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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the

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Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers Now.

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Speaker 2: All this week on the Happy Families Podcast, I'm doing

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Speaker 2: my best to have a no devices, no work holiday

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Speaker 2: break with my family. As a result, we've brought in

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Speaker 2: a special guest. Beck Delahoy is a former researcher. She

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Speaker 2: now writes about parenting rather than her niche field of neuropsychiatry.

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Speaker 2: She's a homeschool mum raising her three kids in Melbourne

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Speaker 2: with a husband of seven years and you can find

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Speaker 2: out more about Beck with her substack Bechdelahrooy dot substack

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Speaker 2: dot com. We'll link to that in the show notes.

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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, I'm Beck Delahoy. I've been working with Justin

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Speaker 1: behind the scenes for about a year now and I'm

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Speaker 1: a mum of three from Melbourne. Now to get you started,

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Speaker 1: there are a few things that I love best that

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Speaker 1: I think you should know. Apart from my family. I

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Speaker 1: love learning about nature and you can often spot me

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Speaker 1: out for a walk excitedly pointing out a mushroom or

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Speaker 1: a leaf curling spider or a caterpillar. To my kids.

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Speaker 1: I love reading and I often have at least two

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Speaker 1: books on the go at a time, and I love

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Speaker 1: doing fitness challenges with my husband, which is a different

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Speaker 1: challenge every year. About a month ago we completed this

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Speaker 1: year's challenge, a Spartan super It's a ten kilometer course

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Speaker 1: up and down the ski slopes of Mount Borbor, complete

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Speaker 1: with thirty obstacles which we had to pull ourselves over

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Speaker 1: and under. It was so much fun, but I already

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Speaker 1: have my sights set on next year's challenge, a half marathon.

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Speaker 1: Now this isn't my first half marathon. I've done one

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Speaker 1: a few years ago, and I'd really love to beat

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Speaker 1: my time, which means I need to be focused in

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Speaker 1: the way I train, which means I need a training plan.

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Speaker 1: Now at this point you might be thinking, what on

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Speaker 1: earth are you talking about? What does this have to

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Speaker 1: do with parenting? But don't worry, I'm getting there. See.

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Speaker 1: The most important thing to schedule into my training plan

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Speaker 1: isn't cardio or strength training. It's recovery day. Muscles don't

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Speaker 1: actually get stronger through squats and push ups and sprints.

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Speaker 1: They get stronger and they have a chance to recover

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Speaker 1: on a rest day, and the muscle fibers get a

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Speaker 1: chance to knit back together stronger than they were before.

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Speaker 1: So if as an athlete, I just pushed and pushed

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Speaker 1: and pushed every day with no chance for recovery, at best,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be reaching my full potential, and at worst,

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Speaker 1: I'd deplete my body and beheaded f illness or injury.

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Speaker 1: It's the same with parenting. We can push and push

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Speaker 1: and push every day, bouncing from work to disciplining the kids,

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Speaker 1: to cleaning the house, to being the kids taxi, to

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Speaker 1: cooking dinner, tweeting stories to talking kids into bed day

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Speaker 1: after day after day without breaks. And many of us

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Speaker 1: do that at times. But if we don't schedule in

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Speaker 1: time for rest and recovery, we will get depleted and

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Speaker 1: will risk illness or parental burnout. We need to allow

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Speaker 1: ourselves a chance to recover. I want to share with

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Speaker 1: you three ways how we can do that. One we

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Speaker 1: can recover on a daily basis. See after a big run,

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Speaker 1: tough weight session, I try to make sure the rest

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Speaker 1: of my day is fairly relaxed. And as parents, we

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Speaker 1: also need to factor in daily opportunities for recovery. That

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Speaker 1: could be doing a mindfulness meditation just before starting work.

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Speaker 1: It could mean taking time to eat lunch without any distractions.

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Speaker 1: It could be doing some progressive relaxation before bed. Maybe

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Speaker 1: your daily recovery looks like a walk around the block

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Speaker 1: with your partner or reading a good book in a

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Speaker 1: cozy corner. If you've ever tried to take a break

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Speaker 1: and ended up just scrolling Instagram or Facebook or the

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Speaker 1: titles of the shows on Netflix and it ended up

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Speaker 1: feeling worse at the end than you did at the start,

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Speaker 1: you know that not all breaks are equal. The key

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Speaker 1: to daily recovery is doing something that makes you feel

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Speaker 1: fulfilled and that you can do in fifteen minutes or

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Speaker 1: less so that there's no reason to miss it. Try

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Speaker 1: out a few different things and find what makes you

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Speaker 1: genuinely happy. Two weekly recovery. With parenting, it's so important

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Speaker 1: to find things that you can do on a weekly

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Speaker 1: basis that fills your soul. This is a bigger time

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Speaker 1: investment than daily recovery, which means it's even more important

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Speaker 1: to be intentional about scheduling it in. It could be

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Speaker 1: a Saturday morning brunch with friends every week. It could

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Speaker 1: be a Friday night date with your partner. It could

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Speaker 1: be taking time one evening a week to indulge in

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Speaker 1: a hobby that's just your own, such as a pottery

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Speaker 1: class or book club. When considering what you want to try,

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Speaker 1: think about which of your deeper emotional needs are going unmet.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you need more opportunity for connection, like if you

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Speaker 1: feel like most of your days like meaning full conversations

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Speaker 1: with others. Maybe you need more autonomy if your days

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Speaker 1: are food with doing things for others and you feel

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Speaker 1: as though you don't have time to choose to do

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Speaker 1: things for yourself. Or maybe you need chances to develop competence,

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Speaker 1: like when you feel your skills aren't being challenged and developed.

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Speaker 1: The last one is seasonal recovery. With parenting, it's so

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Speaker 1: easy to load up the calendar and the lead up

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Speaker 1: to Christmas or during the school holidays, only to feel

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Speaker 1: exhausted by the end of the holiday period. It takes

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Speaker 1: a lot of intentionality to say no to fun activities,

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Speaker 1: and in that recovery period, you could try having a

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Speaker 1: do nothing weekend on the last weekend of the school

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Speaker 1: holidays to allow time for rest, or try reducing the

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Speaker 1: number of extracurricular activities during December to allow time for

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Speaker 1: the Christmas activities you really want to get to. You

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Speaker 1: might also make it a tradition to have a stay

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Speaker 1: at home day after coming back from a family holiday

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Speaker 1: or after a big event like Easter. I want you

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Speaker 1: to know that working endlessly day after day to be

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Speaker 1: everything your kids need you to be doesn't make you

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Speaker 1: a good parent. It makes you a depleted parent. And

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Speaker 1: as tough as it can be to find time in

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Speaker 1: a busy calendar for rest, it's one of the most

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Speaker 1: important things you can do. It's so easy to say

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Speaker 1: that you can't afford to take the time to commit

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Speaker 1: to a weekly event for you or do some morning meditation,

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Speaker 1: or that you can't possibly scale back during the holiday period.

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Speaker 1: But the truth is that you can't afford not to

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Speaker 1: take some time for you. Pushing through will deplete you.

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Speaker 1: Resting will make you stronger. If you want to shop

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Speaker 1: for your kids in genuine ways, with the energy to

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Speaker 1: authentically be there for them and meet their needs, you

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Speaker 1: need to build in your recovery. Time. Recovery is the

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Speaker 1: key to success. It is so important to take some

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Speaker 1: time for you, so please go book it in now.

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Speaker 1: If you want to hear more stories like this, please

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Speaker 1: book me up on substack. It's Bechdlahoy dot substack dot

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Speaker 1: com b e c k D E l A h

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Speaker 1: O y, or on Instagram at bechd Lahoy. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for listening and I hope you enjoyed it. Bye.

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Speaker 2: That's it from bec this week, but if you've enjoyed

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Speaker 2: what she's had to say, let us know podcasts at

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Speaker 2: happy families dot com dot au, and of course you

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Speaker 2: can read more from Beck at Bechdelahoy dot substack dot

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Speaker 2: com