel 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:25.800 like you're there with them and you feel like you 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:27.840 know them and you are so invested in their story, 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:30.960 and anyone that knows what I'm talking about, I'm not crazy. 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:32.760 There is a feeling that you can mourn a loss 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:35.160 when you finish a good series of book or TV. 0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:39.280 So that's my defense. Okay, Well, I have started sword Games, 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.400 and I'm going to tell you when this trauma is finished, 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:42.800 i am not going to mourn a loss. I'm going 0:03:42.840 --> 0:03:44.720 to be very happy that this is the end and 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:46.800 it comes to an end. I know that there's going 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:48.440 to be so many people listening to this who have 0:03:48.480 --> 0:03:51.400 started watching it just for some reference. I am on 0:03:51.520 --> 0:03:54.120 episode two right now. I've seen the first episode, the 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:57.040 second episode. If you're in early days, we're so early. 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.600 But we turned it on last night because obviously the 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.560 higher Internet has been talking about it. Some people in 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:06.520 the Facebook group were talking about it. It is fucking chaos, 0:04:06.760 --> 0:04:09.360 and I'm not going to give away too much about 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:11.960 it for fear of spoiling. I mean, I can't spoil it, 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:13.520 and I have only watched two episodes, so I can't 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.400 spoil it for you. But it is this dystopian reality 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.080 where they are basically I mean, if you've seen the 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:21.520 Hunger Games, it kind of has a very similar premise 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:24.479 to the Hunger Games, except it was created in Korea. 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:26.560 You can either choose to watch it dubbed or you 0:04:26.600 --> 0:04:30.840 can watch it subtitled. And basically it's a game or 0:04:31.000 --> 0:04:34.640 series of games where the contestants are fighting literally for 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:37.719 their lives. The losers die, and the winners continue to 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:40.520 go through the games in order to win this incredibly 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:42.760 huge amount of prize money. I think it's like forty 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:45.880 five million dollars, which is supposed to be trying to 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:49.400 highlight the disparity, and it's got this deep concept. It's 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:51.640 trying to highlight the disparity between the rich and the poor, 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.119 what we would do for money, how money runs the world. 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:56.720 But guys, is it is so messed up. I can't 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:59.080 even recommend it because it makes me feel so uncomfortable 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:00.960 watching it. I don't think I would be able to 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:03.040 watch it. Like you know where there was that period 0:05:03.040 --> 0:05:04.719 in our life. I think you and I were probably 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.400 about twenty when it happened where all these horror films 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:09.840 came out and the real gruesomeness. I couldn't watch them. 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:10.920 I can't do it. 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:12.599 It was like, I know what you did last summer 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:14.560 saw and they were just back to back and if 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.239 you go back and watch them now, they're so lame. 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:20.480 They're so poorly put together, and they go for really 0:05:20.560 --> 0:05:24.800 horror like Gore Factor, whereas Squid Game. It's not scary 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.599 like I mean, it makes you feel very uncomfortable, and 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.080 I think for me, I went to bed with wild 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:33.039 anxiety after watching it last night. But it's not so 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.080 much scary as what it is just really fucking disturbing, 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.680 and the fact that somebody actually sat down and created 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:42.640 this this came out of someone's mind is just so 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:44.440 mind blowing in and of itself. 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:46.080 I think I would still be scared. I don't think 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.680 i've outgrown scream in those things because my tolerance is 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.919 just so low. But do you watch these shows, like 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:52.360 when you watch a foreign show, do you watch it 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:53.839 dubbed or do you watch your subtitled? 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:57.080 This is pretty controversial. Look, I prefer subtitles, but if 0:05:57.120 --> 0:05:59.360 I'm doing something, I'll watch it dubbed. So last night 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:01.960 we watched the first two episodes dubbed because we were 0:06:01.960 --> 0:06:03.800 eating and I was like, I want to also be 0:06:03.839 --> 0:06:07.119 able to enjoy my food and not miss anything. And yeah, 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.120 so I think for like ease of watching, we watched 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.320 it dubbed. But dubbed kind of makes it all feel 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.520 a little bit more comical, Like I think, when you're 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:16.880 watching it dubbed, it kind of loses an element of 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:20.039 that suspense and fear because a person's voice doesn't match 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.200 up to their mouth. Two episodes in, I am hook 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:23.960 Line and Sinker and now I need to know what happens. 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:26.200 But I also think, and I do think this, and 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.960 I think this is why you've watched it as well. 0:06:28.320 --> 0:06:30.000 For sure, it's going to end up being the number 0:06:30.040 --> 0:06:33.680 one modest stream show that Netflix have ever had. But 0:06:33.720 --> 0:06:35.440 I think a lot of people have watching it because 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.120 there has been It's everywhere, Like there's been so much 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:42.120 talk about it. It's everywhere I look. People are talking, tweeting, resharing, 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:44.840 it's all over every platform, squid games. I think there's 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:46.800 a lot of people that are like, would never be 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.839 interested in it or would never watch it, and they're like, 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:50.960 all right, fine, like let's just see what the fuss 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:52.760 is about, which I feel like is probably why you've 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.200 checked into it now, because you're like, probably not saying 0:06:55.240 --> 0:06:58.080 i'd watch I'll probably end up watching it because eventually 0:06:58.160 --> 0:06:59.719 it's going to get the better of me. When everyone's 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:02.520 talking about something, you're like, Okay, I'm going to have 0:07:02.520 --> 0:07:04.080 to see what the fuss is about. But I reckon 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:06.479 there's a big chunk of people watching it purely to 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:09.280 see what everyone else is talking about. It's totally fomo. 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:10.760 And I think as soon as you start seeing the 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:12.760 memes that are coming out and the jokes, you have 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:14.320 this feeling of like, oh, I don't want to miss 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:14.640 out on this. 0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:16.440 I want to see what's going on. But then you 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.280 check in and you see what's going on, and it's 0:07:18.320 --> 0:07:21.840 actually so so messed up and so chaotic. So I 0:07:21.840 --> 0:07:24.440 don't even know if this is actually a recommendation. I'm 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.120 not going to sit here and recommend that you guys 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.080 should go and watch good games if you haven't already. 0:07:28.400 --> 0:07:30.080 But it's there, everyone's watching it. 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:32.080 It's a thing to do, and I am voluntarily jumped 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:32.840 on the bandwagon. 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.360 Okay, maybe I'll force myself to watch one just so 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.120 I can. Maybe just one. Is the first one? Two gruesome? 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:39.720 The first one is that fucked? That's that. 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.600 The second episode is actually really slow moving, I thought, 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:45.840 but the first episode is so maybe that's just it. 0:07:45.640 --> 0:07:46.400 It doesn't. 0:07:46.880 --> 0:07:49.840 I don't know if the gruesomeness adds anything. And I 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:52.120 don't think we need to see that many people be 0:07:52.200 --> 0:07:54.280 killed in that close range, Like I feel like we've 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:56.800 become desensitized to watching people just get slaughtered. 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:00.360 It's wild that this is going to be the most 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:03.040 watched Netflix series. It blows my mind. But here we 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:06.760 are fully the world. We're full of sickos, so sick anyway, guys, 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:08.160 let's get into the questions. 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:10.360 We have picked out a couple for you guys, today. 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:12.760 I mean, no surprise, it's the same thing every week, 0:08:12.840 --> 0:08:15.200 has been for two years. But Brittany hit me with 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:16.360 question number one. 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:18.920 Okay, question number one. My partner and I are both 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:21.560 twenty one and have been dating for over four years, 0:08:21.600 --> 0:08:24.680 So do the math. That's pretty young. He's absolutely my penguin, 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.400 and I am ridiculously happy and settled in a life 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:29.840 that we have together. We have spoken a lot about 0:08:29.840 --> 0:08:32.160 marriage and both see it as the next step. I 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.480 feel like I'm absolutely ready for that commitment. However, there 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:37.640 is a part of me that worries about the judgment 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:39.840 of my friends. There have been a lot of successful 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:42.120 young marriages in my family, so I know they will 0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:44.560 be support as well. I'm just not sure about some 0:08:44.640 --> 0:08:47.040 of my friends. Not that it really matters, but I 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.200 would just love to hear your opinion on this. What 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:51.839 do you think? What are your thoughts on young marriage, Laura? 0:08:51.920 --> 0:08:54.280 Well, I mean, look, I'm not against it. I think 0:08:54.280 --> 0:08:56.080 there is a big part of me that's like, you know, 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:57.880 you need to experience life. You don't know who you 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:00.280 are in your early twenties. But that comes from my 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:02.839 own personal experience. You know, I know how much I've 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:04.920 changed from being in my early twenties to being in 0:09:04.960 --> 0:09:08.800 my mid thirties. But just because that's my personal reflection 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:11.120 on it, and just because that's my experience doesn't mean 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:13.439 that it's somebody else's. And if you're in an awesome 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:16.360 relationship in your early twenties and you are so lucky 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.160 that you've met someone who you can grow with, who 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:21.440 challenges you, who supports you, who you can see and 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:24.120 know that you're going in the right direction together, then 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.240 I don't think that you need to just experience dating 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:28.600 a whole lot of people. You don't need to go 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:31.599 and experience how fucked up dating can be to appreciate 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.760 something that you already have. It's totally a non essential 0:09:35.120 --> 0:09:36.920 and I think sometimes we put too much pressure on 0:09:36.960 --> 0:09:40.480 this idea that you need to be single to find yourself. 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.000 You can very much find yourself and be in a 0:09:43.000 --> 0:09:45.319 supporting and loving relationship at the same time. 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.600 The key here, the key sentence is what you are 0:09:48.679 --> 0:09:51.760 most worried about is I'm worried what my friends will think. 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.199 I mean, that is the biggest problem here, and it's 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:58.360 a problem that should be nonexistent. It does not matter 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.880 what your friends think of your decision. To marry the 0:10:00.880 --> 0:10:03.320 person that you love like that is irrelevant. And if 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:04.960 any of your friends are going to judge you for 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:06.680 that and not get on board and not be supportive, 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.679 that's the problem. And I would be looking more at 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.839 those kinds of friendships and why you're still in those friendships. 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.400 If you were in an abusive relationship and you were saying, hey, 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:16.440 I'm going to marry him and your friends were worried 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.200 about you doing that, that is very different. But you 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.800 are so happy, you're in love, you really want to 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:23.600 marry the love of your life. I wouldn't worry about 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:26.199 what your friends think. In regards to what Laura said. 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:28.959 If you had written in and said, we talk about 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:31.280 marriage and we're pretty happy, but I'm not sure if 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:33.840 he's the one, That's when I would say, maybe you 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.400 need to think about this really carefully because you are 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:38.400 on the border and you're not sure whether he's someone 0:10:38.400 --> 0:10:40.240 you want to commit to. That's when I'd be like, 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.280 maybe you do need to experience life, Maybe you do 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:44.000 need to date some more people, Maybe you do need 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.720 to figure out who you are. But you sound very 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:50.000 convinced and confident in your relationship, so I think go 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.520 helpful leather. There are plenty, plenty of long, beautiful love 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.560 in relationships that have been together since they were like 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.000 sixteen years old, regardless of age. 0:10:58.040 --> 0:10:59.679 I think that there are the same things that you 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:02.480 need to ask yourself when you're heading into like making 0:11:02.480 --> 0:11:05.040 a big decision of marriage, Like having the big conversations 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:07.160 around do you guys want to have kids, where do 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.240 you want to live, how do you see your life 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.079 looking in the future, Like what are you aiming towards? 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:15.600 What are your aspirations. Having all of those really big 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:19.800 hard conversations first are what really defined whether it's going 0:11:19.840 --> 0:11:21.840 to be a successful marriage. Whether you guys have your 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:24.320 five year and your ten year plan mapped out, it 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.640 doesn't matter at the end of the day. Sure, maybe 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:28.240 some of your friends will think, oh, it's a bit 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.880 weird they got married so young. They're gonna get over it. 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.640 Loads of people in my friendship, grooves in my life 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.080 got married young, and some of them are still together, 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.880 some of them aren't. You can't predict exactly what's going 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:40.559 to happen in the next ten years of your life 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.840 or fifteen years of your life. But if you make 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:45.000 that commitment that you want to get married. I think 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:48.959 the big thing is regardless of age, is really being 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.960 clear on where you want their relationship to head and 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.240 making sure that you have those big, big conversations. And 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:58.280 also I guess it will come with its own set 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.000 of challenges in that you know, you guys are not 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.000 going to be the same people that you are now 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:04.280 in ten years time. You will do a lot of 0:12:04.320 --> 0:12:07.160 personal development in your twenties. We all do, like we 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.880 all experience and grow so much in our twenties. It's 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:14.320 a time of huge, huge change for so many people. 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.800 But that doesn't mean that that change can't happen alongside 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:20.200 someone and it doesn't mean that you can't grow together 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:23.800 and be a great relationship and have a great relationship 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.400 at the same time. So if your only thing and 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:28.560 your only barrier is what people will think of you 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.240 getting married young, I just think be super clear with 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:33.160 your intentions and who cares what people think? 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:36.000 Amen, sister. I wouldn't have been nice to just meet 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:39.400 someone early and just like cut out all the fucking bullshit. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:43.040 My first boyfriend from eighteen until twenty three was an angel, 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:43.880 and then I just. 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:47.439 Dated so much shit after that. Like if only I 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.520 had known what I knew then. I was like, this 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:51.959 is what relationships should be. But I then kind of 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:53.960 got a bit bored and then dated some other people, 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:55.480 and I was like, I really need to fuck things 0:12:55.520 --> 0:12:58.440 up before it gets good again. Honestly, my relationship from 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:04.200 sixteen to like twenty three was what dreams made of 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:08.720 Like in hindsight, like he was such a he was 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:10.800 just such a nice guy. But for me, and it's 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:14.120 exactly what you said, Laura, you do grow so much 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:16.360 in your twenties, like one hundred percent, I am a 0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.000 different person. Some people are lucky enough to grow together 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.240 and grow in the same direction and on the same path. 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:24.880 For me, this person he was still he still is incredible. 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.360 He's just such a great human. But our paths diverged 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:29.560 and where we were heading and what we wanted from 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:31.560 our life was different, even though we loved each other. 0:13:31.600 --> 0:13:34.240 And that's just something for us. It didn't work young 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:36.480 after eight years, but that doesn't mean it's not for you. 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:38.560 And also the last thing I want to say on 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.960 this as well, is like, sometimes when you are young 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.480 and you're in a good relationship, you don't necessarily value 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.920 how good it is or what you're getting from that person. 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:48.800 Because you because you don't know, You don't know, you 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.959 don't have a point of comparison. You think that you're 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.800 supposed to experience dating lots of people. You think that 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.240 you're supposed to put yourself out there. And look, I 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:59.360 do think that there are so many benefits from meeting 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.280 a variety of people, from dating, from kind of learning 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:03.160 the life lessons. 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:06.200 But if you don't, you don't need to subject. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.800 Yourself to dating shitty people or to like sleeping around 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.120 in order to learn those lessons. If you're already in 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:13.240 a great space and you're already happy, then it just 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:16.760 means you buy. You skipped all the bullshit that so 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:18.680 many of us get to a point that we're trying 0:14:18.720 --> 0:14:19.800 to avoid it one hundred percent. 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:21.600 But again that comes with age. But you do, you 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.240 get married, Congratulations and I hope you live a happy life. 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:28.080 Invite us to the wedding. Okay, Question number two, Hey, 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:31.280 question number two is it's a little bit different. This 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:35.960 has come in from a wife whose husband has literally 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:38.520 asked her to write it in. They're having a disagreement 0:14:38.640 --> 0:14:41.040 in the bedroom and he has said, well, I think 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.520 you need to ask the life uncut girl. So that's 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:46.440 why I think this one's interesting. My husband recently got 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:49.320 fixed up, so he obviously got the chop. Now we 0:14:49.360 --> 0:14:52.120 obviously have a lot of unprotected sex. Wait, when you 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:53.800 see the chop, you make it sound like he had 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:58.480 his bulls cut off. He did, he was cartrated. We 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:01.960 took my husband to get into He obviously got a resection. Me. Yeah, 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.360 he didn't get these balls, he didn't get carcerated. Now 0:15:05.360 --> 0:15:08.560 we obviously have a lot of unprotected sex. After he comes, 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.160 I really want him to go down on me, but 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.960 he flat out refuses to basically lick his own com 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.640 Is this a normal request from me? Does anyone else 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.640 do this? Or is it just a weird, kinky thing 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.240 that I'd like to try. My husband knows how much 0:15:21.280 --> 0:15:22.880 I listen to you guys, and he told me to 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.960 ask you guys. He's dying to hear you tell him 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:28.280 that it's weird. I would just love to hear your thoughts. 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.200 Am I alone in wanting my husband to go down 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:34.880 to me after he's coming me. I just love this 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.600 question so much because there's like so many lights the 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:39.600 semi lays, So my favorite part is the fact that 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.880 the husband's like ask the girls like Laura and Brittany 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.800 will know what to do. Dear God, I think nothing 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:48.320 is weird, Like, nothing is weird so long as both 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.040 people are accepting of it for starters, right, Like if 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:53.200 he was all down for it, then it wouldn't be weird. 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.760 Clearly it's weird to him, and that's also okay. I 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.720 do find it pretty interesting when a guy wants you 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:04.200 to go down on him but is absolutely adverse to ever, 0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:07.160 like he's not okay with his own jiz. Do you 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:07.520 know what I mean? 0:16:07.520 --> 0:16:10.160 Like, there's so many guys who don't want to go 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.800 down on you afterwards, or they don't want to like 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:13.000 even get it near them. 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.200 Because their penis has already been there, but they're like 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:16.880 quite happy for you to put it in your mouth. 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.200 It's like, dude, if it's not okay for your mouth, 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.600 it shouldn't be okay for mine. That's like this is 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:23.960 a benchmark. What's good enough for you is good enough 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:25.680 for me. I do think there is a different level 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:31.080 of expectations there. But also, I mean, it's not like 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:32.880 you're drinking. You're not asking him to drink a cup 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:36.080 of it. You're not like, here, have a go. I 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:37.800 think it would be nice if he would give it 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:41.560 a try. But I also very strongly think that if 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:44.040 someone's against something in the bedroom, you can't force them 0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:45.920 to do it. And if there's something about this that 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:49.720 he's uncomfortable with, and he's explained why he's uncomfortable, then 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:51.760 I kind of think you have to be accepting of that. 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:55.640 I don't think that you can really like coerce or 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.760 guilt your partner into going down on you. Yeah, I think. 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:00.880 And the thing is not even that you're trying to 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:02.680 guilty me into going down And I don't think that's 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:04.760 his problem. It doesn't sound like that's his problem. The 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:06.720 problem is that you want him to do it when 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:10.720 he's just ejaculated inside of you and it's still there. 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:13.560 Everything Laura said is right. We talk about this all 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.359