WEBVTT - "Open To Working On My Mental Health ✌️"  & Other Red Flags 🚩

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast. It's flexin Frumiani. I am

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<v Speaker 1>using this Mac Prep and Prime Fix Broumetan with a

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<v Speaker 1>gold light little sparkle in it. It looks pretty good

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<v Speaker 1>if you need a refresh anyway. Not sponsored, just love

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<v Speaker 1>sharing products. I'm mentoring my beauty. Beauty blogger you Rah.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the potty babes Flex and Rooms arm Kaita mark

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<v Speaker 1>my word, Liliana Hankan. Ballet flats are back.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I'm aware, so you cranking them?

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<v Speaker 1>Tell me why? Last week I happened upon a pair

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<v Speaker 1>of twenty thirteen vintage bed ballet flats in your home

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<v Speaker 1>in my home, yes, in my parents' home. And they're

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<v Speaker 1>the ones that are grippie, have like an octopus on

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<v Speaker 1>the bottom. Yeah, very very comfortable. Yeah, the ones you

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<v Speaker 1>pop in your clutch on a night out.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm aware.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm telling you they're coming back. Tell me why.

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<v Speaker 1>When I posted it on my story, eighty percent in

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<v Speaker 1>the poll said they're fuggly and to put them back

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<v Speaker 1>in the cupboard. Girl, Then tell me why.

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<v Speaker 3>One late week, late one way, one leg I'm in

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<v Speaker 3>fire waiter. Tell me why.

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<v Speaker 1>One week later, I'm strolling down Gold Street and blonde

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<v Speaker 1>I happened upon to choosey and there they are two

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<v Speaker 1>pairs of ballet flats in a brown and black colorway

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<v Speaker 1>with a tiny little stinky bow.

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<v Speaker 2>Not the stinky bow I call it, guys.

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<v Speaker 1>Ballet flats are back and listen like it just goes

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<v Speaker 1>to show. This is like when CROs were a thing

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<v Speaker 1>six years ago, okay, and only my most stylish friends

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<v Speaker 1>were getting around it, Like when you're so far in

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<v Speaker 1>the forefront taste maker that people on the street think

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<v Speaker 1>that you are weird and wrong.

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<v Speaker 4>It's like my Coca Cola passion fruit pulp concoction. You

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<v Speaker 4>people aren't ready for it. But let it be known.

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<v Speaker 4>I've said too much. I've said too much.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, next week, guys, I'll be wearing the ballet

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<v Speaker 1>flats with island ees. Get mum to express posts.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Like wearing a hat. I always say, guys, if you

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<v Speaker 1>need to increase your confidence, put a hat on and

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<v Speaker 1>go outside. Okay, per It's hard.

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<v Speaker 2>But you get it done.

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<v Speaker 1>Tinder's twenty twenty three dating stats are here, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to share them with you. The audience do with

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<v Speaker 1>these what you will. If you're on the apps, please beware.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm out there, okay, and I'm watching, and I'm watching

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<v Speaker 1>the field pass. I'm seeing a little too many of

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<v Speaker 1>you saying physical touch is their love language.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what just dawned on me the other day?

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<v Speaker 4>Why aren't more people just blatantly lying on their apps?

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<v Speaker 2>Or maybe they are and we don't know they are. Surely, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's odd. Let's continue ry.

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<v Speaker 1>I say I'm looking for my cousin.

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<v Speaker 2>I lie about where I live. Oh that's I don't

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<v Speaker 2>need that information out there.

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<v Speaker 1>I do say I'm in glennar Ras in Victoria. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is from Tinder and they say that there

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<v Speaker 1>is a renaissance in dating driven by authenticity, which flies

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<v Speaker 1>in the face of what we just said. So Future

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<v Speaker 1>of Dating Report twenty twenty three reveals that seventy five

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<v Speaker 1>percent of gen Z believes they are challenging the dating

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<v Speaker 1>and relationship standards they were passed down to them.

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<v Speaker 2>You would, wouldn't you?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's the story is old, a start a revolutionary.

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<v Speaker 1>The key takeaways are eighty percent of eighteen to twenty

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<v Speaker 1>five year olds agree that their own self care is

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<v Speaker 1>the top of their priority, and seventy nine percent want

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<v Speaker 1>prospective partners to do the same. Even more interesting, close

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<v Speaker 1>to seventy five percent of young singles say they find

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<v Speaker 1>a much more attractive if they're open to working on

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<v Speaker 1>their mental health.

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<v Speaker 4>See this open to working on mental health. Let that

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<v Speaker 4>be the red flag that you need to look out for,

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<v Speaker 4>because open to working on is not the same as

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<v Speaker 4>we're currently working on.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Open to children is another good one to reel them in.

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<v Speaker 1>Open to children, Okay, okay. They say that gen Z

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<v Speaker 1>prioritizes value based qualities overlooks. So looks they value fifty

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<v Speaker 1>six percent as opposed to loyalty seventy nine percent, respect

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<v Speaker 1>seventy eight percent, open mindedness sixty one percent. Honestly, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>just be happy.

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<v Speaker 4>To want wah wah guys like okay.

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<v Speaker 2>This is interesting though.

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<v Speaker 4>Tinder is seen firsthand that eighteen to twenty five year

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<v Speaker 4>olds are thirty two percent less likely to ghost someone

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<v Speaker 4>than those over thirty three. Really, seventy seven percent of

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<v Speaker 4>Tinder members reply to a match within thirty minutes, what

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<v Speaker 4>forty percent respond within five minutes, and over a third

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<v Speaker 4>reply immediately.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, We're not here to do any sponsored content.

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<v Speaker 1>We just want the information, can we They're always on

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<v Speaker 1>the app.

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<v Speaker 2>Look.

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<v Speaker 4>I like these surveys generally because I am a data freak,

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<v Speaker 4>but I am mindful of the conditions in which people

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<v Speaker 4>are taking these surveys. People have a tendency to answer

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<v Speaker 4>aspirationally what they would prefer to be like, as opposed

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<v Speaker 4>to the reality. And I don't think surveys do a

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<v Speaker 4>really good job at capturing nuance. So yes, well maybe

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<v Speaker 4>I didn't ghost them, but I just took really long

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<v Speaker 4>time to reply. And when they texted me and said

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<v Speaker 4>are you ghosting me? I said no, oh, And then

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<v Speaker 4>I did that thing where I jumped off the app

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<v Speaker 4>for the you know, the first time in two weeks,

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<v Speaker 4>and then I deleted my account like I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't ghost, I just got off. You know.

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<v Speaker 4>I would like to hear more positive dating experiences, hacks, tips,

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<v Speaker 4>and success stories. I don't want this data that existing

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<v Speaker 4>data land. I think we need analog experiences and word

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<v Speaker 4>of mouth stories. I was scrolling on the phone, as

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<v Speaker 4>I do, but I try to do that less now.

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<v Speaker 4>I was so good about reading consistently. I would read

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<v Speaker 4>like four books a week from twenty twenty to like

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<v Speaker 4>twenty twenty two, and something about that TikTok attention span.

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<v Speaker 4>You have to work hard. I find myself flipping between

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<v Speaker 4>Kindle TikTok, Instagram kindle to it's a problem. But on

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<v Speaker 4>one of my temporary put the kindle down, pick up TikTok,

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<v Speaker 4>See what's pumping. This girl was talking about the Dolly

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<v Speaker 4>Parton effect, she said, and I don't know if she

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<v Speaker 4>coined this term herself. I don't know if it's a

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<v Speaker 4>known thing, but she's that what she's trying to instill

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<v Speaker 4>in her own life, particularly when it comes to dating.

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<v Speaker 4>But I think it's just prevalent for anything. Is this

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<v Speaker 4>idea that Dolly Parton is who she presents herself to be.

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<v Speaker 2>She visually appears.

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<v Speaker 4>As who she presents herself to be, and the general

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<v Speaker 4>consensus by people who exist around her affirm that she

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<v Speaker 4>is who she presents herself to be.

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<v Speaker 2>So this idea that.

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<v Speaker 4>What you see, what you think, what you say, how

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<v Speaker 4>you dress is consistent for you for how people perceive you.

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<v Speaker 4>This person was, I think trying to explain that as

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<v Speaker 4>we grow old and we become aware of how we're

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<v Speaker 4>able to be social chameleons. We start to suppress parts

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<v Speaker 4>of ourselves that actually quite integral to who we are

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<v Speaker 4>as people in favor of bolstering other parts that just

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<v Speaker 4>aren't really necessary or helpful. I was talking in therapy

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<v Speaker 4>a couple of years ago about how I was having

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<v Speaker 4>a really hard time. I was resenting people who wouldn't

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<v Speaker 4>speak up for themselves because I resented the fact that

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<v Speaker 4>I was in a position where I constantly had to

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<v Speaker 4>put so much context around who I am and who

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<v Speaker 4>I am whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>There was like.

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<v Speaker 4>Misplaced anger with that. I was like, that's not fair.

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<v Speaker 4>Everyone needs to speak up. I was like, no, nobody

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<v Speaker 4>needs to. And then I was speaking to a friend

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<v Speaker 4>about how I think that it's like a really great

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<v Speaker 4>gift that only people who know you really well understand

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<v Speaker 4>the nuance. It's the price you get for investing your

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<v Speaker 4>time in someone else. You get to see the contradictions

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<v Speaker 4>and the nuance, and that's really exciting. But what's also

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<v Speaker 4>really frustrating is that for the rest of your life

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<v Speaker 4>you have to battle against this idea that if my

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<v Speaker 4>hair looks a certain way, people think I'm this kind

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<v Speaker 4>of person. And so now you're having to constantly readdress

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<v Speaker 4>your internal narrative about yourself the moment someone doesn't understand.

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<v Speaker 4>And so perhaps it's healthy to become almost like a

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<v Speaker 4>positive simplified caricature of yourself for the benefit of like

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<v Speaker 4>not getting so fatigued interacting with the world.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I see, it's fascinating if I'm understanding what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like Dolly isn't the best example of this.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, I don't know dearly partner well enough to

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<v Speaker 2>know all I google it.

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<v Speaker 1>She's always looked very similar, but for a long time

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<v Speaker 1>she was extremely misunderstood, Like in the seventies and the eighties,

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<v Speaker 1>everyone thought she was dumb as do you reckon? That's

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<v Speaker 1>what it means, Mickey. She's a bit of a characterture

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<v Speaker 1>of herself. Yeah, Like she has like Dolly World, and

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<v Speaker 1>she has like a really kitch house, and so I

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<v Speaker 1>think that's her way of simplifying herself for the world.

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<v Speaker 2>Even though she knows she's complicated. She's like just presenting

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<v Speaker 2>what she wants.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I was when I was a CEO.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, and it works until it doesn't.

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<v Speaker 4>But I also think maybe the reason why it didn't

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<v Speaker 4>work so well for us is because we're also grappling

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<v Speaker 4>with which part of ourselves have we commodified?

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<v Speaker 2>Have we commodified the actual self or the brand?

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<v Speaker 4>And I think the more we separate the two, the

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<v Speaker 4>brand versus self, it gets easier to know when we

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<v Speaker 4>are stepping into performance archetype versus self.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, scary things to consider.

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<v Speaker 3>Literally, you're listening to Flex and frooms on Kita.

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<v Speaker 4>Am I rebranding or am I regressing? This is flex speaking?

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<v Speaker 4>But I know you know that here's the thing. Twenty

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<v Speaker 4>twenty three, I did that thing that people do, and

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<v Speaker 4>I set an intention. I said, this year has to

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<v Speaker 4>be hotter, it's got to be sexier, it's got to

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<v Speaker 4>be more enjoyable.

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<v Speaker 2>I need core memories.

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<v Speaker 4>You know, you get to that point in life when

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<v Speaker 4>you think of some of your most core exciting memories

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<v Speaker 4>and they're five years old.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh that's not good.

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<v Speaker 4>I think a lot of people fear aging out of

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<v Speaker 4>the things they used to find interesting. Right. Oh I'm

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<v Speaker 4>too old to go clubbing, or I'm too old to

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<v Speaker 4>go backpacking in a hostel. But my worry is that

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<v Speaker 4>when you finally find the time, the energy, the money,

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<v Speaker 4>the resources, one it's not there. Jakata is thinking. Two,

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<v Speaker 4>it closes down how many amazing experiences and festivals are

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<v Speaker 4>just not they don't they don't exist anymore for whatever reason.

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<v Speaker 4>Or three, we get so comfortable with living a mediocre

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<v Speaker 4>lifestyle that we don't even remember what I felt like

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<v Speaker 4>to be fairal and excited. So it was my personal

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<v Speaker 4>journey to bring back that energy of a younger version

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<v Speaker 4>of myself who was just a full time life enjoyer.

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<v Speaker 1>Would you say that I somewhat inspired this?

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely?

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you?

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you for me being in my life as a

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<v Speaker 4>friend and colleague is quite integral to my growth as

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<v Speaker 4>a person.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 4>With that being said, I've made a few aesthetic changes.

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<v Speaker 4>Now we do talk about astrology here and there. I'm

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<v Speaker 4>in my fifth house Perfection year, which means broadly speaking

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<v Speaker 4>that a big focus of mine is about my habits

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<v Speaker 4>and my routines and the things that I do on

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<v Speaker 4>a day to day that informed the big picture. And

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<v Speaker 4>so a lot of micro changes have been made, but

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<v Speaker 4>they're having a major effect. I'm getting outside more, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>socializing more. I've gotten hotter, I'm eating better, I'm walking

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<v Speaker 4>to work. What crazy babes I used to live in

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<v Speaker 4>my vehicle? I haven't driven in so long because I'm

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<v Speaker 4>just like getting my steps in or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going into gigs and stuff.

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<v Speaker 4>People who haven't known me my whole life think that

0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:12.120
<v Speaker 4>I am rebranding interesting. Flex likes hardcore music. Flex is blonde.

0:11:12.720 --> 0:11:15.240
<v Speaker 4>If you're a real one, you know I'm regressing. Yes,

0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:18.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm just going back to my roots. I'm going back

0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:21.640
<v Speaker 4>to whatever Flex between sixteen and twenty four was doing

0:11:21.640 --> 0:11:23.960
<v Speaker 4>and liking. There was a stage in my life for

0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:26.959
<v Speaker 4>two years where my hair was every color but natural.

0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.800
<v Speaker 4>It was green, it was neon yellow. Yes, it was lime.

0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:34.000
<v Speaker 4>She might come back, she might know. There was a

0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:36.200
<v Speaker 4>stage where I was touring the world, babe, being a DJ.

0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.640
<v Speaker 2>You don't know that, do you? You don't know that.

0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:41.720
<v Speaker 4>There was a time where I was on tour Groove

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.760
<v Speaker 4>in the Moon Skegs was performing. They said, come and

0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.800
<v Speaker 4>do a guitar solo. Can I play guitar? I cannot?

0:11:47.920 --> 0:11:49.440
<v Speaker 4>But I got on stage and did it anyway.

0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.280
<v Speaker 2>What do I mean, Skeks? Yeah?

0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:55.679
<v Speaker 4>I was living why because I was out and about

0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:59.599
<v Speaker 4>letting life decide what was happening next. And it's invigorating

0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:01.319
<v Speaker 4>and it's in infectious because I'm here to.

0:12:01.240 --> 0:12:05.360
<v Speaker 2>Infect people with the last I'm feeling infected. Let's get it.

0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.360
<v Speaker 1>Flexi and I have Instagram accounts also TikTok accounts. Mine

0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:17.280
<v Speaker 1>is frooms with three o's on both TikTok and insta.

0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:20.640
<v Speaker 1>Flexi's is flex dot Mommy. Is it the same on TikTok?

0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:21.480
<v Speaker 2>Not sure?

0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.400
<v Speaker 1>Ooh, interesting choice.

0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:24.760
<v Speaker 2>Anyway.

0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.960
<v Speaker 1>We take a lot of footage in the shooter. By that,

0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:29.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean flex takes a lot of footage that I

0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.440
<v Speaker 1>then asked her to tag me in on Instagram. So

0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:35.880
<v Speaker 1>when I came across this following TikTok, it piques my

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:39.079
<v Speaker 1>interest because I thought this is something flex should employ

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.760
<v Speaker 1>because it would make me take more images of her.

0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:45.560
<v Speaker 1>Please play the tape your friend out and about.

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:47.880
<v Speaker 5>Do not give it to them for free.

0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:51.439
<v Speaker 1>Instead, treat it like a playing card. So I got

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.480
<v Speaker 1>this fire for you last night. This is fire.

0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.199
<v Speaker 5>What do you go from there? I'll love you this one,

0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.520
<v Speaker 5>that one, then this one. I'm one this one for

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:03.319
<v Speaker 5>a bit. As will psychologically force them to take great

0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.920
<v Speaker 5>photos of you, so that they have something that traue

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.160
<v Speaker 5>with and not only is as fun, but over time

0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.360
<v Speaker 5>the whole frame group will have great photos of them.

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.200
<v Speaker 5>Candidly follow me from more big brain hacks.

0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:19.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh his name is It's Seth hank Issia on Insta.

0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:22.840
<v Speaker 4>The thing is I have just done this recently after

0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:27.679
<v Speaker 4>a situation I experienced. I was at a launch party

0:13:27.720 --> 0:13:30.880
<v Speaker 4>for a suit brand, very cool stuff happening, had a

0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.840
<v Speaker 4>film photo taken of me and two other people, and

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.760
<v Speaker 4>the person who took it got it developed and then

0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.840
<v Speaker 4>messaged me to say the photo is so fire, I'm

0:13:39.880 --> 0:13:41.680
<v Speaker 4>not showing you yet, like I need to wait for

0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:45.240
<v Speaker 4>the right time to drop it. Held this photo embargo.

0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:49.880
<v Speaker 4>When the photo dropped, it was phenomenal, fantastic photo, just

0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:54.760
<v Speaker 4>captured the essence beautifully. Recently, as a documentarian, I have

0:13:54.800 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 4>been punishing people, and I've been withholding, withholding the app sets.

0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.079
<v Speaker 4>Talking to my best friend. We're at dinner, a lovely dinner,

0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:05.480
<v Speaker 4>and I had, you know, devices out, had the digital camera,

0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:08.439
<v Speaker 4>I had my phone out. We're getting zero point five flash,

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.960
<v Speaker 4>no flash whatever. I took these great photos of her,

0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 4>showed of the view finer so she knew and she

0:14:14.880 --> 0:14:16.600
<v Speaker 4>knows she's my muse. I always had a good picky

0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:20.160
<v Speaker 4>of her, and I'm a great photographer. Hounds me the

0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:22.920
<v Speaker 4>whole night for these photos. I said, I'm not sending them.

0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:24.560
<v Speaker 2>Should I? You serious?

0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 4>I said, I'm serious. She said why, I said, why not?

0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:33.120
<v Speaker 4>It's my pickI the whole dinner. She said, can I

0:14:33.120 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 4>have the PHOTO'M like no. The next day she said,

0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.160
<v Speaker 4>are you serious? I'm like, I'm serious, babe. You're not

0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:40.200
<v Speaker 4>getting these photos until you step it up. I sweart,

0:14:40.240 --> 0:14:41.920
<v Speaker 4>you did this to me the other day, And how

0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:42.480
<v Speaker 4>does it feel?

0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:43.440
<v Speaker 1>It feels horrible?

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:43.920
<v Speaker 2>Yep.

0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.120
<v Speaker 1>And yet here I am wanting to take more images.

0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 4>And here you are having tooken none. So one might

0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:56.200
<v Speaker 4>argue that my parenting style isn't helping yet. But I

0:14:56.280 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 4>just feel like people have gotten too comfortable. You know

0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 4>how common it is let to have someone to take

0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.080
<v Speaker 4>a bad photo of you. It's too common. Not me,

0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:06.880
<v Speaker 4>not me anyway, suffer in silence.

0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:10.600
<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:14.480
<v Speaker 1>For more, tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.