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Speaker 1: It's a special Will and Woody podcast mini.

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Speaker 2: Men Trying and Failing to be Romantic. I think it's

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Speaker 2: one of my favorite topics in the world. Thirteen one

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Speaker 2: oh six fives oud number. If you have a story

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Speaker 2: around this, please give us a call.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're a bit of a poster boy for.

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Speaker 2: This, trying to be romantic and failing. Oh beg to different.

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Speaker 2: My friends, they've got a young casanovosit in this side you.

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Speaker 1: There was a date.

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Speaker 3: There was a date with an ex girlfriend of yours

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Speaker 3: a long, long time ago where you're trying to take

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Speaker 3: on a rowing boat and you smacked her in the

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Speaker 3: head with the ore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, true story. I caught a crab, which sorry, that's

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Speaker 2: a that's a rowing term where you get I don't

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Speaker 2: know what happens, but effectively you're all just the water.

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Speaker 1: Grabs it, trying to pull it out. And anyway, I

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Speaker 1: got it out and hit her in the face.

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Speaker 2: How to follow through and I didn't hear. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I hit it quite hard, and yeah we broke up

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Speaker 2: for well a number of reasons. But that's that's not

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Speaker 2: why we're talking about men trying to failing to be romantic.

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Speaker 2: We're talking about it because Jamie Oliver shared a great

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Speaker 2: story from his life where he attempted to be romantic

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Speaker 2: with a previous partner and g whiz did it go

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Speaker 2: balls up?

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Speaker 4: And I thought the coolest thing to do. I was

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Speaker 4: the naked chef, so I'd serve it naked. Literally, the

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Speaker 4: only thing I was wearing was a bow on the

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Speaker 4: end of it. So then I opened the oven. Shot

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Speaker 4: of steam attacked my penis and it was a kind

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Speaker 4: of hard pain to explain because it was the worst

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Speaker 4: pain in the world. Yet what happened was one of

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Speaker 4: the most beautiful things I ever saw.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean because it because it swelled up?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mate, what's your problem?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 1: Do you want me to let me pust shot a

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Speaker 1: steam on your penis what happens.

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Speaker 2: We'll do that when when he can travel again. But

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Speaker 2: now that I think about it more, yeah, I am

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Speaker 2: a copper of this. I once tried to be this

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Speaker 2: again former partner. I think it was actually the same, same,

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Speaker 2: same woman who I accidentally hit with the ore. But

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Speaker 2: I I was at a service station and I saw

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Speaker 2: glowing the dark lube and I was like, oh again,

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Speaker 2: this isn't a crash story. Don't worry. But I saw

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Speaker 2: that and I was like, gee, this is pretty exciting.

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Speaker 2: So I bought the store out of Glowing the Dark Loube,

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Speaker 2: and I thought it'd be really romantic, really special if

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Speaker 2: I covered myself in the glow.

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Speaker 3: In what way is that romantic and special?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 3: How is that romantic?

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Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say, I'm an angel sent

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Speaker 2: from heaven to I'm an angel, I'm glowing, blowing, I'm

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Speaker 2: a angel send from heaven, and I'm here to take

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Speaker 2: you to Heaven, like take my hand. Oh you know.

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Speaker 2: I was on a workshop. But the reason I didn't

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Speaker 2: workshop it is because when I got home and I

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Speaker 2: covered myself in this stuff, I did it with lights on.

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Speaker 2: So I'm head to toe covered in lube. And then

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Speaker 2: I turned turned the lights off, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: what the bloody hell's going on, I'm not glowing in

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Speaker 2: the dark at all. Anyway, Then I picked up a

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Speaker 2: bottle of lube and it said the tube glows in

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Speaker 2: the dark, not the loop.

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Speaker 3: And you were just standing there looking like an elephant

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Speaker 3: sneezed on you, and there's a yeah, yeah, yeah, glowing

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Speaker 3: thing in the corner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: That was my attempt of trying to be romantic and failing.

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Speaker 2: But again third, sure.

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Speaker 1: If you need to hear this more, but what no one,

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Speaker 1: you're an idiot?

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, yeah, definitely definitely, But I have a criminel.

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Speaker 5: So you've also got your headphones wound up, the cabling.

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Speaker 1: From your headphones.

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Speaker 2: I'm in a bloody tangle of bloody corner over here.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, someone else, get around me.

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Speaker 2: I can't be you only more on in Australia thirteen

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Speaker 2: one O six five. Has your man tried and failed

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Speaker 2: to be romantic? Or if you like me, confess making confession? Boys,

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Speaker 2: when did you try and fail to romantic?

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Speaker 1: Take him out? Next time?

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Speaker 2: Talking about men trialing, sorry, trying and failing to be romantic.

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Speaker 2: That's because we had Jamie Oliver on the show yesterday

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Speaker 2: and he talked about the time that he got nude

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Speaker 2: and wrapped his Johnson in a bow for a girl

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Speaker 2: that was coming over. But unfortunately the beast that he

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Speaker 2: was cooking in the oven blew a laser like a

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Speaker 2: stream of steam onto his to his penis and it

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Speaker 2: ended up being a shocking night.

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Speaker 3: Do you hear that story a week ago and you

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Speaker 3: still find it very funny?

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Speaker 1: It's a great story. It's a phenomenal story.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, taking your calls now we've got Mark here

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Speaker 2: on thirteen one oh sixty five. Mark, you tried to

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Speaker 2: be romantic and failed.

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Speaker 6: Hi, guys loved into your show.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Matt.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that, Mark, Thanks very much.

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Speaker 6: All cool. When I was twenty one, I was living

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Speaker 6: back home in England. I decided to take my then

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Speaker 6: girlfriend on a romantic weekend a way to Parish, all

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Speaker 6: expenses paid. Oh nice, got to Paris, got to the hotel.

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Speaker 6: Quickly realized that I had booked a hotel in the

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Speaker 6: red Light district and the hotel was frequented by ladies

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Speaker 6: of the Knights and their clients. We end up spending

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Speaker 6: the whole weekend. They're literally hearing all everything going on

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Speaker 6: the room.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, and Mark, sorry, I can relate here, Mate,

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Speaker 2: I'll get you out of the whole.

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Speaker 1: There is nothing one of these of these people that

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Speaker 1: have tried one of.

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Speaker 2: Them, Mark, and you'll be able to agree with There

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Speaker 2: is nothing less romantic than hearing it going on in

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Speaker 2: other rooms and you're lying there feeling in substantial.

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Speaker 1: Listening to it.

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Speaker 2: And the reason I say that, Mark, is because I

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Speaker 2: similar to you made. You got it cheap, didn't you?

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Speaker 2: Because I felt for the cheaper, the cheap bargain. I

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Speaker 2: accidentally booked a effectively a sex hotel in Japan.

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Speaker 5: But honestly, I think there's a difference between you guys,

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Speaker 5: because Mark, you booked a normal hotel, but it was

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Speaker 5: just frequented by prostitutes. Am I right?

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Speaker 6: Well, I booked a hotel that was quite close to

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Speaker 6: all that close.

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Speaker 5: To it, right, But it wasn't like he's in the room.

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Speaker 5: There wasn't like specific leather.

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Speaker 1: Accoutre monts.

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Speaker 6: Well, let's just saying some of the standship was plastic coated.

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Speaker 1: Wo okay, exactly.

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Speaker 7: You booked in your one in Japan though there was

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Speaker 7: like it wasn't it like the shower floor was like

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Speaker 7: padded Yeah.

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Speaker 8: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Most people paid per hour.

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Speaker 2: And when I when I checked in, and they go

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Speaker 2: seven days.

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Speaker 1: Never had a seven day book before all the stuff

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Speaker 1: came down. Just to see the guy who booked days

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Speaker 1: a marathon? Who was he?

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Speaker 2: Let's go to Jamie here, Jamie, this was your partner

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Speaker 2: who tried to be romantic when you were sixteen.

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Speaker 8: What happened, Well, we went down to the local duck

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Speaker 8: pond and along the jetty my ex partner didn't quite

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Speaker 8: realize the wood on the jetty had started to rot.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 8: And after he's set out the picnic and everything, the

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Speaker 8: wood underneath me had completely snapped off, and I landed

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Speaker 8: in the water.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, he's just unlucky. He's unlucky.

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Speaker 3: Is that the end of the relationship, Jamie.

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Speaker 8: I wouldn't say the end, but it was the last

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Speaker 8: time we went on a date, that's for sure.

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Speaker 5: Sounds like the end to me. You know, what does

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Speaker 5: that even mean?

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Speaker 1: Are we still together? Boys? She only speaks in riddles.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the whole.

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Speaker 3: Wood falling out from under it was a metaphor as well.

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Speaker 3: Never know, we'll have to psychoanalyze that call. In the

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Speaker 3: Posho meeting, Let's go to Damien.

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Speaker 2: Damien, what happened that you tried to be romantic?

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Speaker 8: Oh?

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Speaker 9: Well, no, actually not really. Look at I've done some

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Speaker 9: work for some actually, do you know something? It was

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Speaker 9: an account she installer. Yeah, here we go.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, sorry, Damien, but you're Irish and and you

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Speaker 7: I feel like you're taking us on a tangent.

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Speaker 1: Damian.

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Speaker 9: No, no, no, hang on a minute, Hang on a minute.

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Speaker 9: The customer actually got me back the second time to

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Speaker 9: install a couple of pictures.

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Speaker 1: Do you know Damien Woody, Well, I'm pretty sure this

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Speaker 1: is my man, Damien.

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Speaker 8: Me.

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Speaker 2: He's missing, isn't.

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Speaker 1: Don't try and up, so he's gonna let you down.

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Speaker 1: There's a diamion.

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Speaker 2: You built a shed for me in my backyard, and

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Speaker 2: I brought you back to hang up some pictures.

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Speaker 9: Yeah, and it was it was actually a pleasure to

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Speaker 9: work for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 9: But the thing is, Yeah, when he started talking about Loube,

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Speaker 9: I was thinking, ah, there we go. I actually found

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Speaker 9: something because I had to pull I was actually doing

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Speaker 9: a job in your bedroom. I pulled the bed out

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Speaker 9: from the wall. You wanted a nice picture stuck up

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Speaker 9: over the head of the bed. I pulled out the

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Speaker 9: bed from the wall and pulled a head of the

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Speaker 9: bed over and then hear this bag and what's this?

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Speaker 1: Hit the bag of globe, the whole bag, a whole bag,

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Speaker 1: and then were joking like a double bag. Well not no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: plastic bag.

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Speaker 9: A black bag. So it wasn't even a bag that

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Speaker 9: we were trying to conceal something, because it was like

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Speaker 9: a clear plastic bag, which I can clearly see what

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Speaker 9: was in there. It wasn't like I went looking for

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Speaker 9: you know, I just thought it was was right there?

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Speaker 9: How much and confirmed that. You can confirm that as well,

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Speaker 9: I'm pretty sure.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I can't because Diamion came upstairs because I

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Speaker 2: was upstairs and Damien goes, mate, I was just moving

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Speaker 2: your bed and there's a little bit of stuff there,

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Speaker 2: and then I came downstairs Damien and we just didn't

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Speaker 2: talk about it.

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Speaker 1: I just picked up the bag of loob.

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Speaker 7: Listening when you say a bag of loop like like

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Speaker 7: multiple tubes of lube in a bag or were we

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Speaker 7: just talking about a bag that you've just got, like

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Speaker 7: a bulk purchased lube.

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Speaker 1: And you got it in a SnapLock bag.

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Speaker 2: No, no, it's not like a shopping bag.

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Speaker 1: It was just like a.

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Speaker 2: Damien glub showing back lube and other other other little tricks.

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Speaker 1: But obviously, yeah.

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Speaker 9: Actually that's right. There wasn't just.

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Speaker 5: Think Damien is the over then if a woman ever

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Speaker 5: gets to third basement, they don't think get lucky when

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Speaker 5: he whips out the SnapLock bag.

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Speaker 1: More of the boys on the Full Show podcast.

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Speaker 2: You know you want to