1
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,119
Speaker 1: While it's not explicit, the content of today's podcast may

2
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,399
Speaker 1: not be suitable for younger listeners. We encourage parents to

3
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 1: use discretion ahead of this particular podcast episode Today. What

4
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:23,680
Speaker 1: happens when inappropriate sexual content is being shared on school

5
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,400
Speaker 1: laptops during school hours and after school hours with kids

6
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,000
Speaker 1: at school. We tackle that based on something that happened

7
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,519
Speaker 1: last week on social media that absolutely blew up on

8
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,120
Speaker 1: today's Happy Families podcast. We're so glad to have you

9
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,599
Speaker 1: along real parenting solutions every day on Australia's most downloaded

10
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,000
Speaker 1: parenting podcast. We are Justin and Kylie Colson. Kylie, until

11
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,519
Speaker 1: I told you that we were going to record this

12
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 1: and talk about this, you didn't even know what blew

13
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,920
Speaker 1: up on social media last week. You don't follow doctor

14
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,360
Speaker 1: Justin Colson's Happy Families on Facebook? Am I understanding that correctly? No?

15
00:00:56,520 --> 00:01:00,240
Speaker 1: I do, And you just don't read my content well because.

16
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:03,240
Speaker 2: I don't interact with it. It doesn't come up in mind.

17
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:08,360
Speaker 1: It's just getting worse. Don't don't read it, don't interact.

18
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:12,240
Speaker 2: Only have fifteen minutes on socials today. I'm looking for

19
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,399
Speaker 2: artwork for our home.

20
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to blame our screen time limits. All right, well,

21
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,680
Speaker 1: this is a really serious conversation, so I don't want

22
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 1: to I don't want to have too much comedy at

23
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:23,600
Speaker 1: the beginning. Here's the setup, and just to ask questions

24
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,200
Speaker 1: as we go, as you need to. I'll probably have

25
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,160
Speaker 1: a lot more to say, at least in the initial

26
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,040
Speaker 1: stages of this discussion than you. So last Monday, I've

27
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,240
Speaker 1: got an email my office sent through an email that

28
00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,759
Speaker 1: came from a mum who was just desperate. She was saying,

29
00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:40,759
Speaker 1: my daughter's getting this these threats, these sexual threats from

30
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,600
Speaker 1: a boy in her grade. They're only in grade seven, so.

31
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,200
Speaker 2: Just stop there. Yeah, grade seven.

32
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 1: Grade seven, so the twelve years old.

33
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,840
Speaker 2: How is this even possible.

34
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,520
Speaker 1: I've got one word. One word answer is sufficient. That

35
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,320
Speaker 1: one word is pornography. So you give your kids a phone,

36
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,240
Speaker 1: and the phone becomes the center of the world and

37
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:03,920
Speaker 1: it unlocks it unlocks everything, absolutely everything. And unfortunately most

38
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,080
Speaker 1: parents when they give their kids a phone, usually at

39
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,639
Speaker 1: the beginning of high school, although it does happen earlier,

40
00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:13,160
Speaker 1: it becomes it just becomes their world, It absolute becomes

41
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,840
Speaker 1: their world. Anyway, this mum says, my seven year old

42
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,440
Speaker 1: daughter has been getting these threats I've reported to the school.

43
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,839
Speaker 1: The school is responding, but they're not moving fast enough

44
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:23,000
Speaker 1: for me. And the boy is still in class with

45
00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:25,799
Speaker 1: my girl and he needs to be out of the school,

46
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,440
Speaker 1: Like why should my daughter be the one who misses

47
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 1: out on school, Like she doesn't want to go to

48
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:32,959
Speaker 1: school anymore. And she just said, I'm not quite sure

49
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,400
Speaker 1: what to do. I've spoken to the police. They've said

50
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,680
Speaker 1: that he's doing the wrong thing, but they've got a

51
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,720
Speaker 1: limited amount that they can do, but they have been helpful.

52
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:40,680
Speaker 1: And she said, I've spoken.

53
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,400
Speaker 2: Do you mean they've got a limited amount that they

54
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,480
Speaker 2: can do when she's literally.

55
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 1: Got proof, So essentially because of his age, they indicated

56
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,280
Speaker 1: to her that from a legislation point of view, And

57
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,639
Speaker 1: again I'm repeating this third hand, and I'm not a lawyer,

58
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,720
Speaker 1: but from a legislation point of view, my understanding is

59
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,120
Speaker 1: all they can really do is give him a warning,

60
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,120
Speaker 1: a slap on the wrist. It's probably not even that,

61
00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 1: quite honestly, And unfortunately, we just see more and more

62
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,280
Speaker 1: evidence of kids that are just so brazen they're not

63
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,560
Speaker 1: bothered by authority giving them a slap on the wrist

64
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,239
Speaker 1: because the consequences don't hurt. So anyway, she said, I

65
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 1: don't know what to do, and she asked me with

66
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 1: her permission. I then shared her email and the screenshots

67
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,600
Speaker 1: on my Facebook page. Now, at time of recording, that

68
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,160
Speaker 1: particular post had something like two two and a half

69
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,760
Speaker 1: thousand what do you call them likes, and some four

70
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,080
Speaker 1: or five hundred comments and four or five hundred shares

71
00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,880
Speaker 1: as well, So based on Facebook's algorithm, this kind of

72
00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:35,520
Speaker 1: went pretty viral, given that things don't go viral like

73
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,160
Speaker 1: they used to. But I want to read exactly what

74
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,240
Speaker 1: I wrote. I think that needs to set up the

75
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,240
Speaker 1: conversation that we need to have today on the Happy

76
00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,040
Speaker 1: Families podcast. And again today's about real parenting solutions, so

77
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,680
Speaker 1: we need to get to solutions. We need the context first.

78
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 1: Here's the context. This is what I wrote Monday morning,

79
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: ten o'clock on Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families on Facebook,

80
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,120
Speaker 1: and we cross posted it to Instagram. My mother just

81
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,400
Speaker 1: wrote to me about her daughter's first year of high school.

82
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,360
Speaker 1: She's been there about a month. Instead of excitement and growth,

83
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,760
Speaker 1: this girl has faced sexual threats via school laptops, including

84
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:13,440
Speaker 1: rape threats from a classmate. I've shared the screenshots beware.

85
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:19,080
Speaker 1: This is ugly and it's happening in grade seven on

86
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:25,080
Speaker 1: school laptops. Despite police confirming these actions as illegal, the

87
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,760
Speaker 1: boy remains in her class. This is the second time

88
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:33,839
Speaker 1: she's endured this from classmates this year. Both boys have

89
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,359
Speaker 1: at this stage received nothing more than a quote slap

90
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,799
Speaker 1: on the wrist. Close quote. The principal of the school

91
00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,279
Speaker 1: has encouraged to be in touch with police and applauded

92
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,720
Speaker 1: her standing up for her daughter, but the boys are

93
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,200
Speaker 1: still at school. I'm going to interrupt what I wrote

94
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,280
Speaker 1: for a second. The principal. I've actually seen the emails

95
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:53,280
Speaker 1: from the principal. The principal is being really wonderfully diplomatic

96
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,919
Speaker 1: and saying I'm glad you going to the police, and

97
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,800
Speaker 1: you should pursue this. I really appreciate that he's doing that.

98
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,640
Speaker 1: But for me, applauding mom and saying good on you

99
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: for standing up for your daughter, for me, that's not enough.

100
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,520
Speaker 1: He needs no, no, no, he needs to stand up for

101
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,479
Speaker 1: her daughter as well.

102
00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:13,279
Speaker 2: That's ex exactly right. His job, literally, his job is

103
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,240
Speaker 2: to safeguard all the children within his care. And while

104
00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:19,080
Speaker 2: ever he allows these boys to do what they're doing,

105
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,280
Speaker 2: he's actually not helping them.

106
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,640
Speaker 1: So let me continue with what I wrote.

107
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,920
Speaker 2: And we'll let alone protecting her.

108
00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,839
Speaker 1: We'll come back to that. So the boys are still

109
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,640
Speaker 1: at school. The result her daughter quote doesn't want to

110
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,919
Speaker 1: be part of the school system ever again close quote.

111
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:35,960
Speaker 2: Can you blame her?

112
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:40,560
Speaker 1: This is not just unacceptable, it's a catastrophic failure of leadership.

113
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,440
Speaker 1: Let's be clear about what's happening. When schools allow boys

114
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:50,080
Speaker 1: who make sexual threats to remain in class with their victims,

115
00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:54,839
Speaker 1: They're making a value judgment. They're saying a boy's uninterrupted

116
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,480
Speaker 1: education matters more than a girl's right to learn without fear.

117
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,920
Speaker 1: They're betting on the wrong horse. These aren't incidents to manage.

118
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,920
Speaker 1: They are character defining moments for schools, families, and communities.

119
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,400
Speaker 1: The harsh reality is that schools pile hormone fueled, underdeveloped

120
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:19,120
Speaker 1: brains together in confined spaces, then act shocked when problematic

121
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,360
Speaker 1: behavior emerges. Add pornography to the pocket of every teen

122
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,920
Speaker 1: boy in our community, a series of boy code beliefs

123
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,039
Speaker 1: that amplify sexualized behavior, and parents of boys who are

124
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,240
Speaker 1: unwilling to confront the reality that their boys are behaving

125
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,280
Speaker 1: badly and instead write it off as boys will be boys.

126
00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:43,400
Speaker 1: It's not okay. Three uncomfortable truths. One. Schools that respond

127
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:47,920
Speaker 1: weakly to sexual harassment aren't neutral. They're complicit in teaching

128
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,000
Speaker 1: boys that predatory behavior carries minimal consequences. Two. Girls are

129
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,920
Speaker 1: dropping out because adults in power positions have decided their

130
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:03,880
Speaker 1: trauma is an acceptable cost of doing business. Three. Every

131
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:09,679
Speaker 1: girl who leaves education represents a failure of our entire system,

132
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 1: not just an individual school. So what's actually needed. Schools

133
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,400
Speaker 1: must respond with consequences proportionate to the harm caused. Boys

134
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:23,880
Speaker 1: who demonstrate these behaviors need immediate, intensive intervention focused on

135
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 1: responsibility and empathy. We need clear pathways for boys to

136
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: repair harm, not just do their time. Robust supports systems

137
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:37,480
Speaker 1: are needed as well for victims that prioritizes their continued

138
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:42,240
Speaker 1: access to education, and parents must demand accountability from school

139
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,880
Speaker 1: leadership with the same ferocity that they bring to academic failures.

140
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,400
Speaker 1: To the mother who wrote to me, I wrote this,

141
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:53,680
Speaker 1: your daughter's experience isn't an unfortunate incident. It's a predictable

142
00:07:53,760 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 1: outcome of systems that consistently undervalue girl's safety. Run everything,

143
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:06,200
Speaker 1: challenge every week, response, escalate to education departments. Fine, parent

144
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:11,080
Speaker 1: allies make noise, because here's the brutal truth. Educational institutions

145
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,560
Speaker 1: move when their reputation or funding is threatened, not when

146
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,720
Speaker 1: children are the next generation of men is watching how

147
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,400
Speaker 1: we respond every week, need milk toast response to sexual

148
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,840
Speaker 1: aggression tells boys exactly what society truly values, and right

149
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:31,800
Speaker 1: now we're telling them the wrong story. So that's what

150
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,720
Speaker 1: I wrote. After the break, let's talk about what parents

151
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:47,160
Speaker 1: can do about situations like this. Okay, Kylie, you've heard

152
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,439
Speaker 1: what I had to say. What's your response.

153
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,840
Speaker 2: Well, as I was listening to I was actually flicking

154
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,319
Speaker 2: through the images that you've posted.

155
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,440
Speaker 1: As the screen the boys had to say.

156
00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,840
Speaker 2: The dialogue, and oh my goodness.

157
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,840
Speaker 1: Send shivers down your spine when you think the twelve

158
00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,719
Speaker 1: year olds are saying this stuff, and you talk to

159
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,439
Speaker 1: people like Dan Prince pay or Milita tank card Re

160
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 1: collective shout, and I'll tell you it starts in grade four.

161
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,079
Speaker 2: Just like that's just a whole other world. And for

162
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,800
Speaker 2: that and many other reasons, our ten year olds at home,

163
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:26,080
Speaker 2: I literally I can't imagine subjecting my child to that

164
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:32,680
Speaker 2: brutality and absolute disgrace. So I guess understanding and knowing

165
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,320
Speaker 2: that our job here is to help parents.

166
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, real parents out that's the podcast.

167
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,760
Speaker 2: In this position. How do we help How do we

168
00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 2: help this young girl specifically, but all of our girls.

169
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,040
Speaker 1: So here's the really good news, because this mom came

170
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,200
Speaker 1: to me and we were able to put it up

171
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,920
Speaker 1: on social media. So many people just try to deal

172
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,360
Speaker 1: with it. They keep it in house, they keep it

173
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,520
Speaker 1: under wraps, they let the school look after it, or

174
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:58,080
Speaker 1: they just deal with it at the local level, at

175
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,720
Speaker 1: the individual level. But when we shine a light on

176
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,200
Speaker 1: it with a big platform, all of a sudden, like

177
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,480
Speaker 1: the comments, the stories, the fact that so many people

178
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:10,280
Speaker 1: have said dealing with the same thing went through it

179
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,960
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, it's been horrendous. The response

180
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,160
Speaker 1: from parents number one and lets you know that you're

181
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,719
Speaker 1: not alone, helps you to know that you've got allies.

182
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,480
Speaker 1: But number two and I think this is the critical thing.

183
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:29,000
Speaker 1: People realize that accountability is demanded. Accountability is necessary, there's

184
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,560
Speaker 1: responsibility that must be taken, and it forces education departments,

185
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:35,600
Speaker 1: that forces schools and principles and leaders to say, Okay,

186
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,640
Speaker 1: we really need to respond to this proactively and clearly

187
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,079
Speaker 1: we've got to do something about the culture here. To me,

188
00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:47,040
Speaker 1: we need to amplify this sort of stuff, not reduce it.

189
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,679
Speaker 1: It means that there'll be more reports, it means we'll

190
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:51,920
Speaker 1: get more scared, but ultimately it's going to bring it down.

191
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,800
Speaker 1: Why because people have to start to own their stuff.

192
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,120
Speaker 1: So to me, that's the first thing. You shine a

193
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,880
Speaker 1: light on it and you make as much noise about

194
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:03,280
Speaker 1: it as you can. The second thing is, as parents,

195
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:10,959
Speaker 1: we have got to stop outsourcing our children's care to

196
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:16,480
Speaker 1: algorithms and screens and platforms where there are no people

197
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:20,439
Speaker 1: with prefrontal cortices to help kids to make wise decisions

198
00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:24,320
Speaker 1: like Parental monitoring and supervision is the number one protective

199
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,560
Speaker 1: factor to keep our kids from both being victims and

200
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: perpetrators of this behavior. If you are going to allow

201
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,600
Speaker 1: your child to be on a screen, you have a

202
00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,520
Speaker 1: responsibility to know what they're looking at, to know what

203
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:38,280
Speaker 1: they're doing, to know what they're saying, to know what

204
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,240
Speaker 1: they're typing, to know who they're communicating with and how

205
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:45,720
Speaker 1: they're communicating. If you don't, I'm not into shaming parents,

206
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,400
Speaker 1: but I need to say this really clearly. If you

207
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,079
Speaker 1: don't keep an eye on what your kids are doing

208
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,520
Speaker 1: from a screen perspective, it's an abrogation of your responsibility

209
00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,440
Speaker 1: as a parent, and they will either hurt or be hurt.

210
00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,480
Speaker 1: So they're probably my two big take home messages. Make

211
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,600
Speaker 1: noise if it happens to you. And oh and if

212
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,319
Speaker 1: your child is the one who is doing the perpetrating,

213
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,119
Speaker 1: don't keep this quiet. You make sure that he absolutely

214
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,200
Speaker 1: And I'm using he because in ninety seven percent of

215
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,720
Speaker 1: cases it is a he. There are girls who treat

216
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,439
Speaker 1: each other horrendously badly too. I'm not making this a

217
00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:23,040
Speaker 1: gendered thing. Just statistically, it's more likely to be a guy.

218
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,640
Speaker 1: If your child does the wrong thing, own it. Don't

219
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,680
Speaker 1: be one of those parents. Like I said it in

220
00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,680
Speaker 1: the comments. You remember brock Turner, the guy who sexually

221
00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:36,320
Speaker 1: assaulted a girl at university at Stanford a handful of

222
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:38,400
Speaker 1: years ago. I've got Shanelle Miller's book on my bookshelf.

223
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,200
Speaker 1: It's one of the most brilliantly written books know my

224
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:46,040
Speaker 1: name that I've just stunningly well written and profound in

225
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:49,440
Speaker 1: terms of how it outlines the impact of sexual assault.

226
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:55,120
Speaker 1: Brock Turner was the perpetrator, and in court his dad said,

227
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,640
Speaker 1: I feel like my son's paying a steep price for

228
00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:02,040
Speaker 1: twenty minutes of action. Wow, this is number one victim

229
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:06,240
Speaker 1: blaming and number two just an absolute unwillingness to own

230
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,680
Speaker 1: what's going on. If we want our boys to own,

231
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,000
Speaker 1: or our children to own their poor decisions, we as

232
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,040
Speaker 1: parents have got to guide them to that ownership. We

233
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,200
Speaker 1: can't shield them minimal consequences, absolutely not.

234
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:25,880
Speaker 2: They need to experience the pain of that decision in

235
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,240
Speaker 2: order for them to learn and grow.

236
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. So number one, if you're the victim, make noise.

237
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,760
Speaker 1: Make noise parents. You know what I love about this

238
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,880
Speaker 1: story most of all, I've got a mum. I don't

239
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,280
Speaker 1: love the whole mamma bear thing, but in this case

240
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,920
Speaker 1: it's perfect. Right, here's a mum who's saying, my little

241
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,480
Speaker 1: one needs protection, and I Am going to go full

242
00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:50,200
Speaker 1: tilt into protection mode because that's my job. My job

243
00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 1: is to protect my kids. My daughter has been harmed.

244
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,839
Speaker 1: She's only been at school for a term, not even

245
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,640
Speaker 1: a term, half a term, and this is happening at

246
00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:00,719
Speaker 1: her brand new school that she was so excited for,

247
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,840
Speaker 1: to the point where she doesn't want to be there anymore,

248
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:09,120
Speaker 1: and rightly, so understandably, so go loud or if you're

249
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:14,320
Speaker 1: the parent of a perpetrator, own it, accountability, responsibility, it matters.

250
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,360
Speaker 1: I'm really pleased to see, by the way that after

251
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,600
Speaker 1: we launched this big time on my Facebook page, news

252
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 1: media picked it up around the country like this thing

253
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,560
Speaker 1: has gone off and police have been involved, and like

254
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 1: it's happening properly. The second thing is monitor, Monitor, and supervise.

255
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:32,960
Speaker 1: They are the two action steps that I think are

256
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960
Speaker 1: more important than anything else. If there's a third one,

257
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,200
Speaker 1: talk to your kids, say hey, here's what I heard

258
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:40,400
Speaker 1: on the podcast today. Go back to my Facebook page,

259
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,200
Speaker 1: have a look at the screenshots, like this is not unusual.

260
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 1: This stuff is happening all day, every day in schools

261
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:52,000
Speaker 1: around this country more than you would possibly believe. This

262
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,160
Speaker 1: is not unusual. Show them the screenshots, talk about it,

263
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,520
Speaker 1: Ask them how they feel, Ask them if it's happening,

264
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,000
Speaker 1: Ask them if they'll talk to you about it if

265
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 1: it ever happens to them. Come up with contingencies, ways

266
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaker 1: to respond, keep your kids safe. They're my three action steps.

267
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,560
Speaker 2: I guess if I was going to add anything to

268
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,240
Speaker 2: that from a practicality point of view, the conversations we've

269
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,920
Speaker 2: had with our girls when they've found themselves in tricky situations.

270
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:24,200
Speaker 2: Block the person, don't engage in conversation because whenever you add,

271
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 2: no matter what it is, whether it's a retort or whatever,

272
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,120
Speaker 2: you actually add fuel to the fire. You give them

273
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,600
Speaker 2: exactly what they want. So regardless of whether she has

274
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 2: engaged or not, the behavior is disgraceful, disgusting and wrong

275
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 2: in every way. But by stopping it, there's nowhere for

276
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 2: them to build traction because you're not giving them anything.

277
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I should have also mentioned there's the e

278
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,880
Speaker 1: safety commissioner. It's absolutely got to be reported to the

279
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,000
Speaker 1: safety commissioner. It does have to go to the school.

280
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,480
Speaker 1: When I say make noise, I mean you tell everybody,

281
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 1: all the authorities, you escalate it, you do all of

282
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,200
Speaker 1: those sorts of things. So I just I want to

283
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,760
Speaker 1: make sure I cover that off. I reckon that's probably enough.

284
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 1: So we really hope this has been helpful. We will

285
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,840
Speaker 1: link in the show notes to the Facebook post and

286
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 1: the information if you'd like more about it, and more

287
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,880
Speaker 1: than anything, talk to your kids, keep them close, monitor

288
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 1: what's going on, because this is the sort of thing

289
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 1: that you really don't want to have happening in your

290
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:20,880
Speaker 1: kitchen and living room, or worse, in your child's bedroom

291
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:25,640
Speaker 1: where they suffer or attack alone. Thank you so much

292
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: for listening. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin

293
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,000
Speaker 1: Ruland from Bridge Media. We would love it if you're

294
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,560
Speaker 1: enjoying the podcast, could you leave us a rating and review?

295
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 1: Those five star We like the five stars. Five star

296
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: ratings and reviews help other people to find out about

297
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: the podcast. We get to reach more people. It'll take

298
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,840
Speaker 1: you about thirty seconds and it'll give you a warm fuzzy.

299
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,440
Speaker 1: If you'd like more information and more resources about making

300
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,280
Speaker 1: your family happier, visit us at happy families dot com

301
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: dot you