1
00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,080
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the

2
00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,399
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.

3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,039
Speaker 2: All this week on the Happy Families Podcast, I'm doing

4
00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:17,560
Speaker 2: my best to have a no devices, no work holiday

5
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,520
Speaker 2: break with my family. As a result, we've brought in

6
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,119
Speaker 2: a special guest. Beck Delahoy is a former researcher. She

7
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:30,040
Speaker 2: now writes about parenting rather than her niche field of neuropsychiatry.

8
00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,080
Speaker 2: She's a homeschool mum raising her three kids in Melbourne

9
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,600
Speaker 2: with a husband of seven years. And you can find

10
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,440
Speaker 2: out more about Beck with her substack Bechdelahoy dot substack

11
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:42,000
Speaker 2: dot com. We'll link to that in the show notes.

12
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,840
Speaker 1: Hello everyone, I am Beck Delahoy. I have been working

13
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,800
Speaker 1: with Justin behind the scenes for about a year now

14
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,040
Speaker 1: and he's very kindly offered me a chance to talk

15
00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,280
Speaker 1: on the podcast. So here I am today. Just a

16
00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,880
Speaker 1: few things you need to know about me. I have

17
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,280
Speaker 1: three kids, so I raised in Melbourne with my husband

18
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:06,399
Speaker 1: of seven years. I am a recovering perfectionist. I was

19
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,080
Speaker 1: a bit of a high achiever at school and well

20
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,160
Speaker 1: having kids that's forced me to let go a lot.

21
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,000
Speaker 1: I still like to do things well And the second

22
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,160
Speaker 1: thing you need to know is that I consider myself

23
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,240
Speaker 1: a fun mum during the long COVID lockdowns, and believe me,

24
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:22,200
Speaker 1: in Melbourne they were long. I set up an activity

25
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,160
Speaker 1: jar so that every day we could pull out an

26
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,440
Speaker 1: activity and have something fun to look forward to. And

27
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:31,520
Speaker 1: ever since the tradition has just kind of continued through

28
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,720
Speaker 1: our activity jar. I've taken the kids to the farm,

29
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 1: to the beach and to the museum. We've gone dandelion picking,

30
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 1: and taken our bikes to the BMX track with even

31
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,759
Speaker 1: gone puddle jumping. That's why I have blown the dark

32
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,840
Speaker 1: gum boots. But sometimes I can get so caught up

33
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,600
Speaker 1: in planning the fun that I miss out on the

34
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,920
Speaker 1: fund that's already there. A few weeks ago we were

35
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,320
Speaker 1: having a relaxed day. We didn't have anything planned, so

36
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,720
Speaker 1: once I'd gotten through the housework, I started checking in

37
00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,480
Speaker 1: with the kids every half hour or so asking if

38
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:04,000
Speaker 1: they were ready to do an activity from the jar. Surprisingly,

39
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,360
Speaker 1: they kept saying no. They were busy building a cubby,

40
00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,880
Speaker 1: then playing with cars, and then throwing a burrito around

41
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:15,240
Speaker 1: a toy burrito. I'm a fun mum, but I have limits.

42
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,280
Speaker 1: We don't do food fights anyway. So I put out

43
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,600
Speaker 1: my laptop, got through some work, and I just let

44
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:24,440
Speaker 1: them be. Come late afternoon and I'm starting to get bored.

45
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,760
Speaker 1: I've gotten through my work. The house is decently clean,

46
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,360
Speaker 1: considering I've got three kids who often make mess quicker

47
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,200
Speaker 1: than I can tidy it. But we've been home all

48
00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:36,520
Speaker 1: day and we haven't done anything fun yet. We haven't

49
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,120
Speaker 1: chosen had activity to do, and if we don't start soon,

50
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,280
Speaker 1: we'll run out of time before I have to start

51
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:44,880
Speaker 1: on dinner. I'm just about to really push my kids

52
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,839
Speaker 1: to stop playing so you can pick an activity, when

53
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:51,400
Speaker 1: I realize how ridiculous what I'm saying in my head is.

54
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,120
Speaker 1: They were already having fun. I was just too busy

55
00:02:56,120 --> 00:03:00,440
Speaker 1: planning my fun to notice their fun. I put the

56
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,080
Speaker 1: activity jar back on the bench or it belongs. I

57
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,920
Speaker 1: stepped outside and I watched them. They mixed together a

58
00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,480
Speaker 1: bucket of mud. Then they took off all their clothes

59
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,239
Speaker 1: and coated their whole bodies in mud, telling me that

60
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,280
Speaker 1: that's just what you do when you live outside. Apparently

61
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 1: they live outside now anyway. So I quickly ducked back inside,

62
00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 1: pulled out towels, and set everything up inside for a

63
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 1: clean transition to the bath. And then I joined in.

64
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:31,280
Speaker 1: I got my hands muddy, just my hands. We have

65
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:34,040
Speaker 1: neighbors who do not need to see me covering myself

66
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:36,920
Speaker 1: in mud. Then I hoed them down with a sprinkler.

67
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,160
Speaker 1: I threw mud back at them when they splashed it

68
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,600
Speaker 1: onto me. We laughed, We enjoyed the moment, and we

69
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,800
Speaker 1: all went inside together at the end to get cleaned off.

70
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,640
Speaker 1: Having fun with your kids doesn't need to be pinterest

71
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,320
Speaker 1: perfect or instaworthy. It doesn't need to be pre planned

72
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,280
Speaker 1: or pre booked. When we set aside our plans, we

73
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,600
Speaker 1: can join them in their spontaneity. Their fun can be

74
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 1: your fun too. Give it a go. Watch your kids

75
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,920
Speaker 1: for ten minutes, see what they're up to join in

76
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,240
Speaker 1: and I hope you have so much fun. And if

77
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,680
Speaker 1: you've enjoyed today's podcast, I want to hear more stories

78
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,520
Speaker 1: like it. Please check me out on Instagram and substack.

79
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:18,240
Speaker 1: That's at bech delahoy b E c K D E

80
00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:22,240
Speaker 1: l A h O y on Instagram and bechdelahoy dot

81
00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:26,080
Speaker 1: substack dot com on substack. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed

82
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:29,839
Speaker 1: that and keep tuning in. Thanks guys, Bye.

83
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,560
Speaker 2: I hope you really enjoyed Beck's ideas. You can read

84
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:37,840
Speaker 2: more from Beck Delahoy at Bechdelahoy dot substack dot com.

85
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,120
Speaker 2: I've been a really big supporter and fan of what

86
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,640
Speaker 2: she's been writing. I think she's doing great work and

87
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,960
Speaker 2: her voice is valuable. Becks back again tomorrow on the

88
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,160
Speaker 2: Happy Families podcasts.