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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello and welcome. Just She's on the Money the podcast

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Speaker 2: and millennials who want financial freedom this new year? Are

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Speaker 2: you excited about that part? Today? My friends, it is Friday.

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Speaker 2: Beck is still broken and it is time to get

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Speaker 2: our team together to celebrate you, our incredible She's on

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Speaker 2: the Money community. Today, mister Grigi is going to be

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Speaker 2: sharing our best money wins and confessions from twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: Miss Beck say ed, have you got some hot broke

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Speaker 2: tips to lead us into a very successful twenty twenty four?

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Speaker 2: I do you've better? No pressure, and we're going to

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Speaker 2: be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this

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Speaker 2: week is all about sorting out your credit history. Good

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Speaker 2: time to do it at the start of the year,

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Speaker 2: I reckon, It's almost like I picked that one out specifically,

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Speaker 2: and we're going to unpack something that you slid into

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Speaker 2: our DMS. About this week, we're talking about birthday gifts

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Speaker 2: in relationships, and I feel like now's the time to

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Speaker 2: talk about presents, given we've just come out of what

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Speaker 2: I would argue is the silliest season of gift giving

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Speaker 2: of all. But before we get there, Happy New Year.

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Speaker 4: Happy New Year, Happy guys.

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Speaker 2: It's fresh, it's fun, it's funky. Jess, how are you.

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Speaker 4: I'm good. I love a new year, New me vibe like.

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Speaker 5: I am a big goal person, so I think it's

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Speaker 5: it's always so good for me. I like every year

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Speaker 5: in January, I redo my budget. I like have a

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Speaker 5: list that I keep in my notes up on my

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Speaker 5: phone of all my goals that I had for theater.

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Speaker 5: So I review what I did in twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 5: do I what am I aiming for in twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 5: So I'm just like I'm feeling very like organized and

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Speaker 5: refreshed and rejuvenated. And I know that you don't need

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Speaker 5: to wait for a new year to do any of

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Speaker 5: that stuff. But I always get a little extra motivation,

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Speaker 5: you know, so I try and grab onto it and

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Speaker 5: like use it to do something productive.

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Speaker 6: Yes, it's good for you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, how about you, guys? Well I'll go first.

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Speaker 2: I am still broken.

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Speaker 6: I almost got my voice back, but partied a little

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Speaker 6: bit too hard.

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Speaker 2: Newsve is so ry here we are, but.

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Speaker 6: No, I feel really good. I also feel so motivated. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: to change things up?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: What are we changing up?

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Speaker 4: Back?

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Speaker 6: Obviously I talk about this a lot, but I am

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Speaker 6: going to go to the gym more now, more than ever,

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Speaker 6: and I'm going to go harder, and I'm gonna go faster.

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Speaker 2: We're going to go faster, but a better faster, stronger,

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Speaker 2: stronger what song I was referencing? But okay, all good?

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Speaker 2: No thinking of.

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Speaker 4: This year, not not ever.

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Speaker 6: He's my Roman empire.

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Speaker 4: Empire right ye?

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Speaker 6: But no, it's been really good and happen to you guys?

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Speaker 6: How about you?

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Speaker 2: The best week ever? I have been polishing of all

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Speaker 2: about your best year yet? Content? Because today it is Friday,

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Speaker 2: the fifth of January, which means the course dropped. It

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Speaker 2: means enrollments are now officially open. We did a whole

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Speaker 2: lead up to pre enrollment, and I feel like last

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Speaker 2: year for me, not for Jest. I do apologize she

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Speaker 2: fluttered her house like three times, just it was not

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Speaker 2: just this year, but this year is just this year.

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Speaker 2: But I had a really productive year last year, and

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Speaker 2: I do think it all comes down to how I

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Speaker 2: set my goals and how I followed that up, and

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Speaker 2: like I had arguably a pretty awful twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 2: or like start of twenty twenty three went through a

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Speaker 2: whole heap of stuff. We won't recap it now. However,

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Speaker 2: I still managed to tick off I would say, ninety

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Speaker 2: nine percent of the goals on my goal list, and

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Speaker 2: I was so proud of it and obviously wanted to

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Speaker 2: do that again this year, but decided to share it

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Speaker 2: with the community. So I'm running your Best Year Yet

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Speaker 2: kind of workshop sessions, which I think will be really

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Speaker 2: exciting because it's not necessarily like finance based. You definitely

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Speaker 2: can apply it to finance, but more about general goal

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Speaker 2: setting and smashing it out of the park and actually

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Speaker 2: setting realistic goals that are for you not necessarily something

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Speaker 2: that you're not going to be able to upkeeping and

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Speaker 2: keep changed. It's also about like actually facilitating that change,

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Speaker 2: because like it's one thing, jess as you know, to

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Speaker 2: set a goal, but it's another thing to actually facilitate it.

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Speaker 2: And it's kind of like all my favorite tools and resources,

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Speaker 2: how to use them or what that actually looks like

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Speaker 2: because as a little ADHD girly, it's not just for

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Speaker 2: people with ADHD. Honestly, I feel like if you had

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Speaker 2: all the tools an ADHD person users, you'd thrive. But

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Speaker 2: it's all the tools to make sure that happens as well,

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Speaker 2: which I'm just honestly super stoked about because it's another

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Speaker 2: opportunity for me to interact with our community, which is

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Speaker 2: my favorite. So it's not too late. We will put

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Speaker 2: all of the information that you need in the show notes.

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Speaker 2: It's a subtle plug, but it's honestly what I'm excited

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Speaker 2: about this week. Guys like love that. I'm just the

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Speaker 2: branding's so cute. The team did a killer job, so yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm just really excited about that. And yeah, just New

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Speaker 2: Year knew us there's going to be a new baby.

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Speaker 6: Amazing.

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Speaker 2: That's very exciting, exciting, so fun. So how about we

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Speaker 2: get into the episode mis just grichy, what money wins

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Speaker 2: and confessions you bring into the table this fresh, fresh year.

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Speaker 5: First one I've got this week is from Maddie, who said,

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Speaker 5: money win thanks to the seven eleven fuel lock, I

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Speaker 5: filled up today and saved almost fifteen dollars.

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Speaker 2: I did that the other day and saved like nineteen.

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Speaker 2: So one I win, but to Eugenius, I love it.

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Speaker 5: Next, I've got one from Murphy, who said, each week

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Speaker 5: in term four, my daughter gets one dollar to buy

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Speaker 5: an icy pole at school. Eventually she told me that

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Speaker 5: she doesn't actually get an icy pole because she can

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Speaker 5: have one at home and she saves her money instead.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't how wholesome.

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Speaker 5: She used a portion of her savings to buy herself

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Speaker 5: and her friends flashing Santa hats for her school disco.

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Speaker 2: I've sat prout, very cute, are iconic. She's like little

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Speaker 2: She's on the money, bubby.

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Speaker 5: I know, I am obsessed with her. Then we've got

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Speaker 5: a win from Kirsten, who said, we did our garden

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Speaker 5: a few months ago and I'm finally starting to see

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Speaker 5: the results. We've saved around fifteen dollars in cucumbers and

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Speaker 5: have so many more and considering I eat them like apples.

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Speaker 5: This is a huge win when they cost three dollars each.

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Speaker 2: A cucumber like an apple.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, crazy, I get that photo for beautiful bad.

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Speaker 2: Then I would want to like dip it in salt. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like a lot of gas or something's no salt.

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Speaker 4: Okay, it's just salt.

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Speaker 6: Make it.

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Speaker 1: Me.

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Speaker 2: I would like to dip it in salt. I feel

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Speaker 2: like that's weird, just as like I'm gonna use it

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Speaker 2: as an actual like crude, Ie.

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Speaker 5: I get that a vehicle for Hummus, a vehicle that's

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Speaker 5: just smarter than everybody at the stable. Next, I gotta

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Speaker 5: win from Sophie who said I ummed an ard about

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Speaker 5: getting this bag in store from Kmart that was marked

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Speaker 5: at twelve dollars and came in my favorite color.

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Speaker 4: I got to the checkout and it scanned at six.

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Speaker 2: No, it didn't.

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Speaker 4: It was the only color that was on sale. Money win.

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Speaker 2: That's so good. I love when you like finally commit

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Speaker 2: to a financial decision. You're like yeah, like I'll do it.

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Speaker 2: I deserve it, and you've like justified that twelve bucks.

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Speaker 2: Then you come up and it's six and you're like,

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Speaker 2: was meant to be? I do deserve this.

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Speaker 5: The universe has your back. Angie said she just paid

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Speaker 5: off her personal loan.

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Speaker 2: Oh congrats, what a time to do it. New year

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Speaker 2: on dred pent so personal loan.

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Speaker 5: She's now focusing on paying off and deleting her Zippay

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Speaker 5: and then she'll officially be consumer debt free.

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Speaker 2: This year is your year, my love, Go Angie go.

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Speaker 5: And then lastly, Montana said, I'm self employed and I

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Speaker 5: had a whopping fourteen hundred dollars in overdue payments that

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Speaker 5: I chased up today. All the clients paid. As I

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Speaker 5: survived without money for the last three weeks. I've decided

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Speaker 5: to pay all of my January bills and pop the

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Speaker 5: rest into savings. A nice little top up there for

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Speaker 5: the savings account.

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Speaker 6: Cool.

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Speaker 2: That is very cool.

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Speaker 5: Self employed struggle, chase up your invoices, don't leave it

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Speaker 5: too long.

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Speaker 6: Yeap.

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Speaker 4: That's everything that I've got this week.

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Speaker 2: You know what I feel like, that's a very good

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Speaker 2: start to the year. Miss jessic Rici, good job, Well

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Speaker 2: down everyone, love the Miss becks I ed, we're back

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Speaker 2: with broke tips. What have you got? Okay?

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Speaker 6: So as usual, I have two from the community, one

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Speaker 6: from myself. First one comes from Sam, who says, cut

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Speaker 6: or tear things into smaller pieces, sponges, magic erasers, the.

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Speaker 4: Magic I love a magic eraser.

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Speaker 6: I love a magic eraser. And this will elongate usage,

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Speaker 6: so it does end up saving your money in the

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Speaker 6: long run. Might be a little bit inconvenient, but honestly,

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Speaker 6: I think it's a great idea, and you don't often

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Speaker 6: need such big pieces, so true for a sponge especially.

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Speaker 2: I love it. What else if you got back?

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Speaker 6: Next one is from Prea hypri is such a pretty name.

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Speaker 6: I love the name Preyer. She says, save veggie scraps

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Speaker 6: and invest time and energy into growing your own fruits

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Speaker 6: and vegetables, just like your money win from before. It

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Speaker 6: ends up saving you so much money. I've gotten eggplants, chili's,

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Speaker 6: all these things from.

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Speaker 2: Kill it. Yeah, so much. It's good for you. Mine

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Speaker 2: will become compost, which is also really good for the environment.

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Speaker 6: So you welcome absolutely. My bro tip is something that

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Speaker 6: I've tried to do. I wasn't smart enough, not smart enough.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't say that, but you didn't know yet. I

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Speaker 2: didn't know yet.

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Speaker 4: There you go, good one.

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Speaker 6: One of my friends does transcribing and surveys, which is

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Speaker 6: also something you mentioned last week. Yes, makes a couple

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Speaker 6: hundred dollars a week.

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Speaker 4: That's so Smart's awesome.

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Speaker 6: So if you have the time, if you have the energy,

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Speaker 6: if you just want to stay at home.

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Speaker 2: And have like a job to do on a laptop

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Speaker 2: while you're on a couch enjoying the air conditioning at

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Speaker 2: this time of year, totally, that's so smart. Another like,

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Speaker 2: I guess tip to add to that, I do apologize

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Speaker 2: back to get into transcribing is like sign up for

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Speaker 2: air task or like fiver, yes, because that's where people

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Speaker 2: advertise those jobs, and if you get good at them

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Speaker 2: and you get quick at them, you can actually make

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Speaker 2: a favorite of bank. Like I've got a girlfriend who

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Speaker 2: does like transcribing, and I didn't know what was the

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Speaker 2: thing because last year Jess and I sat down and

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Speaker 2: we said it would be really great to have a

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Speaker 2: bank of all of our episode transcriptions, which we've obviously

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Speaker 2: never done before but want to make a priority of.

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Speaker 2: But it's really hard because there are like five hundred

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Speaker 2: plus episodes of Sheese on the Money, and we're like,

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Speaker 2: all right, what we'll do is find some AI tool

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Speaker 2: where you plug in the audio and spit out, you know,

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Speaker 2: the transcription. It doesn't work that well, it's not that accurate,

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Speaker 2: and when it comes to finance, it needs to be accurate.

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Speaker 2: Back like, there's no option. So we've been slowly tracking

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Speaker 2: through manually getting it done. And I won't call it

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Speaker 2: expensive because people are getting paid what they work. But

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Speaker 2: when it's five hundred episodes, that has really added up

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Speaker 2: for us, no complaints, really important to us. But at

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Speaker 2: the same time, you could be the person making bank

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Speaker 2: in that circumstance, you know, like transcribing podcasts, transcribing people's

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Speaker 2: voice notes, transcribing literally anything.

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Speaker 4: Ye meeting notes or something meeting notes.

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Speaker 6: And the same time, genius, I could be transcribing while

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Speaker 6: we talk today to save me sometime. Does that makes

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Speaker 6: sense because you're saying I could be.

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Speaker 2: Transit Yeah, you could, but you dood all too much

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Speaker 2: on your papers, So I really don't think that I

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Speaker 2: would trust your Transcriptionspeck. As much as I love you, like,

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Speaker 2: there are too many flowers and love hearts and like

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Speaker 2: squiggles and stuff on your page for me to think, Wow,

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Speaker 2: Beck's really been paying a lot of attention to the

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Speaker 2: comments that just and I make.

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Speaker 6: Mes really been paying attention to. I've been writing all

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Speaker 6: of that down all right.

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Speaker 2: Now, she's transcribing so much money. Just on transcribing this episode, adore,

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Speaker 2: good work back. Let's go to a really quick break

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Speaker 2: on the flip side. We're gonna be talking about sorting

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Speaker 2: out your credit card history, which I think is genius

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Speaker 2: at this point in the year. Get it done early.

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Speaker 2: Let's start a plan. And then we're gonna be talking

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Speaker 2: about something you slid into our dams about and it's

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Speaker 2: birthday gifts in relationships and I have always struggled with

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Speaker 2: this one, so guys, don't go anywhere.

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Speaker 4: Welcome back, everybody. Let's take a listen to the very

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Speaker 4: first money dilemma of twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: Hi, there have you got a money dilemma you just

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Speaker 2: can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here

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Speaker 2: to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big

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Speaker 2: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and

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Speaker 2: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website

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Speaker 2: and leave us a short voice recording and you might

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Speaker 2: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a

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Speaker 2: listen to this Week's money dilemma.

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Speaker 7: Ladies, I need your help. I have completely ruined my

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Speaker 7: credit history. I got sick earlier in the year and

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Speaker 7: I didn't stay on top of my loan payments for

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Speaker 7: a personal loan. The personal loan is now six months

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Speaker 7: in arrears, and my car loan is currently two thousand

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Speaker 7: dollars in arrears. The personal loan is the more serious one,

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Speaker 7: but my credit score has dropped from seven fifty to

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Speaker 7: two hundred from doing this. We're currently paying over eight

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Speaker 7: hundred dollars per week in arrears fees alone. What would

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Speaker 7: your recommendation be As we're trying to buy our first

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Speaker 7: home again, We're trying to get ourselves out of this rut.

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Speaker 2: My partner has fantastic credit history.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: Oh, this is a sticky one, but it also just

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Speaker 2: goes to show how quickly things can change. Yeah, she

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Speaker 2: went from being absolutely fine, having a good credit history,

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Speaker 2: probably having very good health, and completely backwards from getting sick.

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Speaker 2: And I just really empathize with that situation, because no

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Speaker 2: one goes into personal debt to go you know what,

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna get this debt, Jess, and the I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to pay it off. That's such a good idea, Like,

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Speaker 2: no one does that. No one goes and gets a

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Speaker 2: loan that they think is just more than they can swallow,

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Speaker 2: Like we will justify it and say, oh no, that's fine,

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Speaker 2: like I'm going to get that loan for that not

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Speaker 2: paid off, or I'll get that car and you know

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Speaker 2: it'll only be X per month. And this is where

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Speaker 2: it's just so important to avoid personal debt honestly at

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Speaker 2: all costs, because we never know when the world is

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Speaker 2: going to change. The first thing I would do, honestly

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Speaker 2: in your circumstance is call up our friends at the

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Speaker 2: National Debt Helpline. They are amazing, will put all of

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Speaker 2: the information into the show notes. They are open week

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Speaker 2: days from nine thirty to four thirty pm. It is free.

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Speaker 2: You can also jump on their website to talk to them,

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Speaker 2: so if you don't want to like pick up the phone,

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Speaker 2: it's not less confrontational to do a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a live chat. But fixing your credit score is going

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Speaker 2: to be one essential to get you into that house

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Speaker 2: you want to purchase, and that's really exciting. However, I

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Speaker 2: would actually put the goal of purchasing a home completely

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Speaker 2: on hold until you've sorted out your personal debt. Because

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Speaker 2: I don't know a bank, and I'm trying to be

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Speaker 2: as kind as possible with delivering this. I own a

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Speaker 2: mortgage broken company. I don't know a bank who would

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Speaker 2: lend a mortgage amount of money to someone with a

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Speaker 2: credit score of two hundred. It doesn't matter too much

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Speaker 2: if your partners involved, like they're gonna, I guess, view

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Speaker 2: you individually, but you being part of that is going

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Speaker 2: to significantly increase the risk on their behalf. But also

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Speaker 2: it's going to decrease your borrowing capacity significantly as well.

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Speaker 2: So obviously the best way to improve your credit score

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Speaker 2: is to just adopt healthy financial habits. Chat to the

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Speaker 2: guys at the National Debt Helpline. That's not me trying

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Speaker 2: to do get out of jail free card of answering

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Speaker 2: this question. Don't worry. It's more they are incredibly helpful

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Speaker 2: and have so many tools and resources for you to

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Speaker 2: lean on. The Next thing I think about is negotiating. So,

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Speaker 2: like you are obviously paying so many fees in arrears,

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Speaker 2: pick up the phone, call your banking institution or whoever

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Speaker 2: your loan is from, and say, hey, guys, I'm really struggling.

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Speaker 2: You're just piling on the arears like fees. What can

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Speaker 2: we do about this so that we can both get ahead.

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Speaker 2: I want to get out of debt. I want to

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Speaker 2: pay you back, but right now you're making it incredibly hard.

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Speaker 2: Have a good logical conversation about what they can do,

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Speaker 2: and they might default. And I've seen it before and go,

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Speaker 2: you know what, if you're in debt and you're so

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Speaker 2: passionate about paying it off, let's just wipe the erears fees.

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Speaker 2: We're going to go back to what it was before.

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Speaker 2: We're going to get you to pay back your original

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Speaker 2: amount each and every single month, but we will be

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Speaker 2: reinstating the fees if you mess up again. And it

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Speaker 2: would just be worth having those conversations. So don't forget that.

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Speaker 2: Even when it's a personal loan, you can negotiate, you

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Speaker 2: can pick up the phone, you can have a conversation

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Speaker 2: with them. But I would really be putting I guess

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Speaker 2: your foot out there and going all right, I do

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Speaker 2: need to get on top of this. But I'd also

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Speaker 2: be putting that home buying goal maybe at the back

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Speaker 2: of the mind until all of this personal debt stuff

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Speaker 2: is sorted out, because there's no way I want you

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Speaker 2: to take on a mortgage if right now your financial

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Speaker 2: habits aren't in tiptop shape. What do you guys, reckon?

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Speaker 6: I obviously don't have advice on how to get out

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Speaker 6: of this situation, but I just wanted to say I've

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Speaker 6: been here before, and it's so anxiety inducing. It is.

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Speaker 2: It's really awful. Hey.

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Speaker 6: My only bit of advice is to try not to

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Speaker 6: mentally give up because it can be so consuming and

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Speaker 6: you might just be anxious every single day, every weeking second,

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Speaker 6: but just know you can get out of it and

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Speaker 6: everything will be okay on the other side.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I also think it's adding to that back. We

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Speaker 2: need to remember that being in debt does not make

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Speaker 2: you a bad person. Your financial decisions and your financial

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Speaker 2: circumstances do not define what makes a good or a

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Speaker 2: bad human being. Your kindness, your empathy, your thoughtfulness, how

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Speaker 2: you treat others, that's what defines you as a human being,

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Speaker 2: not your personal finances. I have never in my life

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Speaker 2: met someone who's like, oh, I wouldn't want to be

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Speaker 2: friends with them because they're in debt, or I wouldn't

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Speaker 2: want to be friends with them because they don't earn

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Speaker 2: enough money. If anyone ever says that, that's the best

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Speaker 2: red flag to be like, you don't want to be

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Speaker 2: friends with them anyway, Like, ill no, get away from me.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely not. So I think just remembering that this does

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Speaker 2: not define you. It's something you're going through as well,

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Speaker 2: not something being done to you, is a really good

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Speaker 2: way of redefining going far out, I've got to get

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Speaker 2: through this. This isn't happening to you because you're a

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Speaker 2: bad person. This isn't happening to you. It's happening as

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Speaker 2: a part of your journey. And that's okay. It's really

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Speaker 2: dire and it feels bloody terrible, doesn't it. Beck, Because

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Speaker 2: someone who's been in significant personal financial debt, I think

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Speaker 2: we all have. Like Jess, you had a credit card

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Speaker 2: you've mentioned on the show before. Beck, you've literally gone bankrupt.

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Speaker 2: I had a massive personal loan. You don't sleep, you

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Speaker 2: don't eat properly, you get stressed, take it out on

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Speaker 2: everybody around you. Like I think you need to give

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Speaker 2: yourself a little bit more grace. And that's also one

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Speaker 2: of the reasons why I'm like, let's just take the

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Speaker 2: foot of the pedal when it comes to that property goal,

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Speaker 2: because you're going to be really disappointed really quickly if

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Speaker 2: you don't get on top of the personal stuff for sure.

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Speaker 2: All right, let's now unpack something you slid into our

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Speaker 2: DMS about this week. We're talking about birthday gifts in

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Speaker 2: a relationship. Here's the DM. I got high. She's on

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Speaker 2: the money. So I've been with my partner for two

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Speaker 2: years now. Both of our birthdays are in June. But

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Speaker 2: this year my partner didn't give me a present. I

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Speaker 2: kept thinking he'll surprise me with a gift, but the

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Speaker 2: day came and went with nothing. Before our birthdays this year,

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Speaker 2: I mentioned money was pretty tight and maybe we should

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Speaker 2: loller how much we spend on each other. He was

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Speaker 2: upset by this and made a comment along the lines

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Speaker 2: of you won't be able to get me anything I

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Speaker 2: want with such little money, so don't bother. It turned

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Speaker 2: into an argument and I ended up dropping it. Maybe

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Speaker 2: that was his way of saying we aren't doing presents,

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Speaker 2: but it certainly was not clear. He didn't even get

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Speaker 2: me a card or flowers. Is he doing this out

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Speaker 2: of spite for me not being able to get him

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Speaker 2: something expensive? He made me feel so sad by saying

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Speaker 2: I couldn't afford to buy him something he wanted. Am

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Speaker 2: I wrong for feeling so upset at this? How would

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Speaker 2: you guys address this conversation?

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Speaker 4: I hate it. God, that's crazy.

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming your birthdays before his birthday as well.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, by the way that's going, it sounds like your

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Speaker 2: birthday's first, and then his birthdays after. You're waiting for

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Speaker 2: a gift, and now.

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Speaker 4: You don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: I would not be getting him anything. I would actually,

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Speaker 2: you know what I would Actually, I'd give him his

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Speaker 2: freedom back. I'd be like, oh, you have shown me

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Speaker 2: that what you need to be as single. Here go, babe,

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Speaker 2: you are welcome.

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Speaker 4: Gifting is such a personal thing.

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Speaker 5: I feel like this is similar to the Christmas one

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Speaker 5: we had a few weeks ago, in that the concept

436
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:57,280
Speaker 5: is not inherently bad, but the delivery is atrocious because

437
00:20:57,359 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 5: not giving each other gifts. I mean, I can't imagine

438
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 5: a single person who didn't have something that they would

439
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 5: enjoy for under one hundred dollars, like your favorite chocolate

440
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 5: bar or your favorite coffee, or there are plenty of

441
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 5: things I'm sure that he would like that are under

442
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 5: one hundred.

443
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 2: Bring me tea and toast in bed. Yeah, we already

444
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,200
Speaker 2: have the toast in the fridge and it's duht milk

445
00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 2: from the pantry.

446
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,360
Speaker 4: You can give me a massage every week for the next.

447
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: I don't even care what it is. It's the thought

448
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 2: that counts as being thought of on your birthday. If

449
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 2: that's something you celebrate.

450
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,879
Speaker 5: Correct, Like if you don't want to do gifts, that

451
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 5: is fine, but that is something that one needs to

452
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 5: be clearly articulated, and two needs to be articulated kindly,

453
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,359
Speaker 5: not in the way that he has spoken to her,

454
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 5: which is quite frankly, just so disrespectful.

455
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 2: It's disrespectful. But also imagine saying to someone you won't

456
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 2: be able to get me anything I want with such

457
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,679
Speaker 2: little money, so don't bother. Yeah I hate that.

458
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's really demeaning.

459
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,880
Speaker 6: I am so sad that I can't talk much because

460
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 6: I have so much to say about this.

461
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 4: But all I'm going to say, leave him.

462
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 5: I love it.

463
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 2: I will advocate for that too, beck As I said,

464
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 2: I'll give you the gift of your freedom back. Have it.

465
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,320
Speaker 2: You can be single.

466
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 4: You are welcome.

467
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:09,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh absolutely not. Like, no, you know what I

468
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:12,919
Speaker 2: can't afford I can't afford you, mate, I can't afford

469
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 2: to be wasting any more time with you.

470
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is awful.

471
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 2: Is it bad that I'm so cut and dry? No,

472
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 2: it's not. If your standard's high.

473
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 5: There's no gray here. I don't think like it's all

474
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:26,400
Speaker 5: it's terrible delivery.

475
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 2: I think it's audacity. I also think it is so

476
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 2: fine to say, hey, this year's been pretty tough, like,

477
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,719
Speaker 2: let's cut back our present budget to each other, at

478
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: which point, as a supportive partner, you'd go, yeah, absolutely,

479
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 2: that's fine. You don't even need to have shared finances

480
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 2: to be having these conversations. It's more like, why would

481
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 2: you want to put that pressure on your partner anyway?

482
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 2: Like why would you want your partner to be stressing

483
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,840
Speaker 2: about your birth date? That would make me feel like

484
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 2: if my husband bought me a present. I mean, we

485
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: share finances, but let's pretend we're still dating. If my

486
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: husband had brought me a present while we were dating,

487
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 2: that I assumed put him significantly out. I would feel

488
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: worse than having not got anything.

489
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:08,440
Speaker 4: Yeah.

490
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't want to present, Like, I really

491
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,679
Speaker 2: don't want to present if you can't afford it to me.

492
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,639
Speaker 2: It's the thought that counts, and yes, could you just

493
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 2: like maybe make me a cup of tea and tell

494
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 2: me that you'll give me a foot massage without any

495
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 2: complaints for at least ten minutes. Yeah, like that would

496
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 2: be good.

497
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 5: Him going out of his way to make her feel

498
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 5: guilty shows that he doesn't really care about her feelings.

499
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 2: And it also feels this is me just getting a

500
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 2: little bit deeper into it, I suppose, But like, that's

501
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 2: such a savage comment to make that I'm assuming it's

502
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 2: not the only types of these comments that he's making. Yes,

503
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 2: that's an awful one and it's worth discussing. But I

504
00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:47,119
Speaker 2: feel like either it's a complete twist of personality and

505
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,199
Speaker 2: out of the blue, he's said this random thing and

506
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,560
Speaker 2: this is very strange and we need to talk about it,

507
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 2: or like this is just how your partner is and

508
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 2: maybe you haven't seen it yeah yet, because we always

509
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 2: put some blinkers on and see the best in everybody,

510
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 2: especially partner, especially when you've only been together for two years,

511
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: like you're still in that little love bubble. I just

512
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: don't think anybody should be treated like trash and expected

513
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:09,160
Speaker 2: to put up with it.

514
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 4: No at what did everybody else say so.

515
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 2: We asked the community. First thing, we said, would you

516
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 2: be upset if your partner didn't buy your birthday present?

517
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 2: This one surprised me. Eighty three percent of you said.

518
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, I get that, I get it.

519
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 2: I totally get it. I would be upset if my

520
00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 2: partner didn't buy me a birthday present if we hadn't

521
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 2: discussed it beforehand, because we've already for the last eight

522
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,160
Speaker 2: plus years, set the expectation that we gift each other things.

523
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 2: If it was discussed, no problem. The next question we

524
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 2: asked was, if this was you, would you take the

525
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,720
Speaker 2: comment of don't bother to mean let's not do presents.

526
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,280
Speaker 2: Sixteen percent of you said yeah, that feels clear. But

527
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: that's only sixteen percent of you. Eighty four percent of

528
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: you said no, it was just a passing comment. He

529
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,600
Speaker 2: said in a fight. Agree. The next question we asked

530
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 2: was do you think it sounds like the partner did

531
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 2: this out of spite? Seventy seven percent of you said

532
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,360
Speaker 2: sadly yes, Twenty three percent of you said no communication,

533
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: he was just bad. We then asked, how do you

534
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 2: think that this person should address this conversation with their partner?

535
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:18,240
Speaker 2: So I love the comment section because just people are

536
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: as savage as I am.

537
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 4: People can't real spicy.

538
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 2: This is a note for our producer. This bit can

539
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: stay on the show. Can you just beep out what

540
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,640
Speaker 2: I say here because it's a bit rude. They shouldn't

541
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 2: sounds like he's a break it off one thousand percent?

542
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 2: Break up with this guy? Is he for real? Don't

543
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 2: waste your breath. He's a walking red flag. Someone said,

544
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 2: explain how you feel and listen and then both apologize what.

545
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: We deal with that at all? That's one way to

546
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:46,880
Speaker 4: do it.

547
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: Someone said drop him. Someone else said, break up with him.

548
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 2: He didn't even get you a card.

549
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 6: Girl.

550
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 2: The bar is on the floor.

551
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just a complete lack of any like I

552
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 5: wrote you a song or like.

553
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 4: You know, something like some kind.

554
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 2: My husband would divorce me before writing me a soul.

555
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: I think he'd be like, absolutely.

556
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 4: Not a poem. I drew you a picture like this?

557
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 2: James does for you. No, but he writes you songs,

558
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 2: he draws you pictures.

559
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 5: There are so many things that he could do that

560
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 5: don't require him to spend any money.

561
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 4: Is the point that I'm making.

562
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,400
Speaker 2: Someone said, I'm a psychologist, here's my best professional advice.

563
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 2: Take the whole man and put him in the rubbish. Yes,

564
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 2: I love to take the whole man.

565
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 1: Yeah.

566
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 2: Someone else said, why don't you just leave their pets?

567
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 2: Someone says make it clear and say you love receiving

568
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 2: surprises because not everybody has the same love language. I mean,

569
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 2: I could keep going, but I would say ninety percent

570
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,959
Speaker 2: of comments in our DMS were like, he ain't it

571
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 2: he acting like a child? You don't have a son, boy,

572
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: bye and break up with him, which look very aggressive.

573
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,159
Speaker 2: Obviously you're writing into us because you want advice and

574
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 2: you want to talk about it. I think you do

575
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,159
Speaker 2: need to sit down and be like, hey, I feel

576
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 2: very hurt. And I think that that's one thing that

577
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 2: when you're communicating with people about the circumstance that has happened,

578
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: you shouldn't say you did this, Beck, you didn't get

579
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 2: me a present, And that's rude because you're trying to

580
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 2: tell them they've done something wrong. If you reverse engineer

581
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 2: that circumstance and be like, hey, beck, I just felt

582
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 2: really disappointed that I didn't get a present for my birthday,

583
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,480
Speaker 2: that puts the emotion back on you and you're not

584
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 2: calling them out for something. You're just communicating your feelings,

585
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 2: and at the end of the day, people can argue

586
00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 2: with you saying black and white statements, but it's much

587
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 2: harder to come back and go no, no, I didn't.

588
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: It's like, well, actually I did feel disappointed, and I'd

589
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 2: really like to talk about why. Like, you know, after

590
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,239
Speaker 2: our conversation, I thought were still doing presence, and I

591
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 2: just I didn't see it coming. And one of my

592
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 2: love languages is gift giving, so it just I felt

593
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 2: incredibly disappointed. That's your partner's opportunity to go, oh, I

594
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: didn't realize you'd be disappointed. I thought we had that conversation,

595
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 2: you'd be like, oh, that was a really heated argument

596
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 2: where I felt disrespected, and we can have this conversation.

597
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 2: I think something that I have learned, much to my

598
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 2: husband's dismay, is you can't argue with people's emotions. If

599
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 2: I'm sharing that with you, often the response is going

600
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 2: to be much easier for them to deal with because

601
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,520
Speaker 2: they go, oh, I'm so sorry, Jess. I didn't realize

602
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 2: I made you feel that way, and we can have

603
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 2: a chat about it instead of meeting like, well, Jess,

604
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 2: you didn't get me a present.

605
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

606
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 2: Like that's a very black and white statement, because they'll

607
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 2: be like, yeah, I didn't.

608
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, so fa.

609
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 2: I think that's probably where we'll leave it, because I

610
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 2: could go on and on, but I think the last

611
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: thing I'll say is no, you're worth in, then attacks no,

612
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 2: you're worth.

613
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 4: Do with that what you will, Yeah, do without what

614
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 4: you will.

615
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 2: But it has been great joining you guys for another

616
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 2: Friday drinks, first one of twenty twenty four, many more

617
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: to come, Beck, go home, get better. I'm sure you've

618
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 2: been sick for six million years. You can't blame me

619
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 2: because you haven't seen me any other week except for recording.

620
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: But have the best week, my loves, and we will

621
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 2: see you. Bright's earlier on Monday for another money diary.

622
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 2: By The advice shared on She's on the Money is

623
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

624
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,920
Speaker 2: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and

625
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,360
Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or

626
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 2: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product,

627
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 2: read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored

628
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 2: towards your needs. Victoria divine and she's on the money.

629
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 2: Are authorized representatives of money sheper pty Ltd ABN three

630
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 2: two one is six four nine two seven seven zero

631
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 2: eight AFSL four five one two eight nine