1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 2: wants answers Now Gooday. 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson, the founder of Happy Families 5 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 3: dot com dot A you, dad toes six, daughter's husband 6 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 3: to one wife and the parenting expert and co host 7 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 3: on chan Lyne's Parental Guidance. Also the host of this podcast, 8 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,720 Speaker 3: that Happy Families Podcast. Thank you so much for listening 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:28,440 Speaker 3: and allowing me into your life to hopefully be useful 10 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 3: in making your family happier. Right now, school holidays in Queensland, 11 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 3: which means that I'm doing my best to spend as 12 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 3: much time in the sunshine with Kylie and the girls 13 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,280 Speaker 3: as I can. Today's guest is one of Australia's most 14 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 3: well known media personalities and somebody else who is going 15 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 3: to be joining me in the Happy Family's Hot Mess Summit. 16 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,680 Speaker 3: If you haven't heard the news, we've got another summit 17 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 3: coming up. We've done Bringing up Boys, We've done Misconnection, 18 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 3: We've done little People, Big Feelings, and now the Happy 19 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: Families Hot Mess Summit. It's just around the corner. All 20 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 3: the details are at Happy Families dot com dot AU 21 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 3: or on the Happy Family Facebook page. We're going to 22 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 3: be talking about how you can help your family to 23 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 3: be less of a hot mess and be more joyful 24 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 3: and function better. And somebody who's life literally is on 25 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 3: the record as being from time to time a really 26 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 3: hot mess, but somebody who is also so inspirational in 27 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 3: the way that she's dealt with it is Jessica Row. 28 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 3: That's who we're going to be having as part of 29 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 3: the hot Mess Summit, and it's a wonderful conversation that 30 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 3: we'll have there. But I wanted to get her on 31 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 3: the Happy Families podcast to let you know what you 32 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 3: could be in for and to have Jessica rowe participate 33 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 3: in a Lightning Round. Thank you so much for being here. 34 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: Jess Oh, it's so good to be talking to you 35 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: justin You know how much I love. 36 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 2: Chatting with you. 37 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,479 Speaker 3: Well, I love chatting with you as well. The Lightning 38 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,880 Speaker 3: Round is something that you haven't done before, though, and 39 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:44,960 Speaker 3: it's going to put you on the spot and put 40 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:48,919 Speaker 3: you into a couple of awkward positions because it's fun. 41 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 3: But this is a lightning round, so we're looking for short, 42 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 3: quick answers and we're just going to play around with 43 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 3: some ideas about being a parent. Are you ready to 44 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 3: dive in to the happy family's lightning round? 45 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm ready, but sure. You see, this will be much 46 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: for me because you know, I like to talk, so it's. 47 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 3: Got to be shot. That's why you're so much fun. 48 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 3: All right, let's start with the basic ones. Tell us 49 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 3: how many kids you've gotten? How old? 50 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: Okay, two daughters. Allegra is fifteen and Gizelle is thirteen. 51 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 3: Do you have a favorite child? 52 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 2: No, of course I don't have a favorite child. 53 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 3: Who do you love most? Peter, your partner, your husband, 54 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:22,440 Speaker 3: or your kids? 55 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 2: All? 56 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,600 Speaker 1: Oh? No, choose yeah, no, because I don't think you 57 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: can say you. 58 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 2: Love someone the most. 59 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: I love my husband in a different way to how 60 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: I love my kids, But if I think about the 61 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: enormity of the love, it's definitely my kids. 62 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 3: Yes, ideal number of kids. Two, that's firm. 63 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:48,119 Speaker 2: Oh, I knew when I was pregnant with Gizelle. I'm like, nah, 64 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 2: that's it. I'm not doing this again. 65 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 3: How do you rate yourself as a parent? 66 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,119 Speaker 1: You know I would in the past have rated myself low, 67 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: but I'm going to give myself a nine. 68 00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:58,839 Speaker 2: Out of ten. 69 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 3: Wow, big school, nice work, good on you for backing yourself. Jess. 70 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 3: What's something great, something great that your parents did that 71 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 3: you've tried to continue in your parenting. 72 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 2: Oh, it's hard to think of just one thing. 73 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: Both of my parents, even though they're divorced, they both 74 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: were very encouraging about using our voices to make a difference. 75 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:25,639 Speaker 1: And I very much try with both of my daughters 76 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: to empower them to stand up for what they believe 77 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 1: in and to know that they can make a change. 78 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 2: Don't wait for other people, you can do something. 79 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 3: I like that a lot, Jess. This is one of 80 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 3: the trickiest questions you'll get in this lightning round. Who 81 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 3: is the better parent, you or Peter. 82 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 2: Oh, well, I'll say me, but no, you know what, 83 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: We're different. 84 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: Pete is much more strict in inverted commas, but he 85 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: really is a softy, whereas I'm more free in the 86 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: sense I've always been a lot more flexible and sort 87 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,119 Speaker 1: of I suppose more fun, dare I say? And Pete's 88 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: more that I don't want to say enforce it because 89 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: that makes him sound really tough. 90 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 2: But he's Pete's more that, No, come on, we've got 91 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 2: to do this and let's get up. But up, but 92 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,039 Speaker 2: up Rose, I'll still be having a cup of coffee. 93 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 3: In bed in your army's dressing gown. I get it. 94 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 3: Tough one for you. What's the hardest thing about being 95 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 3: a parent? 96 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 2: Oh? Does there just have to be one? I think 97 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 2: being a parent it's so hard. 98 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 3: Nobody said that the hardest thing about being a parent 99 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 3: is being a parent. 100 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 1: But if I had to one, Oh, I can't even 101 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,839 Speaker 1: say there's just one particular thing that stands out. 102 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 2: I think letting go. 103 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: Being a parent, I'm discovering is a series of letting goes, 104 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: and each stage you have to let go of a 105 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 1: bit more and give your kids a bit more room 106 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,560 Speaker 1: to grow and for them to sort of thrive, but 107 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: also without because I have a tendency to be a 108 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: bit of a helicopter, so I think a series of 109 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: letting guys that that's what I find difficult to do. 110 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 3: If you could spend an hour with your children at 111 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 3: any age, Jessica Rome, what age would you choose? And why, 112 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 3: I've got. 113 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 2: To say, at the moment, who knows what the future 114 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 2: will be like. 115 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: I far more enjoy spending time with my daughters now 116 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: that they're older. 117 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,559 Speaker 2: Of course, the love never ends. 118 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: But when they were little, I found that really hard. 119 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: I found it boring. I found it exhausting, tedious, and 120 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 1: just relentless. 121 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 2: And now I'm loving the relationships that I have with 122 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 2: my daughters. I love the conversations. 123 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: I love the things that we can do together, even though, 124 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,719 Speaker 1: of course, being teenagers, a lot of the time they're like, 125 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: oh momy's so embarrassing, we're not doing that. 126 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 2: But I think. 127 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: Now I'm enjoying the young women that they're becoming and 128 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: spending time with them. 129 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 3: So an obvious follow on is what's the ultimate joy 130 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 3: for you being a parent? 131 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 2: Oh? Being together as a family. 132 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,719 Speaker 1: On Saturday night, we went to our local Italian restaurant 133 00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 1: and it's our sort of family place, and the four 134 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: of us were there and we were chatting and laughing, 135 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: and to me, that was such a moment of Yes, 136 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: this is the stuff of life. 137 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 2: I didn't want to be anywhere else. 138 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 3: This is the most controversial question I'm going to ask you, Jess, 139 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 3: what's the right age for kids to have a mobile phone? 140 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 2: Oh? 141 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 3: Do you know I think I hate this question because 142 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 3: I get it all the time, right. 143 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 1: I know, I think, don't put it, Why make it 144 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:58,040 Speaker 1: an arbitrary age because kids matured differently and depending on 145 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: family circumstances, and are on public transport, all those sorts 146 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,920 Speaker 1: of things, living in two different homes, all that sort 147 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: of stuff. They might be needing a mobile phone, you know, 148 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: more than another child of the same age. So I 149 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 1: think you do what's right for your family, and it's 150 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: all well and good. 151 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 2: I think to be. 152 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: Really draconian about mobile phones. This, this, this, this, this, 153 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: Have a look at how you're using your mobile phone 154 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:27,640 Speaker 1: as a parent, because our kids are like sponges and 155 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: they model our behavior. So if you're not off your 156 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: mobile phone, if you're on it too much, then of course, 157 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 1: how can you possibly ask your kids to put their 158 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: phone down? 159 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 3: Okay, so a senseible answer, tinged with a side dose 160 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 3: of guilt. 161 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 4: Thank you, phone, though there's nothing wrong with I used 162 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 4: to hide in the bathroom, especially when my kids were small, 163 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 4: on my phone because they were doing my head in 164 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 4: doing that. 165 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 3: I love it. Last handful of questions here we go. 166 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 3: What's that thing your parents always said that you swore 167 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 3: you would never say, but it keeps on popping out 168 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 3: of your mouth. 169 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 2: Anyway, Stop hitting. 170 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:15,040 Speaker 1: Your sister, Leave your sister alone. 171 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 3: What's your kid's favorite thing to do with you? 172 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:22,119 Speaker 1: Jess, I reckon just to hang out together, to pump 173 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,960 Speaker 1: up the music in the car and have a sing 174 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: and while I might be singing, but just to be together. 175 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 2: I reckon, what. 176 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 3: Are you most looking forward to as a mum? 177 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 2: You know what? I'm happy now? 178 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: I try and not get too far ahead of myself 179 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: and think about what am I enjoying now. 180 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 2: I love that my kids sleep in be teenagers. They 181 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 2: don't get out of bed on the weekends. 182 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: Yes, so I don't have to get up super early 183 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: and I can have a cup of coffee in bed. 184 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,040 Speaker 2: That's what I love. 185 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: And I think when my kids were much smaller, that 186 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: was what I used to long for. 187 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 2: I now have that, and I'm very content. 188 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 3: So funny that you have that approach. I know that 189 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:03,360 Speaker 3: this is a lightning round and we've only got two 190 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 3: questions to go. But I can't help but jump in 191 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,080 Speaker 3: when you say that, because because I'm the kind of 192 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 3: person that I am, Like, let's make the most of 193 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 3: every minute of every day. Let's go and enjoy the sunshine, 194 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 3: the beach, Let's go for a bike ride, Let's get 195 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 3: into the mountains, Let's do stuff. I've got this thing. 196 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 3: I can't bear to watch my kids. Even my teenagers 197 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 3: sleep in I still get them up. It's just not 198 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 3: within me. I can't do it. Maybe I'm a bad 199 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 3: paranaph for all jest. 200 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 2: But let them sleep. 201 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 3: Last two questions. Number one, if you could go back 202 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 3: to you as a young mum having one of those 203 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 3: tough moments, being inexperienced. You're suffering from postnatal depression, what 204 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 3: advice would you give yourself looking back? Now? 205 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,720 Speaker 2: You will get through this, It's going to get better. 206 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 2: Hang in there. 207 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,959 Speaker 3: So many people say something just like that when I 208 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 3: asked that question. Last one, what's been your biggest win 209 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 3: as a mum? Oh? 210 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 1: My, b I tell you this is a goody. I 211 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: reckon recently. Giselle, my youngest who's thirteen, she said to 212 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: me in the car recently, she said, Mom, I know 213 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: that you dress in a bit of a crazy way 214 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 1: and you're a little bit out there, but I actually 215 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 1: really like that. I prefer that you're like that. I 216 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 1: like that you're not a boring mum. So for me, 217 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 1: I was like. 218 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, cu the stadium applause. 219 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: Yes, I'll take that today. Thank you. 220 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 3: Jessica Rowe, It's been such a delight talking with you 221 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 3: for a Happy Family's Lightning Round. Thank you so much 222 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,080 Speaker 3: for being on The Happy Family's podcast. 223 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, Justin love you as always. 224 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 3: The Happy Family's Podcast is produced by Justin Rouland from 225 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 3: Bridge Media. We so appreciate the great work that Justin 226 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,600 Speaker 3: does and Craig Bruce, the brain's behind the operation, our 227 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 3: executive producer. Thank you, Craig. If you want more information 228 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 3: about making your family happier or about the upcoming Happy 229 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 3: Family's Hot Mess Summit, which I know it before and 230 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 3: I don't want to sound like I'm overselling it, but 231 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 3: it literally is going to be the best summit that 232 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 3: we have ever done. Visit us at Happy Families dot 233 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 3: com dot U or check out our Facebook page Doctor 234 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 3: Justin Colson's Happy Families