WEBVTT - #88 Braith Anasta On Navigating The Single-Dad Life 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:00.560 Ash. 0:00:00.640 --> 0:00:03.640 Today is a very very good day. 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:07.560 Yes, Matt, we have a bonus episode and today's bonus 0:00:07.600 --> 0:00:11.360 episode is with former NRL player and Fox commentator Braith 0:00:11.480 --> 0:00:12.000 a NaSTA. 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:13.880 You can catch him currently. 0:00:13.560 --> 0:00:17.360 Sunday Afternoon Footy along with NRL three sixty all on 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.400 Fox League. 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:22.599 And this story is one that we haven't actually told 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:25.880 on the podcast before because Braith is a single parent. 0:00:26.520 --> 0:00:29.640 Yes, he's very open about the challenges he has navigating 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:34.239 two kids. He shares with two separate relationships. 0:00:33.400 --> 0:00:36.120 His dad to ten year old Aaliyah, and also he 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:40.520 has Gigi who is seven, So amongst that plus work, 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:42.560 he is juggling a hell of a lot. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.640 We also want to give your heads up. Braith shares 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:47.760 his experience of losing his father to suicide when he 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:51.159 was just fifteen. It's a deeply moving part of his story. 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.600 Yeah, his father's influence continues to shape how both parents 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:56.920 his own kids today. I do want to say that 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:00.440 whilst we do talk about the topic of suicide, if 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:03.640 you are struggling or you need any help, please reach 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:07.280 out to Lifeline on one three eleven one four. They 0:01:07.319 --> 0:01:09.240 are open twenty four hours. We'll also put some more 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:10.520 details in the show notes. 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:24.039 Shall we get into it, Let's do it. 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:28.959 Welcome back to three doting dads. 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.520 I'm Maddie, Jay, I'm Ash, and I'm Breath and Asta. 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.160 This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, 0:01:34.400 --> 0:01:34.720 it is. 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:36.320 The bad and the relatable. 0:01:36.360 --> 0:01:39.279 And if you've come wanting any type of advice, don't 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:42.600 do it. Not from us. Well maybe maybe from Braith, 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.199 maybe some unintentional advice. 0:01:45.240 --> 0:01:47.480 We always we always preface the show saying we don't 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:48.880 give advice so we don't get in trouble. 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:51.520 Okay, we have been talking to Breath for a couple 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:55.560 of minutes. Wise Man Wise, Wise Man Ash and I. 0:01:55.600 --> 0:02:00.400 Just sitting here just absorbing the knowledge that experience feeling 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:01.240 out of break right now. 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:02.920 There's these dad hierarchy too. 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.640 It's like the older you kid, okay, the higher up 0:02:05.640 --> 0:02:08.040 you sit on the chain that I'm pretty like that. 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:10.880 I've compared to you guys. I'm six and ten. 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.919 Six and ten, so you're yeah, you're your top of 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:14.440 the food chain. 0:02:15.960 --> 0:02:16.720 I'm looking down at you. 0:02:17.080 --> 0:02:20.799 We've got five year olds and three and two trenches. 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:22.679 You are in the trenches. Yeah. 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:23.520 Does it get easier? 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:26.680 It gets a little easier. 0:02:26.840 --> 0:02:30.560 It depends like I had My youngest wasn't youngest was 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:34.120 a poor sleeper, like debilitating, like just getting sleep. We 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.880 tried everything for it, and that that really is the killer. 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:38.840 The rest I feel like you can deal with. But 0:02:39.360 --> 0:02:41.880 I'm getting to the point now where my tour I'm 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:43.080 worried about the teens. 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:46.440 Two girls. Oh man, you got it. 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.440 Actually, before we get into before we end, if we 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.360 go back to when you were a youngster born in Sydney, 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.839 grew up in Malabar, what was it like back then? 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.519 It was awesome because I lived in Mali, which was 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.720 on a golf course and it was a bit out 0:03:03.720 --> 0:03:05.640 of the rat race of Sydney. 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:06.440 You know, it's not far. 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.160 It's fifteen minutes from here and probably twenty minutes from 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.240 the city, but it was like being in a little 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.520 country town mailerbats. It's built up a bit more now 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:15.960 in the jail actually so next to a long bay jail. 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:22.320 But if they stay inside, the film used to break out. 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.040 But that's another story. 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.920 Yeah, Like there's times where the siren goes off and 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.560 literally it's two hundred made us from Like we're in 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.480 a beautiful place, but you're under made us from the 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:37.520 biggest jailing the country and you see coppers running around 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:39.880 looking for the and we're on a golf course, right, 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:41.600 so you can see the coppers going on the golf 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:43.560 course checking all the cliffs and the trees, and we're 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:45.280 all I'm on the back and we're just. 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:46.360 Like watching it all on fold. 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.360 And we had a little alleyway next to us from 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:50.880 the street to the golf course. One day I saw 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:58.640 a prisoner running down the alley and I'm like, but like, 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.480 didn't want him to see me because I'm thinking, I 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:00.960 don't want. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:05.200 Nothing to do with Witness twelve. And they end up 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:05.640 catching him. 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.080 But did your parents have to say to you, like 0:04:08.200 --> 0:04:09.320 when you hear the siren? 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:17.000 Yeahwhere But after a while it only happened every few years, 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:17.840 but it did happen. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:20.600 Exciting, Yeah, pretty exciting anyway. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.600 Who who introduced it a sport? Was it your brother? 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:25.400 Well, my, my, my mum. 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:27.880 I was I was born in a sporting family really 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:31.080 because my uncle was George Piggins and George he was 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:36.280 played for Australia, was coach president of South City Rabbit 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:42.240 Oz played for Souse. He's the hero really, so it 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.320 was just ingrained me from the second I was born. 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:46.680 I was born with a foot in my hand, and 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.400 then I was I was just tragic sport like it 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:52.359 was rugby league, rugby union, golf, so he grew up 0:04:52.360 --> 0:04:53.760 on a golf course, so I just jumped the back 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:54.280 fence too. 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:54.640 Which is good. 0:04:54.720 --> 0:04:55.719 So was it league league? 0:04:55.720 --> 0:04:56.400 For league? 0:04:56.400 --> 0:05:00.640 First I played just southeast and on there a piney 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:05.040 parking Meliba, and then that was my first love. And 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.560 then played rugby union for Couldie and then round we 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.680 can New South Wales and all that the same sort 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:13.159 of thing. And then yeah, cricket was the same, played 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:16.080 for Eastern Cricket of all trade. 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:17.160 Yeah, a bit of everything. 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:20.599 I got to ask as a youngster, I would have 0:05:20.680 --> 0:05:22.200 loved to play professional sport. 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:23.600 The problem was I. 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.880 Was a bit ship. It doesn't help. 0:05:27.000 --> 0:05:30.240 The best I really do was scrape into like an 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:33.320 a team and that I'd be like, what sport did 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:37.680 you play? I played everything, so cricket, rugby, athletics, Like 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:41.600 I try my hand hoping I would like find one sport. 0:05:41.800 --> 0:05:43.719 Even did the walk. 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.680 You're a power walker, just to be like, maybe that's 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.800 the you should see you should see his power? 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:54.520 Yeah, maybe after the record, we. 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:57.240 Do it. We did it. The cricket. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:58.479 That's what we did, like a day of the. 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:03.120 Were like dressed in full dad gear and were like 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:05.200 he just took off. 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:06.479 He was so fast. 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.400 The blokes would have loved that, right. Yeah. 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:12.479 The problem was I was actually pretty good at it 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:14.520 and I went to States. 0:06:14.160 --> 0:06:19.600 But we went off track. You're actually good, but I. 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.640 Was like, no one, no one wants to. I would 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:24.960 have loved to play rug when you were playing sport. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:28.200 Was it a case of you're very good at anything 0:06:28.279 --> 0:06:29.600 you let your hand to. 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:33.320 I don't want to your horn. Man, this is the time. 0:06:33.839 --> 0:06:36.200 I was very lucky. Like I don't want to sound 0:06:36.240 --> 0:06:39.960 like that. I was like gifted in that way where 0:06:40.279 --> 0:06:41.840 just the handle I start, fuck. 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:49.640 You, it sounds like you're a professional athletic, professional athlete, breath, 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:51.680 you're allowed to tell people that you were gifted. 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:54.480 I was lucky. I was. 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:58.160 I think my parents for that. But yeah, I was 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.000 like I just whatever. I played there for a while, 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.320 I was. I had quite a bit of success, and 0:07:03.000 --> 0:07:04.560 yeah I loved every bit of it. So I was 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:05.360 pretty lucky there. 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:09.800 And your Greek heritage was that something that was celebrated 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:10.440 in the family. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:12.600 Uh, yeah, definitely. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:18.559 My dad was proud Greek, full Greek, and he spoke 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:21.000 fluent Greek. But he was like an I was right, 0:07:21.040 --> 0:07:24.200 but he spoke fluent, very proud of his heritage. He'd 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.480 seen the national anthem often, which is the only thing 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:33.760 I kind of know, give us a little bit. I 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:35.560 can't speak Greek, by the way, that's just from him 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:37.680 singing a dinner that's pretty good. 0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:38.480 What do you sing it? 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:51.280 He a family tradition before we eat kids. He's a 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:54.480 his take. But yeah, so and and I'm still close 0:07:54.520 --> 0:07:57.240 to my Greek family. I didn't get the chance to 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:58.920 go over to Greece much, which is a shame, but 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.960 I have been there, but no, you know, I wish 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:04.280 I got more invested in at a young age and 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:05.360 learned the language. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.000 That's one of my big regrets. And I tell a 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:07.880 lot of kids these days. 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:10.640 If you've got the opportunity your parents speak a certain language, 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:12.960 definitely try and learn it. 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:14.920 Why didn't you want to pick it up? 0:08:15.040 --> 0:08:17.040 You know when you were young sort of. 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:22.960 Growing up in a very Australian suburb and school and 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:24.840 you know it's not really the cool thing to do, 0:08:25.840 --> 0:08:28.560 which is a shame, but at the point at the 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.320 time it's you know, you just want to fit in 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:33.439 and you know, do you want to be cool and 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:35.120 all that sort of thing, which you look back on 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:39.920 as stupid, but I think that was the reason why really. 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.040 Else now I look back on it's one of my 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:42.720 big regrets. 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:44.600 What about when the movie The Wog Boy came? 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:49.079 That was my family was where you guys a fan 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:51.160 of the movie or I loved it jumping in front 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:54.160 of the car and compo planes and that was such 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:56.760 a kid with a big lunch box. You know that 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:02.280 that's so true, but you know, you know, it's it's 0:09:02.320 --> 0:09:02.840 just the culture. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:03.960 Did you get sent to school with? 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:05.280 Like would you lay your lunch out? 0:09:05.320 --> 0:09:11.120 And I wish I did, know because I love them, 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:13.439 I wish I did. Greg food is. 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:17.360 Believable, funny, Like as I get older and I see 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.360 it because there's not a lot of Greek restaurants or 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:24.080 Greek plays, especially on the beaches we've got, and when 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:25.640 you come across the Greek restaurant, you're. 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:28.800 Like going to get the Greg. 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.040 Yeah, not good for the question. 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.560 I think it's that generation. Laura is my wife. 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:37.959 Her background, they're Italian, they're down from in Woollongong And 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:41.079 and he was he worked in the minds her granddad, 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.719 and it was they tried to rub that out of them. 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.920 I think that's probably a part of did she did 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:47.600 she know? Did her dad speak fluent? 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:48.800 Well, he was fluent. 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:50.520 Does she does she speak? 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.320 And she rarely would hear him speaking. But they still 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:56.440 had like a goat in the garden. 0:09:58.120 --> 0:10:01.440 It's funny because my mind dad's side, they're indigenous, but 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:04.120 his dad used to tell everyone that he was Spanish 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:06.520 because he wasn't he They pretend that they. 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:08.960 Went because my grandmother was white. You couldn't be with 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:09.560 a black boy. 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:11.920 It was like, yeah, there was the joke is that 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.920 there's a really strong Spanish community in tari. 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:25.280 Was there a case of there being a good cop 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.080 and bad cop with your parents growing up? 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:28.920 Was the displayer definitely? 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:29.920 Who is scared of d. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:34.160 My my my dad was the good cop and my 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:35.320 mom was a bad cop. 0:10:35.400 --> 0:10:37.120 But my dad was terrifying when. 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:41.120 He actually lost it, when he got like the handprints 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:45.000 I had on my body. It was run in the 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:47.840 bedroom like that was. It took him a lot. But 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:48.679 if he cracked it. 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:53.680 And do you remember what would qualify for a spanking, Ah, yeah, 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:55.200 a brother, older brother. 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:57.400 We used to fight all the time, just when we 0:10:57.800 --> 0:10:59.840 just took it too far. Yeah. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.640 Well, one day actually, because I lived on a golf course, 0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:07.280 I tried to hit a ball from my backyard onto 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:11.960 the green and we had glass panels, and he was 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:13.000 on the phone inside. 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:14.439 I think it was one more human. 0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:17.240 Was your backyard concrete or concrete? 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:20.360 And I've just. 0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:25.400 And I thought, all right, I'm going all right here, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.040 I'm gonna hit the ball in the green my knife 0:11:27.120 --> 0:11:32.920 to straight smash the gall turned around, bolted and copped it. 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.120 I think a window smashing is where it is worth. 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:39.400 A pretty poor error judgment. Hopefully you improved your gold. 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:40.840 I thought I was gifted. 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:48.319 But yeah, as a dad, now any damage to the household, 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.719 yeah yeah, texters. 0:11:52.320 --> 0:11:55.600 And drawing, and you know it's hard to keep them 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:58.200 in line, in at the kids, but yeah it's our 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:02.200 mum was good cop, but she was not bad like 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:03.800 she was great parents. 0:12:04.160 --> 0:12:07.240 But you just keep the day to day discipline, just the. 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:09.920 Day to day which you need. But I was pretty good, 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:11.800 to be honest, I wasn't. I wasn't a bad boy. 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:12.920 I was pretty pretty good. 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:16.360 With how much older is your brother three years are three? 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.199 Was he as good at sport as what you were. 0:12:19.440 --> 0:12:24.000 No, very different to me. Were title opposites. He wasn't. 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:27.000 He was good, like good, but not to that next level. 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.559 But he played rugby league, but he was totally different 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:34.080 than me, like different into different things. He was a surfer, skateboarder, 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:43.440 extreme athlete, snowboarding, totally different, you know. And yeah, we 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:46.480 were total opposites. So it was quite but it happens 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.640 a lot. Even my two girls now are total opposites 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.400 and they're only six and ten. But yeah, but he 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.920 was a big supporter of me and sport and loved 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:55.400 it and I just wasn't. 0:12:55.679 --> 0:12:56.520 It's very different. 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:00.199 So with your sport, you were very gifted. Did your 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.680 parents at all have to try and keep you disciplined 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:05.600 with that or did you just want it from. 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.800 The day I was hungry. 0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:11.520 I was like, my goal, like from a very young 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:13.560 age was to be a professional athlete, and that was it, 0:13:13.720 --> 0:13:17.160 you know. I kind of dedicated myself to it, like 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:21.120 crazy age. But I feel like I sound like a 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.960 winker again. But my biggest challenge there was what one 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:27.520 to focus on because I had reached quite a level 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:31.760 at rugby union league, in cricket and golf, so I 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.520 had to, because you can't do all of them and 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:36.320 get to where you want to get to in the 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:39.079 in the in one. Yeah, so that was probably a 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:39.720 challenge for me. 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.080 But your parents try and steer you in a direction, 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:44.400 siding between golf and league for a while. 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:44.680 Yeah. 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:48.560 My dad he was he wanted me to play rugby, 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.360 but then he was a big fan of the golf 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:53.920 as well. So I gave league up and rugby when 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.880 I was six fifteen sixteen about a year and focused 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.560 on golf and played on you know, played in the 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:03.199 Jack newe And Foundation and played in all the Australian 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:07.280 titles and got plus three and played in the New 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:10.200 South Wales team there for a bit and so. But 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.439 then there was a real sliding doors moment where there 0:14:13.480 --> 0:14:17.959 was a in the Jersey Estuly bore for South Sydney. 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.360 Their fullback got injured, which I wasn't a fullback and 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.160 I was I was a year high me as well, 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:24.880 but the coach called me and said, I want you 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:25.800 to come and play for us. 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:26.920 We need to be guns. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.160 But I played for a while and I went back 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.600 and we won the comp and then I made all 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:36.200 the teams and the rep teams and then that was 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.560 it side with the house and it was over from there. 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:40.560 So that was the defining moment for that. Wow. 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:44.400 Yeah, I have seen you swinging a golf club driving. 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.600 I wasn't completely sober, but we did have driving range 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:50.600 session there and we were average. 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:53.000 I remember taking his swing and I looked over my shoulder. 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:54.840 I saw Braith and he was dry reaching. 0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:59.200 All I wanted was just to look over and get 0:14:59.200 --> 0:14:59.880 a knot of a friend. 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:01.360 I look back at the. 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.160 I started walking instead. 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:09.520 I've played played a cover drive in golf. I don't 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:10.280 know if that's legal. 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:13.560 But when I when I think back to being a 0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:16.320 young teenager around the age where they are, like fifteen sixteen, 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:21.000 there's such formative year. And you have spoken before about 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:25.520 the tragic events of your father passing away. Do you 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:29.640 remember the events that unfolded leading up to when you 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:30.160 found out? 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:34.040 Yeah, it was. It was horrific. So I was close 0:15:34.080 --> 0:15:37.000 with him Dad, and he was a big supporter. I 0:15:37.080 --> 0:15:39.800 had a good upbringing, you know, Mama. As I said before, 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:41.840 Mum and Dad were fantastic. He was successful in his 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:44.640 own right, so he taught me strong values and. 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:46.840 He was a great human being. 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:51.040 Went through a lot of drama himself with business and 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:53.800 with the mate of his and got to a point 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:56.280 where we knew he was struggling, but we just didn't 0:15:56.320 --> 0:16:00.200 know it was as bad as it was. And then 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.760 he just one night he came home from We didn't 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.040 come home from work. He went to work, and me 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:07.040 and Mum and him at that point, because I was 0:16:07.040 --> 0:16:09.240 only fifteen, we kind of gove for dinner on a 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.760 Sunday night and we're waiting for him and waiting for him. 0:16:12.760 --> 0:16:16.400 Didn't come home, so he killed himself, which was it 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:20.800 was just even now, you can't it's hard to process. 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:22.920 Like I deal with it more better now because I've 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:27.160 had a lot of time, but it's it's just something 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:30.280 you can never prepare yourself for as a kid, and 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:34.440 it changed your life forever, even now, and yeah, it's 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:36.360 just such a shock to the system that you just 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:37.960 don't know how to deal with it. He kind of 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.480 in morning for a long time, and you just don't. 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:42.800 It's like it's very surreal when somebody you see them 0:16:42.800 --> 0:16:44.280 one day and they're gone the next and they're just 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.120 their dad, you know, they're you know, they're everything to you. 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:53.640 So that was debilitating, devastating, what's the. 0:16:54.080 --> 0:16:57.400 Rollercoaster of emotions that you go through? Obviously you start 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.920 with that initial shock, but then how does it transcend 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:00.520 following that? 0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:04.960 Yeah, well, I mean your first question, you're thinking why, 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.840 and then you get angry because you left us and 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.320 you left my mum to roller coaster for a number 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.240 of years. But it kind of like, you know, like 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:19.639 I drew inspiration as well. But like from the life, 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.600 you eventually get to a point, and especially I think now, 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:26.679 because it's so it happens a lot more now, and 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.800 you get to know mental health more, and you get 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.600 to experience yourself how tough life can be at times, 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:36.280 with stress and anxiety and having kids and the expectation 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.800 of jobs and relationship breakdowns, all these sort of things 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:43.960 that all of us go through, men and women. As 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.399 you get older, you appreciate the position he may have 0:17:46.480 --> 0:17:48.680 been in more and why he did it. I think 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.639 that was the big thing for me. For a long time. 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:57.160 I was, you know, a bit angry and couldn't understand it. 0:17:57.200 --> 0:18:00.600 But as you get older and you have the yourself 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.000 and you see, you know, can you see other guys 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:03.800 go through it as well? 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:05.600 Like I see it a lot these days. 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:07.000 And stress, stress and pressure. 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:12.440 Yeah, and I get it, and I don't blame him 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.520 for it now, like I appreciate it, and I thank 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:20.159 him for the lessons I learned too, but because I 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.800 would never do it, you know what I mean. And 0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.440 I appreciate every day. But I also what he taught 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:28.920 me as a father to me, I instill in my kids. 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:31.840 But I also know that I'll be a better father 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:34.440 for the experience as well, because it's made me a 0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:35.480 lot stronger as a human. 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:35.719 You know. 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:38.760 Yeah, I think back then, the difference between now and 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:42.280 back then someone who has suffered from some mental health issues. 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:46.359 It's so crazy how powerful it is now that it's 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:50.600 spoken about, and back then it was you know, seen 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:53.840 as though, like it was a bit selfish on him. 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:54.600 Yeah. 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:58.639 Yeah, And like there's there's times for me that I 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:02.159 sit there and think about, thankfully not nowhere near as 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:05.119 much anymore as what if I wasn't around. And the 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.119 thing that pops into my head is the look on 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:13.640 my kid's face. So do you think, do you think 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:17.560 now you know so much about it that you know 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:22.280 you wish that back then that people spoke a bit 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:24.240 more and maybe he'd still be here. 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:28.120