Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So talkback teams is where we bring you some of
Speaker 2: the cooked shit that we hear on talkback radio. Because
Speaker 2: it's it's live, it's dangerous. You get these squirky old
Speaker 2: callers calling through to those places. And do you remember
Speaker 2: back in episode fifteen, so we're going back a while,
Speaker 2: we played you the time that a bunch of people
Speaker 2: banded together to sabotage Graham Gilbert's nightly quiz.
Speaker 3: Oh we're talking India, yep, India.
Speaker 2: Every question he asked, every single question he asked, they
Speaker 2: would answer with India just to piss him off.
Speaker 4: Which Australian gymnast one Commonwealth Games gold in nineteen ninety
Speaker 4: for his performance on the pommel horse India.
Speaker 5: Are you Marcus? Grow up?
Speaker 6: Whatever here?
Speaker 7: Grow up?
Speaker 5: Good on you boys are going to be one of
Speaker 5: those nights, Robert, good evening. Hello Graham, how are you
Speaker 5: not too bad?
Speaker 4: You'll have a sensible answer, aren't you get megaphone?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: And please learn more?
Speaker 8: Please?
Speaker 2: That was in our show opener for a while and
Speaker 2: it was iconic to have you ever heard of more
Speaker 2: defeated man?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 5: Please?
Speaker 3: I know God, you know the think about talk back
Speaker 3: that I don't think we've ever addressed. Like these guys,
Speaker 3: they have to time out to the hour for the
Speaker 3: half hour for the news, so they sometimes have to
Speaker 3: feel minutes of audio of dead air just to make
Speaker 3: it out to the news break. So you just the
Speaker 3: shit you have to come up with. It's a tough job.
Speaker 2: But although it's not that hard to get through to
Speaker 2: Graham show. So that's why somebody prank callers slip through
Speaker 2: the crack. He does, Like we tried it once, room,
Speaker 2: He didn't even vet us. He just put us on
Speaker 2: air straight to it, didn't even ask our name off air.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so he's quite used to.
Speaker 2: Prank calls at this point, and he's got quite a
Speaker 2: short views when it comes to being on the receiving end.
Speaker 2: So he was asking his listeners about salt water in
Speaker 2: the ocean and what makes it so salty, and this
Speaker 2: old bird called through with a dirty joke. I suspect
Speaker 2: it's not actually an old lady. You can tell by
Speaker 2: the voice.
Speaker 3: Oh you think it's a dot Wigan scenario.
Speaker 2: It isry dot Wiggans. You can just tell by the
Speaker 2: voice that it's not a real person.
Speaker 7: It is.
Speaker 5: And the Sultan in the sea Eleanor is.
Speaker 7: It the saltiness of the ocean.
Speaker 5: Yes, my grandson told me he was looking it up
Speaker 5: on the internet. All right, because of all the seamen,
Speaker 5: is that your answer? All the seamen in the ocean
Speaker 5: makes it salty?
Speaker 4: In twelve sixty nine. We will totally ignore that answer, okay,
Speaker 4: because I just wish these people wouldn't phone up and
Speaker 4: put on boggy voices. Alrighty, they think they're going to
Speaker 4: get away with it, but please, do we need to
Speaker 4: say it one more time? We do take all of
Speaker 4: your numbers and is an offense?
Speaker 5: Okay? Is an offense to Communications Act?
Speaker 3: Shut horse. I just don't think that's true.
Speaker 2: You need to look up the Communications Act. It's even
Speaker 2: been to prank call someone because I really don't think
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 3: We do it all the time. I have to do
Speaker 3: radio codes once a year, and no, you could call
Speaker 3: us have no legal binding, right, they can do whatever
Speaker 3: they want.
Speaker 2: It's just so easy and so fun to get through.
Speaker 2: And I just love his overreaction. Yeah, like, oh please,
Speaker 2: we'll just totally ignore that. I have another example, yeah,
Speaker 2: or Graham, right, No, it's not Graham. This is a
Speaker 2: show in Melbourne on three aw and they were on
Speaker 2: the receiving end of a filthy prank call and their reaction.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, they overreacted so much. It's like, oh,
Speaker 2: laugh a little darln Oh they were angry. Oh they
Speaker 2: were furious.
Speaker 3: Okay, So this is a three a W.
Speaker 5: In Melbourne Nightline with Bruce Mansfield and Philip Brady on
Speaker 5: twelve seventy eight, three.
Speaker 6: A W Newport. Toby's at Newport. Hello Toby, Hi, Bruce,
Speaker 6: phil Yes, Toby, how are you cool?
Speaker 1: Good?
Speaker 5: Thanks?
Speaker 2: I have a joke? Yes, what's the funniest smelling thing
Speaker 2: in the whole old.
Speaker 6: World, the funniest smelling thing in the whole wide world?
Speaker 5: Caps you'll know? Oh no, what was? And anoh what
Speaker 5: a pity?
Speaker 6: Toby, Never call us again. Play Never in your life
Speaker 6: even think about it and think, all right, we've dumped
Speaker 6: your Toby.
Speaker 7: But there are people like Carmen and Queenie online and
Speaker 7: could hear that in the.
Speaker 6: Fen And we heard it and Simon heard it, so
Speaker 6: you're ruined it for all of us. Toby. If you've
Speaker 6: ever thinking of tuning in again, just don't get a
Speaker 6: life and Toby, grow.
Speaker 3: Up, Grow up. Carmen and Queene.
Speaker 8: I found an answer to all the communications, so threatening
Speaker 8: to kill or cause serious harm to someone is considered
Speaker 8: a criminal offense.
Speaker 5: Of course.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Jenna, do you think we didn't know
Speaker 3: that even that brand new information, drowning a human will
Speaker 3: send you to prison? Oh good to know, no, or.
Speaker 2: Even threatening to do so.
Speaker 8: And if the pranks doesn't threaten their victim, repeated calls
Speaker 8: can amount to harassment, stalking, or bullying. So that person
Speaker 8: wasn't doing it, no, committing an offense.
Speaker 3: God, that call was hilarious. They were so upset.
Speaker 2: Do you love how as soon as he said an
Speaker 2: Anchov's C word you just heard the hosts in the
Speaker 2: background and be like, yeah, like turning all the buttons off.
Speaker 3: God, that's so funny, good joke. I'd have heard that
Speaker 3: one before. That's fresh good.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I was going to suggest that we get
Speaker 2: dot Wiggins, your eighty year old ninety year old I
Speaker 2: can't remember ho old you, your alter ego, the old
Speaker 2: lady that comes out to play every now and then,
Speaker 2: because we haven't heard from dotting.
Speaker 3: To beer no, I miss her.
Speaker 2: I was going to suggest that we call a station
Speaker 2: and try and get through. But if it's repeated prank call,
Speaker 2: that's like, maybe that is, we'd have to call a
Speaker 2: different show for example. Actually, no, Grand's not even on
Speaker 2: at this time of day, so it's probably fine.
Speaker 3: We could call an FM station.
Speaker 2: Oh that would be way harder if it's an FM
Speaker 2: music station.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: True, but you have to call and basically use a
Speaker 2: dirty word and see if they even notice.
Speaker 3: Oh, like slip, because you know how.
Speaker 2: She said the streaming in the ocean, that was like
Speaker 2: a double what's the word? Yeah, because she was referring
Speaker 2: to men of the sea, men at sea, which is
Speaker 2: the men, but she tied it in with the saltiness,
Speaker 2: so it's actually dirty. So we need like a hidden meaning.
Speaker 3: What if I talk about the fact that my pussy
Speaker 3: won't stop it ching and I think she might have mites?
Speaker 2: That's not even life. Yeah, smaller than lies, like words
Speaker 2: that sound dirty.
Speaker 3: Beaver, bever fever, Oh, beaver's good.
Speaker 2: I don't think we even have beavers in Australia though,
Speaker 2: so that's too obvious.
Speaker 3: No, we don't. Maybe I can just say that I've
Speaker 3: got suddenly I've been I'm fascinated with beavers, and it's
Speaker 3: very late in life because I haven't normally been interested
Speaker 3: in beavers. But I watched something on Telly. What about
Speaker 3: the word rump? No, I want more vogel like it
Speaker 3: needs to be like I could say, whole, like a
Speaker 3: buttthole like Fanny Fanny flange. What's flange?
Speaker 7: Ma?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Flaps? Oh flaps is good.
Speaker 2: Hi, I'm calling them having an issue with my flat.
Speaker 2: But what could you actually be talking about? Obviously not
Speaker 2: your badge when.
Speaker 3: I'd flaps on, I've got a four wheel drive.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, my flaps are just no matter how much
Speaker 2: I clean them, they have it in grime and and
Speaker 2: it stinks.
Speaker 3: Let's go with flaps. Oh my god, I like flaps.
Speaker 2: I've heard otherwise about you. What about like we're using flaps,
Speaker 2: but you're actually talking about flapper jacks like the pancakes.
Speaker 3: You're like when I.
Speaker 2: Come home, my my husband loves to Nora on flaps.
Speaker 2: But I'm just having some trouble. The flaps are too dry.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, flap jacks. Is that too much of a like?
Speaker 3: I also don't think it's flaper jacks. I think you're
Speaker 3: mispronouncing that. I think it's flapjacks. Oh whatever, you upset
Speaker 3: the Canadian. Yeah, flapjacks like you.
Speaker 2: You have this whole narrative that you like to cook
Speaker 2: your husband pancakes when it comes home from work every day.
Speaker 2: But you're having problems with the flap, with the flaps. Yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: I like that that work, and there's nothing more he
Speaker 2: enjoys more after a long hard day at work than
Speaker 2: my flaps, some moist flaps.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and what I just start with them having some
Speaker 3: meritable problems and then because I don't want to lead
Speaker 3: with the flaps, because that'll that'll be a red flag,
Speaker 3: maybe a red flap.
Speaker 2: Maybe when you speak to producer or whatever, you say
Speaker 2: you've got a cooking question. Yeah, on who's even on it?
Speaker 3: I'm looking now, who's on air?
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so same station as Graham and John Law's
Speaker 2: Brent Bultitude.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: Think he'd be hard to get through too.
Speaker 3: It's the number.
Speaker 2: Let's try thirteen twelve sixty nine famously.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, of course, all right, let's call shit, don't
Speaker 3: get me yes, separ radio and work.
Speaker 6: Who's cooling me me?
Speaker 1: Sorry you're talking to me?
Speaker 2: I can't that mean?
Speaker 3: No? No, certainly not dot D dot Brent a be.
Speaker 1: I've been with my husband four years and they're having
Speaker 1: meritable issues and I just wanted to see to stick
Speaker 1: it through.
Speaker 3: Or is it too late in life to throw away?
Speaker 7: It won't be long? Hold on, make the payments. You've
Speaker 7: got serious problems, absolutely serious problems ahead of you. Brian's
Speaker 7: next time, Brian, there we go? How are you? Brian?
Speaker 8: How's the left eye?
Speaker 7: The left eyes? Find it's the right eye that had
Speaker 7: caused me all the problems.
Speaker 3: N what's this guy's name, Brent? The hostess brand? You
Speaker 3: just confidently call him Kent.
Speaker 5: And I quite or he does quite?
Speaker 1: Frank?
Speaker 5: Hurry up?
Speaker 3: What's what's the caller?
Speaker 2: His name again?
Speaker 3: Brian or something? Brian?
Speaker 2: Phil?
Speaker 3: Come on, Brian, boring story work.
Speaker 7: Out here on the campaign.
Speaker 1: I have loved your head and make you knew how
Speaker 1: you go?
Speaker 7: You can't let anybody know that, Kenny, he's gotta You've
Speaker 7: got to carry on good talk, Brian, Thank you for
Speaker 7: you God?
Speaker 3: Oh oh yes, sorry, Trance, you have conjunctivetis do you?
Speaker 7: No? No?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 7: I wish I did because I could get over that.
Speaker 5: What you gonna? What do you have in your eye?
Speaker 7: I had a detached in my right eye.
Speaker 1: This is awful. Milk will fix this side milk will
Speaker 1: fix it. Skim milk, skim milk, and you put it
Speaker 1: in nod you put it, you.
Speaker 7: Put it in the milk detachment put it. How can
Speaker 7: I help you don't? What would you like to say?
Speaker 1: Or the cap of the milk and you put your
Speaker 1: eye and you roll your right back anyway. I look,
Speaker 1: I'm not having a meritable problem. But I've been with
Speaker 1: my daughter's husband, Brian for forty forty forty five years,
Speaker 1: and I'll cook him dinner every night. He seems to
Speaker 1: enjoy it in it, and he seems to enjoy tea.
Speaker 1: And make him sweets, are making food, are making savory food,
Speaker 1: and he mostly seems to enjoy my my flaps. The
Speaker 1: only problem is he tends to be used to moist flaps. However,
Speaker 1: he now sadly has experienced that my flaps are dry,
Speaker 1: so he's not happy.
Speaker 2: Cheering.
Speaker 7: Let's take a break.
Speaker 1: If it's easy, We're go on.
Speaker 3: I think they hung up when you don't hang up
Speaker 3: on me. Let's take a break. Oh my god, Oh
Speaker 3: he didn't want to borro it.
Speaker 2: No, I think you weren't subtle enough.
Speaker 3: I really didn't weave it innan.
Speaker 2: To be I cook him a beautiful stack of flaps,
Speaker 2: like you know it could be something else for you
Speaker 2: just went riding and when he got the black my drive.
Speaker 3: Flaps, I got distracted by the eye.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 3: I felt bad because the poor bus it has a
Speaker 3: detached retina. And then here I am being a bastard
Speaker 3: to him, and then I called him Trent.
Speaker 5: Isn't just me?
Speaker 2: You should follow these idiots online. Search a couple of
Speaker 2: meters