1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 2: once answers. 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,039 Speaker 3: Now, when it's holidays and you book a holiday, make 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 3: sure that you're available for the holiday. Don't book, don't 6 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 3: pay the money, and don't send your family away while 7 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 3: you go somewhere else and do work. 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 2: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum 9 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: and dad. 10 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: Hello, this is Justin. I'm here with Kylie. 11 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 3: We are so excited that it's Friday and that we 12 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,280 Speaker 3: get to tell you all about what life is like 13 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 3: in the Courson Home with our old do Better Tomorrow episode. 14 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: Just before we do. I'm very very excited. 15 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,239 Speaker 3: Well actually I'm kind of a bit sad, but two 16 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 3: big things are happening today and tomorrow. I'm shooting off 17 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 3: on an aeroplane shortly heading to Sydney for the Positive 18 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,919 Speaker 3: Education and Schools Association Conference. It's being held in one 19 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 3: of the really wonderful, wonderful schools on the north shore 20 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 3: of Sydney, and I'm going to be a speaker there, 21 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,240 Speaker 3: so I'm really looking forward to talking about how educators 22 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,280 Speaker 3: can bring more wellbeing strategies into the classroom so that 23 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 3: our kids can thrive and then tomorrow the Resilient Kids Conference. 24 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: I'm going to be in Melbourne for that. 25 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 3: If you haven't looked it up, if you if you're 26 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 3: in Melbourne and you can make it, this is going 27 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 3: to be an absolute hum digger, Kylie Humdinger. 28 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,360 Speaker 1: How long's it been since somebody talked about being Humdinger. 29 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: It's going to be a. 30 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 3: Humdinger of a conference. I'm just just saying it's going 31 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 3: to be fantastic. And then I get home on Saturday 32 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 3: night so I can be with my family again, that's 33 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 3: the nature of what we do. 34 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: So if I'm for your birthday, oh, I can't believe 35 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: you brought that up. 36 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,280 Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm having my birthday this weekend as well. 37 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 3: We have our birthdays three days apart. 38 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,760 Speaker 4: But the reason that I'm sharing all of that is 39 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 4: because if you work for a school, or if your 40 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 4: kids go to a school where you think it'd be 41 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 4: awesome to have me show up and do some work 42 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,400 Speaker 4: with teachers, with parents, even with the students, you can 43 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 4: get in touch with this info at Happy Families dot 44 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 4: com dot au and let us know about it. 45 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 3: Because I love to visit people and give talks and 46 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 3: inspiration and help families to be happier and help teachers 47 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 3: to make their classrooms hum and all that kind of thing. 48 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 1: All right, every Friday, Kyler, let's get to do it. 49 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: Every Friday. We call it. I'll do better tomorrow. 50 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 3: This is where we probably give you too close a look. 51 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,840 Speaker 3: We overshare and give you way too much information about 52 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 3: what's happening in our family as we try to be 53 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 3: intentional parents and give you some inspo for how you 54 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 3: can be more intentional as well. A couple of things 55 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 3: we need to talk about. We've got a debrief on 56 00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 3: the holidays because I completely blew it. Fortunately the kids 57 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,280 Speaker 3: loved it anyway, but I completely blew it. 58 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 5: And then we might mention day one of term four. 59 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it. I'm going to start with the confession. 60 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 3: And I feel really bad saying that. Because I'm the 61 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 3: parenting expert, I not supposed to get it all right, 62 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 3: but these were possibly the holidays where I was less 63 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 3: available to my family than ever before in history, and 64 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 3: I feel really bad about it. Here's the thing, right, 65 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 3: So every state has holidays that don't quite marry up. 66 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 3: There's a bit of overlap with the holidays, but they 67 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 3: don't marry up exactly. So when Queensland went on school holidays, 68 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,120 Speaker 3: Adelaide did not. 69 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, South Australia still had people at school. 70 00:02:56,320 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 3: And as it happens, my team booked me almost every 71 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 3: single day in Adelaide to give a talk at a 72 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 3: school or at a conference or whatever it might be, 73 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,239 Speaker 3: which meant that the holiday that you and I booked 74 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 3: without me checking my diary because it was school holidays 75 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 3: ended up being a holiday that you went on without me, 76 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 3: and I caught up with you for the last day 77 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 3: and a half. I don't even know where to go 78 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 3: with this except to say, any parent who is within 79 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 3: the sound of my podcast, when it's holidays and you 80 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 3: book a holiday, make sure that you're available for the holiday. 81 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 3: Don't book, don't pay the money, and don't send your 82 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 3: family away while. 83 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: You go somewhere else and do work great. 84 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 5: Take home honey, make sure you listen to it. 85 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: It was so bad. 86 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 3: So we've started planning our holidays twelve months in events 87 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 3: as of these holidays because I completely. 88 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:43,119 Speaker 1: Got it wrong. 89 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 3: Even if we're not going away, we're just going to 90 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 3: make sure the team knows this is dedicated time for 91 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 3: my family. 92 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: Oh boy. 93 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,400 Speaker 2: So anyway, outside of that three days that we went 94 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:55,360 Speaker 2: away a lot of stuff. These holidays were actually supposed 95 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 2: to be a non event. We had nothing planned. You 96 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: were going to be away for the first week and 97 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 2: we're going to be writing a book the second week. 98 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 3: So can I also say I'm not going to commit 99 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 3: to twenty more books? 100 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: What you heard me? I'm not going to Jay? 101 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 5: How can you just repeat that? What did he say? 102 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 3: I'm not going to commit to twenty more books. I 103 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 3: can't believe you're replaying this. I can't believe that you're 104 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:17,080 Speaker 3: doing that to me. 105 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 1: Boy, I have that. 106 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 5: In actually on tape. Now it's recorded. 107 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,040 Speaker 3: Let's just bear in mind. I've got two more books 108 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 3: to write after this, but I'm not going to commit twenty. 109 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 5: More till when. 110 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: Well, I'm just I'm not going to commit till when. 111 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: Let's just leave it there. 112 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,920 Speaker 3: But I couldn't concentrate and be with the kid. I 113 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 3: didn't work much, but having that massive overdue project hanging 114 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 3: over my head like a storm cloud really did make 115 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 3: it hard for me to be a good, involved, present parent. 116 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,160 Speaker 3: And so I just my I'd do better tomorrow is 117 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 3: that I've got to get my priorities in order. So 118 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,159 Speaker 3: that we can have good holidays as a family and 119 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 3: we can have high quality time together. 120 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: That's that's me. Okay, let's talk about you. 121 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,479 Speaker 5: Let's talk about me. 122 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,839 Speaker 1: Let's talk about what you learned. What's your old do about 123 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,160 Speaker 1: it tomorrow? Because I'm feeling really bad. 124 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 2: Well, look, like I said, our holidays, there wasn't there 125 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 2: wasn't much happening in our holidays whatsoever. Our April babies 126 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 2: missed out on birthdays this year because we were in 127 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 2: between how yeah, we were moving here, and so I 128 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 2: had promised them that once we were settled. I would 129 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: put on a birthday party for them. Well, we ended 130 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 2: up pretty much having a half year party. 131 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 3: Which is so awesome. I'm so glad that you did it. 132 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 3: Who cares if their birthday was back in April, Like, 133 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 3: just celebrate their birthday. It's great and it. 134 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 5: Was really nice. 135 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 2: And again, because we've moved into a new community, I 136 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 2: actually think that it worked out beautifully because back in April, 137 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 2: they didn't really have any connections. But they've had three 138 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 2: terms at school, they've done a few extracurricular activities, They've 139 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 2: started to get to know people within their own community, 140 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 2: and so when their friends came over that you could 141 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:47,840 Speaker 2: tell they were actually friends. 142 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,120 Speaker 3: It's a great take home message for anyone who's going 143 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 3: through a move, or who's gone through a move recently, 144 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,159 Speaker 3: had the party six months down the track when they've 145 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 3: got friends, when they know people, rather than try to 146 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: do it on day one, if that's when the party 147 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,360 Speaker 3: fallsed you, I think that's a great take home message. 148 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,840 Speaker 2: And so the other fun thing about the parties was 149 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 2: a few weeks prior to the holidays, Women's Weekly has 150 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,479 Speaker 2: just brought out their fortieth anniversary cake book. Do you 151 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 2: remember that cake book that we as kids? I would 152 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 2: look through that book and plan the next seven. 153 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 1: Years that day gate. I spent a lot of afternoons 154 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: salivating into that book. 155 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 3: That's pretty gross. I can't believe I said that, you 156 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 3: know what I mean? Those cakes always looked so attractive 157 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 3: to kids. 158 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 2: And what was so funny was when I brought it 159 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 2: home our eighteen year old, she was like, I remember 160 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,880 Speaker 2: this book and she flicked through it and she said, 161 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 2: you made me this cake and this cake, and did 162 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: you make this cake for Chanel? And she went through 163 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,599 Speaker 2: and reminded me of all of these cakes that I 164 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 2: had made. 165 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: That amazing memories, memories from cakes. 166 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 2: It was very, very cute. So that was a really 167 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,679 Speaker 2: nice addition to the holidays. It gave me a day 168 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,520 Speaker 2: to actually prep with the girl whose party it was for, 169 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 2: and then obviously they had their day with their friends. 170 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 2: But then the other thing that we did, which I 171 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 2: actually we've done it a handful of times, but this 172 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 2: time felt different, and it felt really really good to 173 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 2: do it. We invited our neighbors in our street. We've 174 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 2: got probably what twenty four houses in our street. We're 175 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: in a little cold sat We invited them to breakfast, 176 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,200 Speaker 2: just to say thank you for making us feel so welcome. 177 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad you mentioned this. 178 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 3: So, I mean, we always talk about the importance of community, 179 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 3: the importance of building your village. And we cracked open 180 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: the barbecue and cooked bacon. 181 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 2: And eggs for the neighborhood, basically cooked some muffins and 182 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 2: banana bread. And it was number one, so well attended 183 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: and really really well received. 184 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 3: It's amazing when you get forty or fifty neighbors standing 185 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 3: in your backyard. 186 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 5: You couldn't hear the music that we'd put on. Could. 187 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 3: They all started talking. I was like, well, it's a 188 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 3: good thing the whole neighborhoods here, because the amount of 189 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 3: racket that they're making, they wake up the neighborhood. It 190 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 3: was great, but sense of community, sense of village, and 191 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 3: I just thought, wouldn't it be amazing if more neighborhoods 192 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 3: did that sort of thing where we invite all of 193 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 3: your neighbors over and just open up your house and say, hey, guys, 194 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 3: let's have breakfast. What astounded me as well is how 195 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 3: well known our eight year old is. Yeah, across the 196 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 3: entire neighborhood. Everybody knows this kid. They've seen her riding 197 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 3: up and down the street, and almost every single one 198 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 3: of them said, can you just get to wear a 199 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 3: helmet when she's riding? 200 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: Can you? Like? Every day? Essentially every single day? But 201 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: an absolute delight, so much, so much fun. 202 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 3: Kylie before we wrap this up, because there's take our 203 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 3: messages all over this. 204 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: First of all, get your holidays right. 205 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 3: Secondly, put on a party even if your kids aren't 206 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 3: having a birthday. And third, bring the nahbood together because 207 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 3: when you create that village, it feels like you belong. 208 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,160 Speaker 3: It feels so good well. 209 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: And you don't know who in your street needs to 210 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 2: feel like they belong either. Yeah, it's as much about 211 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 2: you as it is about them. You know, we've got 212 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 2: a street full of you know, elderly people, retirees, we've 213 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 2: got some singles staying on their own, and for them 214 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,959 Speaker 2: to be included was it was just it was so 215 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 2: nice to kind of watch it all happened, and it 216 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: really took very little effort on our part. We opened 217 00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 2: up our backyard. 218 00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: And cooked some bacon and bacon and eggs. 219 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, but just you know, the reality is we could 220 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 2: have opened up our backyard, but unless everyone showed up, 221 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 2: it would. 222 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 5: Have been a non event. 223 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we've got the best street in our suburbs. 224 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 5: I think we do too. 225 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,719 Speaker 1: So there's one more thing. 226 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 3: That I want to bring up, and I know we 227 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,120 Speaker 3: need to wrap up the I'll do better Tomorrow episode. 228 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 3: But something happened at the end of the holidays, in fact, 229 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 3: day one of school that involved both of us and 230 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 3: one of our kids who's involved in school refusal. And 231 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 3: I reckon for any parent who's listened to this episode, 232 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,079 Speaker 3: there's some pretty solid take home messages in what occurred. 233 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 3: You know what I'm talking about, because I've told enough. 234 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: The story already. But do you feel like because. 235 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 3: It implicates both of us, and we want to preserve 236 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 3: our daughter's anonymity and keep her safe. But I just 237 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 3: feel like there's some stuff here that parents should be 238 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 3: aware of when it comes to and I'll do better 239 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,800 Speaker 3: tomorrow kind of episode and scenario. 240 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,959 Speaker 2: It's really easy when you're looking at Facebook or Instagram 241 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 2: to kind of look at people's lives and at times 242 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,920 Speaker 2: listen to altogether, well, I'll do better tomorrow, and you know, 243 00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 2: hear the stories where we've nailed at and think we've 244 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 2: got it together, but the reality is we din't. 245 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 5: We're just like every other family. And day one, Term. 246 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,360 Speaker 2: Four was hard, if I can just preface it. The 247 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 2: day before public holiday for us, I spent an entire 248 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 2: day wading through our children's bedroom. We have three children 249 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 2: in one bedroom. 250 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: And it was a disaster and you didn't get it 251 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:19,280 Speaker 1: finished well. 252 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 2: And our holidays had been so fast paced, not because 253 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 2: we were doing anything, but we had so many visitors 254 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 2: that I hadn't had a chance to kind of work 255 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 2: with the kids through it, through the through the two 256 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,520 Speaker 2: week holidays. 257 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: That's the thing, isn't right. 258 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 3: So we live on the Sunshine Coast and all of 259 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 3: a sudden, all of our friends from all over the country, like. 260 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: We're coming to the coast, can we catch up. We 261 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: had so many lunches and breakfast and dinners with I 262 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: was so wonderful. 263 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 2: It was it was so exhausting at the same time, 264 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,439 Speaker 2: and so the things that would normally happen to keep 265 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 2: the house running didn't. So Monday, public Holiday, You're reading 266 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 2: a book and I'm in the bedroom wading through just 267 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,839 Speaker 2: stuff birthday parties and gifts and clothes, and it was 268 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 2: a really non fulfilling way to spend my public holiday. 269 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 3: I've just got to say, I read that book a 270 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 3: little bit. I also did a whole lot of tiding. 271 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 3: Yes you did, I you. 272 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 2: Did, and you can't help me in that space, and 273 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,199 Speaker 2: that's fine. I'm not all right putting you down. Took 274 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 2: the kids out for bike ride, I did stuff. But 275 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 2: as a result, come Tuesday, I was really ready for 276 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 2: the kids to just go off to give me my space. 277 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 2: And everything was going well. I went down to my rock, 278 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 2: I meditated. I had this really calm, beautiful start to 279 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:31,719 Speaker 2: my day. And I got home with a message from 280 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 2: one of our children to say, hey, Mom, I'm going 281 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,680 Speaker 2: to come back from my study this morning, and I'll 282 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 2: actually take the kids to school. 283 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 5: You don't even have to do it. 284 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, yes. 285 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 3: Meanwhile, amazing, I've been off from five o'clock every morning 286 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,240 Speaker 3: so that I can write this book. 287 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,960 Speaker 5: I've got a massage booked in. I'm ready to just 288 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:48,920 Speaker 5: have a great day. 289 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 2: Well, I walk in the door after having my beautiful 290 00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 2: morning and one of our children decides that she is 291 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,199 Speaker 2: not going to school, and not. 292 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 5: The usual suspect. 293 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 2: So I was, what are you talking about. You're going 294 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 2: to school, you know, just go get ready. And it 295 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 2: wasn't until probably ten or fifteen minutes later, when she 296 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 2: was tinkling on the piano that I realized that she 297 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,680 Speaker 2: was actually serious. She wasn't going to school. And so 298 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,559 Speaker 2: I went in and I could feel myself getting really frustrated, 299 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 2: and I actually said these words, I need a day 300 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: for me. I need you to go to school so 301 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: that I can have some space. 302 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 5: I've given up. 303 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 2: Two weeks of my life so that everybody here can 304 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,559 Speaker 2: have a great holiday, and I've loved every minute of it, 305 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 2: but right now I just need me time. It didn't work, 306 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: it didn't go anywhere. She just absolutely looked me blank 307 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 2: in the face and told me that she couldn't do 308 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 2: it today and went into her bedroom. So at that 309 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 2: point I rang you because you were just in the 310 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 2: office around the corner, and I said, um, good help, 311 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 2: I need. 312 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 3: You to come home because you know you're not thinking 313 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,199 Speaker 3: straight in a high motion state. 314 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 5: That's exactly right, you know that way, you're on the brink. 315 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: Remember, stop and think you. 316 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 2: I have just said to me, Oh, it's so funny 317 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 2: you called me. I was just reading to see whether 318 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,200 Speaker 2: or not you needed me for anything, because I've thought 319 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 2: I might go for a c And I said, well, 320 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 2: actually you need to come home now because I actually 321 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 2: can't do this right now. And so thankfully you did 322 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 2: come home. 323 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: I can't tell you I nailed it. 324 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 5: You did nail it. 325 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,360 Speaker 1: I nailed it. So you were cranky, high motions like intelligence. 326 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: You just were really really over it and said I'm done. 327 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 3: So I stepped into the room after just composing myself 328 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 3: and thinking it through and working out where to go, 329 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 3: and I basically went through the whole explore, explain in 330 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 3: power process with this kid, and I asked what was 331 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 3: going on? She said, I hate school, I hate my subjects. 332 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 3: I've got no friends and try to see the world 333 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 3: through her eyes, putting myself into her frame of reference. 334 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 3: I felt like that when I was at high school 335 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 3: as well. 336 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 5: It was and so did I. The difference was school 337 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:51,319 Speaker 5: wasn't an option. I just had to. 338 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:52,600 Speaker 3: Go, And it was the same for me. I had 339 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 3: to go, except when I nicked off and went surfing 340 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,320 Speaker 3: and no one knew. But essentially we got a lot, 341 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 3: did it somewhat. But this poor kid, she's in tears. 342 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 3: She doesn't want to be there. 343 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: It's really really hard. 344 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 3: And after I've listened a whole lot, I said, well, 345 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 3: we've got a bit of a challenge, haven't we. And 346 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 3: she said ah, And I said what's the challenge? She said, 347 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 3: I've got to go to school. I said, yeah, you do. 348 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,199 Speaker 1: Like you do. 349 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 3: We're not going to homeschool you. We're not going to 350 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 3: change your school. We've been through this too many times 351 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 3: and we need to just get you to school. So 352 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 3: let's talk some more, let me understand some more. We've 353 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 3: got to find a solution, and neither of us has 354 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 3: one right now, so talk to me some more about it. 355 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,440 Speaker 3: So she talked through a whole lot of stuff, and 356 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,240 Speaker 3: after about five or ten minutes of listening, I said, 357 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 3: I don't know what to do. I'm going to go 358 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:36,440 Speaker 3: for a walk. I'll come back soon and we'll see 359 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 3: if we can come up with a solution then. So 360 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 3: not trying to fix it right now was critically important. 361 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,480 Speaker 3: So I went for a short walk. I gave you 362 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 3: a hug. You didn't want to talk to me. You 363 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 3: were mad at me because I was talking to her nicely, 364 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 3: and you were cranky with her because you wanted to 365 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 3: have your day on your own. But when I stepped 366 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 3: back into the room a few minutes later, I said, 367 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 3: I got this idea, which days are the hardest, because 368 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 3: I've noticed over the last few months that there's a pattern. 369 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 3: She's really happy to go to school some days and 370 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 3: hates going to school other days. She said, I hate Tuesdays, 371 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 3: I hate Fridays. 372 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: And I said, okay, tell me more about that. 373 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 3: So she stepped me through it, and by the end 374 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 3: of that conversation, as I listened really carefully, I said 375 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 3: to her, Okay, so I've got to check with Mum first. 376 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 1: But I've got an idea. 377 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,880 Speaker 3: What if you don't go to school Fridays anymore? What 378 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 3: if we give you Fridays off because you hate Fridays. 379 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 3: You reckon you can push through the other four days. 380 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 3: And she looked at me like I was crazy and said. 381 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon, I can. 382 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 3: And I said, well, I think you still need to 383 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 3: go for the first class or two because there's stuff 384 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 3: that you do need to do. But we could bring 385 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 3: you home early on a Friday, and we can do 386 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 3: it on the condition that you're not going to come 387 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 3: home and stare at your screen and do stuff all 388 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,840 Speaker 3: you You're going to go for a bike ride, or 389 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 3: you're going to do some exercise. You're going to do 390 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:43,600 Speaker 3: some reading of some material that's going to be helpful 391 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 3: in your life, some of my good psychology books. You're 392 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 3: going to do some study for exams or get projects done, 393 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 3: like you're going to use the time productively. But you're 394 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 3: going to be home in your own space, enjoying the 395 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 3: choirt rather than being at school or a place you 396 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 3: hate it on a day that you don't want to 397 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 3: be there. How does it sound? And she looked at 398 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,000 Speaker 3: me like could I really do that? Like would you 399 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:01,560 Speaker 3: really let me? 400 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,640 Speaker 1: I said, yeah, let's give it a try. We'll give 401 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: it three or four weeks. We're not going to do 402 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: it for the next how many years. 403 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 3: We're just going to do it for term four. We 404 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:10,760 Speaker 3: might just do it for a few weeks, but let's 405 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,920 Speaker 3: just see what happens. And there was an instant shift. 406 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: All of a sudden, she was like, the weight's being lifted. 407 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 3: I've been heard, I've been seen, I've been valued. I 408 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,360 Speaker 3: still have to go to school. 409 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: I get it. But there is a way. 410 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,640 Speaker 3: Through this, and it's thought, a little bit of creativity, 411 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,560 Speaker 3: a little bit of compassion, a little bit of listening. 412 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 1: Nailed it. Nailed it. 413 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,880 Speaker 3: And every day this week, other than today because it's Friday, 414 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,680 Speaker 3: she's gone off to school without the slightest hint of hesitation, 415 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,360 Speaker 3: and she's so excited that she gets to have some 416 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,840 Speaker 3: quiet time today and focus on stuff that's important to 417 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 3: her that's still constructive and productive. I reckon the take 418 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 3: home message in that is just the power of seeing 419 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 3: the world throughout the kid's frame of reference and being 420 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 3: creative in finding solutions, recognizing that the structures that are 421 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 3: in place aren't the structures that have to be there, 422 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,520 Speaker 3: and we can create our own. 423 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,360 Speaker 2: I'm grateful that when either one of us is having 424 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 2: a bad day, generally speaking the other is able to 425 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 2: pick up the pieces, and you surely picked up the 426 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 2: pieces that day. 427 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 1: Well, we hope that this has been a helpful. I'll 428 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: be about it tomorrow. 429 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,199 Speaker 3: We've covered some ground today, but hopefully there's been a 430 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 3: whole lot of ideas there for building community, getting your 431 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 3: holidays right, listening to your kids, making cakes, celebrating life. 432 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,320 Speaker 1: There's so much in there. 433 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Rolan from 434 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 3: Bridge Media and Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Just 435 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 3: before we go free webinar, free webinar if you're feeling 436 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 3: burnt out, free webinar nex Wednesday night, the twelfth of October. 437 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 3: It's God burnt out for any parent who's feeling burnt out. 438 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: If that's you, please join us free webinar. 439 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,960 Speaker 3: That I mentioned, it's free quietly free webinar, free free 440 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 3: webinar on the twelfth, that's next Wednesday night. 441 00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: All the details at Happy families dot com dot au. 442 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 1: Have a great weekend.