WEBVTT - Surviving an eruption with Kelsey Waghorn 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.880 Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:06.600 were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders 0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.280 past and present, Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:13.160 This episode of the podcast was recorded on Gadigal Land 0:00:13.200 --> 0:00:25.680 of the Orination. Hey guys, and welcome back to another 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:26.800 episode of Life Uncut. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:30.440 I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And last week I gave 0:00:30.560 --> 0:00:33.559 y'all some homework. Indeed I did, and I'm wondering if 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:34.880 anybody actually went and watch it. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.360 Well I did, but I did before you gave me 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:37.800 the homeworks. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:39.199 So I did it a little while ago. Okay, well 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.440 you get a gold star for anybody else. I did 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:44.360 tell you all that we were interviewing Kelsey Waghorn, who 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:47.720 was from a Netflix documentary. It's called The Volcano Rescue 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:51.919 from Fakari and it's all about the White Island volcano 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:54.560 eruption that happened in New Zealand. Now, Kelsey is a 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:58.639 survivor of the volcano eruption and she speaks so openly 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:02.560 and so rawly about her experience, about her recovery, but 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:06.000 not just her physical recovery, also her mental recovery as well. 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.160 It's just not something anyone is ever going to experience. 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:10.800 It must be comprehensible. 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.920 It's so hard to I think that there's so many times, 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:15.639 and we talk about this, but there's so many times 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:17.960 in life that you go through something and you reach 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:19.800 out to a support group. While there's other people that 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:23.240 can help you through that situation. But I think for Kelsey, 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:26.000 there is not a huge group of people that survived 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:29.520 something as traumatic as a volcano eruption, and you know, 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.240 she had a lot of repercussions from that, and we 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:34.080 do get into that. It's a truly humbling story. You 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:36.280 don't have to have seen the documentary to listen to 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:40.040 this episode, but I can guarantee you after this episode, you're. 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.080 Going to want to go back and watch the documentary. 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.240 Before we get into speaking to Kelsey, though, there is 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.600 something else that we wanted to talk about. There has 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:49.800 been a research that has gone into why is it 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.400 that people like to date people who look almost the 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:55.000 same as them. I love to date our siblings. I 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:55.400 love the. 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.840 People that put the funding into this. Somebody has funded 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:01.800 this study. Someone has said we need to know why 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.600 people date people that look like their brother and sister. 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:06.560 I wonder if it was the Instagram siblings all dating. 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:10.760 Probably I just had this thought. 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.920 Now you went away to Hamilton Island, it looked magnificent. 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:18.040 Keisha producer Kisha went away to Melbourne, had an amazing wedding, 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:22.840 amazing time. I don't think I spoke to another human 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:23.880 the whole weekend. 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.480 You had dinner with someone. Last night. I literally was 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.120 messaging you about work and you were like, sorry, I 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:30.440 can't do it now I'm at dinner until Sunday night 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:31.160 at my house. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:33.000 I just had one of those weekends where I was like, 0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:34.919 I'm not gonna speak to any one of these weekend 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:36.320 I actually hung out with my dog. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.560 I actually think that that's great. Every so often, it's 0:02:38.600 --> 0:02:40.959 nice to just go for like an extended period of 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:43.720 time where you're like, I am not speaking to another human. 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:45.919 Oh yeah, I don't say it. Like, have sympathy for me. 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.440 I love shutting down sometimes, Like I love going into 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:51.560 a little hermit box. Like if I were an animal, 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:53.880 I'd probably be a hermit crab, I would think. 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:56.440 But like with a big lush shell, But that's that's 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.960 what happened with like a Gucci shell that has some 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.440 sort of branding on the I would have spent. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.080 My javonchi shell and then I would upgrade you the Guchi. 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.520 In my wildest dreams, I would love that. The only 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.880 person I spoke to you really was the lady from 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:11.880 the store, from the cocoa whip store. So I have 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:13.760 a new addiction, Laura, coco whip. 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:15.799 Have you tried it? It's like, yeah, yeah, I mean 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:17.280 I have. Am I addicted to it? 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:17.400 No? 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.000 Have I tried it? Yes, I'm addicted, like as in 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.280 frozen yogurt, coconut frozen yogurt. 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:26.600 Yeah, it's organic, so it's so healthy. Etce too much 0:03:26.600 --> 0:03:28.720 of a good thing is still too much? I mean 0:03:28.760 --> 0:03:31.120 it's still it's still like ten table suits of sugar, 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.400 I think. But it's across the road from me very conveniently. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.200 It's my new thing that I'm doing every single day. 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:38.920 So you know what I one single day? Well, you 0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:40.720 know last time I had this addiction, because this is 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:41.440 also what I do. 0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.840 I find one thing. I have it every day for 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:45.920 like four months. So it was yes, recently this light 0:03:46.000 --> 0:03:46.760 where Yeah. 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:51.240 Last year it was spinach sausage rolls from the health 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.560 food and porium and it was like, because they're from 0:03:53.560 --> 0:03:55.240 the health food and porium, they're healthy, and I reckon. 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:57.400 She would eat two a day, like she'd come home 0:03:57.400 --> 0:03:59.480 with just two brown paper bags, and then often she 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.560 would buy four of them, two for herself, one for 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:03.920 me and Keisha. I didn't even like them. They were 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:08.080 actually fucking awful every day, every day. Yeah, which was 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:10.440 very generous of you, but it was almost like you 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:12.720 wanted other people to get involved in your addiction to 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:14.520 sausage rolls. And now I feel like we're there with 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.240 the coco Whip, which I'm okay with because I like 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:16.839 cocoa whip. 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:19.160 You will eat the sausage roll, and then I upgraded 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:21.320 upside to eat the meat sausage roll because the thirty 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:22.360 sausage roll wasn't enough. 0:04:22.400 --> 0:04:24.600 Anyway, I've transitioned. I haven't had a sausage roll for 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:24.960 a while. 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:27.839 I weaned myself off them, and they were really surprised. 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:29.200 I went in one day. They were like, just a 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:30.240 sausage roll and I was like. 0:04:30.200 --> 0:04:32.000 No, can't do it anymore, and they were like, what 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:32.680 are you okay? 0:04:32.680 --> 0:04:32.880 Are you? 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.800 Went well, but it's the coca whip now, and that's 0:04:35.800 --> 0:04:37.480 what I'm doing. It's like when you go so hard 0:04:37.520 --> 0:04:39.479 on a song, like you really like a song, and 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.760 then you play it NonStop and then all of a sudden, 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:43.520 one day you just get the itck for that song 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:45.320 and you can't play it again because you've done it 0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:48.120 so many times. But going back to sausage rolls just 0:04:48.160 --> 0:04:48.640 one second. 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:50.320 I don't know why this is what we're talking about, 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.200 but like I'm gonna go with it. Last week we 0:04:52.240 --> 0:04:54.880 did radio out at our you know, the air and studios. 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:57.960 We're out of mccuori Park and every Thursday they load 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.279 up they've got like these what's the brea and the 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:01.560 guy was from The Bachelor. 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:03.440 Garlo's Pies Jackson Garlic. 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.599 Who remember there was that big scene on The Bachelor 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:07.680 and the Bachelotte with Andie Kent where he brought her 0:05:07.720 --> 0:05:08.320 a pie. 0:05:08.080 --> 0:05:09.800 And he took her to the pie shop and she 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:16.640 was a vegan. Well, we have two like of those 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.080 like little hot what are they the little pie ovens. 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.359 There's two pie ovens at the radio station, right and 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.240 every Thursday they load them up with pies and we 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:27.320 can go and we can have a free pie. Anyway. Well, 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:29.200 it's like the highlight of the week and that's what 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:31.200 we used to do, Like last year when we were 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:32.839 doing radio, we'd go and get a pie every week. 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.039 So it was Friday, We've just done our radio show 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.159 and I went and I was like, oh, there's pies 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:38.440 in the oven and I when I got one, I 0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:41.279 was like, Oh, it's a bit cold, but fine. Fucking 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:44.240 bit into it and realized it was yesterday's sausage roll 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.880 that had been sitting in there since the Thursday. And 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:49.040 I was like, had this moment where I was like, 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.200 do I swallow this? You did? Though for sure I 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:54.320 did because I was in the foyer and Daisy was 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.600 sitting Anyway, how we've managed to get onto a long 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:01.000 five minute conversation about sausage rolls is on me. But yeah, 0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.720 that was my experience. Okay, never again. Okay. So how 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:08.280 was Hamilton Island? Hamilton Island was the absolute freaking best. 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:11.160 It was also very hot, very muggy, peak wet season, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.120 but it was beautiful. Now I feel like I'm having 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:17.320 a real Drew Barrymore moment though, because in sorry, what 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:22.039 capacity never been kissed or in that it was Lala's birthday, 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:26.080 Lola's second birthday, and we decided that we were not 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:28.960 going to do presents, so we did no presence for 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:31.880 Lola this year, but we took her. She's too She's 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.640 got no idea it could be a problem when she's eight, 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:35.720 but we took her to Hamilton Island and we had 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.440 like the most beautiful family time together. But it wasn't 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.600 until the Sunday when a lot of our friends and 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:44.440 family were like, oh, it's Lala's Like everyone forgot because 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:46.440 we did include on us because we didn't put on 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:47.440 social media. 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.680 So it's my It was my nephew's birthday on Laala's 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.360 birthday too, so they're born on the same day. 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:54.640 Cue. Did you remember your nephew's birthday? Yes? I did? Okay, Well, 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.159 now next year, it's going to make it so easy 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.720 for you to remember. So here's the question. Do you 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:03.120 think you're setting like a scary precedent for your children's birthdays? 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:05.799 If Lola's second birthday you took it a Hamilton Island, 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:08.920 What does Marley get for her birthday? 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:09.920 And what you do every year? 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:11.400 Now, like I reckon, you've got to wind it back, 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:12.440 go back to the Tonka truck. 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:13.960 I guess the way that we're going to approach this 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:16.720 is kids don't get presents if there's a big holiday 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:18.880 on their birthday, But if there isn't and we're not 0:07:18.920 --> 0:07:22.520 doing anything particularly special, then they can have presents. Will 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:24.720 that come back and bite us in the ass? I 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:26.960 don't know, maybe, but like we're just like, we don't 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:28.640 know what we're doing when it comes to this parenting thing, 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:31.840 and we're absolutely just kind of throwing caution to the 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:32.640 wind and doing our best. 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:34.680 Do you think you'd ever give them a choice and 0:07:34.720 --> 0:07:37.320 say now you can go away for the weekend or 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:39.640 you can have presents, or do you think because you're 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:41.960 gonna want the holiday anyway? You're like, this is what 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:44.040 we're doing. So it was like hack your suit, gay. 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:45.040 The present was for. 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:49.680 Us real, Like when I bought that massage Hot massage kit. 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.080 For my boyfriend at the time for a present, but 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:52.760 I just wanted him to massage me back. It's the 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.720 same thing. Yeah, it is the same thing, Okay, but 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:58.640 something happened on this holiday and I kind of want 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:00.720 I don't even know if I bought your opinion on it, 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:04.160 but it was the most outrageous parenting thing I've ever experienced, 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:07.120 and I was filled with so much fucking rage from 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.840 this that I need to tell you, and I also 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:11.760 like want everybody else to kind of DM me and 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:13.640 tell me what you would have done in this instance. Okay, 0:08:13.680 --> 0:08:16.080 well I can just listen if you don't want my opinion, no, 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.480 I would love your input. Okay. So we went out 0:08:18.480 --> 0:08:20.480 on it. We had amazing day trip, went on a 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:24.440 beautiful boat. It was phenomenal and it was an organized trip. 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:26.560 There were quite a few families on this trip, and 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.600 it was like we're on a boat, zero phone reception. 0:08:30.040 --> 0:08:32.680 But while we were sitting there, Matt and I kept 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:35.880 on getting something air drop to us, like air drop 0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:39.200 after air drop after air drop. And this sounds really dumb, 0:08:39.200 --> 0:08:41.320 but at the time I didn't realize that you could 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:43.880 change your settings and your phone so that you can't 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:46.360 like as in turn air drop receiving off. So I 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.160 was just canceling them. But Matt, thinking it was funny, 0:08:49.320 --> 0:08:51.920 was accepting the air drops right, And there were just 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:55.760 pictures of these kids being silly, sending selfies, like really 0:08:55.800 --> 0:08:58.600 silly stuff, and Matt was like, look, if someone's gonna 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:01.240 send me an air drop, I'm no accept it. Anyway, 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:02.840 this went on the boat where it was two hours 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:05.120 it went on for about half an hour of the boat. 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.599 Right, so some other kid has stolen his parents phone. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.480 Some kid or maybe it's his own phone, who knows. 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:11.400 They're like fourteen year old kids. And there was a 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:13.400 group of fourteen year old kids on the boat, like 0:09:13.440 --> 0:09:15.880 this little group of boys, right, So it wasn't an accident. 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:17.600 I'm picturing a two year old no, no, no no. 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.400 This was like and it was like incessantly sending. You 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:23.200 couldn't open your phone without having an air drop request 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.480 pop up every two seconds, right, And so instantly I 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:28.920 was like, Oh, it's those it's that group of boys, 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:31.360 like they are the culprit, the little turd burgers. And 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:34.720 I definitely made that assumption without like going and checking 0:09:34.760 --> 0:09:36.640 the boat or anything. I was like, it's that group. 0:09:36.720 --> 0:09:40.080 I made that assumption pretty quickly. Anyway, about twenty minutes 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.120 past and I gave my phone to Marley because I'd 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:44.440 loaded up Coco Melon, I loaded up some other like 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:48.360 things for her to watch, and she's watching the preloaded 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:51.760 videos because there was nothing else, Like there was no reception, 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.000 so we couldn't get onto the internet, which is important 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:57.000 to this story. I could see that the air drops 0:09:57.000 --> 0:09:59.120 were still coming through and she was accepting some of 0:09:59.120 --> 0:10:01.440 the air drops, and I kept going back in to 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:03.599 turn it off and to like go back to the 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.160 video that she was watching. And then I saw this 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:07.880 one thing pop up, and it was a video that 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:11.920 was playing. The kids had started to air drop hardcore, 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:15.400 fucking pawn hard core, and I'm like, oh, I just 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:20.640 got goosebumps. It was revolting the porn that they were dropping, right, 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.320 and it had popped up on the screen in front 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.920 of Marley, so she had seen a couple of seconds 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:27.560 of it before I saw what it was, and I 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:30.280 grabbed the phone and I obviously turned it off. But 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.520 Matt and I had had a conversation prior where Matt 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.320 was like, do not go and say anything to their parents, 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:37.200 Like we're on this fucking boat with them, Like, do 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:39.880 not go and say a thing. I'm sorry you. I 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.160 hope you stormed over there. Mate. As soon as I 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.840 saw this pop up, I was like, I am shaking out. 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.680 I was filled with rage. I'm so mad still, and 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:49.680 the more I talk about it, the matter I get. Yeah, 0:10:49.720 --> 0:10:51.840 So I went up to this family. Actually Matt, Matt 0:10:51.880 --> 0:10:53.800 did it first. I made him because I was so 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:56.880 enraged that Matt was like, okay, I'll go. So he 0:10:56.960 --> 0:10:58.520 went up and spoke to the parents. He spoke to 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:00.559 the two dads first, and it was a big groups. 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:01.960 It was a big group of kids and a big 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.120 group of parents, And he went out and spoke up 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:05.439 to two of the dads that was standing off to 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:08.480 the side and just said, hey, your kid's air dropping 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:10.360 some pretty and appropriate stuff to us, like I just 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.800 want to make you aware of this, and they kind 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:14.600 of like laughed it off until Matt showed them one 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.640 of the videos and like the video was I can't 0:11:17.640 --> 0:11:19.400 even I won't even describe it because it was so 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:23.640 unbelievably repulsive, right, I can imagine Matt also being very 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.400 diplomatic and careful at the start. So diplomatic, Yeah, that's 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:31.040 so polite, so like non accusatory. Anyway, Hey, just so 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.200 you know, like my two year olds watching, how got porn? 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:35.960 Because yes, because of your sad so yeah. And also 0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:38.280 this is content that they had to have had on 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:40.800 the phone because there was no internet reception, so it 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.679 wasn't like they were downloading it. It was already there. True anyway, 0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:47.000 so good detective work. They didn't take it seriously. Then 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.440 the mother came over to me because I was like, hey, no, 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.880 this is something you need to address. The mother came 0:11:51.920 --> 0:11:55.360 over to me and then started to accuse me of 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.520 like why did we assume that it was their children? 0:11:57.600 --> 0:11:59.600 Like have you gone around the boat? Have you checked 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.200 that one else? She was like, how do you know 0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:04.920 it's my kids? And I felt the rage go through 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:07.120 the fucking roof. Do you have a mom fight? I 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.360 had a mom fight. She was defending her fourteen year 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.280 old boys, and I was like, you need to reprimand 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:14.400 your children for just sending my three year old hardcore 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:15.439 porn or go up. 0:12:15.400 --> 0:12:17.199 And just say, can I please look at your phone? 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.319 So anyway, she ended up taking the phone. Well, the 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:20.920 dad did and he went through the phone and he 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:22.760 came up to us about fifteen minutes later, and he 0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:25.040 was like really casual about it. He was like, hey, 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:27.680 so sorry about that. Uh yeah, look one of the 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:29.560 videos was on my son's phone, so I guess it 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:35.160 was them. Haha. Teenagers? Hey, and I cannot accept that 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.920 this is just teenagers? So do you okay? No, okay, 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:41.040 here we go, here we go? Is this just teenagers? 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:41.560 Is that? Like? 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.760 How do you as a parent not know that that's 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:48.240 what your teenager has loaded onto their phone. Nah, I know, 0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:49.720 I know, I get it. 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.040 Yes, I get that this is a thing that teenagers 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.400 would do in terms of they're curious, they're gonna download porn, 0:12:55.440 --> 0:12:57.680 they're gonna watch porn. I get that, But it is 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:00.560 not it just oh, just teenagers. You can't brush that 0:13:00.600 --> 0:13:03.800 off when they are sending that to other people because 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:04.920 they think it's entertaining. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:06.400 Like that is different. 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:08.439 But I think that a fourteen year old, fifteen year 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.280 old is going to be looking at porn. I don't 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:12.160 think you can avoid that. But you can go and 0:13:12.200 --> 0:13:14.839 reprimand your child and say, you know what, I get 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:16.800 you curious, you're gonna look at it. That's fine, but 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.960 you can't go and force that onto someone else, especially 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:21.319 when there's a two year old on the phone. 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:23.920 I think for me, it was the type of porn. 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:27.200 So this pawn was very and like you know, just 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:29.520 very much trigger warning here for anybody who this is 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:31.439 going to be too much for So this pawn was 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.480 very much rape culture porn, and so to me, I'm like, 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:37.360 if your child has that on their phone and you 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.319 don't take that seriously like that is not just boys 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:42.319 will be boys, That is not just old teenagers will 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:46.320 be teenagers. That is absolutely fucking frightening, and it makes 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:48.600 me think like, what are these fourteen year old boys 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.400 thinking about women, thinking about how women want to enjoy 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:54.440 sexual experiences? How do they respect women or girls their 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:56.439 own age? There was so much more loaded into this 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.559 fifteen minute encounter that for me, as a parent of 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:02.680 really young children who I know will become teenagers one day, 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.480 was really frightening. That is different. That changes things. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:10.120 If it's not just like this is curiosity. No, if 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:11.840 it's not just like I don't want to say standard sex. 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:13.440 But if it if. 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:15.400 It's not just that it's missionary, I don't want to 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.760 hear about it. I mean, missionary is one thing. 0:14:17.800 --> 0:14:19.640 But no, when you're add in that it's a rape 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.440 culture style porn, I mean that of course that changes things. 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:24.600 And they're standing there and they think it's funny. We 0:14:24.640 --> 0:14:26.400 don't know that they think the rape culture is funny. 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:28.760 We know they think sending porn and making someone uncomfortable 0:14:28.840 --> 0:14:31.600 is funny. But the fact that at fourteen, when you 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.400 were so impressionable, and that is what you are learning, 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.680 and that is when you're developing your interests and what 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:38.680 you think is okay, the way you respect people, the 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.080 way you navigate that life. If that is what they're 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:45.400 choosing to watch over anything else, extremely problematic. Yes, that 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.120 is something the parents need to talk about. And I 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:51.040 think that you, in this case were completely in the right. 0:14:51.240 --> 0:14:53.880 These parents were obviously completely in the wrong. And if 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:57.120 they if they parents laugh this off, it's an indication 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.520 of why the kids think that this is okay. Like, 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.560 learn from your surroundings and like the five people you're 0:15:02.560 --> 0:15:05.000 closest to. So if your parents who you're learning from, 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.040 think that this is okay, I don't know what the 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:07.680 kid's gonna hap. 0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:09.280 I mean, maybe they didn't think okay. Maybe it was 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:11.280 one of those situations where it's like they want to 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.560 have a nice day with their kids. They've they've taken 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.320 them out on this experience, and it's like to reprimand 0:15:16.400 --> 0:15:18.680 them would just mean that everyone has a terrible time. 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.320 So it's kind of like, well, like, look, it's unfortunate, 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:23.000 let's put it off to the side. But I don't know. 0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:24.720 There was a part of me that felt even more 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:26.920 frustrated that they hadn't taken it more seriously, that was 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.720 my okay, that was like something that happened on the weekend. 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.720 The trip was literally a trip of a lifetime. It 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:35.640 was phenomenal. But that was just such a parenting moment 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:37.480 where I was like, Wow, there's a right way in 0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:38.920 a wrong way, and I feel like this was handled 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:39.360 so badly. 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.760 I am just picturing what my dad like. They call 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.040 him big tones, big Tony. I call him for a reason. 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:46.920 He's a big boy Papa hockey hockey. 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.200 Sometimes he's just more oh my god, my dad's the best. 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.080 But he would gone off someon would have been overboard 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.120 like that, that would not have flown. 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.120 Well. No, look Matt very much. He stood up to 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:58.480 the plate after it kind of escalated, But it was 0:15:58.520 --> 0:16:01.680 more so just I know it's human nature and parenting 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.880 nature to want to defend your children, like you never 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:06.000 want to think the worst of them, but like, it 0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:09.120 was such an unusual experience. I never ever thought I 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:11.440 would be in that situation, And I don't know how 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:13.320 I would have responded if I was on the other side, 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:15.080 but I think I would have responded quite differently. 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.600 I would like to think that these parents were probably 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.440 embarrassed a level of embarrassment. Didn't want to make maybe 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:23.000 a big scene, like you said, and let's all hope 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:24.520 that they went up to the kids. 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:26.040 And we're like, we're gonna deal with this later. 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:29.120