WEBVTT - 🎨 PALETTE CLEANSER: Car Jacking Random Men + Haunted Wigs

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, it's art Zimone here and welcome back to the

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<v Speaker 1>Palate Cleanser. And what have I been up to this week? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I recently carjack someone while I.

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<v Speaker 2>Was dressed as Cafday Night.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I'd catch up with you and tell you

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<v Speaker 1>about what I've been up to recently, which was a

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<v Speaker 1>moment that I'm not very proud of, and I was

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<v Speaker 1>very embarrassed at the time and I can look back

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<v Speaker 1>on it and.

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<v Speaker 2>Laugh at it now.

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<v Speaker 1>But recently I was in Sydney doing our Fountlakes in

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<v Speaker 1>Lockdown show. He had a return season there went splendidly,

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<v Speaker 1>thanks for asking everyone. But while I was there, I

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<v Speaker 1>had to go and do a bit of press. I'd

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<v Speaker 1>go out to another radio station. Can't say the name

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<v Speaker 1>here because you know, conflict of interest, Triple J. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>so I was at Triple J at the ABC studios

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<v Speaker 1>in Sydney and I did a Love Drive Time Live

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<v Speaker 1>cross and I was dressed as Cat Day Night at

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<v Speaker 1>the time because the interview was just before we had

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<v Speaker 1>our show for the evening. So I was like, look,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll do it in full drag, Cat drag, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>So I had my perm on, I had my knitche

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<v Speaker 1>to walk about one bat jumper, a nice Jenny Flatt,

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<v Speaker 1>and a white caperri from Miller's. So I was feeling

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<v Speaker 1>ultra glamorous and I had to get an uber back

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<v Speaker 1>to the theater and I ordered the uber and a

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<v Speaker 1>car drives up and it says my car's there, and

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<v Speaker 1>the number plate was like one XF, and I was like, perfect,

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<v Speaker 1>I looked one XF. So my wave with the guy

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<v Speaker 1>in the car gives me this look. But I'm used

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<v Speaker 1>to catching ubers in drag all the time and I

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<v Speaker 1>always get this look. Like every single time, I get

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<v Speaker 1>this weird like oh, like they're always scared that there's

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<v Speaker 1>a drag queen.

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<v Speaker 2>So I was like, oh, well this checks out. Yes. Hello.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just opened the door after waving at this

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<v Speaker 1>man and he still looks a bit confused. I'm like hi, yep,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's like no, no, no, no no, And I

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<v Speaker 1>was like ha ha ha ha ha because this happens

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<v Speaker 1>to me in ubers all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>They freak out because they're.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, do a queen all so scary and he's

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<v Speaker 1>like no, no, no, no no no, And I was like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>that's me, yes, yes, that's me, and He's like no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>no no, and I'm looking at him to be confused

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm cathay Night and he's not clearly enjoying the experience.

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<v Speaker 1>And I sit in the back seat and he's like, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>no no. I was like Uber Uber for art, and

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<v Speaker 1>he's like, no, I'm not an Uber driver.

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<v Speaker 3>And I.

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<v Speaker 1>Had to quickly step out of that car and apologize

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<v Speaker 1>profusely while just as cathday Night and look across the

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<v Speaker 1>car lot and there there is another car with exactly

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<v Speaker 1>the first three letters and numbers as the number plate

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<v Speaker 1>that I had just got into, and realized that he

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<v Speaker 1>was in fact correct, that he wasn't an Uber driver,

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<v Speaker 1>and I wasn't mean to be in his car. So look,

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<v Speaker 1>that was very degrading, and I'm sorry for tarnishing the

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<v Speaker 1>image of Cafe Night. I am really, really sorry, Jane Turner.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that would be the first time I've been

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<v Speaker 1>fairly kicked out of an Uber, because you know, I

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<v Speaker 1>get kicked out all the time because I'm a drag queen.

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<v Speaker 2>They freak out.

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<v Speaker 1>But I got kicked out of an Uber and it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't even an Uber, and look, I will have to

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<v Speaker 1>apologize it did just describe and say what the model

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<v Speaker 1>and make of the car is. But I'm a gay person,

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<v Speaker 1>so if you expect me to understand what a Toyota

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<v Speaker 1>camera is versus a hold on something like that, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't even know what the symbols are, so of course

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<v Speaker 1>I got confused. Anyways, that's what I've been up to,

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<v Speaker 1>a carjacking people's car. So I hope you got some

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<v Speaker 1>joy out of that, because I am still a bit scarred.

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<v Speaker 2>Artifacts.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's time for artifacts, which is show and tell

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<v Speaker 1>for big kids, and today I have brought in a

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<v Speaker 1>haunted wig to tell a story about for everyone here today,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm very excited. Let's take you back to a

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<v Speaker 1>recent occurrence that happened, which was unfortunately the passing of

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<v Speaker 1>Jitterly Cally and Tay, who is a star of stage

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<v Speaker 1>and screen. You may know her from RuPaul's Drag Race,

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<v Speaker 1>you may know her from Pose, you may know her

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<v Speaker 1>from a stage near you, very very iconic and fun

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<v Speaker 1>and fabulous person who for a lot of us queer people,

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<v Speaker 1>we grew up watching her on drag Race and seeing

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<v Speaker 1>her shine and seeing her faux pas as well.

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<v Speaker 2>We know that she.

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<v Speaker 1>Really couldn't pull together out if her position in a

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<v Speaker 1>competition depended on it, and I can relate to that.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, we unfortunately lost her. But what it reminded

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<v Speaker 2>me of was that I was very fortunate to tour

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<v Speaker 2>with her across Europe. We lived in a tour bus together.

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<v Speaker 2>It was very, very fun. It was my first ever

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<v Speaker 2>international tour. I was green as they come, and she

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<v Speaker 2>was a very very wonderful person to work with and

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<v Speaker 2>kind of took me under it wing and was really

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<v Speaker 2>really really nice. And we got to the end of

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<v Speaker 2>this tour and it was a Halloween theme tour, but

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<v Speaker 2>it was in like March, don't ask, don't go there,

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<v Speaker 2>so she we all had like, you know, we're a

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<v Speaker 2>Halloween esque so for her Halloween meant that she was

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<v Speaker 2>going to dress as Jasmine from Aladdin. And she got

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<v Speaker 2>to the end of the tour and she had this

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<v Speaker 2>hair piece which I brought in for everyone here today.

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<v Speaker 2>It's this beautiful black wig with these bejeweled i'd say,

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<v Speaker 2>like clips that go through it.

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<v Speaker 1>They look like little bracelets for ants, but not unlike,

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<v Speaker 1>of course Jasmine's ponytail from the cartoon. She is looking

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<v Speaker 1>a bit worse for wear. I will look, it looks

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<v Speaker 1>like I strangled Hagrid and put some crystals through his beard.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm really sorry, but it wasn't a lot better

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<v Speaker 1>nick when it was in the bind. So but I

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<v Speaker 1>think that it's actually getting scragglier because Jiggilye is haunting

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<v Speaker 1>it and that's her souldest now the compossessed. No, it

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<v Speaker 1>does look like a ball of pubes. I'm sorry, but

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<v Speaker 1>very very beautiful. And she pulled this off out of

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<v Speaker 1>off the back of her head and threw it in

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<v Speaker 1>the beam and I looked at it. I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Like why are you throwing this

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<v Speaker 1>in the beach, And she's like, I don't need it anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>I looked at this wig that had only been used

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<v Speaker 1>on this tour and still with the She didn't even

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<v Speaker 1>pull out the badazzled like jewels and things. She just

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<v Speaker 1>napped in the bin it goes and I said, take that,

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<v Speaker 1>and she looked at me and she's like, okay, I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, thank you. You know, And this

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<v Speaker 1>is a natural process for me because I am a collector.

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<v Speaker 1>I will collect anything and everything. I am a complete

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<v Speaker 1>magpie of drag, whether it's dolls or whether it's drag paraphernalia,

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<v Speaker 1>or whether it's movies or horror items or collecting calories.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm very grateful I did in that moment because

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<v Speaker 1>I now have this haunted Jiggly Cally and tape wig.

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<v Speaker 1>When I got it home, I pinned it up on

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<v Speaker 1>the wall in my office and sent her a picture.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't think she thought I was any more

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<v Speaker 1>sane than what she thought on the tour. I do

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<v Speaker 1>have another story that I wish I could tell you

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<v Speaker 1>about Jiggily CALLI and te that happened. But the only

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<v Speaker 1>thing I'll say is when you go on a tour bus,

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<v Speaker 1>the first thing they tell you, because you're living on

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<v Speaker 1>this bus for a couple of weeks, do not take

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<v Speaker 1>a dump on the tour bus. It's for number ones only,

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<v Speaker 1>not number two's. And all I can say is that

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<v Speaker 1>I went down to do a number one halfway through

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<v Speaker 1>one of the evenings. I got out of my coffin

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<v Speaker 1>of a bunk and someone had forgotten to lock the door,

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<v Speaker 1>and I saw no name person can't say who squatting

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<v Speaker 1>over a toilet seat doing a number two in a

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<v Speaker 1>garbage bag so she could throw it out Because you

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<v Speaker 1>can't clog up the toilet.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, probably bleep all of that out anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>I encourage everyone to collect drag droppings, haunt wigs, and

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<v Speaker 1>don't dump on a bus.

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<v Speaker 2>Concealed weapons.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to concealed weapons, where you get hacks from a hack.

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<v Speaker 1>And this week this one's from me. You sometimes certain

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<v Speaker 1>know what to say in a sexual circumstance. Are you

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<v Speaker 1>bad at lying? Are you bad at you know someone

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<v Speaker 1>comes to you and they go, oh, do you like

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<v Speaker 1>my dress? And you know you don't want to hurt

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<v Speaker 1>their feelings or you know, point out that they look

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<v Speaker 1>incredibly hideous. Well, I've got the tip for you. All

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<v Speaker 1>you need to say are these three words, and it

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<v Speaker 1>works every time. I'm telling you, I have used this

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<v Speaker 1>for my entire career, and I apologize to anyone that

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<v Speaker 1>has had these words.

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<v Speaker 2>Come out of my mouth. Now look at you, that's

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<v Speaker 2>all you say.

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<v Speaker 1>You say, look at you, and instead of them going

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<v Speaker 1>oh oh, they go yes, look at me because they

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<v Speaker 1>think they look amazing. And you can use it in

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<v Speaker 1>any circumstance. And you don't know, I don't know what

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<v Speaker 1>to say. Someone goes, oh no, the world's ending, look

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<v Speaker 1>at you, and they look at themselves and they go, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>that's fun. They go, oh, no, my car, I just

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<v Speaker 1>crushed my car. Look at you and they go, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>go'stop it.

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<v Speaker 2>Look at me.

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<v Speaker 1>It's really great for deflecting anything. It's really great for

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<v Speaker 1>you just feeling any silence. It is the ultimate form

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<v Speaker 1>of phrase, and I encourage anyone to use it whenever

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<v Speaker 1>they feel appropriate.

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<v Speaker 2>Try it today.

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<v Speaker 1>Put it into a sentence. Someone comes you at work

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<v Speaker 1>at lunch and says, do you want to taste this?

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<v Speaker 1>I bake this for the room, And you taste it

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<v Speaker 1>and you go, oh, it's not very good.

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<v Speaker 2>You go look at you.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel so proud because they baked and hopefully didn't

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<v Speaker 1>use mushrooms and a dehydrader.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all I'm going to say.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, feel free to use look at you whenever

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<v Speaker 1>you are in a social circumstance that you feel uncomfortable,

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what to say, or want to make someone

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<v Speaker 1>feel good even though they should really be feeling bad.

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<v Speaker 1>Arts advice. It's advice from me, all right, It's time

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<v Speaker 1>for arts advice. Where you ask a question, I'll give

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<v Speaker 1>you some advice, even though it may not be the

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<v Speaker 1>advice you're looking for.

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<v Speaker 3>I have a question around social media etiquette. I've met

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<v Speaker 3>a friend of a friend a couple of times, but

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<v Speaker 3>I wouldn't consider as friends or someone that i'd even

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<v Speaker 3>want to be friends with. Really really hung out with

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<v Speaker 3>her because I had to. She's just started following me

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<v Speaker 3>on Instagram, and I don't want to follow her back.

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<v Speaker 3>But I have a private Instagram, so she'll see that

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<v Speaker 3>I've accepted her request and then realize I didn't follow

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<v Speaker 3>her back. What should I do? What are the rules

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<v Speaker 3>around social media etiquette?

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<v Speaker 1>Don't follow her back? Don't pollute your timeline with bullshit

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<v Speaker 1>that you don't need to see. Don't I don't care

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<v Speaker 1>about the pleasantries anymore. Your time is sacred, Your timeline

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<v Speaker 1>is sacred, and who cares about her feelings? If it

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<v Speaker 1>was Facebook, you have to accept go for it. But

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<v Speaker 1>that's because no one uses Facebook and no one cares.

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<v Speaker 1>But your Instagram timeline is so so sacred. And also

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be rude, But don't be so

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<v Speaker 1>up yourself that you think she's like looking up to

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<v Speaker 1>see whether you follow her back, because she probably isn't.

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<v Speaker 1>I recently had a situation that happened with a man

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<v Speaker 1>friend that I have been seeing on and off for

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<v Speaker 1>three years, and I got a text from him literally

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<v Speaker 1>like two weeks ago, and he goes, this is really embarrassing,

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<v Speaker 1>but I have to follow you on Instagram now because

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<v Speaker 1>I accidentally unfollowed you three years ago and you obviously

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<v Speaker 1>didn't notice. And if you get a follow requests don't

0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:09.760
<v Speaker 1>make it fit bad. So I didn't even notice. But

0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:12.600
<v Speaker 1>the thing with him, though, is he replies to my

0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:15.000
<v Speaker 1>stories but doesn't follow me well at the time, so

0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.280
<v Speaker 1>he would have to be like searching my profile to

0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:23.080
<v Speaker 1>keep up the illusion. Anyway, don't follow her. I don't care,

0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:24.640
<v Speaker 1>or make a fake account.

0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:26.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. It depends how much you care about

0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:28.520
<v Speaker 2>your timeline. But I wouldn't bother about it.

0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:31.440
<v Speaker 1>So hopefully I've given you the advice that you secretly wanted,

0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:33.640
<v Speaker 1>which I think you did. That's the tone of that,

0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 1>that you really just wanted someone to confirm that. Don't

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.480
<v Speaker 1>follow her, and who knows. Maybe you'll become friends. It

0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:42.800
<v Speaker 1>doesn't sound like you will, And don't worry because when

0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:45.880
<v Speaker 1>you see each other in person, just be like, I

0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:48.680
<v Speaker 1>don't follow you because I don't like you. Maybe that'll

0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:55.360
<v Speaker 1>work for you. No, No, no, no, really, just don't

0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.600
<v Speaker 1>acknowledge anything. If there's one thing that I know is

0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:00.880
<v Speaker 1>if you don't acknowledge it, you can ignore it and

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.120
<v Speaker 1>pretend it doesn't happen, and then you don't have to

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:07.120
<v Speaker 1>feel uncomfortable in any social circumstances. Be oblivious to the world.

0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:11.240
<v Speaker 1>No one cares unless you're genuinely interested. Then go follow

0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.880
<v Speaker 1>her and leave her hate comments. Now, if you have

0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:16.720
<v Speaker 1>any questions that you need advice to make sure you

0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.199
<v Speaker 1>jump onto the socials or in the show notes and

0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.880
<v Speaker 1>send it an email or a voice note, and I

0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:27.000
<v Speaker 1>will give you my unsolicited and extremely helpful advice free

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:32.959
<v Speaker 1>of charge. I'm that generous. Well, that has been this

0:12:33.000 --> 0:12:35.960
<v Speaker 1>week's palette cleanser. Thank you so much for joining me here.

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.959
<v Speaker 1>Now don't forget. Next week we have a regular episode

0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 1>of Concealed with a special guest who is Mark. And

0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:44.760
<v Speaker 1>the most interesting thing that I can say about him

0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:48.960
<v Speaker 1>is that he is a straight man. Yes, I'm risking

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.599
<v Speaker 1>my life and I'm going to be in the studio

0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:55.079
<v Speaker 1>with a straight man straighty one eighty who is concealing

0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.320
<v Speaker 1>something that involves Samuel L.

0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:00.679
<v Speaker 2>Jackson, Who's that I don't know. I don't forget to

0:13:00.720 --> 0:13:01.840
<v Speaker 2>send in your most notes.

0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.160
<v Speaker 1>If you want to jump on the soapbox, or if

0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.439
<v Speaker 1>you want some art advice, we're here. My podcast is

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:10.319
<v Speaker 1>for you and you guys only, so we'll see you

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 1>next week. My name is Artsimone and you are fabulous. Goodbye,