WEBVTT - Should House Deposits be 50/50? Hotline with Coopa

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<v Speaker 1>I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the

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<v Speaker 1>land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo

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<v Speaker 1>Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present

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<v Speaker 1>and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and

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<v Speaker 1>Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson,

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<v Speaker 1>and this is the Rise and Conquer podcast. This is

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and

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<v Speaker 1>becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs,

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<v Speaker 1>plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses

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<v Speaker 1>and being among Think of us as the perfect combo

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<v Speaker 1>of brunch with your besties mixed with self developments. No

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<v Speaker 1>matter where you are in your journey, We're here to

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<v Speaker 1>help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical

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<v Speaker 1>self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's

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<v Speaker 1>seat of your own life and stop letting life past

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<v Speaker 1>you by, then you're in the right place.

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<v Speaker 2>Hey everyone, Happy Friday. Today we have a hotline episode

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<v Speaker 2>for you. We are answering two of the community questions

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<v Speaker 2>touching on some common themes. First, we are chatting about

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<v Speaker 2>relationship dynamics when it comes to house deposits. Does it

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<v Speaker 2>need to be fifty to fifty or can you do

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<v Speaker 2>other things? We also touch on managing other family members'

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<v Speaker 2>opinions about this. Next, we talk about how long you

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<v Speaker 2>should wait for someone to propose and how to avoid

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<v Speaker 2>comparing yourself to others. Let's get straight into the episode.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey Cooper, welcome back.

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<v Speaker 4>Hello everyone, good to be back.

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<v Speaker 3>We're excited to have you. I've got some fun hotline

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<v Speaker 3>questions today, so I'll get straight into the first one.

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<v Speaker 3>My partner and I are planning on buying our first

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<v Speaker 3>home together, which is really exciting. We both currently live

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<v Speaker 3>at home and have never lived with anyone before. I

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<v Speaker 3>currently have more money saved than my partner, as he

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<v Speaker 3>would have around forty percent for a deposit and I

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<v Speaker 3>have sixty percent. I was totally fine with this not

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<v Speaker 3>being fifty to fifty, as I believe what goes around

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<v Speaker 3>comes around, and I don't feel everything with money needs

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<v Speaker 3>to be equal to be fair. However, my parents think otherwise.

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<v Speaker 3>My mum is super against this and feels we need

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<v Speaker 3>to be fifty to fifty in case something happens and

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<v Speaker 3>we split up, because then he will get half of

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<v Speaker 3>everything he didn't put exactly half in. Is this manifesting

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<v Speaker 3>bad energy. Also, could this be to do with limiting

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<v Speaker 3>beliefs around money that she holds? Would you guys go

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<v Speaker 3>fifty to fifty or just put whatever you have saved together? Also,

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<v Speaker 3>just to note, he is not lazy or anything. He

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<v Speaker 3>runs his own company and one of the reasons he

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<v Speaker 3>has less is because he has invested more than I

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<v Speaker 3>have ever saved into this company and hasn't earned it

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<v Speaker 3>back yet. I just want to disclose we're not financial advisors.

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<v Speaker 3>We're very much talking about this from an energetics perspective.

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<v Speaker 3>But what are your thoughts and feelings? I guess almost

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<v Speaker 3>in like a manifesting energetics abundance perspective on this situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, all right, So let's just start with what your

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<v Speaker 2>parents are saying. And you're bringing this up to yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>and you're saying to yourself that it's you don't mind,

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<v Speaker 2>like just it's okay to be honest, like it it

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<v Speaker 2>is something. Otherwise if it wasn't, you would.

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<v Speaker 4>Ask the question.

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<v Speaker 2>So true, it's all good, Like it's fine. It's very

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<v Speaker 2>natural because in a relationship it should be fifty to fifty,

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<v Speaker 2>but like fifty to fifty to me in a relationship

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<v Speaker 2>is any number, Like I can come home and I

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<v Speaker 2>can be a ten and Ash can be the ninety.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's all about compensation and just being there for

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<v Speaker 2>one another. And this is very like listen to your intuition,

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<v Speaker 2>like if this, if your partner is the one and

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<v Speaker 2>you're feeling really good about this, like go with it.

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<v Speaker 2>Your parents are just trying to protect you, absolutely. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>so they're not giving you bad advice. They just they're

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<v Speaker 2>thinking of the worst possible thing, and that's if you

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<v Speaker 2>split up, you're not going to get your money back.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, if you think about that sort of thing

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<v Speaker 2>and keep thinking about it, it's going to be a

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<v Speaker 2>problem because you're going to manifest it.

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<v Speaker 3>So it kind of is manifesting bad energy if you

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<v Speaker 3>focus on that.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, definitely.

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<v Speaker 2>So like you kind of answered your question a bit

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<v Speaker 2>and you're on the right path and you're doing really good.

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<v Speaker 2>But like with your parents, it might be a conversation

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<v Speaker 2>you're going to have them and say, I really appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>you giving me this advice. I'm going to take it

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<v Speaker 2>into consideration. But I've got it. I've got this. This

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<v Speaker 2>is my life and I'm very confident with my partner

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<v Speaker 2>like we're not going to split up, We're going to

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<v Speaker 2>work things out. It will come around. Plus it's just money,

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<v Speaker 2>like I would, yeah, get too focused on money when

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<v Speaker 2>the bigger picture is you want to be together and

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<v Speaker 2>be good together and feel the emotions and go through everything.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, and he knows that. He knows he's not

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<v Speaker 2>putting a lot in, so it's going to fuel him.

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<v Speaker 2>So there's so much good to this. And it's to

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<v Speaker 2>put those boundaries up with your parents, because.

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<v Speaker 4>I've had the sact same thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, not the exact same thing, but they've done it

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<v Speaker 2>in so many different ways to parentose.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but I feel like that's also parents, Like even

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<v Speaker 3>my friends have gone through similar things where your parents

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<v Speaker 3>do sometimes jump to the worst possible outcome because they

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<v Speaker 3>want to make sure that you're okay no matter what.

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<v Speaker 3>And that is like as if you're okay in the

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<v Speaker 3>worst possible outcome, then you'll find no matter what. And

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's just yeah, like you said, acknowledging that

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<v Speaker 3>that's where they're coming from and telling them like, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>it's all good.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like imagine if you did it and his businessiness

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<v Speaker 2>went off, Yeah, and he had a heap of money

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<v Speaker 2>or something.

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<v Speaker 3>And he does the center of the next house.

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<v Speaker 2>Or well he might do one hundred percent. Yeah, you

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<v Speaker 2>might be a home like. It's just not a good

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<v Speaker 2>practice to be fixated on money, as bigger and better

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<v Speaker 2>things to be focused on. And if there is money problems,

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<v Speaker 2>listen to the book How to be a Badass of

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<v Speaker 2>Making Money or a happy pocket full of Money.

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<v Speaker 1>We're just taking a quick break in today's podcast to

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<v Speaker 1>the episode.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so our second question, Hey all, wanting to know

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<v Speaker 3>how to keep a high vibration when feeling disappointed and impatient.

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<v Speaker 3>My partner and I have been together for almost four

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<v Speaker 3>years and we are happier and more in love than ever.

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<v Speaker 3>We talk about marriage and children all the time and

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<v Speaker 3>both note this is what we want with each other.

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<v Speaker 3>But I can't help but feel upset at the fact

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<v Speaker 3>he hasn't yet proposed. I get frustrated and upset seeing

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<v Speaker 3>everyone else get engaged and disappointed that it has not

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<v Speaker 3>happened yet for us. I get worried that people look

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<v Speaker 3>at me and think I mean an unhappy relationship or

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<v Speaker 3>he must not love me because we are not yet engaged,

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<v Speaker 3>And to be honest, it's sometimes how I feel. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>so proud to be with him and want the whole

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<v Speaker 3>world to know, Yet I feel like because he hasn't

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<v Speaker 3>proposed to me, it means he isn't proud to show

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<v Speaker 3>that I'm his for life to everyone he knows. I

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<v Speaker 3>know we are not engaged because of money and because

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<v Speaker 3>we want that time in our life to be special

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<v Speaker 3>and abundant, not forced and on a budget. But I

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<v Speaker 3>just can't help but feel so impatient for having to

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<v Speaker 3>wait so long for something I want and deserve, especially

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<v Speaker 3>when everyone else has it and I don't. I'm twenty

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<v Speaker 3>five and I'm ready any advice. This song was also

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<v Speaker 3>from our Facebook group guys, so be sure to hop.

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<v Speaker 4>In there if you're not good.

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<v Speaker 2>Question, I'm kind of feeling that. Yeah, like let's start

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<v Speaker 2>where like how he is feeling. So this is just

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<v Speaker 2>a good conversation that needs to happen between one another.

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<v Speaker 2>Where like I've said, to give him the safe space,

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<v Speaker 2>get on his level and understand why he is maybe

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<v Speaker 2>afraid do it. So like when someone is being pushed

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<v Speaker 2>into something, can forced you know, it's too much, Like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be forced into something. It's going

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<v Speaker 2>to just feel natural. And so like to start with yourself,

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<v Speaker 2>like try not to put so much pressure on yourself

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<v Speaker 2>to be in there from other people, Like stay in

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<v Speaker 2>your own lane, do what you're what you're doing. And

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<v Speaker 2>at the time, right now isn't the right time. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>trust the universe that maybe if you did it right

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<v Speaker 2>now it might not turn out right. So you're on

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<v Speaker 2>the right path and you're on the right journey right now.

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<v Speaker 2>And to enjoy now not being married, try and look

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<v Speaker 2>at it, at it in that era, in that way of.

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<v Speaker 3>And like not having kids, like just make the most

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<v Speaker 3>of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like be together and not have that burden of

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<v Speaker 2>doing what stereotypically everyone else is doing. Like be in

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<v Speaker 2>the moment of what you can both do to together

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<v Speaker 2>when you're not married.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know I.

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<v Speaker 3>Would even say it sounds like to me, it sounds

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<v Speaker 3>like she's had the conversation and they've decided not to

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<v Speaker 3>get engaged or married yet because they want that time

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<v Speaker 3>to not be stressful about money or like worried about

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<v Speaker 3>finances and they know they're not there yet or where

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<v Speaker 3>they want to be yet. But I'd ask if that's

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<v Speaker 3>actually how you feel now, because if you've decided with

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<v Speaker 3>him not to get engaged until you'll feel abundant doing it,

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<v Speaker 3>but you're upset about not being engaged, is it that

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<v Speaker 3>maybe being engaged means more to you now, whether you're

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<v Speaker 3>financially abundant or not.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Like they're all excuses.

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<v Speaker 2>So you need to just have a good conversation together

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<v Speaker 2>and ask him why because there's a lot of assumptions

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<v Speaker 2>and there's a lot of feelings of pressure on yourself

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<v Speaker 2>and let like have a deep conversation and say these

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<v Speaker 2>are my feelings towards it, like this is where I'm at.

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<v Speaker 2>Where are you at? Like whatever it is doesn't matter,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I'm here for you, like I want to be

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<v Speaker 2>with you. There's no pressure, like there's to give him

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<v Speaker 2>that safe space and say like it's all good and

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<v Speaker 2>there's no pressure. It's like whatever you're feeling, like understand

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<v Speaker 2>why he hasn't done it, Like there's a reason communication

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<v Speaker 2>is so powerful and we don't use it because we

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<v Speaker 2>get so consumed in our head. Oh what about if

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<v Speaker 2>he says something I don't want to hear. It's better

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<v Speaker 2>to know because the assumption in your head usually is worse.

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<v Speaker 2>But if it's his questions worse, like at least you'll know,

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<v Speaker 2>like have that conversation with him, and then when you know,

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<v Speaker 2>if he says, oh, like I'm just not quite ready yet.

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to do a few more things, like

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<v Speaker 2>it's probably not anything even to do with her, Like

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<v Speaker 2>it's something else. I think there's something going on in

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<v Speaker 2>his head and you just need to get there with him.

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<v Speaker 2>And it would be a struggle and it might be

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<v Speaker 2>hard to get it out of him. But like keep

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<v Speaker 2>saying stuff, keep talking to him and give him the

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<v Speaker 2>support and keep saying why yeah, Like keep saying like

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<v Speaker 2>why do you feel like that? Oh, that's that's really hard. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that pressure from everyone else too, and be

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<v Speaker 2>with him like he's your partner together.

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<v Speaker 3>I think also she needs clarity on what she actually

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<v Speaker 3>wants from this question. It sounds like she's very clouded

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<v Speaker 3>focusing on where everyone else is at yea and I focusing.

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<v Speaker 3>She's focusing so much on like other people's timelines and

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<v Speaker 3>other people getting engaged and married and having kids and

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<v Speaker 3>all the things, And it's like you need to almost

0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:44.480
<v Speaker 3>tune that noise out and go, am I actually happy

0:12:44.760 --> 0:12:48.120
<v Speaker 3>not being engaged right now? Am I actually happy not

0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 3>being married and not having kids yet? Or is this

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.760
<v Speaker 3>something that I truly want internally right now? I want kids?

0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.640
<v Speaker 3>And actually get clear on that, because sometimes you can

0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:02.959
<v Speaker 3>just get so overwhelmed with social media, like just noise

0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.240
<v Speaker 3>from everywhere on where you should be at, that you

0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.040
<v Speaker 3>can confuse that and think that's what you want when

0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.199
<v Speaker 3>it's actually not what you want, And as soon as

0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.000
<v Speaker 3>you sit down and think about what you actually want,

0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:14.600
<v Speaker 3>it's not that.

0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:19.679
<v Speaker 2>Yes, social media that is not the best thing from it.

0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:23.480
<v Speaker 4>Like I've had a pretty big detox with social media.

0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:24.720
<v Speaker 3>You have, you've done really well.

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:28.360
<v Speaker 2>I've done months and months. I have come back on

0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:32.400
<v Speaker 2>it and I follow twenty people now, so there's like

0:13:32.480 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 2>not much on it and I look at it a

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:37.520
<v Speaker 2>little bit and I just think, oh, it's anyway come

0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:41.679
<v Speaker 2>out and it's very specific. So if those things that

0:13:41.720 --> 0:13:44.880
<v Speaker 2>are popping up in your face, don't look at them,

0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 2>and then they won't pop up and be in the moment,

0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:51.680
<v Speaker 2>Like it's you keep getting popped up, like these things

0:13:51.679 --> 0:13:55.319
<v Speaker 2>popping up with other people's relationships and that sort of thing.

0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 2>If it's not there, you'll be thinking of your relationship

0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:03.200
<v Speaker 2>and what you can do together to be more exciting,

0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:07.120
<v Speaker 2>or how to get deeper and go to another level.

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:11.360
<v Speaker 2>Like stay in your lane, don't be in everyone else's lane.

0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:15.480
<v Speaker 2>That it's none of your business. Yeah, like that's their life.

0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.120
<v Speaker 4>You do. You starts with you.

0:14:18.520 --> 0:14:19.280
<v Speaker 3>I love the story.

0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:26.000
<v Speaker 2>It's it's always you. Yes, So I hope that helps.

0:14:26.280 --> 0:14:30.320
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, like even your age, that there's not a

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:34.400
<v Speaker 2>measure of what to do. I've done stuff so young,

0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 2>and people have done stuff later in life, but like

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.640
<v Speaker 2>they got to travel, they got to do with these

0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:44.920
<v Speaker 2>things that I never got to do. Like if you compare,

0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:48.760
<v Speaker 2>you'll always regret. But just know you're on the right

0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 2>path and you're doing the right thing and whatever comes

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 2>your way, like listen to your intuition and you're doing great,

0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:59.760
<v Speaker 2>Like you're exactly where you are and you're doing exactly

0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:02.080
<v Speaker 2>what you need to do, and you're on the right path.

0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:06.400
<v Speaker 4>And when you believe that, everything's a lot easier. Just

0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:09.480
<v Speaker 4>I love so. Yeah, don't put yourself in other people's shoes.

0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:10.160
<v Speaker 4>Stay in your.

0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:12.600
<v Speaker 3>Shoes except when you want to talk to them.

0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.400
<v Speaker 4>Then put yourself in this if you need it.

0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:23.440
<v Speaker 3>Amazing. Well, thank you so much, Cooper.

0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:24.480
<v Speaker 4>Thanks everyone.

0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:27.880
<v Speaker 3>If you have any questions, especially questions specifically for Cooper,

0:15:28.040 --> 0:15:30.480
<v Speaker 3>please be sure to either pop them in Facebook or

0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:31.600
<v Speaker 3>email them to us.

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:35.520
<v Speaker 4>We love answering them for you. Yes, bye everyone, Thanks bye.

0:15:39.280 --> 0:15:42.760
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for listening to another episode of

0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 1>the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:50.400
<v Speaker 1>want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer

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