1
00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:06,920
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

2
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,239
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now.

3
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:12,440
Speaker 2: Hello, this is doctor Justin Colson. I'm here with Kylie,

4
00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:14,560
Speaker 2: my wife and co host and unto our six daughters.

5
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,919
Speaker 2: And it's the school holidays in our home state of Queensland,

6
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,560
Speaker 2: which means we're making the most of our time with

7
00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,480
Speaker 2: our kids, which means quality time with them, which means

8
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,440
Speaker 2: less time on the podcast. As a result, we've decided

9
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,320
Speaker 2: that we're just going to share brief snippets a handful

10
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,040
Speaker 2: of really simple ideas in your feed each day so

11
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:35,519
Speaker 2: that you can spend as much time as you can

12
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,919
Speaker 2: with your family as well, but get some good advice

13
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,800
Speaker 2: along the way. And Kylie today some advice that I

14
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,760
Speaker 2: think is really really important, especially for time poor, stressed

15
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,760
Speaker 2: our parents, and it's something that I really like. Tell

16
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:50,360
Speaker 2: me what you think of this. Every now and again

17
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 2: I come across the statement that really makes me go wow,

18
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:55,760
Speaker 2: Like that punched me right in the soul of plexus,

19
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:57,560
Speaker 2: That winded me. It kind of hurts a bit, shakes

20
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,400
Speaker 2: me up. And this is one of them. And I

21
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,760
Speaker 2: don't know where I found the quote. It's I just

22
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,080
Speaker 2: I don't know where it came from. When you criticize

23
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:11,399
Speaker 2: a child, they don't stop loving you, they stop loving themselves.

24
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:13,959
Speaker 1: It really hits it to the call, doesn't it?

25
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:14,360
Speaker 2: Wow?

26
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:16,600
Speaker 1: Because you see it all the time. You know, children

27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:21,520
Speaker 1: can be mistreated so terribly by the people that should

28
00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:26,240
Speaker 1: love them the most, and they just love them. You

29
00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 1: watch it, you watch it in a child. But that

30
00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:35,160
Speaker 1: recognition that the negativity that we push in their direction

31
00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,640
Speaker 1: actually becomes their inner voice. It changes the way they

32
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,240
Speaker 1: see themselves. That makes me cry.

33
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really it's been to be well, we're

34
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,440
Speaker 2: going to we'll spin it around so that it is

35
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,880
Speaker 2: inspiring and positive. But it's a great reminder as well,

36
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,800
Speaker 2: because sometimes I love what you've just said. It's almost

37
00:01:50,800 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 2: like our voice becomes their inner voice. Yeah, really, really

38
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,040
Speaker 2: really impactful. Our kids are going to see themselves as

39
00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,920
Speaker 2: valuable or otherwise based on how they're treated, particularly how

40
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 2: they're treated by us as their parents. And when they

41
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,680
Speaker 2: feel love and acceptance, you know what, they feel lovable

42
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:12,720
Speaker 2: and acceptable, But when our love is contingent and conditional,

43
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,600
Speaker 2: they feel like they're ownly valuable. When they're doing I'm

44
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 2: going to use air quotes the right thing which promotes

45
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:25,480
Speaker 2: insecurity and maybe even self loathing or pity. And when

46
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,120
Speaker 2: they feel like that about themselves, you know what happens

47
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:31,120
Speaker 2: to their behavior. It deteriorates, it gets terrible. It reflects

48
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:32,680
Speaker 2: how they perceive their value.

49
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,600
Speaker 1: So our challenge for today is to help your child

50
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,560
Speaker 1: feel like they matter and they belong no matter what

51
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 1: they do. Yeah.

52
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 2: Not only if you can do that today, even when

53
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,280
Speaker 2: they do the wrong stuff, when they're annoying, they'll be

54
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:51,240
Speaker 2: drawn to you because of your love, and then they'll

55
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,920
Speaker 2: actually feel worthy of that love and they'll act accordingly.

56
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 2: Big challenge. We're going to flip that statement from a

57
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,720
Speaker 2: negative to a positive and see if we can turn

58
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:03,919
Speaker 2: criticism in to unconditional love. We hope that you enjoy

59
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:06,680
Speaker 2: that tip. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin

60
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 2: Rulon from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.

61
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,760
Speaker 2: Hey have a great holiday. If you'd like more info

62
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,280
Speaker 2: about making your family happy because it Happy families dot

63
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:14,919
Speaker 2: com dot au