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Speaker 1: I made Kylie breakfast in bed, chopped up a fruit

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Speaker 1: salt with fresh everything so good to me, yogurt nuts,

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Speaker 1: so drizzled honey over the top of it, and I

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Speaker 1: was thinking to myself, this is going to be the

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Speaker 1: morning that I talk about in the podcast where I

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Speaker 1: say I just got this so right. It's the Happy

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Speaker 1: Families Podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent who

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Speaker 1: just wants answers. Now. Hello, my name's Doc's Justin Coulson.

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Speaker 1: I'm here with my wife and co host, missus Happy Families,

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Speaker 1: Kylie Coulson. We've got six kids, six daughters, and I'm

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Speaker 1: the author of six books about raising happy families. Today, well,

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Speaker 1: we decided to try a brand new feature, a new

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Speaker 1: segment for the podcast, and I've got to confess it

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Speaker 1: requires a little bit of exposure, a little bit of vulnerability,

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Speaker 1: vulnerability on our part, and it's based on an idea

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Speaker 1: from a book that we have fallen in love with

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Speaker 1: over the years. We were given the book maybe twenty

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Speaker 1: years ago after we had our first child, or twenty

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Speaker 1: one years ago, I guess. And the book is called

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Speaker 1: I'll Do Better Tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: It's a great book, actually given to me when I

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Speaker 2: was in childcare, and it's about a little boy and

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Speaker 2: all of the wonderfully mischievous things that he gets up

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Speaker 2: to through the day. And as the day progresses, he

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Speaker 2: loses his mouth. He fills the bathtub up and forgets

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Speaker 2: to turn the water off, slides the house. His mum's

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Speaker 2: had enough, so she tells him to go and find

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Speaker 2: something quiet to do.

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Speaker 1: So he cuts all his little sister's curls off, shakes

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Speaker 1: the dog. He just had a.

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Speaker 2: Really really bad day, and so as he went to

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Speaker 2: bed that night, his mum came in to tuck him

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Speaker 2: in and put him, you know, kiss him good night.

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Speaker 2: And he's really scared, so he pretends he's asleep, closes

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Speaker 2: his eyes and just slays there as still as he can,

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Speaker 2: and his mum, thinking that he's asleep, she kneels down

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Speaker 2: beside his bed, gives him a little kiss on the cheek,

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Speaker 2: and then starts to say a prayer. And as she

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Speaker 2: opens up the prayer, she starts to cry, and she

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Speaker 2: starts to list one by one all of the misdemeanors

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Speaker 2: that this little kid's done all day, and his heart

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Speaker 2: is just so heavy. He's feeling really really sad for

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Speaker 2: what he's done, and he's just about to jump in

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Speaker 2: and apologize to his mum when he hears her say,

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Speaker 2: you know, God, please forgive me for all of the

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Speaker 2: things that I did wrong today, for the way I

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Speaker 2: interacted with my son and got angry at him, and

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Speaker 2: helped me to be a better person tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: I love that idea, and I can't read it about crying.

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Speaker 1: You can't read it without crying. It just it gets

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Speaker 1: us every time. So we've decided that we're going to

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Speaker 1: let you know that sometimes we need to do better

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Speaker 1: tomorrow as well, because if we do, we're pretty sure

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Speaker 1: you do as well. I had a bit of a

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Speaker 1: day earlier.

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Speaker 2: I actually had this awesome experience.

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Speaker 1: I was all planned to tell you all it was

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Speaker 1: an awesome one. Actually, you know what. The idea of

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Speaker 1: this segment was supposed to be that one of us

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Speaker 1: would tell an experience where we totally got it right,

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Speaker 1: and then the other one tell an experience where we

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Speaker 1: totally got it wrong, just to sort of highlight that

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Speaker 1: we all have our good days in our bad WEA.

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Speaker 1: We had it all planned and then and then we

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Speaker 1: had whatever day it was. What was it like Tuesday

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Speaker 1: or Wednesday or something happened. The lousiest day ever. It

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Speaker 1: was pretty rough. So the short version is that the

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Speaker 1: morning went like this. I woke up early. Now we

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Speaker 1: were exhausted because our year twelve daughter had her form

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Speaker 1: all the night before, which meant that we got home

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Speaker 1: from picking her up extremely late, probably two or three

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Speaker 1: hours after our bedtime. I woke up and left Kylie

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Speaker 1: in bed because I had work to do, and it

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Speaker 1: was five o'clock in the morning. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: disturb her and lay there and do nothing, so I

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Speaker 1: came out of the office and got started on stuff

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Speaker 1: and then went upstairs at seven thirty and I was

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Speaker 1: still asleep. Yeah, Kylie just decided not to get out

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Speaker 1: of it at all, absolutely crashed out. So I made

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Speaker 1: Kylie breakfast in bed, chopped up a fruit salt with

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Speaker 1: fresh everything so good to me, yo good nuts, so

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Speaker 1: drizzled honey over the top of it, and I was

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Speaker 1: thinking to myself, this is going to be the morning

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Speaker 1: that I talk about in the podcast where I say

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Speaker 1: I just got this so right. In fact, I was

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Speaker 1: feeling so confident that I said, to the kids, get

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Speaker 1: yourselves organized, we'll ride to school today. So in the car,

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Speaker 1: it's about three minutes on the bike because there's a

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Speaker 1: couple of hills and it's a bit tricky. It's probably

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Speaker 1: about twenty minutes on my Emily. She's only sick, so

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Speaker 1: she's just a little baby really, and so I don't

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Speaker 1: know what happened, but I gave Kylie breakfast in bed,

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Speaker 1: and Kylie just kind of never came out of the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: never surfaced, which is probably a bit unfair. I expected

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Speaker 1: her to shovel her breakfast in two minutes and then

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Speaker 1: come out and help me get the kids going, and didn't.

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Speaker 1: I needed to have a shower, walk, Yeah, and I'm

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Speaker 1: just out there thinking I'm doing it all on my own.

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Speaker 1: I've made a breakfast in bed, for goodness sakes, what's

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Speaker 1: going on?

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Speaker 2: You kind of lost it at that point, didn't you.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a good morning. And while I don't

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Speaker 1: think that I was necessarily cruel or unkind to anyone,

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Speaker 1: I just I got a bit shouty. I turned into

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Speaker 1: shouty dad. I pretty much forgot to do all the

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Speaker 1: stuff that I talk about in my seminars.

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Speaker 2: Well, in the process of having done all of those

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Speaker 2: amazing things, kind of undid it because left me feeling

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Speaker 2: like feeling guilty, and.

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Speaker 1: Left the kids feeling lousy. I just I mean, I

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Speaker 1: really did a bad job. And then of course you

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Speaker 1: left in a bad mood, taking the kids to school,

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Speaker 1: and I went back to the office so that I

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Speaker 1: could figure out how to help other people make their

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Speaker 1: families happy, thinking, gosh, I'm in a crack.

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Speaker 2: I wish it edited there though, oh you want to

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Speaker 2: talk about the outternot It didn't.

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Speaker 1: So the afternoon in a nutshell, we.

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Speaker 2: Had a trader arrived ten minutes before I was supposed

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Speaker 2: to walk out the door that blew out. Obviously you

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Speaker 2: stayed with him. I left, took the kids to swimming.

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Speaker 2: Swimming went fine, yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then we got this one of the kids forgot

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Speaker 1: her music lesson, and the music lesson is a long

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Speaker 1: way away, and you had to get back to get

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Speaker 1: her there. But there was no way she was going

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Speaker 1: to make it. She should have missed the lesson, and

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Speaker 1: so all of a sudden, I'm driving her to you

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Speaker 1: and swapping cars and things, and I've got to get

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Speaker 1: back to the office because I've.

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Speaker 2: Seen it's not made.

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Speaker 1: There was no dinner, you're right, and I had a

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Speaker 1: webinar to run, and now I've got all these little kids.

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Speaker 1: You're out with the big kids, and.

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Speaker 2: I wasn't going to be home until well after you started,

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Speaker 2: and it was just it.

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Speaker 1: Was horrendous, And then somehow we still pulled it off.

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Speaker 1: I did the webinar, you got home, everyone had an

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Speaker 1: acceptable dinner, and I came up after the webinar and

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Speaker 1: I was actually feeling really good, but we had some visitors,

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Speaker 1: unexpected drop ins, and I just got busy. There was

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Speaker 1: a little bit of dinner left me, not nearly enough,

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Speaker 1: so that put me in a bad mood.

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Speaker 2: Well, see, I've been trying to practice what I've been

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Speaker 2: reading and book club about being where.

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Speaker 1: Your feet so you're being present for them.

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Speaker 2: I was trying to be really present with the guests

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Speaker 2: because they were sitting at the dining table, so instead

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Speaker 2: of being at the kitchen bench cleaning up and doing

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Speaker 2: all the things that I would normally do, I felt

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Speaker 2: really needing to be right there present with them. They

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Speaker 2: needed my attention and time.

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Speaker 1: So I had this tiny little bit of dinner because

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Speaker 1: everyone ate all the rest of it. I just had

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Speaker 1: this tiny bit of dinner and then I'm like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: I might as well clean and pack up, and so

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Speaker 1: I did, and I felt very noble doing it, and

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Speaker 1: I did it willingly. I wasn't in a bad mood

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Speaker 1: until they left and you went to bed and looked

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Speaker 1: at your screen and didn't even say thanks to me,

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Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh, you've got to be kidding.

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Speaker 1: It's and I kind of wasn't at my best again.

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Speaker 1: I just had a bad day, Really didn't I you did?

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Speaker 2: Really has been allowed?

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Speaker 1: So what's the point. Why are we telling you all

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Speaker 1: of this big, sob story about how hard family life

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Speaker 1: is and how we get it wrong. I guess there's

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Speaker 1: probably a couple of take home messages that we really

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Speaker 1: want to share as we focus on this idea of

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Speaker 1: doing better tomorrow. Well, be we your feta.

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Speaker 2: That was the first one, and that would have helped

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Speaker 2: in so many situations.

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Speaker 1: Why are you blaming me? You're saying no, no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: Not at all me. I'd done the right thing with

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Speaker 2: our visitors. But then once they'd left, I kind of

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Speaker 2: felt like I could kind of just relax and I

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Speaker 2: didn't need to be where my feet were with you

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Speaker 2: because we just are. But it would have made such

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Speaker 2: a difference to our relationship had I have just tapped in.

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Speaker 1: With you instead of taking me for granted.

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Speaker 2: Yes, But the other thing is overscheduling the morning. Even

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Speaker 2: though I wasn't involved in the morning, how'd you have

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Speaker 2: not added the complication and pressure of a bike ride

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Speaker 2: and to the equation.

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Speaker 1: Which didn't end up happening. And that's what set me off.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly right, because you had this grand plan. You

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Speaker 2: wanted to experience this opportunity with the kids, which was great.

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Speaker 2: It was a great idea, but it just wasn't execute.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember that story about the washing machine. No,

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Speaker 1: So in the early days of our marriage, I think

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Speaker 1: we had one, maybe two kids, and you were pregnant.

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Speaker 1: You're pregnant with one of the kids, and so I

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Speaker 1: got into the laundry and decided that I would you remember.

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Speaker 1: I decided I was going to be really helpful, and

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Speaker 1: so I sorted the whites from the darks, and then

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Speaker 1: I loaded all the darks into the machine, and I

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Speaker 1: mean I just crammed everything in because there was a

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Speaker 1: lot of washing there. I turned on the machine and

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Speaker 1: did the cycle, and when I pulled the darks out,

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Speaker 1: it was dirtier than it had been when I loaded

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Speaker 1: the machine. Up and put it on, and so I

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Speaker 1: started thumbing through the Harvey Norman catalog so that I

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Speaker 1: could work out, you know, we need a new washing machine.

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Speaker 1: I wonder how much one's going to be. And you asked,

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Speaker 1: why am I doing it? And my response was, have

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Speaker 1: a look at the washing it's filthy. And the problem

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Speaker 1: was not that the washing machine wasn't working.

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Speaker 2: It was that I tried to cram I am about

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Speaker 2: two loads of washing into one load.

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Speaker 1: Tried to cram too much in. And I think in

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Speaker 1: some ways, just reflecting on it, we're kind of at

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Speaker 1: that point with our family again. We're trying to cram

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Speaker 1: too much in and you get a lousy result, you

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Speaker 1: get a substandard result if you try to cram too

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Speaker 1: much in.

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Speaker 2: We know going to bed an appropriate time makes a

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Speaker 2: big difference, and sometimes, obviously with family life, it doesn't

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Speaker 2: always happen. But having a good routine and getting enough

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Speaker 2: hours sleep is a really important start.

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Speaker 1: And if you're going to go to bed laid, make

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Speaker 1: sure that you know what you're doing in the next morning.

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Speaker 1: Be prepped. Be prepped, because one of the golden rules

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Speaker 1: of making morning's magic is that your morning starts the

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Speaker 1: night before so we knew we were going to be

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Speaker 1: up late, but we did nothing to prepare the house

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Speaker 1: or the kids or breakfast, lunch or anything like that

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Speaker 1: the night before for the next day, and it all

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Speaker 1: just went terrible. And then I tried to cramp too

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Speaker 1: much in and we weren't intentional. We were actually not

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Speaker 1: sufficiently intentional. And you know the other thing. I know

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Speaker 1: that everybody has the advantage of being in a team,

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Speaker 1: but you've got to be a team, right, Yeah, So

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Speaker 1: the moral of the story, I'll do better tomorrow. We

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Speaker 1: are going to do so much better tomorrow and next week.

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Speaker 1: So we hope that this disclosure hasn't turned into too

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Speaker 1: much of a blur. Instead, we hope that it's given

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Speaker 1: you some inspiration for how you can do better tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: If your morning's or afternoons or evenings a little bit

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Speaker 1: like some of ours work this week, hopefully we'll have

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Speaker 1: some more positive stories to tell next week. I've already

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Speaker 1: got one. Oh good, Well, well, no, it doesn't care.

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Speaker 1: You can't carry one over this week. No, No, We've

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Speaker 1: got to have a good week next week. Okay, all right.

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Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed the podcast. If you're planning on

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Speaker 1: doing better tomorrow. Remember it's the weekend, so have a

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Speaker 1: super Saturday and a sensational Sunday. Make sure that you

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Speaker 1: spend that time with the kids. If you do enjoy

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Speaker 1: the podcast, if you wouldn't mind visiting Apple Podcasts or

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts and leave a rating, preferably

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Speaker 1: a five star rating and a review. It's those reviews

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Speaker 1: that help people to find the podcast and have happier families.

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Speaker 1: And I've got to also mention if screens are an

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Speaker 1: issue for you, can you please join me on Monday night,

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Speaker 1: We've got a webinar Tweens, Teens and Screens. It's a

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Speaker 1: webinar for parents and their kids about getting screen time right.

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Speaker 1: You can get all the information on my Facebook page

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Speaker 1: or at Happy Families dot com dot IU in the

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Speaker 1: webinar shop that's Tweens, Teens and Screens. Oh and if

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Speaker 1: you're a Happy Family's member, it's included in your membership.

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Speaker 1: You don't even have to pay for it because it's

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Speaker 1: part of the membership. If you'd like to know how

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Speaker 1: you can become a Happy Family's member and make your

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Speaker 1: family flourish, visit Happyfamilies dot com dot AU click on

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Speaker 1: memberships Families getting bigger and happier every Day, or you

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Speaker 1: can go to my Facebook page doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families.

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Speaker 1: Bye Bye