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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order

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Speaker 1: Order Kerney Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before we

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Speaker 1: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would

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Speaker 1: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of

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Speaker 1: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging

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Speaker 1: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through

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Speaker 1: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money the podcast

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Speaker 2: some millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 2: one of our money jaries where I get the absolute

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Speaker 2: pleasure of sitting down with one of our She's on

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Speaker 2: the Money community members and talking to them all about

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Speaker 2: their money story. Let's jump straight into it, because this

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Speaker 2: week I got a message and it sounded like this, Hi,

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money. I'm a thirty five year old

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Speaker 2: mom of two with a story that serves as a

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Speaker 2: cautionary tale for all women. Three months ago, after relocating

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Speaker 2: to a news date with my husband. He blindsided me

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Speaker 2: with the news that he was leaving. I absolutely had

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Speaker 2: no idea it was coming. He's the tough part. We

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Speaker 2: had joint money. He earns three times what I do,

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Speaker 2: and I have spent the last nine years out of

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Speaker 2: full time work raising our kids. Now I'm having to

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Speaker 2: pick myself up and reassess everything to start fresh and

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Speaker 2: give my kids the life they deserve. Money, Diarist, that

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Speaker 2: just feels like trash.

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Speaker 4: That's one word for it, that's for sure.

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Speaker 2: It's a bit more of a complimentary word I feel.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I've had some other words for sure that

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Speaker 4: have had less letters that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well let's start the way I always start, money, Darist.

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Speaker 2: I'd love to know what grade would you give your

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Speaker 2: money habits from A through to F.

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Speaker 4: I am like a D, maybe even a D minus.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you're not. But also we'll chat about it. Okay,

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Speaker 2: all right, I need to know my favorite question. Can

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Speaker 2: you tell me more about your money story. Let's go back.

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Speaker 4: So I was raised in a regional town. I had

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Speaker 4: two working parents. We would just what I would say

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Speaker 4: was just like standard Australian middle class. You know, like

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Speaker 4: nothing was extravagant. My parents worked in their jobs for

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Speaker 4: like thirty years to put a roof over our heads,

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Speaker 4: and you know, we had a holiday every couple of

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Speaker 4: years and that was it. That was it was good life.

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Speaker 4: You know. My parents didn't really talk much about money, though.

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Speaker 4: I often say, like, we can probably get into this

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Speaker 4: a little bit later, and we talk about some of

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Speaker 4: the other things I'm working on. But I always say

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Speaker 4: my dad is very traditional country. He you know, don't

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Speaker 4: talk about sex, drugs, politics, absolutely.

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Speaker 2: Not exactly horible. I'm from Tasmania, I get it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's very taboo. Yeah, that's disgusting. You will never talk

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Speaker 2: about that, let alone at the dinner table.

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Speaker 4: Exactly. So I went to UNI, came out of UNI,

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Speaker 4: and not long after, when I was twenty two, just

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Speaker 4: graduated UNI, I met a cute boy.

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Speaker 2: We love this, No we don't.

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Speaker 4: We doesn't end well.

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Speaker 2: I like com eating cuteboy.

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Speaker 4: And anyway, we got together. He was eight years older

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Speaker 4: than me. I was only twenty two and he was thirty.

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Speaker 2: I think that's going downhill real quick.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's only in hindsight, you know,

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Speaker 4: hindsight is twenty twenty that I can see that. I'm like, oh, well,

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Speaker 4: I was a thirty year old dating a twenty two

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Speaker 4: year old. Oh we know, we know well well because

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Speaker 4: I was young and easily manipulated exactly, and so from

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Speaker 4: that point on, he was already much further along in

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Speaker 4: his career. He always earned like triple what I. I

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Speaker 4: came out of Union on a very low paying job,

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Speaker 4: and we essentially ended up joining living together pretty quickly

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Speaker 4: after we got together, and then I got married very young.

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Speaker 4: I had my first child when I was twenty seven,

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Speaker 4: which is definitely younger than I would have planned that,

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Speaker 4: but again he was eight years older than me, so

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Speaker 4: he was ready for that, and I thought we'd committed

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Speaker 4: to this life together, yeah, one hundred percent. And so

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Speaker 4: had my first child. Or supposed to go back to

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Speaker 4: my job that I really loved, but do it in

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Speaker 4: like a part time capacity, And when my daughter was

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Speaker 4: about six months old, I got an email saying, like,

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Speaker 4: your job still exists, but it's the job that you

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Speaker 4: had before, and it was full time in the city,

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Speaker 4: lots of travel. I didn't have family around where I

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Speaker 4: was at the time, and so I had to make

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Speaker 4: the decision to not go back to that job. I

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Speaker 4: mean this was only like nine years ago, but part

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Speaker 4: time work just was not as much of a thing

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Speaker 4: as it was then. And definitely flexible work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like flexible work has really served recently

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Speaker 2: where people are realizing I think after COVID with all

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Speaker 2: of the work from home and like the work flexibly arrangements,

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Speaker 2: like it's definitely searched. But yeah, nine years ago, getting

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Speaker 2: a part time role was kind of like the golden goose.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, and especially in the kind of industry. And then

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Speaker 4: so I turned in and did some freelance work, which

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Speaker 4: I mean, look at how its pros and cons. I

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Speaker 4: think if anytime you want to start a business or

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Speaker 4: start being a sole trader, you want to do it

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Speaker 4: because you've decided I'm ready for this, and I'm prep

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Speaker 4: for this. And whereas I had to kind of do

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Speaker 4: it as a necessity, so I didn't know how much

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Speaker 4: to charge. I didn't know, you know, like a lot

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Speaker 4: of my old workplaces became my client, so that kind

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Speaker 4: of made it a bit easier. And I continued on

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Speaker 4: doing that all the way through for another three years

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Speaker 4: till I had my son, and then when he was younger,

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Speaker 4: I went back to work, but I basically just worked

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Speaker 4: part time in jobs that I would say below my capabilities.

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Speaker 2: That's the journey, right like, And I'm not saying it's

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Speaker 2: okay that it's like the small steps that you make

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Speaker 2: for your family that are sacrifices that you go, that's okay,

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Speaker 2: we'll sort that out. That's okay, we'll sort that out.

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Speaker 2: And then you fast forward and realize that all of

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Speaker 2: those time, any little steps that you thought you were

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Speaker 2: making that were in the best interest at the time

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Speaker 2: were actually not in your best interests exactly.

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Speaker 4: Because I was thinking of us and I wasn't thinking

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Speaker 4: of me. And now, like I said, it is a

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Speaker 4: cautionary tale, it's bitten me in the bum. I had

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Speaker 4: no separate money from him. I always felt sort of

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Speaker 4: at the mercy of that he we're both terrible with money,

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Speaker 4: and I am open to admitting that, but he kind

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Speaker 4: of isn't. And we got a financial advisor a few

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Speaker 4: years ago, and I was very open about that, you know,

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Speaker 4: we're terrible with money. Help us, you know, And one

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Speaker 4: of the suggestions he had was, look, I can basically

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Speaker 4: take control of your money and give you guys essentially

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Speaker 4: like an allowance each week, and I'm like, great, yep,

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Speaker 4: that's the level of oversight we need. My husband didn't

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Speaker 4: like that. I think it's a bit of an ego

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Speaker 4: thing maybe for a man, a control thing for sure,

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Speaker 4: because you know, he would get a new hobby every

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Speaker 4: couple of months and just go and spend Like why

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Speaker 4: and I are people this well because they haven't been

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Speaker 4: to therapy and dealt with the root cause of what's

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Speaker 4: going on.

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Speaker 2: Oh ah yeah, yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

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Speaker 4: Now, yeah, yeah, because why do that when you can

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Speaker 4: just fill the void with buying new things? Oh you know?

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Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, like why I spend money on therapy?

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Speaker 4: That ah?

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Speaker 2: So smart, so smart, so smart. So what happened after that?

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Speaker 4: So we moved recently, we did a big move into

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Speaker 4: state move.

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Speaker 2: The audad sorry, like I don't know enough about this situation,

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Speaker 2: but the audacity on that man to let you move

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Speaker 2: states and then go by the way not feeling this. Oh,

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Speaker 2: also to.

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Speaker 4: Move away from family that was in my other city.

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Speaker 2: Moving from home to somewhere else, you're probably thinking new life. Great,

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Speaker 2: We've got these great opportunities as a family. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So oh mate, Like the week before he sat down

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Speaker 4: and told me this on a random Thursday night. I

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Speaker 4: was literally drinking a cup of tea on the couch

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Speaker 4: and he sat down and said, I can't do this anymore.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, what so you can't do what me during because

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Speaker 2: that's currently where we're at.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, like that is our life stage to deal with it.

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Speaker 4: And the week before that we had met with our

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Speaker 4: financial advisor to talk about buying a property here. No,

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Speaker 4: you know, And now he wants to turn around and say,

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Speaker 4: you should have known you can't act.

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Speaker 2: What do you mean I should have known you're literally

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Speaker 2: talking with a financial advisor about another commitment together.

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Speaker 4: And this is the thing, right And I know it's

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Speaker 4: so cliche for a woman to say in twenty twenty four,

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Speaker 4: but he's a legitimate narcissist, Like I have learned this.

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Speaker 2: Now And I'm like, yeah, but you don't know at

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Speaker 2: the time.

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Speaker 4: No, And you don't want to see that at the time.

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Speaker 4: And I get it. Like people have said, to me,

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Speaker 4: was he like this the whole time? And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I guess in a way, he was, But I just

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Speaker 4: I wanted to excuse it because this is the man

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Speaker 4: who was the father of my children. I wanted to

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Speaker 4: make it work. I wanted to have that family. So anyway,

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Speaker 4: so we moved to where we are now at the

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Speaker 4: start of the year, and about three months after, yeah,

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Speaker 4: he told me he was out. I was still on

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Speaker 4: probation at a new job.

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Speaker 2: And that just like that mental load, that like not

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Speaker 2: even taking into consideration the fact that you didn't see

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Speaker 2: a divorce coming, like just oh, that would have flipped

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Speaker 2: the narrative. So what happened?

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Speaker 4: I mean I just had to turn around and deal

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Speaker 4: with it, like I was literally living.

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Speaker 2: Did he give a reason? Obviously, he was like you

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Speaker 2: should have seen this coming.

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Speaker 4: No, really, just this isn't working exactly, there's not really

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Speaker 4: a reason.

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Speaker 2: Looks from your perspective, was it working?

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Speaker 4: I mean, it wasn't the best, But I also just

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Speaker 4: thought that was the season of life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like we have young kids, Like stuff's just stuffing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And like I've just watched so many you know,

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Speaker 4: my mom and dad and aunts and uncles and things

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Speaker 4: like that. I've seen marriages have ebbs and flows, and

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Speaker 4: like there was nothing so so terrible in it that

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Speaker 4: I would have ever considered walking away, you know, like

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Speaker 4: it just wasn't like and so I genuinely believe he's

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Speaker 4: having a midlife crisis and he had to run away

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Speaker 4: from something.

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're not twenty two anymore, and I was twenty

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Speaker 2: two that kind of midlife crisis, Yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 2: And just I've lost control.

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Speaker 4: Like so, we had also bought a property in the

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Speaker 4: other city that we were in and when we were

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Speaker 4: selling that for a loss just because the timing was bad,

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Speaker 4: and again, like we're just not super financially true, which

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Speaker 4: is why I've become obsessed with you guys.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the community. We are actually so stoked to

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Speaker 2: have you here.

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Speaker 4: It's been amazing. Yeah, And so I think it's no

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Speaker 4: surprise that the week we found out we were going

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Speaker 4: to make a loss on that sale is the week

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Speaker 4: he decided he was out. You know. I think there's

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Speaker 4: a whole bunch.

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Speaker 2: Of how do we tell him that that's not what's

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Speaker 2: going to solve the problem. But that's okay, you do

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Speaker 2: you too?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I was still on probation. My job. I'm

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Speaker 4: just living through this like trauma and shock and trying

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Speaker 4: to be the best mom I can to my kids.

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Speaker 4: And they're living through it and I'm having to comfort

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Speaker 4: them through it, and I mean, it's literally been the

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Speaker 4: worst few months of my life. But it definitely builds resilience,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 2: We are oh my god, yeah, like I mean, yes,

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Speaker 2: it does. But it wasn't consensual resilience Like I didn't.

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Speaker 2: I didn't go wake up and say I want to

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Speaker 2: be more resilient, like you were forced into it. So

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Speaker 2: tell me. You get told that your husband isn't in

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Speaker 2: anymore on a random Thursday night while you're drinking a

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Speaker 2: cup of tea. What happens then?

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Speaker 4: So then he tells me I was obviously shocked, heartbroken,

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Speaker 4: begging him to stay, and he said, you know, it's

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Speaker 4: not a nail in the coffin. There's things that we

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Speaker 4: can work on, but I just need to get out.

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Speaker 4: I was like, okay, you know. So it means that

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Speaker 4: within a week he had moved out of our family home.

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Speaker 2: He within it.

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Speaker 4: This week, he found a furnished rental that he moved to,

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Speaker 4: and then my kids had to start adapting to coming

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Speaker 4: and going from his place. Yeah. So I tried to

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Speaker 4: talk to him about it. He didn't want to talk.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, okay, I'll give him time. And

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Speaker 4: in that eight weeks I went I was like right,

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Speaker 4: I can work on myself in this time. So I went,

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Speaker 4: I got.

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Speaker 2: You're a quaint, You're an iconon You're who. I hope

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Speaker 2: that everyone going through a situation like this use is

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Speaker 2: like I'm going to work on myself. Like what iconic behavior?

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Speaker 4: Well, it's just when you have no choice, right.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent. But so many people also bury their

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Speaker 2: heads and go we'll talk about it at some point,

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Speaker 2: like true. Just don't get me wrong, Like I feel

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Speaker 2: like you and I know that you didn't have a choice,

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Speaker 2: like this is what's happening, But you also have a

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Speaker 2: choice on your mindset. You also have a choice on

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Speaker 2: how you work on yourself, and those choices are going

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Speaker 2: to serve you very well, exactly.

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Speaker 4: So I got myself on anti anxiety medication because I

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Speaker 4: was like, okay, maybe that's impact in the relationship. I

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Speaker 4: started doing cognitive behavioral therapy because I, like many other

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Speaker 4: thirty five year old women and a late diagnose ADHDR

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Speaker 4: welcome to the club, which, by the way, when I

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Speaker 4: heard you refer to that as neurospicy, I laughed out loud.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was the best thing I've ever heard.

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Speaker 4: I was like, yes, let's just normally.

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Speaker 2: Framing it like we are all a little bit neurospicy,

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Speaker 2: and it's.

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Speaker 4: Just it's no different to like me have a double

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Speaker 4: jointed thumb like whatever.

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Speaker 2: Which we do because we are You're very divergent, and

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Speaker 2: those two things go together.

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Speaker 4: I actually also did a six week hypnotherapy Who are you?

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Speaker 2: You are a self help queen?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Well, I just thought, let's get to the subconscious

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Speaker 4: level of like my lack of self worth and my

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Speaker 4: insecurities and stuff, and let's go real deep on that.

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Speaker 4: My view on it was, at least I know I

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Speaker 4: have done everything I can to save this relationship. If

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Speaker 4: he still doesn't want it, well, then none of this

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Speaker 4: stuff is.

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Speaker 2: That's actually not my problem.

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Speaker 4: Exactly, And I've then put myself in the best possible position.

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Speaker 4: So after about eight weeks, I asked him to come

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Speaker 4: and talk and he was like, yeah, no, I'm out.

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Speaker 4: So that's that. Deal with it and have fun.

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Speaker 2: Was the CBT. What helped you discover that your husband

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Speaker 2: was actually an assist?

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Speaker 4: Well that, let's be honest.

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Speaker 2: Instagram Yeah, yeah, yeah, one hundred percent, Like that's a

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Speaker 2: form of therapy.

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Speaker 4: My algorithm these days is I was just like, how

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Speaker 4: to spot a narcissist, and like, how.

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Speaker 2: To Sometimes I feel like, yeah, algorithm, really, algorithm's too hard,

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Speaker 2: and you're like, yeah, have you been listening, Like no,

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Speaker 2: how did you know?

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Speaker 4: I know? I know? So yeah, So that's kind of

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Speaker 4: where we are now. I decided to take a bit

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Speaker 4: of control of it. I got a lawyer, which not

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Speaker 4: cheap obviously, and got myself with as much info as

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Speaker 4: I could. I actually spoke to a really amazing lawyer

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Speaker 4: and she was like, look, there's all these different ways

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Speaker 4: to do this. The best way to do it, if

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Speaker 4: you guys are amicable enough, is to do it through mediation,

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Speaker 4: so you're not having lawyers represent you, so you're not

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Speaker 4: like waste that money.

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Speaker 2: And I was so nice of you to say that, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: thank you. Also an iconic queen.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and she was just like, I'm the one who

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Speaker 4: does these invoices of these clients, and I invoice them

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Speaker 4: for like thirty grand and I just think to myself,

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Speaker 4: that's money that could have gone towards the depozard or

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Speaker 4: the kids. And I'm like, you know, so we did that.

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Speaker 4: A couple of weeks ago. We did the mediation, which

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Speaker 4: is like a one day thing to deal with property

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Speaker 4: and family also. So in the meantime, had quite a

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Speaker 4: few meetings with my financial advisor. He has been amazing

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Speaker 4: helping me with negotiations and stuff, and so I came

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Speaker 4: out of that pretty well. I went in probably over prepared,

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Speaker 4: but I think that's a better way to be, and

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Speaker 4: he went in completely underprepared.

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Speaker 2: So that's very media commit aged white man behavior exactly.

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Speaker 4: So why should I prepare for this? You know the

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Speaker 4: world will work for me.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Well that's interesting. I feel like you are killing

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Speaker 2: it and it reminds me of that quote sometimes something

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Speaker 2: you lose is not a loss, and like that is

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Speaker 2: so true, Like you feel like you're losing something, but

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Speaker 2: you're not. It's not a loss. And that just right

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Speaker 2: now is like what you're going through. I think in

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Speaker 2: a couple of years you'll be like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: I'm so glad he did that.

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Speaker 4: I know, and I do feel like I'm starting to

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Speaker 4: see that now. I feel like I do feel like

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Speaker 4: in the end, I will look back and be glad

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Speaker 4: this happened, because you know, I am thirty five years old,

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Speaker 4: I've got my whole life ahead of me. I've just

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Speaker 4: put the gas pedal back down my career. My kids

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Speaker 4: are both in school, so like, let's.

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Speaker 2: Go cheers to him for not doing it while you

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Speaker 2: had two tiny, tiny children who weren't in school. Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's I mean, they'rey considerate of him.

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Speaker 4: I'm not a great man.

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Speaker 2: Oh one out of ten cannot recommend. These are the

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Speaker 2: moments where you realize that, like, being straight is actually

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Speaker 2: not a choice.

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Speaker 4: No, no, I look, I am open to any and

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Speaker 4: all possibilities. Now I will.

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Speaker 2: So I want to know, let's get into some nitty

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Speaker 2: gritty questions. So I'm sure it will come back up.

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Speaker 2: But now that you are getting back into your career,

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Speaker 2: what do you do for it? How much money do

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Speaker 2: you earn?

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Speaker 4: So I'm a communications manager. I am on one hundred

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Speaker 4: and three per year plus super.

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Speaker 2: Oh how good is that? I mean at the moment,

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Speaker 2: you're probably like, oh, everything's so expensive, But like that

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Speaker 2: is a great career trajectory. Yeah, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: there's a lot of room for growth, which is awesome.

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Speaker 2: Where like, and this is probably not a question that's

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Speaker 2: get kind questioned to us, but that where do you

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Speaker 2: think you would have been had you not, you know,

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Speaker 2: put the brakes on your career? Back when you were

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Speaker 2: making sacrifices so that he could earn three times more

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Speaker 2: than you.

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Speaker 4: Well, I know exactly where I would be because this

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Speaker 4: is part of the research I did with going into

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Speaker 4: my mediation. So my best friend and I graduated from

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Speaker 4: the same degree at the same time. She's just recently

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Speaker 4: had her first child, which, by the way, having kids

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Speaker 4: in your thirties is a way better idea for so

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Speaker 4: many reasons.

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Speaker 2: But anyway, when I'm still not getting sleep and I'm

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Speaker 2: really tired, and you get to climb into your bed

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Speaker 2: and no toddler is going to be in the middle,

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Speaker 2: You'll be saying, ha.

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Speaker 4: Try having an eight year old and a five year

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Speaker 4: old in bed every night.

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Speaker 2: It's that's right, you know what. I feel like you're

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Speaker 2: living my dream.

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Speaker 4: So she had an amazing stuff with her career, Like

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Speaker 4: not to take anything away from her, like she's brilliant

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Speaker 4: what she does, but we had very similar you know,

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Speaker 4: I would say, work ethics and all that kind of stuff.

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Speaker 4: She is currently on two hundred and ten. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 4: you know, so that's the sacrifice I made in terms

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Speaker 4: of being the one at home raising the children. And

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Speaker 4: when I said that to him, he said, well, I

399
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Speaker 4: didn't ask you to do that.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna literally bunch you in the face, so weird.

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Speaker 2: My hand just slipped and fell into your nose.

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Speaker 4: Oh the milk coming out of your boobies wasn't that good?

403
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Speaker 4: And your two days of paternity leave would not have

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Speaker 4: gotten us very far.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's so weird that we had kids when it

406
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,760
Speaker 2: suited you and I was twenty seven and didn't think

407
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Speaker 2: it was going to work, but we did so obviously,

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00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,399
Speaker 2: that is actually a fantastic benchmark to have. And having

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Speaker 2: these money conversations with your friend really empowered you to

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Speaker 2: have a successful mediation, right, So, like what were those conversations?

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Speaker 2: Like did you sit down with your friend and go hey, cool,

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Speaker 2: like you are basically like we split off. It's like

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Speaker 2: the superannuation ad where they're going up the escalators and

414
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:52,080
Speaker 2: that's really powerful. But like, what was that conversation like

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Speaker 2: with your friend? Were you like, can you just tell

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Speaker 2: me what you earn? Was she open to that? Like

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Speaker 2: what did that look like?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? So she's obviously been there for me during this

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Speaker 4: whole massive life change, and she knew that I was

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Speaker 4: going to mediation and I literally just ragged her and

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Speaker 4: I was like, hey, can you, like, we all as

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Speaker 4: women need to get better at talking about money and

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Speaker 4: talking about this stuff. Can you tell me what you've

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Speaker 4: earned in your last like three or four jobs. And

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Speaker 4: she's like, Yep, when I was at this job, I

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Speaker 4: earned this, when I was at this, iland at this,

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Speaker 4: when I was at this, ironed this and I love that.

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Speaker 4: And she's very similarly minded to me in terms of

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Speaker 4: like we need to change this narrative for women, especially,

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Speaker 4: like let's not be like weird about money or weird

431
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Speaker 4: about sex or whatever, like let's just normalize everything. And

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00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,520
Speaker 4: so she was fully just like, yep, anything else you

433
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 4: need to know, you let me know.

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Speaker 2: I can send you a pay slip for an example.

435
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 2: I love her, So tell me how that played into mediation,

436
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:44,359
Speaker 2: Like what was that conversation? Like, I obviously thankfully haven't

437
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Speaker 2: been through this process, but I know that it can

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Speaker 2: be quite fick. Or is that something that you've said, well,

439
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 2: actually i'd be here.

440
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 4: Yep, So I said I would be there, and I

441
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,240
Speaker 4: said to make up for that, I believe I deserve

442
00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,639
Speaker 4: X amount. Unfortunately, because we are both bad with money,

443
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,879
Speaker 4: we didn't really have much of a property pool to

444
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 4: split so I negotiated really hard for a good monthly

445
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 4: payment because in Australia, unfortunately, this is another thing they

446
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 4: don't teach you. They don't give you alimony, so you

447
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 4: have to do it as child support. So that's what

448
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,160
Speaker 4: I negotiated for. So I negotiated for four thousand dollars

449
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,560
Speaker 4: a month from him, which I think for me puts

450
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,639
Speaker 4: me in a much better position in terms of lending

451
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 4: capabilities and things like that. So I went in really

452
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 4: armed with all that information. I also went in armed

453
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 4: with what he isn't over that time. What you know,

454
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 4: when they'd break down those calculations of how much a

455
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 4: woman like it's not just the amount of time that

456
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:44,719
Speaker 4: you spent out of the workforce, it's also the slower

457
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 4: career progression. Because in the time that I was home

458
00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,800
Speaker 4: with the kids, he progressed really rapidly in his career

459
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,439
Speaker 4: because he had the time and space to do that.

460
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 2: It's almost like he had someone supporting him at home

461
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 2: to do that. That's very strange. He didn't know that though,

462
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,240
Speaker 2: So that is a super powerful position to be in.

463
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,080
Speaker 2: You manage to get a good amount of child support.

464
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 2: But obviously, like when I do the maths on that

465
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:12,639
Speaker 2: that actually gets you to being on par or close

466
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 2: to what your friend earns, but that then puts you

467
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,399
Speaker 2: in the basket of being a single parent exactly. So like, yes,

468
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,680
Speaker 2: you're kind of getting that, but like that child support,

469
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: according to Australian government regulation is meant to go towards

470
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: the kids, not necessarily towards your income. So now you're

471
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 2: on par What type of custody arrangements exists? Like is

472
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 2: it fifty to fifty? Are they with you?

473
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:35,639
Speaker 1: Like?

474
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,359
Speaker 2: Has he just decided not only am I walking away

475
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 2: from my marriage, I've had a midlife crissis I want

476
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 2: to be a single male? Like what does that look like?

477
00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 4: To be honest, in a way, I wish he had

478
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 4: have done that. That would have made things easier, but

479
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 4: instead he has turned around and insisted on having them.

480
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 4: So I refuse to do fifty to fifty because they

481
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,199
Speaker 4: are incredibly bonded to me.

482
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, they're too little exactly.

483
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 4: Oh he turned around and told me that they don't

484
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000
Speaker 4: need a primary parent.

485
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 2: Oh okay, that's so strange.

486
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,120
Speaker 4: Our youngest is five years old.

487
00:22:09,440 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no, no, you're the one that

488
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 2: chose this. So I'm going to give them a stable

489
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,120
Speaker 2: home and you can go do your midlife crisis stuff.

490
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: You're not coming back, but like, go have fun.

491
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 4: So currently it's about a sixty forty split. It's not perfect.

492
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 4: There is a bit of doing and throwing, and that's

493
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 4: just because I have certain days that I have to

494
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 4: be in the office, which means I leave. Of course

495
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 4: i'm early, so they stay with him those nights. So

496
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 4: that's two nights a week. So that's what it was originally,

497
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 4: and then once he'd moved out, then he started insisting

498
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 4: I want them every second weekend as well, and I'm like, well.

499
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 2: You can't have your cake, can eat it too, sir,

500
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: you know.

501
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 4: But then it's really hard because you don't want to

502
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 4: be the parent who keeps their children from their other parent.

503
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,959
Speaker 4: But for me, it does still feel like I am

504
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 4: the primary parent because every second week I have them

505
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 4: five nights in a row and they are never with

506
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,159
Speaker 4: him longer than two nights. Like my daughter especially, she's like,

507
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 4: I don't want to be there any longer than two nights,

508
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 4: and I'm like, that's great, that's fine. So I definitely

509
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 4: still feel like the primary parent, which is really good.

510
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 4: So yeah, they do still see him, and I think,

511
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 4: like I will forever bite my tongue and I will

512
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 4: never say anything bad about him to them because it

513
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 4: just doesn't serve anyone anything.

514
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 2: That's iconic mum behavior that is so hard to do.

515
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 2: Like I thankfully I haven't done or been in that situation,

516
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: but you just know that that is such a powerful

517
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: piece that they're going to go into adulthood going hold on,

518
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,719
Speaker 2: Like kids look back right, Like I've got friends and

519
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,160
Speaker 2: family members who have been through that situation, and by

520
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 2: the time they're eighteen twenty, they look back and go,

521
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 2: hold on, the math isn't mathing far out. Mum's a

522
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: good egg. Like That's exactly what's going to happen.

523
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 4: And that's what I want them to see, you know, Like,

524
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 4: I'm very aware that this is like the hardest period

525
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 4: of my life. But what I want my kids to

526
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 4: see is yet dad up and left, but Mum turned

527
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 4: around and she killed it in her career and she

528
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 4: did all these great things. And that's kind of what

529
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 4: I want them to take from this, And I want

530
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 4: them to make up their own decision about him.

531
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 2: They will, Yeah, kids aren't silly.

532
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 4: No, my daughter, especially she's already figuring it out.

533
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,679
Speaker 2: She's a bit of a she's too emotionally intelligent for

534
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 2: our own good at this point, which is really sweet.

535
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,280
Speaker 2: But also you're just like, I wish you weren't as

536
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:24,120
Speaker 2: smart as you are.

537
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I just I wish you weren't going through this.

538
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 4: I wish I'd picked a better person. Sorry, babe, No.

539
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,880
Speaker 2: You did the best that you could and you got her,

540
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,159
Speaker 2: So like that's a perfect outcome. So talk to me.

541
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,120
Speaker 2: You've just gone through all this, what are your current

542
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,080
Speaker 2: big money goals? What are you working towards?

543
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,000
Speaker 4: My biggest money goal, The biggest thing I want in

544
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 4: life is just to buy a home. So when we

545
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 4: moved here, we moved quite quickly and we wanted to

546
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 4: do that to get to where we were going before

547
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 4: the start of the school year for our kids. And

548
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,159
Speaker 4: so we were renting because we're also selling the property

549
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 4: that we bought in our last city. So we're renting,

550
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 4: so have to move out of this rentals and moving back.

551
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 4: But that's a whole separate drama to deal with. Ah.

552
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: Of course, when it rains, it pause.

553
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:10,840
Speaker 4: Literally it's like every day there's something new. So I

554
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 4: want more than anything to just buy a home for

555
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 4: my babies. I just want stability, and I want predictability,

556
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 4: and I just want to be able to have control

557
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 4: of my finances and to be able to take them

558
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 4: on holidays. I want them to experience different cultures and

559
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 4: see the world, and to be honest, those are my

560
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 4: two main money goals. Is just a lovely house for

561
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,879
Speaker 4: my kids, an article home, and to expose them to

562
00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 4: the world and to travel. So my like, I get it.

563
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 4: I'm incredibly fortunate that my parents, when this happened, they

564
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 4: insisted on, you know, helping me to try to buy

565
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 4: a home. Of course, at first I was like, nope,

566
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 4: per absolutely not.

567
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to do this. I'm a strong independent woman.

568
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I was just like, I need no, man,

569
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 4: They've worked so hard for so long. I don't want

570
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 4: them to then have to turn around and be my

571
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 4: parents again, you know. I want them to actually enjoy

572
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:03,000
Speaker 4: being grandparents. But they were sort of like, well, everything

573
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 4: we've got just goes to you and your sister anyway,

574
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:06,040
Speaker 4: so you may as well have it now than when

575
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 4: we kick the bucket. And so I was like, well, I.

576
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 2: Guess oh, and they can probably feel like they're really

577
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 2: helping you and their grandkids. Like I get that, but

578
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 2: also they're like, I don't know. Now I'm a mom

579
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 2: as well. I feel like if Harvey ever went through anything,

580
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: I'd be like no, no, no, I'll fix it, like and

581
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 2: like you have kids, you would bend over backwards. So

582
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: you kind of get it. And I mean, of course

583
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 2: it's a privilege, but like I think the powerful thing

584
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 2: here is we're talking about it and the different outcomes

585
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 2: and what that looks like. And that thing is often

586
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 2: a fair bit of guilt when you even have this

587
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 2: privilege and this access. So what does that look like?

588
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 2: Have you started talking to mortgage brokers? Have you started,

589
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: you know, that process of understanding what it could look like?

590
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, so started down that path. A lot of it

591
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 4: was dependent on the outcome of the mediation, Yeah, of.

592
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 2: Course, because it would depend on then what payments you're getting,

593
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 2: which would play into how much you can borrow.

594
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I have had my financial advice. So they've

595
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 4: got some mortgage brokers at work in their company and

596
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 4: they've sort of run some numbers for me, which is awesome.

597
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 4: But this is where it comes back into it with

598
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:14,399
Speaker 4: my dad, where you know, don't talk about sex drugs, politics, religion,

599
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,959
Speaker 4: or money. It's kind of like, Dad, I'm so grateful

600
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 4: that your mom are going to help, but like, what

601
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 4: does that look like in dollar terms? He's just like, oh, well,

602
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,680
Speaker 4: would you just find a house and then we'll tell

603
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: you if we can do that or not. And I'm like,

604
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 4: it's not really how it works.

605
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 2: That then sets unrealistic expectations and it's really uncomfortable.

606
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and look he hasn't He's only ever been in

607
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 4: a regional area. It's like, no one a bloke who

608
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,800
Speaker 4: knows a bloke, And so I don't think they quite

609
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 4: get how like the market and stuff works these days.

610
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 2: But yeah, it doesn't cost twenty thousand dollars to buy

611
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 2: a house any more. Dad.

612
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:48,600
Speaker 4: No.

613
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like it might actually not be feasible.

614
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 4: Yes, so let's figure out what is feasible. So they

615
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 4: have a financial advisor themselves, So I've said, can I

616
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 4: sit in on a meeting with her and we can talk,

617
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,360
Speaker 4: because the first thing I want to talk to their

618
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,240
Speaker 4: financial advisor about is to say, I just want to

619
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,400
Speaker 4: make sure I'm not in any way going to be

620
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 4: negatively impacting their life, you know, So you tell me

621
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 4: as their financial advisor, what are you going to tell

622
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:14,280
Speaker 4: them not to do? And what are you going to

623
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 4: tell them is actually like a.

624
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 2: Good thing to do and that's really thoughtful.

625
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then the second thing will be, okay, like,

626
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 4: what are we talking about in terms of dollar figures?

627
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 4: So that's kind of where we are right now. I

628
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,520
Speaker 4: should have that meeting next week, and then I'll meet

629
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 4: with my financial advisor. Because the banks want to see

630
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 4: like three to six months of the child'sport payments coming through,

631
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 4: I'll need to wait a little bit. My huge, massive

632
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 4: goal is I would love to be in the new

633
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,760
Speaker 4: house by the time the kids start the twenty twenty

634
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 4: five school year.

635
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:44,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure it can happen. We're manifesting this.

636
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 4: My friend taught me how to manifest under the full moon,

637
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 4: so I did that.

638
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: Okay, good, I love this.

639
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 4: I mean, what have we got to lose at this point?

640
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: Literally? Nothing? Literally nothing like not one thing. All right,

641
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 2: let's go to a really quick break and on the

642
00:28:57,680 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 2: flip side, I want to talk about investments and debt

643
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 2: and best and worst money habit, So don't go anywhere

644
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 2: money direst we are back. I'm gonna talk investments, but

645
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: I actually want to step a little bit back. When

646
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 2: you're in mediation, did you talk about superannuation? Did you

647
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 2: negotiate for any what did that look like?

648
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 4: Yes? We did. This was again where he came in

649
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 4: very unprepared.

650
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:25,080
Speaker 2: Get it, queen, I love this so much. I'm like deserved, deserved.

651
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I mean yeah, if you understood how like

652
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 4: Beta I had been in my relationship, you would be like,

653
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 4: who is this person? Like, I'm just like, let's take

654
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 4: control of our life now. Oh no.

655
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 2: He was shocked too, and that's what we want. We

656
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 2: want to blindside him.

657
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, So when the subject of super was brought up,

658
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 4: he was kind of like, what why do you get

659
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 4: my super? Ah?

660
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:47,719
Speaker 2: I love this so much, and you were like, well, actually,

661
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:49,840
Speaker 2: here is the research, here is the reason why.

662
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 4: Well and I didn't even have to say it. The

663
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 4: mediator said it, which was even better, and I was like,

664
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 4: you know, I took nine years out of full time work,

665
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 4: my earning capacity, my earning potential, blah blah blah. And

666
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 4: then he's like, yeah, but I'm years older, so I'm

667
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,040
Speaker 4: closer to retirement than you. And it was like irrelevant.

668
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: We had eight years more to think about this terrible decision.

669
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,959
Speaker 4: Didn't you also, and as the mediator pointed out, but

670
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 4: you also still earn triple what she earns.

671
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 2: I love this mediator, this mediator we know in the background.

672
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 2: This mediator was like money, darist, I'm on your team.

673
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: Well he was recommended by my lawyer for that reason.

674
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 2: Iconic.

675
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 4: Yeah. And so in the end, part of my negotiating

676
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 4: was I negotiated for a higher figure for the monthly

677
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 4: payment and said I want fifty percent of your super

678
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 4: and he was like, absolutely not to both. And I

679
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 4: was like, okay, fine, what about an equalization of super.

680
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 4: He was like, what does that even mean. I was like,

681
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 4: silly boy, it means we joined them together and then

682
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 4: we split them in half. And he was like, okay, fine,

683
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 4: we'll do that. But then the mediator said, well, actually,

684
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 4: I don't think the court will sign off on that

685
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 4: because that's not a fair division. So in the end,

686
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 4: I've gotten sixty percent of you Super.

687
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 2: It's not a fair division. You asked for half, and

688
00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 2: now you've got sixty percent of you Super. I'm so sorry.

689
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,280
Speaker 2: I shouldn't laugh at this because obviously, like you know,

690
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 2: there's two sides, or there's actually three sides to every story,

691
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 2: but like, you know, he deserves to be financially secure

692
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: as well, of course, but like not going in prepared

693
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: saying that fifty percent's not okay, continuing the conversation, ending

694
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 2: up with forty percent. Oh, I love this. So you

695
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: got sixty percent of your super.

696
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 4: Yep, and now I need to work with my financial

697
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 4: advisor about where we put that and how we put

698
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 4: that in some super aggressive accounts to make sure that

699
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 4: that's doing the most it can do.

700
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh my gosh, Like that is probably my favorite

701
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 2: thing I've heard all day. So where does that put

702
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 2: you in relation to the average superannuation balance for your age?

703
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 4: What is the average balance? I don't know. I think

704
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 4: it will end me with about one hundred and eighty

705
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 4: five thousand in super. Yeah, so that puts you way

706
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 4: above and beyond for your age because you're thirty five.

707
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 4: So that means that you are doing really well ten

708
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 4: out of ten.

709
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 2: I like that is set you up. In a couple

710
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 2: of years, You're going to be like, this was the

711
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 2: best thing that ever happened to me. Sometimes I like

712
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: seeing women win, and today is that day. So tell

713
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: me a bit more about investments now, So you're obviously

714
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 2: you've got some superminuation. You now are backup where potentially

715
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,320
Speaker 2: you could have been had you worked those nine years.

716
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 2: What other investments do you potentially have if you don't?

717
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 2: Obviously completely fine? But like, have you thought about it?

718
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:31,120
Speaker 2: What does that look like?

719
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 4: Yeah? So I was always really scared of investing. I

720
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 4: always wanted to invest in property. My dream has always

721
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 4: kind of been to have like investment properties and stuff

722
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 4: like that, but we've just never been in a financial

723
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 4: position to do that. But listening to you guys made

724
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 4: me just decide not to be so scared of it.

725
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 4: So I downloaded.

726
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 2: Chase's Oh I can't, I can't.

727
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 4: I got my ten dollars, I contributed another thirty, and

728
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 4: I was just like, well, you know, you've got to

729
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 4: start somewhere. I've got to be in it to win it.

730
00:32:59,080 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 2: One hundred percent.

731
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 4: And I just look, I didn't do a whole bunch

732
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 4: of research. I just invested into companies that I buy

733
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: from a lot and was like, well, I may as

734
00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 4: well be a shareholder there.

735
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 2: I love this, You're buying from your own business.

736
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 4: There's a lot more research I need to do. I

737
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 4: need to like sit down and I need to invest

738
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 4: in your investing course and all that kind of stuff

739
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 4: when I've got time to sit and.

740
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 2: Do it one hundred percent.

741
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 4: Because I need to do that. I need to And

742
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 4: that's what I love about this is like breaking down

743
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 4: that barrier, is making it approachable and accessible for just

744
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 4: normal people. I think it was just something this is

745
00:33:32,080 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 4: how the rich kept getting richer? Is it was all

746
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 4: this like secretive stuff that the everyday person didn't understand,

747
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 4: and now that we can.

748
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 2: It's literally why I left being a financial advisor because

749
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 2: the information that I was sharing every single day, I

750
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: just knew how powerful it was when put into the

751
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: right hands. But the hands that I was putting it

752
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 2: into were the ones that could afford it, and the

753
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,719
Speaker 2: ones that could afford it like amazing, incredible, Like I

754
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 2: was so happy that I could do that, But it

755
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,280
Speaker 2: was always in the back of my mind that how

756
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 2: much more powerful would it be if it was in

757
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,400
Speaker 2: the hands of you know, thirty five year old money

758
00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: diarist who has just gone through a divorce and needs

759
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: that support and deserves to absolutely shine, but wouldn't know

760
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,920
Speaker 2: where to start. Like that's what I wanted to do,

761
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 2: And obviously I'm so proud that I have. But now

762
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: I just know that we're in the right place and

763
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 2: we've made financial advice accessible. And I mean, as you said,

764
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:27,279
Speaker 2: you've got a financial advisor. Bit like, there is this

765
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 2: barrier even with financial advisors where often, especially as women,

766
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,360
Speaker 2: we just hand over the keys to the kingdom because

767
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: they're usually male and they can run it for us

768
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: and they tell us what we need. But even if

769
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 2: you have a financial advisor, going and doing the investing

770
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: masterclass or listening to the podcast means that you go

771
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,920
Speaker 2: to those meetings so much more informed, so much more empowered,

772
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 2: so much more motivated because you're like, well, actually, I

773
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 2: know it's possible. I don't just have this dude that

774
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:55,720
Speaker 2: sits down and shows me a graph and says money

775
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 2: direst in this many years you will have X many

776
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 2: dollars and you go, ah, okay, like you're empowered by

777
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 2: it as opposed to overwhelmed. And I just think it's

778
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,160
Speaker 2: so smart.

779
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 4: I'm just learning those that, Like there's been so many

780
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 4: like little things that I've learned, because I mean, I've

781
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 4: like binged like your whole catalog pretty much in the

782
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 4: last foremost.

783
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 2: Sorry that you're probably over me, but I'm not going anywhere,

784
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 2: So I.

785
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 4: Love that and just even little things right because I

786
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 4: was like, traditionally, I've always been paid monthly, and now

787
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 4: I get paid weekly, And I was like, Oh, that's

788
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 4: so annoying for like cash flow. But then I heard

789
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,719
Speaker 4: you guys talking on an episode recently where you were like,

790
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 4: it's actually better to pay your mortgage weekly because and

791
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 4: I was like, oh.

792
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,760
Speaker 2: It is because you save on interest. Yeah.

793
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 4: So then I'm like, actually, that's a great thing. But

794
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 4: I get paid weekly.

795
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can automate it, like you could do

796
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 2: a direct like debit and transfer it all automatically so

797
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: that your money's working super hard for you exactly. Yeah,

798
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 2: smart women doing smart things money, diriced, I want to

799
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 2: know do you have any debt currently or did you

800
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:53,879
Speaker 2: come out on top?

801
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 4: We cleared the debts, so that's part of why we've

802
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 4: not got much in the property pool clean slate though.

803
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: That that's how I.

804
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 4: Kind of look at it, is like, let's just start

805
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,560
Speaker 4: from here, So no debts, which is good you from

806
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 4: my perspective or an icon like you negotiated his superinnuation.

807
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,600
Speaker 4: You've come out of it with a really good child

808
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 4: support payment. He probably didn't see this coming. He's like,

809
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,160
Speaker 4: this is actually not how I thought this would go.

810
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 4: I'm lucky for you, sir, but I feel like you

811
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 4: do have a few good money habits. What do you

812
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,440
Speaker 4: think is your best money habit? I never buy anything

813
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,760
Speaker 4: full price. I can't bring myself to do it, especially

814
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 4: when it comes to like clothes and stuff like that.

815
00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:36,400
Speaker 4: I always always wait for a sale, and I often

816
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 4: do the like put a cart, log in, make an

817
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 4: online cart, and then you log out of it and

818
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 4: like close it down, and then they'll send you like, hey,

819
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 4: we'll give you fifteen percent off your cart because they're

820
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 4: afraid that you're about to go.

821
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, because like you're a lost cart.

822
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 4: The other good one I do is I love like

823
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,399
Speaker 4: skin treatments and stuff like that, and a lot of

824
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 4: like the big companies they'll do like sixty percent off

825
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 4: day sales, and so I buy, like for like skin

826
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:07,359
Speaker 4: needling treatments, and then I use them over the course

827
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 4: of the year because you get them like sixty percent

828
00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,920
Speaker 4: of so that I kind of try to hack the timing.

829
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 2: Oh that's smart, So you like bulk by to make

830
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 2: sure that you're getting good value. I love that skin

831
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 2: ealing is something that I've wanted to do for so long.

832
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,000
Speaker 2: I have to ask you about it off air because

833
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, what else can I do for my skin?

834
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: I feel like you hit thirty and it really starts

835
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 2: to feel like things decline.

836
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and if you couple the skin needling with some

837
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:31,359
Speaker 4: laser all.

838
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 2: Right, all right, I'm on it. I'm on it, all right.

839
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 2: I want to know. On the flip side, though, what's

840
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 2: your worst money? Have it?

841
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 4: The aforementioned ADHD.

842
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 2: You're just a little bit spendy, a little bit impulsive.

843
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,879
Speaker 4: I'm so spendy. I'm so impulsive.

844
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,800
Speaker 2: I just am like, we're just a little bit neurospicy, exactly,

845
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,799
Speaker 2: and I need to get better at that.

846
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,879
Speaker 4: But I think and even like learning about like up

847
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,919
Speaker 4: bank by listening to you guys, like I've started creating

848
00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 4: all those little tiny accounts, and for me that's already

849
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 4: just feeling like I've got so much more control about it. Like,

850
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 4: and I think for me to just have this is

851
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 4: your pool of money for the month, it just doesn't work.

852
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:07,720
Speaker 4: I just go crazy.

853
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 2: Words.

854
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 4: If I'm like, you have one hundred dollars a month

855
00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 4: to spend on lunches, you have two hundred dollars a

856
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:19,000
Speaker 4: month to spend on I don't know, clothes for the kids.

857
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 4: Whatever it might be that seems excessive for the kid,

858
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 4: but whatever.

859
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 2: It's just a good example.

860
00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that really works for me and my brain,

861
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 4: and so I need to start kind of really implementing

862
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 4: that a bit more bucketing things. Yeah, bucketing I think

863
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 4: for me will be really huge. And I think I

864
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 4: haven't had my own money and my own control over

865
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 4: my money for like ten plus years.

866
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 2: So you are living. I'm actually going to set you

867
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 2: up with my Money Masterclass, which has a whole budget

868
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: and cash flow system for you, and it does it automated,

869
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: so it is a very bucket system and it integrates

870
00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 2: really well with upbank. You can use any bank literally,

871
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 2: but like once you get your fun money as well,

872
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 2: because I have a food, fuel and fun account and

873
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,439
Speaker 2: we put our in there every week, and like I've

874
00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 2: done it based on my spending as someone who is

875
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 2: pretty neurospicy, Like this is how I got to manage it,

876
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: and it seems to work across the board. But it's

877
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,040
Speaker 2: going to show you how it breaks down and kind

878
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 2: of put away the stuff that you need to put away,

879
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,160
Speaker 2: but then give you access to the things that you

880
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,640
Speaker 2: need access to. And I think that that will actually

881
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 2: turbocharge your budgeting and cash flow because it plugs into

882
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 2: what you're already using. And like, we love a spreadsheet

883
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: and it has a whole kids section, Like you are

884
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,239
Speaker 2: going to be absolutely killing it, and I can't wait.

885
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 2: Money durist at the start we got on and I

886
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is going to be a bit sad,

887
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 2: like this is not going to be great. You know,

888
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: she's told us that she thinks she's a cautionary tale.

889
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:52,080
Speaker 2: She just said, oh, my money grade's probably DDUS. I'm sorry.

890
00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:55,840
Speaker 2: What kind of D minus negotiates and gets sixty percent

891
00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:00,040
Speaker 2: of their ex husband's super inuation? What kind of D

892
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,760
Speaker 2: minus gets a four thousand dollars a month child support payment?

893
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,560
Speaker 2: Because they were like absolutely not. Who is that smart

894
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: that they go to their best friend that they did

895
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 2: university with and says, actually, can you let me know

896
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 2: what your career trajectory looked? Like, okay, you were on

897
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 2: two hundred and ten thousand dollars and then takes that

898
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 2: to mediation and says, this is where I could have been,

899
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,800
Speaker 2: this is what I'm missing out. Sorry, is that deep

900
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 2: minus behavior like you might not feel like you're that

901
00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:28,320
Speaker 2: good at it, but I'm pretty good at judging people's

902
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 2: you know, money stories, and yours is telling me that

903
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 2: you are like very very A plus. I mean, you

904
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 2: might not feel like you're there yet because you're like,

905
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 2: look the I haven't got the house, I haven't got

906
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,280
Speaker 2: the savings. Like I just I feel like I'm behind.

907
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,000
Speaker 2: But like, you're thirty five, You've got a clean slate,

908
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,640
Speaker 2: you've got a great super fund, you've got two beautiful kids,

909
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: and you are able to afford a very comfortable lifestyle.

910
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 2: What do you actually reckon you are after this conversation?

911
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,960
Speaker 4: Okay, I love the reframe because I had not considered

912
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 4: any of that stuff as part of my financial grading.

913
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 4: I was more thinking of my day to day spending habits.

914
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 2: Do I spend too much? Yeah? I go to sandwich today.

915
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,280
Speaker 4: All right, I will give myself a B plus because

916
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 4: I do feel like I'm proud of myself and negotiating

917
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 4: real hard.

918
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 2: Oh, you are an icon, and I hope that people

919
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 2: listen to this and if ever they find themselves in

920
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 2: a similar position, which obviously we don't wish on anyone,

921
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 2: but if you do, here's an example of who we

922
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: want to be in those moments, like we want to

923
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 2: channel out inner money arrested, like literally asking for what

924
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:34,759
Speaker 2: you deserve. You won't even asking for more. You were

925
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 2: just like, this is where I would have been career wise.

926
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: So if we could just make sure that I'm not

927
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 2: missing out, that would be fantastic. Thank you.

928
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,319
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think it's about just no one wants

929
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 4: to think about this happening. I certainly didn't. I certainly

930
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 4: never thought this was in my life. And there were

931
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 4: many times throughout my relationship where I was like, I'm

932
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 4: really being a bad feminist. I need to have my

933
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 4: own account because like, what if you go crazy one

934
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 4: day and I have to leave? And he was always like,

935
00:41:57,160 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 4: don't be silly, Oh.

936
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 2: Don't be silly. You know why you didn't have to

937
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: be silly because he was.

938
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:04,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I would just say to all women, just

939
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:09,439
Speaker 4: have your own account with something in it for one

940
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 4: day exactly.

941
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 2: I feel like this has been a really good chat.

942
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 2: I'm so sad that we don't have more time to

943
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 2: chat about literally everything including skin needling, but alas we've

944
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 2: run out of time. Thank you so much for joining us.

945
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 2: I have absolutely adored this money Diary. I feel like, yes,

946
00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 2: it serves as a cautionary tale to make sure that

947
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,640
Speaker 2: you have your own emergency fund, you've got access to

948
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 2: your cash, and that we aren't letting all of those

949
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 2: little steps lead us completely off path. But also that

950
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 2: when these things happen, we don't bury our heads in

951
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 2: the sand, because if we do, we end up in

952
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: a worse off position. And you've proved that by not

953
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 2: burying your head in the sand, like you've put yourself

954
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: not only on a clean slate, but you have put

955
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 2: yourself in a position where you are going to thrive.

956
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 2: And I cannot wait to see it. So stay in contact,

957
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:55,720
Speaker 2: my friend.

958
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: I will when I finally buy the house, I will

959
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 4: tell you.

960
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm so excited. Please tell me. And I hope

961
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 2: that we cross paths in person at some point. So

962
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 2: thank you so much, thank you. The advice shared on

963
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,040
Speaker 2: She's on the Money is general in nature and does

964
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,040
Speaker 2: not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists

965
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:23,359
Speaker 2: purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon

966
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 2: to make an investment or financial decision. If you do

967
00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS TMD

968
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 2: and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs. Victoria

969
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,919
Speaker 2: Divine and She's on the Money are authorized representatives of Money.

970
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,919
Speaker 2: Sheper Pty Ltd ABN three two one is six four

971
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,879
Speaker 2: nine two seven seven zero eight AFSL four five one

972
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,960
Speaker 2: two eight nine