WEBVTT - Polyamory & Equity

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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<v Speaker 1>the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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<v Speaker 1>we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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<v Speaker 1>would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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<v Speaker 1>of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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<v Speaker 1>acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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<v Speaker 1>through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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<v Speaker 1>and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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<v Speaker 1>today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 3>She's on the Money. She's on the Money.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, and welcome to She's on the Muney, the podcast

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<v Speaker 2>for millennials who want financial freedom. Today, my friends, it

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<v Speaker 2>is Friday, which means I get to round up the team,

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<v Speaker 2>which this week is only Miss Jessica Ricci. Hello, and

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<v Speaker 2>we get to talk about our incredible She's on the

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<v Speaker 2>Money community. Today, we're going to be sharing our favorite

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<v Speaker 2>money wins. We don't have a broke tip because Beck

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<v Speaker 2>has bailed on us. We're going to be answering a

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<v Speaker 2>juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about pay

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<v Speaker 2>parody for the same job, and we're going to be

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<v Speaker 2>unpacking something you slid into our DMS about which this

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<v Speaker 2>week is finance in a polyamorous relationship. But let's start

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<v Speaker 2>off the podcast, Jessica by asking you how your week was.

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<v Speaker 4>It's been a roller coaster this week. I've been identity thief, thefted, stolen.

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<v Speaker 4>My identity is stolen on the audes Instagram, on Instagram,

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<v Speaker 4>yet not like my credit card in fish or anything.

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<v Speaker 2>Yet they're closed.

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<v Speaker 4>Don't even put the juju out there. That's so stressful,

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<v Speaker 4>But just a little posa to anybody. There is a really,

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<v Speaker 4>really good fake account. They have stolen two months worth

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<v Speaker 4>of my content, videos, posts, They've copied all of my.

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<v Speaker 2>Story highlight, one thousand followers.

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<v Speaker 4>They've copied the number of followers that I like. It

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<v Speaker 4>is as good as a fake.

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<v Speaker 2>Really similar, really and it is Jessica with two eyes

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<v Speaker 2>instead of one. And you'll use a name. And what

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<v Speaker 2>are they trying to do, jess Trying to get.

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<v Speaker 4>People to buy crypto of all the things that they.

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<v Speaker 2>Could do, I just and I feel like most of

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<v Speaker 2>our community is smart enough to realize that that's not

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<v Speaker 2>a thing, or that you've been hacked if they do

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<v Speaker 2>think it's your real account. But I thought it was

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<v Speaker 2>very funny because someone slid into my DMS earlier this week, Jess,

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<v Speaker 2>and they were trying to do a little welfare check

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<v Speaker 2>on you because they were like, hey, they I hope

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<v Speaker 2>this is okay to message you, but I think justice

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<v Speaker 2>going off the rails. Oh my gosh, she's trying to

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<v Speaker 2>sell me crypto via DMS. And I had to be like,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not yes. Like so if anybody in the she's

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<v Speaker 2>on the money team, you think ever messages you, especially

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<v Speaker 2>to purchase anything.

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<v Speaker 4>We will never.

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<v Speaker 2>We have never asked you to purchase anything in DMS.

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<v Speaker 2>We are dming you. It's probably because we know each other.

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<v Speaker 2>So I would be really wary of any account. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't care who it is or where it is. If

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<v Speaker 2>they are messaging you and you've had nothing to do

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<v Speaker 2>with them before and then all of a sudden they're

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<v Speaker 2>trying to introduce you to an opportunity, massive red flags.

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<v Speaker 4>Be so skeptical. They're so sophisticated nowadays, And I feel like,

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<v Speaker 4>even just choosing the two eyes in the username, You're like,

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<v Speaker 4>because I thought it was you.

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<v Speaker 2>Your eyes just skip over them you tried to scam me.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, you've tried to scam me, and I.

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<v Speaker 4>Was like, sis, not today, let me teach you a

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<v Speaker 4>thing or two about finance.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't lead them down the garden path, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, wow, Jessica, that sounds so interesting. Please tell

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<v Speaker 2>me more time. Can I wait until I got the

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<v Speaker 2>link to the bitcoin sign up And essentially what they're

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<v Speaker 2>trying to do is get you to buy bitcoin, then

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<v Speaker 2>give them your login details so they can steal it.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh my godness, So yeah, please be hereful. We would

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<v Speaker 4>never ever ever do that. If you're feeling generous and

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<v Speaker 4>would like to report the page, we've been trying really

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<v Speaker 4>hard to get it taken down. Turns out that's really

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<v Speaker 4>challenging to do. More people who report it, the better.

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<v Speaker 4>But otherwise you can always dam mus and double check.

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<v Speaker 4>All of our normal accounts are just our names, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>all of our official accounts, Victoria's account and the shes

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<v Speaker 4>and money accounts all verified, so also look out for that.

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<v Speaker 2>I just don't have the time to scam you. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>really sorry. Like, if that's ites, I'm so glad that

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<v Speaker 2>you found the time. But like, she's a busy lady,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna have to up your work, Cloath.

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<v Speaker 4>How has your week been.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been good. I mean I got scammed by Jessica

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<v Speaker 2>Ricky and I got to watch the Matilda's So that's

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<v Speaker 2>a ten out of ten week for me. Let's jump

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<v Speaker 2>into our favorite part of the week, jess I want

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<v Speaker 2>to know what have you pulled out of the community

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<v Speaker 2>to be our money wins of the week.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, my first money win this week comes from Teresa

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<v Speaker 4>who said money win. My partner didn't get a tax bills.

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<v Speaker 4>The money we'd put aside for a potential bill we

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<v Speaker 4>paid the equivalent to almost six payments off of our

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<v Speaker 4>car loans. Say they got almost six months of interest

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<v Speaker 4>over the course of the loan. Money win, money win.

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<v Speaker 4>And it is that time where people getting tax refunds,

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<v Speaker 4>so good reminder. Think about what you can do with

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<v Speaker 4>it and where the buying that new pair of shoes

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<v Speaker 4>is the right choice. It could be. I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 4>it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>I just think there's a lot going on online at

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<v Speaker 2>the moment just about girl math, yes, and how that

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<v Speaker 2>can be taken into consideration. And I think it's really

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<v Speaker 2>funny because I can see both sides of the argument, right,

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<v Speaker 2>I can see girl math makes sense, Like if I

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<v Speaker 2>was gifted a gift card for a coffee shop, that's

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<v Speaker 2>free money to me, that's free coffee. That's exactly how

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<v Speaker 2>that works. But I think a lot of people are

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<v Speaker 2>extending that thought and feeling to money that they hadn't

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<v Speaker 2>expected to come in, like your tax return, and they

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<v Speaker 2>might get an extra thousand dollars. And instead of putting

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<v Speaker 2>yourself in a better financial position, what you're doing is

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<v Speaker 2>girl mathing it away and going, oh, well, actually I'm

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<v Speaker 2>going to spend this on a few dresses or I

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<v Speaker 2>deserve XYZ without really thinking a future you. So girl

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<v Speaker 2>math trend kind of funny because like we've all done it.

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<v Speaker 2>But I also think it's really stereotyping women into not

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<v Speaker 2>being good at money, not being smart at money, and

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<v Speaker 2>like being like, oh my gosh, hahaha, women don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what they're talking about. It's girl it makes sense because

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<v Speaker 2>clearly it doesn't make sense. That's why we're saying it.

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<v Speaker 2>We're laughing at ourselves. But hopefully we're laughing at ourselves

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<v Speaker 2>because we know we're better than that. We know we're

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<v Speaker 2>more intelligent. And I mean, I'm still going to pretend

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<v Speaker 2>I am one of the most financially literate people. Jess,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm she's on the money. You still give me a

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<v Speaker 2>gift card with money on it? Free money? Yeah, relatable,

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<v Speaker 2>But I think we need to have that level of

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<v Speaker 2>financial literacy that goes well, actually, could this go to

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<v Speaker 2>something else? Do I have a solid emergency fund? Am

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<v Speaker 2>I in any personal debt? Maybe it could just be

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<v Speaker 2>a little treaty treat and that's okay, Yeah, but I

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<v Speaker 2>think we need to think about it before we actually

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<v Speaker 2>dive in.

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<v Speaker 4>It was really interesting. We put up a post on

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<v Speaker 4>our Instagram this week about the girl math trend on

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<v Speaker 4>TikTok Yeah, and we very purposely didn't really comment our

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<v Speaker 4>opinion on it, yeah, because we wanted to see what

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<v Speaker 4>happened in the comments.

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<v Speaker 2>We were just waiting to see or were baiting you.

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<v Speaker 2>And it was really.

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<v Speaker 4>Interesting because it kind of lent one of two ways.

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<v Speaker 4>There were people who took it, I guess really from

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<v Speaker 4>a political social perspective and said, Hey, like I hate this.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like we're really demeaning women. I feel like

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<v Speaker 4>it's making implying that women are stupid and don't know

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<v Speaker 4>as much as men. And then there were people who

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<v Speaker 4>were like, oh my god, I do this all the time.

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<v Speaker 4>This is so me and it's really interesting to look

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<v Speaker 4>at because I think, as you said, it's really we

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<v Speaker 4>should be looking at somewhere in the middle, Like, I

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<v Speaker 4>don't think these trends are harmful necessarily because they can

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<v Speaker 4>be a really good way for us to recognize those

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<v Speaker 4>trends and go, oh, that's me whenever I get my

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<v Speaker 4>little gift card.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so good at mean spending. Yeah, you're enabling my

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<v Speaker 2>dopamine spending by giving me a gift card.

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<v Speaker 5>Hell yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>It's one of those things where go, okay, well, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>fine saying yeah, like I've girl baths some things, and

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<v Speaker 4>I'm comfortable using that term. But when it becomes this

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<v Speaker 4>mass thing that people pile on to and it starts

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<v Speaker 4>to get recontextualized or I guess adjusted, and those those

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<v Speaker 4>additional social things get laid over the top. Yeah, and

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<v Speaker 4>that's when you go, oh, like, is it making people

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<v Speaker 4>feel bad because they're talking about something they're not smart?

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<v Speaker 2>Just a funny concept that I think we can all

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<v Speaker 2>relate to, and I mean, boy, Matt Jes, that exists

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred percent of oly math exists. How do the

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<v Speaker 2>groceries get in your cupboard? Steven? How much does a

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<v Speaker 2>round of golf cost? Was not that much according to him.

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<v Speaker 2>But when I looked some rounds of golf for like

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred bucks, and I'm like, wow, wait what he's like?

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<v Speaker 4>If I hit that ball a hundred times, that's a

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<v Speaker 4>dollar a putt?

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<v Speaker 2>Baby, what have you seen? My handy cub like, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 2>There's girl math and there's boy math. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's just a way of saying, sometimes we justify spending

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<v Speaker 2>to ourselves in frivolous ways, and that's okay, but I

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<v Speaker 2>think that we do need to acknowledge that some people

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<v Speaker 2>have taken it as a stereotyping of women, and that's

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<v Speaker 2>not it.

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<v Speaker 4>We're smarter than that. We're talking about it because we

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<v Speaker 4>know agreed, agreed. Next money win that I have comes

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<v Speaker 4>from Nikki, who said money win. I'm away on holidays

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<v Speaker 4>at the moment and bought a travel ethim for fifty dollars,

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<v Speaker 4>saving myself one hundred and fifty dollars in data rooming

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<v Speaker 4>charges from Telstra.

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<v Speaker 2>I love that.

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<v Speaker 4>Got to look into that. If you're planning on traveling. Next,

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<v Speaker 4>I've got Emily who said I am thirty one years

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<v Speaker 4>old and for the first time in my profession life,

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<v Speaker 4>I have just started catching the bus to work.

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<v Speaker 2>Get it clean.

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<v Speaker 4>I will save two hundred dollars a fortnight in parking

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<v Speaker 4>and more in petrol and overall wear and tear on

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<v Speaker 4>my car. And I wish I had done it sooner.

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<v Speaker 2>I saw a video the other day guess where where TikTok,

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<v Speaker 2>obviously because I live on TikTok, but it was a

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<v Speaker 2>video talking about how developed countries seem to have mistaken

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<v Speaker 2>independence and wealth for driving yourself to work, when in

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<v Speaker 2>reality traffic could all be condensed down to three buses.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like small, like you know, or bikes or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>If we were smarter and is the hallmark of being

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<v Speaker 2>a developed country, not being smarter about money and resources

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<v Speaker 2>and making sure that they become more sustainable. So like

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<v Speaker 2>catching the train really sexy? Yeah, like so smart, Like

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<v Speaker 2>if you can definitely do it, catch the train, catch

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<v Speaker 2>the tram, catch the bus. Public transport is incredible and

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<v Speaker 2>I promise it's cheaper than driving. Oh absolutely, this economy.

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<v Speaker 4>Economy, we got to save those pennies where we can Next,

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<v Speaker 4>I've got a money win from Jasmine, who said, I've

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<v Speaker 4>been on a job search recently and I applied for

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<v Speaker 4>a position. Unfortunately I didn't get it. However, in their

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<v Speaker 4>email to me letting me know that I wasn't successful,

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<v Speaker 4>they snug a cheeky little discount in the email for

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<v Speaker 4>me one hundred dollars for applying for a position that

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<v Speaker 4>I wasn't successful for.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, that's a bit of a money win. How random.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry you can't come here but still buy our stuff

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<v Speaker 2>is how I saw that.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm wondering if maybe she meant gift cards, like one

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<v Speaker 4>hundred dollars fift.

0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.840
<v Speaker 2>Card, that would actually be that's really sweet. If that's

0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:33.440
<v Speaker 2>the case, that's what I'm thinking. I'm like, that's kind

0:10:33.480 --> 0:10:35.439
<v Speaker 2>of cool, girl, mass that's free made.

0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:38.960
<v Speaker 4>Next, I've got a money win from Caroline, who said

0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.280
<v Speaker 4>I batch cooked twenty three meals and two lots of three.

0:10:42.600 --> 0:10:46.000
<v Speaker 4>I'll be advertising more items for sale on various internet sides,

0:10:46.040 --> 0:10:48.240
<v Speaker 4>and I'm hoping to reduce my mortgage by an additional

0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.560
<v Speaker 4>ten thousand dollars by the thirty first of December twenty

0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:51.080
<v Speaker 4>twenty three.

0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:55.040
<v Speaker 2>Jessica, when you batch cook things, how many serves are

0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.160
<v Speaker 2>you doing, because like my max is like eight.

0:10:57.679 --> 0:10:59.679
<v Speaker 4>I Caroline, let us know what are you cooking?

0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:03.040
<v Speaker 2>How many they sets of tupware do you own? We're rich, Yeah, you.

0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:06.240
<v Speaker 4>Must have a huge freezer. And then lastly my money

0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.520
<v Speaker 4>in and then my last money in for this week

0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.480
<v Speaker 4>is from Rebecca, who said, money Win. I heard about

0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:13.960
<v Speaker 4>the thing where you call your internet provider directly and

0:11:14.000 --> 0:11:16.560
<v Speaker 4>asked for a better deal and was quite skeptical. Rebecca,

0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:18.800
<v Speaker 4>I'm shocked and offended that you doubted us, she said,

0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:20.560
<v Speaker 4>but hey, I figured the worst they could do.

0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:21.880
<v Speaker 2>We say, no, exactly.

0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.240
<v Speaker 4>I'm glad I tried, though, as I've ended up with

0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.080
<v Speaker 4>a cheaper deal for the next six months.

0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:27.880
<v Speaker 2>Money Win, Money Win.

0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.520
<v Speaker 4>There's a ebook on our website get a better deal,

0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:31.600
<v Speaker 4>a better deal.

0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:33.680
<v Speaker 2>We think we know what we're talking about, and it

0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:35.920
<v Speaker 2>turns out our community have only just caught up to

0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:38.000
<v Speaker 2>backing us. That's all right, So that's very kind, but

0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:41.720
<v Speaker 2>more of you should absolutely make use of that. All right, Jess,

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.920
<v Speaker 2>we don't have the bexbro tip and I don't think

0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:46.080
<v Speaker 2>either of us could fake one. Well, so let's go

0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:47.760
<v Speaker 2>to a really quick break and on the flip side,

0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.760
<v Speaker 2>we're going to talk about pay parody for the same job,

0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.360
<v Speaker 2>and we're also going to be answering a sneaky DM

0:11:53.640 --> 0:12:00.840
<v Speaker 2>all about finances in a polyamorous relationship. So don't go anywhere, guys.

0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:06.360
<v Speaker 2>Welcome back everybody.

0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:10.480
<v Speaker 4>Let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:13.120
<v Speaker 2>Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just

0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:15.720
<v Speaker 2>can't solve. The She's on the Money team is here

0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:18.960
<v Speaker 2>to help. Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big

0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:21.760
<v Speaker 2>and small, to answer your most burning money, career and

0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.000
<v Speaker 2>life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website

0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:27.120
<v Speaker 2>and leave us a short voice recording and you might

0:12:27.200 --> 0:12:29.720
<v Speaker 2>just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a

0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:31.480
<v Speaker 2>listen to this week's money dilemma.

0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:37.040
<v Speaker 5>Hi, She's on the Money. So let's say three people

0:12:37.120 --> 0:12:40.120
<v Speaker 5>do exactly the same job I, who are one of

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:43.360
<v Speaker 5>the people, get paid thirty eight dollars power another gets

0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:46.400
<v Speaker 5>paid forty six dollars an hour, and another fifty dollars

0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.520
<v Speaker 5>an hour, and plot twist they got hired after me.

0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.360
<v Speaker 5>How would you approach your boss with this information and

0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 5>ask for a raise match preferably to the fifty dollars

0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 5>of course, Thank.

0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.000
<v Speaker 2>You, Jessica, I feel like you've got a spicy opinion

0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.360
<v Speaker 2>and on this, what would you do?

0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.640
<v Speaker 4>I mean, I'd be calling somebody up, but I'd be

0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.120
<v Speaker 4>saying this is absolutely not good enough. It's hard to

0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:10.240
<v Speaker 4>navigate though, because I suppose you need to have a

0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.520
<v Speaker 4>look at is there a pay secrecy clause in your contract?

0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 4>Just reminding people that that is, unfortunately still a thing

0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.440
<v Speaker 4>in some places if it was pre existing.

0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.280
<v Speaker 2>If it was pre existing, it can still be enforced,

0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.679
<v Speaker 2>but it's illegal for new contracts. I think a lot

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 2>of people are assuming that because it was made illegal,

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.760
<v Speaker 2>then it null and voids their current contract, which unfortunately

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:29.240
<v Speaker 2>it does not.

0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:29.800
<v Speaker 1>No.

0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.120
<v Speaker 4>So obviously, I'm assuming you've found this out because you've

0:13:32.120 --> 0:13:34.040
<v Speaker 4>had a chat with some of your teammates about what

0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.319
<v Speaker 4>you should be doing. We love to see it all

0:13:36.360 --> 0:13:39.120
<v Speaker 4>about that. Obviously, the difference between thirty six dollars and

0:13:39.120 --> 0:13:41.640
<v Speaker 4>the difference between fifty dollars is astronomical.

0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.000
<v Speaker 2>I did the math. Of course, you did a math,

0:13:44.080 --> 0:13:47.880
<v Speaker 2>be so hypothetically because I'm assuming you're probably in like

0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:50.080
<v Speaker 2>a casual or a part time role, which is fine.

0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:54.440
<v Speaker 2>I've just decided to pretend for the example, i suppose

0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:57.280
<v Speaker 2>that all of these are full time roles. So if

0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.880
<v Speaker 2>you were earning thirty eight dollars an hour, you would

0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:02.520
<v Speaker 2>be on fifty eight thousand dollars a year if we

0:14:02.559 --> 0:14:04.960
<v Speaker 2>annualize that into a full time role. If you're on

0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.520
<v Speaker 2>forty six dollars an hour, you're on sixty nine thousand

0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.120
<v Speaker 2>dollars a year. And if you're on fifty dollars an hour,

0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.880
<v Speaker 2>you're on seventy four thousand dollars a year.

0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.840
<v Speaker 4>Jessica, that's a huge difference from bottom to the top.

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:22.120
<v Speaker 2>Jess annualize that's a difference of sixteen thousand dollars for

0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:24.120
<v Speaker 2>doing the exact same job.

0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 4>Correct. And So I guess the thing that I would

0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:28.920
<v Speaker 4>be doing is approaching your manager or your HR department

0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:32.360
<v Speaker 4>or whatever is relevant to your employment situation. And I

0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 4>would honestly be putting the numbers on the table, and

0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.800
<v Speaker 4>I would be comparing any responsibilities that you have as

0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:42.280
<v Speaker 4>compared to your coworkers, saying, hey, like I do x

0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 4>Y and ZED, Joe does x y and Z, Sally

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.600
<v Speaker 4>does x Y and Z, why are we being paid differently?

0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 4>Because if your role responsibilities are the same, regardless of

0:14:52.440 --> 0:14:55.760
<v Speaker 4>experience and things, it shouldn't make that much of a difference.

0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:59.040
<v Speaker 4>The only time experience or time with the company really

0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:01.560
<v Speaker 4>should come into play is if within those roles you

0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:05.040
<v Speaker 4>have different levels of responsibility. Like if I'm only looking

0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.280
<v Speaker 4>after two tasks and Joe's looking after four, then maybe

0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:10.200
<v Speaker 4>it makes sense for Joe to be earning more than me.

0:15:10.560 --> 0:15:12.960
<v Speaker 4>But otherwise, if we're all doing the same thing, I

0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:15.400
<v Speaker 4>don't see any good reason for someone to be bated

0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:16.000
<v Speaker 4>a much.

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.800
<v Speaker 2>Especially in the situation that you've given us, because the

0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.280
<v Speaker 2>way you've said I earn thirty eight dollars an hour

0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 2>makes me think that it is more of a casual

0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 2>slash part time role. It's not like, oh, Jess and

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:29.160
<v Speaker 2>I are both full time, but Jess has been working

0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:31.520
<v Speaker 2>in the industry ten more years and she's actually super efficient.

0:15:31.560 --> 0:15:34.880
<v Speaker 2>Same roles, but super efficient gets way more done than

0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.720
<v Speaker 2>you know Victoria does, which makes sense. And you know,

0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.400
<v Speaker 2>HI could definitely talk their way out of that and go, well, Jess,

0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:42.200
<v Speaker 2>I see that maybe you've been talking to them, but

0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.040
<v Speaker 2>like their experience really comes into play, and those are

0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:47.800
<v Speaker 2>open ones conversations you should be having with your employer

0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.600
<v Speaker 2>anyway to go, well, you know, what would it take

0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:52.920
<v Speaker 2>for me to get there? Then how does that work?

0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.040
<v Speaker 2>But it's a kick in the guts to be finding

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.040
<v Speaker 2>out that the people that I'm assuming started after you

0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:04.000
<v Speaker 2>and you try are now making more than you. If so, why?

0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:05.000
<v Speaker 4>When? Where?

0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:05.280
<v Speaker 2>How?

0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:05.520
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:16:05.560 --> 0:16:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I want to know all of that. I think the

0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:11.840
<v Speaker 2>conversation from my perspective would actually start around pay parity

0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:15.480
<v Speaker 2>and going all right, well, let's pretend Jess is my boss. Jess,

0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 2>do we have pay parity or cross rolls? What does

0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:20.840
<v Speaker 2>that mean? How does that work? How do you manage that?

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Like?

0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:25.400
<v Speaker 2>Is pay parody something that's important? And they might go, oh, yes,

0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.000
<v Speaker 2>they'll know where you're going with the conversation, but I

0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:31.760
<v Speaker 2>think it really is. It's a touchy conversation, and if

0:16:31.760 --> 0:16:33.320
<v Speaker 2>you're going to have it, I think you need to

0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.600
<v Speaker 2>go into it as educated as possible. So, Jess, if

0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 2>you're walking in the door and you're saying, well, I

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.400
<v Speaker 2>found out that Victoria owns more, well that's great, but

0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>could we have a look at what the industry average

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:47.120
<v Speaker 2>is because you might all be being underpaid. And if

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.800
<v Speaker 2>you're going to go into that for yourself, we need

0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to go into that for the whole hog. Right, We

0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:53.920
<v Speaker 2>need to make sure that maybe they're taking advantage of

0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 2>all of you. Yes, one's being paid even more, but like,

0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:58.960
<v Speaker 2>let's have a look at what the hourly freelance rate is,

0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.360
<v Speaker 2>Let's have a look at what on average people make

0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 2>in this role, just to make sure you're advocating for

0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:07.520
<v Speaker 2>yourself properly. So go do your research, find out, and

0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:10.560
<v Speaker 2>then have that conversation once you've worked out all of

0:17:10.560 --> 0:17:14.080
<v Speaker 2>that information, because it's much harder to say no when cold,

0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.120
<v Speaker 2>hard facts are being put on the table.

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 4>One hundred percent. It's interesting as well that the newest

0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.720
<v Speaker 4>employee is the one earning the most. And it probably

0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:24.719
<v Speaker 4>comes back to that conversation we've had before about job hopping,

0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:26.800
<v Speaker 4>and I know that we have an episode I believe

0:17:26.840 --> 0:17:28.919
<v Speaker 4>coming up on that topic in the next couple of weeks,

0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.399
<v Speaker 4>and the fact that often you can increase your salary

0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:34.080
<v Speaker 4>by going somewhere else. And it's just more of a

0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:36.199
<v Speaker 4>reason that even if you're not leaving your job, you

0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.040
<v Speaker 4>need to be reviewing your salary with your managers internally,

0:17:40.160 --> 0:17:42.439
<v Speaker 4>because it might just be that you came in and

0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.720
<v Speaker 4>you said, okay, I want sixty thousand, and your boss

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:47.200
<v Speaker 4>said okay, no problems, and then the next person came

0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:49.240
<v Speaker 4>in and said, oh, I want eighty thousand, and the

0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:52.400
<v Speaker 4>boss said, okay, no problems. And theoretically, if they were

0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.320
<v Speaker 4>looking after pay parity and if they were an equitable employer,

0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:57.959
<v Speaker 4>they would be making sure that everyone was brought in.

0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:00.200
<v Speaker 4>You know, maybe the person on sixty thousand was brought

0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.000
<v Speaker 4>up to meet the person on eighty thousand. But unfortunately

0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.000
<v Speaker 4>a lot of places don't do that and they just go, oh,

0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.120
<v Speaker 4>sixty thousand, bloody bargain.

0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.040
<v Speaker 2>Exactly, That's all she asked for. So I agreed.

0:18:09.119 --> 0:18:11.359
<v Speaker 4>She's happy. I gave her what she wanted. I'm happy,

0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:14.479
<v Speaker 4>I'm under budget. Everybody's happy until they start talking.

0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:16.919
<v Speaker 2>So it also is I think employees have a lot

0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:19.600
<v Speaker 2>of audacity and assuming that you won't talk about your hourly, right,

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.040
<v Speaker 2>we've got nothing else to talk about, bab Yeah, how

0:18:22.119 --> 0:18:22.680
<v Speaker 2>much do you earn?

0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:23.360
<v Speaker 4>Prove them wrong?

0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:24.280
<v Speaker 2>What are you putting your super?

0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:24.920
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:26.679
<v Speaker 2>Oh that looks expensive? Would you buy that?

0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:26.920
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:31.240
<v Speaker 2>My Facebook marketplace? Girl? Like, we're all talking about money nowadays,

0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 2>guys watch out. So I think it's really important to

0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:37.440
<v Speaker 2>just one advocate yourself, do your own research first. Don't

0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.400
<v Speaker 2>take it personally either, because it could have just been

0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 2>a hiring decision, not immediately because they thought that they

0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:44.639
<v Speaker 2>were better. But maybe times were a bit more desperate.

0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:46.800
<v Speaker 2>You might have been with the organization for a couple

0:18:46.800 --> 0:18:49.480
<v Speaker 2>of years and it was much easier hiring you, and

0:18:49.520 --> 0:18:51.680
<v Speaker 2>now all of a sudden there's like one or two

0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:54.600
<v Speaker 2>candidates applying, and the candidates that are applying are asking

0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:57.600
<v Speaker 2>for ninety grand a year, and they're like, oh, far out, well,

0:18:57.680 --> 0:18:59.320
<v Speaker 2>we're going to miss out on this candidate and that

0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:01.440
<v Speaker 2>role isn't do you know what? Just offer them fifty

0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:03.640
<v Speaker 2>bucks an hour and we'll see what happens. And then

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.240
<v Speaker 2>they said yes, And that might be how they landed there.

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:09.719
<v Speaker 2>Is it okay? Absolutely not, But it might not have

0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:12.159
<v Speaker 2>been conscious. They might not have been going, oh, I

0:19:12.200 --> 0:19:14.400
<v Speaker 2>hope that Jess is okay with this, or I hope

0:19:14.400 --> 0:19:17.440
<v Speaker 2>the rest of the staff are being treated equitably. But

0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:21.600
<v Speaker 2>maybe it was an honest overlook where maybe a different

0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:24.560
<v Speaker 2>manager hired you versus you know, HR might have gone

0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:27.199
<v Speaker 2>in and hired someone else's The business has grown, so

0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>I think it's I mean, we always make sure that

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:32.119
<v Speaker 2>we dot all our eyes and cross all our teas,

0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:34.520
<v Speaker 2>but I think that there's something really beautiful about expecting

0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:37.720
<v Speaker 2>the best from people, and it's going into that conversation

0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:40.760
<v Speaker 2>not assuming that they're taking advantage of you, but going

0:19:41.320 --> 0:19:43.239
<v Speaker 2>maybe they just don't know that this has come up.

0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:46.520
<v Speaker 2>Maybe they just don't know. And that's, from my perspective,

0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.360
<v Speaker 2>a kinder way to approach it, because it also downplays

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:53.240
<v Speaker 2>your anger, like you should be mad. I totally get that,

0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.440
<v Speaker 2>but like, let's take a step back and not be angry,

0:19:55.600 --> 0:19:58.800
<v Speaker 2>let's not be upset. It's actually just pragmatically work out

0:19:58.800 --> 0:20:01.000
<v Speaker 2>what the hell is going on? Jeh, yes, and then

0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:03.159
<v Speaker 2>we can go from there if your boss doesn't want

0:20:03.200 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 2>to talk about it. Babe, we're angry now, Yeah, we

0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:07.800
<v Speaker 2>are mad, and you know what, we're probably leaving and

0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 2>finding a place that pays us sixty dollars an hour.

0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:12.760
<v Speaker 2>So catch you because I now have all this experience

0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:14.600
<v Speaker 2>and look I trained those stuff.

0:20:14.720 --> 0:20:18.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, good luck without me, see you bye. All right.

0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:21.280
<v Speaker 4>Should we take a little swing around because I have

0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:24.280
<v Speaker 4>some questions about this week's community dilemma?

0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:29.240
<v Speaker 2>I have some questions about your segue. Should we swing around?

0:20:29.440 --> 0:20:32.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, that was really good. You know what,

0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:35.679
<v Speaker 2>we're leaving that in let's jump into it. This week's

0:20:35.680 --> 0:20:38.919
<v Speaker 2>community dilemma goes a bit like this. I'm in a

0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:42.560
<v Speaker 2>polyamorous relationship and my main partner and I split everything,

0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:45.680
<v Speaker 2>but he is currently seeing someone who has just lost

0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:48.040
<v Speaker 2>her job and is paying for more things now they're

0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:51.080
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship. I'm not jealous of their relationship in

0:20:51.160 --> 0:20:54.160
<v Speaker 2>any way, but I'm getting a little bit frustrated as

0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:57.480
<v Speaker 2>it's now affecting our budget. I'm not too sure how

0:20:57.480 --> 0:20:59.639
<v Speaker 2>many people are actually in this situation, but I was

0:20:59.640 --> 0:21:02.080
<v Speaker 2>wondering if you girls had any thoughts on how I

0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:03.760
<v Speaker 2>should approach this issue.

0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:05.560
<v Speaker 4>Can I start off with a dumb question?

0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.440
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm not mean this thing around thing.

0:21:08.680 --> 0:21:12.199
<v Speaker 4>I had an idea. I'm not one hundred percent across

0:21:12.359 --> 0:21:17.200
<v Speaker 4>what a polyamorous relationship is, and I feel like my

0:21:17.400 --> 0:21:19.600
<v Speaker 4>response is going to be dependent on what it is,

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:21.119
<v Speaker 4>So can you explain it to me?

0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:24.159
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a good question because it's not the

0:21:24.200 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 2>experience of lots of people right like you might have

0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:28.560
<v Speaker 2>heard of it, and there's lots of things going on.

0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:32.480
<v Speaker 2>But essentially I googled it, polyamory or to be polyamorous

0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:35.520
<v Speaker 2>means that you are engaging in a form of ethical

0:21:35.560 --> 0:21:39.800
<v Speaker 2>and consensual non monogamy. That involves having romantic or sexual

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:43.560
<v Speaker 2>partners with multiple partners at the same time. So from

0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:47.359
<v Speaker 2>my understanding, this means, Jess, you could be dating James

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.879
<v Speaker 2>and you could also be dating me, But that doesn't

0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:53.280
<v Speaker 2>mean that I'm dating James. But you have two partners, yes,

0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:55.600
<v Speaker 2>and it could go in any way that you want

0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:57.440
<v Speaker 2>it to go. You could have multiple partners, you could

0:21:57.480 --> 0:21:59.680
<v Speaker 2>do whatever you want. But the most important thing here

0:21:59.720 --> 0:22:03.160
<v Speaker 2>is that it's completely consensual. They're being adults choosing how

0:22:03.160 --> 0:22:05.439
<v Speaker 2>they want to run their lives and run their relationships.

0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:08.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think you and I were talking about this before.

0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:11.040
<v Speaker 2>This is a legit question. I feel like it's really

0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:13.399
<v Speaker 2>legit because you know what, if I was in that

0:22:13.440 --> 0:22:16.639
<v Speaker 2>circumstance and my partner was spending our budget that I

0:22:16.680 --> 0:22:19.119
<v Speaker 2>had allocated for like our first home or whatever, on

0:22:19.160 --> 0:22:22.240
<v Speaker 2>something else that's not aligned to my values, I'd be like, Okay,

0:22:22.280 --> 0:22:24.199
<v Speaker 2>well what's going on. We need to talk about it.

0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:29.280
<v Speaker 2>But guys, sit down with the judgment. This is not

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:32.320
<v Speaker 2>the community for that. She's on the money, except literally

0:22:32.359 --> 0:22:34.560
<v Speaker 2>anyone exactly how you are. And if you tell me

0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:37.040
<v Speaker 2>that you're in a consensual relationship, I'm all for it.

0:22:37.240 --> 0:22:40.640
<v Speaker 2>I don't care who, with, what, when, where, or how.

0:22:40.760 --> 0:22:43.040
<v Speaker 2>That is none of my business. If you are happy,

0:22:43.080 --> 0:22:45.440
<v Speaker 2>you are thriving, you have a relationship where you are

0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:48.720
<v Speaker 2>completely in control. Ten out of ten. Yeah, so I

0:22:48.760 --> 0:22:52.400
<v Speaker 2>feel like some of you needed that reminder because we're

0:22:52.400 --> 0:22:53.119
<v Speaker 2>not rude.

0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:54.919
<v Speaker 4>Before we jumped into it. Out of ten, but.

0:22:55.040 --> 0:22:56.359
<v Speaker 2>Yess, what would you do?

0:22:56.720 --> 0:22:59.440
<v Speaker 4>It's hard enough to budget for one person or two

0:22:59.440 --> 0:23:02.359
<v Speaker 4>people if or in I suppose a traditional couple. I

0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:04.680
<v Speaker 4>can't imagine how complex it would be when you start

0:23:04.680 --> 0:23:08.000
<v Speaker 4>adding additional people in particularly if you are like in

0:23:08.000 --> 0:23:13.120
<v Speaker 4>this situation, they're obviously spending money together in multiple partnerships,

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:15.560
<v Speaker 4>which is such a level of complexity. And that's why

0:23:15.600 --> 0:23:19.639
<v Speaker 4>I asked the question, because my thought is, if the

0:23:19.760 --> 0:23:21.680
<v Speaker 4>example you gave, so, I'm dating you and I'm also

0:23:21.760 --> 0:23:22.919
<v Speaker 4>dating James.

0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:24.000
<v Speaker 2>You lucky, lucky lady.

0:23:24.119 --> 0:23:27.399
<v Speaker 4>What a good life I'm living. But in that scenario,

0:23:27.400 --> 0:23:32.679
<v Speaker 4>to me, the finances operate independently, like my budget with

0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:37.040
<v Speaker 4>Victoria and my budget with James operate as true separate entities.

0:23:37.080 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would agree.

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:40.760
<v Speaker 4>It's not as if we're all three of us budgeting

0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:44.600
<v Speaker 4>together with shared finances, because from what I understand, you're

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:46.800
<v Speaker 4>not dating James as well, so like you guys are

0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:51.080
<v Speaker 4>sharing finances, but we are, and so it's kind of

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:54.080
<v Speaker 4>hard because really, any person who's dating multiple people and

0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:58.159
<v Speaker 4>committing financially with multiple people, you have to budget your

0:23:58.160 --> 0:23:59.200
<v Speaker 4>budget always.

0:24:00.200 --> 0:24:02.960
<v Speaker 2>I just got lots of questions, like, you know, you

0:24:03.040 --> 0:24:05.480
<v Speaker 2>and James have been together for years and years. I've

0:24:05.520 --> 0:24:07.560
<v Speaker 2>just come on the scene. Yeah, why am I now

0:24:07.680 --> 0:24:11.080
<v Speaker 2>James's or your responsibility? Like why is that the case?

0:24:11.160 --> 0:24:14.240
<v Speaker 2>Like how serious is this relationship? And you know, it

0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:16.439
<v Speaker 2>could be super serious, it could be really casual. But

0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:19.320
<v Speaker 2>I think that that needs definition as well as to

0:24:19.440 --> 0:24:22.239
<v Speaker 2>how you know, if you say dating, like, I don't know,

0:24:22.480 --> 0:24:24.000
<v Speaker 2>it was a period of my life where I would

0:24:24.040 --> 0:24:27.280
<v Speaker 2>have said I was dating multiple people Jessicah, Yeah, yeah,

0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:30.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what the difference between dating and in

0:24:30.880 --> 0:24:34.840
<v Speaker 2>a you know, committed relationship looks like in that circumstance,

0:24:35.040 --> 0:24:36.960
<v Speaker 2>have they known each other for three weeks and they're

0:24:37.000 --> 0:24:38.760
<v Speaker 2>just like, you know, full and head over heels and

0:24:38.760 --> 0:24:41.200
<v Speaker 2>they're you know, in that love bubble and he's now

0:24:41.200 --> 0:24:42.000
<v Speaker 2>funding her life?

0:24:42.359 --> 0:24:45.240
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And how do your goals, I guess, your long

0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:48.440
<v Speaker 4>term goals, how do they align with each of those relationships,

0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:51.040
<v Speaker 4>because James and I want to buy a house, so

0:24:51.520 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 4>you know, we're obviously budgeting for that. But at some

0:24:53.960 --> 0:24:56.000
<v Speaker 4>point are you and I going to want to buy

0:24:56.000 --> 0:24:58.680
<v Speaker 4>a house, And if so, how are you defining or

0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:01.600
<v Speaker 4>allocating your finance to achieve both of those goals, because

0:25:01.600 --> 0:25:03.920
<v Speaker 4>that's a really hard thing to do.

0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Do you think that there would be a delineation between

0:25:07.400 --> 0:25:10.120
<v Speaker 2>a shared cost and a personal cost? And maybe there

0:25:10.160 --> 0:25:12.879
<v Speaker 2>should be in this style of budget, you know, we

0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:15.440
<v Speaker 2>break it up and then you've got your food, fuel,

0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:18.560
<v Speaker 2>and fun account Jess, and I've got mine, and the

0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:22.600
<v Speaker 2>fun part should be your spending on your other partner

0:25:23.240 --> 0:25:26.919
<v Speaker 2>because obviously there's probably something in the budget around you know,

0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:29.399
<v Speaker 2>going on dates and stuff, because like we might have

0:25:29.520 --> 0:25:31.840
<v Speaker 2>our date budget Jess, where you know we go, okay,

0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:33.440
<v Speaker 2>well we can spend two hundred dollars a month on

0:25:33.560 --> 0:25:36.160
<v Speaker 2>going out for nice dinners or whatever. But then I'm

0:25:36.160 --> 0:25:39.119
<v Speaker 2>assuming there's a separate budget so that you can go

0:25:39.200 --> 0:25:42.080
<v Speaker 2>on dates with other people, which would make sense. But

0:25:42.280 --> 0:25:44.640
<v Speaker 2>what does that budget look like? How have you allocated

0:25:44.640 --> 0:25:48.280
<v Speaker 2>that and what are your values around how much that is? Yeah,

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:51.080
<v Speaker 2>I think it's worthy of a deeper conversation with your partner,

0:25:51.240 --> 0:25:53.280
<v Speaker 2>and obviously that's a bit of a hard one because

0:25:53.320 --> 0:25:55.800
<v Speaker 2>your partner would want to really help their new partner

0:25:55.840 --> 0:25:56.280
<v Speaker 2>as well.

0:25:56.440 --> 0:25:59.119
<v Speaker 4>Yes, And it's like in this situation, I guess the

0:25:59.200 --> 0:26:01.680
<v Speaker 4>way that my brain is rationalizing it, and I don't

0:26:01.760 --> 0:26:03.320
<v Speaker 4>know that this is the case because I've never been

0:26:03.359 --> 0:26:05.600
<v Speaker 4>in one of these relationships that is there like a

0:26:05.640 --> 0:26:10.800
<v Speaker 4>primary relationship and a secondary day yes, all equal, because

0:26:10.800 --> 0:26:13.160
<v Speaker 4>that would again impact how you do your finances. It's

0:26:13.280 --> 0:26:16.919
<v Speaker 4>very complex. But our listener who wrote in did actually

0:26:16.960 --> 0:26:19.639
<v Speaker 4>ask less about how they budget and how they should

0:26:19.680 --> 0:26:21.640
<v Speaker 4>approach it, which I feel like is something we can

0:26:21.720 --> 0:26:22.240
<v Speaker 4>talk about.

0:26:22.400 --> 0:26:25.080
<v Speaker 2>That's true. I think when it comes to any money conversation,

0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:27.480
<v Speaker 2>I think the most important thing is giving your partner

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:30.240
<v Speaker 2>warning that you want to have a conversation about finances.

0:26:30.240 --> 0:26:32.160
<v Speaker 2>Obviously this is a topic that could be a little

0:26:32.160 --> 0:26:35.119
<v Speaker 2>bit icky, So going, hey, JS, I really want to

0:26:35.160 --> 0:26:37.480
<v Speaker 2>go through our budget. I know that you're probably not

0:26:37.520 --> 0:26:39.320
<v Speaker 2>in the mind frame right now because you're just making

0:26:39.359 --> 0:26:42.160
<v Speaker 2>your week bigs. But do you think that later tonight

0:26:42.200 --> 0:26:43.840
<v Speaker 2>we could sit down, or later this week we could

0:26:43.880 --> 0:26:46.240
<v Speaker 2>sit down and have a chat and I might go, oh, whoa,

0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:47.960
<v Speaker 2>what's prompted that just be like, oh my gosh, I

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 2>just feel like, how Bud just getting a bit out

0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:51.880
<v Speaker 2>of control, or I've just noticed you spending a lot

0:26:51.960 --> 0:26:54.479
<v Speaker 2>more than I am, or you know, define it however

0:26:54.520 --> 0:26:57.120
<v Speaker 2>you want, but planned enough of a seeds so they

0:26:57.200 --> 0:27:00.240
<v Speaker 2>have reflection time so that they come to that conversation

0:27:00.359 --> 0:27:03.560
<v Speaker 2>as prepared as you are, because right now you've trusted

0:27:03.600 --> 0:27:06.640
<v Speaker 2>us with this question, which is so kind. But you've

0:27:06.640 --> 0:27:10.160
<v Speaker 2>trusted us, You've had the thought to message us, You've

0:27:10.160 --> 0:27:12.320
<v Speaker 2>had a lot of reflection time, you've probably had this

0:27:12.359 --> 0:27:15.840
<v Speaker 2>whole podcast to talk about it before you're having this

0:27:15.880 --> 0:27:18.960
<v Speaker 2>conversation with your partner. He might not see a problem.

0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:21.439
<v Speaker 2>He might not have even had that on his radar

0:27:21.560 --> 0:27:24.439
<v Speaker 2>and doesn't want to be side railed by it. So

0:27:24.480 --> 0:27:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I think it's really important to yeah, hey, Jess, can

0:27:27.560 --> 0:27:28.919
<v Speaker 2>we sit down and chat about it? And you know

0:27:29.160 --> 0:27:31.400
<v Speaker 2>what the hell? Like, where did that come from? No worries,

0:27:31.560 --> 0:27:34.199
<v Speaker 2>but at least you've given them enough notice, and then

0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:37.960
<v Speaker 2>when you do sit down, really reiterate how comfortable you

0:27:38.000 --> 0:27:40.760
<v Speaker 2>are with the relationship. Or that's what I would do,

0:27:40.880 --> 0:27:42.719
<v Speaker 2>Just be like, oh, I don't see this as an

0:27:42.760 --> 0:27:45.639
<v Speaker 2>issue between you and X, Like, I've got absolutely no

0:27:45.680 --> 0:27:48.359
<v Speaker 2>problem with that, but just starting to stress a bit

0:27:48.359 --> 0:27:50.679
<v Speaker 2>because we've got all these financial goals and I'm just

0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:54.480
<v Speaker 2>wondering if you've thought about how this might impact our

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:57.600
<v Speaker 2>goal setting. Yeah, and I think that that's where if

0:27:57.640 --> 0:28:01.879
<v Speaker 2>you've chosen this type of relation relationship, I'm assuming that

0:28:01.880 --> 0:28:04.560
<v Speaker 2>stuff like this does come up. Do you and your

0:28:04.600 --> 0:28:06.719
<v Speaker 2>partner now need to sit down and just realign some

0:28:06.760 --> 0:28:08.439
<v Speaker 2>of your goals so that you can both live your

0:28:08.440 --> 0:28:11.399
<v Speaker 2>best lives Because Jess, if I lost my job in

0:28:11.480 --> 0:28:14.760
<v Speaker 2>my relationship with my husband, well I'd have to reset

0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:17.280
<v Speaker 2>my goals because right now I need a bit more support.

0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:19.600
<v Speaker 2>And maybe that's the way we should be seeing this.

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:22.800
<v Speaker 2>Your partner actually needs a bit more support because their

0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:25.440
<v Speaker 2>partner does, and that's just the way it's going to work.

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:28.800
<v Speaker 2>But we do need to have open, honest conversation about

0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:32.640
<v Speaker 2>how that works and what that actually looks like, because

0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:36.120
<v Speaker 2>there's no normal right, Like, there's no normal budget, there's

0:28:36.160 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 2>no normal relationship, there's no right or wrong. I think

0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:41.239
<v Speaker 2>it's just more Jesse, you happy with what's going on

0:28:41.600 --> 0:28:44.000
<v Speaker 2>right now. Our listener isn't happy with what's going on

0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:47.360
<v Speaker 2>and needs to talk about it, but often communication is

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:50.479
<v Speaker 2>the key. Maybe they've got a new job and your

0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:53.440
<v Speaker 2>partner hasn't told you that yet. Maybe something has popped

0:28:53.480 --> 0:28:56.080
<v Speaker 2>up and they're getting a lot more support. Maybe you

0:28:56.120 --> 0:28:59.280
<v Speaker 2>know they're taking some time off and reassessing their goals

0:28:59.280 --> 0:29:00.920
<v Speaker 2>and they're going to move into a shouse, like we

0:29:01.000 --> 0:29:03.840
<v Speaker 2>don't know what that looks like. So I think opening

0:29:03.840 --> 0:29:06.560
<v Speaker 2>the conversation, but letting them know you want to open

0:29:06.600 --> 0:29:08.160
<v Speaker 2>that conversation is really important.

0:29:08.280 --> 0:29:11.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, clarity is key. What did everybody say outside of

0:29:11.920 --> 0:29:14.000
<v Speaker 4>some of the slightly judgmental comments.

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:16.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I just blocked in deleted those people. So that's fine.

0:29:17.000 --> 0:29:20.800
<v Speaker 2>So some people said, allocate pocket money for you to

0:29:20.960 --> 0:29:23.560
<v Speaker 2>use on things solely for one partner like their girlfriend.

0:29:24.040 --> 0:29:26.680
<v Speaker 2>Someone said, I think him supporting his other partner would

0:29:26.720 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 2>be seen as a gift and not a shared cost.

0:29:29.440 --> 0:29:32.000
<v Speaker 2>Someone said this is tricky. I honestly have no idea,

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:33.680
<v Speaker 2>but I can't wait to listen to the pod.

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:34.680
<v Speaker 4>I hope you enjoyed.

0:29:35.080 --> 0:29:38.680
<v Speaker 2>Someone said, you just need an honest conversation about splitting

0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:41.440
<v Speaker 2>costs with other partners. So it's fair both ways. This

0:29:41.480 --> 0:29:42.480
<v Speaker 2>could happen to you.

0:29:42.720 --> 0:29:45.240
<v Speaker 4>Well, that's a very good point, is there exactly. You

0:29:45.320 --> 0:29:46.680
<v Speaker 4>could be on the other foot and then you're seeing

0:29:46.720 --> 0:29:50.000
<v Speaker 4>somebody else and then a youth committing financially so exactly.

0:29:50.040 --> 0:29:52.520
<v Speaker 2>Someone said, you shouldn't be using money from the primary

0:29:52.560 --> 0:29:55.880
<v Speaker 2>budget for the other partner. Your partner should be using

0:29:55.920 --> 0:29:59.240
<v Speaker 2>his own fun money for this. Someone said, I wouldn't

0:29:59.240 --> 0:30:02.240
<v Speaker 2>be okay with this impacting on my budget, And yeah,

0:30:02.280 --> 0:30:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I think everybody was, as I guess, pragmatic as we

0:30:05.520 --> 0:30:08.840
<v Speaker 2>are about just have a conversation, work it out. You know,

0:30:09.000 --> 0:30:11.640
<v Speaker 2>you could be in this circumstance because what goes around

0:30:11.640 --> 0:30:13.600
<v Speaker 2>comes around. I'm assuming that you might be in a

0:30:13.600 --> 0:30:16.400
<v Speaker 2>similar circumstance and might want a little bit more grace.

0:30:16.520 --> 0:30:20.440
<v Speaker 2>At some point, someone else said, we really need some

0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:23.120
<v Speaker 2>more information, like how long have they been dating? That's

0:30:23.120 --> 0:30:25.560
<v Speaker 2>what I asked. I just feel like, you know, what

0:30:25.640 --> 0:30:27.400
<v Speaker 2>if you found out, Jess that they've been dating for

0:30:27.440 --> 0:30:29.600
<v Speaker 2>five years on the side, Yeah, to me, that's a

0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:32.680
<v Speaker 2>different relationship and a different level of commitment that you've

0:30:32.720 --> 0:30:35.200
<v Speaker 2>got to that person. So I don't know. I just

0:30:35.240 --> 0:30:39.080
<v Speaker 2>feel like having open, honest conversation is going to be

0:30:39.160 --> 0:30:41.640
<v Speaker 2>the best way forward, and you can never go wrong

0:30:41.680 --> 0:30:44.400
<v Speaker 2>with that, especially if you approach it from a position

0:30:44.440 --> 0:30:48.720
<v Speaker 2>of kindness and not judgment, but more frustration. Yeah, Like

0:30:48.760 --> 0:30:51.440
<v Speaker 2>you're not approaching it from a position of frustration where

0:30:51.440 --> 0:30:53.160
<v Speaker 2>you go, oh my god, Jess, I'm so annoyed that

0:30:53.200 --> 0:30:55.520
<v Speaker 2>you're spending all this money on this other person and

0:30:55.560 --> 0:30:57.520
<v Speaker 2>I just can't believe it. Like that's not going to

0:30:57.600 --> 0:31:00.360
<v Speaker 2>go down well for anybody. Yeah, so I think talking

0:31:00.360 --> 0:31:02.239
<v Speaker 2>about your feelings is just going I just feel like

0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:05.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm not completely across this, Like, what's going on? How

0:31:05.400 --> 0:31:07.800
<v Speaker 2>long might this last? Because you might find out it's

0:31:07.800 --> 0:31:10.000
<v Speaker 2>only going to last another two weeks and you might go,

0:31:10.120 --> 0:31:12.960
<v Speaker 2>it's not even worth having the conversation now. Yeah, so

0:31:13.440 --> 0:31:15.520
<v Speaker 2>open honest conversations always.

0:31:16.120 --> 0:31:17.959
<v Speaker 4>I love that. A perfect place to leave it.

0:31:18.040 --> 0:31:20.360
<v Speaker 2>All right, I think we're all done. We can wrap

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:22.560
<v Speaker 2>this up just goo Ricci. I'm sorry Beck's not here

0:31:22.600 --> 0:31:24.120
<v Speaker 2>because I feel like she would have had some really

0:31:24.120 --> 0:31:27.280
<v Speaker 2>good conversation or really good points agreed to add. But

0:31:27.320 --> 0:31:29.400
<v Speaker 2>we can just ask her offline. That's all right, you

0:31:29.400 --> 0:31:32.360
<v Speaker 2>guys miss out. Sorry, we will see you next week

0:31:32.400 --> 0:31:34.920
<v Speaker 2>for an episode of Money Diaries on Monday. But till then,

0:31:35.040 --> 0:31:37.120
<v Speaker 2>have the best weekend, and we love you lots.

0:31:37.200 --> 0:31:41.720
<v Speaker 4>Goomtelda's who.

0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:48.240
<v Speaker 2>The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

0:31:48.280 --> 0:31:52.160
<v Speaker 2>in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

0:31:52.200 --> 0:31:55.640
<v Speaker 2>on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

0:31:55.680 --> 0:31:58.840
<v Speaker 2>not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

0:31:59.240 --> 0:32:01.400
<v Speaker 2>If you do used to buy a financial.

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<v Speaker 6>Product, read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice.

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<v Speaker 2>Tailored towards your needs.

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<v Speaker 6>Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives

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<v Speaker 6>of money sherper P T y L t D A

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<v Speaker 6>b N three two one six four nine two seven

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<v Speaker 6>seven zero eight afs L four five one two eight

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<v Speaker 6>nine