1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: Have you ever sat down in a cafe with your 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: laptop surrounded by complete strangers, only to have an incredibly 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 1: focused session of work despite all the noise and distraction 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 1: of everything going on in the cafe. After a couple 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: of hours, you've realized that you've actually smashed through a 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: bunch of work that would have taken you way more 7 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:26,319 Speaker 1: hours or even days to complete at home. Was it 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,800 Speaker 1: that strong, soy flat white, or was it the motivation 9 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: of being around other people? Well, you're not crazy, because 10 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: there's actually a lot of behavioral science that tells us 11 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: how much more productive we can be by working in 12 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: a social situation. Founder of focus Mate, Taylor Jacobson, discovered 13 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,919 Speaker 1: this after testing every productivity trick in the book. So 14 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: we built a company that creates this same environment for you, 15 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: no matter where you are or what time of day 16 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 1: it is. Focus Mate helps you to connect with someone 17 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: else for a productive fifty minute work session where you 18 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,720 Speaker 1: both join each other online to help each other complete 19 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:15,040 Speaker 1: a focused work session. So how can working with someone 20 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: online who's not a colleague boost your productivity? My name 21 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: is doctor Amantha Imba. I'm an organizational psychologist and the 22 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,640 Speaker 1: founder of behavioral science consultancy invent him and this is 23 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: how I work a show about how to help you 24 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: do your best work. Having founded a technology company that 25 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: is all about focus, I assumed that Taylor would value 26 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: his deep work time, so I wanted to know specifically 27 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: what was Taylor's approach to doing deep focused work. 28 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: I have found that just creating big stretches of time 29 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 2: is really important for me. It sort of takes up 30 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 2: to make the pressure off of me of how fast 31 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 2: I need to get warmed up and revved up and focused. Yeah, 32 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 2: I'll say I've tried like every productivity hack under the sun, 33 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 2: and I guess it was twenty fifteen when I first tried. 34 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 2: I kind of like made up this technique with a friend. 35 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 2: We were both really struggling with deep work, and I 36 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:27,799 Speaker 2: proposed we get on a video call and just keep 37 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 2: each other company and tell each other exactly what we 38 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 2: were going to do, and that technique, which you know 39 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,160 Speaker 2: we've now dubbed virtual coworking, it just really works for me. 40 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 2: I struggle with anxiety at times, and there's something about 41 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: connecting with another person that is really grounding for the 42 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:49,440 Speaker 2: nervous system. Kind of just like feeling normal for a 43 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 2: moment to just share hey here, like here's what I'm 44 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 2: going to do, what are you going to do? And 45 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,200 Speaker 2: then kind of being in it together even though we're 46 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 2: each working on our own thing. Those techniques have they 47 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 2: really originate even in like college for me, where I 48 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 2: didn't realize it at the time, but my core strategy 49 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 2: for getting good grades in college was like, let me 50 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 2: find a class where I know somebody who's smarter than 51 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 2: me and I can study with them. And I really 52 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,520 Speaker 2: I did that religiously every and if I didn't know somebody, 53 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: I'd try to make friends with somebody that I could 54 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 2: study with. So, you know, there's a bunch of things 55 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,799 Speaker 2: that I do, but overwhelmingly that is the most effective 56 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 2: thing that I do. As I set up a virtual 57 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 2: coworking appointment with somebody else and it just gets me 58 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,639 Speaker 2: super dialed in. 59 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 3: And how long would that appointment go for? 60 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 2: Well, that first time I tried it, we did it 61 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 2: for two hours, which was great. You know, when we 62 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 2: spun up the first version of Focus Maate and Focus 63 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 2: MAT's my Business, we did it for seventy five minutes. 64 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 2: That sort of felt a little more approachable, and since 65 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: then we've actually scaled it down. So we have two 66 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 2: options now for either twenty five minutes or fifty minutes. 67 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. For me, fifty minutes is usually my 68 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 2: go to when I really want to knock some stuff out. 69 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 2: But if I'm feeling a lot of resistance and I'm 70 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 2: just like, okay, you can handle twenty five minutes, like 71 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 2: you could just do like two emails or whatever, that 72 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,119 Speaker 2: accessibility can also be really good to just to get 73 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,040 Speaker 2: me rolling, and then it's you know, I can I 74 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 2: can do more of them. That's kind of one of 75 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:18,760 Speaker 2: the benefits of Focus Mate, right, is like you don't 76 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 2: have to reach out to a friend to coordinate all 77 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 2: the time. You just go and you you schedule an appointment. 78 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 2: So I've sort of and I'm really I'm not trying 79 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 2: to sell this thing, but I literally do rely on 80 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: it like life or death. So yeah, you know, once 81 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,080 Speaker 2: I get the momentum going, I'm like, all right, I 82 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 2: can book a few more sessions. And so sometimes I 83 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 2: can put in a good you know, four or five 84 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: hours that way of just booking them back to back 85 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 2: or take a little break and then get back to it. 86 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,680 Speaker 1: And for those that haven't come across Focus Mate can 87 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: you describe, like, what is the concept? 88 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 3: How does it work? 89 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 2: Very simply, you and another community member get paired up 90 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 2: for a video call where you sit quote unquote side 91 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: by side and you keep each other company and you 92 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,720 Speaker 2: hold each other accountable while you each work on your 93 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 2: own work using focus Mate is going to the website 94 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,720 Speaker 2: and you log in and it's a calendar that shows 95 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 2: all of your appointments, and so you just decide, you know, 96 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 2: this is when I want to be working, and you 97 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,800 Speaker 2: book an appointment at that time, and we take care 98 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 2: of the rest. We find you the right person based 99 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 2: on your preferences, and you just show up and you 100 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 2: join the video call, and in the first minute you 101 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,679 Speaker 2: greet your partner. You know, Hiamantha, what are you working 102 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 2: on today? And you'll tell me what you're working on 103 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,919 Speaker 2: and you'll say, okay, Taylor, what are you working on today? 104 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 2: And I'll say, you know, I'm trying to get to 105 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:47,240 Speaker 2: inbox zero. I'm going to do as many emails as 106 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 2: I can, and then we just get to work. People 107 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,880 Speaker 2: will often use their microphones and kind of drag their 108 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,159 Speaker 2: partner off to the side of their screen, or they'll 109 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 2: have their partner on a separate device so they can 110 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 2: keep them there sort of next to their mean screen workspace. 111 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 2: And at the end of the session, whether it's twenty 112 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 2: five minutes or fifty minutes, a bell goes off and 113 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 2: then we come back and I say, you know, how 114 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: to go, Amantha, how'd you do on your whatever? And 115 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 2: you know, you say, oh, it went pretty well. I 116 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 2: got distracted for like a minute in the middle there, 117 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: but not a big deal. And you asked me how 118 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 2: to go for you tailor, and oh, I think I 119 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 2: got through like eight emails. Felt great. And then we 120 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 2: say thanks goodbye, and you know, and we go off 121 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:31,560 Speaker 2: on our day. 122 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: That's interesting. My team and I inventance. There's about ten 123 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: of us. We try something similar. We call it what 124 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 1: do we call it, like virtual deep caves or something 125 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: like that, where we. 126 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 3: Basically book out. It's typically a. 127 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,280 Speaker 1: One and a half to two hour time period and 128 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: everyone in the team is invited, although probably about half 129 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: to two thirds will actually attend, just due to coordinating. 130 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 3: Diaries and someone will facilitate it. 131 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: We'll do a little like round the virtual table to 132 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: talk about what we're working on. Then we'll get into work. 133 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,520 Speaker 1: Our cameras will be switched on which kind of makes 134 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: you feel accountable, like you can't just go off and 135 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: make multiple cups of tea or something. And then we'll 136 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: have a halfway check in where we'll talk about how 137 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,280 Speaker 1: we're all going, and then we'll get back to work, 138 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,800 Speaker 1: and then we'll do a little wrap up at the end. 139 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 1: And I must say I love those sessions. I mean, 140 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 1: if any of my team are listening, we don't do 141 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: them often enough. I feel like once a fortnight, and 142 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: I'd be loving them if they're like once. 143 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 3: Every couple of days, because I just get so much 144 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 3: work done. 145 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: And tell me, like, what are the behavioral triggers that 146 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: this kind of idea is tapping into. 147 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I can hear you smiling as you as 148 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: you think about it. And that's kind of a good 149 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 2: segue in terms of the behavioral triggers, because we can 150 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 2: get into some of the details of specific triggers, meaning, hey, 151 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 2: there's research that's validated this thing, and here's what it's 152 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: called according to these studies, blah blah blah. Right, but 153 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 2: if we just take a step back, all of it, 154 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 2: I think, or a great deal of the science of 155 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 2: it is is just based on the fact that we're 156 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,800 Speaker 2: tribal animals, that were social animals, that were mammals, pack animals. 157 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: That's how our brains work, it's our bodies work. That's 158 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 2: how our nervous system is optimized to function. So that's 159 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 2: why it works. As we're tapping into just human nature basically, 160 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 2: is we work better when we're you know, playing as 161 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,200 Speaker 2: part of a team or a tribe or what have you. 162 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 2: So you know, just for example, you know, and this 163 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,839 Speaker 2: one is sort of the like the obvious, but there 164 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: are studies that show that if you are in the 165 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 2: room with another person while you're performing a task, your 166 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 2: performance increases pretty pretty pretty straightforward. You know, there's research 167 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 2: that shows if you tell another person what you're going 168 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 2: to do, your performance increases. There's some other cool stuff, 169 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 2: and one of my favorites is is actually the reflection 170 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,599 Speaker 2: that we do at the end. There's a little celebration 171 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 2: and reflection at the end, and actually both of those 172 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: are impactful. So you know, celebration provides some dopamine, right, 173 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,240 Speaker 2: so it really reinforces what we just did, create some 174 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,840 Speaker 2: more momentum. But then also reflection. You know, there's there's 175 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 2: two types of work quote unquote. One is executive function, 176 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 2: and the other is reflective function. And I think societally 177 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: we're pretty obsessed with the executive function thing, which is 178 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 2: like what we think of as getting things done. We 179 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: don't necessarily think of even writing our to do list 180 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 2: is like it's not part of getting things done in 181 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 2: a sense. It you know, it feels like prep work 182 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 2: or something like that. But it turns out that reflection 183 00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 2: is extremely valuable in making us more productive. So even 184 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 2: just taking sixty seconds at the end of a coworking 185 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 2: session to just talk about how it went, it's just 186 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 2: a moment of awareness, but doing it right then is 187 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 2: really valuable. Yeah. 188 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: Now I want to talk about to do lists, which 189 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: you just mentioned. Can you tell me your approach to 190 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 1: structuring your own to do lists? 191 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. It's like evolved so much over the years, 192 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 2: and I finally have a system that I really love, 193 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 2: you know. But I'll caveat by saying, like, I think 194 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 2: everyone has to experiment to find what worked for them. 195 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: So I store like my big, you know, everything list 196 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: I keep on the computer, but I don't use that 197 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 2: as a to do list because I just find it 198 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 2: too distracting to like be going into the computer for everything. 199 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:55,120 Speaker 2: I really like having something handwritten that only lives for 200 00:10:55,240 --> 00:11:00,559 Speaker 2: that day. So I keep a stack of like used paper, 201 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:05,560 Speaker 2: you know, blank on one side at my workspace, and 202 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 2: every day I divide that into six sections. So I 203 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,720 Speaker 2: put a line down the center vertically, and then two 204 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 2: lines horizontally, so I have six spaces and the left 205 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 2: half is personal and the right half is work. And 206 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 2: you know, personal is just like anything that's not related 207 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 2: to the company. But I put it on the left 208 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 2: because I just have so much I would say, like 209 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 2: patterning around deferring self care, you know, to be like, oh, 210 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,679 Speaker 2: I'll do that like after my work day, and you know, 211 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's aging or what, but at 212 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 2: some point you realize, like that is a losing proposition. 213 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 2: So I just put it on the left, which for 214 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,800 Speaker 2: me kind of indicates priority, and work stuff on the right, 215 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 2: and then the three vertical sections. The top section is 216 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 2: the one thing I must do, and I'm very strict 217 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 2: about this is it's just one thing so that I'm 218 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:16,560 Speaker 2: not kind of like hopping around, and I don't candidly, 219 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 2: I don't always do that one thing first, but at 220 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 2: least that's the intention, and it's I find it very 221 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 2: valuable to just take the step of deciding what is 222 00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:27,320 Speaker 2: the most important one thing and writing it down in 223 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 2: its own special top row. The second row, and these 224 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,880 Speaker 2: apply to both the left side and the right side, 225 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 2: personal and work. The second row, if you will, is 226 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: usually one to three secondary priorities, personal and work again, 227 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: and it's sort of okay, if I've finished the primary, 228 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 2: then I can go check out the secondary. And then 229 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 2: the third row, the bottom row, is I just consider 230 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 2: bonus items. And you know, it's rare that I'll ever 231 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 2: get to the bonus items, but sometimes I just have 232 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 2: so much resistance to doing something that is higher up 233 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 2: on the list that it's nice to have something that 234 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,440 Speaker 2: I've said, this is important enough that it's going to 235 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 2: make the paper list today. So even if I'm feeling 236 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 2: distracted and i want to do something that's in the 237 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: bonus list, it's still important. So it's kind of my 238 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 2: like freebee to procrastinate productively, if you will. 239 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: I'm curious about the personal column. I think that's a 240 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: really interesting idea. And I know for me, for example, 241 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: yesterday was a public holiday in Melvin and it was 242 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: really sunny outside. 243 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 3: And I did go for a couple of books and 244 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 3: saw some friends. 245 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 1: But I also spend hours reading on the catch, and 246 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: it was weird, Like you know, it's always weird when 247 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: it's a public holiday, it's a week day, and I think, 248 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 1: particularly when you run your own business, sort of feel like, well, 249 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: every weekday I should be working. And I felt very 250 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 1: indulgent and mildly guilty just literally spending hours reading yesterday, 251 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: and fiction not nonfiction. So I'm curious, what are some 252 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: of the things that would make your personal list? 253 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: I mean pleasure reading totally for sure, could literally anything 254 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 2: like it could be taking a nap, going for a walk, 255 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 2: working out, calling a friend. Yeah, reading. You didn't really 256 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 2: ask this, but I'll just say it because it's a 257 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 2: big kind of mental complex that I've had to work 258 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 2: through over time. Is like I usually use indulgent as 259 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 2: a reason to like categorize something as not productive. It's 260 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 2: like a it's like a knock against that thing. And 261 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 2: you know, me five years ago, I wouldn't write that 262 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 2: thing down. You know, there was like a judgment against it. 263 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 2: And you know, at this point and I've really flipped 264 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 2: that totally where it's like if it sounds indulgent, it's 265 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 2: probably a really good idea for me to do it, 266 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 2: and like it's and therefore I should write it down. 267 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: And I know you think quite deliberately about how you 268 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 1: actually word the tasks. 269 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 3: Can you tell me a bit about that? 270 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I like to say as I 271 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,120 Speaker 2: write my tasks, like I'm giving instructions to a robot, 272 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 2: meaning I want to do all the hard work of 273 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 2: thinking about what this task is upfront, so that when 274 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 2: I see it on the page, it's not obtuse and 275 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 2: I'm not confused about what it is, because gosh, even 276 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 2: if I wrote like call my brother, that's pretty specific. 277 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 2: You know, it implies a few important things about the task. 278 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 2: But to me, that would still be it would still 279 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: cause me to procrass, because I would in that moment 280 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 2: I would have to ask myself why am I calling 281 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 2: my brother, like what's the topic of conversation? Or am 282 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 2: I calling just you know, to hang out or and 283 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 2: you know, candidly, I will get lazy about this sometimes, 284 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 2: but whenever I get lazy about it, I just find 285 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 2: myself putting off those tasks. So you know, I could 286 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 2: just say call my brother to like, oh, talk about 287 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 2: vacation plan, right, and now I'm like, oh, okay, I 288 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,280 Speaker 2: know what that is, like the sense of its level 289 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 2: of importance, and it's also its meaning to me. It 290 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 2: just immediately registers and I don't have to do that 291 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 2: like cognitive lift when I'm reading the to do list, 292 00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:48,920 Speaker 2: which I found is it's hard for me to overstate 293 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 2: the importance of that in me actually doing the things 294 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 2: on my list. 295 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: What about the tasks that are more complex, like do 296 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: you break them down? 297 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,400 Speaker 3: How does that work? 298 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 2: That's a great question. I'll actually put a task that 299 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 2: says like outline next steps on you know, blody block project. 300 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 2: So and I'm like, oh, well, yeah, obviously this I 301 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 2: can't do this three month project this morning, but what 302 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:20,640 Speaker 2: I can do is figure out what the next steps are. 303 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 2: So yeah, that's it's something that I at this point, 304 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 2: I guess I do automatically. But that was a huge 305 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,280 Speaker 2: breakthrough for me. It was figuring out, oh, like, you 306 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 2: don't know what to do on this thing, but it's important. 307 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,719 Speaker 2: Then the first step is figure out, you know, right, 308 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 2: the next five steps on this project or right whatever 309 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:41,520 Speaker 2: steps you can identify. That's a great action item for 310 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 2: anything that anything that just feels a little overwhelming. R 311 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 2: abtuse that's always that's always the first step for me. 312 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 1: We will be back with Taylor in a moment and 313 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:59,159 Speaker 1: learning about why he decided to drop his morning ritel 314 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: and what he does now instead. And if you're looking 315 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: for even more tips to improve the way that you work, 316 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool 317 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,400 Speaker 1: things that I've discovered that helped me work better, which 318 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: range from interesting research findings through to gadgets and software 319 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,120 Speaker 1: that I'm loving. You can sign up for that at 320 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:23,959 Speaker 1: Howiwork dot co. That's how I work dot co. I 321 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: know you're big on rituals. Tell me what your mornings 322 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,399 Speaker 1: look like at the moment. 323 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:40,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm laughing because you know, I went through I 324 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,119 Speaker 2: don't know ten years where I was really religious about 325 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 2: my morning routine and I don't have one right now. 326 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 2: I mean there's you know, basic hygiene is pretty recognized. 327 00:18:52,440 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 2: But yeah, you know, the evolution of that was like, first, 328 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 2: I just knew I needed to have this ritual in 329 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 2: order to do these things because I would get too 330 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 2: wrapped up in all the things that I needed to 331 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:19,199 Speaker 2: do that day. You know, I could easily just find myself. Oh, 332 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,879 Speaker 2: let me just like check my email real quickly, or like, 333 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 2: let me, oh, I'm like, I got some inspiration about 334 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 2: this thing that I was working on yesterday. Let me 335 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 2: like just knock it out. It'll only take twenty minutes, 336 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 2: you know. And then three hours later, I'm like, oh, 337 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 2: you know, like hungry in my back hurts and blah 338 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,719 Speaker 2: blah blah because I just haven't taken care of myself. 339 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 2: So I just found that being like sanctimonious about my 340 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,719 Speaker 2: morning routine was really important to just get my well being, 341 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 2: you know, my headspace, my body taken care of enough 342 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 2: that I could be productive. And for years, it was 343 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 2: really you know, I'm kind of like loath to admit this, 344 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,080 Speaker 2: but it was just getting myself like back to zero 345 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:09,119 Speaker 2: because I was grinding so hard that I really needed 346 00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 2: that to like, I need to do this twenty minutes 347 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:13,880 Speaker 2: of stretching and yoga just so that I can sit 348 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,439 Speaker 2: at my desk for the rest of the day. But 349 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 2: it was really like treating myself like a race car 350 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 2: that I just was trying to get back out on 351 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 2: the track as soon as I could. And you know, 352 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,840 Speaker 2: I suppose I've just had enough aches and pains and 353 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 2: injuries and stuff that I realized that M dynamic wasn't 354 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 2: working for me. And so, you know, over time, I've 355 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 2: just and I'll say really, during the pandemic, I really 356 00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 2: slowed down that routine and started to kind of widen 357 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 2: the aperture to be like, Okay, I'm not going to 358 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 2: start work until and you know, I experimented with making 359 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 2: it later and later and later, and I started viewing 360 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 2: my mornings more of like a menu of options of 361 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:09,639 Speaker 2: you know, since you said it earlier, like indulgent things 362 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 2: that I could do for kind of as long as 363 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 2: I wanted. You know, I would often wake up pretty 364 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 2: early five thirty six o'clock and have four plus hours 365 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 2: to you know, go to the park and work out 366 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 2: and just sit on a bench and you know, do whatever, 367 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:35,040 Speaker 2: do nothing. I've I've learned how to do nothing, which 368 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:37,160 Speaker 2: sounds funny to say, but it's it was a real 369 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,000 Speaker 2: learning curve for me. 370 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,679 Speaker 1: How about ending your day? Do you do you have 371 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:42,680 Speaker 1: a consistent way of how your days end. 372 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: One of the healthier ways that I have ended my 373 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,920 Speaker 2: day is I've I've done a lot of intermittent fasting 374 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 2: where I stop eating at seven o'clock and so I'm 375 00:21:55,480 --> 00:22:01,160 Speaker 2: pretty intentional about eating between six and seven and then 376 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 2: and then after dinner, like taking a walk, meditating, reading, uh, 377 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,120 Speaker 2: watching Netflix. I'm not gonna lie. And I've also used 378 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 2: coworking as a really healthy way to punctuate the day 379 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 2: as well, Like there's something about the timer went off, 380 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: like that's the end of the coworking session. This was I, 381 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 2: you know, decided this was my last session of the day. 382 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,439 Speaker 2: That also really helps me transition into just you know, 383 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:28,160 Speaker 2: winding down. 384 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:28,680 Speaker 3: Now. 385 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,199 Speaker 1: I know that something that you've done for quite a 386 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 1: while is be part of a men's group. 387 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 3: Can you tell me about what this men's group involves? 388 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, oh gosh, it's you know, I guess when 389 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,400 Speaker 2: I first kind of conceptualized of it and the men's 390 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 2: group I'm part of, I did not start to be clear, 391 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,760 Speaker 2: but it's I have started men's groups that i've that 392 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,400 Speaker 2: I've been in and it's sort of been a very 393 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 2: important part of my life for a long time. It 394 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 2: was like I just wanted to have a team of 395 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 2: people that were really deeply intimately in my life, in 396 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,800 Speaker 2: my corner like all the time I started a group 397 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,439 Speaker 2: that was really impactful in my life. And then and 398 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:25,960 Speaker 2: then a friend started a group that really took it 399 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 2: even to another level, and we operate in three month 400 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 2: cycles during which we initially we spend three weeks discerning 401 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 2: what is the edge that we want to work or 402 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,199 Speaker 2: what is the breakthrough that we want to create in 403 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 2: our lives. And it's a very holistic look at who 404 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,159 Speaker 2: we are being in our lives. It's not about oh, 405 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 2: I want to make more money. That certainly can be 406 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 2: connected to it, but it's it's really like, what are 407 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,800 Speaker 2: parts of yourself that you are not connected to right now. 408 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,760 Speaker 2: So the first three weeks we are really getting in 409 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 2: each other's you know, getting in there and and really 410 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 2: helping surface that edge that's both exciting and a bit 411 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 2: terrifying or maybe a lot terrifying, but just feels like, 412 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,960 Speaker 2: oh yeah, that's that's the good stuff. And then we're 413 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,640 Speaker 2: turning that into a goal that that's a smart goal, 414 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 2: meaning it's it's it's a very tangible, measurable goal, and 415 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 2: we work on that for the next four weeks of 416 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 2: the quarter, and we we literally check in every day 417 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,680 Speaker 2: to commit to what we're doing the next day and 418 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 2: whether we did the thing that we committed to the 419 00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:49,480 Speaker 2: previous day, if we miss, we get on a call 420 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,920 Speaker 2: the next day to talk about what happened. So there's 421 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,640 Speaker 2: a there's a strong degree of integrity and being who 422 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,000 Speaker 2: we say we're going to be. And then if we 423 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: if we fail like finding out what what's that about? 424 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 2: What's going on that you're not showing up in your 425 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 2: life the way that you wanted to, then we have 426 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,399 Speaker 2: a three week integration period where we take all the 427 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 2: learnings from that four week sort of execute phase and 428 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,879 Speaker 2: we make some iterations and sort of say, okay, we 429 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,119 Speaker 2: we might need to based on all the stuff that 430 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 2: we learned. Here's what worked, Here's what didn't work. Let 431 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 2: me try to kind of like tie this into how 432 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 2: I want to show up in my life after this 433 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,959 Speaker 2: very high accountability phase is over so that it can 434 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:35,840 Speaker 2: be sustainable. And then the final three weeks of the 435 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 2: quarter is like going totally dark offline. You know, we 436 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,719 Speaker 2: call it winter to just to not do you know 437 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 2: the yin to the yang. 438 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 4: So to speak, And how do you build that trust 439 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 4: and intimacy right at the start, because I would imagine 440 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 4: it's a very different dynamic if it's a group of 441 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 4: men versus a group. 442 00:25:55,600 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 2: Of women, yeah, or mixed you know, yeah, we've we've 443 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 2: chosen you know that there's you know, obviously gender is 444 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,760 Speaker 2: a fluid thing, and so you know that I have 445 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 2: some sensitivity in talking about this. But there are let's say, 446 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 2: issues that are shared to the exploration of masculinity for 447 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 2: male identifying people in society and and also femininity for 448 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 2: male identifying people in society, and and so there's some 449 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 2: some level of intentional h what I'll call like caucusing, 450 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:37,199 Speaker 2: meaning like, hey, we want to be intentional about the 451 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 2: things we have in common that help create some safety 452 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 2: here or help make it a little easier to talk 453 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 2: about some of these really vulnerable things. It's certainly also 454 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 2: very very curated. This isn't like a go online and 455 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 2: sign up for a group and we'll place you in 456 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 2: a group sort of thing. It's uh, yeah, we're very 457 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:02,360 Speaker 2: deliberate about you know, who is this a really good 458 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 2: fit for? And then you know, there's just very clear 459 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,320 Speaker 2: commitments to for example, what we call clearing charges. So 460 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 2: a charge is like any sort of negative emotion that 461 00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 2: you feel kind of in the field between you and 462 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 2: another person. So I'm like, oh, you know, Amantha, she 463 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 2: was late to this call that we had and it 464 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:31,640 Speaker 2: just left me feeling a little yucky. And it's only 465 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 2: a two out of ten, but I better just reach 466 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:38,400 Speaker 2: out to her and and so we'll have immediately a 467 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:43,880 Speaker 2: call where another man will come and help facilitate that 468 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 2: conversation to clear the charge. So that we're constantly keeping 469 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 2: the container, if you will, we're keeping it really clean. 470 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 3: Wow, So how would that conversation work? That's really interesting At. 471 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 2: A high level, it is about the person who feels 472 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 2: the charge taking completely responsibility and really looking at themselves 473 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:10,199 Speaker 2: rather than saying, oh, you did me wrong. So the 474 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 2: structure is basically, here's the facts of what happened, here's 475 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:21,440 Speaker 2: the emotions that that brought up for me, and here's 476 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 2: how I can see myself in this, like, you know, 477 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:30,199 Speaker 2: here's how there's sort of this this theory that like 478 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:34,359 Speaker 2: basically all emotion that we experienced due to other people 479 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 2: is some type of projection. Right, So we really say, 480 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,680 Speaker 2: you know, here's how I do the thing that I 481 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 2: got pissed off that you did and really get to 482 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 2: see like, oh, I have this judgment about myself and 483 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 2: so when you did this it, you know, it brought 484 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,240 Speaker 2: up anger. So it really becomes an opportunity to build 485 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:00,640 Speaker 2: some self awareness as well. 486 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 1: What are some examples of goals that you would have 487 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: for you know, this this three month period. 488 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 2: So last quarter. You know, I've alluded to this that 489 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:15,440 Speaker 2: like a theme of my life right now is really 490 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:22,959 Speaker 2: being more intuitive, right, So my my goal was to 491 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 2: go on a certain number of what I called soul romps, 492 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: which was just committing to I had some shorter ones 493 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 2: and some longer ones that I committed to. So there's like, 494 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 2: over the course of four weeks, I committed to four 495 00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 2: four hour soul romps where I couldn't be on technology, 496 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:47,160 Speaker 2: and I want to say, I couldn't be at my 497 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 2: apartment either, you know, and I just had to tune in, 498 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 2: you know. So I could like pack my backpack with 499 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 2: books in a yoga matt and uh, you know, just 500 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,360 Speaker 2: think about what I wanted to do, and I could 501 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 2: wind up like going to a park and just taking 502 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,680 Speaker 2: a nap like on my yoga matt, you know, or 503 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 2: some days I like took a scooter and went to 504 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 2: the beach. But really, yeah, just being in the practice 505 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 2: of like what is my how does my soul wanna 506 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 2: want to ramp? Today? 507 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:18,320 Speaker 3: Wow? 508 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: Taylor For people that want to connect with you and 509 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: focus Mate in some way. What is the best way 510 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: for people to do that? 511 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you can sign up for free at focusmate 512 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,520 Speaker 2: dot com, f O C U, S M A t 513 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 2: E dot com and you can find me. Best is 514 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:45,120 Speaker 2: Twitter and LinkedIn, where I'm just you know, forward slash 515 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 2: Taylor Jacobson. 516 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,640 Speaker 3: Fantastic Taylor. 517 00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: I've loved this chat and I'm feeling very inspired to 518 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 1: talk to my team about scheduling more out about virtual 519 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 1: deep cave. 520 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 3: So thank you so much for your time. 521 00:30:58,240 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks so much for having me Amantha. 522 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: Well, I must say after this interview with Taylor, I 523 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: felt really inspired to double down on working with an 524 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: accountability partner. It's something that I've done quite a bit 525 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: with the team at invent Him, where we do our 526 00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: virtual caves about once a month, sometimes twice a month, 527 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,800 Speaker 1: where a bunch of us will log onto Google hangouts 528 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,920 Speaker 1: and we will all just silently work. But I even 529 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:29,360 Speaker 1: did a bit of accountability partner working a couple of 530 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,520 Speaker 1: days ago with my partner and found that the hard 531 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 1: thinking work that I had to do became so much 532 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 1: easier just having someone else there with me. So that 533 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:42,479 Speaker 1: is it for today's show. If you're enjoying How I Work, 534 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 1: why not leave a review for the show wherever you're 535 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: listening to this from. Generally, all that involves is clicking 536 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: onto star, rating and writing some words if you're enjoying 537 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: How I Work, and thank you in advance if you 538 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: choose to do that. How I Work is produced by 539 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: Inventim with production support from Dead Said Studios. The producer 540 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: for this episode was Liam Riordan, and thank you to 541 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: Martin Nimba who does the audio mix for every episode 542 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 1: and makes everything sound better than it would have otherwise. 543 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: See you next time.