WEBVTT - MINI: Ask Uncut... My boss is flirting with me, what should I do? 😬

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<v Speaker 1>Fast Ask One part is a bit of a fan

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<v Speaker 1>favorite here at the Pickup and something that Laura and

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<v Speaker 1>I do on our podcast Life Uncut. Every single week,

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<v Speaker 1>you guys write in, or call up, or text into

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<v Speaker 1>the line your predicaments of the week. We do our

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<v Speaker 1>best to answer them. Today we have one that we

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<v Speaker 1>haven't had before. Sam is having some issues with her

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<v Speaker 1>boss at work, making it feel very uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 2>Hi, Samy, talk to us. What's going on?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay? So, I'm an executive assistant in an office type

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<v Speaker 3>environment to a male boss. And as time's gone on

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<v Speaker 3>over the last nine months that I've been in this role,

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<v Speaker 3>he's just getting a little bit more flirtatious, a little

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<v Speaker 3>bit more perhaps out of line with his comments. And

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<v Speaker 3>it's just I just don't know what I should do

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<v Speaker 3>because I'm nervous of losing my own job.

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<v Speaker 4>I guess is it your direct boss?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes? Correct? Money?

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<v Speaker 4>Do you have HR in the company, Like, is it

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<v Speaker 4>a big enough company that there's other people that you

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<v Speaker 4>can too about this as well? Or is it a

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<v Speaker 4>really small company wreck? Kind of nice? It's tricky.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a really big company. So we do have HR.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess he just hasn't done anything that completely crosses

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<v Speaker 3>the boundary that makes me question, if I go to

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<v Speaker 3>hr am, I just putting myself in a horrible position

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<v Speaker 3>of not getting like promoted or anything along those lines.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, what's doing?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, Sam, Like, if you don't mind us asking what

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<v Speaker 2>are the kinds of things that he's doing on a

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<v Speaker 2>daily basis?

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so just comments of like oh, I mean general

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<v Speaker 3>comments of you look nice today, or I really like

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<v Speaker 3>that skirt, or you know, just comments about what I'm

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<v Speaker 3>wearing or how I'm dressed is the first one. But

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<v Speaker 3>then he does go another step at times where he'll

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<v Speaker 3>ask about my weekend and say things like, so where

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<v Speaker 3>did you finish the night? Oh, I would have loved

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<v Speaker 3>to have been there, And that's.

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<v Speaker 4>That's yeah, And I reckon. I mean, I don't know

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<v Speaker 4>how you feel comfortable addressing this situation, but I think

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<v Speaker 4>sometimes the best way and the best course of action

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<v Speaker 4>is saying it in the moment. Like if he says

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<v Speaker 4>makes that comment, oh, I would have liked to have

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<v Speaker 4>been there, just be like, oh, that makes me feel

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<v Speaker 4>pretty uncomfortable when you say that. And the thing is

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<v Speaker 4>is that the more that he says these things and

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<v Speaker 4>gets away with it. The more that he starts to

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<v Speaker 4>think you're okay with it when you're absolutely not testing

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<v Speaker 4>the water. Yeah, and then he's pushing the envelope a

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<v Speaker 4>little bit further. And I'm so sorry you're in this position,

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<v Speaker 4>because you shouldn't go to work and have to be

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<v Speaker 4>made to feel uncomfortable by anyone. But I do think

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<v Speaker 4>that if you don't say something, you're either going to

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<v Speaker 4>get to a place where it's gone on for so

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<v Speaker 4>long that you don't know how to manage it, or

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<v Speaker 4>it's going to turn into such a big thing that

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<v Speaker 4>you feel really uncomfortable in your own workplace.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And also I would say, if I understand, and

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<v Speaker 2>I know why, you don't want it to become a

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<v Speaker 2>public issue and you don't want him to be aware

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<v Speaker 2>of it, at least let hr know. So then if

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<v Speaker 2>one day it does progress to a point where you're

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<v Speaker 2>extremely uncomfortable, there's a paper trail and it's not you know,

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<v Speaker 2>boy who gribe wolf, which unfortunately is what happens in

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<v Speaker 2>these big workplaces, especially when you're working with executives.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, talking from my own experience,

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<v Speaker 4>I had a really uncomfortable I mean more than uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 4>I had a real like so harassment situation happened with

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<v Speaker 4>me when I was in my twenties and I was

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<v Speaker 4>too young, and I also didn't know how to handle it.

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<v Speaker 4>And I look back on that time in my life

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<v Speaker 4>and if I had addressed it sooner, I know it

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<v Speaker 4>could have been managed. But it just it was the

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<v Speaker 4>type of thing that the longer I left it, the

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<v Speaker 4>worse the situation got for myself.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh I'm sorry, Law's And what now is you're older,

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<v Speaker 2>you look back and you think would you have done

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<v Speaker 2>it differently?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, at the time, one hundred percent. At the time,

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<v Speaker 4>I think I was like, oh, you know, he'd had

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<v Speaker 4>a few drinks, and like, I don't want to get

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<v Speaker 4>him into trouble, and I think I had a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of not compassion for him, but I kind of didn't

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<v Speaker 4>want to make a big deal out of something that

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<v Speaker 4>maybe would go away. And then a year later, I

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<v Speaker 4>was still dealing with the same thing and I ended

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<v Speaker 4>up quitting my job because of his actions, which is

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<v Speaker 4>crazy when I think about it now, But I was

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<v Speaker 4>twenty two and I didn't know what to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And you definitely shouldn't have to leave your job

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<v Speaker 1>because you're uncomfortable, Sam. The only other thing I would

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<v Speaker 1>say here is you said at the start he hasn't

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<v Speaker 1>crossed the line or done anything wrong to me. I

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<v Speaker 1>think he has saying to you he wishes he was

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<v Speaker 1>there when you wherever you ended your night. Is crossing

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<v Speaker 1>a line, and it doesn't have to be physical. He's

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<v Speaker 1>literally saying I wish I was physically with you where

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<v Speaker 1>if you were. That's inappropriate.

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<v Speaker 2>Let talk to HR.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, thank you, Thanks everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>No worries.

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<v Speaker 4>Sam.

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<v Speaker 2>If you've got a question you need some help, if

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<v Speaker 2>you can head to the pickup dot com DOTU and

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<v Speaker 2>you can enter your question on the wind page and

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<v Speaker 2>we'll get in touch. Just sucks, it does hey. Next,

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<v Speaker 2>imagine being stuck between a rock and another rock for

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<v Speaker 2>seven hours until you are finally rescued. That is a

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<v Speaker 2>true story that's happened this week to a nassy girl.

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<v Speaker 2>And this rescue story, I can't wait for the day

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<v Speaker 2>becomes an Oscar winning movie. I'll see the details after

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<v Speaker 2>this on the Pickup