1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 1: Jonesy and Amanda in the morning. Sam Our next. 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:08,400 Speaker 2: Guest is the Australian comedian who is selflessly selflessly I 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 2: tell you, take it upon himself to bring us a 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,560 Speaker 2: survivor's guide to coronavirus. Nazim is saying, is bringing us 5 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 2: the strange and silver linings of a world in crisis. 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,480 Speaker 2: Is with us this morning, Hussein oh Nazim. 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, good morning. 8 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 2: How are you guys? 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:25,160 Speaker 3: We're great, mate? How are you going in all this time? 10 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 3: Because you can't there's no work for you. 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,319 Speaker 1: No, that's right, And I feel like the blurb that 12 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: you just read out needs to be qualified. That was 13 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: supposed to ran in a sarcastic, very tongue in cheek. 14 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: For legal reasons, this is not a definitive guide. The 15 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 1: only people you'll hear on this podcast are extremely unqualified 16 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: comedians who probably have more conspiracy theories than value to 17 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: add to the world. 18 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 2: And what kind of so, what kind of advice then, 19 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,080 Speaker 2: have you been gleaning from them? 20 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: To be honest, I think we're all just struggling to 21 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:00,240 Speaker 1: find ways to will away the minute each day, and 22 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,160 Speaker 1: we're just trying to fill up hours while inside our home. 23 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: So comedians we're trained for this. 24 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 4: You know, we work one hour and. 25 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,399 Speaker 1: In the best of days, and now you know we're working, 26 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: so we're just entirely used to being at home. So 27 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: really everything from snacking to deep cleaning, to how to 28 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: stay fit, how to then compensate for your you know, 29 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,319 Speaker 1: the exercise with bad food, different recipes to Carol, we 30 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: had to prank call your friends, how to prank your parents. 31 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: I did a prank on my mom where she thought 32 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,520 Speaker 1: I had a tiger in my house and she actually 33 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: pained because I did. There's an augmented reality app that 34 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: you can use in the phone. Yeah, I sent my 35 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: mum a video of a tiger in my lounge and 36 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: she freaked out thinking that there was an actual tiger 37 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 1: in the house, and she told me to defeed it 38 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: and lock myself in the bedroom and stuff. She actually 39 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: call the corps or tell me to get out of 40 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: the house. She just did the locking of the toilet 41 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,880 Speaker 1: or for me to stay in the bedroom. But well, 42 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: to be honest, it's just it's just a weird podcast 43 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: with some funny guests. 44 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 3: But you've got some practical tips. And there was locking this, 45 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 3: locking your snacks in the trunk of your car, and 46 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 3: really is that one? 47 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: Well, you know what, So this morning I just did 48 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: a I did a virtual workout with my pet, and 49 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: you know it was it was horrible, so like pained. 50 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,040 Speaker 1: But the big problem is, he goes, Look, you can 51 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: exercise all you want, but like, but staying in shape 52 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: is more about diet. But if so, he goes, if 53 00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,079 Speaker 1: you but if you're around for it, if you see it, 54 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: you're more likely statistically to eat it. So he goes, Literally, 55 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 1: you need to hide it from yourself. 56 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 4: Even if you know where it is, You've. 57 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: Got to hide it. Put in your car boot, give 58 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: it to your neighbor. There is no homal. Just do 59 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 1: stuff so that it's out of sight. 60 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 4: So I tried to do that. 61 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: I took some stuff to the carboot, ate some of 62 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: it on the way. But really I've just been eating everything. 63 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 1: I just go to the carver or the fridge, just 64 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: like it's some sort of five dollars. 65 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 4: It's weird. 66 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: It's hard. It's hard when you're at time. I like 67 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 2: the idea of storing your ice cream in your boot. 68 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 2: How successful would that be? 69 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: Well, that's I think that's the loophole. 70 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 4: So I did say there's lots of things that can't 71 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 4: fit in my carpet. 72 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,240 Speaker 1: So what do I do? And he was just like, well, 73 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,120 Speaker 1: you know, you're only cheating yourself. 74 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, break the rule through. 75 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: So I've been a while. I put it weight. 76 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 4: I have to send him a photo once a week 77 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 4: of me topless, which is kind of a you need 78 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 4: to stand the shot, you go hold yourself accountable to 79 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 4: somebody or something. 80 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: So which is really and so he says, if I 81 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: start like eating badly or just not doing workouts, He's 82 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: just going to start releasing these photos. I'm in a 83 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:27,080 Speaker 1: bit of a. 84 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 3: Zoom. You're sending pictures of yourself topless to another man? 85 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 1: Exactly right? 86 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 3: Has he got a certificate of personal training or anything 87 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 3: like that? Have you seen some qualifications? 88 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: Well, you have a Facebook page, so that's surely something. 89 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 3: I just one time I went to see an osteopath. 90 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 3: I had some back trouble and we're standing. He was 91 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 3: just in a normal house and we're just in his 92 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,119 Speaker 3: lounge room and I've got my shirt off and he's 93 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,520 Speaker 3: got me bent over and I said, you know, at 94 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 3: some point, wouldn't you have certificates in your office? And 95 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,119 Speaker 3: he said, he's said, I'm qualified, got snacks in the car. 96 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 4: I thought you at some points and he'll be paying me. 97 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 3: Yes, let me Well, man, it's always great to talk 98 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 3: to you. Listen to Survivor's Guide to Coronavirus on the 99 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 3: free iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcast from. 100 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,479 Speaker 2: And you've got great people like Urgela Carlson, You've got 101 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 2: Joel Creese, You've got lots of fat people you're talking to. 102 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 2: It does sound great, Yeah, come. 103 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: On, really came on and he told us about a 104 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 1: secret girlfriend of his that he meant in the comments 105 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: section under one of his videos that went viral. Real. Yeah, yeah, 106 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:35,799 Speaker 1: he's a he's a legend. 107 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 4: We got the big man on. 108 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: Wow a current girlfriend. Well, I don't know, haven't given 109 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,200 Speaker 1: too much away, but basically he just started telling a 110 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: story about someone posted a video of him. You know, 111 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,159 Speaker 1: he went viral. I think he just he's just starting 112 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: to get his head. And by rality on the internet 113 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: comment I think he went through each one, found someone 114 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: that he liked the look of went to her profile, 115 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: messaging thank you for your message, saying about my music 116 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: you beautif imagine we're saving a message from Camal because 117 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: she commented under some random video. 118 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 3: And he asked asked for a topless shot, he got 119 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 3: one of you. 120 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:11,080 Speaker 2: Nice rack. 121 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 3: You fall for that once you look after yourself. 122 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: Nice to talk to you join the and Amanda in 123 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 1: the morning, but at one point seven tell you