WEBVTT - UNDER THE INFLUENCE: Cherie Louise 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:01.280 This is Outspoken. 0:00:01.400 --> 0:00:05.040 The podcast is not afraid to say exactly what you're thinking. 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:07.520 Our names are Amy Kate and Sophie Torber. 0:00:07.920 --> 0:00:11.840 We're identical triplets, but we often don't have identical opinions, 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:16.280 so sometimes things can get heated. Outspoken covers all things 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:21.800 reality TV, influencers, entertainment and issues facing women that is 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:22.880 so fat. 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:23.759 Thank you. 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:29.240 Welcome to our under the influenced edition of Outspoken. Today 0:00:29.280 --> 0:00:32.240 on the show, we're joined by the amazing Scherie Luise. 0:00:32.560 --> 0:00:34.839 The twenty eight year old from Melbourne is a model, 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:35.599 writer and. 0:00:35.640 --> 0:00:38.919 Disability advocate who isn't afraid to stand up for what 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.920 she believes in. At just six years of age, Chari 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:45.000 sadly lost her leg to cancer, and just last year 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:48.080 she was cast into the media spotlight after vile trolls 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:51.880 bullied her for merely revealing the fact she's an amputee. 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:53.840 Cherie's model in life is simple. 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:57.280 She's not here to inspire abled bodied people, but she's 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:59.880 here to help those that are disabled. We spoke with 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.880 talented and funny and kind twenty eight year old fresh 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:07.520 from her first virtual runway show for lingerie brand Bluebella. 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:11.080 We thought we'd get into today's episode by firstly asking 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.480 how you've been navigating your ISO life so far. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:18.800 I've been doing pretty well, thanks Considering. You know, obviously 0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:22.080 I speak only of my little bubble, which is my 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:24.840 own home. I know there's not so great things going 0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:28.479 on out there, but myself, I've been doing quite well. 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:32.399 I've I get fatigued quite quickly, so I've been able 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.720 to get a lot of resting and ISO you know, 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:39.120 really working on just taking care of myself and working 0:01:39.120 --> 0:01:41.800 on little projects and so on. So I've been even 0:01:41.880 --> 0:01:44.440 quite well. Thanks Considering. 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:47.280 And are you able to fill listen a little bit 0:01:47.280 --> 0:01:50.240 about your situation work wise, because we were speaking off 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:53.400 microphone about it and it's absolutely shocking what's going on. 0:01:54.440 --> 0:01:56.800 Yeah. So basically I was working at a front of 0:01:56.800 --> 0:02:00.320 house position, so dealing a lot with the public, and 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.120 we had a few staff members that got confirmed and 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:07.120 we were asking for some protective measures like screens and 0:02:07.120 --> 0:02:11.280 stuff to be put up, and unfortunately we didn't get them, 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:16.160 and due to my you know, lacking immune system, I 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.800 decided that it would be best to me to stay 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:22.160 home somewhere that's safe. So, yeah, I had to leave 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:25.600 my job, and as so I've been focusing on writing. 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:29.480 I started a Patreon, and that's honestly how I am 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:33.320 living right now. I would not really be getting by 0:02:33.360 --> 0:02:35.840 if it wasn't for that. So it's really pushed me 0:02:35.880 --> 0:02:38.440 to kind of work on my own writing and my 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:42.760 advocacy as well. So it's a little bit of you know, 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.120 I hate saying blessing in disguise when it's a terrible 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:48.120 thing that's happening with COVID, but it's helped push me 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.040 in the right direction personally as well. 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:52.080 Yeah, oh, that's a great way to look at it, 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.440 as I suppose of blessing in disguise, because sometimes such 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:57.840 positive things do come out of awful situations. For anyone interested, 0:02:57.919 --> 0:02:59.919 what are you writing about in particular? 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:05.160 So I've started just writing about my life. So as 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:07.160 an ampute I get a lot of questions about what's 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:08.960 happened and what it was like and so on, and 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:14.200 I do. It can be quite draining to be answers 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.480 all the time and to have to repeat yourself when 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:19.640 you're not really in a position where you're prepared to 0:03:19.720 --> 0:03:22.840 answer those questions. So I started my Patreon as a 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.839 way to kind of document my experience and people who 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:30.040 are interested and are supporting me, I can share that 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:33.320 with them. Certain I decided to do that with a 0:03:33.360 --> 0:03:36.440 Patreon because it's kind of a It's still on the 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:38.480 internet and so on. Anyone could share it if they 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.200 really wanted to, but the people that have immediate access 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.960 to it are people that are actually financially supporting me, 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:48.800 so I feel safer sharing them more intimate details with them. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:49.520 If that makes sense. 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:52.880 Well, that's such a great idea because I know, being triplets, 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:56.960 we get asked some really bizarre questions and quite invasive questions. 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.800 And I'm sure it's probably nothing to the extent that 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:02.120 you get asked, but it's astonishing some of the questions 0:04:02.120 --> 0:04:04.040 people feel the right to ask you. 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:07.240 Yeah, Like the most common one is what happened to 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:11.640 your leg? And although people think that that is innocent 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:16.159 or well meaning, it's actually it can be quite It 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:18.000 can throw you off. Like, for example, I can be 0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:20.160 out at a bar with my friends and someone comes up. 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:22.840 They don't say hello, they don't ask what my name is, 0:04:22.960 --> 0:04:25.720 they just go what happened? And then it's like, okay, well, 0:04:25.760 --> 0:04:28.479 I'm just having, you know, a cheeky drink, and now 0:04:29.200 --> 0:04:32.960 you're bringing up the worst of my life. And it's 0:04:33.000 --> 0:04:34.599 just like all you're going to do if I tell 0:04:34.600 --> 0:04:38.039 you the answer, you're going to go, ah, that's so sad, 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.359 Like no one's going to hear cancer and go oh cool. 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.320 You know, they're just going to go, oh, that's so sad. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.120 They've got to look at me with a look of pity, 0:04:44.440 --> 0:04:45.880 and then they're going to walk away and carry on 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:49.359 with air night. And you know, it's just unnecessary. I'm like, 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:52.360 you didn't gain anything out of that part from satisfying 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:57.400 your own curiosity, but you sprung me off of you know, 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:00.919 wherever I was at with enjoying myself. So people, you know, 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:02.920 think it's well meaning to ask those questions, but they 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:05.359 don't realize that it's like asking for your medical history 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:08.480 is asking it a really of trauma just out of 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.760 nowhere and without actually showing any interest in you. That 0:05:11.839 --> 0:05:14.120 they don't know anything about me. They just won't know 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:18.479 about that one thing, and then they walk away. And 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:22.400 then I'll also get questions, like fairly questions, you know, 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:27.200 like can you have sex and can you drive? Those 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.640 kinds of things, But it's just kind of like it's 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:33.080 all very I don't know, they just shallow question. 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.320 Yeah, I can't believe people can actually think they have 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.600 the right to come up and ask you that, because 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:40.039 I know, as Amy said, on a small scale, we 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:43.240 can understand because we have had the weirdest questions like 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:44.680 were you guys joined by the head? 0:05:44.760 --> 0:05:46.599 Did you get your period at the same time? 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:48.320 What? Oh my god? 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.400 And we have our best friend who is normally around us, 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.880 and she I think is more tired of the questions 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:56.240 than we are. Do you have that friend that kind 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.200 of just answers them for you because you're just sick 0:05:58.240 --> 0:05:59.880 of answering the question. 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:02.840 Like when it comes to the questions, most of the time, 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.400 my friends will kind of just like raw their eyes. 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.320 They kind of look for me because they know that 0:06:07.440 --> 0:06:09.960 I will respond however I want to respond, And it 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.159 does very a lot. It depends on the situation I'm in, 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.880 if I'm what mood I'm in, If I'm in a 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:18.440 situation where I don't want to cause any like tension, 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:20.440 like I'm at a house party or something. You know, 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:22.160 when you've got to spend the rest of the night 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:25.080 around these people and you don't want to kill the vibe, 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:27.280 I'll kind of just tell them and then live on. 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:29.720 But if I'm out and I'm like around people, and 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.920 I can just kind of move on and get away 0:06:31.920 --> 0:06:33.640 from whoever I don't like, I can just like it's 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.080 any business, or you know, just not tell them, where 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:39.479 I can just bullshit them and say something completely false. 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:44.160 But it's just it depends. Like my friends usually look 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.760 to me to answer, but they more get bothered by 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:52.760 things that I ignore, Like when we're walking and about and 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:56.080 people are staring at me, my friends will get more 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.880 bothered than I am because I'm I taught myself how 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:02.440 to just block all of the staring out, whereas they're 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:04.760 not used to it, so they just see all of 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:07.039 it and they just kind of take it all in, 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:09.760 whereas I'm just like, whatever, this is part of it. 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:11.000 If that makes sense. 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:14.840 Well, I feel a little invasive asking this question now, 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:17.560 But I suppose for those who haven't heard your story, 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.000 are you able to tell us, I suppose about that 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.280 life changing moment when you were six years old? 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.600 Yeah, of course. I think it's important to note in 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:28.800 these situations where you know we've talked about that we're 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.120 going to be talking about these things. I'm prepared to 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:33.000 answer these questions, so I don't want you to feel 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:35.800 bad about asking these questions when there's something that I've 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:40.240 voluntarily gotten into as well. So basically, when I was 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:44.320 six years old, I started to experience Haines and my 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:46.880 hip and I was getting all kinds of temperatures and 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:49.720 so on. So we had a bunch of tests done. 0:07:49.840 --> 0:07:53.000 I just remember lots of scams and lots of doctors. 0:07:53.880 --> 0:07:56.000 I was six years old, like so, I don't remember 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.720 a lot, but I remember those things. And then I 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:01.920 remember being lunch Auckland that was a New Zealand at 0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:06.040 the time, and Aucklands where the kind of country's biggest 0:08:06.120 --> 0:08:09.679 children's hospital is, so I got fun there. And then 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:14.560 I was sitting in the corridor at the hospital and 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:16.200 my parents were in a room with the doctors, and 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:18.880 they came out and then they told me I had cancer. 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:23.480 And I only knew what cancer was because not long 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.120 before that, I was watching TV and I saw a 0:08:26.120 --> 0:08:30.280 little girl on TV with cancer, and I probably janxed myself. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.440 I was like, how did I never get cancer? And 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:37.360 then next minute, so I got told that and I 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:38.880 knew what that was. And the only thing I knew 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:42.400 about cancer was that you lose your hair, So that's 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.440 what I immediately thought, I was, I'm going to lose 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:49.679 my hair, freaking out. And it was a pretty messy time. 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.480 Like my parents were recently divorced, so they were dealing 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:55.840 with that, and then all of a sudden, you know, 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:59.480 your daughter's got cancer. So it was a very messy 0:08:59.480 --> 0:09:02.840 time trying to navigate everything with my family as well. 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:07.480 And from there, you know, I was in hospital for 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:13.360 three months before my surgery, and they told me before 0:09:13.400 --> 0:09:15.360 my surgery, they pulled me into a room to tell 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:18.320 me what could happen on the other end. So they 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:22.760 talked about having I, guess the cancer removed, and then 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.400 I would have issues with my leg and I would 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:27.560 spend a long time in a cast and that kind 0:09:27.640 --> 0:09:30.040 of thing. So they started with the best case scenario, 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:32.760 and then I started to freak out and I stopped 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:36.720 listening because I was just panicking, I guess, and I 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.400 didn't actually hear them when they told me that I 0:09:40.400 --> 0:09:43.880 could actually lose my legs. So I went into my 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:47.200 surgery not knowing that that was a possibility, and they 0:09:47.200 --> 0:09:50.079 went out. Woke up, I found out that I had 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:52.000 lost my leg, and I was sort of freaking out 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:54.240 to my mum, being like, you didn't tell me, you 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:57.280 know that I could lose my leg and what's going on? 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.640 And she's something you know, we did, you just w 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:03.480 And I was only I was in ic you when 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.440 that happened. So but I was only in ICU for 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:08.560 a day, and I just remember. I just remember that. 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:10.440 I just remember I kept coming in and out of 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.600 sleep and just like feeling my hip and being like, 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:18.880 what's going on? Because I gotn't quite comprehend it. Something 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:21.280 wasn't there. It felt like something was there, if that 0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:22.719 makes it, because it felt different, So I was like, 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:25.720 what's on my hip? But it was like month nothing there, 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:31.240 but so the weird feeling doing that, and then when 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.040 I got out it was just I don't remember much 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:39.440 after getting out of ICU in regards to being I 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:42.800 guess sad about in shock about losing my leg. I 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:46.840 think after that it was more just how do we 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:49.000 keep moving? What am I going to do? Like do 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:50.559 I get a leg going? How am I going to 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:54.000 get around? And that kind of thing. So I also 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:59.679 didn't really yeah I did, because I feel like I 0:10:59.720 --> 0:11:01.840 was just kind of going with it. I don't really 0:11:01.880 --> 0:11:05.120 know what was going on. I didn't have a certain 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:09.120 way of life that was being interrupted, and I was 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:12.000 just taking it as it came. It didn't feel I 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:14.439 don't know, it probably would have been a bit surreal 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.280 as opposed to being older and you've got a way 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.439 of life and you've got all your habits and things 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.560 that you do, and then you get thrown out of that. 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:26.400 So I feel like being a kid, it was probably 0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:29.160 a lot easier for me to manage because I didn't 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:33.160 really understand the implications of life and death and loss 0:11:33.200 --> 0:11:33.760 and all of that. 0:11:34.280 --> 0:11:37.280 Well, definitely, I mean, what was that like for you 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:39.920 having to go back to school and I suppose you 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:43.480 hadn't really thought about the fact you might lose your leg, 0:11:43.559 --> 0:11:46.840 that this was obviously you're still processing all of this news, 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:49.800 because I feel like school can be horrendous enough without 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:53.679 having something that makes you stand to stand out from others. 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.440 Yeah, So when I went back to school, so I 0:11:57.440 --> 0:11:59.920 think I was about I think I was like seven 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:01.880 by that I was seven and a half, maybe eight. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.000 I can't remember. I'm like, I'm terrible with time. But 0:12:05.080 --> 0:12:07.320 now on the chemo because it affects your memory. So 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:11.200 I complained that. But so I was in the hospital 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:13.400 for ten months all up. Then I got out, went 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:17.679 home full clearance, like I didn't have the cancer comeback, 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:20.360 so I got through remission as a clean sweep, So 0:12:20.440 --> 0:12:25.160 that was great. But I went back to school primary school, 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:28.440 and the biggest thing I was worried about was that 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:30.840 I had a wig, and I was really scared that 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.120 everyone would know that I had a wig. And then 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:37.360 I went back and primary school was pretty chill, like 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.880 because I was already in primary school when I got diagnosed. 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.880 So when I got diagnosed and I left, they had 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.320 like a school assembly where they talked about me and 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:49.439 what was happening and stuff. So the whole school kind 0:12:49.440 --> 0:12:52.520 of already knew and they knew me before, and I 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:56.400 think that that made it more personal of a story, 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:59.280 Like they knew that I was going through something horrible 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:01.360 and then I come back, so it was kind of 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.040 I guess they were less likely to bully me because 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:10.200 they'd all been waiting to hear what happened. So I 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:15.160 didn't have too much difficulty in primary school. Then a 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:17.640 New Zealer we have intermediate school, which is like two 0:13:17.720 --> 0:13:23.280 years between primary and high school. Yeah, so that's when 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:27.440 you're like eleven twelve. So then I went on to 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:32.439 intermediate school and things were okay there. I didn't really 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:35.840 get bullied there. Oh actually I liked I got bullied 0:13:35.840 --> 0:13:40.360 that I got like anonymous letters, really yeah, from a 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.600 girl in my class. I totally know who it was now, 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.200 but back then I didn't know. Like it was so 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:46.960 obvious now that I look back on it, but like 0:13:47.000 --> 0:13:48.959 back then, it was this big mystery and everyone was 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.800 trying to figure it out, like all the teachers and stuff. 0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:55.200 But she just wrote me like these anonymous letters, and 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.720 she was like pretending to be someone else, like she 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:02.280 was trying to frame this other girl. It was really nasty, 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.000 and she was just telling me how ugly I am 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.640 and because I have one leg and I'm just like 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:10.200 just like super nasty, like really long leaders. So like 0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:13.040 she really went in. But she was obviously a very 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:17.240 sad girl. Like she wasn't you know, popular or anything 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:21.160 like that, so obviously a very sad, sad kid. And 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.680 when the kids are not older classes, they got shann 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:27.680 a letter as well, and they were all mortified and 0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:29.960 they all stood up to me and you know, made 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.320 sure I was okay and stuff. So that was nice. 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.880 But I did get bullied, but it was always behind 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:39.040 my back or anonymous. The only time people would bully 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.280 me to my face, like even through high school. Right 0:14:41.800 --> 0:14:44.400 got to high school and the people that would bully 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.440 me would be like strangers. So I'd be walking home 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:49.960 from school when a little kid would yell out names 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:55.360 at me, or my friends bullied me but behind my back, 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:58.560 like they would never like they would never ever talk 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.200 about my leg in front of me, and and I 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:02.160 later found out that I were all just like constantly 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.640 making leg jokes whenever I wasn't around. That kind of 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.800 really fuck because we were really close. You know. 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.560 Well, it broke my heart because I read somewhere that 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.360 you said when growing up you felt like you had 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:16.480 accepted the fact that you wouldn't end up with someone 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:17.720 and you'd be alone. 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:19.320 Can you tell us. 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:21.400 Through why you felt that way and why you felt 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.600 like you wouldn't find love during your teenage years. 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.200 Yeah, So I think when I like when I came 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:30.200 to terms with it, I was probably more like I 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.120 was around ten years old probably when I came to 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:35.440 terms of it, Like there was a phase probably from 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.920 like you know, ege to ten eleven where I was 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.440 just every night or it was a set in bed 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.000 and I would look on old photos of myself and 0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:47.160 just be sad and just be like, what the hell 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.040 was going to happen when I'm older? And so I 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.240 came up with this plan in my head. I was like, Okay, well, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:56.720 you know, I'd never seen an amptity girl in a 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.040 relationship or in love, so I was like, Okay, that's 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:01.840 probably not gonna happens. So what we're going to do 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:03.720 is we're going to get rich. I'm going to get 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:07.120 a really cool job. It's not gonna matter. I love 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.800 that I had the whole plan. I was like, we're 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:11.880 gonna be alone, We're going to have like lots of pets, 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:12.240 and we're. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:16.040 Going to be sweet, because that sounds pretty amazing. I 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:18.160 don't know a guy when you're rich with pets of me. 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:22.240 So that was my plan. But yeah, I definitely just think. 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:26.280 I definitely thought that I would never fall in love. 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:29.920 And like, my mum had a new partner around that time, 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.600 and I was just like seeing them fall in love 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:34.720 like really upset me because I was like, oh, I'm 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:38.600 never going to have that. So yeah, I spent a 0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:40.760 lot of time being upset about that. And it was 0:16:40.800 --> 0:16:44.320 obviously just because I'd never seen it before, Like it 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:48.040 just wasn't a thing, you know. I was the only 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.760 time I ever saw amputees was once a year on 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.840 the Paralympics, and that was it. I never saw any 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.040 love stories or anything. And the way I was kind of, 0:16:58.160 --> 0:17:01.240 you know, I guess treated like it, you know, boy, 0:17:01.320 --> 0:17:03.480 you know you want if people have school yard crushes 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:05.280 and stuff like that, it was never me. So I 0:17:05.359 --> 0:17:07.680 was just like, well, all right, well I need to 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.800 come up with another plan. And that's what I did. 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.160 And obviously I was wrong, like that's not how things 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:15.160 were going to be when I got older, but that's 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:17.200 definitely what I thought when I was a kid. 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:20.800 Yeah, well, you just to put it out there. 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.720 We've e gauged from social media that you do have 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.840 your own love story, is that right. We've still you 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:31.760 on social media and really very loved in a really 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:36.040 awkward way, like I've seen your loved up photos. 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.959 Yeah. So back when I think I was twenty at 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:42.680 the time, So they were talking like eight years ago. 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:44.639 So I was loving the Gold Coast and I was 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:48.879 visiting my best friend in Melbourne and she's telling me 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:50.879 about a friend who just moved to the Gold Coast 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:53.320 and this is is quite a goods that I was 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:55.520 actually in the process of moving to Melbourne, right, So 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:58.520 I'm like hanging with my best friend in Melbourne and 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:00.840 I've got a few months in till I move. And 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:03.600 she's like, oh, so, yeah, my friends moved up there. 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:05.240 I should hang out and I'm like, oh, yeah, cool, 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.120 and she's telling me about him and then I'm like, oh, 0:18:07.240 --> 0:18:10.080 I know that we follow each other on Twitter, so 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:13.119 we actually already kind of knew each other. So I 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.560 felt like, oh, that's cool, Yeah, invite him over for 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:18.919 drinks and we became friends. And then you know, I 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.200 still moved to Melbourne even though we were like got 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:23.560 along so well. I was like, I'm moving to Melbourne, 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.280 like I can't, you know, I'm not going to stay 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:30.359 on the Golf Coast for some casual thing. And then 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:33.240 I thought kind of thought that it wasn't going to 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:37.639 go anywhere because we're in different states at that point. 0:18:38.280 --> 0:18:41.920 But we still kept casually dating for quite a few years, 0:18:42.119 --> 0:18:46.520 and then I ended up moving back to bet with 0:18:46.600 --> 0:18:50.440 him and we've been together for about four years now. 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:54.280 Stay and then we moved back to Melbourne, so we've 0:18:54.320 --> 0:18:57.000 been like back and forth a lot. But yeah, things 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:59.840 we're going really well. We lived together and now there 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.000 we've got I've still got all my pets. 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.080 Yeah, do you have the pets? What kind of pets 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:05.399 do you have? 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:10.280 You got a cat and two dogs, so yeah, one 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:12.800 was the cat was astray. He found us and we 0:19:12.880 --> 0:19:16.880 cann't find a zioners. We adopted him. We got one 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:19.840 dog from a rescue and then we got another dog 0:19:19.920 --> 0:19:23.960 from a friend's litter unexpected letter. So just a bunch 0:19:24.000 --> 0:19:27.200 of lost babies that we again. 0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:29.280 And the world comes next. That's the next. 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:34.840 Yeah, you mentioned that you didn't feel represented, and I 0:19:34.840 --> 0:19:36.679 feel like you've spoken a lot in the past or 0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:39.199 you've been interviewed in the past about the representation of 0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:41.480 disabled women in the media and fashion. 0:19:41.960 --> 0:19:44.199 What's your viewpoint on that? Do you are you? Do 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:45.400 you see it changing at all? 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:50.360 Yeah, definitely. So I've always, you know, wanted to get 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:52.840 into it. You know, this is why I've gotten into 0:19:52.880 --> 0:19:55.840 modeling and that kind of thing, because the more disabled 0:19:55.880 --> 0:19:58.040 people that we have involved, the more we can shape 0:19:58.520 --> 0:20:01.200 our own stories and the way that we're portrayed to they. 0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:04.919 You know, I'm seeing it changed now, but basically before 0:20:04.960 --> 0:20:08.680 I did. It was always just the best and worst 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:11.600 case scenario. You know, all I'd see on TV is paralympian, 0:20:11.840 --> 0:20:15.919 you know, talking about elite athletes. You know, like that's 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.040