Speaker 1: Ordinarily Speaking people see the happy faith on corp, but
Speaker 1: not a struggle behind it time.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Ordinarily Speaking, a podcast that celebrates
Speaker 2: resilience in sport. My guest this episode is the Nasi Cochanarchus,
Speaker 2: a young man who has shown enormous resilience to overcome
Speaker 2: injury after injury after injury in a bid to chase
Speaker 2: his tennis dream. Potential and talent has never been the
Speaker 2: issue for the Nasi. He cracked the top one hundred
Speaker 2: as a teenager and has beaten Roger Federer, who was
Speaker 2: the world number one at the time. The problem has
Speaker 2: been staying fit and healthy, and each time the Nasi's
Speaker 2: body went, his mind would follow. Every setback would lead
Speaker 2: to a rut. The candid and at times brutally honest,
Speaker 2: twenty four year old opens up on just how dark
Speaker 2: things got and how the love, even tough love, from family,
Speaker 2: helped him get through. Tennis can create an interesting dynamic.
Speaker 2: Family members are also teammates and advisors. I'm pleased to
Speaker 2: say the Nasi is finally back on court and almost
Speaker 2: upset the world number six and eventual semi finalist Stefanos
Speaker 2: sits a pass at this year's Australian Open. Please remember
Speaker 2: if this chat is triggering for you, there is help
Speaker 2: out there. Beyond Blue or Lifeline are just a couple
Speaker 2: of places you can go.
Speaker 3: I really hope you enjoyed the chat, ook FANASI, thanks
Speaker 3: so much for spending some.
Speaker 1: Time with me, pleasure. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2: I've been through so much on the injury front and
Speaker 2: the way that it has affected you as well.
Speaker 3: And the adversity that you've overcome.
Speaker 2: Can you take me inside your mind first, the moment
Speaker 2: that you won that first round match here at the
Speaker 2: Australian Open, because I feel like you had it a moment.
Speaker 1: There well, yeah, definitely, definitely very emotional, try not to
Speaker 1: cry too much, but that one kind of kind of
Speaker 1: got it out of me. It actually started well, I
Speaker 1: mean throughout the match. I was like at the start,
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let's just focus on this
Speaker 1: first game, then first set, and I was like, I know,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of work to be done. I won
Speaker 1: the second set pretty easily, and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm right here, but I know there's still a lot
Speaker 1: more work to be done because all these doubts and
Speaker 1: things come creeping in because you're like, hang on, what
Speaker 1: if I lose from two sets to love? This is
Speaker 1: like my golden opportunity. And I think if you're playing
Speaker 1: a lot of matches and confidence, that doesn't even come
Speaker 1: into your mind. But I'm like, shit, I don't want
Speaker 1: to lose from two sets to love. So then luckily
Speaker 1: I've got a good breakup. And then I got up
Speaker 1: five love, and I was like, hang on, I'm still
Speaker 1: not there yet. Like when you're up two sets love
Speaker 1: and five love, you're like you've probably got ninety nine
Speaker 1: point nine percent chance of winning the match, but like
Speaker 1: it's not there yet. And then as I came up
Speaker 1: from that change of events, I felt this loud roar
Speaker 1: from the crowd and just this loud ovation, and I
Speaker 1: started tearing up. At five love, I was like, shit,
Speaker 1: I cannot focus here, Like this is bad, Like there's
Speaker 1: no chance I'm winning this game. He served the first seven.
Speaker 1: I think I had like a tier running like down
Speaker 1: my cheek. But then yeah, just when I won, it
Speaker 1: was he missed a passing shot by like an inch,
Speaker 1: so I was it was just pure relief and pure elation.
Speaker 3: I was, I was stoked because you've been through a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's definitely been been a rough couple of years.
Speaker 1: The last opportunity I had to play in Australia, I qualified,
Speaker 1: I was the Open, but I knew I wasn't healthier.
Speaker 1: I knew I tore my peck during the last round
Speaker 1: of qualifying, so I knew I wasn't able to play
Speaker 1: the first round I played, but looking back was a
Speaker 1: massive regret because it almost ruined my year, or it
Speaker 1: did ruin my year. But hindsight it's a wonderful thing
Speaker 1: in tennis, and if I if I had hindsight the
Speaker 1: whole way, I would have done things a lot differently
Speaker 1: or a lot better. But yeah, itinite I had been
Speaker 1: a rough, rough years.
Speaker 3: What was it about that moment that sort of got
Speaker 3: you emotionally?
Speaker 1: Well, it's just playing and having that validation after a
Speaker 1: few years of just not being able to compete, or
Speaker 1: people asking me the same questions like healthy, healthy, healthy.
Speaker 1: It's not even hey, how are you anymore? How's the body? Like?
Speaker 1: That's literally the first question that I get, so just
Speaker 1: to prove to myself and the people around me, especially
Speaker 1: my mates. I hadn't seen me play Ausio Opened since
Speaker 1: I was really young, seeing like all the work that
Speaker 1: I've put in and the level I can produce on
Speaker 1: the tennis court again still after all the adversity. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was probably the relief and the happiness knowing that
Speaker 1: hang on, like, I'm not that far away and we'll.
Speaker 2: Get off to swear on this, we'll get off the
Speaker 2: hardcore tennis shortly. But that moment again, Stefanos sits a
Speaker 2: pass to push him. I know you obviously want to win,
Speaker 2: but just to push him. How much did that give
Speaker 2: you a mental boost given everything?
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, Like I've come back in the p and
Speaker 1: I've beaten some good players coming off an injury, but
Speaker 1: to do it on the world's biggest stage at home,
Speaker 1: it was tough. I won the first set, but I
Speaker 1: just put so much physically into it that I kind
Speaker 1: of died in the ass for a couple sets. And
Speaker 1: I'm going to be honest, after the first two sets,
Speaker 1: the last three sets, I was cramping everywhere. So I
Speaker 1: was just trying to manage myself and I tried not
Speaker 1: to show it too much. I think I did a
Speaker 1: good job of that. The pickle juice might have given
Speaker 1: it away, but I was Yeah, I was trying to
Speaker 1: push and the fact that feeling like I did physically,
Speaker 1: like all that fatigued after the first two sets and
Speaker 1: being able to last. This show showed what I can
Speaker 1: do mentally, and I think I've proven to a lot
Speaker 1: of people, including myself, where my tennis is at and
Speaker 1: what I can do given the right chance. So yeah, hopefully,
Speaker 1: hopefully twelve months time coming out with a W on
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 3: Okay, so give me a list of all the injuries
Speaker 3: and illnesses that you've been through.
Speaker 1: I couldn't even tell you. Not many people know this,
Speaker 1: but I was stressing before my first round of this
Speaker 1: year because my body wasn't pulling up how I wanted
Speaker 1: to in practice. So I got an MRI a few
Speaker 1: days before my match just to make sure that everything
Speaker 1: was okay, because I wasn't feeling that confident in my body. Luckily,
Speaker 1: the scan gave me confidence. It said everything was all good,
Speaker 1: maybe a little bits mentally, but at the same time,
Speaker 1: I know what I'm feeling, so my coach and Fitnesstran
Speaker 1: did a good job of managing it. But I remember
Speaker 1: when I went in for the MRI, I had all
Speaker 1: this lists of what I've gotten an MRI for and shit,
Speaker 1: it was extensive. It was actually it was like twenty thirteen,
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen, two and thirty and twenty fourteen, so they
Speaker 1: were felt like there were three three things every year
Speaker 1: that I was getting checked, they were either injured or
Speaker 1: coming off an injury. So yeah, there's been knee when
Speaker 1: like after my best result, I had probably the Federal win,
Speaker 1: he was number one at the time in Miami, building momentum. Again,
Speaker 1: the very next tournament in Monte Carlo, I fall and
Speaker 1: a sponsors signed and cracked my kneecap. So just stupid
Speaker 1: shit like that. It's just that that's been the tough part.
Speaker 1: It's ever since I felt like I've started to at momentum,
Speaker 1: something's kind of shut me down a little bit. So
Speaker 1: it's hard. I've tried not to dwell on it too
Speaker 1: much because I always think to myself, fuck, like, there's
Speaker 1: so many years where I could have missed and seen
Speaker 1: guys that I feel like I should be where they
Speaker 1: are and they're having great success and making shit tons
Speaker 1: of money, and I'm sitting there trying to whip out
Speaker 1: my theorbands and make sure I can get through this
Speaker 1: practice session healthy. So that's been the toughest part mentally
Speaker 1: because when.
Speaker 2: I spoke, I've spoken to your coach and your dad
Speaker 2: and your brother, and they sort of say that with
Speaker 2: every injury there's you know, every setback, there's a lull afterwards,
Speaker 2: and you know, and it hits you tell me about that.
Speaker 1: It's tough because you know you're always looking and you're
Speaker 1: always looking at the next thing, and you're like, maybe
Speaker 1: this is the chance, this is the year where I'm
Speaker 1: going to have a good year and I'm healthy. It
Speaker 1: just gets shot down like quickly with another injury. And
Speaker 1: then not just injury, but it's the time to get
Speaker 1: back as well and start building the confidence and playing
Speaker 1: and knowing you can get through matches in practice and
Speaker 1: then matches overseas against like high level competition. So it's
Speaker 1: just hard. It's that stops stuff. But where I haven't
Speaker 1: had that continuity, and it's just that reassessment of like
Speaker 1: maybe this isn't for me. Every time you get injured
Speaker 1: or have the big one, You're like, maybe my body
Speaker 1: is just not meant for this. But then eventually I
Speaker 1: I picked myself up and I'm like, fuck, I don't
Speaker 1: have forever to do this, so I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 1: pushing at it and see what happens.
Speaker 3: Were you always a determined kid or was there something
Speaker 3: that made you that way?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was always super competitive. I've told
Speaker 1: a few people this when I used to play basketball
Speaker 1: when I was younger.
Speaker 2: Todd has told me this story your coach about coming
Speaker 2: up and watching you in under tens.
Speaker 1: I think it is. Yeah, exactly, I was pretty selfish.
Speaker 1: I was a bit of a ballhog at times.
Speaker 3: But he said, once I passed it to you, you didn't.
Speaker 1: Get it bad. The way I thought of it is
Speaker 1: if I felt like I was the best player on
Speaker 1: the team, I'd give myself the best chance to score,
Speaker 1: So my teammates probably wouldn't have been stoked. And that
Speaker 1: probably explains why I chose tennis, because I said, if
Speaker 1: my team wins and I don't play well, I'm pissed off.
Speaker 1: If I play well my team losess, I'm pissed off.
Speaker 1: So I was only happy one way is if I
Speaker 1: played well on my team won. So maybe I thought
Speaker 1: asball wasn't the sport for me, and yeah, I became
Speaker 1: selfish and chose tennis.
Speaker 2: So your coach did say that day, when you're about
Speaker 2: ten years old, he went, yeah, I reckon, he's probably
Speaker 2: better off with an individual sport exactly.
Speaker 1: So I'm just super competitive, and that's a hard thing
Speaker 1: when you're injured, because you want to compete, but you
Speaker 1: know your body's not allowing you to the level that
Speaker 1: you want, and you try and make it look somewhat competitive,
Speaker 1: but deep down inside you know you have so much
Speaker 1: more to give and you can't show that. Then of
Speaker 1: course you read all the shit online saying like, oh,
Speaker 1: he's washed up, he's overrated, all this sort of stuff,
Speaker 1: and then after a while you start to believe that yourself,
Speaker 1: and that's what can affect you mentally big time.
Speaker 3: So social media has been really tough for you a
Speaker 3: little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean it's the cash twenty two. You know, you
Speaker 1: love it when things are going well, everyone's praising, You're
Speaker 1: pissing in your pocket a little bit, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden it's like, nah, has been washed up.
Speaker 1: But over time that used to affect me, But now
Speaker 1: the last few years, I know what I'm capable of,
Speaker 1: so when I see a headline or something, I kind
Speaker 1: of laugh it off. So it used to bother me
Speaker 1: a lot, but the last few years doesn't phase me at.
Speaker 2: All when it was at its worst. How badly did
Speaker 2: it bother you? Would you consume it constantly? Would you
Speaker 2: scroll through? How bad did it get?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think if you're gonna it got pretty bad.
Speaker 1: But I think if you're going to read the good
Speaker 1: stuff about you, you've got to read the negative stuff
Speaker 1: as well. I don't know, I'm interested. I like to
Speaker 1: see what kind of people are saying at times as well.
Speaker 1: My dad's pretty keen on me just getting off it
Speaker 1: and not worrying about it. But now I used to
Speaker 1: worry about it, but now I just find it entertaining.
Speaker 1: And sometimes more than anything, I use it as a
Speaker 1: motivator if someone doesn't believe in me, and just anything
Speaker 1: like that to get you going.
Speaker 2: For me, it helps me tell me about the shoulder
Speaker 2: injury because I hear that that was probably the worst
Speaker 2: that it got for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that was really tough, the shoulder injury. Obviously,
Speaker 1: coming off my first year on tour, I played sort
Speaker 1: of three quarters of a year and I got to
Speaker 1: sixty nine in the world, just turning nineteen, and I
Speaker 1: was playing really well on tour, and then yeah, I
Speaker 1: just lifted some of the wrong weights and didn't really
Speaker 1: wasn't aware of what I was doing in my body.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, had the shoulder surge and kept trying
Speaker 1: to come back, but wasn't really ready and I didn't
Speaker 1: see a real finish line. Outside of my shoulder surgery.
Speaker 1: I couldn't serve without pain for over a year, and
Speaker 1: coming off your best year on tour, you want to
Speaker 1: be able to back it up and coming back. I
Speaker 1: said to my coach, had I think I had three
Speaker 1: or four protected events left with my protected rankings, so
Speaker 1: I could get into all the Grand Slams. I remember
Speaker 1: I came back for my first tournament. It was against
Speaker 1: istaman In Leon in Paris, and I played an absolute
Speaker 1: stinker and I felt so bad on court. I felt
Speaker 1: like I felt like I was maybe playing the level
Speaker 1: of someone ranked about six seven hundred in the world,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, wow, like I'm shit. Like
Speaker 1: that's how I felt. After that match. I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: really bad, and I told I told my coach around me,
Speaker 1: I was hating tennis. My body didn't feel good, and
Speaker 1: I said, look, I've got these protected rankings, so I
Speaker 1: as well just pick up the cash for this year.
Speaker 1: If my tennis feels this bad, or if I feel
Speaker 1: like I can't see myself getting better or improving, then
Speaker 1: I think I'm I'm done with a sport. And he
Speaker 1: could see it in me mentally. He could see I
Speaker 1: didn't have the fight, and that's one thing I always
Speaker 1: had when I was younger. I had that competitive spirit,
Speaker 1: like I was trying to scrap for everything even when
Speaker 1: I wasn't playing well. And I felt like I'd lost that.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the very next week, I ended up playing
Speaker 1: Nisha Kory in French Open, off barely any tennis, and
Speaker 1: I pushed him to like the really tight four set match,
Speaker 1: and I felt like I had chances of winning. And
Speaker 1: probably since that moment, I thought, nah, I can still
Speaker 1: do this, so yeah, probably French Open twenty seventeen, I
Speaker 1: started kind of believing again.
Speaker 3: How close were you walking away from it all?
Speaker 1: Oh? Very close, very close. It's tough when you feel
Speaker 1: like you're a shelly yourself and you're just not being
Speaker 1: able to prove it. You feel like there's not much
Speaker 1: for you to do on a tennis cord. I've got
Speaker 1: really bad anxiety going places I hated, I hate, especially
Speaker 1: when I was injured I hated going places, and I
Speaker 1: just didn't feel like comfortable. I didn't feel like I belonged,
Speaker 1: which is weird because from the outside obviously you can't tell,
Speaker 1: but from the inside, like you know, you're battling through places.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I just I just definitely got
Speaker 1: very close to quitting a few times. But eventually I
Speaker 1: kind of I don't know if I need to do it,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I go on YouTube and look up some
Speaker 1: good results and it gives me some good hope. So
Speaker 1: it might be a bit arroging my self absorbed, but
Speaker 1: whatever I've got to do to get myself going.
Speaker 2: Do you know I have heard that from so many
Speaker 2: athletes on these post make you feel bad it. I
Speaker 2: don't know what sports people did before YouTube, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: I had Nathan Lyone on Season one saying I would
Speaker 2: just go and watch my highlights. I'd go and watch
Speaker 2: good you know, taking wickets in a good performance.
Speaker 3: What does it give you?
Speaker 1: I think it reminds yourself of what you can do
Speaker 1: and why you play the sport. You're not always you
Speaker 1: kind of always remember the bad stuff at times, so
Speaker 1: to kind of reiterate the things you can do well
Speaker 1: and to have a full crowd of places cheering you
Speaker 1: and supporting you and having those memories that that's the
Speaker 1: type of thing that keeps you pushing.
Speaker 2: Is it almost reminding yourself of the reality as opposed
Speaker 2: to what you've convinced yourself.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're thinking of yourself in that moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when you're injured, you kind of just think
Speaker 1: all negative a lot of the time, or especially if
Speaker 1: you've tried to come back and it hasn't worked, then
Speaker 1: you're even deeper negative. So yeah, for me, just looking
Speaker 1: at looking at some videos like that, and especially here
Speaker 1: and looking at that show Court three banging on the
Speaker 1: stands and having that atmosphere, It's like, fuck, this is
Speaker 1: why I play like this is this is why I
Speaker 1: want to do it. I still can believe in my
Speaker 1: tennis and yeah, it just it comes from the practice court.
Speaker 1: You know, you've got to go one step at a time,
Speaker 1: and that's where for me, having such a good family
Speaker 1: and good coaches around me and the good support stuff
Speaker 1: is so important because they never stopped believing even when
Speaker 1: I did.
Speaker 3: How bad did it get mentally?
Speaker 1: Yeah, very tough. Depression was a real thing. I didn't
Speaker 1: I didn't take any medication for it. My dad wanted
Speaker 1: me to, but I was like, no, I'm going to
Speaker 1: get this. I'm going to get out of this myself.
Speaker 1: Went and spoke to some people, but I didn't really
Speaker 1: believe that they knew what was going on. Even when
Speaker 1: you speak to professionals, it's like, yeah, they they can
Speaker 1: kind of say the right things, but unless they're living
Speaker 1: in your shoes, I don't think they have an idea
Speaker 1: what you're going through. So especially the thing is everyone's
Speaker 1: path is different. So for me, the mental health was
Speaker 1: definitely a real thing. But I yeah, it was pretty
Speaker 1: dark for a while, and just little things would bother
Speaker 1: me over time, stuff that wouldn't even Yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: as I said, I'd walk into cafes and I'd get
Speaker 1: really bad anxiety and I'd like, I'm going to get
Speaker 1: out of here.
Speaker 3: What would happen? Exactly happen?
Speaker 1: I just feel like really nervous. I could feel my
Speaker 1: heart racing, real strange stuff, that stuff that I'd never
Speaker 1: had growing up. And then eventually I just started doing
Speaker 1: a lot more things that I enjoy hanging out with me,
Speaker 1: it's going out and just like trying to put myself
Speaker 1: around positive people and upbeat people and just doing stuff
Speaker 1: I like watching NBA, like going to the beach and
Speaker 1: then playing tennis. Over time, I started to get that
Speaker 1: mojo back and that feeling back, and yeah.
Speaker 3: When was it. That's worse.
Speaker 1: It's worse. I've I've had different phases of it. Probably
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen was pretty bad that year after the shoulder surgery,
Speaker 1: after real Olympics, because I played the Olympics in Rio,
Speaker 1: but my shoulder felt like I said, about thirty percent,
Speaker 1: but I played because I was like, fuck, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing. Four years so around there was
Speaker 1: pretty bad. It also got pretty bad after, to be honest,
Speaker 1: after I think it was twenty nineteen when I played
Speaker 1: here Ossie Open, I tore my peck. I trained for
Speaker 1: six months building my way back up, and then first
Speaker 1: tournament back I tore the same thing when I had
Speaker 1: a while cut into Monte Carlo the next week. So
Speaker 1: that's when I didn't see like a little bit of
Speaker 1: an out as well. But I'd say probably a few
Speaker 1: years back was probably twenty seventeen. End of twenty sixteen
Speaker 1: was when it was really bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you were on your own, left to your
Speaker 2: own thoughts, what would happen and how long would you
Speaker 2: be on your own four or just be dark?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd found myself crying like my brother
Speaker 1: was then, and he flew back from Melbourne a couple times.
Speaker 1: But I'd just be crying in my room for no reason,
Speaker 1: like I just watch NBA and just didn't want to
Speaker 1: I'd get anxiety going for a walk when there was
Speaker 1: no one in the vicinity of like one hundred meters
Speaker 1: of me. So it was strange. I couldn't even explain it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, just over time, just shit changed and I
Speaker 1: just felt more comfortable and I felt fine, started getting
Speaker 1: in the gym again, building myself up physically, and I
Speaker 1: think that definitely helped me mentally for sure.
Speaker 3: Did you feel like your brain was just turning on you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like no positive thoughts ever came in, and if
Speaker 1: they did for a second, it would like switch back
Speaker 1: off really quick. I don't want to sound all doom
Speaker 1: and gloom here because I'm good now, but it was, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was pretty grim for a while. It was strange.
Speaker 1: You can't see the positives or you can't see any
Speaker 1: good things at the end of the tunnel. So I
Speaker 1: think only people that have gone through it can kind
Speaker 1: of understand that. But even if there's good things like
Speaker 1: right in front of you, you just can't see it
Speaker 1: at that point because you're so locked and consumed in
Speaker 1: your own thoughts.
Speaker 3: What would you tell yourself, Oh.
Speaker 1: I don't know it. I don't even know. It's just
Speaker 1: a lot of negative stuff pretty much, just like I
Speaker 1: just felt like I couldn't go outside. I felt uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: like just the smallest I've seen people happy with like
Speaker 1: make me, like set me off and make me cry.
Speaker 1: It was real strange. There was just this one moment
Speaker 1: when my coach's daughter, she's like two years old, she
Speaker 1: like reached out me for a hug, and I just
Speaker 1: started crying for no reason. Just weird shit like that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I don't know. I don't know, But as
Speaker 1: I said, it's a real dark place and I don't
Speaker 1: want anyone to go through it because as bad as
Speaker 1: physical pain is, the mental pain is way way worse.
Speaker 3: How bad was the physical pain as well? Was that
Speaker 3: okay for you? Do you have a pretty good pain threshold?
Speaker 1: Well? I think I did, but you wouldn't pick it
Speaker 1: with how much I'm injured. So people call me pretty soft.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, I'd like to think now I've got
Speaker 1: a pretty good pain threshold. But now the most pain
Speaker 1: pain I've been on court was Ossie Open a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago when I had to retire after a setup.
Speaker 1: That one physically was the most pain I've ever been in.
Speaker 2: What's your mindset in a moment like that? Like, tell
Speaker 2: us for those of us who will never understand what
Speaker 2: it's like to be an elite athlete, what's it like
Speaker 2: in that moment?
Speaker 1: I mean, when you're practicing in an injured you don't
Speaker 1: really care because you can kind of just go off court.
Speaker 1: You know yourself. You're like, fuck, my body's cooked here,
Speaker 1: Like I've got to take the time. I'll be all right.
Speaker 1: But for for that on court again, the anxiety sets
Speaker 1: in because I was going on to court and being
Speaker 1: like I can't last this, Like I'm going to play
Speaker 1: a few games and retire. And then then you get
Speaker 1: to let down. You feel the guilty feelings because they're
Speaker 1: like all these people have come to watch you. It's
Speaker 1: a packed house, they're going to cheer. They don't know
Speaker 1: what you're going through, like physically, they just saw you
Speaker 1: qualified and you're ready to go, and you're not going
Speaker 1: to tell people in the media, yeah I'm fucked, like
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to play this match, so
Speaker 1: I yeah, I don't know. That's the hard part. You're
Speaker 1: going out on court knowing you're not gonna win, or
Speaker 1: knowing you're going to pull out very shortly, and that's
Speaker 1: the that's the tough part. So you just got to
Speaker 1: kind of play and you feel like you've let everyone down,
Speaker 1: and that's the hardest part.
Speaker 2: Another common thing that I hear all the time, I've
Speaker 2: I've let my family down, I've let my country down.
Speaker 2: It's a lot to deal with as an Assiett.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure, especially when you had a
Speaker 1: lot of expectation growing up. And then, as I said,
Speaker 1: when you've been injured and you come back, you're like
Speaker 1: this is the year. But inside, you know, you're like
Speaker 1: I'm pretty fuck to you, like I can't I can't
Speaker 1: play this match. But eventually you've got to try and
Speaker 1: do what's best for yourself. And people have short term
Speaker 1: memories at times as well, you know, so it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's going to be shipped for the next few months.
Speaker 1: People are going to remember you got injured or you
Speaker 1: pulled out again. But I don't think people are thinking
Speaker 1: about twenty nineteen now. So that's one of those things
Speaker 1: where you've just got to build yourself up. And that's
Speaker 1: so we're lucky as tennis players. That is one of
Speaker 1: the positives. We do have another chance every week usually
Speaker 1: to make things better. Thankfully, it's not like the Olympics
Speaker 1: where most of the athletes have once every four years
Speaker 1: to like really shine. Tennis, you get a lot of opportunities,
Speaker 1: So that's the thing. You've kind of got to have
Speaker 1: short term memory and be ready to keep going.
Speaker 3: What is your family meant to you through all the adversity?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean they've been everything for sure. I think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if it wasn't I wasn't having a strong backing from
Speaker 1: my family and friends and coaches, I wouldn't be able
Speaker 1: to get back and have that belief to get back.
Speaker 1: So just being in Adelaide with them spending a lot
Speaker 1: of time and then getting me from where it felt
Speaker 1: like I was at point zero, helping me get back up,
Speaker 1: give me the confidence, mum, giving me the good Greek.
Speaker 3: Food to keep me going, and what's the go to
Speaker 3: to go?
Speaker 1: She makes his chicken thighs with a Greek salt and
Speaker 1: just yeah, it's magical. So I don't know she knows.
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 3: Every time your brother talks about almost this guilt that
Speaker 3: he has of not being there all the time, have
Speaker 3: you ever spoken to him about that.
Speaker 1: No, he hasn't said that, So that's news to me.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: It's very nice to hear my brother is. He's not
Speaker 1: the most vocal guy, but he can tell he cares
Speaker 1: and he thinks really logically, really clearly, when I don't sometimes.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I definitely don't think he should put any
Speaker 1: pressure on himself to do that. He's got his own
Speaker 1: life to live as well at times as well. So
Speaker 1: now he's been great. He's been good support. When I
Speaker 1: was battling a little bit in Adelaide, he kind of
Speaker 1: flew back and helped me out a little bit mentally,
Speaker 1: even when he's gone through some stuff. I try and
Speaker 1: it's weird because you're struggling yourself. You're okay to help others,
Speaker 1: but you can't help yourself, so that that's the weird part.
Speaker 1: And I think that worked for both of us. But no,
Speaker 1: the family has been awesome.
Speaker 3: This is what he said.
Speaker 2: To me, he said, I had the conversation with the
Speaker 2: old man. I should have done this, or I should
Speaker 2: have traveled here. If I was there, I could have
Speaker 2: changed it. You have sleepless nights yourself. I should have
Speaker 2: sacrificed more. And then and then you go and your
Speaker 2: butt heads again anyway, and you go, why if I
Speaker 2: come back to.
Speaker 3: See him again?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that happens all the time. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think he can be too hard
Speaker 1: on himself for that sort of thing. It's, as I said,
Speaker 1: hindsight as a good thing. Everything. At the time, you
Speaker 1: make decisions because you think they're going to help you,
Speaker 1: or you think that it's the right thing at the time,
Speaker 1: and obviously looking back sometimes it isn't. But who knows.
Speaker 1: Who knows. I think maybe things could have changed, but
Speaker 1: we're in a good place now, and I hope, I
Speaker 1: hope it's a sign of good things to come.
Speaker 3: Did you know he cared that much?
Speaker 1: I knew he cared, But do you smile? I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I was expecting that it's from him. He's
Speaker 1: not a very deep person like it takes him a
Speaker 1: lot to open up as well. So I'm surprised here
Speaker 1: and that stuff. But it's nice.
Speaker 3: It's almost like him caring makes you feel more uncomfortable
Speaker 3: than him.
Speaker 1: That's cool. I don't know how to react to it.
Speaker 1: Are used to it.
Speaker 2: You're listening to ordinarily speaking with the Nassi Kochanarkus in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, talk me through that, because that started with
Speaker 2: a big challenge as well for you health wise.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, it was tough because I spent sort of
Speaker 1: all of twenty nine or at the end of twenty
Speaker 1: nineteen trying to get my body right. I was able
Speaker 1: to win my first round at US Open. I hadn't
Speaker 1: want to run in the Grand Slam for many years,
Speaker 1: and then I had had the night match with Rafa
Speaker 1: and Nadal the next day, and I just remember after
Speaker 1: my four hour match my I think I retore my
Speaker 1: peck a little bit and it pulled up really badly.
Speaker 1: So I was unable to play that match. And I
Speaker 1: heard Kobe Bryant at the time was going to come
Speaker 1: and watch that match, so I was super amped for that.
Speaker 1: And then out of another Grand Slam. It's just the
Speaker 1: same old story again. So that was really tough, and
Speaker 1: I took time off to try and get myself right
Speaker 1: for the January and I was coming into January feeling
Speaker 1: really good, and then my throat started burning all of
Speaker 1: a sudden sort of end of December, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is strange. I wasn't sure if it was something
Speaker 1: to do with the air with the bush fires at
Speaker 1: the time in Australia. And when I saw a GP,
Speaker 1: they said, my tonsils have flared up like crazy. So
Speaker 1: I was like a bit of tonsil artist. Whatever, I'll
Speaker 1: be fine. Ended up getting a blood test. The lady
Speaker 1: told me I glandula fever. So that wasn't good.
Speaker 3: And then in that moment, come on, you're feeling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, that's taking the piss now, surely.
Speaker 1: So that one. That's exactly what I thought at the
Speaker 1: time because I was actually healthy. I felt like I
Speaker 1: had a good preseason. I remember I came back home
Speaker 1: to Adelaide and started training. I was telling my coaches Todds,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm feeling good, I'm feeling fit, and
Speaker 1: then like I was hitting for like two minutes and
Speaker 1: gassing out. They're like, mate, have you done any any work.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm telling you I've been training. Something doesn't
Speaker 1: feel right. Though, like I've got no energy and I
Speaker 1: can't breathe, and they just thought I'd just been fucking
Speaker 1: around a whole off sea and and not focusing and
Speaker 1: not training hard. But I was like, I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: I've been finished trainers with me, I've been training hard,
Speaker 1: I've been feeling all right. And then yeah, it turns
Speaker 1: out a glanzula fever and yeah, ended up being in
Speaker 1: hospital for sort of five straight days, and a girl
Speaker 1: I was seeing at the time told me I stopped
Speaker 1: breathing when I was sleeping because my throat was so swollen.
Speaker 1: So I'd like go through like thirty seconds a piece
Speaker 1: where I just like stop breathing, which I had no
Speaker 1: idea because I was like, sometimes you have a block nose,
Speaker 1: so you kind of end up breathing lately or later.
Speaker 1: But it was, Yeah, it was strange. So they hooked
Speaker 1: me up to a monitor where if I stopped breathing,
Speaker 1: the machine would beep and the nurse would come in
Speaker 1: to make sure everything's fine. So that was that was grim.
Speaker 1: I lost a lot of weight there. I lost, yeah,
Speaker 1: sort of thirteen kilos and I'm not like the biggest guy,
Speaker 1: so yeah, I definitely definitely looked looking out nourished. Was
Speaker 1: not healthy, and I don't wish anyone to look like
Speaker 1: one of those really old people with like sunken in
Speaker 1: like cheeks and it was bad.
Speaker 3: Evil character in a Harry Potter film was Yeah.
Speaker 1: I remember I was in hospital and in my bed
Speaker 1: and the guy next to me was like, I don't
Speaker 1: care anymore, just put me down. I was like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: this is not where I want to be. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: that was like I think he was kind of taking
Speaker 1: a piss because he actually looked all right, But I
Speaker 1: don't know, It's just not what you want to be
Speaker 1: in hospital.
Speaker 3: How long were you in hospital?
Speaker 1: For five days?
Speaker 3: That's quite a lengthy stink.
Speaker 1: Ye, it was pretty boring. I'm not gonna lie, especially
Speaker 1: when you can't sleep for two three days because like
Speaker 1: not even a minute because the machine will go off.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I think it went to a I got
Speaker 1: to a point where I told the nurse I was like, look,
Speaker 1: am I going to die if this machine doesn't go off? Like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should be okay, Well we're being safe. So I
Speaker 1: was like, if I'm going to be fine, just please
Speaker 1: don't please. I need some sleep because I was losing
Speaker 1: my mind. I was checking my phone every five minutes,
Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep. I was making the time go by
Speaker 1: quicker at night, but it felt so slow. Yeah.
Speaker 2: How long did the recovery take from something like that?
Speaker 2: How long was it until you actually felt okay, I'm
Speaker 2: healthy again.
Speaker 1: Well that was the tricky part. That was also probably
Speaker 1: a low point because coming back from the glandulo and
Speaker 1: then the COVID stuff, meaning like I couldn't go out
Speaker 1: and I couldn't like really go out and enjoy anything
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 3: And were you at high risk?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to be careful as well because
Speaker 1: obviously my immune system was pretty pretty low. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it probably took about five six months until I felt
Speaker 1: like I was getting back to myself. That's one of
Speaker 1: the I guess not good things because obviously it's not
Speaker 1: a good thing, But yeah, silver linings in me not
Speaker 1: being able to play it kind of gave me time
Speaker 1: to kind of take time and not rush back to
Speaker 1: shear all these stories about chronic fatigue when you come
Speaker 1: back from glendula too soon. So I was trying to
Speaker 1: be careful and luckily I was. That's where my mum
Speaker 1: came in handy. I put the weight back on and
Speaker 1: then some pretty quickly.
Speaker 3: Thankfully, those chicken thies, those.
Speaker 1: Chicken thighs got me. But again, yeah, hitting the gym
Speaker 1: and those chicken thighs, I lost like thirteen kilos but
Speaker 1: kind of put on like eighteen and that's a lot
Speaker 1: of ways. So I was just like lifting and eating
Speaker 1: everything I could find. I looked a bit like chunkier
Speaker 1: than usual, but I knew when I started playing tennis
Speaker 1: i'd lose that again.
Speaker 2: Your dad tells me that when you sort of moved
Speaker 2: in with your sister over in Melbourne that that was
Speaker 2: a real almost positive for you, and I guess he
Speaker 2: sort of said that your sister was maybe a bit
Speaker 2: harder on you than your parents usually are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, mum babies me a lot. I know a
Speaker 1: lot of Greek families have that at times. But my
Speaker 1: sister was kind of like a bigger brother sort of
Speaker 1: figure there. She was kind of getting on to me
Speaker 1: with things. But it was good because I love being
Speaker 1: at home in Adelaide. Love Adelaide, but also I feel
Speaker 1: like I needed something else to kind of get me
Speaker 1: because Adelaide sometimes had been a had some like bad
Speaker 1: moments there where, like when I'm back home. It always
Speaker 1: means I'm kind of recovering from an injury or something negative.
Speaker 3: At times a bit triggering.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I wanted to get out out of Adelaide
Speaker 1: and go to Melbourne and kind of yeah my sister.
Speaker 1: I was living with my sister and our husband Will
Speaker 1: and it was good, just had the spare room there.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of close mates in Melbourne as well.
Speaker 1: Obviously it was a bit tough this past year seeing
Speaker 1: them all, but it was definitely good. Good being back
Speaker 1: in Melbourne. It's my favorite sitting in the world, so
Speaker 1: brings back good memories and good VARs. Come here.
Speaker 2: Have your brother and sister of a pooled you aside
Speaker 2: and said, mate, you've gotten a bit ahead of yourself here,
Speaker 2: pull back.
Speaker 1: All the time. It's a rare compliment I get from them,
Speaker 1: which is good. It's very rare. So when I get it,
Speaker 1: I take it and hold it with both hands. It's
Speaker 1: very it's a very rare occurrence. So yeah, my brother's
Speaker 1: very short on compliments, but I know when he does
Speaker 1: give him out it means something. So I'd rather be
Speaker 1: it that way than them always telling me all the
Speaker 1: good things I'm doing.
Speaker 2: It's funny to hear that because he actually had a
Speaker 2: lot of really nice things to say about you.
Speaker 1: Because he keeps it in, he doesn't say it to
Speaker 1: me too much.
Speaker 3: It was the genuine love that I'm surprised by that
Speaker 3: for you, it was actually really nice.
Speaker 1: No, i'm surprised you saying that now. We actually are
Speaker 1: really close. We do get along really well, and we're
Speaker 1: not one of those people that are like, I love
Speaker 1: you brother, like all that sort of stuff. But I
Speaker 1: think it's just we just have a deep sort of
Speaker 1: respect for each other and we just get along. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I listen to everything he says. Has been on the
Speaker 1: planet a bit longer than me, so he knows a
Speaker 1: few more things than I do, So even if I
Speaker 1: don't admit to it, I definitely listen to him.
Speaker 2: I mean, you guys clearly have a really close relationship
Speaker 2: and you have some pretty honest conversations I've heard.
Speaker 3: Is that fair?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, for sure. I don't know. I've always been
Speaker 1: a pretty honest person unless I get told not to
Speaker 1: be at times. But sometimes I'm honest to a fault.
Speaker 1: But that's yeah, I don't know, that's just how I am.
Speaker 1: I struggle to bluffer a little bit, and I just
Speaker 1: just kind of tell people what I think, whether it's
Speaker 1: good or bad. Even about myself, I think I'm pretty
Speaker 1: pretty open and honest about it, So I don't know,
Speaker 1: I think that's the only way to be if you
Speaker 1: want to get places as well, especially with the relationship
Speaker 1: with your family. You can't sweet things under the rug.
Speaker 1: You've got to kind of talk about it and lay
Speaker 1: it on the table and go from there.
Speaker 3: What's the most brutal conversation you guys have had?
Speaker 1: I reckon it might've been in Lockdown. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't remember one brutal conversation, but I just me
Speaker 1: and my family kind of Me and my brother and
Speaker 1: sister went out each other when I was in Lockdown
Speaker 1: playing PlayStation. I just thought I was fucking around too
Speaker 1: much and not putting enough serious time in and then
Speaker 1: I just like went back at them for a little bit.
Speaker 1: But it was just stupid shit that I think siblings
Speaker 1: do when they argue. But no, it's been nothing too bad.
Speaker 1: Everything because it's good because you know, everything is going
Speaker 1: to a better place, or trying to make you a
Speaker 1: better person, or trying to help your career or something
Speaker 1: like that. So it's never trying to shoot anyone down.
Speaker 1: It's always constructive criticism, even though I may not feel
Speaker 1: like it at the time.
Speaker 2: Do you ever think that maybe you'd be more suited
Speaker 2: to beinging a professional gamer instead of ten.
Speaker 1: Yes, all the time. Well that's how I was getting
Speaker 1: my competitive fixed. So yeah, when I wasn't playing tennis,
Speaker 1: I'd still try and get that build up and that
Speaker 1: energy of beating people online. It's pretty funny. I'd cop abuse,
Speaker 1: so like, yeah, use your mum's credit card for this game,
Speaker 1: and it's just it's just funny, and I love going
Speaker 1: back at them for it. It builds Nick as well.
Speaker 1: He loves it too, and I think, yeah, when we
Speaker 1: get online, we just we just like to abuse people,
Speaker 1: especially if they abuse us.
Speaker 2: I imagine, though, even though you're an individual sportsman, that
Speaker 2: the family is just enormous. What role did they play
Speaker 2: in getting you out of the headspace that you've been
Speaker 2: in throughout your career?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they were massive. You know, It's it's
Speaker 1: one of the best things knowing you have a strong
Speaker 1: family and there with the good times, you see them.
Speaker 1: You look up to your box when you're playing and
Speaker 1: their they're front row cheering, even though my mom sometimes
Speaker 1: has no idea how the tennis scoring system works. I
Speaker 1: remember one year, one year I won the fourth set
Speaker 1: and she got up and was ready to get out
Speaker 1: of the stadium. I was like, mama's is a set
Speaker 1: to go? There were two sets all. She had no
Speaker 1: idea what was going on. It's good it's timeless with
Speaker 1: her sometimes as well. She doesn't even really care that
Speaker 1: much if I'm winning or losing. She cares more about
Speaker 1: if I'm having the banana on the court to keep
Speaker 1: my energy up. So it's good having someone like that
Speaker 1: that doesn't really have too much idea what's going on
Speaker 1: with tennis as well to balance it out. But you
Speaker 1: can see as well, Yeah, it's obviously not about the
Speaker 1: winning or losing. She just wants me to be happy
Speaker 1: and enjoying life. And that's what the family is for
Speaker 1: first and foremost, and then everything else is a bonus.
Speaker 1: But now they've all definitely played their part and helped
Speaker 1: me get back to this point. So yeah, I couldn't
Speaker 1: be more happy with the family I have.
Speaker 3: So how have you navigated your way through it?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 3: How you say you're in a better place now? How
Speaker 3: have you managed to do that?
Speaker 1: It's just I think it just takes time. For me.
Speaker 1: It was again looking back to get back on the
Speaker 1: tennis court. If I'm injury free, I'm pretty happy most
Speaker 1: of the time, and every time I've been injured, that's
Speaker 1: when I've kind of started to have some dark thoughts
Speaker 1: and dark moments. So just putting the work in off
Speaker 1: the court to get myself in a good shape physically.
Speaker 1: I know I've got a long ways to go, but
Speaker 1: I'm definitely definitely happy with how things are going. And
Speaker 1: then it allows me to be free and enjoy life
Speaker 1: on the court and off the court. Being able to
Speaker 1: play without pain. It sounds simple, but it's not some times,
Speaker 1: and it makes things a lot easier. You look up,
Speaker 1: you look forward to getting up every day. You're looking
Speaker 1: forward to getting practice to try and get better, rather
Speaker 1: than shuit. I hope I make it through this practice
Speaker 1: session feeling okay. So it's just a massive mental shift
Speaker 1: that helps, especially with what I'm doing in my career
Speaker 1: at the moment, which is trying to be a tennis
Speaker 1: player or doing that full time. It definitely makes my
Speaker 1: life more positive and feel better. But for me, getting
Speaker 1: back It was just about just looking back at all
Speaker 1: the positive moments I've had in my career and kind
Speaker 1: of using that as motivation and holding on to those
Speaker 1: moments to every day to think what I can do
Speaker 1: because I know I've proven it in the past, and
Speaker 1: when I have played, I have been able to do
Speaker 1: good things. And seeing guys my age do well pisses
Speaker 1: me off at times, but it also I use it
Speaker 1: as motivation and think, fuck, I'm either better than this guy,
Speaker 1: or I can be as good as this guy. That
Speaker 1: type of thing, and that's what you use.
Speaker 3: How do you free yourself of the fear of getting
Speaker 3: injured again.
Speaker 1: It's tough. It's still still for sure in my mind
Speaker 1: all the time, and I'm sure there's going to be
Speaker 1: more injuries going forward, but I think now I'm smarter
Speaker 1: with how to manage it, to make sure that the
Speaker 1: injuries aren't long term injuries and they're smaller things that
Speaker 1: you can kind of get on top of. I think
Speaker 1: injuries are never going to go away if you're a
Speaker 1: professional athlete, but I think if you can manage them
Speaker 1: better and shorten the time that you're out, that's the goal.
Speaker 3: Is that just about professionalism or what sort of stuff
Speaker 3: helps you know in that side of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely think professionalism is a big part of it.
Speaker 1: Some injuries are unlucky, but a lot of things you
Speaker 1: can kind of go back and see where you kind
Speaker 1: of messed up and try and do things differently the
Speaker 1: next time. It's obviously tough because I feel like I've
Speaker 1: missed a big chunk of my career early. But one
Speaker 1: of the good things was I am I did start young,
Speaker 1: which means I'm still young and I've got a lot
Speaker 1: of time to make it up in the back end.
Speaker 3: Are you bitter about the time you've missed?
Speaker 1: No, feelthy about it, to be honest. I try not
Speaker 1: to look back with too many regrets, but it's tough
Speaker 1: not to. But again, that's a good thing with tennis.
Speaker 1: You know you've got a chance and I'm sure if
Speaker 1: I can do what I want to do the next
Speaker 1: sort of few years, so I'll be happy. And one
Speaker 1: thing that stopped me or kept me going was I
Speaker 1: would have looked back on it thinking I wish I
Speaker 1: had a few more cracks at it if I decided
Speaker 1: to just give up the sport. So while I think
Speaker 1: I can still do it, physically, I'm gonna I'm going
Speaker 1: to keep trying.
Speaker 3: How much do you get out of keeping on going?
Speaker 2: Like, have you learned something from because obviously you haven't
Speaker 2: had the time, but the fact that it means I
Speaker 2: guess maybe more to you because of what you've been through.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, for sure. It definitely definitely makes the moments
Speaker 1: a lot more special. And just knowing you know where
Speaker 1: you were and where you get to, I think it's
Speaker 1: going to make the journey and the story or the sweeter.
Speaker 1: So yeah, just just knowing where I'm coming from, and
Speaker 1: I think it's going to be a good story. And
Speaker 1: hopefully I can finish the book or whatever my career
Speaker 1: and it's going to be a good one because hopefully,
Speaker 1: again it's just starting.
Speaker 3: How good can you be?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think I can be pretty good.
Speaker 1: I don't want to put a number on it, but
Speaker 1: I've just you know, I don't know. I believe in
Speaker 1: myself and I believe in what I can do. I
Speaker 1: push one of the best players in the world the
Speaker 1: other day off playing two matches in about two years.
Speaker 1: So it's yeah, I think, I honestly do believe the
Speaker 1: sky is the limit for me. Sometimes you need matches
Speaker 1: to validate that. You know, we've all got weaknesses and strengths,
Speaker 1: and I've obviously got to get a lot better. But
Speaker 1: I think I can do that by staying on court
Speaker 1: and given myself a chance, because that's the one thing.
Speaker 1: It's hard to put a limit on my ranking when
Speaker 1: I haven't even given myself a chance. I haven't played
Speaker 1: a full schedule ever. So if I can have a
Speaker 1: full year or a full few years back to back,
Speaker 1: then I can start getting a feeling of how good I.
Speaker 3: Can be, because that's the other thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2: And Grand Slam for example, that's two weeks, Like it's
Speaker 2: a lot of tennis back to back to back for
Speaker 2: somebody who's missed Yeah.
Speaker 1: A lot of time. Yeah, And that's what makes the
Speaker 1: top players so impressive to be able to do that
Speaker 1: over the years, for how long they've done it. It's
Speaker 1: super impressive and an ultimate testament to them. But that's
Speaker 1: the thing. I've got to give my self a chance
Speaker 1: by playing tournaments and having a full schedule to see
Speaker 1: how good I can be.
Speaker 3: When you reflect on it, what have you learned about yourself?
Speaker 1: That the mind's pretty pretty strong thing at times negatively,
Speaker 1: but more so you have the power to overcome anything.
Speaker 1: And just having that belief and that just confidence to
Speaker 1: keep pushing forward and having that resilience. I think it's
Speaker 1: it's made me pretty tough person going forward. So I
Speaker 1: feel like, honestly a lot of things that get thrown
Speaker 1: my way now feels like nothing compared to what you
Speaker 1: went or what I went through back then. So I
Speaker 1: feel like, even if it's another little injury here or there,
Speaker 1: I'll kind of brush it off and I'll be good
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 2: What have you told yourself in your mind? What is
Speaker 2: it that you've you know, for people listening who are
Speaker 2: wondering how to get themselves out of their own dark places?
Speaker 2: What is this sort of shifting mentality that you've made
Speaker 2: you think?
Speaker 1: I don't know. For me, as I said, it was
Speaker 1: just about doing things that made me happy and made
Speaker 1: me enjoy it. And then from tennis part, I just said,
Speaker 1: let's just fucking give it one more crack. And then
Speaker 1: I just kept saying give it one more crack every time.
Speaker 1: So it started off as give it one more crack,
Speaker 1: but it's probably turning to give it seventeen more.
Speaker 3: Cracks, But just keep getting back up.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Fuck it, to be honest, that that
Speaker 1: was my motto. I'm just going to keep having to
Speaker 1: go and whatever happens happens. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you giving me the time today and the
Speaker 2: fact that you are. You're very genuine, You're very honest.
Speaker 1: I try to be.
Speaker 2: What would it mean to you to actually have a
Speaker 2: healthy run at it when you take a step back
Speaker 2: and everything that you've been through, what would that actually mean?
Speaker 1: Oh, it'd be massive, it'd be massive. It's more just
Speaker 1: the unknown for me of what I can do. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know I could, I could have
Speaker 1: reached my peak. Who knows. I don't think I have obviously,
Speaker 1: But you know, I just don't want to die wondering.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. I want to want to know what
Speaker 1: I can do and give it a crack and give
Speaker 1: myself a good chance. And I don't know whatever happens happens,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to give it a go. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: pretty much it.
Speaker 3: I look forward to watching the journey onfold.
Speaker 1: You are.
Speaker 2: You are really fun to what and you are the
Speaker 2: kind of player that Australia does like to get behind.
Speaker 2: Maybe we just haven't seen enough of you to get
Speaker 2: annoyed of you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you probably sick me seeing but I know this
Speaker 1: guy again, but hopefully not. Yeah, hopefully I can keep
Speaker 1: it interesting. I like to hopefully entertain people, and obviously
Speaker 1: that's why I like playing in Australia and having that
Speaker 1: support in the crowd, especially over the last few weeks.
Speaker 1: As meant everything, I didn't expect the traction that I've gotten,
Speaker 1: so it's been unreal and hopefully I can give everyone
Speaker 1: a bit more to cheer about.
Speaker 3: You're proud of yourself, Yeah I am.
Speaker 1: I am to be honest, but yeah, I've got a
Speaker 1: long way to go so I can be proud of Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you so much.
Speaker 3: I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Too soon time.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to Ordinarily Speaking. I hope you enjoyed
Speaker 2: the chat with the NASI. He is hoping he gets
Speaker 2: a proper run at it. Don't forget if you want
Speaker 2: to get in touch at ordinarily Underscore Speaking on Instagram
Speaker 2: or at narrowly Underscore Meadows on Twitter. Haven't you up
Speaker 2: on Wednesday? He'd subscribe and tell you mates, thanks again?
Speaker 3: Mother loving you look at them, you know the silence, sound.
Speaker 1: I can use a lead from you.
Speaker 3: Ride a bad Tell me that you want to be
Speaker 3: Just Let me that you want to be God because
Speaker 3: I'm compensrateing the fire. Send me that you want a
Speaker 3: big