Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: It has Flex and Frooms on cat. It's about time
Speaker 2: we talked about some dating content. I did make a
Speaker 2: vow that anytime we'd discuss it, though, it would need
Speaker 2: to be from a fresh, new angle, especially because by
Speaker 2: the time this reaches you, people have plagiarized us already.
Speaker 2: I'm talking in the mere minutes, it's gone from our
Speaker 2: mouth to this microphone and uploaded into the airwaves. Some
Speaker 2: other podcasts like this is good information and they've plagiarized it.
Speaker 2: So in coming to you with information that only we could.
Speaker 2: We've got tiktoks, We've got treachery. We've also got a podcast.
Speaker 2: What what do you say? Wait for it, wait for it?
Speaker 2: What do you think is the ultimate indicator of a
Speaker 2: successful relationship. I'm talking at the early stages when you
Speaker 2: just like first touched fingers with someone, when you first
Speaker 2: even looked at them. What is the ultimate indicator? Is
Speaker 2: it the level of attraction you share? Is it your
Speaker 2: financial status? Is it? Is it the clothes you're wearing?
Speaker 2: Is it the pheromones? According to research research, it is inconclusive,
Speaker 2: inconclusive at this point, it's just vibes. Listen to this
Speaker 2: TikTok by Ben Spalos. He'll do a much better job
Speaker 2: at explaining the nonsense that is happening when it comes
Speaker 2: to picking a partner and picking a mate. And I'm
Speaker 2: sure he'll make you feel ashamed for how much effort,
Speaker 2: how much specificity and strategy you put into it up
Speaker 2: until this point, because it was all for no reason,
Speaker 2: for nothing, for nothing.
Speaker 3: And is this guy like a scientist?
Speaker 4: I thought it was.
Speaker 5: About this recently, so but no one saw this. Let
Speaker 5: me just say this again so you can understand this.
Speaker 5: I read a study recently called is Romantic desire Predictable?
Speaker 5: And they found no, bro stick around?
Speaker 4: What the fuck? After a hundred different fucking measures about
Speaker 4: relevant traits and characteristics that are important for dating, they
Speaker 4: found if they use machine learning to try and create
Speaker 4: models to try and predict if people would like each
Speaker 4: other when they met, they could predict how relative like.
Speaker 4: They could predict people's tastes.
Speaker 5: Kind of, they could predict how relatively attractive people are
Speaker 5: generally to other people, but the effect was really small.
Speaker 4: But dude, when two people came together, they couldn't predict anything.
Speaker 4: It was completely in the dark. You know how they
Speaker 4: started this article and the introduction they.
Speaker 5: Talked about how speed dating apps make these claims that
Speaker 5: they can do this, but that these claims aren't scientifically vetted.
Speaker 5: The article is called is Romantic Desire Predictable? The primary
Speaker 5: author Samantha Jowel. You can literally read this if you
Speaker 5: look this up on the internet, please do recently, but
Speaker 5: no one saw this.
Speaker 1: Let me just jacko origin story.
Speaker 2: So what we're hearing now, what we're going to discuss
Speaker 2: now podcast is a lot of people, ourselves included, have
Speaker 2: convinced ourselves that dating and finding a partner is a
Speaker 2: series of strategic moves, right especially in that early stage
Speaker 2: before you you even met someone. The way you're presenting yourself,
Speaker 2: the social circles you hang out with, the energy that
Speaker 2: permeates the room, all of this feels so intentional. So
Speaker 2: it's to tract the right partner to have the right relationship.
Speaker 2: But what we're finding is that, yes, you can dress
Speaker 2: yourself in a certain way that will make yourself look
Speaker 2: more appealing, you can go to certain places, you can
Speaker 2: interact with certain kinds of people, But whether or not
Speaker 2: there will be romantic compatibility is totally up to chance.
Speaker 1: Whoa chance vibes.
Speaker 2: Is this University of Pennsylvania rooms is like, unfortunately, I'm
Speaker 2: going to debunk the science.
Speaker 1: And even there's more to discuss.
Speaker 2: Let's debate this because something about the way that relationships
Speaker 2: are the fifty percent at minimum divorce rate speak, the
Speaker 2: amount of dating just conjecture and squabble and discussion there
Speaker 2: is it's not really getting people to this end goal
Speaker 2: they think it is. Even if this study isn't real,
Speaker 2: we're just hypothesizing that of all the things you can
Speaker 2: change about yourself to make yourself more romantically appealing, none
Speaker 2: of that really holds weight on the compatibility that you'll
Speaker 2: have with a person. There's like a random element.
Speaker 1: How does that make you feel excited? Oh? Good?
Speaker 3: I think because I like the feeling of meeting someone
Speaker 3: and they smell nice and it's not what you expected,
Speaker 3: you know, and I couldn't have perceived that going. And
Speaker 3: then also, do you ever have a dream that you
Speaker 3: could just and you just and you can.
Speaker 1: And you can do anything? I mean, yeah, I get
Speaker 1: it for me.
Speaker 3: I reckon like something that can't they can't predict on
Speaker 3: the apps is like, for example, your upbringing, and I
Speaker 3: if I'm thinking back at all of it.
Speaker 2: Broies, I mean, I mean, why did you say it
Speaker 2: like that? Some of them just can't predict.
Speaker 3: I mean no, I like, I mean more family dynamics,
Speaker 3: like if you if your family has the same sense
Speaker 3: of humor as like someone else's family, or the same
Speaker 3: way of expressing yourselves. Like if someone really gets along
Speaker 3: with their siblings and they're all like kumbaya, it's kind
Speaker 3: of probably not gonna work for me.
Speaker 1: Oh, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: If you guys are a little bit too tight, I'm
Speaker 3: getting freaked out.
Speaker 1: This is interesting, do you know what I'm saying? Like,
Speaker 1: I like people who you like an estranged king, so
Speaker 1: you can have more to yourself. I get it.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna be honest. We need to be having
Speaker 3: Christmas and my family home. This is to me what
Speaker 3: happens when when this happens and it's Christmas time, I'm
Speaker 3: not hanging out with your family. In my experience, you
Speaker 3: always go to the if you're in a heterosexual relationship.
Speaker 3: In my experience, it always seems to be going to
Speaker 3: the man's side. I cannot repeat that history. And thankfully,
Speaker 3: I really like my family. So we're we going to
Speaker 3: come into my family?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Anyway, Yeah, I say this sort of say the way
Speaker 3: someone smells can't predict on the apps, and that's.
Speaker 1: That's getting in the way of everything. I'm serious.
Speaker 3: You could be the hottest person ever, but if I
Speaker 3: don't like the way you smell, I can't.
Speaker 6: I couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: This is very interesting.
Speaker 2: What I will say is that I think there is
Speaker 2: merit in us viewing ourselves as Neanderthals no better than Neanderthals.
Speaker 1: And what I mean by that.
Speaker 3: Wait, you know, Neanderthals are different to human beings.
Speaker 1: I think my point remains.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna say animals like, okay, we're no different
Speaker 2: to lions, monkeys, whales in the sense that from how
Speaker 2: we perceive them to live, things are quite simplified. And
Speaker 2: like the way that we've optimized social dynamics is getting
Speaker 2: in the way of us being social in the sense
Speaker 2: of I think that most people are quite charming in
Speaker 2: real life.
Speaker 1: You get into a conversation.
Speaker 2: With most people at the butcher, at the park, in
Speaker 2: the airport, it's fine, if anything is quite enjoyable.
Speaker 3: Great, I just had a great go and getting us
Speaker 3: some drinks great with the chat guy from finance.
Speaker 2: I'm not surprised, seriously, you know, it's just there's something
Speaker 2: about you put two people together, you get them talking,
Speaker 2: and then suddenly you're able to see past whatever projection
Speaker 2: you put onto them, and you get the quirks and
Speaker 2: the charisma and the charm and the interest and the
Speaker 2: strength and the weaknesses, and suddenly they're appealing. But online
Speaker 2: or when you're thinking about dating conceptually, we're not leaving
Speaker 2: room for that immeasurable vibe, that thing that you just
Speaker 2: don't anticipate for that need to be there for this
Speaker 2: to work. For example, you put all your your good
Speaker 2: on paper qualities and I can bring you ten people
Speaker 2: who fit that criteria and you'll probably only vibe properly
Speaker 2: romantically with.
Speaker 1: Three of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and of those three, you might sustain a relationship
Speaker 2: that lasts for six weeks, and you'll wonder, is it me?
Speaker 1: Is it them?
Speaker 2: Do why need to change? Do they need to change?
Speaker 2: It's like, this is just the nature of creating a
Speaker 2: relationship with someone that is like shrouded in social norms
Speaker 2: that unfortunately feel more important than the vibe at play.
Speaker 6: Unfortunately, they do and so while we're here being like
Speaker 6: a lean undate someone who has this job and is
Speaker 6: this tall and is this whatever, part of me thinks
Speaker 6: you should be sticking tighter to that because vibes at
Speaker 6: this point are not enough.
Speaker 2: For a lot of people. Love is not enough for
Speaker 2: a lot of people. You're fully in love with someone
Speaker 2: and you're thinking what else could there be? Sometimes that's
Speaker 2: like on your own, like you need.
Speaker 1: Help, whatever it might be.
Speaker 2: It's like, I'm almost of the belief that if it's
Speaker 2: all random, then people should be sticking a lot closer
Speaker 2: to not their arbitrary like superficial, like I want them
Speaker 2: to open the door the stuff that really matters. Like,
Speaker 2: you know, if you're truly embarrassed because the person you're
Speaker 2: dating is wearing sperries and not vans, then stick a bit,
Speaker 2: a little bit closer to that, because putting someone through
Speaker 2: emotional turmoil because you don't like the.
Speaker 1: Way they dress doesn't feel worth it.
Speaker 3: And it's very mean. It's very mean, and you know what,
Speaker 3: you might you might regret it.
Speaker 2: That's another thing I'm struggling with personally these dice. Yeah,
Speaker 2: what is like honesty is the best policy type vibe?
Speaker 2: How do you give someone information or feedback that is
Speaker 2: just your personal preference. Like, for example, if you came
Speaker 2: into the office today and you smelled, Oh, I don't
Speaker 2: know how I would tell you. I mean, that's a
Speaker 2: bit different. I think i'd be like babes. Actually, I
Speaker 2: don't know the context. I'm trying to think of it.
Speaker 2: But because you're a friend, I think i'd be like, oh,
Speaker 2: she'll get it, like she'll know this is coming from
Speaker 2: a good place. But then, like I think strangers and
Speaker 2: romantically and professionally, I'm like, I'm not built for these interactions.
Speaker 2: The stakes are too high. Everything is too personal. No
Speaker 2: one comes out on scathed. It's scary, wish, especially when
Speaker 2: it's just a preference. Like you don't like the way
Speaker 2: someone speaks to you, but that's the way they speak. Now,
Speaker 2: what are you gonna do about it?
Speaker 1: That's a good one.
Speaker 3: I want to talk about that in a few weeks,
Speaker 3: about like we're going to forget in that time. I
Speaker 3: don't know what remember how your boss speaks to you,
Speaker 3: Like what is a quote unquote illegal in the workplace verse?
Speaker 3: Like them just their style.
Speaker 1: You know, it's all too much.
Speaker 2: Hey, miss you guys, So deeply so dearly dm us
Speaker 2: on flex and Rooms. Let's get connecting, let's touch base.
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