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Speaker 1: Hello, my name is Satasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud

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Speaker 1: or the Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And

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Speaker 1: before we get started on She's on the Money podcast,

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Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the

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Speaker 1: land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on

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Speaker 2: the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: that's hit help you smash your financial goals and live

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Speaker 3: your best life. Now, let's be honest. Who here has

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Speaker 3: made New Year's resolutions only to watch them fade away

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Speaker 3: by February. Maybe you promise yourself you'd hit the gym,

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Speaker 3: only to end up paying for a membership you barely use.

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Speaker 3: Or maybe you set a big savings goal, but somehow

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Speaker 3: online shopping and brunches keep getting in the way. That

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Speaker 3: sounds instead the best of us. It sounds like a

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Speaker 3: lot of us. I'm thinking that sounds like you. You

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Speaker 3: are in good company. I'm excited with me today. As

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Speaker 3: you can hear, is the woman where all are he

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Speaker 3: to call our personal financial goals cheerleader, the one and

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Speaker 3: only Victoria Devine.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Happy New Year. I'm very excited about this Beck.

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Speaker 2: It's the time of year where we start thinking about

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Speaker 2: what's next. So today we're talking about news resolutions, why

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Speaker 2: ninety two percent of them don't last, and most importantly,

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Speaker 2: how do we in the eight percent who actually succeed. So,

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Speaker 2: if you are ready to make twenty twenty five your

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Speaker 2: best year yet, my friend, this episode is for you.

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Speaker 2: Why I think this is so fun because I am

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Speaker 2: your personal hype girl, Like, whatever you want to do,

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Speaker 2: I'm there. You want to buy a pony or fantastic,

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Speaker 2: You want to go to the gym, fantastic, You don't

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Speaker 2: want to go to the gym? Incredible, even better, even better?

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Speaker 2: But we do know the time of year right now

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Speaker 2: is when we start to think about what's next. Like,

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Speaker 2: so today we're going to be talking about news resolutions

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Speaker 2: and why or depressing but ninety two percent of them

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Speaker 2: don't last, and most importantly, how you can be in

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Speaker 2: the eight percent of people who actually succeed when setting

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Speaker 2: these goals. So, if you're ready to make twenty twenty

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Speaker 2: five your best year yet, this episode is for you.

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Speaker 3: So there's something really like satisfying about starting. You know,

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Speaker 3: there's big goals on January first, it's like new year,

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Speaker 3: new me, new year for me.

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Speaker 2: Wait, it feels so much fresher.

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Speaker 3: Than like your regular Monday, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I mean In the She's on the Money community, we

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Speaker 2: are like, you don't have to wait for a new

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Speaker 2: year to set new goals, Like you can start anytime,

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Speaker 2: which is true, right, But we'd be lying to ourselves

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Speaker 2: if we said that it doesn't feel extra shiny. It

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Speaker 2: does like it's a new diary.

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Speaker 3: Yes, if it's a new diary or a new month,

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Speaker 3: or a new page or a new anything, it's like fresh,

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Speaker 3: it's clean.

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Speaker 2: Let's start exactly. And you know what, that's actually a

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Speaker 2: real psych thing, Beck, It's called the fresh start effect,

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Speaker 2: and study show honestly, we've never had an original experience, Beck,

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Speaker 2: but studies show that we're more motivated to set goals

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Speaker 2: at the start of a new year or any milestone

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Speaker 2: moment like maybe a birthday, or at the start of

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Speaker 2: a new month, because it does genuinely feel like a

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Speaker 2: clean slate. It's not just us being like, oh it

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Speaker 2: feels like that. No, no, no, that's psychological. It's ingrained

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Speaker 2: in us. We actually get the opportunity when we feel

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Speaker 2: like there's a clean slate to separate our past self

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Speaker 2: from our future self, which makes it so much easier

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Speaker 2: to believe that we can start over and achieve big things. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this is like, I hope your de

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Speaker 2: Lulu comes true. True. I feel like sometimes you need

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Speaker 2: to lull yourself into a false sense of confidence.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 2: Did you go to the gym once this year? Victoria Devine? No,

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Speaker 2: you didn't. Why do you think it's going to happen

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Speaker 2: in January? I don't know, but I am overly optimistic. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think that's so funny that we think that on

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Speaker 3: a specific day we're miraculously going to be a.

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Speaker 2: Different but we are because it's twenty twenty.

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Speaker 3: THRO believe you me exactly. So, Yeah, that was a

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Speaker 3: big one. Really does kind of make you feel a

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Speaker 3: bit like, Okay, what chance do I have a sticks?

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Speaker 3: If you're listening to this, you have all the chances

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Speaker 3: in the world.

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Speaker 2: We're actually going to do it this year. This is

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Speaker 2: going to be our year to thrive.

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Speaker 3: Why do so many resolutions fizzle out before?

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Speaker 2: Just because we like are a bit d Lulu. If

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Speaker 2: we're being honest, we set some really unrealistic goals and

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Speaker 2: like we're all guilty of it, right, Like while the

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Speaker 2: fresh start effect of a new year can be super motivating,

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Speaker 2: it can all so make us feel overly ambitious and like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want you to downplay your ambition, but that

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Speaker 2: does often lead to really big, vague goals like I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna save more, I'm gonna get really fit. What does

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Speaker 2: that even mean? Back when we say I'm gonna save more,

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Speaker 2: what do you mean by that?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 2: Are we setting a realistic goal of like I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: aim to save an extra twenty bucks a week and

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be doing this by X Y Z,

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Speaker 2: Or when I say I want to get really fit

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Speaker 2: and I can't do this, so no judgment. I want

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Speaker 2: to be able to do ten chin ups in a row.

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Speaker 2: Like we want to set goals that make sense but

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Speaker 2: also are trackable. So research from the American Psychological Association

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Speaker 2: shows that large undefined goals can quickly feel super overwhelming,

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Speaker 2: which decreases our motivation because they're hard to track. Sorry,

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Speaker 2: it's too hard, Like it's too hard, Like it's too hard.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of like climbing a ladder, but the rungs

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Speaker 2: are too hot. The rung is like six foot off

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Speaker 2: the ground and I'm actually five to two, so I

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Speaker 2: can't reach the rung. Sure, but if each rung was

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Speaker 2: only a foot apart, there's small steps in the right direction,

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Speaker 2: I can climb that ladder.

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Speaker 3: What a gorgeous analogy.

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Speaker 2: Well things, I came up with it myself and it

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Speaker 2: made sense in my head. Another reason why it's really

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Speaker 2: hard is because there's a lack of a clear plan.

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Speaker 2: I kind of touched on that before, but there is

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Speaker 2: a saying a goal without a plan is just a wish.

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Speaker 2: I know. These analogies or Instagram quotes you could say

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Speaker 2: often feel a little bit like flippant, but legitimately, if

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Speaker 2: you're setting a goal in your head I want to

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Speaker 2: save more, you basically should just say I wish I

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Speaker 2: could save more. Yeah, research then says ninety two percent

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Speaker 2: if you aren't going to be able to do that right,

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Speaker 2: So we need to create a plan. Without a specific plan,

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Speaker 2: it is so easy to feel lost and then lose

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Speaker 2: momentum once the initial excitement fades, because do you know

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Speaker 2: what happens? First of January comes right beck You've set

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Speaker 2: the goal, you said save more, and you wrote it

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Speaker 2: in your crispy brand new diary, and so you've looked

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Speaker 2: at your budget this month and you're like, Slay, I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna pull that two hundred bucks out. I'm gonna put

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Speaker 2: it in my savings account or look at me go.

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Speaker 2: But you didn't make a plan, and you didn't do

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Speaker 2: all of your budgeting. So come February you're like, ah,

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Speaker 2: my housemate just text me and electricity is due. I'm

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Speaker 2: just going to dip into the savings and pull those

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Speaker 2: out because I actually didn't make a plan right and

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Speaker 2: I felt really good about it. But do you know

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Speaker 2: what that's reinforcing is the idea that you can't save.

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Speaker 2: So instead of going I can create a plan from

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Speaker 2: the start, come February and you're dipping into those savings already,

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Speaker 2: you are telling yourself that you're not good at something.

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Speaker 2: Immediately you're going in and going, I need to pay

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Speaker 2: the electricity bill. I'm so bad at savings. I'm not

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Speaker 2: good at this, Like I suck. You set yourself up

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Speaker 2: for failure. Yeah, it's not because you're bad at it,

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Speaker 2: it's because the plan wasn't juicy enough.

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Speaker 3: True, And when you're save two hundred dollars next month

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Speaker 3: and next month and then the whole visual cycle.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, we need to go back to basics. So say

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Speaker 2: another example, you set a goal to save one thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars and then every month you're going to tell yourself

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Speaker 2: save more each month. But without a plan, you're going

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Speaker 2: to come to December twenty twenty five and you're going

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Speaker 2: to have nothing in savings because there's no set amount,

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Speaker 2: there's no timeline, there's no strategy. You barely have anything

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Speaker 2: for the first month. Like you look at it and

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Speaker 2: you just think that you're terrible at this, And the

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Speaker 2: reality is, it's not that you're bad with money. In fact,

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Speaker 2: some of the best people I know with money aren't

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Speaker 2: the highest income earnest. They just create a good plan

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Speaker 2: and stick to it. I'm not good at sticking to

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Speaker 2: a plan either, but like you know, I'm just trying

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Speaker 2: to be relatable. But life gets in the way, and

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Speaker 2: before you know it, the goal it starts feeling impossible

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Speaker 2: because it comes close to the time that you thought

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Speaker 2: you would have one thousand dollars and then you just

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Speaker 2: didn't have a thousand dollars. Sure, and you're like, well,

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Speaker 2: what's that reinforcing Beck, that you're bad at savings. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're not bad at savings. We just didn't have a plan.

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Speaker 2: But if we'd created some clear steps, like maybe instead

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Speaker 2: you're like, Okay, cool, I want to save one thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars and I want to do that. I don't know

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Speaker 2: maybe by Meredith next year. How long is that going

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Speaker 2: to take till it gets there? Oh, maybe I'll save

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Speaker 2: one hundred dollars a month. And maybe because you're a

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Speaker 2: bite sized girl like me, you need to break it up.

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Speaker 2: So instead of saving one hundred dollars each and every

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Speaker 2: single month, because that coming out of your account, you're like,

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Speaker 2: you could work if it comes out on the day

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Speaker 2: that you get paid, you could automate it to a

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Speaker 2: saving's account, or you could break it down right and

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Speaker 2: you could go, well, Beck, one hundred bucks coming out

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Speaker 2: of my account every month. That's not for me because

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Speaker 2: I see that amount and it gives me anxiety. Maybe

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Speaker 2: you need a monthly goal. If you set up a

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Speaker 2: direct debit today, Beck, And this is probably a good

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Speaker 2: one as well, because how many of you are stressed

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Speaker 2: about Christmas? So how hard Beck, was it to do

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Speaker 2: Christmas this year?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 3: I wish that instead of the anxiety, be festive and

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Speaker 3: the first time I'm.

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Speaker 2: Going to give you the biggest Christmas gift. Yeah. Go,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna go set up a bank account. Yes, and

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Speaker 2: are you gonna call it Christmas? Okay? And you're gonna

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Speaker 2: set up a direct debit so it just gets taken

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Speaker 2: out of your account. Nineteen dollars. Can you afford nineteen

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Speaker 2: dollars every week? We're just going to direct debit nineteen

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Speaker 2: dollars to Christmas fun? I reckon, So nineteen dollars Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Next year, you're gonna have one thousand dollars for Christmas?

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, right, nineteen bucks. Great. But if you got

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Speaker 2: to the end of the year, so the year gets

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Speaker 2: away from me, start of December comes, you're like, far out,

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Speaker 2: we're doing this again. At the start of December. I

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Speaker 2: spoke to you. You said you were anxious about the

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Speaker 2: amount of spending you were gonna do that month. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: start of December you could have one thousand dollars, or

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Speaker 2: start of December next year you could be trying to

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Speaker 2: scrape together one thousand dollars. Do you need one thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars for Christmas back? Maybe you do, maybe you don't.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you only spend five hundred of that. You've got

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Speaker 2: an extra five hundred bucks, true, Like you don't have

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Speaker 2: to spend the money that you save that specific goal.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it amazing that you could have extra casholer at

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Speaker 2: Christmas time?

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Speaker 3: I know this is the thing, but it's a great idea.

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Speaker 2: But nineteen dollars and twenty three cents each and every

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Speaker 2: single week is going to add up to one thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars and that would take the pressure off, and that

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Speaker 2: would automatically make you good at money. Yeah, because right

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Speaker 2: now you're probably and I know that you always say

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Speaker 2: I'm so bad at it, like I can't save, I

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Speaker 2: can't do whatever. Let's pretend it's me. Pretend I'm the

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Speaker 2: direct debit finance godmother. I'm going in, I'm taking nineteen

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Speaker 2: bucks off. You can't have it back, putting it over here?

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Speaker 2: You can have it at Christmas. You'll be like, okay, sorry,

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Speaker 2: v Yeah, I'll give you one thousand dollars it's yours,

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Speaker 2: but it won't feel like one thousand dollars. It will

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Speaker 2: feel like nineteen. Yes. True, but if we set ourselves up,

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Speaker 2: it's very easy. Small steps. But get to the month

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Speaker 2: before Christmas where you're getting that from. We can do

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Speaker 2: hard things. The steps need to just be small. So

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Speaker 2: we want to focus on motivation. But we also don't

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Speaker 2: want to just focus on motivation.

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Speaker 3: Because it's fleeting.

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Speaker 2: It's fleeting. She's here today, gone tomorrow exactly. I am

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Speaker 2: very motivated. I've decided I'm in my fit mum era

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Speaker 2: cool for five minutes. Five minutes a fit mum era.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to have to create a plan that is

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Speaker 2: sustainable because motivation is really powerful. At first, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: we're going to do this, but it actually naturally fades,

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Speaker 2: so it's not even oh, I lost my motivation. Like

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Speaker 2: that's actually a scientific thing. Motivation over time fades because

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Speaker 2: we get used to it. It's like shiny new car.

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Speaker 2: Let's say tomorrow, Beck, you got a brand spanking new car.

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Speaker 2: How excited are you? Pretty excited?

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Speaker 3: I have do more writing the lecho, but.

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Speaker 2: How excited are you in six months.

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Speaker 3: That's a very good question, and honestly, probably not as.

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Speaker 2: Exactly that motivation for you. So what I want you

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Speaker 2: to think about is ego depletion. It's actually a fascinating

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Speaker 2: concept in psychology. It refers to the idea that will

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Speaker 2: power is like a muscle, so it gets tired the

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Speaker 2: more that we use it. And research shows that every

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Speaker 2: single time we exercise self control, whether it's resisting an

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Speaker 2: urge to splurge on a sale, or it's Beck saying

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Speaker 2: no to the third coffee that she's going to buy

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Speaker 2: that day, or deciding to stick to a budget instead

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Speaker 2: of going out with your friends, it uses up a

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Speaker 2: little bit of our mental energy that's exhausting over time,

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Speaker 2: especially without breaks or habits to lean on, that energy depletes,

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Speaker 2: making it so much harder, and then we kind of

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Speaker 2: can't resist slipping back into our old behaviors because we're tired. Yes,

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Speaker 2: like you're asking me to do something that is exhausting,

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Speaker 2: like that, you're exercising self control all the time. Like

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Speaker 2: if I said, hey, Beck, for the next few days,

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Speaker 2: I want you to say no to two coffees, I

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Speaker 2: reckon you could do that. It wouldn't be easy.

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Speaker 3: I send the next two month.

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Speaker 2: You need to say no to a coffee every day

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Speaker 2: too hard.

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Speaker 3: Even if I say noddle coffee once, I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna treat myself.

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Speaker 2: To coffee exactly. And I think that we need to

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Speaker 2: be really honest about this, And that's why goals that

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Speaker 2: rely solely on willpower. Yeah, Like I'm gonna stop spending

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Speaker 2: money on Uber eats forever, or I'm gonna stop buying

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Speaker 2: coffee out because I'm Beck forever. They fail, Yes, And

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Speaker 2: that's why I am such a big believer in creating

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Speaker 2: the systems and the strategies that do the heavy lifting

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Speaker 2: and support you. So like, I'm not expecting Beck that

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Speaker 2: you can do that, But what I am expecting is

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Speaker 2: that if I give you a system and you get

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Speaker 2: to implement it and not have to spend a lot

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Speaker 2: of mental energy on it and it kind of happens

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Speaker 2: in the background, I'm setting you up for success, even

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Speaker 2: on the days when you don't feel like it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: because back to our thousand dollars nineteen dollars a week

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Speaker 2: coming out of your account. This is not even me

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Speaker 2: being nasty, I promise, But for someone like you who

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Speaker 2: doesn't lean into budgeting, you're like, really for me, like

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Speaker 2: I'm a bit more of a yellow girl. I can

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Speaker 2: almost guarantee that if we set that up and you

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Speaker 2: go to check your account and you're like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: only have twenty bucks in there, I still want a coffee,

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Speaker 2: that's fine because I've actually already taken that nineteen dollars.

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Speaker 2: We're not thinking about what we're saving, we're just thinking

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Speaker 2: about what we've got access to. So I've taken your

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Speaker 2: access away, and now it's not taking up mental energy. Yes,

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Speaker 2: if it takes up mental energy and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 2: but I've got the cash and it's so hard not

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Speaker 2: to spend it out of sight, out of mind, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I took it away. I am the direct debit. I

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Speaker 2: love that I reframed my entire brand image to be like,

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Speaker 2: see me as the direct debit. Every time you set

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Speaker 2: one up, it's Victoria taking control of your money. Yep.

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Speaker 2: I love that. Maybe it's me on a power trip whatever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and it feels like, oh, that's not my money anymore.

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Speaker 2: It's not. Yeah, it's not if you direct edited it.

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Speaker 2: Victoria did that. Sorry, Like VI said a hundred money, Like,

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Speaker 2: I think it's really important to remember that mentally, if

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Speaker 2: things are hard, we're not going to do them anyway.

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Speaker 2: The other thing I want to talk about, which I

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Speaker 2: don't think you fall into very often. I do, though,

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Speaker 2: and that's external pressure. So like resolutions, they're often based

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Speaker 2: on I would say, external expectations. Right, So you might

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Speaker 2: spend a lot of time online and follow a lot

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Speaker 2: of influences and you might be like I should lose weight,

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Speaker 2: or you might see somebody in a flashy new car

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Speaker 2: and you like, I really want to buy a new car.

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Speaker 2: Or recently, I have seen so many people traveling that

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, we should plan holiday. Yeah right, Okay,

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Speaker 2: why am I thinking that? Because I'm seeing other people

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Speaker 2: doing that, Like Victoria, you had a big holiday this year,

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Speaker 2: you don't get one next year, Like you know, A

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Speaker 2: part of my budgeting with my husband is that, like

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Speaker 2: we go on one big holiday and then the year

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Speaker 2: after we might do something small, but.

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Speaker 3: Like it's not a big holiday, bound down the hatches.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but like we've got to have some level of balance.

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Speaker 2: And so I'm thinking I saw my friend here be

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Speaker 2: for real, Like that's an external pressure and I'm back

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Speaker 2: on the s like train. I've been doing so much

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Speaker 2: research to this episode. Big self determination theory suggests that

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Speaker 2: we more likely to stick to goals that are meaningful

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Speaker 2: to us personally rather than those that are driven by

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Speaker 2: like trends or social pressure.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So if I'm just seeing people online and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I really want to do that. I want to go

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Speaker 2: on a holiday, and then I set up my savings,

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Speaker 2: hown't I start saving? Like that's not going to help.

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Speaker 2: It's not going to keep me motivated. If I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to like big a goal here, save for a home

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Speaker 2: or make a big investment because everyone else is doing it.

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Speaker 2: You're like seeing ally friends post their sold stickers and

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Speaker 2: you keep telling yourself, Oh, I really should save through deposit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but deep down you don't care about owning a house.

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Speaker 3: That makes sense.

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Speaker 2: You'd rather actually travel or grow your career, do something else. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's really valid. And we need to look at ourselves

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Speaker 2: and what our goals are and what our priorities are,

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Speaker 2: because if the goal doesn't match up to what we

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Speaker 2: truly want, your goal is to lose motivation and then

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Speaker 2: you're going to give up. And if we give up,

365
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Speaker 2: then what are we going to do? We're going to

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Speaker 2: perpetuate this idea I'm not good at money. It's not

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Speaker 2: that you're not good at money, it's that you never

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Speaker 2: had the right systems and processes in place.

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Speaker 3: Powerful, But it's.

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Speaker 2: True also Beck having an all or nothing mindset, Yes,

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Speaker 2: that is a big one. You're a bit go hard

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Speaker 2: to go home. And I rate it. And it's so funny,

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Speaker 2: like anyone who's been listening to the show all year, Like, Beck,

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Speaker 2: what are you doing this weekend? I'm going to Japan?

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Speaker 2: Can you afford it? Nah? But we're going boots and

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Speaker 2: all in. I love that. And many of us actually

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Speaker 2: fall into the trap of like all or nothing, and

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Speaker 2: we feel like one slip up is a personal failure. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And psychologists actually refer to this as cognitive rigidity. Well

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Speaker 2: yet right, it's an actual term. And I have to

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Speaker 2: always say rigidity consistently before I say it aloud in

382
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Speaker 2: my head because it's a high word for me, where

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00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:06,000
Speaker 2: small setbacks actually feel like a reason to quit all together.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like I'm introducing a lot of psychology

385
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Speaker 2: into this episode because I've done so many budgeting episodes,

386
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Speaker 2: so many goal setting episodes, and so many of us

387
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Speaker 2: still go But I'm not good at it, Like girl,

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Speaker 2: it's actually psychology totally.

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Speaker 3: She's got receipts.

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Speaker 2: Ye, come with the receipts.

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Speaker 3: Come with the receipts.

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Speaker 2: You are actually good at money. You just have a

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Speaker 2: really bad system, and I'm here to fix that for you.

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Speaker 2: So let's say you set a goal to stick to

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Speaker 2: a strict budget for one month. Beck midway through the month,

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Speaker 2: you splurge, so you're going out for dinner and drinks

397
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Speaker 2: and you bought yourself a new vape. Is that relatable

398
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Speaker 2: personal attack?

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Speaker 3: Yes? Absolutely?

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Speaker 2: But how many times have you set a goal and

401
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Speaker 2: then done something like that? No judgment, but you've thought, well,

402
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Speaker 2: damn it, I've already blown my budget. May all just

403
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Speaker 2: keep spending?

404
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Speaker 3: Yeah, every single mother, we just keep speaking again.

405
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Speaker 2: Halfway through, may as well just keep spending. Instead of

406
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:07,119
Speaker 2: seeing it as a small, very manageable slip up, you

407
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,680
Speaker 2: then treat it like a total failure and you abandon

408
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 2: the goal, You wipe it off. You're like, I can

409
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Speaker 2: just save next month. Yes, fine, I don't even care.

410
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Speaker 2: I'm just going to buy so many more of this thing.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I'm going to treat myself because

412
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Speaker 2: I've already come this far, But like that mentality is

413
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Speaker 2: going to financially ruin you. Adjusting for like one dinner

414
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Speaker 2: or one d rail or one purchase that wasn't planned for,

415
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Speaker 2: isn't actually going to derail you from overall progress. Like

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Speaker 2: let's say that your plan was to save five hundred

417
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Speaker 2: bucks this month, and after work, the girls will like,

418
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Speaker 2: do you want to go out for drinks? Back? Do

419
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Speaker 2: you want to go to the pub? And I know

420
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Speaker 2: you don't drink a lot, but like you went out

421
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Speaker 2: to pub, You had a few soda waters, you bought

422
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Speaker 2: a palma. Yeah, palmers these days one are they like

423
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 2: twenty six twenty eight usually insane? Right, So you've really

424
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Speaker 2: spent thirty bucks. Then all of a sudden, you did

425
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Speaker 2: buy a few little cheeky bebs for other people because

426
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Speaker 2: you're a generous type. You've spent fifty bucks that night.

427
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Speaker 2: Are we going to wipe off the rest of the

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Speaker 2: four hundred and fifty dollars that you could save? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: True, Mentally I would, I'd be like, oh, no, I've

430
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Speaker 3: just dood but like, oh.

431
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Speaker 2: I've already come this fire, and like my generosity got

432
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 2: ahead of me and I had this fancy meal out

433
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't have done. I had dinner in the fridge.

434
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 2: What am I doing? So we're going to throw the

435
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,680
Speaker 2: other four hundred and fifty bucks away? So you're telling

436
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 2: me that pub meal that did cost you fifty bucks,

437
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,800
Speaker 2: Like you're going to throw four hundred and fifty dollars

438
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 2: away because you didn't feel good about that decision.

439
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 3: When you put it like that, it's quite alarming, isn't

440
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 3: it That we do in.

441
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: The bin doesn't matter.

442
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: Yeah?

443
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 2: True, you could not literally pay me to put four

444
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty bucks in the bin, But that's kind

445
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,640
Speaker 2: of what you're doing. And it's all about how you're

446
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 2: choosing to respond to how things make you feel. So

447
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 2: what I would say is reframe. I'm not going to

448
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 2: hit my goal, but I'm going to go four hundred

449
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 2: and fifty dollars. Do I actually need to be budgeting

450
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 2: for nights out?

451
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 3: Like?

452
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 2: Is that something that is happening every month? Is that

453
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,120
Speaker 2: something that's consistently derailing me? Maybe I need to reset

454
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 2: my expectations of saving five hundred bucks a month and

455
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 2: go gin know what, I'm going to say four hundred

456
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 2: a month and I'm going to put a budget aside

457
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: that I can dip into. So I don't feel guilty

458
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 2: about those things because I love going to the pub

459
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 2: with my mates. I just have a really good time.

460
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: I want to go out for that meal and that

461
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 2: twenty eight dollar palmer. While exorbitant, like be for real,

462
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 2: it's a chicken snitty with some sauce and ham. Yeah,

463
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 2: it actually sparks a lot of joy in my life. Yeah,

464
00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,200
Speaker 2: so we're going to readjust we're not going to think

465
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:33,440
Speaker 2: of that as a personal failure totally. Anyway. I feel

466
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 2: like I've yapped for a while. So we're going to

467
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 2: go to a break, and after the break, I'm going

468
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 2: to be sharing the game and changing steps I made

469
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: them up. So yeah, anyway, that are going to help

470
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 2: you to leave the ninety two percent of people behind

471
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 2: and join the eight percent who actually follow through on

472
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 2: their goals. Beck, because what year is it? Next year?

473
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty?

474
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 3: Thrive?

475
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 2: All right, stick around.

476
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 3: Before the break we dug into y ninety two percent

477
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:04,879
Speaker 3: center of news. Resolutions don't stick, unfortunately, but these here

478
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 3: to help ninety two percent of us. For the eight percent,

479
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 3: I'm like, good for you, girl and boy, and they

480
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 3: then so V tell us, how do we join that

481
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 3: magical eight percent.

482
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,480
Speaker 2: I'm here to make your Delulu come true true.

483
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:20,480
Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it.

484
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 2: You're welcome. But and I said this before, we just

485
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: need to get really clear on our specific goals. It's

486
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,800
Speaker 2: not just about writing them down. I will explain that fully,

487
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: but it's also about creating that framework and that structure, because,

488
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: like I think, if I then say Beck, what's your structure,

489
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, I don't have one. Okay, well you're

490
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,400
Speaker 2: setting yourself up to fail. I can give you the structure.

491
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 2: So we need to be super clear on that goal.

492
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,200
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what it is. To make your goals

493
00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 2: actually achievable and make your Delulu come true true, we're

494
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 2: going to focus on making them specific and actionable. Okay,

495
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 2: if you said my goal next year is to save

496
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 2: more cool, you're a ninety two percenter's I'm going to happen. Instead,

497
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: we are going to give ourselves a clear path forward.

498
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 2: So if you want to change that mindset, we're going

499
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 2: to say exactly what we want to accomplish, down to

500
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 2: the sum that you want to see in your bank

501
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 2: account on a specific date, and things you're going to

502
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: do to make that happen. So if you said, by

503
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,720
Speaker 2: the end of next year, I want a thousand dollars

504
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: additional in my emergency fund, and I'm going to make

505
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: that happen by transferring nineteen dollars every single week to

506
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,120
Speaker 2: that account. It's probably going to happen. Yeah, you automated it.

507
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 2: Do you know how that's not going to happen? Back

508
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 2: is if you go in and manually cancel that direct

509
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 2: debit like otherwise, it's actually set, it's golden, it's good

510
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 2: to go. So another example, say you want to save

511
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 2: two grand for a holiday, and you're going to put

512
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 2: aside one hundred bucks every payday and you're going to

513
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: cut out on dining AUP. You're making a plan, you're

514
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 2: putting it aside. But I reckon the real magic in

515
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: saving is direct debiting because like, you're actually in control

516
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: of it. It's not the bank, it doesn't cost you anything,

517
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 2: nobody else is getting involved. You are setting up an

518
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 2: automation on your banking. And the cool thing about direct debits,

519
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 2: I think so many of us have this connection with

520
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,199
Speaker 2: direct debits in our head that they're just for bills

521
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 2: and stuff, Like you signed a form and the electricity

522
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,960
Speaker 2: bill took it out of your account or your phone

523
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 2: bill did the same thing. You can actually go in

524
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 2: to the settings on your bank cap and go I

525
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 2: would like to set up a direct debit for a dollar,

526
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 2: and I would like it going out of my account

527
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 2: every single day to this other account. It could be

528
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: with the same bank, it could be with a different bank, Like,

529
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. But you can set that up and

530
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 2: then if you need to, you can go in and

531
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 2: cancel that. But like, you can make a whole heap

532
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 2: of rules, like you don't even have to have one

533
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 2: big one. You could be like, okay, cool, So every month,

534
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 2: maybe this nineteen dollars. You're like, I'd like to feel

535
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 2: like it's ten bucks. So instead every payday, Beck, I'm

536
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 2: going to have fifty bucks come out on payday and

537
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,360
Speaker 2: go into that account and then every other week, ten

538
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: bucks is going to direct it.

539
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

540
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 2: That doesn't feel so bad, does it. That feels it's

541
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: still one thousand dollars. Wow. So if I said, oh,

542
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,640
Speaker 2: you see that, director, but it's ten bucks that goes

543
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 2: to your savings every single week and fifty bucks comes

544
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 2: out on payday, yeah, are you going to go in

545
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: and actually cancel that?

546
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 3: Probably not, But I'm going to take it out at

547
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 3: some point.

548
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fine. It's of a coffee, that's fine. But

549
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 2: we're setting up these behaviors to be as successful as possible.

550
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: And that way you know exactly how much you're saving,

551
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 2: when to save it, and what changes you need to

552
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 2: make to reach that goal. Sure, if after a month

553
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 2: back you're like, I have not enough cash in my bank,

554
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 2: well we might go in and shift that and go, well,

555
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 2: maybe it's not one thousand dollars by Christmas, it's five

556
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 2: hundred bucks by Christmas. It's not actually a wish anymore.

557
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 2: It's a plan that is in action. Yeah.

558
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 3: And also, like five hundred dollars, fifty dollars whatever, it's

559
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 3: better than zero dollars.

560
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 2: I promise feach to you like it's Christmas Day. So

561
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,119
Speaker 2: I know that if I said to most of you,

562
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:00,920
Speaker 2: if you had an extra five hundred bucks this Christmas time,

563
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 2: how good would that feel? You'd be like, oh, what would

564
00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: have taken a lot of pressure off? We can do that. Yeah,

565
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:08,360
Speaker 2: fifty bucks a month this time next year.

566
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 3: You are going to be focused on the festivities and

567
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 3: the good feels and the warmth, and you're not going

568
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 3: to be anxious. You're not gonna be stressed. I'm kind

569
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 3: of talking to myself, but I'm talking to everyone else.

570
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 2: We're manifesting that for everybody we are, we are with

571
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. So I feel like I'm starting to

572
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:22,760
Speaker 2: convince you.

573
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, genuinely feeling motivated.

574
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Okay, let's stay on that. So I want

575
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:30,479
Speaker 2: you to also make a mindset shift, because remember how

576
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,280
Speaker 2: we said that we kind of throw the baby out

577
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: with bath water earlier in the episode. If you spend

578
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,160
Speaker 2: fifty bucks out, then you throw four hundred and fifty

579
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:40,520
Speaker 2: away because you're like, what's the point of saving. We're

580
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: gonna have to do a pretty good mindset shift here,

581
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 2: and we're gonna shift our mindset from perfection to progress. Okay,

582
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 2: So a plethora of different studies back show that being

583
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 2: flexible and allowing for like small missteps can significantly improve

584
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 2: long term habit formation. Okay, that's kind of cool. You

585
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 2: don't convinced, but I felt you set a goal to

586
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 2: save two hundred bucks a month. Sure, you're going to

587
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,000
Speaker 2: cut back on takeout, You're gonna not go shopping. Then

588
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 2: one weekend it's exactly like the pub you splurwd you

589
00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: on dinner and a shopping spree. You go ham, you

590
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 2: spend a whole two hundred bucks. Instead of thinking I

591
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,399
Speaker 2: have blown it? Why bother? You're gonna pause. You're going

592
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 2: to acknowledge, Yeah, like that wasn't in budget, here's what

593
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,959
Speaker 2: it is, and then we're just going to adjust. Like

594
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,520
Speaker 2: maybe you go, all right, well, I did go out

595
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 2: for dinner this week, had the twenty eight dollars Palmer.

596
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: It made my eyes water. I had plans V and

597
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 2: I We're going to catch up next week for dinner.

598
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 2: I'm actually going to text VT and say, hey, can

599
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,640
Speaker 2: we just do dinner next month? Need to reschedule? Or

600
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: hey can we just go for a walk around the

601
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 2: tan and grab a coffee? And then you're gonna put

602
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 2: that money into savings instead. So we're going to make

603
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 2: it up somehow, Okay, We're going to like think strategically

604
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 2: about like how do I change this slip up from

605
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 2: being a bit of a slip up to like not

606
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 2: actually missing a beat this month? And if it's not possible,

607
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: that's okay. We can have some level of self compassion

608
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 2: and be like I'm still on track, Like I'm doing

609
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 2: really well and if an opportunity arises that I could

610
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 2: chuck an extra fifty bucks into my savings, I'm going

611
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: to try and take it. But I'm not going to

612
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 2: let one set back completely derail our progress of achieving

613
00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,000
Speaker 2: that goal. Yeah, there's more research because I feel like

614
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 2: research helps. I feel like research makes us feel like

615
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:25,000
Speaker 2: it's not just us.

616
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, too validating.

617
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,840
Speaker 2: I feel like it's validating. But it's also like, oh, Beck,

618
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: we've never had an original experience. It turns out a

619
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 2: much us. So some research from the University of California

620
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 2: found that people who practice self compassion so they're kind

621
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 2: to themselves after experiencing setbacks, are far more likely to

622
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 2: persist with their goals.

623
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 3: That's really kid sentence, but it's.

624
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 2: Also like, I'm not very self compassionate. We're compassionate to

625
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: one another, but like self talk, the amount of stuff

626
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: I say to myself in my head that is unhinged.

627
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: If I said that aloud to you, honestly jailable, you'd

628
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 2: be canceled right, Like how many times you'd be like

629
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,560
Speaker 2: I can't believe I X y Z. But by acknowledging

630
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 2: our slip up without self criticism, I'm not gonna say

631
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 2: it's easy. It's like a muscle. We've got to practice it.

632
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 2: These people are able to maintain their motivation and maintain

633
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 2: their confidence, which helps them stay committed to their habits,

634
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: so we want to reframe it. I often ask myself,

635
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 2: would I be comfortable saying that to my best friend? Yes,

636
00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 2: so that's your complete sidetrack. But me, after having Harvey,

637
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 2: I feel like it's a shit show with your hormones

638
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: and your mental health and whatnot. I kept trying to

639
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 2: fact check myself and being like, would I say this

640
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,560
Speaker 2: to a friend? Absolutely, I wouldn't. Why am I saying

641
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: it to myself?

642
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:44,959
Speaker 3: Like?

643
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 2: Why am I YEA being so nasty to me?

644
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,360
Speaker 3: And if you like pretend that you are a different person,

645
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 3: like say, there's you, the physical being, the vessel that

646
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 3: holds everything together, and the you that you're talking to

647
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,520
Speaker 3: when you slip up up, you know, the different.

648
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 2: People telling me so like Beck, you went out to

649
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 2: the pub twenty eight dollars parmer, You're internally being like,

650
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 2: I'm such a idiot. I can't believe it. Can't be bothered.

651
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,640
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say like I just do it

652
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 2: again next month. Imagine if you picked up the phone. Heyve,

653
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,480
Speaker 2: guess what I've done. What would I say?

654
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 3: You would be very kind?

655
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 2: And what would I tell you to do?

656
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 3: You would say rest reset.

657
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 2: You deserved it, babe. Was it a good parma?

658
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 3: Exactly?

659
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: Twenty eight bucks? Was it extra crispy? It's going to

660
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: be worth it whatever your source was, homemade, Like, I'm

661
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 2: going to ask you, oa pama, Yeah, and I'm going

662
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: to go that doesn't matter. No, you had a good time.

663
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 2: We're still going to save four or fifty bucks. Yeah,

664
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 2: and you go, oh yeah, that's a good point. Tell

665
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 2: your friend to yourself. Totally great, Corby, And that segway

666
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 2: is really nicely into my next point, which you've heard

667
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:50,760
Speaker 2: of accountability, buddies.

668
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 3: I have until right now, Yes you have. Maybe I've

669
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 3: heard a different version of what you're about to say.

670
00:31:56,640 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 2: Surely, but there is science behind having an accountabiit, buddy.

671
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 3: Sure someone that's going to keep you on track. No

672
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 3: in the mean way, just in a.

673
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 2: No, but yeah, I could you exactly. It's like I

674
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 2: go to pilates, but I only want to go to

675
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: polarates when Jess is going to pilarates. So she texts

676
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 2: me and tells me what classes she's going to book

677
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 2: into and then I book in those ones, and then

678
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 2: I feel bad if I don't go because Jess is

679
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:20,840
Speaker 2: going and I told her I was going instant accountability partner.

680
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: But again, I'm bringing the receipts to the table because

681
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,600
Speaker 2: research from the American Society of Training and Development found

682
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,880
Speaker 2: that people are sixty five percent more likely to achieve

683
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 2: a goal. These are some big numbers of this episode

684
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 2: after committing to somebody else. However, there's a little caveat here.

685
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 2: The success rate jumps to ninety five percent when they

686
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 2: have a specific accountability appointment or check in. Yeah, I

687
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 2: do agree. You tell me you're going to do something, Yeah,

688
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 2: probably going to try. Let's go back to the savings example. Yeah,

689
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: so the nineteen dollars you said before, Yeah, I'm probably

690
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: going to do that. That sounds pretty good. But if

691
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: I kept checking in on you, have you've done that? Big?

692
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 3: I'm stressed of this hypothetical thought.

693
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I got to do it. I won't. I

694
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:06,280
Speaker 2: don't want to stress you.

695
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 3: I'm nineteen dollars.

696
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: You can send. The ongoing commitment reinforces dedication and follow through.

697
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 3: I should say too, like I just got a Pete.

698
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 3: I know a lot of people can't afford that, and

699
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: that's so so so reasonablecause it's very expensive. But I

700
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 3: think that if you don't have like a buddy, you're

701
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: a friend, like because not a lot of people are

702
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 3: surrounded by you know, those kind of people. If you

703
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 3: sign up to any Time Finners and you tell the receptionist, hey,

704
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 3: can you hold me accountable? Or like I'm telling you

705
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,479
Speaker 3: right now, I'm going to be here tomorrow.

706
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 2: Find someone in the Shoes on the Money Commune, find

707
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 2: anyone anywhere anytime. I'm going to make a post in

708
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 2: the Shehes on the Money community, probably way before this

709
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 2: episode comes out, because I'm excited about this, Like it'll

710
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,680
Speaker 2: be like a find an accountability buddy yep. Like you

711
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: can find a friend and even if you won't meet

712
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: in person, you could like text each other or Facebook

713
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 2: messenger each other and like be like, hey, cool, I

714
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: just wanted to check in on your goal, and then

715
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 2: like you can do it for each of you.

716
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 3: Yes.

717
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 2: But another good example of this is say you and

718
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: a friend you both to go to Europe this summer.

719
00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: Sounds pretty good, sounds great. It's gonna cost five grand

720
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 2: each instead of just keeping a casual. You're gonna set

721
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,800
Speaker 2: up a weekly check in. It doesn't have to be serious.

722
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 2: We don't have to go out for this, but like,

723
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 2: maybe you put an alarm on your phone text Beck

724
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:17,240
Speaker 2: about Europe. Easy, but you're going to set up weekly

725
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 2: check ins to track your progress together. So then when

726
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 2: I set this alarm in my phone text Beck about Europe,

727
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,359
Speaker 2: I'm going to be like, hey, how's your savings going

728
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 2: for Europe. You can be like, oh my god, thank

729
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,719
Speaker 2: god Ve text me and reminded me I haven't transferred.

730
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 2: Oh okay, but it's more likely to happen, So then

731
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,799
Speaker 2: you can share how much you saved that week, or

732
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: like you swap tips for skipping takeout, or imagine you

733
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 2: wanted to go out and we both suffering. I don't

734
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 2: know if that's the right way to put it, put whatever,

735
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,720
Speaker 2: but I'm like, oh, Beck, like I haven't saved anything

736
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 2: this week and I was meant to go out. Maybe

737
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: I should say no, And you go, oh my god,

738
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:52,919
Speaker 2: I'm going to have to do the same thing. We're

739
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,320
Speaker 2: both wallowing in our own sadness together and it's gonna

740
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 2: be successful.

741
00:34:58,320 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 3: I agree.

742
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 2: It makes me feel better that you are not able

743
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 2: to go out either because like so cold. But know,

744
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 2: when you're accountable to one another makes it so much

745
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 2: harder to like slack off and then keeps you motivated.

746
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 2: Plus you're gonna celebrate wins and you're probably gonna have

747
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: a little bit of a laugh over some setbacks, making

748
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 2: the journey a lot more fun. And like when you

749
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,160
Speaker 2: finally achieve it together, you're like, yeah, we did this,

750
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: Like can you believe it? Like do you remember you

751
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 2: can be sary? We were so bad at this, but

752
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,440
Speaker 2: we still did it. Like we're so proud of ourselves.

753
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 2: This idea of accountability and I guess support is one

754
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 2: of the biggest reasons why I started cheese on the money.

755
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 2: So hard to do money when you're doing it on

756
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 2: your own.

757
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's very true.

758
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,240
Speaker 2: Text me and be like, b I bought a Palmer

759
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, oh my god, I actually went

760
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: out and I bought the sweet treats and.

761
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 3: Oh makes you feel good. You're like, Okay, well I'm not.

762
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 2: I'm not that bad. But both of us, maybe next

763
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 2: week we're gonna have to cut back on coffee because

764
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,719
Speaker 2: like we really need to bump that up because this

765
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 2: week we're both a bit naughty. You're more likely to

766
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 2: do those small goals settingtivities then you are to not.

767
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 2: And I think it's all of the small, tiny things

768
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 2: along the way. Like I didn't even know I could

769
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: put an alarm in my phone that says every week

770
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 2: at like six pm on a Wednesday, text Beck about

771
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,600
Speaker 2: Europe Savings. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, okay, Like

772
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 2: and then you text and you're like, oh my god. Yeah, Actually,

773
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 2: I've been thinking about that, Like small things that push

774
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,239
Speaker 2: you in the right direction. What does that go back

775
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:30,200
Speaker 2: to beck automation. So it's not just automating your direct debts,

776
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 2: it's putting calendar reminders in, it's trying to keep accountable.

777
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,879
Speaker 2: It's making those relationships part of the framework, and that's

778
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 2: going to help.

779
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 3: I love that when I put like an alarm on

780
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 3: and I've labeled it something, I even get stressed at

781
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 3: the thought of my old self telling me my now

782
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 3: self to do this thing. So even if you just

783
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 3: have like some sort of automation where you're like your

784
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,239
Speaker 3: phone's buzzing, it's reminding you to send two dollars to

785
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 3: your savings, it's like, okay, I'm going to do it.

786
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 3: Just leave me alone.

787
00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 2: Please stop it.

788
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 3: I genuinely am feeling so motivated to set my own

789
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 3: Newyear's goals. I just feel like you've had some effect

790
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,440
Speaker 3: on ev I hope.

791
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: So, because I've been drying really hard. It is. And

792
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 2: I don't think it's a secret that I am a

793
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 2: goal setting girl, like I am kind of like a

794
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 2: bull with a red flag, like I'm going to go

795
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,799
Speaker 2: for it. But I also have the privilege of having

796
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:24,279
Speaker 2: a background in psychology, so I have learned a long

797
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 2: my career and my journey what it actually takes to

798
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:32,080
Speaker 2: turn goals from which we're thinking into something real and

799
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 2: something relatable. And it's all about kind of understanding how

800
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 2: you're wired and then working with that because goal setting

801
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 2: for lots of different people doesn't work, and you need

802
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 2: to find a framework that works for you. I have

803
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 2: been very open I have ADHD And maybe you're like, oh, V,

804
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,000
Speaker 2: that sounds insane, Like I don't need calendar reminders, I

805
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,279
Speaker 2: don't need direct debits. I don't need, you know, to

806
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 2: put an alarm in my phone to remember these things.

807
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: Good for you better at it than I am. But

808
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,479
Speaker 2: a little tools and tips and tricks that I've learned

809
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 2: along the timeline that have helped me be successful, and

810
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 2: I'm hoping that they might be able to help you.

811
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 2: Neurotypical or neurodiverse, it doesn't matter. But like sharing is

812
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 2: going to mean that you've got something else to ponder,

813
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,640
Speaker 2: and you might go, that doesn't work, throw that out.

814
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 2: But this other tip and trick that I learned because

815
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that is going to work.

816
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 3: We're all heading in the right direction. Well for you

817
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 3: like a perfect mix of hyphperman and strategist.

818
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 2: You just got me a strategist. That's very exciting. And

819
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do a little bit of a

820
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 2: shameless plug here please because it's twenty twenty Thrive and

821
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,719
Speaker 2: last year I released the Best Year Yet course. Do

822
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,720
Speaker 2: you remember when I did that and it was wildly

823
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: popular and I didn't realize. I just thought it would

824
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 2: be really fun to do like a full goal setting

825
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 2: and motivating session with the community, and then it kind

826
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:55,879
Speaker 2: of extrapolated out into a whole course over a number

827
00:38:55,960 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: of weeks, and I've decided to bring it back this year. Yeah.

828
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,319
Speaker 2: So I designed it to help literally anybody, so whether

829
00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 2: you are like saving or you're paying off debt, or

830
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,040
Speaker 2: you just want to go to the gym. More, it's

831
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:12,239
Speaker 2: about setting realistic goals and then sticking to them with confidence.

832
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,200
Speaker 2: And then I'm your accountability partner, and I think so

833
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 2: many of us don't have accountability partners, and like, I

834
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 2: get very excited that you might want me to be yours.

835
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 2: I'm not just going to help you set goals. I'm

836
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 2: going to teach you why, how, what, when where. I'm

837
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 2: also going to go through the psychology of your personal

838
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: values and the life that you want to create. And

839
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 2: it can be a little bit confronting, but we're even

840
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 2: going to talk about what's been holding you back. Then,

841
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 2: after I've taught you all of that and we've gone

842
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 2: through that content, because it's actually a bit of a

843
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 2: chunky course, I then pair that with I guess you

844
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,160
Speaker 2: could call it some deep work with stacks of actionable tips.

845
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 2: Because I wanted everything to be super useful. It's also beckside. No,

846
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 2: it's super aesthetic. I got my graphic designer to make

847
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 2: all of your activity sheets and all the course. Like,

848
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: I didn't just draw this on and and then be like, oh,

849
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,439
Speaker 2: here is a good idea. My graphic designer has made

850
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 2: this look so slay, but it helps to break big

851
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,520
Speaker 2: goals into really manageable steps, helps you to stay accountable

852
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 2: and make sure that you have a very clear path

853
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 2: towards being successful. I have just started reading all of

854
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 2: the feedback from the people that did this course in January.

855
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,359
Speaker 2: So many of them are like, oh my god, without this,

856
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,920
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have achieved it. Without this, I will purchase

857
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,560
Speaker 2: my house, I got out of debt. Like, there are

858
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 2: so many good stories, which is why I was like,

859
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 2: we have to do it again. So it's basically everything

860
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 2: that you need to make twenty twenty five your best

861
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:39,360
Speaker 2: year yet. Yeah, lovely thrive in twenty twenty five. That's lovely.

862
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:42,480
Speaker 3: Well honestly sounds like they go up. We all need.

863
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 3: So if you're ready to finally join the elusive eight

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Speaker 3: percent I am who actually crush their new year's goals,

865
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Speaker 3: head to our website or hit the link in our

866
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Speaker 3: show notes.

867
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Speaker 2: Oh I love it. Happy twenty twenty.

868
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 3: Five, Guys, Happy twenty twenty five.

869
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

870
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871
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877
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