Speaker 1: Oh my god, stop it. Britty just flashed my head
Speaker 1: titties again. They do it great, Hi guys, and welcome
Speaker 1: back to another episode of Life on Cut. And now
Speaker 1: we've had to do a little switcheroo this week because
Speaker 1: Brittany here has lost her voice. We're almost lost a voice.
Speaker 1: She's got a throat infection. So instead of doing our
Speaker 1: main episode today, we decided that we would go for
Speaker 1: our short, sharp, down and dirty episode and we would
Speaker 1: do our ask uncut on a Tuesday, just to really
Speaker 1: throw a spanner in the works and keep you guessing.
Speaker 2: Guys, I do have I do have a throat infection,
Speaker 2: like a really hardcore throat infection. And like I just
Speaker 2: want to reiterate, it's not hurting me to talk very much,
Speaker 2: but I don't want to put you guys through an
Speaker 2: hour of listening to this voice. And if you guys
Speaker 2: new to Life on Cut, welcome, and I do not
Speaker 2: sound like this. I want you to know normally, if
Speaker 2: you're a new Life on Cut listener, it gets better.
Speaker 1: You gotta love it when someone rocks up to your
Speaker 1: house during the middle of a pandemic and says, I've
Speaker 1: got a really bad throat infection, but I'm fine to
Speaker 1: record the episode. I was like, ah, are you fine?
Speaker 1: Should you bring my house? Why are you holding my children?
Speaker 2: You should see it. This is like this big white,
Speaker 2: dangly thing. So good. But no, this is how dedicated
Speaker 2: we are to you guys. We don't want to leave
Speaker 2: you with our an episode, but we thought the best
Speaker 2: we could do for you this week is just switch
Speaker 2: them around. So you're just gonna listen to the ask
Speaker 2: on cut this week. But enough about that. How are
Speaker 2: you Laura? Somebody had the Big three five birthday.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's thirty five even the thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: I turned thirty five on the weekend. Actually, and I
Speaker 1: turned thirty five on Friday last week. I was keeping
Speaker 1: it to myself. It was a bit low key. It
Speaker 1: didn't look lowkey across Instagram. I went out for the
Speaker 1: lunch and then I went out for dinner, But in
Speaker 1: comparison to past years, it was pretty low key. I
Speaker 1: did lunch with my sister and then Matt took me
Speaker 1: out for a really nice dinner. We had Nana common
Speaker 1: babysit the kids, and it was the first time we
Speaker 1: left the house with any children and we were kind
Speaker 1: of like what do we do now?
Speaker 2: You looked beautiful. I must say that on your Instagram.
Speaker 2: I think it's because like, you don't dress off or
Speaker 2: go out and mush anymore, and I only ever see
Speaker 2: like this, So when I see dressed up, I'm like,
Speaker 2: damn shorty.
Speaker 1: Also, an aggressive filter goes a very, very long way.
Speaker 1: A little bit of a little bit of light tuning
Speaker 1: and an aggressive filter. Also when you've had a shower
Speaker 1: and you've brushed your hair, people, especially like once you've
Speaker 1: just been in like the den and the soup of
Speaker 1: living in your own filter for six weeks after having
Speaker 1: a kid, The moment that you have a shower and
Speaker 1: put makeup on, people like, oh my god, you look beautiful.
Speaker 2: You're like, no, yeah, not really.
Speaker 1: It's just a vast comparison to what you used to
Speaker 1: when the vomit's not in my hair.
Speaker 2: It really goes a long way.
Speaker 1: Speaking of that, my daughter literally just did an explosive
Speaker 1: diary poop on the couch before we walked in here
Speaker 1: to record, and I was like, you know what, honey,
Speaker 1: you can do with that, And so Matt is currently
Speaker 1: cleaning up breastfed baby yellow poop.
Speaker 2: It was the best thing, right, We're both sitting in
Speaker 2: the lounge as she does a little poopy and goes, oh,
Speaker 2: do you want to tell to put under a Laura
Speaker 2: is like, now I think she's done famous last words.
Speaker 2: Then she shoots this diarrhea and I'm talking like, shoots
Speaker 2: out and goes down. The crack of the couch is everywhere,
Speaker 2: and we're dying. And then my favorite part, guys, I've
Speaker 2: been waiting seven weeks for this moment to happen. Laura,
Speaker 2: she picked up Lola after this and she goes, so
Speaker 2: little Lola Derby and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it's happened. I've waited my whole life. At this moment,
Speaker 2: her nickname is the al Lola Derby and I'll be
Speaker 2: forever ingrained into your family even if we break up.
Speaker 1: I feel sorry for my child. That's true. Okay, But
Speaker 1: before we get into that's enough about my child and diarrhea.
Speaker 1: And you know, we got in there really quickly. But
Speaker 1: before we get into the questions for today's episode, all
Speaker 1: of the things that you've been asking and sending in,
Speaker 1: I want to bring up something that happened last night
Speaker 1: on Maths. I'm not you're going to talk about sex
Speaker 1: or something I want to break up. Something happened last night.
Speaker 1: It's something different for this podcast. I usually talk about
Speaker 1: my sex life. So you guys were recording this on
Speaker 1: Monday morning. Normally we recorded over the weekend, but because
Speaker 1: BRIT's been a bit sick, we have to push it back.
Speaker 1: And last night on Sunday night, I'm sure a lot
Speaker 1: of you watched the Maths episode where Bryce wrote leave,
Speaker 1: then he crossed it out and wrote stay, and it
Speaker 1: was very controversial. And everyone has a lot of thoughts
Speaker 1: and feelings, but nobody has as many thoughts and feelings
Speaker 1: as I do on the matter. Let me tell you.
Speaker 2: This, we love a good thought and feeling session on
Speaker 2: life on.
Speaker 1: Cut I was so mad and I was so mad,
Speaker 1: and I know that a lot of people who watched
Speaker 1: it you would understand the reason why we were also
Speaker 1: mad and the level of manipulation that goes into this.
Speaker 1: But Britt doesn't really watch that much Maths, and so
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to explain to her something about
Speaker 1: it that has sat with me so wrong. And the
Speaker 1: issue with Bryce and Melissa's relationship this whole time is
Speaker 1: that Melissa seems to fundamentally have such low self worth
Speaker 1: that she's willing to put up with whatever it is
Speaker 1: that Bryce does because she is petrified of him leaving her.
Speaker 1: That's the dynamic of their relationship that we've all seen
Speaker 1: play out so far. The thing that really pissed me
Speaker 1: off about him writing leave last night was just another
Speaker 1: step and another little way of further manipulating her and
Speaker 1: creating what is called trauma bonding. So basically, imagine if
Speaker 1: your boyfriend or your girlfriend does something that upsets you
Speaker 1: and hurts you. Maybe they've cheated, maybe they just whatever,
Speaker 1: they just haven't listened to you and they didn't take
Speaker 1: the washing out and hurt your feelings, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Imagine that you approach them about something that they have
Speaker 1: done wrong and you're upset about it, and instead of
Speaker 1: them apologizing, and instead of them understanding listening to what
Speaker 1: you have to say, they flip the narrative and say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just you know what, you're so upset, it's too hard.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna leave because it's better for you if I leave,
Speaker 1: because clearly I'm such a bad person. And instead of
Speaker 1: taking ownership and taking any responsibility, it's this gas lighting
Speaker 1: and turning it around so that the person who is
Speaker 1: actually the one who's been wronged in the first place,
Speaker 1: who is owed, and apology goes, oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I made a big deal about it. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Don't leave. What Bryce is doing to Melissa is that
Speaker 1: because Melissa has been showing that she's upset on the couch,
Speaker 1: because she's been showing her feelings, it's like he is
Speaker 1: blaming her that this problem is being created, that everybody
Speaker 1: is you know, all eyes are on them, and he thinks, well,
Speaker 1: all eyes are on us because you keep getting upset.
Speaker 1: And so the fact that he's written leave and then
Speaker 1: written stay is sort of his way of going, you
Speaker 1: made me do this, but you know what, I'm giving
Speaker 1: it another chance. And it is so evil.
Speaker 2: Well it's a classic deflection manipulation technique, isn't it. It's
Speaker 2: like also him trying to come off in this situation
Speaker 2: like he's a hero, like I'm doing this for you,
Speaker 2: the old you deserve better and that's why I'm doing it,
Speaker 2: which is like I'm calling bullshit. People do that all
Speaker 2: the time as an excuse when they do want to
Speaker 2: just leave as well. But the thing that gets me
Speaker 2: with him writing leave and then writing stay. He wrote
Speaker 2: leave at the top, which means there was room at
Speaker 2: the bottom for him to write stay. It was premeditated.
Speaker 2: He knew that he was going to write it. He
Speaker 2: wanted the space to write stay. The other thing is
Speaker 2: he one hundred percent knew that she was going to
Speaker 2: say stay. He knew that was staying. There was no
Speaker 2: benefit to him riding the leave and crossing it out.
Speaker 2: The other thing is it sort of creates this bond
Speaker 2: with them, and like you said, her self esteem is
Speaker 2: so low and I really feel for her and she
Speaker 2: needs to work on that. You can even see in
Speaker 2: her body language, which she's always quite looking down. It's
Speaker 2: almost like she's a shell of herself when she's with him,
Speaker 2: which I hate to see. But he's creating this environment where,
Speaker 2: like you just said, Laura, okay, I'll stay for you,
Speaker 2: but I want you to know how close I was
Speaker 2: to leaving, Like I'm you're on the cusp. So she's
Speaker 2: going to be walking on eggshells even more because she
Speaker 2: knows how close she was to leaving, And that in
Speaker 2: itself is a technique. He's creating an environment where it's
Speaker 2: like you don't know how good you have it and
Speaker 2: how lucky I am to still be here kind of
Speaker 2: a thing. So the poor thing is walking on eggshells
Speaker 2: as it is, but she's going to be terrified now
Speaker 2: to put foot out of place.
Speaker 1: And you know, obviously we don't know how much of
Speaker 1: the show is edited, and like, let's give some level
Speaker 1: of benefit of the data, even if it is a
Speaker 1: dumpster fire and it doesn't deserve it, but the thing
Speaker 1: is and it's something that we advocate for so much
Speaker 1: on this podcast. When you are so frightened of being
Speaker 1: alone or having someone walk away, and you're so scared
Speaker 1: of abandonment, and that is what drives you in a
Speaker 1: relationship that allows you to lower your standards so far
Speaker 1: that you just don't have any standards anymore. And so
Speaker 1: that's where I think we've gotten to with Melissa and Bryce.
Speaker 1: Melissa's standards have dropped and her self worth has dropped
Speaker 1: to being so minimal that she would put up with
Speaker 1: anything that he does and says because her fear of
Speaker 1: him leaving her surpasses anything that she deserves for herself.
Speaker 1: And like you said, Britt, it was the absolute telltale
Speaker 1: sign when he wrote leave at the top, because like
Speaker 1: what he was trying to say, was I wrote leave
Speaker 1: and then I changed my mind. No, pal, you wrote
Speaker 1: leave knowing that you were going to write stay, because
Speaker 1: you wrote it specifically with enough space on the card
Speaker 1: to change your mind in the middle. Shit. Yes, anyway,
Speaker 1: Mass made us both very mad last night, and I
Speaker 1: need a glass of wine and to sit down the show.
Speaker 2: Actually, I said this to Laura, like, I'm trying to
Speaker 2: watch it now because I want to get on board
Speaker 2: with these conversations. They are important conversations, but it just
Speaker 2: I've never I don't even know. I can't pinpoint why
Speaker 2: the show is furiates me. I can't enjoy one bit
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Wait, you don't enjoy people being vulnerable and like absolutely
Speaker 1: decimating their self esteem and self worth. You don't find
Speaker 1: that entertaining.
Speaker 2: I think that's crazy. I know it so crazy. It
Speaker 2: just infuriates me. And last night watching it, I look
Speaker 2: at them and I know, guys, I've been on two
Speaker 2: reality shows. I know that a lot is fabricated, and
Speaker 2: I know there's a lot of manipulation, but there are
Speaker 2: some things you cannot manipulate, like things they are what
Speaker 2: they are. I'm trying to give a lot of people
Speaker 2: the benefit of the doubt, but everyone's infuriating me, and
Speaker 2: I feel like people are going in there trying to
Speaker 2: start fires, and that infuriates me.
Speaker 1: Something that comes up every season on every reality TV
Speaker 1: show is that people who portrayed badly always cry that
Speaker 1: it's the edit. There's always the conversation of the edit,
Speaker 1: the edit, the edit. I was really lovely person in there,
Speaker 1: and I've been made to look like a villain. There
Speaker 1: is only so much that can be achieved with an edit,
Speaker 1: and I think that that's really important for people to
Speaker 1: keep perspective on and also for people who are on
Speaker 1: the show to have some self reflection and some self awareness.
Speaker 1: We all know how reality TV works now. The producer
Speaker 1: is pushing you to do something or to say something
Speaker 1: that goes against your moral compass. Have a spine and
Speaker 1: say no.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: There were plenty of times on The Bachelor where I
Speaker 1: was asked or told and I know, the same thing
Speaker 1: for you, Britt, to do or say something, and I
Speaker 1: was like, no, absolutely not because it's fucking mean, and
Speaker 1: you just don't do it. And then they go to
Speaker 1: the next person ask somebody else to do it. The
Speaker 1: thing that gets held over you is airtime so the
Speaker 1: producers will say to you, well, if you do this
Speaker 1: and you say this, you'll get more airtime. And what
Speaker 1: people don't realize is that that's not always.
Speaker 2: A quation, you know, one airtime. There's a reason I
Speaker 2: wasn't really shown on Bachelor Paradise. I walked off said
Speaker 2: and quit the Bachelor at one point, which I've never
Speaker 2: really spoken about. Towards the end, probably about three quarters through.
Speaker 2: Because of that, I was like, this isn't me, this
Speaker 2: isn't my storyline, and that's not what I'm going to do.
Speaker 2: It's not what I'm about. I'm never gonna say this,
Speaker 2: and I was beside myself. So I quit the show.
Speaker 2: I was like I'm done, and I walked out and
Speaker 2: they had to come and chase me and be like,
Speaker 2: please don't go, and I was like, well, you need
Speaker 2: to get on board with the fact that this is
Speaker 2: never going to happen, and like, I just want to
Speaker 2: fall in love. Just let me be a shadow in
Speaker 2: the back and fucking form love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. So I do think most of us realize
Speaker 1: this when we watch these shows, but be wary when
Speaker 1: someone says and blames the edit entirely because you know,
Speaker 1: you can only cut and paste so much of someone's personality.
Speaker 1: If the person is still choosing to say and do things,
Speaker 1: especially if they're talking director camera, then that says a
Speaker 1: lot about the person themselves.
Speaker 2: I do want to say though, and like this is true,
Speaker 2: Like Laura said, the villains are the villains ninety nine
Speaker 2: percent of the time, and they have said these things.
Speaker 2: What I will say, and in their defense, is it
Speaker 2: can be made to look a lot worse a lot
Speaker 2: of the time. But they are that role and usually
Speaker 2: they are that character. They give the producers so much already,
Speaker 2: but it can be made to look a lot worse.
Speaker 2: I will say that we're not just like throwing these
Speaker 2: people under the bus as well. But yeah, just know
Speaker 2: that if someone said something, they've said it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I totally totally agree with that. But
Speaker 1: at the same time, fucking Bryce, I can't wait.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna watch this week. We will talk about
Speaker 2: it a lot more on Thursday's episode because I think
Speaker 2: something explosive will happen them next week. Their storyline is
Speaker 2: far from over.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Let's get into the question guys. Thank you so
Speaker 1: much to everybody who has written in questions for today
Speaker 1: Brittany has chosen four questions and we're gonna kick it
Speaker 1: off with number one.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make Lauristar number one. My throat needs a
Speaker 2: little rest.
Speaker 1: Okay. Number one is so, guys, I've been dating this
Speaker 1: guy for the past four months and he is wonderful. Honestly,
Speaker 1: on paper, he seems to tick all of my boxes
Speaker 1: and I have fallen in deep. The problem is is
Speaker 1: that recently he has been talking a lot about different
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories. Oh fuck, run, and I'm starting to think
Speaker 1: that maybe this isn't a one off thing and he
Speaker 1: has just been keeping this part of his identity a
Speaker 1: bit of a secret. What would you do if you
Speaker 1: found out your partner was fully into conspiracy theories?
Speaker 2: I find this really funny.
Speaker 1: Fucking run.
Speaker 2: My immute reaction is like ty up your joggers and
Speaker 2: get out of there. But no, Look, this has few
Speaker 2: different levels because I have friends that I mean not
Speaker 2: close friends. I have acquaintances and people I used to
Speaker 2: work with that are conspiracy theorists. Some of them it
Speaker 2: doesn't bother me when they have an opinion. I sometimes
Speaker 2: find it amusing when it's like, really like the world
Speaker 2: is flat, They're like Oh, it's cute.
Speaker 1: Think Aliens made the Pyramids adorable.
Speaker 2: Totally, Like COVID is fake. That shit annoys me when
Speaker 2: people are spreading fake news, like Pete Evans, for example,
Speaker 2: I couldn't stand that I would divorce Pete Evans in
Speaker 2: a second because that's actually putting people's like it's so dumb,
Speaker 2: it's so far fetch, and it's putting people's lives in danger.
Speaker 2: When people just have their own thoughts and opinions and
Speaker 2: it's cute. They tell you can have a laugh if
Speaker 2: it's not affecting your day to day relationship, or you're
Speaker 2: not arguing about it, or you know, it's not making
Speaker 2: you lose sleep at night. I think it's fine. It's
Speaker 2: just when someone's life starts to change. Like I had
Speaker 2: some friends that literally and like this is quite funny.
Speaker 2: They thought the world was going to end and they
Speaker 2: had an end of the world pack. They'd been packed
Speaker 2: and ready to go, and the pack stayed at their
Speaker 2: front door permanently.
Speaker 1: It's like they were going to go to the hospital
Speaker 1: have the baby. They had their baby bag pack.
Speaker 2: Was it endy weld bag?
Speaker 1: Was this like a twenty twelve Mayan calendar? Thing like
Speaker 1: when the twenty twelve end of world was supposed to
Speaker 1: happen and then it never came.
Speaker 2: But did you know what, Yeah, it's exactly like that.
Speaker 2: But they didn't have a date they were waiting for.
Speaker 2: It was just sit in case the end of the
Speaker 2: world was coming. It had like cans of food and stuff,
Speaker 2: all the things you would think. But then it had
Speaker 2: and this is the funny thing. It had string and
Speaker 2: like a rope in it. But the guy had done
Speaker 2: like a rope course and knew how to tie all
Speaker 2: these knots and stuff in case that they.
Speaker 1: Had to like hike themselves up a tree. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the rope was gonna do. Okay, wait, but
Speaker 1: my question is do you think that somebody who has
Speaker 1: an end of well bag at their front door is
Speaker 1: the extreme end or do you think that that's okay?
Speaker 1: Because I think I would have a real problem if
Speaker 1: Matt wanted to keep a bag at the door in
Speaker 1: case the zombie apocalypse was coming.
Speaker 2: Like, my babe, it just doesn't go there. Asthetic in here.
Speaker 1: We need to at least put it in the cupboard,
Speaker 1: like come on, Look, there are some conspiracy theories that
Speaker 1: are obviously less harmful than others. Exactly what you've said,
Speaker 1: brid but you need to be very aligned on your
Speaker 1: core beliefs with your partner. And if your partner is
Speaker 1: a conspiracy theorist or believes in things that are very
Speaker 1: contradictory to what you believe, then I think that that
Speaker 1: is going to cause problems down the path. And the
Speaker 1: other part of this as well is you don't know
Speaker 1: how deep they are in I think you need to
Speaker 1: kind of figure that out, and if they haven't been
Speaker 1: fully transparent with you about this, figure out how deep
Speaker 1: their belief system lies, Like what is it? What political
Speaker 1: views do they have, what religious views do they have?
Speaker 1: Not just around conspiracy theories, but these are all things
Speaker 1: that you need to be on some level on the
Speaker 1: same page with because they are core parts of a relationship.
Speaker 1: They're parts of what you're going to have this conversation.
Speaker 1: They're also parts of how you're going to raise children
Speaker 1: if you do decide to have kids, Like they're really
Speaker 1: really integral to having long term relationship. And I think
Speaker 1: you can get so deep in how you feel about
Speaker 1: someone before actually looking at who you are as people
Speaker 1: and whether you are well suited. And it doesn't sound
Speaker 1: like necessarily you're well suited. It sounds like there's a
Speaker 1: lot of chemistry, but there's a lot of shit wrong
Speaker 1: here as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I one hundred percent agree if it's in a sense,
Speaker 2: as an example, if it's like I believe that the
Speaker 2: Aliens made the pyramids, fucking lols, Like have a loll
Speaker 2: and be like okay, babe, Like whatever works. If it's
Speaker 2: something more serious, like COVID is fake, or you can
Speaker 2: buy this fifteen thousand dollars lamp to cure COVID.
Speaker 1: Or qan On even like there's a lot of dangerous
Speaker 1: stuff that's coming out of q and On, you know, Like,
Speaker 1: I think that everyone is entitled to their own opinions,
Speaker 1: and like we can sit here and say what we
Speaker 1: think is conspiracy theories and what we think is acceptable.
Speaker 1: That's our personal views. But at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: we are going to date people who have similar views
Speaker 1: to us. Whether those views are right or wrong, and
Speaker 1: whether your partner's views are right or wrong, or whether
Speaker 1: he is that youit crazy, that's irrelevant. I think the
Speaker 1: main thing here is that you need to be on
Speaker 1: the same page with stuff, and there is only a
Speaker 1: few things that you can really deviate that, Like, there's
Speaker 1: only a few conspiracy theories that are not so harmful
Speaker 1: that they're going to cause problems in your relationships.
Speaker 2: I like what you just said, Laura, and like just
Speaker 2: to reiterate on that. If you do start to put
Speaker 2: it in the same category when someone has feelings that
Speaker 2: are that strong about conspiracy, if you put in the
Speaker 2: same category as things like religion, you do have to
Speaker 2: think long term if it's going to be compatible with
Speaker 2: your life and your children and the way you're going
Speaker 2: to bring people up. Because when someone believes so strongly
Speaker 2: in something like that, it's going to cause a rift.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. It's definitely okay to have different opinions
Speaker 2: with your partner and different beliefs, Like I encourage that.
Speaker 2: I think that's healthy discussions. You just need to figure
Speaker 2: out how different his thoughts are and his conspiracies are,
Speaker 2: and if you're okay to continue on with that. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: that's all it is. If you can't stand what he's
Speaker 2: saying and it infuriates you and you know it's not
Speaker 2: compatible for the future, then I think it's a really
Speaker 2: really significant reason to leave. Like, I think it's warranted.
Speaker 2: I don't think you need to be overreacting, like, oh,
Speaker 2: is it overreacting if I break up with him because
Speaker 2: he's a conspiracy theorist. If it's going to impact your life,
Speaker 2: then no, I think that is a valid reason.
Speaker 1: I think we've almost wrapped this. They want to say
Speaker 1: one more thing on it.
Speaker 2: We love this where it's like I'm in a keep
Speaker 2: going because we could talk about it forever.
Speaker 1: I think if you're dating someone and you're embarrassed by
Speaker 1: the things that they believe, and you are worried about
Speaker 1: them voicing those beliefs at say a dinner party or
Speaker 1: out with a group of friends, if he was to
Speaker 1: talk about the things that he believed in and it
Speaker 1: would embarrass you, then that is a pretty clear indication
Speaker 1: that you're on very very different pages. If you were like, hey,
Speaker 1: I know he believes these things, but if he keeps
Speaker 1: them to himself, I'm okay with them. That's when you
Speaker 1: need to check yourself, because you want your partner to
Speaker 1: be able to be his true authentic self in the
Speaker 1: same way that you would expect him to be okay
Speaker 1: with you being your true authentic self.
Speaker 2: Sotaally, like when you're apologizing for someone behind their back,
Speaker 2: like when you're leaving a dinner party. You turn it around,
Speaker 2: you're like, I'm so sorry about that tonight.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that he's crazy.
Speaker 2: You don't even have to Yeah, fucking you don't have
Speaker 2: to do that. So yeah, sort your shit out, all right?
Speaker 2: Next question, question number two. This one's really funny, ladies.
Speaker 2: Can we discuss height as a deal brahit in relationships?
Speaker 2: So I feel like the first sentence is already like
Speaker 2: a red flag, Like I don't think we even need
Speaker 2: to read this anymore. But I'm going about a month ago,
Speaker 2: I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. From
Speaker 2: the moment it happened, I have been going back and
Speaker 2: forth with it being the right decision and making a
Speaker 2: pros and cons list in my head twenty four to seven.
Speaker 2: It's exhausting. Now, look, we're big on this. We're big
Speaker 2: on writing. You know, if you are struggling with something,
Speaker 2: we're bigne saying, Okay, what's the pro what's the con?
Speaker 2: Like this is fine, I'm not against a list.
Speaker 1: Not for two years. Though. If you're still running as
Speaker 1: on a pro list two years later, I reckon you
Speaker 1: probably didn't rate the right decision if you're still thinking
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Okay, but this gets worse. Oh shit, I keep coming
Speaker 2: back to the same thing. I'm not a shallow person,
Speaker 2: but being smaller than me. When my boyfriend and I
Speaker 2: were together, I often just felt huge and grotesque standing
Speaker 2: next to him and having to bow my head just
Speaker 2: to kiss him. I felt like I was missing some
Speaker 2: primal instinctive element that I embarrassingly crave in a partner,
Speaker 2: which I suppose is that male female power differential. Am
Speaker 2: I shallow if everything else in the relationship is absolutely perfect?
Speaker 2: Should I just learn to live with it? Or will
Speaker 2: I forever crave a partner that makes me feel dainty
Speaker 2: and can pick me up and throw me in the
Speaker 2: air like a pizza. I mean, like, are you shallow? Yes?
Speaker 2: I say that I'm not being nasty.
Speaker 1: I say that you're shallow, but I'm just being nice.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like if there were other things wrong,
Speaker 2: I would say you're shallow. But if you just said
Speaker 2: you've been with it for two years and he literally
Speaker 2: said he's perfect except he's shorter than me, then I
Speaker 2: would put that in a shallow basket. Now, I'm not
Speaker 2: saying this is anything bad against you, but I think
Speaker 2: that it's probably something that you need to understand that
Speaker 2: if the only thing wrong with him is his height,
Speaker 2: I personally don't think that's a reason to end a relationship. Look, girl,
Speaker 2: ten years single, I know how many fuck heads are
Speaker 2: out there, Like, it is hard to find a really
Speaker 2: great human. And if you've found a great human and
Speaker 2: the only thing that's detrimental to your relationship is that
Speaker 2: he's shorter than you, obviously it's up to you and
Speaker 2: how you feel if you can live with it. But
Speaker 2: I don't think that's a reason.
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty interesting, right, Like, I mean, yes,
Speaker 1: it's a superficial thing, but usually it's a deal breaker
Speaker 1: straight off the bat. The fact that, like you went
Speaker 1: down the path of being in a two year relationship
Speaker 1: and it was still an issue. I would say that, like, normally,
Speaker 1: if you meet someone who's shorter than you and height
Speaker 1: is one of your he requisites, it would instantly end
Speaker 1: the relationship kind of there, and then, like I definitely
Speaker 1: think for me, height was an important part of when
Speaker 1: I would find someone attractive. That's not to say I
Speaker 1: haven't dated anyone shorter than me. I dated a guy
Speaker 1: for three and a half years. Who are shorter than me.
Speaker 1: But I do understand this feeling of like wanting to
Speaker 1: feel feminine and wanting to feel little. And I'm like
Speaker 1: quite a tall, broad person and I didn't feel feminine
Speaker 1: and little in that relationship. Was that a deal breaker?
Speaker 1: And did that make me feel unattractive with him? No?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. But it's interesting to me that you have
Speaker 1: gotten two years into the relationship and that is the
Speaker 1: only thing that has constantly stayed as an issue for you.
Speaker 1: And it makes me think maybe maybe there's something there
Speaker 1: that you need to work on yourself. Why do you
Speaker 1: need to feel little? Why do you feel like you
Speaker 1: need to feel skinny or feminine? Like that seems like
Speaker 1: a self esteem issue more than anything, because you're not
Speaker 1: defined by your size, and we're all gonna change sizes
Speaker 1: throughout our life. You know, we're gonna put on weight,
Speaker 1: we're gonna lose weight. Like that stuff that fluctuates, and
Speaker 1: that stuff is not a guarantee. So like, why is
Speaker 1: it that feeling little and feeling feminine is so important
Speaker 1: to you in your relationship? Maybe that's something and a
Speaker 1: question you need to ask yourself.
Speaker 2: I do want to actually agree with that, and I
Speaker 2: do want to make a point to Laura and I
Speaker 2: are both tall, and we are both broad, and we
Speaker 2: were both very athletic growing up. I one hundred percent
Speaker 2: resonate with what you're saying. I've always felt bigger, like
Speaker 2: I always have and even though I'm not huge by
Speaker 2: any means, but I was made to feel that way,
Speaker 2: especially when a lot of my friends were little. I
Speaker 2: always wanted someone to date that was bigger than me
Speaker 2: because I didn't want to accentuate the fact that I
Speaker 2: felt big. But I have dated people that were smaller
Speaker 2: than me. I dated one guy that was shorter than me,
Speaker 2: only a little bit, and he was probably He wasn't
Speaker 2: huge and muscly either, but fuck, he was funny. He
Speaker 2: was so funny and he was so lovely that I
Speaker 2: was just obsessed with his personality and everything else in
Speaker 2: that moment, and in that relationship took over the fact
Speaker 2: that I was bigger than him. He loved being with me.
Speaker 2: He made me feel really good all the time. So
Speaker 2: I got past that, but it was always one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: It was always in the back of my mind, but
Speaker 2: I just had to be hyper aware that everything else
Speaker 2: was great. I also have some friends whose parents have
Speaker 2: been married forty years and they're so in love and
Speaker 2: they could not be more extreme. He's like Daddy DeVito,
Speaker 2: no joke. He's five foot something and she's an extremely
Speaker 2: tall woman, so he comes up to probably maybe under
Speaker 2: her boob, like significant height difference, and they have the happiest,
Speaker 2: most loving relationship. It just doesn't mean anything because they're
Speaker 2: perfect in every other way.
Speaker 1: So I have a friend who's the same thing, like
Speaker 1: it would have to be a foot difference between him
Speaker 1: and her, and they have a kid together. They're so
Speaker 1: happy and they do not give a flying fuck that
Speaker 1: there is a heart difference. There's two things that I
Speaker 1: want to say on this one. I just want to
Speaker 1: reiterate that we are talking about a height difference here
Speaker 1: when we say bigger or smaller, La. This is not
Speaker 1: about way in comparison, because it could be very very
Speaker 1: annoying for you guys listening to two relatively skinny girls going, oh,
Speaker 1: and I felt bigger than him, which he's.
Speaker 2: Been broad and like we were both swimmers and surfers,
Speaker 2: Like we just felt tall and broad.
Speaker 1: We totally appreciate it purely height. This is purely height.
Speaker 1: And secondly to that is I think we need to
Speaker 1: reassess this idea of it's social normative. That's what this is.
Speaker 1: We have been conditioned that men are supposed to be taller,
Speaker 1: women are supposed to be shorter. There is no other
Speaker 1: reasoning behind it. It's like a primitive whole. Tall men
Speaker 1: are strong and robust and viral, and they're going to
Speaker 1: provide for us, and we are diminutive little women and
Speaker 1: we need to be taken care of. It is that
Speaker 1: social normative that has created the environment and created the
Speaker 1: concept where we're like, well, we need to date men
Speaker 1: who are taller. Fuck that. Just date good guys or
Speaker 1: date good girls, like date people who treat you and
Speaker 1: make you feel amazing. If the one thing there is
Speaker 1: a barrier in your mind is height, then really maybe
Speaker 1: you need to do some work on yourself. Because if
Speaker 1: it's two years later and you guys are broken up
Speaker 1: and you are still doing pros and cons list because
Speaker 1: you know that he was actually an amazing guy and
Speaker 1: the only reason why you broke up with him was height,
Speaker 1: you're going to find it very very difficult to constantly
Speaker 1: compare someone because, yeah, there's a lot of tall guys
Speaker 1: out there. There's a lot of tall assholes out there
Speaker 1: and trust me, I would rather a guy treat me
Speaker 1: great than throw me around like a pizza.
Speaker 2: Conversely, like, on the reverse side to that, I do
Speaker 2: want to say that, like I agree with everything Laurie
Speaker 2: just said, but ultimately I think it sucks if you
Speaker 2: can't get past it because it sounds like a beautiful
Speaker 2: relationship that you would be lucky to be in. If
Speaker 2: you know internally that you will never feel good and
Speaker 2: this will be in the back of your mind for
Speaker 2: the rest of your life and you know you cannot
Speaker 2: conquer that feeling of he's shorter than you, then yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that you probably do need to end the
Speaker 2: relationship because it'll be there forever. But I think if
Speaker 2: you can, you need to try and work on it
Speaker 2: and save the relationship. That's what I want to say.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I think you need to go balls in
Speaker 2: with this guy and try and work on that problem
Speaker 2: because he sounds amazing and like it is. Fuck, it's
Speaker 2: just so rare. You've got another thought I can tell Laura.
Speaker 1: Do you think the part of this is not just
Speaker 1: a reflection of how you feel as in like you
Speaker 1: feeling like you want to be smaller than your partner.
Speaker 1: But do you feel that there's any part of this
Speaker 1: that comes from what other people might think? I think
Speaker 1: that that's a question to ask yourself as well, because
Speaker 1: I remember when I dated a guy who was shortenedan me,
Speaker 1: the guy I was talking about three and a half years.
Speaker 1: At the start, my question wasn't so much about him.
Speaker 1: I was so into him, but I was like, what
Speaker 1: will people think about me dating someone who's shorter than me? Like,
Speaker 1: which is so that long? Does that look silly? Like?
Speaker 1: Does it look silly to other people? And the thing is,
Speaker 1: nobody cares about you. Nobody cares about your relationship. Nobody
Speaker 1: cares about the way you look. The only person who
Speaker 1: cares is you. And so if you can get over
Speaker 1: it and you can be happy with it, then you're
Speaker 1: gonna have a great relationship. But if you allow something
Speaker 1: that is super super super super super superficial to impact that,
Speaker 1: that's all on you. And we don't think you're necessarily
Speaker 1: a superficial bitch all the time, but like this, this
Speaker 1: is a hard one.
Speaker 2: No, we don't think you're a superficial bitch at all.
Speaker 2: But our advice to wrap this up is to make
Speaker 2: this work go and give it another shot. That is
Speaker 2: my advice.
Speaker 1: I'm there, I'm with you. I love it when we agree.
Speaker 1: All right, Question number three, and this is our last
Speaker 1: question because, like we said, guys, we're just going to
Speaker 1: keep this episode short, sharp, and Snazzy is dying this.
Speaker 2: I have to go to the GPA after this. This
Speaker 2: question genuinely, and this doesn't happen often. I felt so
Speaker 2: uncomfortable reading the question. I got tears in my eyes,
Speaker 2: and the empathy that I had for the girl in
Speaker 2: this situation was like nothing I've ever had before because
Speaker 2: I felt so awkward. Okay, guys, I'm still really close
Speaker 2: friends with my childhood best friend. She is the reason
Speaker 2: my partner and I actually together. I'm getting married at
Speaker 2: the end of next year and I haven't picked my
Speaker 2: bridesmaids yet. I know that she assumes she's going to
Speaker 2: be one, but the issue is I don't want her
Speaker 2: to be. Without going into too much detail, I know
Speaker 2: she will cause a lot of stress and drama in
Speaker 2: the lead up to the big day. Another issue is
Speaker 2: that when she drinks, she can become quite loud and
Speaker 2: she can get aggressive, which has course scenes at events before.
Speaker 2: And I know she's not gonna not drink. How do
Speaker 2: I gently let her down without causing too much conflict?
Speaker 2: I feel so guilty because she keeps mentioning when we're
Speaker 2: going dress shopping and it's going to be so great
Speaker 2: when I'm a bridesmaid. I know I need to have
Speaker 2: this conversation, but what do I do.
Speaker 1: Is so uncomfortable, Like you, she just.
Speaker 2: Genuinely thinks she's made the assumption, which I get if
Speaker 2: you've been best friends for your whole life, Like I
Speaker 2: have a best friend that always talks about she can't
Speaker 2: wait to get married, Liken be a bridesmaid. But the
Speaker 2: thing is she would be like, there are friends that
Speaker 2: are hume it, and I'm just so uncomfortable by the
Speaker 2: fact that you've obviously let it go on a little
Speaker 2: bit too long because you don't know how to approach it.
Speaker 2: And I feel for you, but like, I just feel
Speaker 2: so uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Okay, But the issue is does she sit her down
Speaker 1: and actually have a conversation saying like, look, I love you,
Speaker 1: but you're not one of my bridesmaids, or does she
Speaker 1: just go and ask the people that she wants to
Speaker 1: be her bridesmaids and not ask her friend because there's
Speaker 1: two ways to approach this. You're like, oh, she'll get
Speaker 1: the gist once I've asked the other girls.
Speaker 2: Nah, I think they are so uncomfortable. I know that
Speaker 2: you would love to do that and that would be
Speaker 2: an easy option, but that would hurt her more to
Speaker 2: hear from everyone else that they've been asked to be bridesmaids.
Speaker 2: She'll probably be like, oh, did my don't get lost
Speaker 2: in the mount? Like, I think that you need to
Speaker 2: have the conversation before you ask the other bridesmaids. How
Speaker 2: you go about that is the next part. I don't
Speaker 2: think you need to go into the fact where you say,
Speaker 2: like you drink too much and you're aggressive and you
Speaker 2: cause problems. I think that that will cause a whole
Speaker 2: nother issue. But that is a really good reason, Like
Speaker 2: you don't have to feel guilty that you're not asking her.
Speaker 2: I think weddings cause so much external extra drama that
Speaker 2: don't need to be there with these sort of issues.
Speaker 2: I think what I would have to do if I fuck,
Speaker 2: If I had to, I would just say to her, look,
Speaker 2: I love you so much and I want you to
Speaker 2: be a big part of my wedding, and you've always
Speaker 2: been there for me. But like, just so you know,
Speaker 2: I'm only gonna have, however many bridesmaids, So I'm only
Speaker 2: gonna have three bridesmen.
Speaker 1: I don't even have seven bridesmaids, and you're normal. I'm
Speaker 1: having twenty one bridesmaids, but you don't make the cut.
Speaker 1: I just wanting one of my closest friends though, so like,
Speaker 1: you know, don't feel too bad about it. And I've
Speaker 1: just got Sharon from the coffee shop. Is that a
Speaker 1: game because she's really nice to me last week and
Speaker 1: gave me a free one. Yes, she gave me a shot.
Speaker 2: Like no, I think you just be honest in that
Speaker 2: sense where you're like, look, I'm only having three unfortunately,
Speaker 2: like I need to have these people. Maybe it's your sister,
Speaker 2: or maybe it's another best friend, or maybe it's a
Speaker 2: sister in law. Whatever, But then just say to her,
Speaker 2: make her feel still really loved and include it. Be
Speaker 2: like I still want you to come and help me
Speaker 2: choose my dress, and I want you to be a
Speaker 2: huge part of my day, like organizing it and being
Speaker 2: there and stuff. So don't make her feel like she's
Speaker 2: completely left out. That would be my advice, But I
Speaker 2: think Honestly, honesty is the best policy.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Look, it's such an uncomfortable situation, but it's not
Speaker 1: one that you can avoid by sticking your head in
Speaker 1: the sand. My only thing is is I would say
Speaker 1: to her, I want you to be as big a
Speaker 1: part or as small a part as what you would
Speaker 1: like in regards to like coming and helping with the
Speaker 1: organization and the dress shopping. I think it's a bit
Speaker 1: of a backhanded thing to say, Oh, I still want
Speaker 1: you to be super involved, but I don't want you
Speaker 1: to be a bridesmaid because it's kind of like doing
Speaker 1: all the work without getting any of the glory, if
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Also, you don't want to be a bridesmaid.
Speaker 1: It's such hard work. It's so and it's so expensive.
Speaker 1: It's like, as much as you love your friends and
Speaker 1: you want to be there from them in the day,
Speaker 1: at the same time you're like, look, there's so much
Speaker 1: work to do. Okay, may just want to drink pinacolatas
Speaker 1: and enjoy myself.
Speaker 2: Let me just get drunk in the corner. Totally imagine this.
Speaker 2: So I'm not a bridesmaid for Laura, but imagine Laura.
Speaker 2: If because we've never had that conversation, we'd.
Speaker 1: Never ever okay, but I haven't chosen my bridesmaids yet,
Speaker 1: so like no one who knows not wedding at the
Speaker 1: end of the year. But I mean, like, if you
Speaker 1: need a back up, sure, but it's not just assumed
Speaker 1: that this is happening.
Speaker 2: Oh no, it's not a shit. But I'm saying, imagine
Speaker 2: if you and I started talking, right and I was like,
Speaker 2: what bridesmaid dresses am I gonna wear? Because I would
Speaker 2: like to start looking.
Speaker 1: I said that, I'd just be like, yeah, well you
Speaker 1: got another bridesmaid. She'd be like that, we've got to
Speaker 1: put her in.
Speaker 2: So like, what would you do if I started like,
Speaker 2: because that's what this is, like, really good friends, that
Speaker 2: someone's made assumption.
Speaker 1: So what if I said that, how would you? Honestly
Speaker 1: do you think you would? Okay, my genuine opinion, And like,
Speaker 1: I think you need to nip it in the butt now,
Speaker 1: Like I think the longer that you let this conversation
Speaker 1: go on, the more that you are implying that she
Speaker 1: is a bridesmaid. So she said, I can't wait to
Speaker 1: choose our bridesmaid's dresses. And you didn't nip it in
Speaker 1: the butt. Then you have reinforced to her that she
Speaker 1: is going to be a bridesmaid. So you're making your
Speaker 1: job more and more difficult.
Speaker 2: Without saying it.
Speaker 1: You've s without her totally, so you're making your job
Speaker 1: more difficult. So I think the next time wedding dress
Speaker 1: or you know, anything wedding related comes up, if it
Speaker 1: does come up, then I think, say, Babe, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: I know that this is going to hurt you. I
Speaker 1: love you, and I don't want you to be upset
Speaker 1: by this. But you know, I've only got the option
Speaker 1: of having these three people, and I've got this is
Speaker 1: who I'm choosing. I don't think you need to go
Speaker 1: into long winded explanations as to why. And I really
Speaker 1: think that sometimes we feel like we need to overcompensate
Speaker 1: when we are upsetting someone, when we are letting someone down,
Speaker 1: or when we're saying no to a situation. It's very
Speaker 1: rare that we feel comfortable to say do you know what,
Speaker 1: no and leave it at that, or do you know what?
Speaker 1: Unfortunately this is the situation. We always feel like we
Speaker 1: need to justify and reason, and I think if you
Speaker 1: over justify and you over reason, you actually create a
Speaker 1: worse situation for yourself in this. Tell her you love her,
Speaker 1: tell her you want her to be at the wedding,
Speaker 1: tell her how important she is to you, but say, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I was only able to choose this many people, and
Speaker 1: you know I've chosen these girls. You don't need to
Speaker 1: explain why you have chosen them, because that is only
Speaker 1: going to potentially hurt her more. You know, Oh, because
Speaker 1: I'm closer friend with this person I did this with, Like,
Speaker 1: you don't need to explain that away totally.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of power in that. And we're actually
Speaker 2: gonna talk about saying no next episode. Actually, like there's
Speaker 2: a segment we're gonna do about that, which is I
Speaker 2: found really interesting. But one other thing I want to
Speaker 2: say is I've been in this exact position, and I
Speaker 2: think that if you are really best friends with someone
Speaker 2: and you really love each other, that this shouldn't affect
Speaker 2: your friendship. You should love them enough that it's their
Speaker 2: day and that's okay. I had a best friend that
Speaker 2: I never assumed I would be a bridesmaid. Absolutely not,
Speaker 2: But I also wouldn't have been surprised if she asked
Speaker 2: me because we were that closer friends and she just
Speaker 2: came to me, really honestly, and she said, like, I
Speaker 2: can't have you as a bridesmaid because I've got three
Speaker 2: sisters and that's all I'm gonna do. Like I'm going
Speaker 2: to do them, but I would love you to do
Speaker 2: a speech at the wedding and am see the wedding
Speaker 2: like and help me choose my dress. And I wasn't
Speaker 2: even disappointed because I was like, cool, that's the plan
Speaker 2: of the day. That's your day. And I loved her
Speaker 2: enough that I I mean, you're allowed to feel disappointed
Speaker 2: one hundred percent. I didn't because I'm a bit different
Speaker 2: like that. I just put things into perspective. I got
Speaker 2: a role, and I did that.
Speaker 1: But also she still included you in the wedding in
Speaker 1: a massive way by making you MC that's a huge
Speaker 1: I think that this situation is more difficult because she
Speaker 1: doesn't have an alternate. She's not saying I don't want
Speaker 1: you to be a bridesmaid, but I want you to
Speaker 1: do this. She's just saying I don't want you to
Speaker 1: be involved in the wedding party. It's a lot harder
Speaker 1: this situation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was totally lucky that, you know, I did
Speaker 2: have another role that I was happy to do, but
Speaker 2: to be honest, my role was more stressful, like to
Speaker 2: make sure the whole wedding runs smoothly. But what I'm
Speaker 2: trying to say is like it didn't bother me even
Speaker 2: if I didn't have another role, because everyone, if you're
Speaker 2: in this situation, if you really really love a person
Speaker 2: and then your best friend, you just want what's best
Speaker 2: for them, and you want the day to go off
Speaker 2: without a hitch. And that just means accepting that this is,
Speaker 2: for whatever reason, this is what they want. So I
Speaker 2: think you need you to sit down with your friend,
Speaker 2: like Laura said, just say that, like I would love
Speaker 2: you to still be a part of it, and I
Speaker 2: still want you to come and help me choose my dress,
Speaker 2: and I still want you to help me plan my
Speaker 2: hands or whatever else. It is like there are so
Speaker 2: many things you're going to need help with, and she's
Speaker 2: your best friend, like you're still gonna want her around.
Speaker 2: So I think to sit it down now, but sooner
Speaker 2: rather than later, because she thinks that she's a bridesmaid.
Speaker 1: But also, like weddings are notoriously tricky, there's always somebody
Speaker 1: who's upset. There's always somebody who's offended, and at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, like brit said, it is your day,
Speaker 1: and you make the choices for yourself, and you don't
Speaker 1: have to take on everybody else's junk around your wedding,
Speaker 1: do you know. I mean, like, the people who love
Speaker 1: you should be happy for you, they should support you,
Speaker 1: and the people who make your wedding more stressful and
Speaker 1: create drama are actually being pretty selfish. And you would
Speaker 1: hope that someone who you're friends with would understand and
Speaker 1: see that and want the best for you. So for
Speaker 1: sure is crossed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go in armed. She's gonna be upset, Like going armed.
Speaker 1: She's allowed to be upset. You can't control somebody else's
Speaker 1: reactions of somebody else's feelings. Like she's totally entitled to
Speaker 1: be upset. Is she allowed to make it all about her?
Speaker 1: And should she forgive you and find some grace in this,
Speaker 1: then I would hope.
Speaker 2: So I had another friend, I'll just quickly say this,
Speaker 2: I had this exact thing as well with another one
Speaker 2: of my best friends. I couldn't go to her wedding
Speaker 2: actually unfortunately, but she had a best friend of forever
Speaker 2: her whole life, but she didn't want her for the
Speaker 2: almost the same reason she didn't want her as a bride'smaid.
Speaker 2: She had a sister and another best friend and a cousin,
Speaker 2: and that ruins the friendship. That other girl was so
Speaker 2: selfish that they're no longer friends. It's been in probably
Speaker 2: eight years. They just never spoke again, purely because she
Speaker 2: didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid. Now, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but that is fucked. That shows you how superficial that
Speaker 2: friendship was if you not being asked to be a bridesmaid,
Speaker 2: even though she's still invited to the wedding in a
Speaker 2: huge part and she still said like I love you.
Speaker 2: She ruined my friend's whole wedding day. There was six
Speaker 2: months worth of email fights and like trying to turn
Speaker 2: other friends against her. It was absolutely horrible. So I
Speaker 2: think that really shows that that friendship was never gonna last.
Speaker 2: It was never real.
Speaker 1: I think it reinforces why you don't want them as
Speaker 1: a bridesmaid. G you know, I mean, if someone's behavior
Speaker 1: is so bad that they aren't able to and like
Speaker 1: that's not to say like I don't understand why someone
Speaker 1: would be upset. Of course I understand that it's upsetting
Speaker 1: if your best friend doesn't want you to be a bridesmaid.
Speaker 1: But if the reaction is so adverse to create such
Speaker 1: problems and to meet the whole day about you and
Speaker 1: want to fight someone on a decision they've made that's
Speaker 1: important to them, that's a reflection. You know what, Maybe
Speaker 1: this isn't someone who really want to be that good
Speaker 1: of friends with one hundred percent, and that's a reflection
Speaker 1: of why you've chosen and made the decisions that you've made.
Speaker 1: Can you let us know though, when you had the conversation,
Speaker 1: because this question has just come in, So I would
Speaker 1: like you to actually, like, we would like a follow
Speaker 1: up on how this went, how the conversation went, and
Speaker 1: also what was her reaction. Like, that's what we would like.
Speaker 1: Is good for you? I'm scared my pants. I'm scaring
Speaker 1: my pants, all right, guys, I reckon. That's it for
Speaker 1: us for today. Britt is going to go to the
Speaker 1: GP and she's gonna go get some very hefty pain relief. Guysteroid,
Speaker 1: thanks for putting up with it.
Speaker 2: If I'm hoping it gets better, and I think it will,
Speaker 2: if for some reason it gets word to say the
Speaker 2: next few days, well I don't know what we're going
Speaker 2: to do yet, but we'll talk about it. We'll keep
Speaker 2: you posted on the Instagram.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if we have to delay our Thursday episode, we
Speaker 1: will of course let you guys know. But you know,
Speaker 1: we're hoping to bring you a really great episode all
Speaker 1: around the hustle and busyness and why we're obsessed with
Speaker 1: this busy lifestyle and what we can do to kind
Speaker 1: of make more me time. Amongst all that.
Speaker 2: It'll be a goody.
Speaker 1: It's a really goodie. It's actually, it's actually an episode.
Speaker 1: It's a really good actually an episode that Britt and
Speaker 1: I were wanting to do at the end of last
Speaker 1: year that we ended up putting it on hold because
Speaker 1: another similar podcast had released a very similar conversation. But
Speaker 1: we're approaching it from a different perspective. So I'm really
Speaker 1: really looking forward to the next episode whenever that's going
Speaker 1: to be, hopefully it'll be Thursday.
Speaker 2: Keep your questions coming into the Instagram. Just make sure
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Speaker 2: know that it's a question. Keep your accidentally unfilters coming.
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Speaker 2: other funny stories. If we've ever read your questions out too.
Speaker 2: Feel free to send us updates, just put update at
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Speaker 2: love following up and seeing what's happening. So it basically
Speaker 2: make sure you put a head in at the top
Speaker 2: of any message because we get so many that I
Speaker 2: just need to be able to tell what's one.
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