WEBVTT - Dumping Them On Their B'day 💐💔

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Rooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex

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<v Speaker 1>and Frooms catch up podcast. Happy Friday, guys, we actually

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<v Speaker 1>did it. We got to Friday, second best day of

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<v Speaker 1>the week apart from Thursday. Today we talked about the

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<v Speaker 1>most crazy shit. It's been a really long time since

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<v Speaker 1>Lex and I have like gone down the below the

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<v Speaker 1>belt pipeline. I'm quite literally the pipeline from your esophagus

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<v Speaker 1>right down into your anus. But today we're talking about

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<v Speaker 1>swamp us, how to see it, how to avoid it,

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<v Speaker 1>and also if anyone can tell me why I think

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<v Speaker 1>sell some smells so gross, please DM me. I'm waiting

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<v Speaker 1>for it. Have a lovely weekend. Bye, Flex and Rooms

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<v Speaker 1>on Kita, Hello lovel.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you dump someone on their birthday? We've already discussed

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<v Speaker 2>how we feel about going on dates, especially first dates

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<v Speaker 2>on your birthday. To know from us though, I can

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<v Speaker 2>imagine there are a few exceptions to that rule, but

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<v Speaker 2>for the most what we like blanket generalization. In this instance,

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<v Speaker 2>we've got a listener dm if you've all. If you've

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<v Speaker 2>got a dilemma, just dm Uster's Flex and Rooms and

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<v Speaker 2>hopefully producing Mickey sez It passes it on and then

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<v Speaker 2>we discuss it, Dearest Gremlins and Goblins also known as

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<v Speaker 2>flex frooms and Mickey, I have a tricky one. I

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<v Speaker 2>need your gracious minds to run this over. My boyfriend

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<v Speaker 2>and I have been together for almost three years. We

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<v Speaker 2>got together during UNI and everything was honestly perfect. But

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<v Speaker 2>in the last few years we've grown up a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>I work a nine to five in a corporate job

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<v Speaker 2>that i've worked hard again, and he, well, he still

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<v Speaker 2>works a casual job he had while we were at UNI.

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<v Speaker 2>He doesn't really have the same level of ambition as me,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's become clear that we just have very different

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<v Speaker 2>ideas on what we want out of life. In saying

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<v Speaker 2>all of this, it's become pretty clear to meet in

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<v Speaker 2>the last few months that I love him, but I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not in love with him, and at this stage of

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<v Speaker 2>my life, I'm twenty five, I really just want to

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<v Speaker 2>take time for myself. Here comes the kicker. I've been

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<v Speaker 2>working myself up to dump him for maybe four months,

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<v Speaker 2>but it hasn't felt at the right time. He's had

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of family stuff going on, and every time

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<v Speaker 2>I've chickened out. I'm about to go on a big

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<v Speaker 2>trip to Asia with my best friend for six weeks,

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<v Speaker 2>and we plan it so i'd be there. Oh, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>about to go on a big trip to Asia with

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<v Speaker 2>my best friend for six weeks, and we planned it

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<v Speaker 2>so I would be here for his birthday and then

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<v Speaker 2>leave two days later. Knowing me, I just really can't

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<v Speaker 2>see myself going on this trip with this relationship hanging

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<v Speaker 2>over my head. I'm going away in about ten days,

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<v Speaker 2>so I have to ask is it okay to dump

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<v Speaker 2>someone around their birthday? I hope and pray that we've

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<v Speaker 2>gotten back to you before before the Asia trip, because Babe,

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<v Speaker 2>if we haven't, forgive us, please forgive us, because this

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<v Speaker 2>is stressful. Imagine you've been with your partner for about

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<v Speaker 2>three years. When you first started dating, you're in uni

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<v Speaker 2>similar life stages. But now three years later, you work

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<v Speaker 2>good nine to five, he's learning his casual job. You

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<v Speaker 2>love him, you're in love with him, you're twenty five.

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<v Speaker 2>It feels like a pivotal moment to just like dead

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<v Speaker 2>the relationship, take time for yourself and start fresh. The

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<v Speaker 2>issue is you've been mulling over this breakup for a

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<v Speaker 2>bit too long four months, and now you've got a

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<v Speaker 2>bit of a deadline. See you're going away on a

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<v Speaker 2>big trip for six weeks, and you had planned it

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<v Speaker 2>so you'd be here for your partner's birthday and then

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<v Speaker 2>two days later go on this big trip. But now

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<v Speaker 2>that it's coming around in about a fortnight, you can't

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<v Speaker 2>imagine going on this big trip and still being in

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<v Speaker 2>that relationship. So you want to break up? Can you

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<v Speaker 2>break up with someone this close to their birthday? Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>Or no?

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<v Speaker 1>For Remina, I'm afraid yes, you can't be going on

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<v Speaker 1>that holiday with this, as you say, hanging over your head.

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<v Speaker 1>I will give you a piece of advice that you

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<v Speaker 1>may choose to take or not nice when you do

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<v Speaker 1>the breaking up, because I think you must do it

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<v Speaker 1>regardless of the birthday. Do not tell them that you've

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<v Speaker 1>been mulling over it for four months. Yeah, we've all

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<v Speaker 1>made the mistake. Get dumped or you get you dump.

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<v Speaker 1>And an inevitable question comes up, and that is how

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<v Speaker 1>long have you been thinking about this? This comes from

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<v Speaker 1>It's come from so I've been thinking about it four months.

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<v Speaker 1>That will cut this king to the core. But what

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<v Speaker 1>should she say? She's say, Oh, I don't know, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>just definitely don't say four months. Just say I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>sure how I feel like I'd do a little sweet

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<v Speaker 1>while I in no one.

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<v Speaker 2>It INCLUDESI his length of time going back on the

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<v Speaker 2>decision that I just know. Yeah, yeah, the time one

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<v Speaker 2>is tricky. You have to do it. Put the trip first.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm just saying six weeks with this in over

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<v Speaker 2>your head, think about the friend that you're going with

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<v Speaker 2>as well, so you don't put them through that. But also,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we think we're protecting people from harm

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<v Speaker 2>by making these decisions for them, when in reality we're

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<v Speaker 2>kind of cushioning ourselves from having to be the bad guy.

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<v Speaker 2>And in this instance, a lot of thinking has been done.

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<v Speaker 2>You've made some really good points here at being in

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<v Speaker 2>different life stages, and the sooner you can have this conversation,

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<v Speaker 2>because realistically, break up some more than one conversation. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you can start the first conversation, the quicker you'll be

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<v Speaker 2>out of the relationship. Yeah, I don't know anyone who's

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<v Speaker 2>been who's been in a long term relationship and how

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<v Speaker 2>to break up be the one conversation whereich is I'm

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<v Speaker 2>breaking up with you? It's a consideration, it's I want

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<v Speaker 2>to break up? Well, why, Well, let's just think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>We're going to break we won't talk. We'll do this.

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<v Speaker 2>Let's just think we'll talk in next week la la lah.

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<v Speaker 2>And now you're already cutting into the holiday time. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you're already cutting in. You're on deadline. Good luck. It's

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<v Speaker 2>such a hard thing to do. But hopefully he's on

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<v Speaker 2>the same page.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And he can be feeling this like chasm between

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<v Speaker 2>where you are and where he is, and he might

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<v Speaker 2>just you know, alleviate that pressure.

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<v Speaker 1>I like what you say about thinking people can't handle something,

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<v Speaker 1>so you're actually may be hurting them more. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>good luck, queen. And if you're already on your trip,

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<v Speaker 1>have the best time.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll have the best trip. I'm sure you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure you did what you need to do.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I was on little tickety talking and I came across

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<v Speaker 1>this TikTok that showed, sorry, rather played what ancient languages

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<v Speaker 1>sounded like. Can I play it for you?

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<v Speaker 2>What region? Like? How ancient are we talking?

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<v Speaker 1>How the English language has evolved over time?

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<v Speaker 2>Great, let's just get right into it.

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<v Speaker 1>So that was five thousand base proto Indo European. That's

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<v Speaker 1>seven hundred to two hundred BC. Man is West Germanic. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>and now I get into something that I find quite interesting. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to listen to these. This is old English.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is all the way up to like a

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<v Speaker 1>thousand years after Christ in yard failed Thrimia fruna usa

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<v Speaker 1>adlings ellen with is sure to English. March a person

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<v Speaker 1>to the road.

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<v Speaker 2>Start to the road. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And now this is where the King Henry came in.

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<v Speaker 2>In the middle of the table, a condo, woven draperies

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<v Speaker 2>upon them all there was a scanopy.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's pretty much giving English. But like pig Latin vibes.

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<v Speaker 2>One thing that English is missing now is the rhythmic

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<v Speaker 2>nature of it or language. Let's just say the English

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<v Speaker 2>language sounded much more rhythmic and musical. And if you

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<v Speaker 2>hang out with people who are learning English as a

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<v Speaker 2>second language, they'll often say that English, that's what it

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<v Speaker 2>sounds like, discernible. We didn't understand that when we could

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<v Speaker 2>hear gaps in sentences, and we could hear when intonation

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<v Speaker 2>was getting higher or lower and there was more intensity.

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<v Speaker 2>But now, oh.

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<v Speaker 1>Horrible, it is so interesting to think, yeah, what it

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<v Speaker 1>must sound like. It's like when you hear it other

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<v Speaker 1>language that you don't know. It just sounds like, how

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<v Speaker 1>do you even know what that person's saying?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But I think what other languages do not. I

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<v Speaker 2>think what Australian English fails to do that other languages

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<v Speaker 2>do better is the intonation, or the varying levels in

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<v Speaker 2>tone expresses what they're saying. For example, when we speak English,

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<v Speaker 2>we finish on the up. Oh where are you going? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Pre you on there? I'm so happy today. It's like

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<v Speaker 2>it's this like sing songy, but it's disjointed. It sounds

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<v Speaker 2>joyful when it's not. It sounds serious when it's not.

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<v Speaker 2>It's strange. And the contradictions in the language itself. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>this is so exciting. I was thinking the other day,

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<v Speaker 2>did you say, like, what comes after slay? Was I

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<v Speaker 2>having that conversation with you? Yeah? I think so, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>what comes after slavey? Because people had said it feels

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<v Speaker 2>outdated already? And I was thinking about how Internet language

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<v Speaker 2>evolves at such a rapid pace that so many things

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<v Speaker 2>lack meaning and we don't have the correct substitutes for

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<v Speaker 2>what they mean. And as we become more and more

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<v Speaker 2>isolated and create these new niches and niches and niches

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<v Speaker 2>and niches give it twenty years we were able to

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<v Speaker 2>understand each other, say, same age, same super no speak

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<v Speaker 2>English together.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was thinking we were all getting globalization. But

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<v Speaker 1>I guess it's the opposite.

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<v Speaker 2>The opposite. What does its giving mean?

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<v Speaker 1>But I know exactly what it's giving. The next one

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<v Speaker 1>is the C word. Everyone says that. Now. Previously, today

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<v Speaker 1>we brought attention to the phenomenon of swamp pass. Could

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<v Speaker 1>you give us a quick five second illustration.

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<v Speaker 2>What that is? I was told this information by a man.

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<v Speaker 2>Swamp pass is allegedly what happens when the moisture from

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<v Speaker 2>the behind is trapped in the box a brief that's

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<v Speaker 2>probably polyester, which is a big issue, and creates a

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<v Speaker 2>sort of moisture that emanates a smell.

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<v Speaker 1>A swamp past cent. You've smelled it once, you've smelled it.

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<v Speaker 2>For life, but off the badge of honestly remember where

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<v Speaker 2>you were.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, with that in mind, I think we need to

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<v Speaker 1>say on this theme, it's not often that I get

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<v Speaker 1>Flexi in the state of mind to be talking about

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<v Speaker 1>such activities. But we've got a wiki how how to

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<v Speaker 1>hold in a pool in embarrassing situations. I didn't come

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<v Speaker 1>up with this idea our producer Mickey did, can I

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<v Speaker 1>just say, please, doll.

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<v Speaker 2>It's more often the farting that's harder to hold in

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<v Speaker 2>than the poop because you know, like it's a different

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<v Speaker 2>trapping air in your stomach. That feeling of like that

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<v Speaker 2>gaseous trapped air is way more painful than I need

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<v Speaker 2>to go number two? Do reckon in my experience, Yeah, it's.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, Caitlin, have you ever need to fight so bad

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<v Speaker 1>that you went to the hospital?

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<v Speaker 2>WHOA Have I told you this story? No? Okay, well

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<v Speaker 2>this is contraction of life where you'd hold your fart

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<v Speaker 2>in your bush people. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So when I was growing up, I would get sick

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<v Speaker 1>all the time, nothing sad, just like classic batam into

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<v Speaker 1>some like Victorian child would have died. I had a

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<v Speaker 1>cartisan had asthma, so annoyed. Then I they had to

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<v Speaker 1>go on the bloody ventilin like machine things for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I had migrains that would make my body numb, like,

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<v Speaker 1>no wonder, your.

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<v Speaker 2>Parents just let you be your insane self because they've

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<v Speaker 2>already been through too much.

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<v Speaker 3>No more.

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<v Speaker 1>Literally Anyway, one time I was trying to get to

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<v Speaker 1>sleep and I just had this pain in my stomach,

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<v Speaker 1>like someone was stabbing me. I was killed her. But

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<v Speaker 1>I started hyperventilating. My parents like, we need to take

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<v Speaker 1>you to the hospital. My mom's a nurse, mind you,

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<v Speaker 1>so she we did it once over. She did that

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<v Speaker 1>one time. But she's like, okay, Like I was being

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<v Speaker 1>really upset, and she's like, I think you should get

0:12:24.480 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 1>up and try and walk and like see if it

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.160
<v Speaker 1>gets better. It's like, no, Mom, I'm not going to

0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 1>do it. Take me to the hospital. So mom and

0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:35.240
<v Speaker 1>dad take girl. I'm crying in the back. When I

0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:39.480
<v Speaker 1>say hyperventilating, it was giving panic. Stations were alerted. I

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.080
<v Speaker 1>remember going down the hill in Mount Waverley and it

0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 1>was bright lights. Anyway, Mom's like, all right, it's time

0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:47.480
<v Speaker 1>to get out and get into the hospital.

0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, why do I.

0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 1>Leave the car? One thirty second bout of walking and

0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:02.000
<v Speaker 1>it goes. I just it, son.

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm I can't. I've got to go.

0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 1>To the hospital now, and just thirty seconds of walking. Guys,

0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:11.880
<v Speaker 1>sometimes if you have that horrible sensation, you just.

0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:12.720
<v Speaker 2>Need it outside.

0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.439
<v Speaker 1>Depression, go outside, side farting, go outside, go outside. I'll

0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.720
<v Speaker 1>just now like a genuine call memory. So all gonna

0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 1>say is if you ever need to far walk.

0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.600
<v Speaker 2>Too many of you are getting it wrong when naming

0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:32.040
<v Speaker 2>your babies. Don't take it personally. It's the first time

0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.280
<v Speaker 2>you've done it, maybe the second or third, and so

0:13:34.360 --> 0:13:37.400
<v Speaker 2>you're not an expert. It takes ten thousand hours to

0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.360
<v Speaker 2>be an expert in something. Or is that false? It's

0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.200
<v Speaker 2>probably true. It's take ten thousand steps is a lie also,

0:13:43.320 --> 0:13:46.559
<v Speaker 2>but you just say something with confidence steps in regardless.

0:13:46.840 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 2>And so I'm trying to figure out how I can

0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:51.000
<v Speaker 2>be of surface to my community. And so I figured

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.600
<v Speaker 2>out how to ensure that you name your baby and

0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.040
<v Speaker 2>set them up for success. The number one thing everybody

0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.560
<v Speaker 2>is getting wrong is giving them one name. One first

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 2>name incorrect. I have one first name. I'm lucky, I've

0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 2>risen above it. I have to go find another one

0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:11.679
<v Speaker 2>because one is not enough and a last name does

0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:17.600
<v Speaker 2>not count. You need a minimum four names. They don't

0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:19.760
<v Speaker 2>need to be a quadruple barreled. It can be like

0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:23.000
<v Speaker 2>a primary name and then the other three and then

0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:27.200
<v Speaker 2>a surname. But you need four of those four. The

0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:30.960
<v Speaker 2>first has to be traditional. I don't want to say it,

0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.000
<v Speaker 2>but Catholic, Catholic.

0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:41.560
<v Speaker 3>Big any okay or Victorian, something Catholic, tra not colonial.

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.960
<v Speaker 3>Everyone's gonna have one, especially giving birth in the next hundred years.

0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 2>Do yourself a favor. So the second quirky, a little

0:14:52.440 --> 0:15:04.440
<v Speaker 2>something like a indigo, you know, Lucinda, Ah, Violet, Violet.

0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:09.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm talking more so like Wilma. Okay, okay, do you

0:15:09.320 --> 0:15:10.960
<v Speaker 2>know it's like it's a little bit quirky. There's a

0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:14.800
<v Speaker 2>little something to it, you know. The third one everybody

0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:17.280
<v Speaker 2>needs and a few of you might be opted out

0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.760
<v Speaker 2>of this one. You'll find it for yourself. An ethnic name.

0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.960
<v Speaker 2>I need to know, one that has origins from where

0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 2>you're from. I don't want to hear them like I'm Australian.

0:15:27.840 --> 0:15:30.920
<v Speaker 2>Let's go, let's dig deeper into the ancestry. And then

0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 2>the fourth one. And I've heard so many horror stories

0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:38.200
<v Speaker 2>about people who live life without the fourth name a nickname.

0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.360
<v Speaker 2>We all know that person who doesn't have a nickname.

0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.800
<v Speaker 2>Flex Oh, it's just just Jess anything.

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.720
<v Speaker 1>This is hitting a little too coast to home for

0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:51.000
<v Speaker 1>some Okay.

0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:58.040
<v Speaker 2>So it's just Chris, just okay, cool, It's just Caitlyn.

0:15:58.120 --> 0:15:58.680
<v Speaker 1>That's Kaitlin.

0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.320
<v Speaker 2>So, for example, let me give you an example of

0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:18.960
<v Speaker 2>a name that could work. Okay, Victoria Pumpkin, Lupeter cherry,

0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:20.800
<v Speaker 2>surname smith.

0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Do you see what I mean? Yeah? What you do

0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:29.880
<v Speaker 2>is as she's growing up developing identifying, she might say

0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 2>Victoria doesn't really fit. I'm more of a Cherry and

0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 2>people be like, well, not something a real name? Is it?

0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:40.560
<v Speaker 2>Actually it is? It is differ So when I have

0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.560
<v Speaker 2>to say, oh, your real name's not Flex, what's your

0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:48.080
<v Speaker 2>real name Lilian? It throws people off Lilian flex a handkin.

0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:52.440
<v Speaker 2>It's missing two other names to really sell the story.

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:56.080
<v Speaker 2>So do your children a favor. Understand that all we

0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:59.160
<v Speaker 2>do is people is find different ways to categorize and

0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.640
<v Speaker 2>stereotype each other. Right. When I used to go for

0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.240
<v Speaker 2>job in two years before I was flex, I would

0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:07.560
<v Speaker 2>say more often than not people would be like, oh,

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.840
<v Speaker 2>I didn't think you never mind. So it was the

0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:16.399
<v Speaker 2>amount of times people were like, I thought you'd be German. Interesting,

0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm here now, and who said I wasn't. I'm ah,

0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:32.000
<v Speaker 2>you're good, good job. So it goes I'm all I'm

0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.720
<v Speaker 2>just saying, and I just read an article in the ABC.

0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.000
<v Speaker 2>It's what we know already. People are going so far

0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:41.320
<v Speaker 2>as to changing their names legally in the cost of

0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:47.200
<v Speaker 2>living crisis to be more presentable or permissible of job opportunities.

0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:48.480
<v Speaker 2>Just know the world we live in.

0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:52.760
<v Speaker 1>That's me when I sign anything off LP, just in

0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 1>case everybody thinks I was a boy for clout in

0:17:56.040 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 1>the workplace.

0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Nice. You know what it worked? Nice?

0:17:59.920 --> 0:18:02.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean a little customer service for.

0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:03.640
<v Speaker 2>Hiding with the LP.

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and that's on that.

0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.840
<v Speaker 2>Don't ask what you can do for patriarchy, Ask what

0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:11.520
<v Speaker 2>patriarchy can do for you. Amen.