Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast. It's flexin Frumiani. I am
Speaker 1: using this Mac Prep and Prime Fix Broumetan with a
Speaker 1: gold light little sparkle in it. It looks pretty good
Speaker 1: if you need a refresh anyway. Not sponsored, just love
Speaker 1: sharing products. I'm mentoring my beauty. Beauty blogger you Rah.
Speaker 1: Here's the potty babes Flex and Rooms arm Kaita mark
Speaker 1: my word, Liliana Hankan. Ballet flats are back.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm aware, so you cranking them?
Speaker 1: Tell me why? Last week I happened upon a pair
Speaker 1: of twenty thirteen vintage bed ballet flats in your home
Speaker 1: in my home, yes, in my parents' home. And they're
Speaker 1: the ones that are grippie, have like an octopus on
Speaker 1: the bottom. Yeah, very very comfortable. Yeah, the ones you
Speaker 1: pop in your clutch on a night out.
Speaker 2: I'm aware.
Speaker 1: And I'm telling you they're coming back. Tell me why.
Speaker 1: When I posted it on my story, eighty percent in
Speaker 1: the poll said they're fuggly and to put them back
Speaker 1: in the cupboard. Girl, Then tell me why.
Speaker 3: One late week, late one way, one leg I'm in
Speaker 3: fire waiter. Tell me why.
Speaker 1: One week later, I'm strolling down Gold Street and blonde
Speaker 1: I happened upon to choosey and there they are two
Speaker 1: pairs of ballet flats in a brown and black colorway
Speaker 1: with a tiny little stinky bow.
Speaker 2: Not the stinky bow I call it, guys.
Speaker 1: Ballet flats are back and listen like it just goes
Speaker 1: to show. This is like when CROs were a thing
Speaker 1: six years ago, okay, and only my most stylish friends
Speaker 1: were getting around it, Like when you're so far in
Speaker 1: the forefront taste maker that people on the street think
Speaker 1: that you are weird and wrong.
Speaker 4: It's like my Coca Cola passion fruit pulp concoction. You
Speaker 4: people aren't ready for it. But let it be known.
Speaker 4: I've said too much. I've said too much.
Speaker 1: So yeah, next week, guys, I'll be wearing the ballet
Speaker 1: flats with island ees. Get mum to express posts.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's.
Speaker 1: Like wearing a hat. I always say, guys, if you
Speaker 1: need to increase your confidence, put a hat on and
Speaker 1: go outside. Okay, per It's hard.
Speaker 2: But you get it done.
Speaker 1: Tinder's twenty twenty three dating stats are here, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to share them with you. The audience do with
Speaker 1: these what you will. If you're on the apps, please beware.
Speaker 1: I'm out there, okay, and I'm watching, and I'm watching
Speaker 1: the field pass. I'm seeing a little too many of
Speaker 1: you saying physical touch is their love language.
Speaker 2: Do you know what just dawned on me the other day?
Speaker 4: Why aren't more people just blatantly lying on their apps?
Speaker 2: Or maybe they are and we don't know they are. Surely, Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's odd. Let's continue ry.
Speaker 1: I say I'm looking for my cousin.
Speaker 2: I lie about where I live. Oh that's I don't
Speaker 2: need that information out there.
Speaker 1: I do say I'm in glennar Ras in Victoria. Okay.
Speaker 1: So this is from Tinder and they say that there
Speaker 1: is a renaissance in dating driven by authenticity, which flies
Speaker 1: in the face of what we just said. So Future
Speaker 1: of Dating Report twenty twenty three reveals that seventy five
Speaker 1: percent of gen Z believes they are challenging the dating
Speaker 1: and relationship standards they were passed down to them.
Speaker 2: You would, wouldn't you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the story is old, a start a revolutionary.
Speaker 1: The key takeaways are eighty percent of eighteen to twenty
Speaker 1: five year olds agree that their own self care is
Speaker 1: the top of their priority, and seventy nine percent want
Speaker 1: prospective partners to do the same. Even more interesting, close
Speaker 1: to seventy five percent of young singles say they find
Speaker 1: a much more attractive if they're open to working on
Speaker 1: their mental health.
Speaker 4: See this open to working on mental health. Let that
Speaker 4: be the red flag that you need to look out for,
Speaker 4: because open to working on is not the same as
Speaker 4: we're currently working on.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Open to children is another good one to reel them in.
Speaker 1: Open to children, Okay, okay. They say that gen Z
Speaker 1: prioritizes value based qualities overlooks. So looks they value fifty
Speaker 1: six percent as opposed to loyalty seventy nine percent, respect
Speaker 1: seventy eight percent, open mindedness sixty one percent. Honestly, I'll
Speaker 1: just be happy.
Speaker 4: To want wah wah guys like okay.
Speaker 2: This is interesting though.
Speaker 4: Tinder is seen firsthand that eighteen to twenty five year
Speaker 4: olds are thirty two percent less likely to ghost someone
Speaker 4: than those over thirty three. Really, seventy seven percent of
Speaker 4: Tinder members reply to a match within thirty minutes, what
Speaker 4: forty percent respond within five minutes, and over a third
Speaker 4: reply immediately.
Speaker 2: Okay, We're not here to do any sponsored content.
Speaker 1: We just want the information, can we They're always on
Speaker 1: the app.
Speaker 2: Look.
Speaker 4: I like these surveys generally because I am a data freak,
Speaker 4: but I am mindful of the conditions in which people
Speaker 4: are taking these surveys. People have a tendency to answer
Speaker 4: aspirationally what they would prefer to be like, as opposed
Speaker 4: to the reality. And I don't think surveys do a
Speaker 4: really good job at capturing nuance. So yes, well maybe
Speaker 4: I didn't ghost them, but I just took really long
Speaker 4: time to reply. And when they texted me and said
Speaker 4: are you ghosting me? I said no, oh, And then
Speaker 4: I did that thing where I jumped off the app
Speaker 4: for the you know, the first time in two weeks,
Speaker 4: and then I deleted my account like I didn't.
Speaker 2: I didn't ghost, I just got off. You know.
Speaker 4: I would like to hear more positive dating experiences, hacks, tips,
Speaker 4: and success stories. I don't want this data that existing
Speaker 4: data land. I think we need analog experiences and word
Speaker 4: of mouth stories. I was scrolling on the phone, as
Speaker 4: I do, but I try to do that less now.
Speaker 4: I was so good about reading consistently. I would read
Speaker 4: like four books a week from twenty twenty to like
Speaker 4: twenty twenty two, and something about that TikTok attention span.
Speaker 4: You have to work hard. I find myself flipping between
Speaker 4: Kindle TikTok, Instagram kindle to it's a problem. But on
Speaker 4: one of my temporary put the kindle down, pick up TikTok,
Speaker 4: See what's pumping. This girl was talking about the Dolly
Speaker 4: Parton effect, she said, and I don't know if she
Speaker 4: coined this term herself. I don't know if it's a
Speaker 4: known thing, but she's that what she's trying to instill
Speaker 4: in her own life, particularly when it comes to dating.
Speaker 4: But I think it's just prevalent for anything. Is this
Speaker 4: idea that Dolly Parton is who she presents herself to be.
Speaker 2: She visually appears.
Speaker 4: As who she presents herself to be, and the general
Speaker 4: consensus by people who exist around her affirm that she
Speaker 4: is who she presents herself to be.
Speaker 2: So this idea that.
Speaker 4: What you see, what you think, what you say, how
Speaker 4: you dress is consistent for you for how people perceive you.
Speaker 4: This person was, I think trying to explain that as
Speaker 4: we grow old and we become aware of how we're
Speaker 4: able to be social chameleons. We start to suppress parts
Speaker 4: of ourselves that actually quite integral to who we are
Speaker 4: as people in favor of bolstering other parts that just
Speaker 4: aren't really necessary or helpful. I was talking in therapy
Speaker 4: a couple of years ago about how I was having
Speaker 4: a really hard time. I was resenting people who wouldn't
Speaker 4: speak up for themselves because I resented the fact that
Speaker 4: I was in a position where I constantly had to
Speaker 4: put so much context around who I am and who
Speaker 4: I am whatever.
Speaker 2: There was like.
Speaker 4: Misplaced anger with that. I was like, that's not fair.
Speaker 4: Everyone needs to speak up. I was like, no, nobody
Speaker 4: needs to. And then I was speaking to a friend
Speaker 4: about how I think that it's like a really great
Speaker 4: gift that only people who know you really well understand
Speaker 4: the nuance. It's the price you get for investing your
Speaker 4: time in someone else. You get to see the contradictions
Speaker 4: and the nuance, and that's really exciting. But what's also
Speaker 4: really frustrating is that for the rest of your life
Speaker 4: you have to battle against this idea that if my
Speaker 4: hair looks a certain way, people think I'm this kind
Speaker 4: of person. And so now you're having to constantly readdress
Speaker 4: your internal narrative about yourself the moment someone doesn't understand.
Speaker 4: And so perhaps it's healthy to become almost like a
Speaker 4: positive simplified caricature of yourself for the benefit of like
Speaker 4: not getting so fatigued interacting with the world.
Speaker 1: Yes, I see, it's fascinating if I'm understanding what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I feel like Dolly isn't the best example of this.
Speaker 2: I know, I don't know dearly partner well enough to
Speaker 2: know all I google it.
Speaker 1: She's always looked very similar, but for a long time
Speaker 1: she was extremely misunderstood, Like in the seventies and the eighties,
Speaker 1: everyone thought she was dumb as do you reckon? That's
Speaker 1: what it means, Mickey. She's a bit of a characterture
Speaker 1: of herself. Yeah, Like she has like Dolly World, and
Speaker 1: she has like a really kitch house, and so I
Speaker 1: think that's her way of simplifying herself for the world.
Speaker 2: Even though she knows she's complicated. She's like just presenting
Speaker 2: what she wants.
Speaker 1: That's what I was when I was a CEO.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it works until it doesn't.
Speaker 4: But I also think maybe the reason why it didn't
Speaker 4: work so well for us is because we're also grappling
Speaker 4: with which part of ourselves have we commodified?
Speaker 2: Have we commodified the actual self or the brand?
Speaker 4: And I think the more we separate the two, the
Speaker 4: brand versus self, it gets easier to know when we
Speaker 4: are stepping into performance archetype versus self.
Speaker 1: Yes, scary things to consider.
Speaker 3: Literally, you're listening to Flex and frooms on Kita.
Speaker 4: Am I rebranding or am I regressing? This is flex speaking?
Speaker 4: But I know you know that here's the thing. Twenty
Speaker 4: twenty three, I did that thing that people do, and
Speaker 4: I set an intention. I said, this year has to
Speaker 4: be hotter, it's got to be sexier, it's got to
Speaker 4: be more enjoyable.
Speaker 2: I need core memories.
Speaker 4: You know, you get to that point in life when
Speaker 4: you think of some of your most core exciting memories
Speaker 4: and they're five years old.
Speaker 2: Oh that's not good.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of people fear aging out of
Speaker 4: the things they used to find interesting. Right. Oh I'm
Speaker 4: too old to go clubbing, or I'm too old to
Speaker 4: go backpacking in a hostel. But my worry is that
Speaker 4: when you finally find the time, the energy, the money,
Speaker 4: the resources, one it's not there. Jakata is thinking. Two,
Speaker 4: it closes down how many amazing experiences and festivals are
Speaker 4: just not they don't they don't exist anymore for whatever reason.
Speaker 4: Or three, we get so comfortable with living a mediocre
Speaker 4: lifestyle that we don't even remember what I felt like
Speaker 4: to be fairal and excited. So it was my personal
Speaker 4: journey to bring back that energy of a younger version
Speaker 4: of myself who was just a full time life enjoyer.
Speaker 1: Would you say that I somewhat inspired this?
Speaker 2: Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 4: Thank you for me being in my life as a
Speaker 4: friend and colleague is quite integral to my growth as
Speaker 4: a person.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: With that being said, I've made a few aesthetic changes.
Speaker 4: Now we do talk about astrology here and there. I'm
Speaker 4: in my fifth house Perfection year, which means broadly speaking
Speaker 4: that a big focus of mine is about my habits
Speaker 4: and my routines and the things that I do on
Speaker 4: a day to day that informed the big picture. And
Speaker 4: so a lot of micro changes have been made, but
Speaker 4: they're having a major effect. I'm getting outside more, I'm
Speaker 4: socializing more. I've gotten hotter, I'm eating better, I'm walking
Speaker 4: to work. What crazy babes I used to live in
Speaker 4: my vehicle? I haven't driven in so long because I'm
Speaker 4: just like getting my steps in or whatever.
Speaker 2: I'm going into gigs and stuff.
Speaker 4: People who haven't known me my whole life think that
Speaker 4: I am rebranding interesting. Flex likes hardcore music. Flex is blonde.
Speaker 4: If you're a real one, you know I'm regressing. Yes,
Speaker 4: I'm just going back to my roots. I'm going back
Speaker 4: to whatever Flex between sixteen and twenty four was doing
Speaker 4: and liking. There was a stage in my life for
Speaker 4: two years where my hair was every color but natural.
Speaker 4: It was green, it was neon yellow. Yes, it was lime.
Speaker 4: She might come back, she might know. There was a
Speaker 4: stage where I was touring the world, babe, being a DJ.
Speaker 2: You don't know that, do you? You don't know that.
Speaker 4: There was a time where I was on tour Groove
Speaker 4: in the Moon Skegs was performing. They said, come and
Speaker 4: do a guitar solo. Can I play guitar? I cannot?
Speaker 4: But I got on stage and did it anyway.
Speaker 2: What do I mean, Skeks? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I was living why because I was out and about
Speaker 4: letting life decide what was happening next. And it's invigorating
Speaker 4: and it's in infectious because I'm here to.
Speaker 2: Infect people with the last I'm feeling infected. Let's get it.
Speaker 1: Flexi and I have Instagram accounts also TikTok accounts. Mine
Speaker 1: is frooms with three o's on both TikTok and insta.
Speaker 1: Flexi's is flex dot Mommy. Is it the same on TikTok?
Speaker 2: Not sure?
Speaker 1: Ooh, interesting choice.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: We take a lot of footage in the shooter. By that,
Speaker 1: I mean flex takes a lot of footage that I
Speaker 1: then asked her to tag me in on Instagram. So
Speaker 1: when I came across this following TikTok, it piques my
Speaker 1: interest because I thought this is something flex should employ
Speaker 1: because it would make me take more images of her.
Speaker 1: Please play the tape your friend out and about.
Speaker 5: Do not give it to them for free.
Speaker 1: Instead, treat it like a playing card. So I got
Speaker 1: this fire for you last night. This is fire.
Speaker 5: What do you go from there? I'll love you this one,
Speaker 5: that one, then this one. I'm one this one for
Speaker 5: a bit. As will psychologically force them to take great
Speaker 5: photos of you, so that they have something that traue
Speaker 5: with and not only is as fun, but over time
Speaker 5: the whole frame group will have great photos of them.
Speaker 5: Candidly follow me from more big brain hacks.
Speaker 1: Oh his name is It's Seth hank Issia on Insta.
Speaker 4: The thing is I have just done this recently after
Speaker 4: a situation I experienced. I was at a launch party
Speaker 4: for a suit brand, very cool stuff happening, had a
Speaker 4: film photo taken of me and two other people, and
Speaker 4: the person who took it got it developed and then
Speaker 4: messaged me to say the photo is so fire, I'm
Speaker 4: not showing you yet, like I need to wait for
Speaker 4: the right time to drop it. Held this photo embargo.
Speaker 4: When the photo dropped, it was phenomenal, fantastic photo, just
Speaker 4: captured the essence beautifully. Recently, as a documentarian, I have
Speaker 4: been punishing people, and I've been withholding, withholding the app sets.
Speaker 4: Talking to my best friend. We're at dinner, a lovely dinner,
Speaker 4: and I had, you know, devices out, had the digital camera,
Speaker 4: I had my phone out. We're getting zero point five flash,
Speaker 4: no flash whatever. I took these great photos of her,
Speaker 4: showed of the view finer so she knew and she
Speaker 4: knows she's my muse. I always had a good picky
Speaker 4: of her, and I'm a great photographer. Hounds me the
Speaker 4: whole night for these photos. I said, I'm not sending them.
Speaker 2: Should I? You serious?
Speaker 4: I said, I'm serious. She said why, I said, why not?
Speaker 4: It's my pickI the whole dinner. She said, can I
Speaker 4: have the PHOTO'M like no. The next day she said,
Speaker 4: are you serious? I'm like, I'm serious, babe. You're not
Speaker 4: getting these photos until you step it up. I sweart,
Speaker 4: you did this to me the other day, And how
Speaker 4: does it feel?
Speaker 1: It feels horrible?
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: And yet here I am wanting to take more images.
Speaker 4: And here you are having tooken none. So one might
Speaker 4: argue that my parenting style isn't helping yet. But I
Speaker 4: just feel like people have gotten too comfortable. You know
Speaker 4: how common it is let to have someone to take
Speaker 4: a bad photo of you. It's too common. Not me,
Speaker 4: not me anyway, suffer in silence.
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