Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: All right, sweety prize, it's your phase. We're back.
Speaker 3: I've come across a dating rubric and I always love
Speaker 3: when you know conversations and topics are framed in a
Speaker 3: way that's easy to understand. Apparently there's a certain number
Speaker 3: of dates you need to be going on before you're exclusive.
Speaker 3: The number is higher than you think. And I'm so
Speaker 3: sorry to reveal this on a random Wednesday, but here
Speaker 3: it is.
Speaker 1: This is Flex and Frooms. I'm Kita.
Speaker 4: I was on TikTok It again and I found this
Speaker 4: really really interesting piece about IVF babies.
Speaker 1: Play the tape, Mikayla.
Speaker 5: My parents actually still have some embryos from the exact
Speaker 5: same batch frozen because they wanted two kids. The first
Speaker 5: two times were successful, but the doctor had extracted. I
Speaker 5: don't know how many, so I don't know how many
Speaker 5: embryos are left, but there are some of my twins
Speaker 5: per se still sitting in a lab. So tell me why.
Speaker 5: It has always been my desire ever I knew that
Speaker 5: to you know, grow up, get married, didn't plan on
Speaker 5: getting divorced, but get married again. Maybe eventually and have
Speaker 5: my kids with my partner, but eventually also go through
Speaker 5: the implant process myself and give birth to one of
Speaker 5: my twin embryos. I just would want to know, especially
Speaker 5: if it was a boy, what a little boys sibling
Speaker 5: of me was like, and to bring that baby into
Speaker 5: the world. And I'm just so curious, Well I actually
Speaker 5: do it? Probably not, but am I so tempted.
Speaker 4: Yes, I'd never even thought of that as a possibility.
Speaker 4: But that's going to become more and more of a
Speaker 4: possibility as egg freezing IVF becomes.
Speaker 3: More And you can only imagine conversations about ethics and
Speaker 3: the TikTok comments.
Speaker 2: It's just it's not going.
Speaker 1: Well, that's not mine for it.
Speaker 4: Would you give birth to your siblings and have it
Speaker 4: as your baby. Let's say both your parents have passed away,
Speaker 4: but you have their eggs.
Speaker 1: Would you?
Speaker 2: No, I don't want to give birth that badly.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, but thank you, My pleasure, my pleasure.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: Somebody on TikTok called the problemed solvers that's with a D,
Speaker 3: has come up with a comprehensive rubric on how they
Speaker 3: approach dating to get to the point of exclusivity. I
Speaker 3: will disclaim this is it's someone else. I've never seen
Speaker 3: anything like it in my whole entire life. They go
Speaker 3: on to say that date one should be ninety minutes flat,
Speaker 3: no more, no less, and you should be checking for
Speaker 3: mental stability. Are they a serial killer? Are they someone
Speaker 3: who can hold a conversation? If so, maybe that's it.
Speaker 3: You get in, you get out. Date two they call
Speaker 3: this operational independence. What restaurants are they picking? You know?
Speaker 2: Is there a vibe?
Speaker 3: Can we build on something? And then this is the kicker.
Speaker 3: At the end of the second date, you say to them,
Speaker 3: I would love to see you. I'm gonna let you
Speaker 3: plan when and where we meet up next. Now, this
Speaker 3: person goes on to say that it is a bit
Speaker 3: red hot, but weed oubt people who aren't serious about
Speaker 3: showing up for you or showing you good time, and
Speaker 3: aren't gonna follow up and aren't good at organizing. We
Speaker 3: can neither confirm or deny. But this is not our rubric. Now,
Speaker 3: date three, according to this person's about sexual compatibility, hold
Speaker 3: on now, it's about now you've confirmed that you can
Speaker 3: hold a conversation. They're not a serial killer. Allegedly, they
Speaker 3: know how to pick a date, where to go, how
Speaker 3: to make sure it's in the calendar? Date three, sexual compatibility?
Speaker 3: Now date four to twenty one. This is where we
Speaker 3: start getting into communication transparency. Do we have the same interests,
Speaker 3: shared values? Do we get along? Do we enjoy each
Speaker 3: other's company? And then only after date twenty one can
Speaker 3: you discuss exclusivity.
Speaker 1: Okay, what constitutes a date?
Speaker 3: What is a date? I say a date has to
Speaker 3: be a defined place in time. It has to be quality,
Speaker 3: one on one time, and I would say a date
Speaker 3: is more than two hours.
Speaker 1: Okay. Can a date be a booty call?
Speaker 3: No, you have to talk for at least half the
Speaker 3: time talk fine, a date can Now let's say a
Speaker 3: date can be a bitty call? Yeah, so okay, I
Speaker 3: think I think anything that you do offline together organized is.
Speaker 1: A date, and twenty one of them until twenty conclusive.
Speaker 3: So if we do a little bit of maths there,
Speaker 3: if you do a date a week, then you've got
Speaker 3: to be exclusive in five weeks.
Speaker 2: Roughly four weeks.
Speaker 1: I didn't destruct you. You didn't struck me as someone who.
Speaker 2: Is four weeks?
Speaker 1: What a date a week for four weeks is four dates?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: Sorry?
Speaker 3: A date a week for my data week for a month.
Speaker 3: Wait no, no, no, no, no, no no. We have never
Speaker 3: behaved this stupidly in your whole life.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm not like, I'm not prepared for you to
Speaker 4: be that daft, Like I actually feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 5: Was that?
Speaker 1: Okay? It actually crazy, it's.
Speaker 4: Actually horrible being the person that has more sense.
Speaker 3: You don't feel good for me either, I will admit.
Speaker 3: But that's to say we're all human in the room. Okay,
Speaker 3: I will say I reckon that. The general idea is
Speaker 3: that after three months you.
Speaker 4: Consider being exclusive, but I think the four month approach
Speaker 4: is probably the more considered.
Speaker 3: Yeah, while I don't agree with what the rules for
Speaker 3: date one, two and three are, I will say, if
Speaker 3: you're planning for longevity, twenty one dates or four months
Speaker 3: before exclusivity is reasonable because you know and I know
Speaker 3: that it's not all well up here for both of us,
Speaker 3: and we put on a good front.
Speaker 4: Ye.
Speaker 2: Okay, the mask will slip.
Speaker 3: The mask hast a slip, and at four at that
Speaker 3: point it's off.
Speaker 2: So if you want to stay, you've been warned. MUMMAE
Speaker 2: can I listen to Flex and Rooms.
Speaker 1: Flex and fromes O cater.
Speaker 4: Not everyone knows this. However, I actually did a degree
Speaker 4: in advertising at university. Yes, I went to university before
Speaker 4: realizing the hex step was the thing. I thought university
Speaker 4: was free.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very confusing.
Speaker 4: No one told us that that is really the biggest conspiracy.
Speaker 3: You don't wun't see numbers when you apply for you
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even know how much it spit costs just
Speaker 3: I couldn't even dispute it.
Speaker 1: Are some courses more sensitive than others? Surely?
Speaker 6: Oh what I used to work at a university.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Okay, we talk to you.
Speaker 2: We've got friends in nine places.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I used to work in shit in admin. So
Speaker 6: there's three different bands based on what degree you have.
Speaker 6: So if you have an arts degree, you're in the
Speaker 6: bottom band, which is at least expensive. Yeah, and it's
Speaker 6: calculated based on your earning capabilities. Oh so arts degrees girls,
Speaker 6: it's cheap because you probably won't earn very much.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 6: But if you are going to be a doctor, you're
Speaker 6: going to swing scientific. You're probably going to mean band one,
Speaker 6: which makes you degree. It is going to cost more.
Speaker 1: That is so much.
Speaker 3: I love when you speak, Bob. How can we get
Speaker 3: you on the micromorphone obsessed with her.
Speaker 1: That is the most backward stuff I've ever seen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but we live in a backward society. Did you
Speaker 3: or did you not see the maybolene mascar ad?
Speaker 1: No, but I just saw it. Then the maybolene miscar.
Speaker 4: Ad is a outdoor activation type. Okay, come degree, It
Speaker 4: was seven years ago, but you know.
Speaker 3: So there's a video of like a I think it's
Speaker 3: like a train or a tube in London and it's
Speaker 3: pulled in.
Speaker 2: It pulls into a.
Speaker 3: Station to have its oversized lashes kind of swept back
Speaker 3: by a Mascar brush.
Speaker 2: It's very meta.
Speaker 3: It's like the telephone pole is a Mascar brush and
Speaker 3: then the train has eyelashes.
Speaker 2: And this is twenty twenty three.
Speaker 3: I was watching this video a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 3: that was from the eighties, and there was this guy,
Speaker 3: a futurist, talking about how the world is on track
Speaker 3: to get exponentially weirder and weirder and weirder, and we're
Speaker 3: going to collapse from the weirdness and have to just
Speaker 3: go back to the most base, sick, stale, hot together
Speaker 3: lifestyle because it just gets so weird. We don't have
Speaker 3: the capacity this is one of those moments if you
Speaker 3: haven't seen it, you type it into Google when you
Speaker 3: safely pull over a scar ad. The video is amazing,
Speaker 3: it looks really great. But I had just revealed to
Speaker 3: the girls that it was Ai. I met CGI. But
Speaker 3: isn't all the same these days. But it's CGI, and
Speaker 3: I'm not alone in thinking that it was real. Most
Speaker 3: people couldn't discern the difference, which actually worries me quite
Speaker 3: a bit because feeling like we're raised as this stuff
Speaker 3: is happening, being children of the tech world, I feel
Speaker 3: like we should have a sixth sense.
Speaker 1: The digital literacy is not literacy.
Speaker 2: Not literacy at all.
Speaker 3: I feel like if we can see something so absurd
Speaker 3: like a train with eyelashes putting on a scar and
Speaker 3: not think it's real, we are the perfect candidates for advertising.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we were made for this. I'm ready induction
Speaker 1: at me, show us more.
Speaker 2: I wish I could remember ads more often.
Speaker 3: But what I'm a big fan of generally, and we
Speaker 3: don't do this enough just product placement. Because I don't
Speaker 3: know if you've seen any of those videos, but there's
Speaker 3: this one girl on TikTok who has this series of
Speaker 3: when like let's say in the Kardashians, for example, when
Speaker 3: Kim's in her bathroom and they're not promoing Kim's own product,
Speaker 3: She'll take a screenshot of like Kim's vanity and try
Speaker 3: and like zoom in on the photos and retouch and
Speaker 3: to figure out what products she's using but not actually advertising.
Speaker 3: So like, what are people actually using generally? Or I
Speaker 3: love being in a movie and be like, oh, that's
Speaker 3: part replacement. If ever, you see a car driving and
Speaker 3: I see the emblem of the logo of the car placement,
Speaker 3: you're holding a phone placement, Why can I see what
Speaker 3: your laptop brand is placement?
Speaker 1: And I love it.
Speaker 2: I want to see more of that.
Speaker 4: Well, that is flexing from's tips advertising onkter. I was
Speaker 4: doing my weekly scroll on TikTok believe it on and everyone.
Speaker 4: I actually only go on TikTok once every ten days. Really, yeah,
Speaker 4: for some reason, the algorithm you are.
Speaker 3: Such a anomaly. Not an anomaly. What's the other word
Speaker 3: I'm looking for?
Speaker 2: You know the word?
Speaker 3: She's not an anomally she enigma, yes, and enigma. Just everything
Speaker 3: about the firm's experience, in not a derogatory way, is
Speaker 3: so extremely contradictory.
Speaker 2: I cannot wrap my head around it.
Speaker 3: Frum is one of the most online people I know
Speaker 3: who just managed to have like zero screen time. I
Speaker 3: don't understand the quirkiest person I know hand on heart
Speaker 3: who doesn't want to be seen or described as quirky.
Speaker 2: It's just like every day.
Speaker 3: But please continue, I yeah, don't need to defend yourself.
Speaker 1: One every ten days.
Speaker 4: Yes, TikTok exploration simply for content reason. And I came
Speaker 4: across this by a person called Dana Dozzy. That's two
Speaker 4: z's and two wives. On the end, she writes, when
Speaker 4: you discover that your nervous system holds the key to
Speaker 4: the way you experience reality, and being dysregulated means you
Speaker 4: will literally be shown a scarier world on purpose as
Speaker 4: a way your body is trying to ensure youse is
Speaker 4: a wild realization to have. Regulating your nervous system is
Speaker 4: the first layer to building a life you don't need
Speaker 4: to escape from.
Speaker 1: This should be taught in schools, but you're learning it now.
Speaker 3: Me going on Google and writing what does it mean
Speaker 3: to regulate your nervous system?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: Is it so?
Speaker 1: What I got from this TikTok?
Speaker 4: First of all, I thought it was quite revolutionary because
Speaker 4: I believe there is a fallacy that most of us
Speaker 4: subscribed to myself included in a previous time, that your
Speaker 4: life is dictated by things that are happening outside of
Speaker 4: your control and outside of your physical body.
Speaker 1: Flex Please tell me what your findings are.
Speaker 3: Okay, here are some signs of a disregulated nervous system.
Speaker 3: I think that might be quite helpful. Elevated or irregular
Speaker 3: heart rate, anxiety, agitation, nausea, feeling off, shortness of breath,
Speaker 3: feeling frozen or stuck, sweating, feeling on edge, feeling overstimulated.
Speaker 3: I think that paints a pretty good picture.
Speaker 1: So high levels of cortisol.
Speaker 4: So I haven't really done much research, but from all
Speaker 4: the things I've read over my lifetime, I think there
Speaker 4: are a few things you can do to that your
Speaker 4: nervous system. Number one, do not consume too much alcohol
Speaker 4: because this will spike your dopamine and will lead to
Speaker 4: some horrible days afterwards if we're abusing.
Speaker 3: Before you get to point two and three, just referencing
Speaker 3: the TikTok, the fact that it says being dysregulated means
Speaker 3: you'll literally be shown a scarier world on purpose. Yes,
Speaker 3: that I find so harrowing because I've had a lot
Speaker 3: of feedback in my time that people think that I
Speaker 3: come across a little bit like toxicly positive or so
Speaker 3: optimistic about stuff like.
Speaker 2: Just gonna work out, like everything's fine.
Speaker 3: But I really feel that way a lot of the time,
Speaker 3: and like, I don't think that.
Speaker 2: I am a realist or toxically positive at all.
Speaker 3: But then, in contrast to this, if people are literally
Speaker 3: experiencing a far scary world, like if I walk into
Speaker 3: a room of people and feel quite safe by virtue
Speaker 3: of just that being my experience, and you walk into
Speaker 3: a room and feel nervous because you're like, who are
Speaker 3: these people?
Speaker 2: I don't know them.
Speaker 3: Of course you're not gonna validate my experience, like I'm
Speaker 3: not validating yours.
Speaker 1: Can I say that?
Speaker 4: I think people who think that you are that way
Speaker 4: are people that have just seen how colorful your Instagram
Speaker 4: is and haven't actually watched anything.
Speaker 2: And she wears all black every day in a row
Speaker 2: for six months.
Speaker 1: Everyone's helb encoded.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's like no, But like if you see.
Speaker 3: Past the or black, just a bubbly girl, Yeah, I
Speaker 3: think as well.
Speaker 1: The breathing techniques are very important. Often.
Speaker 4: I've been finding myself in the last few months realizing
Speaker 4: that I haven't been breathing. I've been not breathing deeply,
Speaker 4: so I go I started breathing through my nose because apparently,
Speaker 4: O your mouth is bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which I never did, but I know you're a
Speaker 2: mouth breather.
Speaker 4: I don't think I am either, but I've just when
Speaker 4: I realized, oh, I'm not breathing, I think, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna breathe. I'm gonna do it through my nose
Speaker 4: because when I realize I'm not breathing other than go
Speaker 4: through my mouth. So that's the second phase of training.
Speaker 4: Learning about cortisol dopamine, how certain things that you consume
Speaker 4: changes those chemicals in your brain is very helpful. Like
Speaker 4: I said, the realization for me that your brain and
Speaker 4: your body are connected, or so your gut is connected
Speaker 4: to your brain and you're oceans has been very helpful.
Speaker 4: Do I take that into account in what I eat
Speaker 4: and what I consume? No, However, it's always great food
Speaker 4: for thought.
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