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Speaker 1: That practice sleeping baby, like, did you have to give

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Speaker 1: the hardest clap of your entire life?

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Speaker 2: I went pretty soft.

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Speaker 3: I thought, well, just wait now, so this is going

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Speaker 3: to be a disaster.

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Speaker 1: Well done, well done, We're currently trying to record a

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Speaker 1: podcast with a sleeping baby. Was like, let me just

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Speaker 1: give the go ahead with this giant drum set that

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Speaker 1: I've got here.

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Speaker 4: You did good. It was an impressive clasp. Papy just

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Speaker 4: wanted to wake up and see what.

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Speaker 2: Was going on.

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Speaker 5: I didn't know this was going to I didn't know

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Speaker 5: I was going to walk in to be ganged up

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Speaker 5: on here, all right.

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Speaker 3: I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know you're going to try and wake up

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Speaker 1: my sleeping newborn.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, it's been a long time since I've had a

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Speaker 2: newborn in my house. I'm not really used to it.

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Speaker 3: You can take her anytime, No, I'm cool.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to dating dads had one doting mum. I

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Speaker 1: am Maddie, Jay, I'm ash, I'm Laura.

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Speaker 3: And I'm poppy. That is actually how she speaks. She's

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Speaker 3: a child prodigy. Oh she's a genius. Yeah, speaking already

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Speaker 3: seven weeks old.

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Speaker 1: Laura, you're messing up the introduction.

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Speaker 3: Oh so sorry. Sorry.

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Speaker 1: This is a podcast all about parenting.

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Speaker 2: It is the good, it is the bad and the relatable.

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Speaker 1: If you come for advice, Laura, what do you do?

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Speaker 3: You don't stay here, you go away.

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Speaker 1: She's very good, very good.

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Speaker 3: You go listen to Hamish's Dad podcast.

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Speaker 2: You shut your mouth.

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Speaker 1: We'll edit that part.

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Speaker 2: The first thing we edited out. I think we might

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Speaker 2: have to start again.

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Speaker 1: Look, we a little bit a little bit late. Apologies, Laura.

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Speaker 1: You were already half an hour ago.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how bad.

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Speaker 3: That's okay.

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Speaker 4: It does seem like things are a little bit disorganized.

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Speaker 4: I think I'm just a ring in. I don't actually think.

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Speaker 4: I don't actually think it's the plan.

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Speaker 2: I think that no offended.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean I was only asked about an hour ago,

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Speaker 3: so I'm guessing. I guessing it wasn't planning.

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Speaker 1: We have been planning this since the birth of Poppy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this has been a long I'll tell you right now.

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Speaker 2: The background work on this episode.

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Speaker 4: Someone called, actually, I understand you do want to put

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Speaker 4: too much pressure on me. When I was in my

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Speaker 4: postpartum phase, you know, and now that I'm feeling better,

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Speaker 4: you were like, Okay, today's the day.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that. Ye, let's go that one. Yeah, yeah, Laura.

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Speaker 1: It's great to have you back on the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Is guys have missed you. Thank you for having me.

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Speaker 4: The last time we recorded together was when I was

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Speaker 4: still pregnant, and I did listen to that back and

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Speaker 4: it was just about twenty minutes of chaos topic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: We love that.

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Speaker 1: Ash had a couple of drinks before we recorded. Right now,

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Speaker 1: people like the chaos.

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Speaker 2: People do like cat because that's what it's that's what

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Speaker 2: it's like.

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Speaker 5: And now that you got three, I suppose it's chaotic

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Speaker 5: all the time.

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Speaker 3: Well, welcome back.

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Speaker 4: We actually currently have so I've got puppy strap to me.

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Speaker 4: Lola is upstairs watching an iPad. She has gastro. Nana's

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Speaker 4: got her in the room. We've tied Nana in the

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Speaker 4: room with the child with the gastro because they're both

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Speaker 4: been per.

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Speaker 1: Must has also started vomiting for some weird outside this morning,

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Speaker 1: bust to vomited under the table and he just goes,

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Speaker 1: you let me walk in this sickly household. My goodness.

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Speaker 5: I came in and the dogs outside looking real sad

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Speaker 5: looking at me, going you'll let me in.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know why you're out there, bro,

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Speaker 2: but I'm not getting involved.

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Speaker 4: The last thing I think I can handle at this

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Speaker 4: point in my life is the dog shitting on the carpet.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, you can bust. We love you,

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Speaker 4: but you're outside. I can't put the kids outside when

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Speaker 4: they have gastro But you are, buddy.

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Speaker 1: Sorry ash to bring you into this hell a German

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Speaker 1: fested home. Laura, I need to ask you something straight

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Speaker 1: off the bat, because you mentioned something on Life on

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Speaker 1: Cut recently where you said after you had a third child,

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Speaker 1: you felt like it would be a sense of completion.

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Speaker 1: You're done.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I didn't have that. Sorry yeah, no, No,

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Speaker 4: has that changed now? How didn't we get that feeling?

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Speaker 5: I'm confused here with this question, this line of question.

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Speaker 3: We're not having any more.

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Speaker 2: God, you're cool.

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Speaker 3: I'm too old. Actually that's not true.

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Speaker 4: I shouldn't say i'm too old. I'm not forty yet.

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Speaker 4: I'm not too old. Lots of people have kids in

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Speaker 4: their forties. I feel too old in my body now

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Speaker 4: that I'm already parenting three children, that's what. And I

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Speaker 4: feel as though my body hasn't recovered as well this time.

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Speaker 4: So that's why when I say too old, I mean

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Speaker 4: in terms of myself, not in terms of an actual

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Speaker 4: age could cover. It's true though, because if I if

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Speaker 4: I'd started later, I would will still want three kids.

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Speaker 3: But now that I have three kids, I'm like, the

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Speaker 3: thought are doing four? It's like fuck.

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Speaker 1: It reminds me of when like a famous rugby player

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Speaker 1: retires and they're like, I want to keep playing, but

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Speaker 1: the body went around.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly what it is. It's exactly retire from giving

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Speaker 2: birth children.

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Speaker 1: The knees can't take them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, my knees.

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Speaker 4: They're never going to be the same. I walk down

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Speaker 4: the stairs now and they hurt. But that's also because

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Speaker 4: they still haven't strapped me. I'm like constantly lugging around

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Speaker 4: an additional six kilos of a child because she lives

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Speaker 4: strapped to my body.

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Speaker 2: Still, so we can say there's no other kids coming.

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Speaker 3: So okay.

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Speaker 4: After Poppy was born and I had a couple of

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Speaker 4: days in the hospital, I messaged Matt on like day two,

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Speaker 4: I think it was all day three, and I said

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Speaker 4: to him, I was like, I reckon, I could go

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Speaker 4: get Oh my.

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Speaker 2: God, right now, I can go again, right now? Bring

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Speaker 2: the epy jural in.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I think I could go again.

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Speaker 4: And Matt wrote back and said, I am booking in

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Speaker 4: that viseectomy.

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Speaker 1: So he hasn't yet though not yet.

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Speaker 3: Not yet.

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Speaker 5: Okay, well, I've got a question for you, then with

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Speaker 5: me from one vaseectimy owner to a potential other VERSEECTI me,

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Speaker 5: are you one hundred percent on this?

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Speaker 2: For sake? We call it a second.

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Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I was done after two. I

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Speaker 1: felt like I still had some fuel left in the tank.

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Speaker 1: But can I now I the thought of doing a

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Speaker 1: fourth I couldn't. I couldn't.

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Speaker 3: You would look.

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Speaker 1: I think if someone had a gun to my head

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Speaker 1: and said you've got to raise a fourth child, I

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Speaker 1: could do it.

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Speaker 3: Get off it.

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Speaker 2: Can I throw an idea there?

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Speaker 1: Hit me?

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Speaker 3: Can I wear a condom?

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Speaker 2: Don't do that?

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Speaker 5: Doesn't feel good? Can I throw an idea out there?

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Speaker 5: Can you get a sectomy? And we will document the

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Speaker 5: whole journey.

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Speaker 1: Ash has been trying to film my dick and ball

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Speaker 1: maybe so long.

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Speaker 5: Now, Well, I'm experienced in this field, you're more experienced

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Speaker 5: in the baby making field.

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Speaker 1: That is number one on my list for twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: That's my New Year's resolution. Can I come along for

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Speaker 1: the dreamy?

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Speaker 2: Of course?

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Speaker 5: Yes.

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Speaker 4: There's a part of me that okay, and maybe this

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Speaker 4: isn't anomal reaction. There's a part of me that feels

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Speaker 4: offended that that's like his number one thing that he

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Speaker 4: wants to get done. I'm like, tell me how much

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Speaker 4: you're hating this?

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Speaker 2: I think.

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Speaker 1: It has been. It's been a tricky a tricky couple

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Speaker 1: of months, a couple of weeks.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, yeah, you're aging this child.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, what part has been tricky for you?

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Speaker 1: Someone actually wrote in They did ask how are you

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Speaker 1: enjoying doing the pickup? And has Laura been tuning in?

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Speaker 4: Is that The thing that's been the trickiest is the

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Speaker 4: fact that you've been doing the radio show.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: I think it's just a combination of Nana being sick

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Speaker 1: then having the pick up every afternoon.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm flat out you look great.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't. People keep telling me and they're like,

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Speaker 1: you look tired.

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Speaker 4: That it's offended because yesterday he put up some stories

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Speaker 4: and one person of his three hundred thousand followers, ten

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Speaker 4: people were.

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Speaker 1: Like, just you know, you look fucking tired.

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Speaker 2: Oh you don't. I don't think you do.

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Speaker 3: I do.

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Speaker 4: I disagree. Look, I want to validate all your feelings.

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Speaker 4: And I know it's been very tough. I actually I

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Speaker 4: genuinely feel like this has been the easiest version of

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Speaker 4: adding a child to the mix that I could have

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Speaker 4: ever hoped for and expected.

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Speaker 3: So like maybe, but I also.

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Speaker 4: Do think that as a woman and as the mother,

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Speaker 4: you do a lot more mental preparation before the baby arrives.

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Speaker 3: So like you, well, no, you do.

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Speaker 4: I don't even think you realized that she was a

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Speaker 4: right until the week she was here, Like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm just gonna turn my mic.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is gonna war.

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Speaker 4: I did like a lot of thinking through, Okay, how

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Speaker 4: is my life going to change? Like what impact is

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Speaker 4: this going to have? How am I going to navigate

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Speaker 4: and negotiate through work? What does maternity leave look like?

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Speaker 4: Is there maternity leave for me? Like there was a lot.

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Speaker 3: Going on prior to her arriving.

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Speaker 4: And I think I had absolutely and I said this

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Speaker 4: on life on card, but I like completely had prepared

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Speaker 4: myself for the worst version of what life was going

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Speaker 4: to be, Like I thought I would be miserable. I

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Speaker 4: will accept that I'm going to be miserable for a

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Speaker 4: couple of weeks or months, I'll be so sleep deprived

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Speaker 4: I won't be able to function properly, and then it

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Speaker 4: will get good, right, because like, of course I wanted

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Speaker 4: a third but I knew that the newborn phase was

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Speaker 4: going to be really hard, and you just don't know too,

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Speaker 4: You don't know, And it has been the best version

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Speaker 4: that I could have ever hoped for for that. So

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Speaker 4: that's why I think sometimes when you say, oh, it's

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Speaker 4: been really tricky, like I almost feel defensive and offended

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Speaker 4: because I'm like, it has been the least version of tricky.

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Speaker 4: And she sleeps, she wakes up twice a night, like

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Speaker 4: she's so good that I this feels like a therapy

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Speaker 4: session more than anything.

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Speaker 2: Right now, you're right, you're on o'clock.

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Speaker 5: I think like this is the least tricky part of it, right,

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Speaker 5: the logistics around it, especially with.

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Speaker 2: Paul Nana poor thing, and she's been so sick. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then the dog shitting on the floor the other.

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Speaker 4: Day, And also there is this kind of like change

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Speaker 4: that happens at the start where like the load of

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Speaker 4: the organization for Molly and Lola falls on Matt. So

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Speaker 4: it's like that addition becomes like Matt's priority and I'm doing, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, one hundred percent of Poppy at the moment.

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Speaker 4: So it's a shift in how you manage the household

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Speaker 4: that happens at this phase.

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Speaker 5: That leads me into a question I've got for you,

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Speaker 5: which someone has for you, which is how are you

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Speaker 5: finding as new mum and having to spend so much

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Speaker 5: time with Poppy spreading your love to your other children

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Speaker 5: and Matt?

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Speaker 3: It's hard. It's hard because they're always on you, right.

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Speaker 1: Poppy, not me.

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Speaker 3: I've put Matt in the artiple, didn't carry him around,

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Speaker 3: although I did struggled like a giant baby wanted it.

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Speaker 3: It was it was straddled over me for a cuddle,

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Speaker 3: and I was like, this is it.

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Speaker 1: Nana was like, I just going on, I've just come

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Speaker 1: out of hospital and you do a straddle each other. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I wish that we were joking, but no, Nana was

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Speaker 4: just like in the kitchen, pottering around.

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Speaker 3: Could I get you got anything? Come ups? She comes out?

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Speaker 1: How do Yeah? How do you find at the moment?

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Speaker 1: Dividing Laura amongst three kids and a husband.

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Speaker 4: It is the hardest part of this period, I think

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Speaker 4: because like a normal day for me. I wake up

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Speaker 4: in the morning, I have Poppy, so like try and

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Speaker 4: quickly have a shower while she's sleeping. Matt does the girls,

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Speaker 4: get does their breakfast and everything else, and then Poppy

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Speaker 4: comes to work with me and she's.

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Speaker 3: On me all day.

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Speaker 4: And then I come home and I do the dinner

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Speaker 4: and everything with the girls. Like every evening, I sit

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Speaker 4: with them and I do their dinner, and I do

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Speaker 4: their books, and then I do their bath, and then

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Speaker 4: I read their books and I get them to bed.

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Speaker 4: So I still have the evenings which are like one

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Speaker 4: hundred percent with them, but often it's with them and

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Speaker 4: Poppy strap to me, and then I don't get a

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Speaker 4: second to myself until eight thirty nighttime, nine o'clock sometimes,

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Speaker 4: and so by the time that rolls around, the last

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Speaker 4: thing I want to do is then be like, and

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Speaker 4: then you come here, sweetheart, and let me cater to

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Speaker 4: your needs as well, because I haven't had any chance

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Speaker 4: to do anything for me in that period.

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Speaker 3: Either, So it's hard.

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Speaker 4: And we did this dance when Lola was little, you know,

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Speaker 4: because as a mum, you kind of always have the

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Speaker 4: newborn and so it's not like there's time to go

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Speaker 4: and do anything that's for yourself that's like independent of

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Speaker 4: having kids with you.

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Speaker 3: In terms of managing the time with Marley and Lola.

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Speaker 4: I think the fact that we had a big age

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Speaker 4: gap has been really helpful because they're so excited about

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Speaker 4: having Poppy. There's not the same level of jealousy that

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Speaker 4: I think there would have been. And like even Lola

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Speaker 4: we had to do this posted the other day and

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Speaker 4: she had to write down, like what was her favorite

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Speaker 4: thing in the world, Lola Bear, what's your favorite thing

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Speaker 4: in the whole world?

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Speaker 1: Hoding propy.

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Speaker 4: So she's not feeling jealous. She definitely has moments where

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Speaker 4: she wants more of me independently, but she is so

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Speaker 4: excited I thought she'd be with Poppy.

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Speaker 1: I thought she would be way more jealous than what she.

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Speaker 5: Kind of thought that too. I haven't seen her in

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Speaker 5: a while, and I saw her today and she's like

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Speaker 5: because she's a little girl now.

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Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, she's changed so much.

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Speaker 4: And also I think it's this year, particularly since Matt

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Speaker 4: went and did I'm a celebrity, This year has been

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Speaker 4: like a really big transitional year for her because she

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Speaker 4: used to be one hundred percent me and now she's

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Speaker 4: quite happy to have the both of us in equal parts.

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Speaker 4: So at nighttime, I think that that's probably the trickiest

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Speaker 4: thing is that she used to always get into our bed,

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Speaker 4: and now she can't get into our bed because if

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Speaker 4: it's Matt on one side, Lola in the middle, me,

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Speaker 4: and then Poppy, like, Poppy's gonna get turfed out of

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Speaker 4: the bed or rolled on too.

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Speaker 3: So it's just not a safe environment.

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Speaker 4: So Matt often gets up and he now goes and

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Speaker 4: sleeps in Lola's bed, and that's you know, She's like,

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Speaker 4: all right, if I have to put up with one parent,

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Speaker 4: come on and Dad, you'll you'll fucking date.

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Speaker 1: It's like someone's starving and they're only eating the rotten

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Speaker 1: fruit because there's nothing else that's all left the rotten fruit.

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Speaker 4: You're not, no, But I think it's good for your relationship,

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Speaker 4: and I think between us we manage them well, like

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Speaker 4: there's always one parent to fill the cup.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always good.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like, at this stage, with so much

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Speaker 1: attention on Poppy, do you have any guilt or anxiety

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Speaker 1: about how much time and affection you can give to

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Speaker 1: the other, to the other two.

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Speaker 4: No, No, I would if I wasn't able to do,

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Speaker 4: Like the night times are really important, like from the

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Speaker 4: time that they come home from school, like um clocked

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Speaker 4: on the girls and I'm doing everything with them. I

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Speaker 4: think if I wasn't able to do that and I

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Speaker 4: had to like be doing more things with Poppy than

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Speaker 4: I think I would feel like there was a real gap.

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Speaker 4: But I don't get from them this sense of like

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Speaker 4: really big emotions and they're missing out on anything at

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Speaker 4: the moment. Like, I think that we've got a relatively

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Speaker 4: good balance, considering that we have a seven week old baby. Like,

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Speaker 4: no one's doing it perfect at this point. It's an impossibility,

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Speaker 4: but I think this is our third rodeo now, and

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Speaker 4: so we're doing it as well as what we could

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Speaker 4: possibly do. It is kind of how I'm It's kind

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Speaker 4: of like how I'm approaching this.

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Speaker 2: It also would help that thankfully she's a sleeper, right.

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Speaker 3: She sleeps all the time. She's asleep now.

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Speaker 5: She makes a big difference because then you can, like

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Speaker 5: if you're continuously if you don't have a sleeper, you

350
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Speaker 5: get an angry baby or something's happening. You've got to

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Speaker 5: spend way more time with them.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to get them to sleep, so that.

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Speaker 5: You might miss and you might be way more tired

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Speaker 5: than you probably are right now.

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Speaker 4: And be way more not even as tired, but like

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Speaker 4: so much more anxious. I think one of the big

357
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Speaker 4: things I keep saying this to everyone about having number

358
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Speaker 4: three is like it is all the love and no anxiety.

359
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Speaker 4: Like she's making noise at nighttime and waking us up,

360
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Speaker 4: and I'm not, like, what's that noise?

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Speaker 3: Is she dying? Is she breathing? Has she vomited?

362
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,040
Speaker 4: Like I know exactly what the noises are now, so

363
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Speaker 4: I can I know when I can sleep through it,

364
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Speaker 4: I know when I have to do something about it.

365
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Speaker 3: I know when I can just shove a dummy in.

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Speaker 4: I just don't feel stressed out by her, and I

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Speaker 4: think that that has been the most healing version of

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Speaker 4: adding another kid to the mix, because with Lola, I

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Speaker 4: felt so stressed all the time, and I felt so anxious,

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Speaker 4: and that just bled into everything. And I had way

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Speaker 4: more guilt when Lola came along, because I felt like

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Speaker 4: I had to be one hundred percent on Lola and

373
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Speaker 4: Matt was one hundred percent on Malei, and it created

374
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Speaker 4: this separation and that hasn't happened this time at all.

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Speaker 3: I don't think.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I remember, like even now, like the cry of

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Speaker 5: a baby makes me so anxious.

378
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Speaker 2: Right, you mentioned like the little noises.

379
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Speaker 5: I just remember like just being awake all the time

380
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Speaker 5: because of just the little noises.

381
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Speaker 2: I was worried about that.

382
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Speaker 4: Like it's so it's so different this time back we

383
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Speaker 4: have and I hate to say it for anyone who's

384
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Speaker 4: in the trenches with a newborn, but like she is

385
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Speaker 4: a unicorn child, like she does not.

386
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Speaker 3: We know she's a unicorn child because we've had the

387
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Speaker 3: exact opposite of that.

388
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Speaker 4: So like you know, for the first five weeks, I

389
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Speaker 4: could just put her in her little rap, pop her

390
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Speaker 4: in her cot, and.

391
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Speaker 3: She put herself to sleep. Now I can't.

392
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Speaker 4: I have to like put her in a little rap,

393
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Speaker 4: give her a feed, rock her for a couple of minutes,

394
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Speaker 4: and then I put it like it's crazy.

395
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Speaker 3: It's actually crazy.

396
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Speaker 4: It will make some people feel furious, Oh yeah, because

397
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Speaker 4: I don't. Yeah, And I know that had I been

398
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Speaker 4: in the place where I was with Lola and someone

399
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 4: said I just wrap her in a little muslin wrap

400
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,960
Speaker 4: and put her in the cot, would have been like,

401
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,520
Speaker 4: I just want to punch in the phone. I'm very

402
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,840
Speaker 4: conscious of how obnoxious it sounds.

403
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,720
Speaker 1: If we were breeding like dogs right now, you would get.

404
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:06,840
Speaker 3: Well, not with the respector becoming.

405
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,240
Speaker 1: You would get the temperament of Poppy, and you would

406
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 1: use that as the base model. Yeah.

407
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, like she is the reason why people would want

408
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 4: to have a fourth and then you would not have

409
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:15,600
Speaker 4: this again and you would be like, that was a

410
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,560
Speaker 4: terrible This.

411
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Speaker 1: Is nature fucking with us right now.

412
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,040
Speaker 5: Both of mine were like, I mean, Mason was much better,

413
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,720
Speaker 5: but I still remember like having to rock her for

414
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,400
Speaker 5: so long, and maybe I was.

415
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Speaker 2: Doing it wrong. I don't know, but like I recall

416
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,280
Speaker 2: like I had I had.

417
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Speaker 5: COVID, that's right, and I had Masi's six weeks old,

418
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,680
Speaker 5: and I was like on my deathbed with COVID and.

419
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,360
Speaker 3: You and there's no reprieve, Like there's no you have

420
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 3: to do it right.

421
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Speaker 2: I was like this, and I remember my eyeballs being

422
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Speaker 2: so hot.

423
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Speaker 5: Because my fever was through the roof, and I was like,

424
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 5: looking at April, we're isolated.

425
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,600
Speaker 2: We're isolated with a two year old at the time.

426
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Speaker 5: It was absolute just gives me the shivers every time

427
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Speaker 5: I think about.

428
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Speaker 3: You know, you're having a hard time when you've got

429
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,280
Speaker 3: hot eyeballs.

430
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,000
Speaker 2: It was like I had I had two of.

431
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,560
Speaker 5: The sun attached to the front of my face and

432
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Speaker 5: I was like rocking doing squats.

433
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, but man, like having a newborn is hard, like

434
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 4: is it is hard. Adding a new kid to any

435
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,280
Speaker 4: equation is going to be hard, and it's going to

436
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,880
Speaker 4: have like, it's going to have its challenging moments.

437
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:26,240
Speaker 1: I do feel, though, I don't know if it's you

438
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:29,280
Speaker 1: have to kind of make more of a focus when

439
00:17:29,320 --> 00:17:31,920
Speaker 1: you do have that free time and giving the quality

440
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,359
Speaker 1: time to the other two. But I do feel a

441
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 1: sense of being stretched, like on the weekends when I'm thinking, oh,

442
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,879
Speaker 1: I've got to grab Poppy off you just so you

443
00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 1: get a bit of a break, and then Marley and

444
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Speaker 1: Lola would normally have time to go down the park,

445
00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,080
Speaker 1: or that time is taken away. So I think it

446
00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,399
Speaker 1: does take a bit of an adjustment trying to settle

447
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 1: in with how you divide your time amongst all three.

448
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course, but I also think in terms of

449
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 4: that there's always going to be an adjustment. And like

450
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,400
Speaker 4: with the whole guilt concept, like I refuse to feel guilty.

451
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 4: We are doing the best job that we can do.

452
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,399
Speaker 4: The kids are so well looked after, they are happy,

453
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 4: they are you know, one of them upstairs watching.

454
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:12,679
Speaker 1: No.

455
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,439
Speaker 4: They are so cared for and loved, and they are

456
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,720
Speaker 4: in a house with then nan and two parents who

457
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,199
Speaker 4: always make time for them and prioritize them, and so

458
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,119
Speaker 4: I kind of I guess maybe with this time around,

459
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,919
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm not going to feel guilty about this,

460
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 4: Like it is what it is. We're doing the best

461
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 4: that we can possibly do. If I thought we weren't

462
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:31,719
Speaker 4: doing the best that we could do and actually we

463
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,960
Speaker 4: were being shitty, then yeah, of course feel guilty. But

464
00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:36,600
Speaker 4: I really wanted to enjoy this because I know this

465
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:37,919
Speaker 4: is the last time we're going to do it, and

466
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 4: so I don't want to spend this entire period feeling

467
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 4: stressed out that I'm actually going to end up with

468
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,120
Speaker 4: a child in therapy one day, Because I mean, potentially

469
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 4: they're going to end up in therapy anyway.

470
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 2: They should get.

471
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,520
Speaker 3: It, you know, it's character building. I know.

472
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 5: I've got a question actually that just sprang to mind.

473
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 5: Do you think it's beneficial if going for a third

474
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,280
Speaker 5: for example, you've you're already pregnant. Let's just say, you're

475
00:18:58,280 --> 00:18:59,080
Speaker 5: already pregnant with.

476
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 2: Your thirds matt will dropped out. Do you think it's worth.

477
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,639
Speaker 5: Setting for the girls that you already have, setting the

478
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,720
Speaker 5: expectation of what's going to happen in terms of we

479
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,800
Speaker 5: might not have as much park time or we might

480
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,000
Speaker 5: not have Do you think it's worth setting that expectation

481
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 5: or just seeing how it goes and then having to

482
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,560
Speaker 5: deal with, Oh, they can't go to the park now

483
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 5: because Poppies might be a bit sick or something and

484
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:20,680
Speaker 5: someone's been pulled away.

485
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,840
Speaker 4: I don't think we did that. I don't think we

486
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 4: really prepared them. I mean, we have the book You're

487
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,520
Speaker 4: going to Be a Big Sister book, and we read

488
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 4: that to lot, especially Lola because Marley understand she's been

489
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 4: through it once before.

490
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 3: But we kind of more were focused.

491
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 4: On, like, there's going to be a baby in the house,

492
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,399
Speaker 4: and babies cry, alon babies need lots of attention. But

493
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 4: I don't think we were very specific around that means

494
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,480
Speaker 4: that you're not going to get there. And also I

495
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 4: don't think you want to scare a kid about what's coming,

496
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 4: because I think if you can lean into the fact

497
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:52,760
Speaker 4: that you're including them, they're excited about a baby coming.

498
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 4: It's not going to be at the deficit of my

499
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 4: relationship with you, but like it's going to add to

500
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 4: this relationship we're going to have together.

501
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,280
Speaker 3: I think that that was the mentality I had about it.

502
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 4: And also like including the kids, not to parentify them,

503
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 4: and I'm really careful about how I say this, but

504
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,880
Speaker 4: like they're old enough that they want to be involved.

505
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,960
Speaker 4: So get nappies, they get they get wipes, like they

506
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 4: you know, I'm like, do you want to change her nappy?

507
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 4: And they're like, oh, that's disgusting, but like I'm asking it.

508
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 4: I think it's really being really conscious as well. Like

509
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 4: there are definitely days where I'm super tired and I

510
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,280
Speaker 4: would love to stay in bed in the morning, and

511
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:24,040
Speaker 4: Lola comes.

512
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 3: In and I'm like, it's okay, sweetie, get in the bed.

513
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 4: Like I could easily say like no, mommy needs to

514
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 4: go back to sleep, but I'm really conscious that like

515
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,040
Speaker 4: that's an important thing for her, and so I'll make

516
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,160
Speaker 4: that sacrifice of my sleep in.

517
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,080
Speaker 3: Order for her to know that she's always welcome in

518
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:38,440
Speaker 3: out bed.

519
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,639
Speaker 5: It could make the big difference how the rest of

520
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 5: her day pans out.

521
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 4: Hundred It also makes a massive difference to her relationship

522
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,520
Speaker 4: with Poppy and I want them. I was really jealous

523
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 4: of my brother when he was born, so there's an

524
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 4: eight year age difference between me and my brother and

525
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 4: different dads, and it wasn't an easy household at the time.

526
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 4: And I was so deeply jealous of my brother for

527
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 4: most of my childhood and it affected my relationship with

528
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 4: him hugely, and I would be really mean to him,

529
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:09,119
Speaker 4: and I just didn't have the capacity or the understanding

530
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 4: that the reason that I was the way I was

531
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:13,720
Speaker 4: was because actually I was jealous and I wasn't getting

532
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,040
Speaker 4: what I needed from my mum at the time because

533
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 4: she was single mum, three kids, Like it was really hard.

534
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 4: She did her best, but I got a lot from

535
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 4: my grandparents, but I was spending so much time with them,

536
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,399
Speaker 4: and my mom wasn't able to split her time amongst

537
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 4: the three of us evenly, and that manifested in me

538
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 4: really really like not wanting to be around my brother,

539
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:33,000
Speaker 4: which I now look back on, I'm like, that's such

540
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 4: a sad thing, and I hate that that happened. And

541
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 4: so I think, if anything, I'm hyper conscious about the

542
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 4: relationship that the girls are going to have with each other.

543
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 5: Sure, yeah, you just see, like every family has their

544
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 5: own dynamic, right, and like as you grow older, I

545
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 5: remember my friends that I had with siblings and like

546
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 5: a really young sibling, and it was like, how do

547
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 5: you not let it get to the point where it's

548
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 5: sort of like the three of them are at each

549
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 5: other or all of a sudden they're against each other

550
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 5: for attention.

551
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 2: It's like such a fine line.

552
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 5: To walk where it's I've got to be here, but

553
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 5: then I also want to be there for you. And

554
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 5: it's not the baby's fault necessarily that I'm spending more

555
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:10,439
Speaker 5: time here.

556
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: It's just something I have to do.

557
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 4: Have you noticed this is a question for Matt, Like

558
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 4: Mally and Lawla have started fighting a little bit more

559
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 4: than what they normally do.

560
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 3: Really, yeah, they're not there.

561
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 4: They don't break that down. Male and Lola don't normally fight.

562
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 4: They're actually they really love each other, like they and

563
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 4: they they are kind of like that sweet relationship where

564
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 4: they're like, you're my best friend before they go to bed,

565
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 4: which is just the cutest thing ever. But in the

566
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,680
Speaker 4: last and I think it's just been like a frustrating

567
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 4: weekend that they've had.

568
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 3: But over the weekend, Malia like.

569
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,520
Speaker 4: She like threw a few like soccer punches at Lola

570
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 4: when she was like angry about something she just wasn't

571
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,440
Speaker 4: able to regulate and smacked a sister, which is really

572
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,680
Speaker 4: unlike her. So I think that they're the moments where

573
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,560
Speaker 4: you start to see, oh, okay, one kid's not getting enough,

574
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,040
Speaker 4: like we're not intervening enough, we're not giving her enough

575
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 4: attention that makes her feel like she is being understood.

576
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 4: So therefore she's lashing out because no one's fixing the

577
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 4: problem for her or helping her fix it.

578
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,879
Speaker 2: Giving her the tools to fix it totally.

579
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 5: Because you're right, they're still they're still not one hundred

580
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 5: percent regulating and they're.

581
00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,920
Speaker 3: Always going to fight at some point, like the kids.

582
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,360
Speaker 1: You know, I think it's peaks and trops. I think

583
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: depending on like sports always a big one, depending on,

584
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 1: you know, when there's certain events on, kids will get

585
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 1: more attention. I think at the moment, Poppy obviously as

586
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 1: a newborn who was getting majority of the attention as

587
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:24,359
Speaker 1: she should. I think Marley, given that she's had this

588
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,800
Speaker 1: end of year dance recital, she's now got these auditions

589
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: for a new dance group. So she's had so much

590
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 1: attention because she's rehearsal.

591
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:33,120
Speaker 4: West Stage parents now dads. That's actually a stage mom,

592
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 4: thank you stage. Yeah, and she's.

593
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 1: Malay's also had those projects as well that she's had

594
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:39,959
Speaker 1: to get done. So she's getting a lot of attention,

595
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 1: and I feel like I'm very aware that Lola hasn't

596
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 1: had something that we've had to really focus on. Obviously,

597
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,480
Speaker 1: school starting and those orientation days have been great that

598
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: she's had that attention, but I'm like, oh, we've got

599
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: to give it to Lola as well to try and

600
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 1: make it more.

601
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 2: Even wait till there's a birthday. Yes, the good thing

602
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,000
Speaker 2: is the first birthday's.

603
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 4: Low Lola's And also like her year next year is

604
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 4: such a big year, like she starts school next year,

605
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,640
Speaker 4: so like there are big things that are coming. But

606
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 4: it's always like you think about the middle child. It's

607
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 4: so hard being a middle charlt. I say this because

608
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 4: I was a middle child, But it's really hard because you

609
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 4: always have a big sibling who is usually better at everything.

610
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 4: You know, like they're better at sport because they're bigger.

611
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,359
Speaker 4: They're better at at dancing or singing or spelling or

612
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,640
Speaker 4: whatever it is, because they've.

613
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 3: Just done it first.

614
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 4: They've done every experience first, and then you always have

615
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 4: like the little one who needs more because they're little.

616
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 4: So there is this like weird gap of being it's

617
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 4: very resilient building, Like I think that there's lots of

618
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,400
Speaker 4: benefits that come from being the middle child, but it's

619
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 4: also really humbling when you're small and you're like, I'm

620
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 4: not looking good at anything. I think you have to

621
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 4: kind of get and maybe this was something that was

622
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 4: good for me when I was a kid. My sister

623
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 4: and I got into really different sports because she was

624
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 4: just great at everything she did, and so she like

625
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 4: ended up competing to be in the Olympics for gymnastics,

626
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 4: Like how the fuck do you.

627
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 3: Like level up to that?

628
00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 2: Right?

629
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 4: And she was like so compliant at school, and compliance

630
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 4: is kind of like what's prioritized in school. If you're

631
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,280
Speaker 4: a compliant kid, the teachers love you. I was not compliant.

632
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,200
Speaker 4: I was talked a lot and asked a lot of

633
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 4: questions and was kind of annoying. I think, and probably

634
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 4: and probably have undiagnosed ADHD. So my teachers hated me.

635
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,320
Speaker 4: So I got into swimming, and it was like that

636
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 4: was something that I got to be good at that

637
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 4: she wasn't and that she didn't do, and so it

638
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 4: gave me a sense of at least I had something

639
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 4: that was like, that's my thing and.

640
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 1: That's what needs So pick something that the parents like

641
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: to go to karate.

642
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,639
Speaker 3: We're gonna get lower into karate.

643
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: Like the pub. She's really good at coming to the

644
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 2: pub with me. Your oldest sister can't do that.

645
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,560
Speaker 3: Poppy loves Margarita. She's having a great time.

646
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: She does like going out for dinner.

647
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's gonna Should we just go out for dinner.

648
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,120
Speaker 2: She's like, you're cooking, let's get out of here every morning?

649
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 4: Should we grabu at breakfast today? Like she's such a

650
00:25:53,359 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 4: social kid. But yes, karate all enroll ola happen.

651
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 1: Sure the kimonos are too expensive.

652
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 3: We've got three We've got three pounds to feed.

653
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: Maybe you just don't have seafood Marinara a week.

654
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 1: Ash reckons if Marinata is a rich people's dish?

655
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 3: Are we having it twice a week?

656
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: When Laura's like, you can't go anyway, He's like, what's

657
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 2: just sorry?

658
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 1: Land animals not.

659
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 2: Good enough for you.

660
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 3: I like things from the sea they.

661
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:30,640
Speaker 2: See all the air, see your air. Thank you?

662
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:34,440
Speaker 4: Do you have has such like beautiful blinky eyes. You

663
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 4: don't eat those. It's all right to eat a prawn.

664
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:37,879
Speaker 2: They're delicious.

665
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 3: And every vegan listener.

666
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 1: A lot of parents with three kids have all said

667
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 1: a similar thing in that it.

668
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 3: Was an accident. Yeah, yeah, not a mistake, accident.

669
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 2: This family viewed that would be the second.

670
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: Talking about the hardest transition from zero to one, one

671
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: to two, two three, they say that the one tooos

672
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,679
Speaker 1: is a tricky one and that two to three is

673
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 1: not the hardest. What do you feel about that?

674
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 4: One to two was one hundred percent my hardest. Yeah,

675
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 4: I mean you were also on Dancing with the Start,

676
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 4: so you were never home, so any chance I have

677
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 4: to bring that up, but really, unbelievable, No, that was

678
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 4: really the hardest.

679
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 1: It was a great season though, it was.

680
00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 3: You were really good.

681
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 4: I'm gonna wrestle, but hopefully Nana can come downstairs and

682
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 4: watch one to two. I actually think that that question

683
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 4: does not depend on the amount of kids that you're adding.

684
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 4: And I say this now because of the experience of

685
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 4: having three very different children. I think it depends on

686
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 4: the temperament of the child and your anxious capacity, you know,

687
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 4: like how much it.

688
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:41,560
Speaker 3: Stresses you out.

689
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 4: Molly was like we always were like Molly's a unicorn.

690
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 4: But now that I look back, I'm like, yeah she was.

691
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 4: She was a really good baby, but she wasn't a

692
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 4: unicorn baby.

693
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,360
Speaker 3: Like we still had to do.

694
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 4: The rocking every night, like she was nine months old

695
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 4: and we were still standing by her cot rocking for

696
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 4: half an hour to get her to sleep and then

697
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 4: doing that awkward transition. But she wasn't a big crime,

698
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:01,359
Speaker 4: so it was kind of easy.

699
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,120
Speaker 5: And they want to get your arm out, just the slide,

700
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 5: like look at the Bengals and Laura, I'm take my jewelry.

701
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 3: Off, like smacking the head.

702
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: And then for for us like obviously like having a

703
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 4: tricky temperament because Lola had colic.

704
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 3: Sorry I did just banger in the head. Then that

705
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 3: was not intended.

706
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: She just looks seems fine to me kissing me Laura

707
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 2: like that.

708
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 1: Do I have to say that was Laura was kissing

709
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: the baby.

710
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 4: Just sorry I was kissing Poppy because she's let them

711
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 4: think what they wanted.

712
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 3: What was it saying?

713
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I think for me one to two absolutely,

714
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 4: and for the exact reasons that we've talked about, and

715
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 4: that was that it was really tricky with Lalla as

716
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 4: a baby.

717
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think like there was a stage there I

718
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,479
Speaker 5: didn't want a second because of all the number one Yeah,

719
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,320
Speaker 5: all the anxiety and the frustration and everything that came

720
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 5: off the back of the first one. So I guess

721
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 5: like it is going to depend on who you ask, Right,

722
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 5: you can have someone to have five kids, and it's like,

723
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 5: what like.

724
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: Your mum, who was the hard is the fifth level

725
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: a third one? It's always going to be different.

726
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 4: Right, And I can't say it enough like this has

727
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 4: been for me the easiest transition, but it's because it

728
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 4: comes with experience as well. Like I've now done it

729
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 4: three times. I knew exactly what I was in for,

730
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 4: I know what postpartum looks like, I know what I

731
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 4: need for support. I know what to tell Matt that

732
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 4: I need, you know. Whereas like the first time round

733
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:21,959
Speaker 4: and even the second time round, because the second time

734
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 4: round is such a new experience because you're trying to

735
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 4: cater to another baby. And we had two babies, they

736
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 4: were both in nappies, just with very different knees. Whereas

737
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 4: this time it's just so it has been so so different.

738
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 1: What am I doing right? What am I doing wrong? Right? Now?

739
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 3: You are very good this time around, like very Matt was, No,

740
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 3: this is jenuine.

741
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 4: So Marley's had this like dance audition at school right

742
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,959
Speaker 4: to get into a dance group that's apparently selective and

743
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 4: the new ages, and I didn't have the capacity to

744
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 4: learn the dance and teach her the dance. It's right,

745
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 4: So like we got given a video screening of it

746
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 4: a teacher teaching the dance, and Matt learned the entire

747
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 4: dance and taught it to her. So Matt and Mary

748
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 4: have been in the kitchen every day doing the dance

749
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 4: and learning the dance, and like that's I get good content,

750
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 4: great content I want to see. But it's it's like

751
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 4: really that for me? And like how nice it is

752
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,800
Speaker 4: that she has a dad who doesn't even question like

753
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 4: that he has to step up in those moments because

754
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 4: she needs someone to do it and I can't physically

755
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 4: teach her a dance at the moment. And I think

756
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 4: things like rather than it being about like oh, you

757
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,600
Speaker 4: made the dinner or you did the washing, or it's

758
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 4: more so being.

759
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 1: I'm waiting for it, Yeah, this good come on.

760
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 3: For me. It's a couple of things.

761
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 4: So it's obviously the doing more around like for the

762
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,160
Speaker 4: other kids and like around the house and the organizing

763
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 4: of everything. But also it's also like I need to

764
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 4: be around people who are positive about stuff.

765
00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 3: Like so if Matt was like, well, this is really

766
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 3: hard all the time, that.

767
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: Would be really rubs off on you.

768
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, but he's so positive, like, you know, even on

769
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 4: the days I think you are yeah, which is awesome.

770
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: So I'm just getting the negative size.

771
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 3: Make his life.

772
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 4: No, I think you're really positive, and I think that

773
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,320
Speaker 4: like you are. You're so good with the kids. You're

774
00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:27,959
Speaker 4: so positive with the kids, Like you're You're the one,

775
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:29,600
Speaker 4: the first one that's like, all right, let's go, let's

776
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 4: get out of the house, let's go to the park.

777
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 4: Like I feel like, nothing feels like a big deal.

778
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 4: And because it doesn't feel like it's a big deal

779
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 4: to you, it doesn't feel heavy, so I'm able to

780
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 4: kind of get on with life and do everything, and

781
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 4: I don't know, it just feels fun.

782
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 3: Still in the house. The house doesn't feel like a

783
00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 3: hard place to come home.

784
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 2: Because I'm like, I just want to sit there all day.

785
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 4: But like sometimes sometimes when you're in that newborn bubble,

786
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:55,280
Speaker 4: like kind of feels like the joy he's been sucked

787
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 4: out of the house because everyone's so tired, right, and

788
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 4: so you're just kind of like getting through.

789
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: It's nice to have someone to go get up, get

790
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:03,479
Speaker 2: everyone up.

791
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like positive, let's go to that about of

792
00:32:06,520 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 3: the day.

793
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 4: And sometimes when you're not the person who can bring

794
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 4: that kind of like ninety percent that you know, like

795
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 4: I'm I am tired and there are days where I

796
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 4: don't have that energy, and so you need the other

797
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 4: person to be the person who sets the tone of

798
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 4: like things are good, We're going to do stuff, and

799
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 4: life is great, you know, and if you don't want

800
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 4: you that's fine. I'll go down the shops and get coffee.

801
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 4: And like, Matt's a really good tone setter in the house.

802
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 4: I think I don't know that, Yeah you are.

803
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 2: That's just very nice for to say, Well.

804
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: What can I be better at?

805
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 5: Which why are you getting a list out of your pocket?

806
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 4: I think the one thing that I struggle with sometimes

807
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 4: is what I said at the start, not having any

808
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 4: time when the baby's not on me, and I have

809
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 4: to do a lot of the stuff regardless with her

810
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 4: on me, Like I'll cook dinner and she'll be strapped

811
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 4: to me, or I will go for a walk and

812
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 4: that's my exercise, but she's strapped to me.

813
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't take her off.

814
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 4: And so sometimes I have to hold it in when

815
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 4: I'm a bit like you can do that with her

816
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 4: in the carrier, you know. So like last night Matt

817
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 4: was like cooking steaks and he was like, oh, can

818
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 4: you take her because I don't want any oil to

819
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,480
Speaker 4: splash on her? Totally reasonable, and I'm like, I cooked

820
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 4: inners with her. Do you just put a muslin wrap?

821
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 4: And I was like, I'm not going to have that fight,

822
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 4: but I'll have it now.

823
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 2: So also, Laura, it's.

824
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 5: Not a competition. I remember when I had the baby

825
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 5: on me. I was so petrified all the time. Yes,

826
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 5: and I stoping happening. And sometimes I would be like,

827
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 5: finish my sausage roll and look down and be like,

828
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 5: get rid of the flakes of pastry off my child,

829
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 5: Like have a coffee.

830
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,960
Speaker 4: I'd be like, but you know what, it's such a

831
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 4: double edged sword because if Matt was cooking steaks over

832
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 4: the oven with spitting oil, I would be angry. At

833
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,080
Speaker 4: him and be stressed out that he's going to hurt

834
00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 4: the baby. But then when he says, oh, can you

835
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 4: take her because I've got to cook the steaks, I'm like, well,

836
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 4: I cook cook the steaks. So like he can't win

837
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 4: and I know that now, Whereas like if this was

838
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 4: first round, kid, I would be irrationally mad. I wouldn't

839
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 4: know that that's why I felt the way, but I

840
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 4: would just feel all those feelings at once, Whereas now

841
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay, Laura, you're going to take Bobby back,

842
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 4: and you know that there is no situation in this

843
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 4: where he can win, so don't pick a fart. The

844
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 4: only thing that I think sometimes I would like love

845
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,760
Speaker 4: more of is to be able to be like, she's fed,

846
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 4: take her. I'm leaving the house now, I'm going for

847
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 4: a walk by myself without a child.

848
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 3: Fair you know like that.

849
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:26,359
Speaker 4: I think I would love to have like an hour

850
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 4: to myself. But we are still seven weeks in. You know,

851
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 4: it's such early days.

852
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:32,480
Speaker 2: There's got plenty of time to do that.

853
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can get your life back eventually, get back

854
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 3: good luck.

855
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

856
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 5: I just remember when I did have a child on me,

857
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 5: it felt like I was in the hot seat for

858
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 5: something to happen.

859
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:41,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

860
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,120
Speaker 4: But that's also how you feel as the mom, because

861
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 4: like we're like wired differently now, like we're wired to protect,

862
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,479
Speaker 4: and so whenever Matt has her for a prolonged period

863
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 4: of time, I'm always like I'm going through the mental

864
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 4: list of things that could go wrong, and I actually

865
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 4: feel better when she's on me because I feel less anxious.

866
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:02,320
Speaker 4: So that's what I mean by like it's kind of

867
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 4: a double edged sword because sometimes I'm like, I want

868
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 4: you to take her, but then when he has her,

869
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 4: I don't feel at ease because I don't have her

870
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 4: on me, and I think, like that's all the hormones

871
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 4: that we have to deal with, which is just so

872
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,279
Speaker 4: you know, conflicting all the time, but it's yeah, I

873
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 4: think that third time round, I'm dealing with it a

874
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 4: bit better.

875
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: After the weekend where we were pretty much indoors the

876
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:24,280
Speaker 1: whole time. You do get a level of like anxiety

877
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: and frustration though when you're holding Poppy because you've you've

878
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: got her in your arms and you can still you

879
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: can walk around, you can do things, but you can't

880
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,239
Speaker 1: quite give attention to anything. For more than like five

881
00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: or ten seconds because she gets upset. So it's really frustrating.

882
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,440
Speaker 1: You know, you can like have a bite of a sandwich,

883
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: you can't write an email, you can't do what you

884
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: want to do. So when you have her on you

885
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:45,719
Speaker 1: for like three hours, it's so nice. So then yeah,

886
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 1: I have a break. And I think that's something I

887
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,240
Speaker 1: need to be more aware of, is how much time

888
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: you have with her constantly latched onto you.

889
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 4: And my situation is very different, Like I'm back at

890
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 4: work at full capacity, so like I'm back recording podcasting,

891
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 4: I'm back running tone you may, but I have to

892
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,239
Speaker 4: do all of my work with her on me. So

893
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 4: when Matt's like, oh can you hold her cause I

894
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 4: got to write an email, I.

895
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 3: Will stab you. I shouldn't say that that's.

896
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 4: Very bad, but I like, this is one of those instincts.

897
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 4: And that's really tricky because like that is not it's

898
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 4: not normal to go back to work with the seven

899
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 4: way cop baby.

900
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,400
Speaker 3: I do that to myself, So it's tough.

901
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 4: Man, Like I and I know that obviously I'm the

902
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 4: one in the hot seat, but interested to know, like

903
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,920
Speaker 4: how do you feel about adding the third Like what

904
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 4: were your reservations and how is this leveled up in

905
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 4: terms of what your expectations were.

906
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: It's funny because I think the expectations that you have

907
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: all of a sudden just become completely forgotten when you're

908
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: in the trenches and you're like, oh, you know, you're

909
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,320
Speaker 1: trying to remember what life was like with just two kids,

910
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,280
Speaker 1: and that is really hard to have those flashback moments.

911
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 1: It's all just like life now is just feels like

912
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:49,960
Speaker 1: it's forever been with three in the mix. I think

913
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: I was nervous just about how we would adjust to

914
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: juggling everything, but people are crazy in that you can

915
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: put like another piece of the puzzle in the mix

916
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,880
Speaker 1: and you just it settles and you just find time.

917
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,439
Speaker 1: Like it's just we've kind of made it work. I think,

918
00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: coming off the back of that period of you know,

919
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,439
Speaker 1: Mum being sick and then taking on the pickup, which

920
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 1: has just been an added bit of responsibility, and finishing

921
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: the renovation as well, that's all kind of just it's

922
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: all been this like bottleneck for the last couple of months.

923
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: I think we're doing okay. I think part of the

924
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,640
Speaker 1: reason why we're doing okay, and I like, not just

925
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: the Pasha Ego because we're on the podcast. But I

926
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: think there's lots of times where I think myself, holy fuck,

927
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 1: Laura is doing so well. Like you know, with the

928
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: nighttime feeds, you just take into being a parent like

929
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,399
Speaker 1: an absolute pro, like that.

930
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:43,720
Speaker 4: Time No and I got a muscle memory.

931
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 1: Don't tell you enough. I have those little three hour blocks,

932
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: and three hours it's like two hours where I have

933
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: Poppy on me and I'm thinking, oh god, I need

934
00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,360
Speaker 1: a break, and then I have to remind myself that

935
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 1: you're doing this every single day. So I'm in awe,

936
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: like total awe of how well you're doing. And I

937
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: think that that's why you talk about setting the tone.

938
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: And I look at you as being someone who's kind

939
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: of being like, this is great. We're going to enjoy

940
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: this and it's going to be not easy, but we're

941
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 1: going to get through it. And I look to you

942
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: for how we attack each day.

943
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 4: Tones I think we both do it. I think we're

944
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 4: also conscious, like we have such an ability to impact

945
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 4: each other's mood around it.

946
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,680
Speaker 3: And like I think because.

947
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,400
Speaker 4: I was so petrified that this was going to be awful,

948
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 4: I really was scared, and I think I just had

949
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,919
Speaker 4: I just ruminated in my brain about it so much

950
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 4: that I was like, you're going to be in the trenches.

951
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,600
Speaker 4: It's going to be so so hard, there's going to

952
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 4: be zero joy, Like will your relationship even survive other things.

953
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 3: I don't know why. I don't know why I was so.

954
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 4: Negative about it, but it took over my thoughts for

955
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 4: a while. And so when she came out and I

956
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 4: was like, oh my god, I do love you as

957
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 4: much as I love my other kids, there was more

958
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 4: space for more love. This is actually amazing, and there

959
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 4: is like we still love each other and we can

960
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 4: still have fun, and yeah, we're tired and all that stuff.

961
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:02,719
Speaker 3: Like it's been so healing for me. I think in

962
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 3: a lot of ways.

963
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: Do you know what I think is a tough moment

964
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: of the day. Well, I don't know if you feel

965
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: the same way. Oh God, but I reckon You're.

966
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 4: Like, it's ten thirty at night when I'm like, hey,

967
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 4: the doctor gave you the all clear, and I'm like

968
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 4: I'm tired now.

969
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:16,959
Speaker 2: Yeah.

970
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: I think what is a hard moment of the day

971
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: is we were in that muscle memory of once you

972
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,239
Speaker 1: get the kids, Miley and Lola down into bed and

973
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 1: they're asleep, then we get time together and at the moment,

974
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 1: we're in a phase of we get them down and

975
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: then we've got dinner to cook, we've got popping to

976
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,320
Speaker 1: job over. Yeah, that's it.

977
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 4: Because newborn's got to sleep at nine o'clock. So like

978
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 4: we've got a seven, a nine, and an eleven, so

979
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 4: there's just no time in between now.

980
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, And I know that feeling you're saying, like, because

981
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 5: obviously I'm in that position where it's like, once they're

982
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 5: in bed, it's kind of like you finish your game

983
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:56,399
Speaker 5: of football, right, you finish, you finish your whole day

984
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 5: of full time whistle, full full time whistle telling you're like, all.

985
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,040
Speaker 2: Right, it's time take boots, it's time to fill my

986
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:02,920
Speaker 2: cup up again.

987
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,120
Speaker 5: But then you're getting to the point now because you're

988
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:06,960
Speaker 5: so deep in the thick of it right now.

989
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not over. Yeah, you're like, good night, girls,

990
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 2: love you. We've got a third quarter back to my

991
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 2: night shift job. Now, you know, your moonlighting a second job.

992
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's gone into overs. I wonder if it's the

993
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 4: same for you, Matt, Like, I know you love her.

994
00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 4: I know that I'm not I don't want to speak

995
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 4: for you, but like I feel utterly obsessed with her,

996
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 4: Like I am so in love with her, and I

997
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 4: feel so deeply in love with her in the same

998
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 4: way that I love my other kids. And I thought

999
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 4: that that was going to take a while for that

1000
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 4: to develop. And I do reckon that a lot of

1001
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 4: it's hormones.

1002
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 3: But then they're just so fucking cute. Like everything she does,

1003
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm looking at a smile.

1004
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: Look. He's like, watch her, and I'm like five seconds

1005
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yep, go and then she's like watch

1006
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:47,360
Speaker 1: her for longer.

1007
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: That's a man's mentality, bro. Like I like that. I

1008
00:40:50,200 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 2: need like tiny bits of cuteness and I'm like sick.

1009
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 4: I literally like gaze at her and he's like I've

1010
00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 4: had enough, and I'm like staring into her eyes, kiss her,

1011
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 4: kiss her on the face.

1012
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,720
Speaker 3: He's like, what are you doing, I've had my fix.

1013
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,080
Speaker 3: I want to like climb inside her mouth. She's so

1014
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 3: cute that I can't.

1015
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 5: I'm finding for me that the older my kids get,

1016
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 5: the more cute I think they are.

1017
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:08,959
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.

1018
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,439
Speaker 2: Like I was never a big baby guy.

1019
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 4: I read this once a dad talking about his experience

1020
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 4: of fatherhood, and he was like, I remember my son

1021
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 4: being born, and I didn't have the flood of love

1022
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 4: that everyone talks about, you know. And he's like, I

1023
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 4: really walked out of the hospital thinking, fuck, we've ruined

1024
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 4: our life. Which is a very extreme reaction to.

1025
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 5: That. Was that was my first experience as being a dad.

1026
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 5: And I openly said it before on podcasts and wherever

1027
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 5: else I've said it. There was a stage there I

1028
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 5: hated him.

1029
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 3: Wow.

1030
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 4: He just felt like to us, yes, yes, and this

1031
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 4: is exactly what this was.

1032
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 3: You know this right up.

1033
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 4: And he said, but I fell in love with my

1034
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 4: children when I got to know them. He's like, as

1035
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,600
Speaker 4: I got to know my kids, my my love for

1036
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 4: them grew in a way that I wasn't expecting.

1037
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: I fell in love with my children.

1038
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 1: And I feel that as a dad, yeah.

1039
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 4: And I didn't feel that as a mom. Like as

1040
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,640
Speaker 4: a mom, I don't think I necessarily had like the

1041
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 4: flood the very I think I kind of was. I

1042
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 4: was like deer in the headlights the very first time,

1043
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,759
Speaker 4: but the love came super quick, whereas this time there

1044
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:10,280
Speaker 4: was no.

1045
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 3: Deer in the headlights.

1046
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 4: I was just like, ah, straight away coming is mother

1047
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,239
Speaker 4: that weird mucus stuff all over me.

1048
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: Okay.

1049
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,040
Speaker 5: So and that also comes down to your muscle memory

1050
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,480
Speaker 5: too about your parent because at the first time, everyone's

1051
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,399
Speaker 5: like shit, the first initial like I was like, stunt, Yeah,

1052
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 5: the first initial thing is like what do I I

1053
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 5: remember when obviously it was an emergency C section and

1054
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 5: I had oscar while April was getting looked after, and

1055
00:42:34,360 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 5: I was like, at one point I was like.

1056
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 2: What am I fucking doing it? And then my mother

1057
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 2: in law.

1058
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 5: Walks in and I was like, please just have this

1059
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,640
Speaker 5: child because I don't know. I was just in shock, really,

1060
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 5: and then yeah, like like Matt was saying, as well,

1061
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 5: it wasn't I wasn't in love with this kid immediately,

1062
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 5: like yes, it was a nightmare. But like as they're

1063
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 5: getting older, I'm finding that I'm way more in love

1064
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 5: with them as I'm getting to know them, way more

1065
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,920
Speaker 5: Like Macie, like all of a sudden, she's hit four.

1066
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:04,360
Speaker 2: Last week and she's like a little.

1067
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,040
Speaker 1: Girl's sending me photos of she's the cureest fucking care.

1068
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:11,120
Speaker 4: There might be like there'll definitely be people who relate

1069
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 4: to this and have had those feelings, and then there'll

1070
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 4: be people who had this such instant love that they

1071
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 4: can't even fathom it being the opposite. And I think

1072
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 4: when you've experienced the opposite, if you're in it, that's

1073
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,480
Speaker 4: a very frightening feeling of like, oh my god, this

1074
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:30,799
Speaker 4: is not what I expected. But there's something And I

1075
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 4: think it's really braver of you to share that ash

1076
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:35,919
Speaker 4: because it's it's not what people are expected to say

1077
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,760
Speaker 4: about parenting. And I think that there's something really healing

1078
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 4: for those who have experienced it to know, oh, Okay,

1079
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 4: well I'm not broken and like it's going to get better,

1080
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,720
Speaker 4: Like it doesn't stay in this version of like stress forever.

1081
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, you grow out of it.

1082
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: This actually leads me to my next question, what is

1083
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: your favorite age so far?

1084
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 4: I don't have a favorite age. No, I don't have

1085
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 4: a favorite age. I love the kids at every age

1086
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 4: and every age. I think it's my favorite age until

1087
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 4: the next age comes up, like right now, I would

1088
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 4: say newborn four and six.

1089
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite family member?

1090
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 3: Buster?

1091
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:07,760
Speaker 1: No?

1092
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,399
Speaker 2: Favorite child? Yeah?

1093
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:13,560
Speaker 4: Buster, No, I don't have a favorite You can't have

1094
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,720
Speaker 4: a favorite child, it's not real. You have different.

1095
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 3: Times, which easier today.

1096
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 2: But also you have favorite things you like about each

1097
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:22,919
Speaker 2: of them. You know what I mean?

1098
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 4: Our kids are so different, each one of them is

1099
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:27,239
Speaker 4: so different, and I'm just obsessed with all of them.

1100
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 1: When it comes to the responsibilities that you and I

1101
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: take on, how have we gotten to where we are?

1102
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 3: How do you answer this one? What is the question?

1103
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: I'm confused?

1104
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 1: How have we gotten to the point?

1105
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 3: Sorry? Is the question? How did we get.

1106
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: How we got into this?

1107
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:43,920
Speaker 3: How there?

1108
00:44:48,719 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 1: How have we gotten to the point now? Currently? In

1109
00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 1: terms of who does what with responsibilities and of parenting.

1110
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: I'm with you now, I'm with you, I'm with you,

1111
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: with you.

1112
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 4: It evolves, and it constantly evolves because when the kid

1113
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 4: for little and when they're newborns and babies, I'm doing

1114
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:05,560
Speaker 4: the line share. There is no argument there, like I

1115
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 4: am doing ninety nine point nine percent for Poppy, and

1116
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 4: then that means that you've picked up mornings for the kids,

1117
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 4: but you haven't always done mornings for the kids. My

1118
00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:16,320
Speaker 4: work got busier, so I needed to be. So I

1119
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 4: think it's just a constant It's a constant conversation, and

1120
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 4: you know, on the times when I need more help

1121
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 4: and therefore Matt needs to do more of X or

1122
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 4: Y with the kids. And then vice versa. We got

1123
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 4: to fill the holes where the holes need to be filled.

1124
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 4: How would you describe that? I do think it's always

1125
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:32,800
Speaker 4: changing though.

1126
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the admin guy, so a lot

1127
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 1: of the admin stuff I just have. It's kind of

1128
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: fallen into my lap.

1129
00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:39,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you're.

1130
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: Good at it, this is one of our things we

1131
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 3: argue about.

1132
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 5: You are I know, I'm not surprised over here again.

1133
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:49,839
Speaker 3: But it depends on the admin, right.

1134
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 4: So admin that Matt never had to even look at

1135
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 4: was all the admin I had to do for a

1136
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 4: newborn baby.

1137
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 3: It didn't even know. Yeah, the book, hospitals book, every

1138
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 3: OB's appointment. There was so much admin that it was

1139
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 3: in charge of the assurance. Well, they didn't get to happen.

1140
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,600
Speaker 4: There is so much admin that goes into having a

1141
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 4: baby and a leep one baby and registering the baby

1142
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 4: and doing all of the vaxes and everything else. Like

1143
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 4: I have done every single step of this admin and

1144
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,160
Speaker 4: so therefore I'm like, you can register the car.

1145
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 3: I got to register a baby.

1146
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 4: So like I do think that you know, as much

1147
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,320
Speaker 4: as you have picked up a lot of the life

1148
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,399
Speaker 4: and house admin in the last nine months, I feel

1149
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 4: like I've been doing a shit ton of admin just

1150
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 4: having a baby, for sure.

1151
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: And I feel like as you've been pulled into more

1152
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:34,200
Speaker 1: and more work, kind of just been pulled into more

1153
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 1: and more of the responsibilities with the girls.

1154
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, in different ways.

1155
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 5: But then like it could change, like next next week,

1156
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 5: it could change. Like that's the thing when you say

1157
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 5: it evolves, Like there could be something else that your

1158
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 5: attention needs to go off to do something, and then

1159
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 5: you'll pick up something that he's had to put down.

1160
00:46:50,080 --> 00:46:51,719
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, all Stars.

1161
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:52,240
Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars.

1162
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 4: Well, and I mean, you know you went and did

1163
00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:55,920
Speaker 4: I'm a celebrity for six weeks this year and I

1164
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,960
Speaker 4: did one hundred percent of everything. So I mean, it's

1165
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 4: ebbs and flows. It depends what's happening in each other's lives.

1166
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 2: Poppy Pearl, Where did that come from?

1167
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 3: I just liked the name Poppy.

1168
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 4: We were throwing names around and it was one that

1169
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 4: like stuck to the wall that we both liked. And

1170
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 4: then Pearl is my dad's. So every middle name that

1171
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 4: we have for our kids is.

1172
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 3: Like a family name.

1173
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,920
Speaker 4: So Ellis is from Matt's mum, May is from my

1174
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:24,160
Speaker 4: grandparents on my mom's side, and Pearl is my dad's

1175
00:47:24,239 --> 00:47:26,720
Speaker 4: mom's name, but she died when he was really little.

1176
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 4: So yeah, I messaged him and I was like, would

1177
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 4: you be okay if we use the name Pearl, and

1178
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,240
Speaker 4: he was really stoked about it. He messaged his brother,

1179
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 4: who is his only still living brother, and I think

1180
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,399
Speaker 4: it was a really nice, like sentimental moment for them

1181
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 4: that Pearl still exists in the family.

1182
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:42,160
Speaker 1: And I really like alliteration.

1183
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 3: Poppy Pearl Smiley May Is that what that is?

1184
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: Poppy Pearl?

1185
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,359
Speaker 1: Laura, you've been fantastic. You've been a great guest.

1186
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 2: Did they allow to here?

1187
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 3: What I owe you for this therapy session?

1188
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,279
Speaker 2: Oh? Look, you're probably having a baby. You've hit the

1189
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 2: medicator limit, so you'll get it all bad.

1190
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 3: So I get a rebate, Okay, oh you'll get get.

1191
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: Has been great.

1192
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, she is a star, Like she's a class act.

1193
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:08,120
Speaker 3: When it comes to podcasting.

1194
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 1: You've got to get out of here. Thank you so

1195
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: much for jumping on the podcast. It is just a

1196
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:15,000
Speaker 1: pleasure to have you on here. Poppy, big big one.

1197
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 3: She's just thank thank you.

1198
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: So she's like, thank you. If you want to ask

1199
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: people to maybe review first, thank you.

1200
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,840
Speaker 3: Thanks sharing on thank You, Thank you.

1201
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 4: If you guys love the episode, go Apple Podcast, leave

1202
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:31,480
Speaker 4: a review, subscribe, go onto YouTube, watch all the videos

1203
00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 4: so much and share it with a friend.

1204
00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,800
Speaker 2: Not as beggy as Matt would do it like everyone.

1205
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 4: Please, even if you don't listen to them, just click

1206
00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 4: on them when you're in the car and let them

1207
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 4: downloads and we can get the downloads done.

1208
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 5: Or join us on socials Dad's Instagram, Facebook YouTube.

1209
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 3: Also laughe on cart if you want.

1210
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: To cut that out.

1211
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: Thank you, I love you, I love.

1212
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 2: You, Love you Bye.

1213
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1214
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

1215
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 5: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1216
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,800
Speaker 5: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

1217
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 5: peoples today.

1218
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.