WEBVTT - Pulling an ASK UNCUT switcheroonie 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:16.720 Oh my god, stop it. Britty just flashed my head 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:20.560 titties again. They do it great, Hi guys, and welcome 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:23.079 back to another episode of Life on Cut. And now 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:26.400 we've had to do a little switcheroo this week because 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:30.360 Brittany here has lost her voice. We're almost lost a voice. 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:32.760 She's got a throat infection. So instead of doing our 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.360 main episode today, we decided that we would go for 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:37.640 our short, sharp, down and dirty episode and we would 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.200 do our ask uncut on a Tuesday, just to really 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:43.880 throw a spanner in the works and keep you guessing. 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:48.879 Guys, I do have I do have a throat infection, 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:51.720 like a really hardcore throat infection. And like I just 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:54.960 want to reiterate, it's not hurting me to talk very much, 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.560 but I don't want to put you guys through an 0:00:57.680 --> 0:01:00.120 hour of listening to this voice. And if you guys 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.680 new to Life on Cut, welcome, and I do not 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.840 sound like this. I want you to know normally, if 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.160 you're a new Life on Cut listener, it gets better. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:08.840 You gotta love it when someone rocks up to your 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:10.800 house during the middle of a pandemic and says, I've 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:12.840 got a really bad throat infection, but I'm fine to 0:01:12.880 --> 0:01:15.639 record the episode. I was like, ah, are you fine? 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:18.320 Should you bring my house? Why are you holding my children? 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:19.880 You should see it. This is like this big white, 0:01:19.920 --> 0:01:23.960 dangly thing. So good. But no, this is how dedicated 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:25.560 we are to you guys. We don't want to leave 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:27.240 you with our an episode, but we thought the best 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:29.040 we could do for you this week is just switch 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:30.880 them around. So you're just gonna listen to the ask 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.200 on cut this week. But enough about that. How are 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.560 you Laura? Somebody had the Big three five birthday. 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.039 I was like, it's thirty five even the thing. Yes, 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:44.240 I turned thirty five on the weekend. Actually, and I 0:01:44.280 --> 0:01:47.199 turned thirty five on Friday last week. I was keeping 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:49.200 it to myself. It was a bit low key. It 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:51.320 didn't look lowkey across Instagram. I went out for the 0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:53.120 lunch and then I went out for dinner, But in 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:56.040 comparison to past years, it was pretty low key. I 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:58.840 did lunch with my sister and then Matt took me 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:00.800 out for a really nice dinner. We had Nana common 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:02.600 babysit the kids, and it was the first time we 0:02:02.720 --> 0:02:04.440 left the house with any children and we were kind 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:05.559 of like what do we do now? 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:08.680 You looked beautiful. I must say that on your Instagram. 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:10.680 I think it's because like, you don't dress off or 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:12.440 go out and mush anymore, and I only ever see 0:02:12.560 --> 0:02:14.160 like this, So when I see dressed up, I'm like, 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:15.200 damn shorty. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.560 Also, an aggressive filter goes a very, very long way. 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:20.600 A little bit of a little bit of light tuning 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:22.600 and an aggressive filter. Also when you've had a shower 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.280 and you've brushed your hair, people, especially like once you've 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.240 just been in like the den and the soup of 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:29.280 living in your own filter for six weeks after having 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:31.120 a kid, The moment that you have a shower and 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:35.080 put makeup on, people like, oh my god, you look beautiful. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:37.680 You're like, no, yeah, not really. 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:40.359 It's just a vast comparison to what you used to 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:41.799 when the vomit's not in my hair. 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:43.200 It really goes a long way. 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:46.600 Speaking of that, my daughter literally just did an explosive 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.360 diary poop on the couch before we walked in here 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:50.840 to record, and I was like, you know what, honey, 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:52.960 you can do with that, And so Matt is currently 0:02:53.000 --> 0:02:55.959 cleaning up breastfed baby yellow poop. 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:57.639 It was the best thing, right, We're both sitting in 0:02:57.639 --> 0:03:00.480 the lounge as she does a little poopy and goes, oh, 0:03:00.520 --> 0:03:01.960 do you want to tell to put under a Laura 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:04.240 is like, now I think she's done famous last words. 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:07.360 Then she shoots this diarrhea and I'm talking like, shoots 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:09.600 out and goes down. The crack of the couch is everywhere, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:13.280 and we're dying. And then my favorite part, guys, I've 0:03:13.320 --> 0:03:17.880 been waiting seven weeks for this moment to happen. Laura, 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:20.680 she picked up Lola after this and she goes, so 0:03:21.120 --> 0:03:23.960 little Lola Derby and I was like, oh my god, 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:26.200 it's happened. I've waited my whole life. At this moment, 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:28.680 her nickname is the al Lola Derby and I'll be 0:03:28.680 --> 0:03:31.400 forever ingrained into your family even if we break up. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.080 I feel sorry for my child. That's true. Okay, But 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:37.040 before we get into that's enough about my child and diarrhea. 0:03:37.040 --> 0:03:38.880 And you know, we got in there really quickly. But 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:42.480 before we get into the questions for today's episode, all 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.520 of the things that you've been asking and sending in, 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:47.000 I want to bring up something that happened last night 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.480 on Maths. I'm not you're going to talk about sex 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:51.480 or something I want to break up. Something happened last night. 0:03:51.640 --> 0:03:53.720 It's something different for this podcast. I usually talk about 0:03:53.760 --> 0:03:55.760 my sex life. So you guys were recording this on 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.920 Monday morning. Normally we recorded over the weekend, but because 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:00.720 BRIT's been a bit sick, we have to push it back. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.760 And last night on Sunday night, I'm sure a lot 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:07.200 of you watched the Maths episode where Bryce wrote leave, 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:09.360 then he crossed it out and wrote stay, and it 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:11.640 was very controversial. And everyone has a lot of thoughts 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.000 and feelings, but nobody has as many thoughts and feelings 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:15.800 as I do on the matter. Let me tell you. 0:04:15.760 --> 0:04:18.400 This, we love a good thought and feeling session on 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:18.880 life on. 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:22.479 Cut I was so mad and I was so mad, 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:24.039 and I know that a lot of people who watched 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:27.520 it you would understand the reason why we were also 0:04:27.680 --> 0:04:29.840 mad and the level of manipulation that goes into this. 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.440 But Britt doesn't really watch that much Maths, and so 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.440 I kind of wanted to explain to her something about 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.560 it that has sat with me so wrong. And the 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.800 issue with Bryce and Melissa's relationship this whole time is 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:46.800 that Melissa seems to fundamentally have such low self worth 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:49.359 that she's willing to put up with whatever it is 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:53.000 that Bryce does because she is petrified of him leaving her. 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:55.719 That's the dynamic of their relationship that we've all seen 0:04:55.760 --> 0:04:58.599 play out so far. The thing that really pissed me 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:01.120 off about him writing leave last night was just another 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:05.640 step and another little way of further manipulating her and 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:10.440 creating what is called trauma bonding. So basically, imagine if 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:13.479 your boyfriend or your girlfriend does something that upsets you 0:05:13.520 --> 0:05:16.360 and hurts you. Maybe they've cheated, maybe they just whatever, 0:05:16.400 --> 0:05:18.000 they just haven't listened to you and they didn't take 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:20.240 the washing out and hurt your feelings, whatever it is. 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:24.039 Imagine that you approach them about something that they have 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:27.520 done wrong and you're upset about it, and instead of 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:31.120 them apologizing, and instead of them understanding listening to what 0:05:31.160 --> 0:05:34.160 you have to say, they flip the narrative and say, oh, 0:05:34.200 --> 0:05:37.040 it's just you know what, you're so upset, it's too hard. 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:40.680 I'm gonna leave because it's better for you if I leave, 0:05:40.760 --> 0:05:43.839 because clearly I'm such a bad person. And instead of 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:47.680 taking ownership and taking any responsibility, it's this gas lighting 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.159 and turning it around so that the person who is 0:05:50.200 --> 0:05:52.080 actually the one who's been wronged in the first place, 0:05:52.120 --> 0:05:55.240 who is owed, and apology goes, oh, I'm so sorry. 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:56.920 I made a big deal about it. I'm so sorry. 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.520 Don't leave. What Bryce is doing to Melissa is that 0:05:59.520 --> 0:06:02.360 because Melissa has been showing that she's upset on the couch, 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:05.159 because she's been showing her feelings, it's like he is 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.479 blaming her that this problem is being created, that everybody 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.400 is you know, all eyes are on them, and he thinks, well, 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.200 all eyes are on us because you keep getting upset. 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.480 And so the fact that he's written leave and then 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.039 written stay is sort of his way of going, you 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:21.559 made me do this, but you know what, I'm giving 0:06:21.560 --> 0:06:24.920 it another chance. And it is so evil. 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:28.719 Well it's a classic deflection manipulation technique, isn't it. It's 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:31.760 like also him trying to come off in this situation 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.120 like he's a hero, like I'm doing this for you, 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:36.960 the old you deserve better and that's why I'm doing it, 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:39.000 which is like I'm calling bullshit. People do that all 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:40.760 the time as an excuse when they do want to 0:06:40.800 --> 0:06:43.400 just leave as well. But the thing that gets me 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:47.280 with him writing leave and then writing stay. He wrote 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:49.200 leave at the top, which means there was room at 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:52.120 the bottom for him to write stay. It was premeditated. 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:53.440 He knew that he was going to write it. He 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:55.880 wanted the space to write stay. The other thing is 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.160 he one hundred percent knew that she was going to 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:59.960 say stay. He knew that was staying. There was no 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.120 benefit to him riding the leave and crossing it out. 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.240 The other thing is it sort of creates this bond 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.640 with them, and like you said, her self esteem is 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:09.360 so low and I really feel for her and she 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:11.520 needs to work on that. You can even see in 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:14.240 her body language, which she's always quite looking down. It's 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:16.760 almost like she's a shell of herself when she's with him, 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:21.320 which I hate to see. But he's creating this environment where, 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:24.080 like you just said, Laura, okay, I'll stay for you, 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:25.640 but I want you to know how close I was 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.360 to leaving, Like I'm you're on the cusp. So she's 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:30.840 going to be walking on eggshells even more because she 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:33.760 knows how close she was to leaving, And that in 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.440 itself is a technique. He's creating an environment where it's 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:37.760 like you don't know how good you have it and 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:39.560 how lucky I am to still be here kind of 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:42.320 a thing. So the poor thing is walking on eggshells 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:43.920 as it is, but she's going to be terrified now 0:07:43.960 --> 0:07:45.119 to put foot out of place. 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:47.160 And you know, obviously we don't know how much of 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:49.520 the show is edited, and like, let's give some level 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.240 of benefit of the data, even if it is a 0:07:51.280 --> 0:07:53.720 dumpster fire and it doesn't deserve it, but the thing 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:55.760 is and it's something that we advocate for so much 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:59.240 on this podcast. When you are so frightened of being 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:02.280 alone or having someone walk away, and you're so scared 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:04.480 of abandonment, and that is what drives you in a 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:08.200 relationship that allows you to lower your standards so far 0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:10.600 that you just don't have any standards anymore. And so 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.800 that's where I think we've gotten to with Melissa and Bryce. 0:08:12.800 --> 0:08:15.640 Melissa's standards have dropped and her self worth has dropped 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.200 to being so minimal that she would put up with 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.360 anything that he does and says because her fear of 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:24.280 him leaving her surpasses anything that she deserves for herself. 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.560 And like you said, Britt, it was the absolute telltale 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.480 sign when he wrote leave at the top, because like 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:32.400 what he was trying to say, was I wrote leave 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.280 and then I changed my mind. No, pal, you wrote 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.400 leave knowing that you were going to write stay, because 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.240 you wrote it specifically with enough space on the card 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:44.400 to change your mind in the middle. Shit. Yes, anyway, 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:47.160 Mass made us both very mad last night, and I 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.360 need a glass of wine and to sit down the show. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:51.240 Actually, I said this to Laura, like, I'm trying to 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:53.080 watch it now because I want to get on board 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:56.240 with these conversations. They are important conversations, but it just 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:59.240 I've never I don't even know. I can't pinpoint why 0:08:59.400 --> 0:09:02.680 the show is furiates me. I can't enjoy one bit 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:02.880 of it. 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:06.040 Wait, you don't enjoy people being vulnerable and like absolutely 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:08.680 decimating their self esteem and self worth. You don't find 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:09.400 that entertaining. 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:12.000 I think that's crazy. I know it so crazy. It 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:15.360 just infuriates me. And last night watching it, I look 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:16.920 at them and I know, guys, I've been on two 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.120 reality shows. I know that a lot is fabricated, and 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:20.720 I know there's a lot of manipulation, but there are 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:23.240 some things you cannot manipulate, like things they are what 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:25.280 they are. I'm trying to give a lot of people 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:27.760 the benefit of the doubt, but everyone's infuriating me, and 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:29.720 I feel like people are going in there trying to 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:31.960 start fires, and that infuriates me. 0:09:32.400 --> 0:09:35.400 Something that comes up every season on every reality TV 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:38.360 show is that people who portrayed badly always cry that 0:09:38.400 --> 0:09:41.079 it's the edit. There's always the conversation of the edit, 0:09:41.120 --> 0:09:43.840 the edit, the edit. I was really lovely person in there, 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.880 and I've been made to look like a villain. There 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:48.800 is only so much that can be achieved with an edit, 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:50.880 and I think that that's really important for people to 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.520 keep perspective on and also for people who are on 0:09:53.600 --> 0:09:56.880 the show to have some self reflection and some self awareness. 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.520 We all know how reality TV works now. The producer 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.680 is pushing you to do something or to say something 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.679 that goes against your moral compass. Have a spine and 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:07.160 say no. 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:07.800 You know. 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:09.800 There were plenty of times on The Bachelor where I 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:11.760 was asked or told and I know, the same thing 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.120 for you, Britt, to do or say something, and I 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:18.440 was like, no, absolutely not because it's fucking mean, and 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:20.120 you just don't do it. And then they go to 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:22.400 the next person ask somebody else to do it. The 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.760 thing that gets held over you is airtime so the 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:26.920 producers will say to you, well, if you do this 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:30.040 and you say this, you'll get more airtime. And what 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.800 people don't realize is that that's not always. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.720 A quation, you know, one airtime. There's a reason I 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:38.520 wasn't really shown on Bachelor Paradise. I walked off said 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:40.160 and quit the Bachelor at one point, which I've never 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.839 really spoken about. Towards the end, probably about three quarters through. 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:44.640 Because of that, I was like, this isn't me, this 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.680 isn't my storyline, and that's not what I'm going to do. 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:48.280 It's not what I'm about. I'm never gonna say this, 0:10:48.320 --> 0:10:50.480 and I was beside myself. So I quit the show. 0:10:50.520 --> 0:10:51.960 I was like I'm done, and I walked out and 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.320 they had to come and chase me and be like, 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:55.600 please don't go, and I was like, well, you need 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.080 to get on board with the fact that this is 0:10:57.120 --> 0:10:58.840 never going to happen, and like, I just want to 0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:01.199 fall in love. Just let me be a shadow in 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:02.640 the back and fucking form love. 0:11:02.880 --> 0:11:05.360 Yeah, totally. So I do think most of us realize 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.440 this when we watch these shows, but be wary when 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:11.880 someone says and blames the edit entirely because you know, 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:14.920 you can only cut and paste so much of someone's personality. 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.319 If the person is still choosing to say and do things, 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:20.679 especially if they're talking director camera, then that says a 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:22.199 lot about the person themselves. 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.720 I do want to say though, and like this is true, 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.160 Like Laura said, the villains are the villains ninety nine 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.400 percent of the time, and they have said these things. 0:11:30.480 --> 0:11:33.080 What I will say, and in their defense, is it 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.520 can be made to look a lot worse a lot 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.800 of the time. But they are that role and usually 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.920 they are that character. They give the producers so much already, 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:42.640 but it can be made to look a lot worse. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.760 I will say that we're not just like throwing these 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:46.800 people under the bus as well. But yeah, just know 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:48.760 that if someone said something, they've said it. 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:51.200 Yeah, I mean, I totally totally agree with that. But 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:54.560 at the same time, fucking Bryce, I can't wait. 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:56.520 I'm actually gonna watch this week. We will talk about 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.640 it a lot more on Thursday's episode because I think 0:11:58.679 --> 0:12:02.240 something explosive will happen them next week. Their storyline is 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:03.320 far from over. 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:05.880 Anyways, Let's get into the question guys. Thank you so 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:08.080 much to everybody who has written in questions for today 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:11.520 Brittany has chosen four questions and we're gonna kick it 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:12.280 off with number one. 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:14.360 I'm gonna make Lauristar number one. My throat needs a 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:14.880 little rest. 0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:19.280 Okay. Number one is so, guys, I've been dating this 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:23.400 guy for the past four months and he is wonderful. Honestly, 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.720 on paper, he seems to tick all of my boxes 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:29.160 and I have fallen in deep. The problem is is 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.560 that recently he has been talking a lot about different 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:37.800 conspiracy theories. Oh fuck, run, and I'm starting to think 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.920 that maybe this isn't a one off thing and he 0:12:40.000 --> 0:12:42.280 has just been keeping this part of his identity a 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:44.920 bit of a secret. What would you do if you 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:47.840 found out your partner was fully into conspiracy theories? 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:50.720 I find this really funny. 0:12:50.800 --> 0:12:51.360 Fucking run. 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.800 My immute reaction is like ty up your joggers and 0:12:54.840 --> 0:12:57.400 get out of there. But no, Look, this has few 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.920 different levels because I have friends that I mean not 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:01.920 close friends. I have acquaintances and people I used to 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.640 work with that are conspiracy theorists. Some of them it 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.560 doesn't bother me when they have an opinion. I sometimes 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.840 find it amusing when it's like, really like the world 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:12.319 is flat, They're like Oh, it's cute. 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.000 Think Aliens made the Pyramids adorable. 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:17.360 Totally, Like COVID is fake. That shit annoys me when 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.560 people are spreading fake news, like Pete Evans, for example, 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:23.120 I couldn't stand that I would divorce Pete Evans in 0:13:23.160 --> 0:13:26.000 a second because that's actually putting people's like it's so dumb, 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.320 it's so far fetch, and it's putting people's lives in danger. 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:31.880 When people just have their own thoughts and opinions and 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.040 it's cute. They tell you can have a laugh if 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:36.959 it's not affecting your day to day relationship, or you're 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:39.400 not arguing about it, or you know, it's not making 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.160 you lose sleep at night. I think it's fine. It's 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:45.000 just when someone's life starts to change. Like I had 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:48.240 some friends that literally and like this is quite funny. 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.040 They thought the world was going to end and they 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.160 had an end of the world pack. They'd been packed 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:55.719 and ready to go, and the pack stayed at their 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:56.880 front door permanently. 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:58.440 It's like they were going to go to the hospital 0:13:58.520 --> 0:13:59.880 have the baby. They had their baby bag pack. 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:01.000 Was it endy weld bag? 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.400 Was this like a twenty twelve Mayan calendar? Thing like 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.120 when the twenty twelve end of world was supposed to 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:07.280 happen and then it never came. 0:14:07.360 --> 0:14:09.280 But did you know what, Yeah, it's exactly like that. 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.079 But they didn't have a date they were waiting for. 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:12.680 It was just sit in case the end of the 0:14:12.679 --> 0:14:15.520 world was coming. It had like cans of food and stuff, 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.200 all the things you would think. But then it had 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.440 and this is the funny thing. It had string and 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.920 like a rope in it. But the guy had done 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:23.600 like a rope course and knew how to tie all 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.360 these knots and stuff in case that they. 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:27.240 Had to like hike themselves up a tree. I don't 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:29.640 know what the rope was gonna do. Okay, wait, but 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.240 my question is do you think that somebody who has 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.080 an end of well bag at their front door is 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:37.720 the extreme end or do you think that that's okay? 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:39.720 Because I think I would have a real problem if 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:41.600 Matt wanted to keep a bag at the door in 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.240 case the zombie apocalypse was coming. 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.360 Like, my babe, it just doesn't go there. Asthetic in here. 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:47.200 We need to at least put it in the cupboard, 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:50.720 like come on, Look, there are some conspiracy theories that 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.880 are obviously less harmful than others. Exactly what you've said, 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.560 brid but you need to be very aligned on your 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.720 core beliefs with your partner. And if your partner is 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.880 a conspiracy theorist or believes in things that are very 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.600 contradictory to what you believe, then I think that that 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:07.880 is going to cause problems down the path. And the 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:09.840 other part of this as well is you don't know 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:11.560 how deep they are in I think you need to 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:13.760 kind of figure that out, and if they haven't been 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.880 fully transparent with you about this, figure out how deep 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.680 their belief system lies, Like what is it? What political 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.960 views do they have, what religious views do they have? 0:15:22.040 --> 0:15:24.320 Not just around conspiracy theories, but these are all things 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:26.360 that you need to be on some level on the 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:30.760 same page with because they are core parts of a relationship. 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:32.560 They're parts of what you're going to have this conversation. 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.560 They're also parts of how you're going to raise children 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:37.280 if you do decide to have kids, Like they're really 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.680 really integral to having long term relationship. And I think 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.680 you can get so deep in how you feel about 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:44.800 someone before actually looking at who you are as people 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:46.960 and whether you are well suited. And it doesn't sound 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:49.320 like necessarily you're well suited. It sounds like there's a 0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:51.360 lot of chemistry, but there's a lot of shit wrong 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:51.880 here as well. 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:53.960 Yeah, I one hundred percent agree if it's in a sense, 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:56.240 as an example, if it's like I believe that the 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.480 Aliens made the pyramids, fucking lols, Like have a loll 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.200 and be like okay, babe, Like whatever works. If it's 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:04.640 something more serious, like COVID is fake, or you can 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.800 buy this fifteen thousand dollars lamp to cure COVID. 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:09.680 Or qan On even like there's a lot of dangerous 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.360 stuff that's coming out of q and On, you know, Like, 0:16:11.400 --> 0:16:14.320 I think that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, 0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:15.960 and like we can sit here and say what we 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.479 think is conspiracy theories and what we think is acceptable. 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:20.960 That's our personal views. But at the end of the day, 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.040 we are going to date people who have similar views 0:16:23.080 --> 0:16:24.880 to us. Whether those views are right or wrong, and 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.800 whether your partner's views are right or wrong, or whether 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.680 he is that youit crazy, that's irrelevant. I think the 0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:32.520 main thing here is that you need to be on 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.360 the same page with stuff, and there is only a 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.200 few things that you can really deviate that, Like, there's 0:16:37.200 --> 0:16:40.440 only a few conspiracy theories that are not so harmful 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.320 that they're going to cause problems in your relationships. 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.240 I like what you just said, Laura, and like just 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.480 to reiterate on that. If you do start to put 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.720 it in the same category when someone has feelings that 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:50.520 are that strong about conspiracy, if you put in the 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.960 same category as things like religion, you do have to 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:55.760 think long term if it's going to be compatible with 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.400