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Speaker 1: Ma'm always always said be careful.

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Speaker 2: Love those alum boys.

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Speaker 3: A little bell use your head.

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Speaker 2: They will tear you up like a paper too.

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Speaker 3: Oh no no no, yeah yeah yeah yeah, oh no

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Speaker 3: no no, Then it's knowledge you darling. Anyway, it's a

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Speaker 3: leafl foughts that'll bring you down shrying to get your

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Speaker 3: tipsy like God drinks love drunk girl.

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Speaker 4: Oh hi, I'm Amanda and I'm rom Me. Welcome to

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Speaker 4: It's it's layered.

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Speaker 1: We're in a long distance friendship that started nearly twenty

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Speaker 1: years ago when we were in high school.

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Speaker 4: We'll be talking about all things life, love, family, anything

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Speaker 4: and everything else under the sun.

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Speaker 1: Delve deeper with us because in life, you know, Jimmette Jeanette,

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Speaker 1: my layers, Yeah, stacked down, stacked.

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Speaker 2: How are you? How are you since you last spoke?

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Speaker 1: My love? Oh I'm good. I'm very good. Caius. This

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Speaker 1: season to be jolly fa la la la la. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: as you can see, I'm definitely in the Christmas spirit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I love it. Look at a little Teddy with Redier.

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Speaker 1: Getting in this spirit. I'm laughing at how like we

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Speaker 1: literally look like we're on different sides of the world

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Speaker 1: because you look all beautiful summary and just like vibrant.

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Speaker 1: I love your turban with the both.

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Speaker 4: So cute, so thank you, thank you so much. But

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Speaker 4: it looks like deceiving because girl.

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Speaker 1: In the hot.

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Speaker 4: One not even property because it's hot, it's hot.

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Speaker 1: I'm with you, I'm doing I'm doing a smoothie and

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Speaker 1: a hot drink like together.

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Speaker 2: So okay, balance balance, Wow and me? What a season?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's wild to think we actually made it through

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Speaker 1: a season. I don't think we knew if we were

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Speaker 1: going to make it through, but we did so.

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Speaker 4: I actually think after the first episode we're just like, what.

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Speaker 2: What are we doing?

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Speaker 1: Literally, like what did we get ourselves into? But it's

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Speaker 1: been great, like the feedback and the love. Really just

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Speaker 1: thank you to everybody who's listened, who's taken time out,

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Speaker 1: who's shared with us their thoughts, and it's been fun.

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Speaker 1: I must say, it's been a lot of fun. We

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Speaker 1: definitely didn't know what we're doing stepping into it, but

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Speaker 1: here we are.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and like you and people like why are podcast?

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Speaker 2: Why are you guys?

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Speaker 1: Why this?

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Speaker 4: Were like we're just doing it, Like yeah, it's plain.

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Speaker 4: I think people always think like you have to. I

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Speaker 4: suppose if you're delving deeper on other topics. They think

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Speaker 4: you'll delve deeper on why. Yes, it's not like the

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Speaker 4: wife felt like why not, But then when we actually started,

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Speaker 4: it was like, okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly why you know, but it was great, that's

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Speaker 1: so exciting, and we're excited for this episode, Amanda. What

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Speaker 1: are we going to be doing today? What are we

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Speaker 1: going to be talking about? So people know?

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Speaker 4: So obviously we had such like great feedback on our podcast,

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Speaker 4: like from people who just wanted to comment, and all

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Speaker 4: the things were dug deeper on.

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Speaker 2: People want to ask.

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Speaker 4: Us questions on what we think, people who were like

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Speaker 4: asking us questions on more of what we talked about.

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Speaker 2: It was just the feedback every.

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Speaker 4: Single after every single episode was just so so inspiring.

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Speaker 2: Because it was like, Okay, this is why we're doing this.

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Speaker 2: You know, we don't know why, but this is why.

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Speaker 4: So I think the best way to do this is

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Speaker 4: probably just to try. We obviously can't get you every

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Speaker 4: single feedback and comment we were given, but we're going

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Speaker 4: to try do the major ones, revisit and try a

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Speaker 4: little bit deeper time allowing to just reflect on the season.

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Speaker 1: Totally exciting ready, I think so we'll see, we'll see.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so we're obviously dating was a huge episode. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: the opinions on dating was strong.

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Speaker 1: They came too hot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they really did.

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Speaker 4: So I would have to say this one was asked

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Speaker 4: by Andrew. Shout out to Andrew.

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Speaker 1: Is it like.

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Speaker 2: But what was it like for you dating in the

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Speaker 2: church room being.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, again, you always go straight for the kill.

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Speaker 1: You never like warm up a little, dell deep right

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Speaker 1: on him. It was trash. I think that's to summarizes

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Speaker 1: dating in the church was really trash. And I think

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Speaker 1: there's this perception that when you date in the church

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Speaker 1: it's wholesome and healthy because the assumption is y'all are

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Speaker 1: at church doing God's work, you know, seeking Jesus, getting

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Speaker 1: your heart right with the Lord and Savior. But it's

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Speaker 1: not always the case. I think they you tend to

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Speaker 1: have your guard down a bit more because you think

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Speaker 1: it is a safe space. That was my experience, and

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Speaker 1: you feel like you've formed a community a kinmanship. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: it cut throat. It's also cutthroat. That's the other thing

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Speaker 1: because typically in the church and leads, in my experience,

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Speaker 1: there are more women than men in the church, so

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Speaker 1: it's like competitive, competitive vying for the attention of you know, guys,

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Speaker 1: and it's dogg eat dog. And obviously guys know they're

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Speaker 1: in the position of power. So when you know you

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Speaker 1: got actions, what are you gonna do? You're go and

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Speaker 1: play with them options. I mean, you're not gonna just

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Speaker 1: be like sure, you know, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So there's definitely that. There's also a lot of pre

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Speaker 1: and I think why it gets complex toos, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of pressure, especially in the church, when it comes

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Speaker 1: to dating, about being found courtship, you know, and then

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Speaker 1: heading towards marriage and so you know, you really people

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Speaker 1: want to find that relationship and that's settled down type

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Speaker 1: of thing, and so there's that pressure. So you're not

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Speaker 1: really allowed to just have fun. So then people take

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Speaker 1: it very seriously. And so if one party is taking

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Speaker 1: it seriously, the other party is like, hey, I got options,

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Speaker 1: I'm you know, playing around. There's gonna be you know,

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Speaker 1: heartbreak and heartache in that because you're looking at it like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to look at it, you know, from a

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Speaker 1: serious lens, and if someone isn't, it gets tricky. Whereas

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Speaker 1: I feel like in the world, you know you kind

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Speaker 1: of are more honest and open, like I'm here for this,

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Speaker 1: I'm not here for that, like you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So that's definitely part of it. It's incestuous, I feel,

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Speaker 1: because like you'll be one person, will be with someone

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Speaker 1: and then hop on to the other person and then

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Speaker 1: you know, it's just a little bit incestuous and it

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Speaker 1: can be unhealthy. So Andrew, I hope I answered your question.

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Speaker 4: When it comes to He's like, oh, that'd be a note,

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Speaker 4: but I feel like.

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Speaker 1: Just do it. Well, I don't know. I mean, obviously

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Speaker 1: haven't been to a lot of churches, but some churches

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Speaker 1: are a little more this hectic, you know. You know,

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Speaker 1: I've grown up in the Seventh day Adventist Church, which

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Speaker 1: is very it's a lot more you know, restrict structure

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Speaker 1: for sure, So maybe another churches is different. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I say proceeds caution and eyes wide open and do

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Speaker 1: not let do not be fooled anyway, Yes, Amanda. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so my question for you, Amanda A question asked by

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Speaker 1: Munya what a do I don't know why I said

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Speaker 1: brov like that, but yeah, yeah, because he's in London,

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Speaker 1: man's not hot. I just had to say that anyway.

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Speaker 1: His question was was it worse for boys being sidelined

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Speaker 1: in high school than girls? That's his question. So how

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Speaker 1: do you think you're gonna answer this? What?

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Speaker 4: Well, I'm not a boy, so I don't think I

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Speaker 4: can do it the ultimate justice, But judge.

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Speaker 1: Boy, that's how you're gonna answer it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well I thought you were gonna do Sierra like

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Speaker 4: like a boy.

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Speaker 1: Okay, sorry lyrics, Sorry.

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Speaker 4: But like, yeah, I'm just gonna go from like my

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Speaker 4: brother's feedback obviously, and friends feedback, and what I saw

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Speaker 4: outwardly looking in, I think boys do have it the

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Speaker 4: same for sure, Like you know, you have to be

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Speaker 4: the jock, you have to be the rugby player, you

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Speaker 4: have to be the smart one, you have to be

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Speaker 4: the so of course those pressures are always But because

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Speaker 4: the construct in the zim dating world is patriarchal right,

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Speaker 4: the guy has to approach the girls. So even though

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Speaker 4: they had the same pressures vice versa that we would have,

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Speaker 4: they still had to make the decision to like almost

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Speaker 4: quote unquote.

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Speaker 2: Man up and asked the girl. So I felt like

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Speaker 2: the boar was still always in their court. So that

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Speaker 2: you're a dorky kid or.

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Speaker 4: A nerd or and shout out to nerds and more

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Speaker 4: for that and you know, so like there's still the

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Speaker 4: ball was in your court. But then I found that

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Speaker 4: in my experience, the dogs, the jocks, the everyone wanted

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Speaker 4: still wanted just the hot girls. So like it's not

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Speaker 4: as if so the sideline is a bit like hmmm,

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know, do you think basically in the

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Speaker 1: same way like guys saw it, in the same way

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Speaker 1: that girls were all going for the jocks the do

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean?

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Speaker 4: Like what you mean like they'll probably think but because

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Speaker 4: you're also but you know, truly girls manage, even at

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Speaker 4: that young age, to see through good heart, like if

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Speaker 4: you really pursue her, you're really with your friend, you're

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Speaker 4: you know, maybe they'll get.

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Speaker 2: Friend zoned that I can, but it.

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Speaker 4: Wouldn't be yeah, but it wouldn't be total obliteration of

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Speaker 4: I don't know who you are, which it was for

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Speaker 4: a lot of the girls were not so popular, you know.

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Speaker 4: So then like for the school dancers, as we talked about,

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Speaker 4: you will get in high school, the same girl getting

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Speaker 4: invited by the five boys. You're like, guys, make it

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Speaker 4: make sense, like you know, so I don't know, I

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Speaker 4: don't know. I feel like the the system, the way

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Speaker 4: it's set up, feeds into boys being ending up okay much.

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Speaker 2: But I think maybe sorry when I'm trying to feel

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Speaker 2: sorry for you.

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Speaker 4: But but I think though you're trying to get.

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Speaker 1: Hurt more or I feel like boys get hurt more

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Speaker 1: because they get the no, the rejection because so it

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Speaker 1: probably of course it's worse in that way. Yeah type

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Speaker 1: of thing. Yeah, okay, okay, stya.

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Speaker 4: And also like a beauty ideals thing, right, so everyone

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Speaker 4: if that particular set subset of girls is what when

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Speaker 4: your fourteen fifteen think is hot, of course all of

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Speaker 4: you are going to want it. There only later on

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Speaker 4: in life where you start to realize there's more than

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Speaker 4: looks in life.

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Speaker 1: I get you, I get you.

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Speaker 2: Womans are raging.

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Speaker 4: How would you say, speaking on that, going into more

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Speaker 4: about our culture, what would you say has been the

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Speaker 4: stigma of not following or meeting the expectations in our culture?

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Speaker 4: So we're like now in our early thirties, by now

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Speaker 4: it should have been married, had at least three or

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Speaker 4: four kids. You know, what do you feel that about

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Speaker 4: being quote unquote a few steps behind.

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Speaker 2: With all those goalposts, so to speak.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I think it's a very real pressure and

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Speaker 1: a very real expectation that you're supposed to after you

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Speaker 1: finish school, have somehow have found a boyfriend when you're

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Speaker 1: not supposed to be dating when you're in school, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like that kind of like you.

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Speaker 4: Don't know boys until you get married, Yes, exactly, you know,

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Speaker 4: get married in your twenties.

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Speaker 1: There's a lot of pressure. I think a lot of

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Speaker 1: us feel it, like, hey, you know so and so

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Speaker 1: I was getting married. Yeah, we just think when well

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Speaker 1: our child like yeah, for sure. And there is a

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Speaker 1: lot of stigma about what's wrong with you girls if

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Speaker 1: you're not, Like there's a lot of like why aren't

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Speaker 1: you married, What's wrong with your generation? What's wrong with you?

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Speaker 1: You're too picky? You know, kind of like just you know,

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Speaker 1: find someone and make it work. And I think when

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Speaker 1: you don't follow those lines and as you said, meet

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Speaker 1: those target points, it is difficult. And I think you

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Speaker 1: have to be truly sure in what you want and

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Speaker 1: understand what marriage or partnership or life looks like for

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Speaker 1: yourself so you're able to say this is what I

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Speaker 1: want and this is what I'm looking for I'm not

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Speaker 1: just going to go for anything that comes my way

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Speaker 1: that kind of thing. But it's tough. It's tough because

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Speaker 1: I feel, and I'm speaking from a woman's perspective, it

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Speaker 1: comes with a lot of there's something wrong with you,

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Speaker 1: whereas with I don't. I'm not sure it feels the

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Speaker 1: same way with men. It's kind of like they have

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Speaker 1: the choice and they'll do it when they feel like it.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense, So yeah, it's the stigma is there.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like it's changing because obviously we are

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Speaker 1: going to university. It's not like our parents' generation, where

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Speaker 1: you know, they got married super young. We're trying to

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Speaker 1: build careers. Life is a little bit different. The trajectory

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Speaker 1: is different, but certain things are still resisted, like if

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Speaker 1: you choose to stay in a partnership and not get married,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you know, our family name through the gutta,

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Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that. So there's still a long

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Speaker 1: way to go. But I think and some people do

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Speaker 1: conform because at the end of the day, it's like

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Speaker 1: are you able to live with that pressure or not?

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Speaker 1: Or it's tough. I think it's very tough. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot of stigma if you don't follow the timelines.

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Speaker 4: And even some people who do follow the timelines might

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Speaker 4: not be always conforming.

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Speaker 2: It might just.

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Speaker 1: Work out that way for sure, exactly exactly. So it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a bit of both. Mallet like it's so late

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Speaker 1: we could like have a whole episode on that. And

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Speaker 1: then we got a message from Gwen. Shout out to

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Speaker 1: Gwen who was asking about Black Lives Matter handling or

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Speaker 1: dealing with Black Lives Matter and movements and the likes

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Speaker 1: whilst being an interration relationships. How do you what are

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Speaker 1: you coming from?

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Speaker 2: You know what I feel like?

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Speaker 4: Black lives in my specific in my marriage, the concept

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Speaker 4: of race and all the issues in justices we face

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Speaker 4: has always been a conversation we have. So it wasn't

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Speaker 4: as if like all of a sudden we're quite all

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Speaker 4: of a sudden we're talking about like it wasn't like

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Speaker 4: that at all.

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Speaker 2: So with my with my.

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Speaker 4: Husband, definitely it almost felt like now we were just

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Speaker 4: delving deeper. But it's as if we just as we

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Speaker 4: had maybe like a month before or two months before,

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Speaker 4: because I mean, he's his eyes have been very much

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Speaker 4: open dating me, seeing me being followed in a store

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Speaker 4: when I'm more casual, like I'm not going to buy anything,

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Speaker 4: seeing like going to a restaurant when we're on a

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Speaker 4: date and they think we're not together seeing you know

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Speaker 4: how having people coming to ask for the bill, and

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Speaker 4: if it's like I'm paying or I'm treating him, they

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Speaker 4: like still give a bill to him.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, like, these.

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Speaker 4: Are the injustices you face and the realities you face.

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Speaker 4: When you're an inter it's more you see it more often.

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Speaker 4: So I don't think between him and I we had

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Speaker 4: too much to like you know, reveal to each other.

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Speaker 2: But I think with his.

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Speaker 4: Family and you would know this might take to Louisa.

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Speaker 4: She was definitely like, oh my god, what's happening. And

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Speaker 4: she's such a support of Ally, but I think this

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Speaker 4: woke her up.

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Speaker 1: Like I think this was just like whoa wow.

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Speaker 4: So I think for family, the people who perhaps hadn't

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Speaker 4: really considered how hard you can sometimes or maybe considerate but.

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Speaker 2: Not always really like thinking it through this. Yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was eye opening. Of course.

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Speaker 4: You know, the question of white privilege is not always

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Speaker 4: associated with money. We just want to be treated equal,

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Speaker 4: Like we're not even going into money and economics and

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Speaker 4: colonialness them and all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: We're just talking about our everyday lives.

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Speaker 4: Like if I get stopped by the cops, I shouldn't

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Speaker 4: have my heart beating out of my chest. Yeah, I

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Speaker 4: should just think I'm going to get a fair go,

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Speaker 4: a fair chance to defend myself if I've done something wrong,

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Speaker 4: or to report it if someone else has done something

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Speaker 4: wrong to me.

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Speaker 2: So I think So, I think.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, and I can't.

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Speaker 4: Obviously speak for every single interracial relationship out there, but

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Speaker 4: I think it's been quite.

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Speaker 2: Weird to be with someone of a different rice.

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Speaker 1: If you never ever speak about it one hundred percent, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's probably it's you.

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Speaker 2: Literally, you have to.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know how to help. I mean, if

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Speaker 1: you want to genuinely understand each other and your cultures

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Speaker 1: and where you come from, you're gonna have to. And

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Speaker 1: as you said, you know, they will see for themselves

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Speaker 1: and things will be review revealed in time, you know,

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Speaker 1: let alone, like you know, coming from different countries first

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Speaker 1: of all, Third World or whatever, and that thing of

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Speaker 1: them seeing how you are treated in certain spaces. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot. But you know, I think your partner

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Speaker 1: really has to be an ally for sure, otherwise what's

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Speaker 1: going on? Like what's going on?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and sometimes hard conversations I had, like with family

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Speaker 4: members on both sides, you know. So yeah, you just

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Speaker 4: always almost always on the ready for that kind of

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Speaker 4: conversation or something something is happening at some point, and

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Speaker 4: then you have to side on the severity of it,

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Speaker 4: like do you say.

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Speaker 2: Something, do you let it go?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, they have a conversation the other day.

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Speaker 4: So it's like, yeah, you always are constantly like grading

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Speaker 4: and evaluating situations.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's tough. It's layered, and I find them whether

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Speaker 1: they're like in my personal experience when you know, his

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Speaker 1: eyes were truly open and like I mean he was

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Speaker 1: always aware but seeing the Black Lives Matter movement and

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Speaker 1: the more we talked about it, and and I thought

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Speaker 1: he would be researching more than I or he would,

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Speaker 1: you know. And you want someone who wants to read

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Speaker 1: up on and wants to yeah, yeah, you know, and

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Speaker 1: it's conscious of it, and even as family being conscious

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Speaker 1: of how they treat you, you know, as a black member,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know what I mean. Like this.

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Speaker 4: It started early, I mean yeah, and of course, like

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Speaker 4: one major thing that came out.

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Speaker 2: Of all of this is we are not here to teach.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 4: Now Google is there my friend, just like literally, And

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Speaker 4: I feel like that was that was a great relief

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Speaker 4: off my shoulders as well, because a lot of family

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Speaker 4: members were who were reaching out weren't expecting me to

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Speaker 4: then explain it to them. Yes, you know, because this

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Speaker 4: was so blatant, so so bad to have happened. I mean,

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Speaker 4: it's being happening. It probably will continue to happen sadly

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Speaker 4: until actual reforms are done. So I feel like people

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Speaker 4: also took that own ownership over the situation, Like I've

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Speaker 4: been turning a blind eye, but I can't anymore.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it really helps them realize, as you said,

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Speaker 1: their privilege and being like And the thing is, it's

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Speaker 1: not only the Black Lives Matter movement that makes it obvious.

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Speaker 1: It's just when you're navigating, as you said, the world

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Speaker 1: and the spaces, they start, you know, seeing you and

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Speaker 1: seeing how you are seeing you know, for example, for me,

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Speaker 1: for us, it would be like the looks you know,

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Speaker 1: I would get when we're walking together, like things like that,

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Speaker 1: and it's you can't avoid it. If you're going to

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Speaker 1: be in an inter racial relationship, there's no.

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Speaker 2: Big skin for sure.

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Speaker 4: Do you feel like you ever have to tone down

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Speaker 4: or not live up to the stereotype.

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Speaker 2: Of an be black woman And this was asked by Anna.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Anna, thanks for your question. I totally have to

381
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Speaker 1: tone down. I literally just had an experience this past week.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you're just not having like your typical

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Speaker 1: chirpy self day, the question is like, oh, what's wrong

384
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Speaker 1: with you? You know what I mean?

385
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Speaker 5: Not even like, oh, hope you have a great better day,

386
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Speaker 5: and you know what I mean, just like not being

387
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Speaker 5: able to have a day where you're not on, where

388
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Speaker 5: you're not like positive, chirpy, and you know, and yeah,

389
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Speaker 5: it's definitely is.

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Speaker 1: You are constantly aware having to word, think of how

391
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Speaker 1: you explain something word yourself, even if you're not happy

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Speaker 1: with something, always doing the Hamburger methods, you know, where

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Speaker 1: it's like cushioned, always being like no, you're fine, or

394
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Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that. It's exhausting. And personally, I'm

395
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Speaker 1: not someone who likes being angry, So when I am angry,

396
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: like my buttons have really been pressed. So having to

397
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Speaker 1: manage someone else's feelings when you are feeling so unlike

398
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Speaker 1: like when I get angry, it feels abnormal to me.

399
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Speaker 1: It's not normal to me, So now I'm having to

400
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: manage these abnormal feelings and your feelings about how you've

401
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: made me feel like. It's just a lot exhausting. It's

402
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 1: exhausting and constantly having to push through the stereotypes of

403
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Speaker 1: a black woman, not just about being angry, but like

404
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 1: where you come from. Oh you know, you don't live

405
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Speaker 1: in a village. Oh you've traveled, oh you know, all

406
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. It's just exhausting, really it is.

407
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 1: But it's power for the course when you engage with

408
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Speaker 1: people you know who are not from the same background

409
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Speaker 1: as you, and all I can anna is it's very exhausting.

410
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Speaker 1: I really get over it, to be honest, Like I

411
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Speaker 1: don't know a man that's just me, but like someone yeah,

412
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: like I know, yeah, I know.

413
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Speaker 2: And living in the sport, I just magnified.

414
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, because like at.

415
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Speaker 4: Home, if I'm angry, I'm angry, Like there's no here

416
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 4: you're being angry and they can realize.

417
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 2: The tones and the levels to it, whereas yeah, sometimes.

418
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Speaker 4: I feel like if I even raise my voice in age,

419
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Speaker 4: if I even express any sort of disdain over anything,

420
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Speaker 4: it's like, oh, you're being sassy.

421
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: That's sassy someone else.

422
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,719
Speaker 4: H But if someone else does it, you know, it's like,

423
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 4: oh okay, it's expressing themselves.

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Speaker 2: It's like that's the exact same energy, you know. So

425
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Speaker 2: I feel like all these like.

426
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Speaker 4: African American movies with the sassy girl and probably like

427
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 4: that that's an injustice because you're fighting against that. Because

428
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 4: a lot of times when I'm angry, Pore like go girl,

429
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 4: I'm like, why why are saying God girl, like I'm

430
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,160
Speaker 4: not and from America?

431
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 2: What what can you stop with the fingers? Nothing? You know,

432
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 2: So I'm not your girl.

433
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,399
Speaker 1: I'm not your sister either, Like yeah, yeah, it's so

434
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 1: it's very frustrating.

435
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 2: And then over the.

436
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 6: Next because maybe us feel a way I'm already feeling away.

437
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 1: A question from Christine DJ Kicks, who we've mentioned before

438
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Uh, he asks how important is love?

439
00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 1: Is it over emphasized? Amanda, do another one?

440
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 2: Another one?

441
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 4: Over emphasized with the easier one. Yes, no one can

442
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 4: deny that it's over emphasized, romanticized to the max, but

443
00:25:55,320 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 4: in commercialized, very commercialized. I mean Hollmark is like built

444
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 4: on this. So yeah, Valentine's Day is built on this,

445
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,959
Speaker 4: So yeah, is it over emphasized for sure? Is it

446
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 4: important for me personally? I think yes, But it's part

447
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 4: of a puzzle, like it's.

448
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,159
Speaker 2: Not the only important piece.

449
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,399
Speaker 4: But it might be like like you know, you're doing

450
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 4: a puzzle, it might be like quite a big chunk

451
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 4: of the puzzle or like the you know, like you

452
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 4: can do a puzzle with.

453
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 2: Like a nice you know, nice skyline, and.

454
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 4: Then maybe there's like a little there's a little thing

455
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 4: picture I'm int to see and like that's like the

456
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 4: important part, but everything else still holds it together. And

457
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:43,159
Speaker 4: some people say, well, with arranged marriages, love can come later,

458
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,439
Speaker 4: and I do agree that.

459
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: Then then that way, to me, that feels like the opposite.

460
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 4: Like you start a puzzle from all the outside, you

461
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,880
Speaker 4: do the insight first and go out and everyone approaches

462
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 4: it differently, you know. So I feel like that's the

463
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 4: same with love. It is important because it does and

464
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 4: it just ties everything together for me, and then it

465
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 4: gives you the reason why you're fighting. I was gonna say,

466
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 4: it's just the thing, like why why bother? Like I mean,

467
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 4: don't even have to be romantic about it, like even

468
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,679
Speaker 4: platonic love, you like get You can get into a

469
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 4: fight with your friend and they can kiss you off,

470
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,959
Speaker 4: and you can choose to just close the door and

471
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 4: move on, or you can choose to go, hey, actually,

472
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 4: what's happening? What's and the thing that makes you think, hey,

473
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 4: what's happening? The thing that makes you care?

474
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 2: Is that love aspect?

475
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: Totally on? And can I ask to add on to

476
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,439
Speaker 1: a question, what do you think the other pieces of

477
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: the puzzle would be aside from love? Because you're saying

478
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 1: why why you do me like that? Because we need

479
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 1: to know, the people want to know, we have questions.

480
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 4: Well, I'm guessing this was geared toward marriage, right, I mean,

481
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 4: even not obviously values having the same values, it is

482
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 4: really important having the same moral compass in a way,

483
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 4: not exactly the same, but definitely aligned. Obviously, if it's

484
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 4: to do with marriage, then you're going to be looking

485
00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 4: at familial connections as well. Really you can say it's

486
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,320
Speaker 4: me against the world, with me and my man against

487
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 4: the world.

488
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 2: Out Unfortunately, in most constructs that doesn't work.

489
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 4: You have to have some sort of common commonalities. So

490
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 4: if you like you know he's having the same interests,

491
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 4: having the same things you like doing, you know, growing together.

492
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,640
Speaker 2: All those things are very important.

493
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 4: I mean, you're not meant to meet someone who's exactly

494
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 4: like you, more meant to learn things and from each other.

495
00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 4: But you also have similar interests at the same time,

496
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 4: so you can enjoy those things together.

497
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 1: Yes, all of that for sure for sure.

498
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 4: And sexual compatibility, but we'll talk about that.

499
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: I love that. I just like slip that and like, yeah,

500
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: this topic, don't worry mm hmmm, all right. So we

501
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: hope that helped and helped answer the question. And I

502
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: agree for sure. Over over emphasized for sure, but still

503
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: important I think too. If I may just jump in here,

504
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: is that what is love? And how do we define it?

505
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: That's also the very important thing to do because I

506
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 1: think we missed it. We missed the mark sometimes because

507
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: our definitions aren't aligned or it's just a little bit.

508
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 1: So what is the What does love mean to you?

509
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: DJ kicks? That's what I would ask, Yeah.

510
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 2: For sure, what does it look like to you?

511
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 4: So rumby talking about love and Valentines Valentines at school, bruh,

512
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 4: people who were like, what the hell what did.

513
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 2: You just say? So this was obviously asking my husband myself.

514
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 4: He was like, say what now about Valentine's in high school,

515
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 4: he thought that was so traumatic, like to all gather

516
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 4: and wait.

517
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 2: For like shout outs and roses. Yeah yeah at such.

518
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 4: A young age impueshionable age, but yeah, wun't be what

519
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 4: the hell explain about this?

520
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,040
Speaker 1: Please honestly, Like, you know, when you're young and you

521
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 1: can't articulate the feeling the sentiments you have about something.

522
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: Myself's reaction is the feeling and the react like literally

523
00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: you inside you're like it's like you know, and like

524
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:42,040
Speaker 1: it makes you what's wrong with me? Again? Love is material?

525
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: You start getting that issue like all this, Like I

526
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: understand the gesture, but I think the fact that you

527
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: all have to go into a hole for these roses

528
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 1: and flowers and things to be presented in the presence

529
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: of everybody, and those withour are made to feel like,

530
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 1: oh well, no one loves.

531
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: You and very medical.

532
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: By the way, it's a mind if it really messes

533
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: you up, and I think it really sets the bar. Yeah,

534
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: it's a little twisted, I'll put it that way. I'm

535
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: glad I managed to come out of there with my

536
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: but it will punch at your self esteem. It will,

537
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:29,400
Speaker 1: you know, make you feel a certain way if you're

538
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: not on the receiving end. And then at the same time,

539
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: if you're on the receiving end of all these gifts

540
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: and these like extravagant presence on Valentine's Day, it might

541
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: make you feel like chasing a relationship that looks good

542
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: or do you know what I mean? So it has

543
00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: negative connotation on book. It's not just for those who

544
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 1: didn't receive, but I think too for those who got.

545
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, yeah, it's a very and the.

546
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 4: Bars right, so you have to keep going and sitting

547
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 4: higher and higher. Yeah, because you can't just get one rose.

548
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 2: Last year you just got one rose.

549
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: So it's literally I feel like almost like the haves

550
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: and have not at like high school level or like

551
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,960
Speaker 1: you know, the joneses, like you know what I mean,

552
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: Like that sets that at such a young age. So yeah,

553
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 1: I don't know matter what are your thought, I just yeah.

554
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 4: I think I think this one, let's just skip, is traumatic,

555
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:33,479
Speaker 4: like can we please? Like I just I literally remember,

556
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 4: I think to be honest with you for me personally,

557
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 4: like actually on a c Brock which is home to

558
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 4: Onewards was good because I had made friends, so I

559
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 4: had you I had other girls and we were supporting

560
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 4: each other.

561
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: It literally is your support network.

562
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 4: Like I feel like with my girls at high school,

563
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,719
Speaker 4: I might not talk to you every single day, but

564
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 4: if it's like let's meet up for lunch, let's have

565
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 4: a coffee, let's have a Kiki, and I'm there, I'm

566
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 4: not keen to. But then I feel like my first year,

567
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:05,720
Speaker 4: so I was like, you start school in January.

568
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,520
Speaker 1: Oh, I feel like.

569
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 2: So Like it was just so and I'd never experienced

570
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,719
Speaker 2: it in my life. It was so and I remember

571
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: crying my mom.

572
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 4: I remember calling her on the payphone and I was like,

573
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,280
Speaker 4: didn't you know it was Valentine's And like you didn't

574
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 4: plan for me?

575
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 1: Like what is this?

576
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: She's like, what are you talking about?

577
00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: Child?

578
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,120
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

579
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 4: But like, I just felt like because we had other

580
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 4: kids who went to the junior school, like spring Vale House,

581
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 4: which is the junior school for being House, they do it, true, yes,

582
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 4: they do it at that junior school as well, which

583
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 4: is mad another wild but then I felt like they

584
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 4: already kind of new, but for the rest of us

585
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 4: were probably like lost.

586
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 2: And even my brother was like had gone to this

587
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 2: high school. So I was like you would have known like, hello,

588
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 2: you plan for me, you don't love me.

589
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 4: So I definitely know had that effect because that was

590
00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 4: my immediate response, like unloved, because when I was sitting there,

591
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 4: on some level, I was like hoping.

592
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 2: My mom and my brother somebody, yeah, had come through.

593
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 4: But this is all a surprise to me, Like okay,

594
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 4: we're cutting prep for going, Okay, okay, we're sitting Okay.

595
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 2: So I just thought it's a lot going with the

596
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 2: same someone would maybe.

597
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 1: Like, okay, yeah, let's that's a lot. Traums. That's that's

598
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 1: the response to that. Yeah, it's a lot. So then

599
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: the next question, now moving on to family, we talked

600
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 1: about family. We're two part episode. If you haven't listened

601
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: to that, you should because we dealt Amanda. How do

602
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 1: you navigate sending money home for being the eighth It.

603
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 4: Sounds like a call ox, Yeah, yeah, we do.

604
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 2: We do you send money home loyal loyal, Western Union

605
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 2: and clients.

606
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 4: But I'm I navigated the best way I can. There's

607
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:07,920
Speaker 4: no one size fits all. There's no things happen in

608
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 4: the family.

609
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 1: You know.

610
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,839
Speaker 4: I had both of my grandma's from both sides pass

611
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 4: away whilst I was here in Australia. Obviously, then you're

612
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 4: deciding do you go, do you stay? Do you send

613
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 4: the money instead of you going, because like the annoying

614
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 4: thing with the economy and ZIM is if I had gone,

615
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,359
Speaker 4: so I pay for my ticket, I get there, then

616
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,720
Speaker 4: obviously I help out with the funeral, and then people

617
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:37,360
Speaker 4: still expect me to not come empty handles. So it's like,

618
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 4: then this expense and I'm sorry to equate it to money,

619
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:45,279
Speaker 4: it becomes it triples and doubles, you know. So like

620
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 4: it's one of those things where you're like, Okay, if

621
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 4: I just send that ticket price home, that's probably better,

622
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 4: you know, if I.

623
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 2: Just take care of this. So it's a lot.

624
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 4: Of you just have to be strong on your own.

625
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,840
Speaker 4: You're navigating a lot of things, and money is like

626
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 4: your way of showing support always. You know, I can't

627
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,960
Speaker 4: just go to my aunt's house and start cooking instead

628
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 4: of sending money, you know. So it's been I've when

629
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 4: I first got here in two thousand and seven until now,

630
00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 4: there's been real growth with that. How to handle it,

631
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,320
Speaker 4: how to how when to say no, when to say yes,

632
00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 4: when to all those kind of questions went to how

633
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,279
Speaker 4: to put it in my budget because obviously you put

634
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 4: all those things and I'm sure next season, if we

635
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 4: ever go into finances, you definitely have to revisit this

636
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 4: because it's such a real topic that we all do,

637
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 4: but we all don't share, you know, and I feel

638
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,800
Speaker 4: like we need to give each other like tips.

639
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 1: And tip bits and yeah, for sure what.

640
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,000
Speaker 2: To do, what not to do.

641
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 4: And depending on your family size as well, someone who

642
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 4: comes from a smaller family or also depending on how

643
00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 4: well your family is, so they're starting on their own

644
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 4: two feet for the most part, compared to someone who

645
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:00,719
Speaker 4: might be the ultimate a breadwinner.

646
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:02,279
Speaker 2: It's going to be a different experience.

647
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 4: Absolutely, So this is layered and I'll have to revisit

648
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,840
Speaker 4: we have to revisit them totally.

649
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 1: And then there's also differences you see differences, you know

650
00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:13,280
Speaker 1: when living in the disport, how people relate to parents

651
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 1: and money with them and like you and then our culture,

652
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:21,360
Speaker 1: like you know how grandparents had many children so that

653
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 1: they would have soone to take care of them. So

654
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 1: in our culture it's very it's a part of it

655
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 1: to take care of your family. It's like something that's

656
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:29,479
Speaker 1: so great.

657
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: So we definitely you can't run away from me, ye.

658
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:34,520
Speaker 1: God, you cannot. So we'll definitely doubt it deep into

659
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: it because there's so many aspects and layers to do

660
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:37,879
Speaker 1: with that.

661
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 4: You don't want to view people that's only wanting you

662
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 4: for money.

663
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 2: So that's also another layer that kind of.

664
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 4: Complicating those relationships and not making them all about money.

665
00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 4: I mean, even here and esport, I've had a friend

666
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 4: who was always asking me for money.

667
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: It would be at some point I may be like girl,

668
00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I'm with you totally with.

669
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:05,399
Speaker 4: Being away and growing, you know, unsettling and blossoming into

670
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:06,319
Speaker 4: the woman you are.

671
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,080
Speaker 2: Do you feel like all those.

672
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 4: Different dimensions of you that your family might not know

673
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,759
Speaker 4: reeds resistance? So like when you go home and people

674
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 4: are like, ah, you're doing this, you're doing that.

675
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: How do you navigate that space?

676
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 1: Ah? Yeah, that's a tough one. And that's from cheap

677
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: or d Thank you for that question. I think it's

678
00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: a very true thing. It's like it's like anything. Your

679
00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 1: parents have a perception of who you are, Like you

680
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,800
Speaker 1: are raised a certain way and they view that and

681
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: you don't be this is what she's like. And then

682
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 1: obviously through life experiences you develop into something and you grow,

683
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: you're not you know, you're not your thirteen year old

684
00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:59,359
Speaker 1: self anymore. And because we don't communicate, as we spoke

685
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,640
Speaker 1: about it in the Fact Family episode, you're not able

686
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,920
Speaker 1: to truly articulate your growth as an individual to your parents.

687
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: It's just kind of like, well, this is me now,

688
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 1: you know. And I think that definitely breeds resistance in

689
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,680
Speaker 1: a way because it's like I don't quite understand you.

690
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: I don't understand this part of you. I don't understand

691
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: this newness. But I think too, with family, you end

692
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 1: up because family is family and will always be family.

693
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 1: You learn to accept it. Just may take a long

694
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,120
Speaker 1: time for them to accept that, but you come around.

695
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 1: Does that make sense.

696
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 2: It's just it's.

697
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:45,439
Speaker 1: Difficult, but hopefully and usually they accept and you keep

698
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: it moving, you know. But yeah, it is hard, and

699
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 1: it's one of those things where you realize you can

700
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:54,359
Speaker 1: come You are part of a family, but you are

701
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: not your family. Like everything about you is not based

702
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: on your family. Does that make sense? And that's why

703
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: thinking about children, learn the experiences, your environment, your school,

704
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,839
Speaker 1: your friends, you're that all you know. We know that

705
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,799
Speaker 1: as a human, it's just not how your family raises you.

706
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: But the family lays down the foundation, and I think

707
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 1: that's where communication becomes imperative because that's where you understand

708
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 1: what I'm going through, where I'm coming from, in order

709
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: to bridge the gap a bit more as opposed to yeah,

710
00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:27,360
Speaker 1: wide open, yeah.

711
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 4: And sometimes you choose which sides to show you're like

712
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 4: you're not gonna you have to also protect your sanity.

713
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 4: You can't always be like fighting each war. So sometimes

714
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 4: I always say to people when I'm going to zim,

715
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 4: I put my zim hat on, Like I know what

716
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 4: expectations I they expect from me. I know when I'm like,

717
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 4: if I'm feeling lazy, I can't just like go into

718
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 4: my room and not.

719
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 2: Cook, for example, Like you know, there's like things.

720
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 4: You just know, like you fight through that lazy you know,

721
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 4: you make an easy feel or so it's like there's

722
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 4: these things that you just you realize also which parts

723
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 4: of you they know and love, and maybe you showcase.

724
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 2: Those a bit more.

725
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 4: And that's why it's good to have a varied support system,

726
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 4: right and then hopefully you.

727
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: Can exactly You're not going to get it all from

728
00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 1: you know, one place, or that's true, that's very true,

729
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:23,280
Speaker 1: And could you then answer the question around code switching.

730
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 1: You know, how we speak to each other, and I know,

731
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 1: for example, people are also fascinated by how, especially as Zimbos,

732
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: we speak Shong or you know what I mean, like

733
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:39,760
Speaker 1: mixing the languages or that kind of thing. Like, because

734
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: I think code switching is viewed obviously in a negative

735
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:46,400
Speaker 1: connotation that you're trying to be someone you're not in

736
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: one environment and you're true someone in another environment. So

737
00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:52,799
Speaker 1: how do you tackle that within a zoom context, within

738
00:41:52,840 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: our friendship within you know? Yeah, well our tagline is.

739
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: That's why glish right there?

740
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: You know.

741
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 4: So I feel like with me, code switching unfortunately, isn't

742
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 4: such a negative thing for me. It's almost like it's

743
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 4: almost instinctive the way even like when people talk keep

744
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 4: my friends here, let me speak to you on the podcast,

745
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, it's not different, and I'm like, I

746
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 4: know what they mean. But I think it's just because

747
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 4: I know I'm talking to a fellow Zimbabwean, to a

748
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 4: girl who's known me since we were young, and so

749
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 4: the chemistry, the familiarity is different, whereas like with my

750
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 4: Australian friends, perhaps they only know the like career woman

751
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 4: for example, Uni Girl depends on when they've gone to

752
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 4: know me.

753
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:45,000
Speaker 2: So I feel like it's.

754
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:48,479
Speaker 4: Unfortunate that it happens, But in a way, it's also

755
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 4: just a byproduct or speaking lots of languages, Like like

756
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 4: the definition is actually just because you're multilingual, and obviously

757
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 4: you mix and match. So when I'm talking to my grandma,

758
00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 4: I won't speak the posious British accent. I find obviously

759
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 4: like speaking in tone or an accent where she can

760
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 4: hear me, you know, and then if I'm speaking so yeah,

761
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,279
Speaker 4: sometimes it feels like you're not being authentic, But I

762
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:15,319
Speaker 4: feel like it's also just based around your surrounds and

763
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 4: wanting to fit in.

764
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 2: We all want to fit.

765
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 4: In at the end of the day, and it's it's like, Okay,

766
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 4: if I come to this group of people who speak

767
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 4: a certain way, then maybe I might end up, you know,

768
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 4: trying to sort of speak like them so they can understand.

769
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 4: I mean, there's a difference between code switching and then

770
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 4: being like almost racist where you're like, oh, i'm speaking

771
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 4: to Asians, let me speak this way. Yeah, that's a

772
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 4: total difference. Yeah yeah, But like the way we speak

773
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 4: to each other, mixing Shna English and all the laughs

774
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 4: and the accents changing.

775
00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:53,919
Speaker 1: Yes, it's normal to me. No, I get you, it's

776
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 1: totally normal. I think it's you can't. I think this

777
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:03,719
Speaker 1: is with code switching for me, if you are not

778
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: yourself entirely in the environment you're and there's a problem.

779
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,840
Speaker 1: But it's like you won't work walk into a boardroom

780
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:13,839
Speaker 1: and be like your what's up? What to do? You

781
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: know the examples, I mean, you can't speak bondings to

782
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 1: They'll just be like we at work, like calm downswer

783
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So in that pint is

784
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,359
Speaker 1: knowing the environment you're in, staying true to yourself within

785
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 1: those environments, but being you know, appropriate for the environment

786
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 1: if that makes and.

787
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:40,439
Speaker 4: Sometimes people of color as a tactical thing as well,

788
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 4: like if I'm booking a hotel room or restaurant place,

789
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,680
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be like no, no, no, I'm not going

790
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 4: to use the words ain't and y'all you.

791
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 2: Know, like I'm gonna because I want to get that booking.

792
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: You are.

793
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 4: Like. It's just sometimes it's like a form of defense

794
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 4: that we have to use because people have purposely and

795
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:06,239
Speaker 4: keep telling us that the way we speak is not

796
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 4: refined Okay, maybe I'll speak on wha what do you

797
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 4: think is refined and see if I can get what

798
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 4: I need to get keep it moving, Like what do

799
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:14,319
Speaker 4: you do?

800
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: That's true, that's very true. I feel that people speak

801
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: down to you, like speak down.

802
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yes, And like in Australia's.

803
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,800
Speaker 4: In Australia is a big thing because my name is Amanda,

804
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:31,239
Speaker 4: which is obviously a British English whatever name.

805
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 2: They're like, is that your real name?

806
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 4: Like yes, like that is I come from a country

807
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 4: which we were colonized by the British, so some of

808
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 4: us do have English first names.

809
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 2: It's like normal. So then like yeah, oh they're like,

810
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 2: oh you speak English really well? Did you hear?

811
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 1: Like so yeah, girls, that's a lot, that's a lot. Yeah.

812
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 2: And that's not even on code switching. That's just on ignorance.

813
00:45:56,440 --> 00:46:02,720
Speaker 4: Like come on, now, it's twenty twenty.

814
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:04,959
Speaker 1: We were the Times, read a paper.

815
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe read more.

816
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 1: All right, so now we just as we get to

817
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 1: the close to the end of the episode, Amanda, which

818
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 1: hairstyles do you like on men? Because we know about

819
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,240
Speaker 1: this the hair episode is out, but like, yeah, which

820
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,359
Speaker 1: hairstyle looks good? Which one do you feel on the paper.

821
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 2: We didn't really like duff on this right, Yeah, we

822
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: didn't go into this.

823
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:37,280
Speaker 1: Girl.

824
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,760
Speaker 2: I like it clean. I like it neat a message

825
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,399
Speaker 2: no matter what it is.

826
00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:45,839
Speaker 4: Like. I like locks on guys if they need. I

827
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 4: like a nice fade on guys. I like my husband

828
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 4: has a like a bun. I like a man bun.

829
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 2: I like that. But it's like it neat, you know.

830
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,000
Speaker 4: I think I'm a sucker for like refined edges and oh,

831
00:46:59,080 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 4: I get what you mean.

832
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 2: This has to look neat and not unkept like it's. Yeah,

833
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: it's a thing for me.

834
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 4: If it looks unkept like I just like it neat,

835
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:12,040
Speaker 4: no matter what the style actually is, it's just looking neat.

836
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. Like look

837
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: like your hair and like brush. Yeah, I don't know.

838
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 4: I don't really have a favorite when I see him

839
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 4: like that, No, no, no, it just has to be like, okay,

840
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 4: he actually took care of whatever certain Yeah, I mean.

841
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 2: I both look so sexy on some men as well.

842
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: True, I like it all. Just be neat.

843
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 4: With whatever you're serving me, okay, and were for the confidence.

844
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,840
Speaker 4: Maybe I don't like a boulding head. I must just

845
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:51,520
Speaker 4: excuse me. Dad vibes a bold head someone I feel like, no, no, no, like.

846
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: I feel like shave shaved off completely. If you're bolding,

847
00:47:56,640 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 2: just give in, Just give in my b let it go.

848
00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 2: Let and then yeah, because I.

849
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: Love a bald head with beer.

850
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,360
Speaker 2: That that's bald head is nice.

851
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:06,720
Speaker 1: Yeah?

852
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, what about you? What you like on your man?

853
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: It really depends, like you said, like clean or like

854
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: a little I don't know, like I don't know, like

855
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 1: what's his name? What's his name?

856
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:24,760
Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite?

857
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 1: No, not a favorite, but it's just like where you

858
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 1: like sometimes part but not like the old school English part.

859
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: And then you but like just a little bit of

860
00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:39,280
Speaker 1: a you know, styled clean like a line, yes, a line.

861
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 5: It just depends like but you dinna did it well,

862
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 5: like you know his his.

863
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: Style, you know that, but it's also his vibe and stuff.

864
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: It also needs to be your vibe. That's the other thing.

865
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 1: I don't want you to remember when dudes were doing

866
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 1: Beckham and I'm like, you ain't David Beckham, like'sn't work

867
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: it out, you know what type of thing. So totally

868
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:06,680
Speaker 1: it's about looking like you try a little bit, you know, I.

869
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:10,120
Speaker 4: Think that's it presentable like you tried. Yeah, yeah, you

870
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 4: actually brushed your hair or took care of it.

871
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, in some way, totally totally.

872
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, be friends with It's fine.

873
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: It's okay, it's okay. But yeah, I don't have a

874
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,320
Speaker 1: favorite either, Like, it just depends it works for you,

875
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: it suits you, then I'm good.

876
00:49:27,560 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 4: Like what do you feel about boys? I'm talking about

877
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 4: black boys here. You don't brush their hair, so just

878
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 4: let the frog grow like jay Z is being through

879
00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 4: a phase.

880
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: No, no, I'm not here for that. I'm sorry.

881
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,520
Speaker 2: No, like doing Russian girls literally like.

882
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 1: I get that, but get the locks or I don't know,

883
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: like get it. I don't know. It's like, you know,

884
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 1: the weekend when he had the even black the single

885
00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 1: black kid had before. So no, no, no, I mean, how

886
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: do you like it? You tell me?

887
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 2: Well, I said neat, So I think they were not

888
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,840
Speaker 2: often in that array of neatness.

889
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 1: But I think they're trying to stand in their black power, you.

890
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:21,399
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, like the of course, of course.

891
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:25,359
Speaker 1: But it's not my kind of black power. That's all

892
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 1: I'll say. That's it.

893
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 2: I think it just looks like what you said, effort

894
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:29,759
Speaker 2: is required.

895
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that they looks like there's there could be

896
00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 4: it can be effortless, but it doesn't have to be

897
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 4: zero effort.

898
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:39,200
Speaker 1: And then also now I's got tie. I don't know

899
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:40,840
Speaker 1: if you tie your tie around his head, like I

900
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 1: don't know. Sorry, I'm going.

901
00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 2: Comfort and stop.

902
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 7: Just okay, I should not have got Hienough so now

903
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 7: because you know, every time I'll see him, I would.

904
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: Be like, like, you know what you to keep saying

905
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: like that? Anyway, coming back to myself, So, Amanda, this

906
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 1: is like bringing us to the end of season one.

907
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 1: What has been your thought like, how have you felt

908
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 1: your reflection and final thoughts on season one of.

909
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 2: It's lad wow, wow, wow, there's so much to talk about.

910
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 4: Still my first thoughts are like wow already, Like at

911
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 4: the same time, I'm like, it's been so good to

912
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 4: hear back from people and to connect.

913
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 2: With people fired this way.

914
00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 4: It's been good to be, you know, to Zimbabwean born

915
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 4: girls out here trying to provide a voice and inside

916
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 4: what thoughts are you know? Yeah, So it's been so

917
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,760
Speaker 4: I've just been really really even when we had audience

918
00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,359
Speaker 4: on it was just nice to like actually just sit

919
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 4: back and have good chats, have good bands about life.

920
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:04,800
Speaker 4: I mean, you and I have always done this with

921
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,960
Speaker 4: or not there's a podcast, but now to actually have

922
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 4: people listen in, it's like a different dimension, which has

923
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 4: been very cool and very interesting and I'm.

924
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,920
Speaker 2: Very very grateful to you and me.

925
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 4: You have been such a mainstay of this podcast. You

926
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:24,319
Speaker 4: hold it down girl, and like you made us do this,

927
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 4: and I'm so glad.

928
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:29,439
Speaker 1: Amanda come on, Yeah no she didn't.

929
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,280
Speaker 4: She didn't hold me at gunpoint, but definitely very encouraging

930
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:35,840
Speaker 4: and like it's just been so interesting.

931
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm along for the ride. I really am.

932
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 2: I'm like looking forward to what's what's more to come.

933
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 4: And talk about things and have people give us feedback

934
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:50,520
Speaker 4: that they can relate, they're enjoying it, that they have questions,

935
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:51,440
Speaker 4: that they want more.

936
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 2: It's just like, oh.

937
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,879
Speaker 1: We're actually doing something of value. Yeah yeah, and.

938
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,320
Speaker 2: It's been it's been hard work.

939
00:52:58,400 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 6: We put our for our soul, at our hearts out

940
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:04,120
Speaker 6: here telling people all are Some people might view this

941
00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 6: as private issues, but we do this so people can

942
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:09,120
Speaker 6: feel represented.

943
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 2: So very happy to have done this with you. Thank you.

944
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 1: Chuckle. My cheeks hurts. I'm smiling so much.

945
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 2: For you.

946
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. I think it feels worthwhile. You know,

947
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 1: when you start something and you're like, I don't know where,

948
00:53:28,719 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 1: like because literally it was a thought like we should

949
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 1: start a podcast. It's like, yeah, we should, like you

950
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And I'm seeing where it's gonna go,

951
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: and it really just yeah, it's been so much fun.

952
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,719
Speaker 1: I think that's what I'm grateful for. I've enjoyed it.

953
00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: I've you know, learned a lot, heard from people I

954
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 1: haven't heard from in a long time as well. It's

955
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: just been nice the feedback. And as you said so rightly,

956
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:59,839
Speaker 1: representation matters I think in this world like hearing us

957
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: stories and sharing our stories, especially coming from a country

958
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 1: like Zimbabwe, where our stories are often one sided or

959
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: not even reflected at all, that means a lot. Thank

960
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: you for tuning in, for embracing our quirks and you know,

961
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:23,360
Speaker 1: our banta. This is our friendship, just a little peek

962
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: into what it's like. And I'm so grateful that I

963
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:30,439
Speaker 1: got to do this, or get to do this rather

964
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: with you, Amanda, like you know you, as much as

965
00:54:34,719 --> 00:54:37,919
Speaker 1: she was trying to pump me up, she has been

966
00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:43,360
Speaker 1: a ge. She's the legity player. She's like, I'm on this,

967
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:48,319
Speaker 1: you know, so dependable and like, you know, so like

968
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 1: so many ideas that we go back and forth with,

969
00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 1: like truly, truly, you know, it wouldn't be what it

970
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:58,239
Speaker 1: is without you. So thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Amanda.

971
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 1: Thank you for your time, your energy. You've invested so

972
00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: much into this in the midst of working a full

973
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:10,000
Speaker 1: ninety five and your side hustle and now this, you

974
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: know what I mean, it's a lot. Thank you for

975
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 1: sharing your heart. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You know,

976
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 1: little Teddy there, I like to share it, put him

977
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: up every episode because at the bottom of this foot

978
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: it says nobody is perfect. So I hope you realize

979
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,320
Speaker 1: that as we share all these thoughts, we're not perfect.

980
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 1: We're not saying we know everything. We're just saying this

981
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,839
Speaker 1: is how we perceive it. How do you perceive it?

982
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 1: As we look forward to engaging more with you guys

983
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:44,720
Speaker 1: in the new year, it's just yeah, I feel good.

984
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 1: I'm feeling good.

985
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas, yes,

986
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,600
Speaker 4: exam a great new Year twenty twenty one. Hopefully we

987
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,880
Speaker 4: can see each other Ruby. We were robbed of that

988
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 4: in twenty twenty, and here's to hoping that twenty twenty

989
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:06,720
Speaker 4: one we can probably do this live.

990
00:56:07,200 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely, that'll be great.

991
00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 4: That'll be one that's always a hope of someone in

992
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:15,680
Speaker 4: a long distance relationship that you will keep for sure,

993
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,839
Speaker 4: just to hoping.

994
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:21,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. And I think, if anything, just grateful

995
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 1: that we did get to do this in spite of

996
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: what the year brought. And yeah, wishing everyone health and

997
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:31,399
Speaker 1: like you know, good vibes. Twenty twenty one, please bring

998
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 1: us the good vibes we need discovery. Yes, that's been rough,

999
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:44,399
Speaker 1: but yeah, thank you so much, thank you so much.

1000
00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:47,560
Speaker 1: Everyone will see you in the new year. Take care

1001
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: bye bye.

1002
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:54,160
Speaker 3: I'm always always sir.

1003
00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: Be careful.