1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,840 Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud or 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whaltbury and a waddery woman. And before 3 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I 4 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,240 Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 5 00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming 7 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:26,880 Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for 9 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,040 Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 2: Let's get into it. 11 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money. 12 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,760 Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast. Let's 13 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 2: you be pervy about other people's money habits for educational 14 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 2: purposes of course, Welcome back to another one of our 15 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 2: money diaries where we get to talk with one of 16 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: our incredible She's on the Money community members all about 17 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 2: their journey. Let's jump straight into it, because this week 18 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 2: I got a message and it went like this, Hi 19 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,399 Speaker 2: V and the She's on the Money team. I got 20 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,400 Speaker 2: everything I ever wanted and then it burnt down. After 21 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 2: listening to every She's on the Money episode. My partner 22 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 2: and I decided to save for a house at the 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 2: end of twenty nineteen. Then COVID hit, which pushed our 24 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 2: plans back. We spent four and a half years living 25 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 2: with our parents, saving every dollar we could. In February, 26 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,360 Speaker 2: we finally bought our dream home. By July we were engaged. 27 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 2: Now we've split up. I've moved back in with my 28 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 2: parents and I'm trying to work out what's next. It's 29 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 2: been a roller coaster, but I'm slowly picking up the 30 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 2: pieces to figuring out where to go from here. Money Diarist, Hi, 31 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 2: and welcome to the show. Hi, Plot Twist, nothing that 32 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 2: you ever wanted has seemingly worked out. 33 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, look at it was a bit of a surprise 34 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 4: to me as well. 35 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I have so many questions and it's 36 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,079 Speaker 2: crazy because I feel like there are a lot of 37 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,120 Speaker 2: people in our community going through something similar. At the moment, 38 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: I feel like there's a change in the wind, there's 39 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 2: something going on, so I'm excited to get into it. 40 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,400 Speaker 2: But before we get there, Money Darist, if I asked 41 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 2: you to give your money habits a grade from A 42 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 2: through to air for, what would you grade them? 43 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 5: I think a B plus is fair A B plus? 44 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: All right? I love that. Let's start there and now 45 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,160 Speaker 2: let's get into the pervy bits money darist, Can you 46 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 2: tell me a little bit more about your money story. 47 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, sure, so I guess for me, money is the 48 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,679 Speaker 5: thing that you need to get what you want. My 49 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 5: mum and dad are very live in the moment people 50 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 5: and always said things like, oh, the bank's got money, 51 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 5: whereas I am very cautious and was always looking to 52 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 5: do the safest thing, which is why I was a 53 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 5: good saver, So you know, good and bad. I was, 54 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 5: like you said, with my partner for eight years, and 55 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 5: we went to Europe in the summer of nineteen pre COVID, 56 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 5: and when we got back, we decided we wanted to 57 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 5: live together, and we talked about how we wanted to 58 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 5: do that, and we both decided we wanted to buy 59 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:25,080 Speaker 5: a house. So I did a massive research piece and 60 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,120 Speaker 5: a lot of XL spreadsheets about the houses that we 61 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 5: wanted in what areas, and how much they were going for, 62 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 5: and then what twenty percent of that would be, and 63 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 5: then how long it would take us to save up 64 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 5: that much, which at the time was about two years, 65 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 5: which is what I pitched to my mum and dad 66 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 5: when I said, can I stay here for a little 67 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,839 Speaker 5: bit longer? Yeah? And then COVID hit and it took 68 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 5: us four and a half. 69 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 2: Years, which is fair. I feel like that just threw 70 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 2: everyone for a twist. 71 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 5: It really did. And then eventually in February, we ended 72 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,160 Speaker 5: up buying a house in suburban Adelaide for eight hundred 73 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 5: thousand dollars and we saved up thirty percent to cover 74 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 5: the deposit and the fees, and then we also had 75 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 5: thirty thousand dollars to furnish the house and a thirty 76 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 5: thousand dollar emergency fund because I don't do anything without 77 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 5: an emergency fund. 78 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 2: Okay, you're a woman after my own heart. I mean 79 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 2: I can't say the same because, like I absolutely royally 80 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 2: mucked up my finances when I was a bit younger. 81 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 2: But like I'm impressed. 82 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it took a really long time, but 83 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,800 Speaker 4: we got there, and then when we go into the house, 84 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 4: we got engaged because that was the next thing, and 85 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 4: then started planning a wedding. 86 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,160 Speaker 2: And I have to ask before we get to what 87 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 2: we know has happened, did at any point you go 88 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 2: this isn't right or this isn't going to work out 89 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 2: or like, cause I feel like eight years is a 90 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,880 Speaker 2: really long time. And to have gone on a holiday 91 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 2: together overseas and then come home and said we want 92 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,919 Speaker 2: to live together, Like, that's pretty big because after a 93 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: holiday overseas, you could have driven each other up the wall, 94 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 2: like I know, even traveling with my own husband. I'm like, 95 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: all right, so we need some alone time. But you 96 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: came home and said we want to live together. So 97 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,919 Speaker 2: at what point were you like, tell me more, like, 98 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 2: did you know? Did you not know? 99 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:13,360 Speaker 5: I just it's so funny because I've had so many 100 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 5: people ask me this. 101 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,479 Speaker 2: Sorry for repeating it, but now the millions of people 102 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 2: that all listened to She's on the money, they're not 103 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,840 Speaker 2: going to ask you because they'll already know. So I'm 104 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,239 Speaker 2: basically doing your service. 105 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:27,040 Speaker 5: No, it's fine. I think we're very similar people. And 106 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 5: what I needed at the time was safety and someone 107 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 5: who would support me, which was lovely, but I think 108 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 5: it was almost too safe. 109 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, and I. 110 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 5: Think that's what changed. It's actually the catalyst for all 111 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 5: of this was that a friend of mine at work, 112 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 5: we went out and you know, we're having lunch and 113 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 5: things like that. And then one night he said, oh, 114 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 5: you know, some of us are going out. Do you 115 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 5: want to come? And I said, oh, yeah too, sure 116 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 5: and then we went out and for whatever reason, a 117 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 5: bunch of people had pulled out and it ended up 118 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:10,480 Speaker 5: just being the two of us. And then he told 119 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 5: me that he liked me. Oh no, yeah, and I 120 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 5: was like, oh. 121 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 2: My god, this is not what I thought tonight was 122 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 2: going to be about. 123 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, and he asked me, what do you want? And 124 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,400 Speaker 5: I went home and told my partner and was like, look, 125 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 5: this is what's happened. 126 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 2: Oh good. I was about to be like, because okay, 127 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,239 Speaker 2: I'm a bit black and white and like literally no judgment. 128 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 2: If you'd said I cheated on my partner, I'd be like, cool, 129 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,039 Speaker 2: can you tell me about that? Like it's not my 130 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 2: decision you're making. But like, in that moment, why did 131 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 2: he feel safe enough to be like, by the way, 132 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 2: money Diarist, I have a raging crush on you, and 133 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,359 Speaker 2: I know you're already in a relationship, so what do 134 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,840 Speaker 2: you want? Were you like what the hell? 135 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:50,239 Speaker 3: Mate? 136 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 2: Like, where did this come from? Or was this or 137 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 2: like oh they're like yeah. There were eyes across the 138 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 2: office like tell me. 139 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 5: Well, I think I was very nicive because after I 140 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 5: spoke to my team, they were like, yeah, did you 141 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 5: not notice he came over like all the time and 142 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 5: was like, you know, always trying to talk to you. 143 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: And I was like, no, see, I'm a bit naive 144 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,640 Speaker 2: like that too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, like if you don't 145 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: put up a billboard that says I like you, like, 146 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 2: I just assume we're friends, Like I just think we're POWs. 147 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 2: Like were you when you were a bit younger, did 148 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 2: you get accused of flirting with people as well? And 149 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 2: then you were like but I wasn't And it turns 150 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 2: out you were just super friendly. 151 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, this is not the first time this has happened. 152 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, assume. 153 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 5: Everyone's really friendly and helpful, yep, yep. 154 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 2: And it just turns out maybe we're all just a 155 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 2: bit friendly. 156 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 5: Yeah. Oh gosh, So I spiraled for like a whole 157 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 5: week and just really thought about what I wanted. 158 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 2: But you went home and you told your partner yes, 159 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 2: so awkward. How did you have that conversation? Oh, by 160 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: the way, tonight I accidentally went on a date and 161 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 2: the guy I told me that he really liked it 162 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 2: was your partner like yeah, cool, like I like you too, 163 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 2: or was your partner like what are you want money? 164 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 2: Dires like, I don't know how this would have gone. 165 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 5: Credit to him, he's a really lovely, patient, kind person. 166 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,800 Speaker 5: He was like, oh, I'm really sorry that happened, and 167 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 5: you know that wasn't what you were expecting and that 168 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 5: sounds really hard, Like if you need anything, let me know. 169 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 2: And I was like, hey, what a guy, Because if 170 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 2: my husband came home and said I went on an 171 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 2: accidental date, I'd be like, cool, So have you got 172 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:29,480 Speaker 2: the keys? 173 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 5: Though? 174 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 2: If I got the keys because we're. 175 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 5: Going yeah, literally no. He was lovely and I said, oh, look, 176 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 5: I just need a little bit of time to just 177 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 5: think about what happened and why it happened. And so 178 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 5: then I went on like a week long analyzing party 179 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 5: of my own and really thought about why I made 180 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 5: the choices I had, and I was really lucky. I 181 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 5: have a really supportive team at work and they made 182 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 5: it so comfortable that I could actually make a decision 183 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 5: like this. And I after a week said to my partner, 184 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:09,200 Speaker 5: because the poor thing was so anxious and worried, oh. 185 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: He would have been stressing. Yeah, my partners just said, hey, 186 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 2: I actually want to think about this guy that wasn't 187 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 2: a prospect the minute before. 188 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it was a I referred to it as 189 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 5: a disaster quite often. And yeah, I said to him, 190 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 5: I'm really sorry. I didn't realize, but this isn't what 191 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,240 Speaker 5: I want, and I'm really sorry, And take as much 192 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 5: time as you need and reach out to me when 193 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 5: you're ready to talk again, and we can. 194 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. So within a week you went from 195 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 2: being like weah, well la lah, I don't even mind 196 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,880 Speaker 2: to oh, by the way, so I've actually come to 197 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 2: my senses and I don't want this at all. Yep, yep, 198 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 2: it was a bit wild. Oh my gosh, did you 199 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 2: give yourself whiplash? Because I feel like I've got whiplash. 200 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:59,040 Speaker 5: Yeah. It was pretty intense, and all the people around 201 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 5: me were so shocked and confused, and I had to 202 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 5: do a lot of explaining, which is when you're trying 203 00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 5: to process it. It's also quite difficult. 204 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're like, I actually don't know, but I 205 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 2: just feel this way and I've made the decision, and 206 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 2: I feel like that's the right thing for me because 207 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 2: I feel lighter. But I can't even tell you why 208 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 2: I feel lighter right now. 209 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,959 Speaker 5: Yeah, it was a bit like that, And yeah, it 210 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 5: just so much relief that, you know, I don't actually 211 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 5: have to do all of the things that were set 212 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 5: out before me, Like I don't have to have the 213 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,560 Speaker 5: big white wedding, I don't have to have kids if 214 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 5: I don't want to. I can keep pursuing my career 215 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 5: in the way that I have been. And it was 216 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 5: just like so cathartic to be able to have choice again. 217 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 2: So was it more of a I don't want a 218 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 2: relationship at this point or was it like I would 219 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 2: like to date this other person? Like how did that happen? 220 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 2: Because I feel like there's a lot to it, and 221 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: I feel like often, as you guys know, I have 222 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,760 Speaker 2: a backro in psychology, so these things are not always 223 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 2: just straight laced and like, oh yeah, I just broke 224 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: up with my partner and started dating someone else's full stop, 225 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 2: end of story. It's kind of like a mix of 226 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:13,840 Speaker 2: emotions and I actually genuinely don't want the first thing, 227 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: and now it's awkward because there's someone else there, Like 228 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 2: what did that look like? 229 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 5: Messy? 230 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, understandably. 231 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 5: So I obviously took that week to really analyze my 232 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 5: own behavior and what I wanted. And I've been seeing 233 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,559 Speaker 5: a psychologist as well to talk through this because it's 234 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 5: a pretty massive life decision and chatting to them about 235 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 5: why I wanted this. And I think it's got an 236 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 5: awful lot to do with being the good girl and 237 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 5: doing everything you're supposed to do and getting a bit 238 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 5: older and being a little bit more self critical and 239 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,760 Speaker 5: self aware, going well, is this actually what I want? 240 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 2: It turns out it wasn't. It wasn't what you wanted. 241 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 5: Exactly, And I think this person from work who am 242 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 5: now dating? Hello? 243 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:02,040 Speaker 2: Who who saw that coming? 244 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: Not me? Wow? 245 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 5: I don't know right. It was so ridiculous because I 246 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 5: was so shocked by it, but apparently the entire office 247 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 5: was like, oh, yeah, we knew for ages And I 248 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 5: was like, well, did anyone want to tell me? Yeah. 249 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 2: This is when my best friend literally flew to my 250 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 2: state from a different state to tell me that she 251 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: was gay. And I was like, sorry, what, like you 252 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 2: you didn't know? Like did you not know? And she 253 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 2: was like what do you mean You're not shocked? And 254 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 2: I was like really really, like I feel like everybody 255 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 2: but you knew this at this stage literally, it was 256 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 2: so like that at this stage, I just thought we 257 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: weren't talking about it because you weren't that comfortable sharing 258 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 2: that part of your life. Not oh, Victoria doesn't know. 259 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,960 Speaker 5: Oh, it was so funny and like so silly that 260 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:56,520 Speaker 5: everyone you accept me. And I think what's really nice 261 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 5: is that I spent a fair bit of time working 262 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 5: out what I wanted and good. I feel really comfortable 263 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 5: knowing now what I want from life, and he's just 264 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 5: you know, a nice added bonus. 265 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like having a conversation with you. 266 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 2: And obviously the privilyg dry I have right now is 267 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 2: I can see a body language and no one else can. Like, 268 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 2: you are clearly quite emotionally intelligent about this. I feel 269 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 2: like some people aren't. I could tell from the way 270 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,079 Speaker 2: that you were talking about it either you had a 271 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 2: background in psychology, you've done a lot of inner work, 272 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 2: or you'd seen a psychologist like you are talking about 273 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:35,240 Speaker 2: it in such a balanced way. And also, I'm so 274 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 2: impressed with the respect you have for your past partner, 275 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 2: Like the way that you're like, oh, no, he was 276 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 2: really kind and safe and like I trusted him like 277 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 2: that is such a beautiful way too. It's like, let's 278 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,719 Speaker 2: be honest, the messiest of situations because you probably are 279 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 2: also dealing with a whole heap of guilt. You're like, 280 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,400 Speaker 2: I hate the fact that I met you literally right 281 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 2: now and this is happening. Why couldn't this happen twelve 282 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 2: months in advance instead of like out like all of 283 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: those things. But it's very nice to talk to somebody 284 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 2: about a situation like this. But like, yeah, it was messy, 285 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,839 Speaker 2: and it was awful and all of these things and 286 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,080 Speaker 2: not great, but it is what it is. So essentially, 287 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 2: you burnt your own life down and now we're building 288 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 2: it back up. Tell me what does that potentially look like? 289 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 2: Because you said earlier, I don't have to have the 290 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,040 Speaker 2: big white wedding. I don't have to have kids if 291 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 2: I don't want to, and I mean MESSI you already 292 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 2: owned property with your ex partner, Like when she went hard, 293 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 2: she went real hard. 294 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 5: Yeah, my parents said to me when I made the decision, 295 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 5: they were like, you didn't want to do it before 296 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 5: the hellse And I was like, look, if i'd known, sure, 297 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 5: do you know. 298 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 2: What, guys, you're really lucky I did it before kids. 299 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 5: Well exactly, And that was part of the reason why 300 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 5: I was like, I need to make a decision sooner 301 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 5: rather than later, because it's also unfair on my past 302 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 5: partner as well. You know, he has a life to 303 00:14:55,840 --> 00:15:00,040 Speaker 5: live as well. But yeah, no, it's crazy. Now I 304 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 5: have so many options. But I literally got a call 305 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,600 Speaker 5: yesterday and found out that I got approved for a rental. 306 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,440 Speaker 2: Oh exciting. Wait, so this is super fresh, is it? 307 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 1: Oh? 308 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, this is like happened in October. 309 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, because like in what you're reading, you were like, 310 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 2: you know, in February we purchased. Now we've split up, 311 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 2: like July. But it feels like maybe this was like 312 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 2: a couple of weeks ago as opposed to a couple 313 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 2: of months, like you know, four or five or even 314 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 2: now six notes like real fresh. 315 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 5: Hay, yeah, no, it's real. 316 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, Well I. 317 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,560 Speaker 5: Think it's so lovely. People often reflect, you know, a 318 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 5: year or so after, and you get to hear about 319 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 5: what it was like. But I'm literally in the mess. 320 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 2: Oh no, she's in it. Yeah, she's in it. So 321 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,720 Speaker 2: tell me more about this mess. Like you met at work, 322 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 2: so I need to know what do you do for work? 323 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 2: How much money do you earn. 324 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 5: I work as a senior marketing engagement advisor for a 325 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 5: not for profit and I earn ninety eight thousand plus 326 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 5: or including super including super cool, very nice, nearly on 327 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 5: six figures. 328 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 2: Is that a goal that you have in your mind. 329 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just, you know, I just kind of want 330 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 5: to get there because it's so close. Now. 331 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's one of those lame things that I'm 332 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 2: not saying that people should strive for this, But I 333 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 2: remember in my head, I used to have this idea 334 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 2: that I'd be like, you know what, by the time 335 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 2: I'm thirty, I want to earn six figures. Like I 336 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 2: feel like it's so common, And when I talk to people, 337 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 2: I'm like, thirty sounds like that would be achievable, and 338 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 2: like you're like, what two grand off? So like surely 339 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 2: you're like, come on, I want to earn six figures. 340 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 2: Like it's not about having more income or lifestyle. It's 341 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 2: about like the marker, the milestone. 342 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just it's so close, and I'm really lucky. 343 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 5: I have a really great manager and a really great team, 344 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 5: and if I want to talk about things like that, 345 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,760 Speaker 5: they're very open. They were all so excited for me 346 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 5: having this interview today and such, so. 347 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 2: It's really love Oh I love this. I laugh so 348 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 2: hard though, because I wish I was in your office. 349 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:08,119 Speaker 2: The drama in your office with being hot, like the 350 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,640 Speaker 2: water cooler chat. My god, nothing exciting happens in my office. 351 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 2: So like, if you're looking for a new role, I know, 352 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,359 Speaker 2: I know that you said that you've got a really 353 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 2: good team, but like everybody in my team except for one, 354 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,520 Speaker 2: is partnered up, and like we're kind of boring. 355 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 5: Well I mean, frankly I was partnered up. 356 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know, but like maybe somebody in my 357 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,280 Speaker 2: team needs to pull a stunt like this. 358 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:36,240 Speaker 5: It's wild, and I've often said to the team, you know, 359 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 5: if I wasn't the person in this, I would think 360 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 5: this is like the most wild gossip I've ever heard 361 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:43,359 Speaker 5: in my life. 362 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm here for it. I'm here for it, so 363 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,240 Speaker 2: tell me because life has changed significantly, but it's kind 364 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 2: of like a self inflicted change. It's not oh, yep, 365 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,320 Speaker 2: I did this, but like you were on the trajectory 366 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 2: to having the two point five key. It's the big 367 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 2: white wedding, you had, the house, all of that. How 368 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,320 Speaker 2: have your money goals changed? Like do you know what 369 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,399 Speaker 2: you're currently working towards. Is it currently like you in limbo? 370 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,360 Speaker 2: Is it a mess? Is it a situation where you're like, actually, Victoria, 371 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,399 Speaker 2: I have more clarity than I've ever had in my life, 372 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 2: Like what does that look like? What are your big 373 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 2: money goals? 374 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,439 Speaker 5: It is a bit of a mess at the minute, 375 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,439 Speaker 5: and we've got a lot to work through with the 376 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 5: house still. But the intention is that my partner will 377 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 5: buy me out and I'll get my deposit back. So 378 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 5: what I would like to do is use part of 379 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 5: that to go see a financial advisor and start my 380 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,119 Speaker 5: share portfolio. 381 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 2: Now, yes, I've heard that financial advisors are good eggs. 382 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 2: If you need a recommendation, I'll give you one after 383 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:42,679 Speaker 2: the show. 384 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 5: Thank you. So I think for me getting that money back, 385 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 5: I really want to set up the kind of life 386 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:54,439 Speaker 5: where I can do what I want. So for me, 387 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 5: I think i'd really like to have a million dollar 388 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,880 Speaker 5: investment portfolio by sixty which I think is reasonable and. 389 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,600 Speaker 2: Achievable, completely achievable. 390 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,360 Speaker 5: Yeah, but also have a little bit of money aside 391 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 5: if I want to go back into property again. So yeah, 392 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,760 Speaker 5: it's definitely changed a lot, because yeah, it was you know, 393 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 5: saving up for a wedding and for kids and stuff 394 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,400 Speaker 5: like that. Now it's like, no, it's very individualized. It's 395 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 5: just me and for what I want now. So yeah, 396 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 5: it's very different. 397 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 2: I adore that, tell me, Like, it's just so fun 398 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:32,920 Speaker 2: talking to people who are like, oh, I've changed my mind. 399 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 5: So tell me. 400 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:36,640 Speaker 2: What were those feelings that you had when you were 401 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 2: saving for a wedding. Was it kind of just like 402 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 2: autopilot you were like, right, well, the next step is wedding. 403 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 2: I guess we should save. Or were you excited or 404 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,119 Speaker 2: were you I don't know, a little bit anxious about it. 405 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 2: Like when you think about that period of your life 406 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 2: where maybe you had a date night or something, you 407 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 2: sat down and you talked about this wedding savings account. 408 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 2: How did that work? 409 00:19:56,280 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 5: It's so strange to think about it now because I 410 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:05,480 Speaker 5: remember when we got engaged. There was a moment where 411 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 5: I had walked in and he was on one knee 412 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,439 Speaker 5: and I had this feeling like oh oh no. And 413 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 5: at the time I was like, no, I must just 414 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 5: be nervous. 415 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, You're like ghastly yourself. 416 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 5: Like I'm just excited. It's a big moment, you know, 417 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 5: and then when we were planning the wedding, it was 418 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 5: sort of autopilot and everyone's giving their opinions, you know 419 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,880 Speaker 5: what weddings are, like. 420 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 2: Oh do I ever? 421 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 5: And it's you know, we were very aligned as well, 422 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,479 Speaker 5: like we're very similar people and we both really wanted 423 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 5: very similar things when it came to that. But there 424 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 5: were a few times, like when I went wedding dress shopping, 425 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 5: I tried on a dress and I felt like I 426 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,920 Speaker 5: should have been more excited and I wasn't. There were 427 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,159 Speaker 5: all these little things that I was flat out ignoring 428 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 5: and in full denial. 429 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 2: But all things that like can be anxiety, right, Like 430 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 2: I have moments like this often, like where I you know, 431 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 2: let's be honest. I do a lot of speaking on stage, 432 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,040 Speaker 2: and I am so excited about that, but like I 433 00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,200 Speaker 2: have that moment of dread before I step on stage. 434 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh no. 435 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 5: Like yeah, and your stomach drops, yeah. 436 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 2: And your stomach drops and you feel a little bit 437 00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 2: sick and like you're catastrophizing what could go wrong? Like 438 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,199 Speaker 2: I totally get it, but I know on reflection that 439 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 2: that's actually anxiety talking. And it's so easy to gaslight yourself. 440 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 2: But now what is it? Like, they say, like looking 441 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 2: back as twenty twenty, So now you're like, oh, that 442 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,359 Speaker 2: maybe was an anxiety. That was actually maybe me needing 443 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,639 Speaker 2: to listen to myself a little bit more. Tell me 444 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 2: about this idea of kids you mentioned before. And I'm 445 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 2: being super pervy, so I super appreciate this. But you said, 446 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,520 Speaker 2: now I don't have to have kids, like you were like, 447 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 2: I get to choose. Was that something where you were 448 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 2: always like, all right, it's autopilot. How does this work? 449 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 2: Like what's the next thing? Or was it a you 450 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: know you're maternal, you just hadn't met the right person, 451 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 2: Like what does that look like? 452 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 5: Well, for me, I'd always been really good with kids, 453 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 5: and I love kids. They're so much fun, and I'm 454 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 5: very involved with my niece and nephew and my nieces. 455 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 5: Two sets of twins my brother had it was wild. 456 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 2: Oh that imagine, Like I've always thought that twins would 457 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 2: be really fun. So like, if I get pregnant again 458 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 2: one day and it's not twins, I'll be a little 459 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 2: bit disappointed. But imagine two back to back. 460 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,880 Speaker 5: It's pretty hectic. 461 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 2: Talk about getting kicked while you're down. 462 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 5: Oh yeah, especially when like they get to that point 463 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 5: where they can walk and then one goes in one 464 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,240 Speaker 5: direction and the other one goes in the other direction. 465 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 5: That's when you've got the issues. 466 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 2: Oh, I can't imagine, and I'm assuming, like you know, 467 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 2: obviously his money story. Also, if anybody listening has two 468 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,719 Speaker 2: sets of twins, I would love you on the podcast. 469 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:50,080 Speaker 2: I imagine going, do you know what we've got twins? 470 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 2: We've just gotten through the hard part. Honey, do you 471 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 2: want one more baby? Like a family of three? That 472 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 2: would be so nice. Let's try and then you get 473 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 2: another two? I would I like, what is this? 474 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 5: It's so fun though, because that's all they know, and 475 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 5: by default it's now all we know. 476 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful chaos. 477 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, it's so much fun though. And I love being 478 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 5: an auntie and you know, taking them to dance classes 479 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,200 Speaker 5: and soccer and all this stuff. It's so much fun. 480 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 5: And I've always loved kids, so I thought naturally that 481 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,400 Speaker 5: would mean that I would want my own. But as 482 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,719 Speaker 5: I got closer and closer to the age where I 483 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 5: thought it would be you know, reasonable and financially viable 484 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 5: to have my own, I got really critical about it. 485 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,440 Speaker 5: I read this amazing book called The Most Important Job 486 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 5: in the World by Gina Rushton, and it was really interesting, 487 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 5: but it was all about trying to work out whether 488 00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,760 Speaker 5: having kids is you know, what you want, and it 489 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 5: went through all these different kinds of topics, and I 490 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 5: think for me, I just didn't feel the need anymore. 491 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 5: I just felt like I had, you know, been so 492 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 5: involved with my nieces and nephew and my brother and 493 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 5: sister growing up, and that I didn't necessarily feel the 494 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 5: need to have my own. And it took a lot 495 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 5: of pressure off as well, because I felt like I 496 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,480 Speaker 5: needed to have so many things lined up to be 497 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 5: able to have kids, Like I needed to get as 498 00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,320 Speaker 5: far as I could in my career before I had kids, 499 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 5: and I needed to have a house, you know, and 500 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 5: I needed to have a certain amount of money saved 501 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 5: so that I could send them all to you know, 502 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 5: private schools and make sure that I had, you know, 503 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 5: enough money to deck out their room and all the stuff, 504 00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 5: and you know, make sure that they still you know, 505 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,159 Speaker 5: that we could actually afford to have them. And it 506 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 5: just it felt like such a relief when I went, 507 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 5: I don't have to do this. 508 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that is wild, like in the best possible way, 509 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 2: Like I adore that you've had this opportunity to go 510 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,479 Speaker 2: hold on, hold on is not too lo I can 511 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 2: actually change my entire circumstance, and it's wild because I 512 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,400 Speaker 2: had Obviously, I am a mum now and I adore 513 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,280 Speaker 2: it and it is my favorite thing in the entire world. 514 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,399 Speaker 2: But growing up, same as you adored kids, was surrounded 515 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 2: by them, had the best time ever. But with previous partners, 516 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 2: I just didn't feel like parenting was for me at 517 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,680 Speaker 2: that time. I just didn't know, Like I'd always wanted kids, 518 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,639 Speaker 2: like very very maternal, but wasn't sure about how that 519 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 2: would work until I met my husband and then I 520 00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,400 Speaker 2: was like, oh, I don't want kids. I want your kids, 521 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,400 Speaker 2: and I think that that it's such a weird thing 522 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 2: to say that. Now I was like, now I'm obsessed. 523 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 2: Now I'm like, how many babies am I allowed to have? 524 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:43,960 Speaker 1: Rah? 525 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:48,119 Speaker 2: Rah? But I like that it's a choice. It wasn't 526 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 2: a oh well, we got married and then the next 527 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 2: thing that we should do is like we got to 528 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: plan it out, and I just I'm obsessed with this 529 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,400 Speaker 2: idea that you got that reflection time and you were 530 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,919 Speaker 2: able to go hold up, hold up, this isn't for me, 531 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 2: But to do that it would have been really challenging 532 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 2: and really hard and as you said, really messy. I 533 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 2: have a lot of questions. We're going to go to 534 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 2: a really quick break on the flip side. We're going 535 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 2: to talk more about this potentially million dollar investment portfolio debt, 536 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 2: best in worst muddy habits, So don't go anywhere money, 537 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 2: diarrist We are back, and I'm obsessed, Like I know 538 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 2: that this is an honestly a roller coaster for you, 539 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 2: but I feel like I've been let in on the 540 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,760 Speaker 2: gossip and oh, it's just it's so juicy. So I 541 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 2: want to know you said, all right, my ex partner 542 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 2: and I were selling the property, or you're selling your 543 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 2: portion of the property to him, and you'll be brought 544 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 2: out and you're going to take that money to a 545 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 2: financial advisor. What are your thoughts on investing? Are you 546 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,360 Speaker 2: already doubling investing? Is this something that you've thought about before? 547 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 2: Have you just like completely one aided and you've gone, 548 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 2: all right, well we had proper Now I never want 549 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 2: property again. Like, talk to me about your investment journey. 550 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 5: Investing for me has been something that I've been really 551 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 5: interested in for a really long time. So when we 552 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 5: were saving up for a house, it was something that 553 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 5: I was looking into and learning about through the podcast 554 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 5: and through your book as well, and I just saw 555 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 5: it as such an opportunity and I'd always really wanted 556 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 5: to do it, but we were focused on the house, 557 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,040 Speaker 5: so that was the priority. But I had built into 558 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:33,359 Speaker 5: the budget a line for investing, so I had always 559 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:38,439 Speaker 5: planned to invest. And I think now that I have 560 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 5: this amazing opportunity to get my deposit back, I think 561 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,400 Speaker 5: it makes sense to go and speak to a financial 562 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 5: advisor and start my portfolio. And I'm actually so excited 563 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 5: to chat through with a financial advisor about what that 564 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,160 Speaker 5: looks like and what i'd be investing in. And yeah, 565 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:57,880 Speaker 5: I can't wait. 566 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,479 Speaker 2: Actually tell me how much are we to talking? What 567 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,080 Speaker 2: was your deposit and how much of that would you 568 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 2: be considering investing. 569 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,040 Speaker 5: So my deposit was about one hundred thousand dollars. 570 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you're going to have such a juicy 571 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 2: little portfolio an er, right, Yes, it's gonna be so sexy. 572 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 5: I can't wait. So I'm thinking, you know, about thirty 573 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:22,359 Speaker 5: thousand dollars to start, and then I would I'm hoping 574 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,840 Speaker 5: I'm in our chat to the financial advisor and make 575 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 5: sure that this is, you know, in line with what 576 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 5: would be best. But I'm thinking about, you know, adding 577 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 5: about five hundred dollars a fortnight to it, and yeah, 578 00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,880 Speaker 5: I think that's reasonable and achievable for me. 579 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 2: So totally. And I think the thing about investing right, 580 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,719 Speaker 2: And I just asked you about a sum of one 581 00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 2: hundred thousand dollars and you said about thirty percent invested, 582 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 2: and then you know, we'll see and I'll contribute ongoingly 583 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 2: to that portfolio. It actually goes back to your risk profile. 584 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 2: So we've talked a lot on the show about risk 585 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 2: profiles and like your tenacity to take on risk. And 586 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 2: I think it's so important to remember that that percentage 587 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 2: of what you invest will be reflective of your risk 588 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 2: profile and then on top of that of what types 589 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 2: of investments you're investing in. So like if your financial 590 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 2: advisor sits you down and says, hey, money, direst here's 591 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 2: your pie chart. You know this many is like this much, 592 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,400 Speaker 2: or your thirty percent's actually going in shares, but we 593 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 2: might actually do twenty percent in bonds. That you might go, oh, 594 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 2: I'm so fine with that because that's really stable as 595 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 2: opposed to it all being in shares or something. And 596 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,160 Speaker 2: it's just it's so fun to talk to people about this, 597 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,720 Speaker 2: And I would if I was a financial advisor right now, 598 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,240 Speaker 2: I'd be like, you, sure you don't want to work 599 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 2: with me? Like can I do it? Because you're just 600 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 2: so excited about it? And often financial advice, right we 601 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,160 Speaker 2: always get or when I was an advisor, you always 602 00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: get clients during life change, Like you don't just get 603 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 2: a client who one day woke up and said, oh, 604 00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 2: probably should finally do something about that. You get people 605 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 2: when they're planning a pregnancy. You get people when they're 606 00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 2: finally getting married. You get people when they're moving in together, 607 00:29:57,440 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 2: you get people when they're retiring. Like you have the 608 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:04,840 Speaker 2: life stages and you are a stereotypical financial advice client 609 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 2: in the best possible way. But let me know if 610 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:09,760 Speaker 2: you need a match because I don't know if you 611 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 2: know this or if anyone listening knows. But I do 612 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,240 Speaker 2: a matching service on my website where I match our 613 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 2: community with my trusted financial advisors that I've worked with. 614 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:21,560 Speaker 2: Because I'm no longer an advisor, I'm like, but you 615 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 2: still need access to good advice, and like, nobody knows 616 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:28,240 Speaker 2: what a good advisor actually looks like anymore. Anyway, I 617 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,560 Speaker 2: want to know about your partner, like your ex partner. 618 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 2: Tell me what did that look like when you said, 619 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 2: by the way, i'm out, obviously they were financially stable 620 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,440 Speaker 2: enough to buy you out. Was that relieving? Was that, 621 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: you know, anxiety inducing? What did that look like? 622 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: Like? 623 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 2: How are they doing? 624 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, he's good. We're still in contact because we obviously 625 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 5: have quite a bit to work out with the house. 626 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 5: But the initial conversation he was quite upset, and as 627 00:30:57,640 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 5: you can imagine, it was, you know, eight years of 628 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 5: our life together and it was really hard. And I said, 629 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 5: just reach out when you're ready, And it took him 630 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 5: a couple of weeks, but he reached out and we 631 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:14,480 Speaker 5: had a really open conversation about, you know, why this 632 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 5: had happened, and I tried to assure him as best 633 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 5: I could that it's not necessarily anything to do with 634 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 5: him as a person, because he is a wonderful person 635 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 5: and will hopefully make someone else really really happy. It 636 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,360 Speaker 5: just wasn't me. And he's in a really good position 637 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,040 Speaker 5: in that his mum and dad have offered to buy 638 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 5: me out so that he can then take on the house, 639 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 5: and what is I'm really pleased about it because we 640 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 5: both love the house, but there's no financially viable way 641 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 5: that I can keep the house, so I'm really pleased 642 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 5: that he gets to keep it because his intention is 643 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 5: that he will rent it out with the hope of 644 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 5: moving back in one day. So that's really good and 645 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 5: I'm really pleased that that's happened. And I think the 646 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 5: longer that this goes on, the easier it is, I 647 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 5: think for him, which is really nice. And it was 648 00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,240 Speaker 5: I felt incredibly guilty, as you can imagine. It's one 649 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 5: thing to do something for yourself, but the impact it 650 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 5: has on others is really hard to hold. What made 651 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 5: me feel a lot better was we had a conversation 652 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,040 Speaker 5: a couple of weeks back and he said, you know, 653 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,200 Speaker 5: as much as this has been really hard, I don't 654 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 5: miss you as much as I thought I would. 655 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:37,479 Speaker 2: Ouch, but also great, I know You're like, that hurts, 656 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 2: but also sure, it's really. 657 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 5: Good though, because I'm just so relieved that he's feeling 658 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 5: that way, because I think it would have been harder 659 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 5: knowing that he was still in that space of you know, 660 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:54,040 Speaker 5: wanting me, whereas he's at the point where he's like, no, 661 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,360 Speaker 5: I know this is for the best. 662 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:57,520 Speaker 2: Maybe it was two ways. Maybe it was both. If 663 00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 2: you had a really safe option and you were the 664 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,640 Speaker 2: one that pulled the trigger, and he's going to look 665 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 2: back in twelve months and be like, I'm so glad 666 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 2: she did that, even though, like, you know, I love 667 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 2: her as a person, Like I feel like that's a 668 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:11,600 Speaker 2: maybe good thing. I want to get even more pervy. 669 00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:15,040 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Can I ask about the logistics? So leaving 670 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,680 Speaker 2: a relationship for a lot of people is really hard. 671 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 2: So you came home one night after having an accidental 672 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 2: date yep, and you probably crawled into the same bed 673 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:28,160 Speaker 2: because like what else were you going to do? What happened? 674 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 1: Then? 675 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:31,200 Speaker 2: Were you like, oh, I really need to think about this, 676 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,520 Speaker 2: and you went and stayed with mum and dad or 677 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,720 Speaker 2: you moved into the spare room, or like, how did 678 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:36,960 Speaker 2: the logistics work? 679 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 5: Well? I stayed at the house until I made the decision, 680 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,520 Speaker 5: and I was just really like quite anxious, and it 681 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 5: took days for me to get to the point where 682 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,959 Speaker 5: like I could actually speak about it, because it was 683 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 5: really very self critical as a person, and I was 684 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 5: working through in my head all of the possible scenarios 685 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 5: and how it would affect everyone, not just me, and 686 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,680 Speaker 5: it was really hard. But my partner at the time 687 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 5: was really lovely and gave me a lot of space, 688 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,359 Speaker 5: and we sort of carried on as best as we 689 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 5: could and in as normal way as we could until 690 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,560 Speaker 5: I had made that decision. And I think that was 691 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,439 Speaker 5: really helpful because it was really good to you know, 692 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:32,200 Speaker 5: you're going to the same place, you're cooking, your getting ready, 693 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 5: in the same place. You don't have to like worry 694 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,080 Speaker 5: about I need to move all my stuff now and 695 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,400 Speaker 5: then I need to think about this massive life decision. 696 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,719 Speaker 5: So then once I'd made the decision, I called my 697 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,480 Speaker 5: sister and was like, oh my god, break up. 698 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 2: And I said, can you tell mom and dad? Did 699 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 2: you see that coming? 700 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 5: No? 701 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,439 Speaker 2: She was like, what the heck? 702 00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 5: Are you sure? 703 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 2: Are you drunk? 704 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 5: To her credit, she was really good. She was like, 705 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 5: oh my god, are you okay? And I was like, 706 00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:06,759 Speaker 5: I think so. And then I was like, could you 707 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,480 Speaker 5: tell mom and dad for me? Yeah? 708 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't wanted to tell. 709 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 5: Then literally she was like, yep, okay on it. So 710 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 5: she took over the logistics of like telling them and 711 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:17,840 Speaker 5: you know, making sure there was somewhere for me to 712 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 5: sleep and stuff. 713 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,719 Speaker 2: Okay, but that's exactly what I would have done, if 714 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 2: I'm being honest, I'd call my sister and be like, 715 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,279 Speaker 2: can you tell mom and dad? I don't know how. 716 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,080 Speaker 5: Yeah. Literally, it was a bit wild because about six 717 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 5: months earlier, she'd broken up with her long term partner 718 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 5: and called me and was like, can you tell mom 719 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:35,439 Speaker 5: and dad? 720 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,799 Speaker 2: And your parents are like, why can't any of you 721 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,600 Speaker 2: just talk to us? 722 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:43,839 Speaker 5: Yeah? And our parents are like, what the heck? But yeah, 723 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 5: it was a bit wild. So then I moved back 724 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 5: in with my mum and dad and that's sort of 725 00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 5: how we did it until he was ready to have 726 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 5: a chat. Yeah. 727 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:56,600 Speaker 2: Wow. So moving into this, you're obviously in a situation 728 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 2: where you're going to get your money back, you're going 729 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,319 Speaker 2: to start an investment PORTFOLI, But do you have any 730 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 2: debt at all at this point? 731 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:07,040 Speaker 5: Technically I'm still on the mortgage, so technically we still 732 00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 5: have a debt of six hundred and eighteen thousand dollars, 733 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 5: but obviously that won't be in my name for much longer. 734 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,680 Speaker 5: And then I don't have any other debt except for 735 00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 5: hextet obviously, are. 736 00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,360 Speaker 2: You paying for that right now? Like, how does that work? Yeah, 737 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 2: so that's the cost. That's your cost. 738 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 5: Exactly, that's my cost. And I said to my then partner, 739 00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,839 Speaker 5: I said, you know, I'm more than happy to pay 740 00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:30,600 Speaker 5: the mortgage up. 741 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,600 Speaker 2: Until yeah, until it's actually yours, like yeah, otherwise, yeah, no, 742 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:35,160 Speaker 2: that's fair. 743 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:38,200 Speaker 5: So as well, when it came to like avoiding any 744 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:42,000 Speaker 5: possible stamp duty issues, I said, look, I had committed 745 00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 5: to this, so you know, if we need to get 746 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 5: to the end of the year of our mortgage for 747 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 5: them to change the terms or whatever, like, I'm happy 748 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 5: to take that on and continue paying my half because 749 00:36:53,040 --> 00:36:55,759 Speaker 5: I don't want him to be in a worse off 750 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,719 Speaker 5: financial position because of a decision I made. 751 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair, it's fair. Now tell me. I feel 752 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,640 Speaker 2: like you've been the good girl for a very long time, 753 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,799 Speaker 2: which means that you probably do have some pretty good 754 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 2: money tips for us. What do you think is your 755 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 2: best money tip. 756 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 5: I am just a really consistent saver. So if I've 757 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,319 Speaker 5: got a goal, I just know how much I'm putting 758 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 5: in there, and it goes in there every fortnight. And 759 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,640 Speaker 5: that's it. I don't think about it ever again, which 760 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,759 Speaker 5: is great until I reached the goal and then it's fun. 761 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,160 Speaker 2: So how was that instilled? Did you grow up with 762 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 2: consistent saving parents? Did you just lock it away and 763 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,560 Speaker 2: that just became a habit? Like how do we do that? 764 00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 2: Because so many people that are listening are going to 765 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 2: be like, that's great money, direst unrelatable content. Because the 766 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,799 Speaker 2: second I lock it away, all I do is think 767 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,040 Speaker 2: about it, and then the second I want Uber Eats, 768 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:48,480 Speaker 2: I go in there, I pull it out and then 769 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 2: I buy my Uber Eat. How do I stop that? 770 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 5: I think I was really lucky. My nan and my 771 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,520 Speaker 5: mama both incredible savers when they have a goal, and 772 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,799 Speaker 5: they sort of instilled that in me a bit. And 773 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 5: I'm also a little anxious gal. So I love having 774 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 5: savings and seeing the money go up and knowing that 775 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,239 Speaker 5: like I've got that there and I don't have to 776 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 5: worry about it. 777 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, love, All right, now, tell me what is 778 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 2: your worst money habit? 779 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 5: I spend an awful lot of money on food. Fair 780 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,360 Speaker 5: It's just I love food and it's so much fun 781 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 5: and I see it as like a celebration and I 782 00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 5: love cooking and things like that. So and I work 783 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 5: really close to a market that has incredible food, So 784 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 5: that's been a real hit my wallet lately. 785 00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 2: Fair and I feel like, is there a fair bit 786 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 2: of comfort eating going on as well? 787 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,720 Speaker 5: Oh, one hundred percent. I think it's fair. 788 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,200 Speaker 2: Oh, there is no judgment here, like, in fact, I 789 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,520 Speaker 2: think it is warranted. In fact, is that not an 790 00:38:47,560 --> 00:38:49,040 Speaker 2: investment in your mental health? 791 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,280 Speaker 5: Exactly? Thank you? 792 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:54,239 Speaker 2: Exactly exactly, Money diarist, I feel like you've got your 793 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 2: shit together at the same time. Is it completely falling apart? 794 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 2: Is that fair to say that? Like, you know, if 795 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,200 Speaker 2: you're going to go through a situation like this, you've 796 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,080 Speaker 2: kind of got the perfect storm. Like it probably feels 797 00:39:06,239 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 2: terrible and you're like, Victoria, this is not perfect. But 798 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,759 Speaker 2: you've got an ex partner who is so kind, and 799 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,920 Speaker 2: you are amicley working it out. You're going to get 800 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,880 Speaker 2: your deposit back. All of that stuff is happening. You know, 801 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,840 Speaker 2: you're finding your feet moving forward. I mean, you're dating 802 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,560 Speaker 2: someone now, but who knows what's going to happen there. 803 00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,120 Speaker 2: It sounds like you're setting yourself up to be an 804 00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 2: independent finance girl. And I love that as well, which 805 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:32,200 Speaker 2: I think is so important. But you said at the 806 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,960 Speaker 2: start you were a B plus, but you're a really 807 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 2: good savor, So tell me a little bit more about 808 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 2: what it would take to get to like an A 809 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:43,120 Speaker 2: or an A plus, because I feel like I don't 810 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,760 Speaker 2: know what you could individually do better at this stage. 811 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 5: Well, thank you. I think the B plus is just 812 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,319 Speaker 5: reflective of the point in time that amout because I 813 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:56,320 Speaker 5: was very financially stable when I was with my partner 814 00:39:56,360 --> 00:40:00,160 Speaker 5: and we had really clear goals and really clear saving 815 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,279 Speaker 5: plans and things like that. And I think it's just 816 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 5: the upheaval of change. And I'm hoping that I'll increase 817 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 5: my grade when I go see my financial advisor and 818 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 5: get my share portfolio set up. I think that for 819 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 5: me is what will bring it up. 820 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I find it such an interesting concept, right, this 821 00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:25,200 Speaker 2: idea that you were. Let's pretend you're an A plus, right, 822 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,440 Speaker 2: like you're with your partner and you're an A plus. 823 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,880 Speaker 2: What about going through this situation makes you worse at money? 824 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,319 Speaker 5: I think it's just the not knowing of how things 825 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,200 Speaker 5: are going to play out and how long and what 826 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:38,080 Speaker 5: it looks like. 827 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,440 Speaker 2: But that doesn't mean that you're worse at money. See 828 00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:42,800 Speaker 2: I like, and I'm not trying to start an argument 829 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 2: with you, but I really am. I have done a 830 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,160 Speaker 2: lot of financial advice in my career, and some of 831 00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:48,960 Speaker 2: the people that are the best at money are the 832 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,360 Speaker 2: ones with the least amount of it, but they're just 833 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,239 Speaker 2: good at managing money, understanding what's going on. And some 834 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,520 Speaker 2: of the people that I would say are like F's 835 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 2: in my book, have the most amount of money. And 836 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:02,840 Speaker 2: I think that we so clo tie our abilities to 837 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,359 Speaker 2: how much is sitting in our bank account, like and 838 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,760 Speaker 2: I swear if you were like, oh, actually Victoria earned 839 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 2: three hundred thousand dollars, I'm making bank. I'm doing this, 840 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 2: I'm doing that. Animals a going through this situation, I 841 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,560 Speaker 2: think that you might have seen it a little bit differently. 842 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:17,480 Speaker 2: You'd be like, oh no, I'm still in a plus 843 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 2: at money, Like money is not my situation. I would 844 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:25,840 Speaker 2: challenge you to think about money not potentially being tied 845 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 2: to what you're going through, but rather a completely separate entity, 846 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:33,719 Speaker 2: because from what I'm looking at, Holy Moley, you're going 847 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 2: through this absolute roller coaster over time, but then also 848 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,360 Speaker 2: you're still managing to come out on top, and like 849 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 2: that's an a plus because how many people go through 850 00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 2: these situations. How many money diaries have we heard of 851 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 2: people going through situations and going I'm gonna have to 852 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,759 Speaker 2: start again, Like, Oh, I'm so excited for you, though, 853 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,120 Speaker 2: money diarist. This has been so pervy, like delicious. This 854 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 2: has filled my gossip cups. So thank you for that. 855 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,480 Speaker 2: I appreciate it. The type of gossip is the gossip 856 00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,719 Speaker 2: that I'm not involved in, like the type where I 857 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:07,439 Speaker 2: get to listen, I get to hear it, you tell 858 00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,640 Speaker 2: me all the pervy details, and then I say, thank 859 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 2: you so much. This has nothing to do with me, 860 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 2: but I'm glad that we got to share this journey. 861 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,760 Speaker 2: But you are just so well balanced, Like I'm sorry 862 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,400 Speaker 2: that you're going through this, But do you think it 863 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 2: would be possible if you and I do a money 864 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,680 Speaker 2: diary in twelve months to see where you are and 865 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:25,520 Speaker 2: what that looks like. 866 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,920 Speaker 5: I think the next twelve months are going to be, 867 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,640 Speaker 5: hopefully slightly less of a roller coaster, but I think 868 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,239 Speaker 5: there's going to be a lot of growth, and I'm 869 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:34,399 Speaker 5: really excited for it. 870 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,320 Speaker 2: I'm so excited for you. I'm just I'm so excited 871 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:41,520 Speaker 2: that you're so emotionally intelligent throughout this process, and that 872 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 2: you're so aware of who you are and not what 873 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,719 Speaker 2: you want. You don't know yet, but like you're so 874 00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:49,120 Speaker 2: aware that you're going to work that out. And I 875 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,000 Speaker 2: just think the next twelve months for you are going 876 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,920 Speaker 2: to be pivotal and that is so exciting. And I'm 877 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,960 Speaker 2: glad that we have you in our community and that 878 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 2: you wanted to share your story because do you know what, 879 00:42:58,280 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 2: there are probably some people that listening to this and 880 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,600 Speaker 2: they're a little bit confronted because they're like, oh, no, 881 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:05,960 Speaker 2: this is me about to. 882 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 5: Go on a week spiral. 883 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's okay. We have to go through what 884 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:11,360 Speaker 2: we grow through. 885 00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:15,160 Speaker 5: Right Exactly. I really wanted to share while I was 886 00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,759 Speaker 5: in the middle of the storm because I think, you know, 887 00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,440 Speaker 5: we get both sides of it, and I just wanted 888 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,040 Speaker 5: people to know that as much as it's hard, it's 889 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:25,399 Speaker 5: definitely worth it. Yeah. 890 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,719 Speaker 2: No, I love it. I feel like it's an emotional 891 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,839 Speaker 2: time and the Taylor Swift quote I cry a lot, 892 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,879 Speaker 2: but I am so productive makes a lot of sense 893 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:37,759 Speaker 2: right now. Thank you so much, money, Darst. It has 894 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:46,560 Speaker 2: been a pleasure. Did buy shared on She's on the Money? 895 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:50,400 Speaker 2: Is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. 896 00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:54,160 Speaker 2: She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and 897 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or 898 00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:00,320 Speaker 2: financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, 899 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,360 Speaker 2: read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored 900 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 2: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money 901 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 2: are authorized representatives of money sherper P T y L 902 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,040 Speaker 2: t D A b N three two one six four 903 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 2: nine two seven seven zero eight a F s L 904 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 2: four five one two eight nine