Speaker 1: Life Uncut Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of
Speaker 1: the Aurora Nation.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to the Life on Cut podcast. I'm Laura, I'm.
Speaker 3: Mitch, and I'm Forritty and everyone is very confused. Well,
Speaker 3: this is our radio show. Is where we package up
Speaker 3: the best bits of the pick up bring them right
Speaker 3: here so you don't have to listen to the whole
Speaker 3: show live.
Speaker 1: We had a pretty eclectic week this week, didn't we have.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of fun, you know what. We
Speaker 2: just pay each other out the whole time and.
Speaker 1: Then call it radio.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're the three best friends we ever had. All right, Well,
Speaker 3: on this week's episode. On this week's show, I talked
Speaker 3: about it very embarrassing, not very embarrassing, just like a
Speaker 3: really awkward small talk moment. I think there's all always
Speaker 3: moments in life, like getting a papsmere where you've got
Speaker 3: make small talk, or like I don't know, give me another.
Speaker 1: Either way, but it's it's I find it awkward small
Speaker 1: talk when it's like not maybe not the situation, but
Speaker 1: you know when you're walking down the street and you're like, hey,
Speaker 1: how are you, and you're like good, how are you?
Speaker 1: They're like good and you and you're like damn it?
Speaker 4: You know, do you stop or do you keep walking?
Speaker 3: You just do the high high If someone says how
Speaker 3: are you, that's good. That's why. If you're crossing someone
Speaker 3: in the street, you just say hi. You don't go
Speaker 3: how are you? There's no time for a reply.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, just I blink five times.
Speaker 1: And you should reminded me. I'm just gonna go row
Speaker 1: and tell your story here. I just thought of this
Speaker 1: right now, probably like a week only a week ago.
Speaker 1: I was I just got Delilah back, and I was
Speaker 1: walking up the road, like a really busy road, and
Speaker 1: I saw someone on you on the up side of
Speaker 1: the road. But I don't know them well. I just
Speaker 1: know them from the dog park. They were sitting down
Speaker 1: at a table and I had their dop and we
Speaker 1: sort of waved across and I stopped awkwardly to wave
Speaker 1: to each other, and they just sort of looked for
Speaker 1: too long. So I sort of pointed across the road
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, come over, like I'll come
Speaker 1: say hi, and they're like, oh, okay. And then so
Speaker 1: we're looking at it each other across the road and
Speaker 1: I was waiting on the side of the road and
Speaker 1: the traffic was so busy.
Speaker 3: I start there for like twelve minutes. I couldn't get
Speaker 3: across the road.
Speaker 1: And then we kept like awkwardly looking at each other.
Speaker 1: They wanted to get on with their date night. I
Speaker 1: just ended up going I'll see you later and I
Speaker 1: just walked home alone.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, I mean that is pretty awkward, but
Speaker 3: I think I have topped it. I think I have
Speaker 3: found the most awkward moment to have small talk. I
Speaker 3: did it on the weekend and it was fucking horrible.
Speaker 2: Okay, well I have, like I've said, I'm in my
Speaker 2: health and wellness Era, my gup, I'm in my gweneth Era.
Speaker 3: What was your hot girl song you're playing just before?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Can I play it? Will you guys get copy written stricken?
Speaker 3: Probably five second copy stricken?
Speaker 4: Is that all you've got?
Speaker 3: I don't know somewhere around there right, this is my
Speaker 3: only ever just play a little time.
Speaker 1: Did your podcast too.
Speaker 2: If you know? Of course, I know, I'm just adding
Speaker 2: some drama. I know you're not going to get copy
Speaker 2: written stricken. You're the biggest show in.
Speaker 3: The world, which is probably even more right.
Speaker 2: This is my hot girl song, like this is picture
Speaker 2: me Mitch cheery, gorgeous body walking inactive wear, head to
Speaker 2: toe Lulu lam and this is what I'm playing on
Speaker 2: my AirPods. Yes, I don't care. I'm been my pretty girl.
Speaker 4: You love?
Speaker 2: This is so ye me just wait ready.
Speaker 4: This is brief.
Speaker 3: We played five seconds now.
Speaker 2: That's fine. I'm yeah, this is my it's my theme song.
Speaker 4: Can I say?
Speaker 2: There are so many lifers in my dms, like, hey,
Speaker 2: have you got cock yet?
Speaker 4: They're also into it.
Speaker 3: They're very invested, especially in a breakup, have you because
Speaker 3: you've not told me that exactly yet.
Speaker 2: I haven't and I haven't got asked yet. I've done nothing.
Speaker 3: That's a shame.
Speaker 1: I I've getten hit on left, right and Santa, you
Speaker 1: could have it any night you want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the dms are not so. I'm enjoying the d ms,
Speaker 2: but I haven't got the orifice or yet. That'll get
Speaker 2: copy written.
Speaker 4: The stricken.
Speaker 3: Thank you for the time, the details, and when you
Speaker 3: do get orifice or pole. I hope that we are
Speaker 3: the first people, the.
Speaker 4: First I have joined a gym.
Speaker 2: Anyway, something awkward happened with me and my personal trainer,
Speaker 2: and it was it was when you say a lie
Speaker 2: or you get kind of you kind of say something
Speaker 2: that's not true, but then it goes that awkward period
Speaker 2: of time that you can't then change it, Like I've
Speaker 2: told him something factually incorrect about me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you just stick to it forever.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, you have to die.
Speaker 4: On that hill totally.
Speaker 2: And it's now gotten to the point where I can't
Speaker 2: go back and change what I've told him, but he
Speaker 2: believes this to be truth.
Speaker 3: Ah, so bad. I think you just get a new
Speaker 3: PT trainer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so yeah, or move countries.
Speaker 6: Well.
Speaker 1: I have big news about the brand new series of
Speaker 1: The Bachelor in America. It is the most progressive, wildest
Speaker 1: casting that they have ever had, and I reckon it's
Speaker 1: going to be the best season yet and it.
Speaker 3: Is a white man. There's so much more on the show.
Speaker 3: We hope you guys love it. I discovered over the
Speaker 3: weekend that I am old I stopped, look, try and
Speaker 3: make it a little bit more convincing. Miss I discovered
Speaker 3: I'm old, and I made this discovery, and it's something
Speaker 3: that you also maybe make will make the same discovery.
Speaker 3: I was in the middle of reading an article and
Speaker 3: it said that if you hold your phone and scroll
Speaker 3: through apps using your index finger, not your thumb, you're old.
Speaker 3: And as I look down at my phone, I was
Speaker 3: there scrolling. Well, firstly with my index.
Speaker 1: Finger, you're not old, you're middle aged.
Speaker 3: I think I'm heading into the older.
Speaker 2: How old you actually label it?
Speaker 3: I'm thirty seven, guys, but I'm old at heart.
Speaker 2: We get did you get a heart check? You? Okay?
Speaker 2: I am.
Speaker 1: I scroll with my thumb. I'm a thumb scroll as.
Speaker 2: Everyone scrolls with their thumb. It's not it's not Moses
Speaker 2: etching into the ten commands.
Speaker 3: I hold it with my left hand and I scroll
Speaker 3: with my index hold it like this and I click
Speaker 3: it up and then I scroll with one.
Speaker 4: Why do you know why?
Speaker 1: And this is not a dig at you. This is
Speaker 1: someone that knows you like the back of my hand.
Speaker 1: It's because you only do one thing at a time.
Speaker 1: You can't concentrate, so you've got two hands to use it,
Speaker 1: but most people are doing things simultaneously, so they're scrolling
Speaker 1: with their thumb.
Speaker 3: I love that you think this, but according to this article,
Speaker 3: it's just because I'm pretty much a boomer. But there
Speaker 3: was something else that happened to me. It all kind
Speaker 3: of came to a head on the one weekend, so
Speaker 3: we went out for a staff dinner for Tony May.
Speaker 3: I have a couple of employees who are in their
Speaker 3: early twenties and they're all on Hinge, and they're on Bumble,
Speaker 3: and they're on Tinder, and they're doing the dating apps.
Speaker 3: And it's been a while since I've bet on the
Speaker 3: dating apps, but I really really enjoy when I can
Speaker 3: get someone else's and kind of just you know, send
Speaker 3: a few. Which is weird. Weird that the thirty seven
Speaker 3: year old boss was sending messages to the twenty one
Speaker 3: year old employees Hinge matches. There's probably some sort of
Speaker 3: so morally, probably not great, probably some sort of hr
Speaker 3: thing that I'm going to have to I'll give you.
Speaker 2: A Christmas bonus, give me your Tinder.
Speaker 3: No, So, there was this boy on Hinge and I
Speaker 3: was replying for my staff Julie. Yeah, I was he's
Speaker 3: twenty one. I was riding back for her. She wanted
Speaker 3: to meet up with him, and I sent a little message.
Speaker 2: One letter at a time. Did it take you an
Speaker 2: hour at a How are you with my finger?
Speaker 3: I sent a message and I showed it to her,
Speaker 3: and she looked at me, and she goes, what the
Speaker 3: hell is wrong with you? She's like, how many emojis
Speaker 3: and capital letters are you going to use? In the
Speaker 3: one paragraph? I sent like a crying laughing face and
Speaker 3: then a couple of exclamation marks, and like, you know, obviously.
Speaker 1: I wrote doughnut water.
Speaker 3: I wrote a sentence, but I expressed my emotions through
Speaker 3: the emojis, which is what they're there for. Apparently old
Speaker 3: people do that.
Speaker 1: I love an emoji. I emoji Lefrence, and I only
Speaker 1: communicate with my partner Bend with emojis. We don't actually talk.
Speaker 3: Well, this might actually mean that you're a boomer now
Speaker 3: And if you use the crying laughing face too often,
Speaker 3: you're certainly an old person.
Speaker 2: And I just say something on behalf of the gen
Speaker 2: z of the show. Yes, I am oh.
Speaker 1: He's angry about it.
Speaker 2: I am okay, let's give it. Let's give it. I'm
Speaker 2: born ninety five. I'm by gender all I can. I
Speaker 2: can be gen z or I can be millennial, and
Speaker 2: you're bi generational, and I identify as gen z. And
Speaker 2: let me tell you this is how you know you're old.
Speaker 2: I haven't used an emoji since they first came out.
Speaker 3: I tested them day one, called bullshit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I'm trying to I speak your LANGUAGEXT.
Speaker 1: Messages on airlight Okay, Nope, that was me that sent that.
Speaker 1: That sent that on me, and there's none on me.
Speaker 4: I don't use emojis. Point one, that's how you know
Speaker 4: you're old.
Speaker 2: Point two, gen zs gen ztters us do not capitalize letters.
Speaker 2: I've gone so far as to turn it off in
Speaker 2: my settings auto capitalization.
Speaker 4: Everything's lower case.
Speaker 3: Why would somebody intentionally go out of their way to
Speaker 3: use bad grammar.
Speaker 2: I don't understand bad grammar. It's the way we have
Speaker 2: a normal conversation. If I capitalized the start of every
Speaker 2: word while we spoke dumb, you don't.
Speaker 3: Go on go on three months ago, shockface, I didn't
Speaker 3: send that. You only capitalize the first letter of the sentence,
Speaker 3: not every word. Why why it's.
Speaker 1: A country like Australia, Why.
Speaker 2: Are gen Z not doing that because it's a conversation.
Speaker 4: We don't. We don't care. You Gottas care too much,
Speaker 4: gen Z don't care.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we care about education.
Speaker 1: It's important.
Speaker 2: I'm educated. Thank you. And also I'll say I use
Speaker 2: that emoji because I was talking too much. I knew
Speaker 2: who my audience was. When you talk to an old person,
Speaker 2: you go, how was cyre?
Speaker 3: They I don't get and I will never.
Speaker 1: I am never gon to dumb myself down. These little
Speaker 1: kidlets that are running around thinking it's not cool to
Speaker 1: punctuate and use capital letters. I'm sorry. You go for
Speaker 1: a job and write a CV and don't use grammar.
Speaker 1: And see how that far that gets? I kind of speak,
Speaker 1: See how far I gets you?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: Right emoji?
Speaker 1: What what I I Am getting from this is that Britt,
Speaker 1: you are also old?
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you in the lowercase. As you know, I've
Speaker 2: been lifting that iron at the gym.
Speaker 3: You're in your hot boy era.
Speaker 4: I'm in my hot boy.
Speaker 1: Era, in your fitness era, health era. You are unstoppable,
Speaker 1: tenkilas down.
Speaker 2: I'm going to the gym twice a week. I got
Speaker 2: my cellf a personal trainer. Who the hell am I?
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 3: Do you know what somebody who's committed to the cause.
Speaker 3: Eleven kilos? Don't you wrong yourself?
Speaker 2: Thank you? I've got that one. That was the poof
Speaker 2: that I did this morning.
Speaker 1: It doesn't count.
Speaker 7: I am.
Speaker 2: My personal trainer is a lovely guy named Lee. To
Speaker 2: be honest, I thought it was a woman at first.
Speaker 2: When I turned off, I'm like, where is she? And
Speaker 2: it was a man named Lee. Like oh, because just
Speaker 2: because of the name, yeah, I was expecting a woman.
Speaker 2: But it was a man. So Lee is my personal trainer,
Speaker 2: and the most horrific thing has happened, and I need
Speaker 2: to sort of brainstorm some ideas of how I can
Speaker 2: get out of this mess that I've entited.
Speaker 3: What happened.
Speaker 2: So, you know, a personal trainer sits there with you
Speaker 2: and they count your reps while you're doing We're doing
Speaker 2: a lap pull down, so the bar above your head,
Speaker 2: you pull it down.
Speaker 3: Here, we got it.
Speaker 1: You don't have to talk about it. You're doing an exercise.
Speaker 2: We're doing an exercise and he's standing there in his
Speaker 2: counting one to ten and he's sort of going, why
Speaker 2: are you here? Talk to me about why you want
Speaker 2: to be at the gym.
Speaker 3: Because this is what you do when you get in
Speaker 3: your hairdress there getting your pet, you give them all
Speaker 3: your life in fun totally.
Speaker 2: You want to know any your goal. Yeah, and Jim's
Speaker 2: very It's always incited by something, you know. And for
Speaker 2: me it was the breakup and I went through a
Speaker 2: couple of months ago with my long term partner. I've
Speaker 2: spoken about it at length on the show. And he
Speaker 2: goes to me, oh, you've been through a breakup.
Speaker 4: I went yeah.
Speaker 6: Four.
Speaker 2: So I pulled the chin down talking about the breakup.
Speaker 4: He went six.
Speaker 2: You know, we're getting to ten reps. I'm exhausted. I'm
Speaker 2: not really focusing, you know, like I'm thinking about getting
Speaker 2: to ten reps.
Speaker 4: So I take a breath.
Speaker 2: And relax, concentrating nine and he goes, so with the breakup,
Speaker 2: did you break up with your missus or did she
Speaker 2: break up with you? Ten? Droped the weights and I went, oh,
Speaker 2: I broke up. I break up with her. It was
Speaker 2: me who broke up with her. My partner was a man.
Speaker 3: Why did you so?
Speaker 1: Now he thinks that you were in a heterosexual relationship
Speaker 1: with com.
Speaker 3: How long ago did this happen?
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago is my third week of training. I've
Speaker 2: got a session tomorrow, and at.
Speaker 3: No point you've cleared up. At no point have you
Speaker 3: said I'm gay.
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, after we do the sit down roller. Remember
Speaker 2: how I told you I had a girlfriend. H I
Speaker 2: actually have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Right now, I'll bring it out. Okay, So it's been
Speaker 1: two weeks. I'm only assuming there's been more conversation about it.
Speaker 1: Have you just been rolling with the yeah she did.
Speaker 3: This, she did that.
Speaker 4: It's gone too deep. I'm like, yeah, it was her
Speaker 4: ovaries that really got me.
Speaker 2: In the end, I don't know what to say.
Speaker 3: Okay, So has it come up again and you've continued.
Speaker 4: With the lie.
Speaker 2: He hasn't brought up a herb. But anytime we talk
Speaker 2: about my ex, I just said, it's.
Speaker 3: Implied it was a woman.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, they do.
Speaker 1: I call him and air this out on on air.
Speaker 2: I know, because the relationship is really good and the
Speaker 2: PT is great. We have great session, probably because you
Speaker 2: think some one of the bros.
Speaker 3: Do you Okay, he was sure that he's not going
Speaker 3: to treat you any different if he finds out that
Speaker 3: your ex was actually a boy.
Speaker 2: No, no, of course. But it's one of those things
Speaker 2: that's gone on so far that I actually think it's
Speaker 2: probably safer and easier.
Speaker 1: Not big anymore. I commit to the course and.
Speaker 2: Go all the Well, I don't have Tinder yet, so
Speaker 2: maybe I can download and just switch to women and
Speaker 2: we'll try on.
Speaker 4: People are calling through.
Speaker 2: I think they're trying to make me feel better, Melinda, Hi,
Speaker 2: did you get caught in a lie?
Speaker 6: Hi?
Speaker 8: Mitch, thank you for having me on.
Speaker 9: Yes, I have.
Speaker 8: Well, it's still kind of going a little bit. But
Speaker 8: I got down to my local cafe shops and I
Speaker 8: ordered a coffee about twelve months ago, and I ordered
Speaker 8: it on oat milk, but the guy serving was really
Speaker 8: cute and he gave it to me on full cream milk.
Speaker 8: And the thing is, I'm lactose in no.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 8: So it's like it's a mess, honestly, like and I
Speaker 8: just can't help it. I get mesmerized and I just
Speaker 8: go with it. And he's like the regular and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yes, then you go to work and just
Speaker 1: shoot yourself plactic she'll die, but she's like, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that's surely in.
Speaker 3: This instance you can just say, hey, I've changed my
Speaker 3: milk and then get him to update it.
Speaker 2: Melinda.
Speaker 1: It's all like he's the way like, you know, he's
Speaker 1: sitting there propping and start propping.
Speaker 8: He's propping.
Speaker 4: I don't know that helps.
Speaker 2: For Melinda, but not me, Hey Lee, I've changed my sexuality.
Speaker 3: Sometimes people realize they're gay and they do change.
Speaker 4: It, all right, How long did you continue the life for? These?
Speaker 2: Calls are great?
Speaker 4: Hi Ella Ella? How long did you.
Speaker 6: Continue the life for hey guys?
Speaker 10: A deeply uncomfortable scenario. I have a family that I
Speaker 10: regularly bump into at the shops who have mistaken me
Speaker 10: for their children's swimming coach a very long time ago.
Speaker 11: I'm talking like over ten years, and every time I
Speaker 11: see them, they ask me more questions about the sister
Speaker 11: I do not have and my love life, which is
Speaker 11: just I just have to make stuff.
Speaker 9: Up all the time.
Speaker 6: It's so bad.
Speaker 1: Because you've just gone too deep. You can't after years. Spoiler,
Speaker 1: it's not actually me.
Speaker 3: Why did you play along with it in the first place?
Speaker 11: I think I was too flustered.
Speaker 6: I just had to.
Speaker 4: Also such a niche coach, sec.
Speaker 11: I've never coached swimming in my life.
Speaker 3: Can you swim?
Speaker 8: I can swim okay, but I wouldn't be teaching kids.
Speaker 4: Close so good?
Speaker 3: Do you know?
Speaker 1: I This is reminded me when I worked at a
Speaker 1: hospital a while ago. I had a lady that called
Speaker 1: me Bridget. She called me the wrong name and I
Speaker 1: just let it go at the start, and then it
Speaker 1: got too deep and I couldn't correct a. She came
Speaker 1: in so confidently Bridget, great to see you. Two years
Speaker 1: I let her call me Bridget.
Speaker 3: I had to quit.
Speaker 1: I couldn't just go and tell her I had to quit.
Speaker 1: Would be walking down the corna and she's like, Bridget,
Speaker 1: what up?
Speaker 3: And all my who's she talking to?
Speaker 1: And I was like, it's a long story, don't I
Speaker 1: don't have time to explain. It comes close.
Speaker 2: I'm Bridget, all right, So I'm just going to be
Speaker 2: straight from now on at the gym. Is that where
Speaker 2: we're going to land?
Speaker 3: And then that's the best.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the best Outcomefany, you need a new trainer,
Speaker 1: you know you're straight.
Speaker 2: To be honest, I really did think the head to
Speaker 2: tell Lulu lemon and quiffed hair before every training session
Speaker 2: was a dead giveaway.
Speaker 3: And the fact that you're on grinder whenever you finish
Speaker 3: your set not true.
Speaker 2: You know, I am so excited for our next guest
Speaker 2: because you know how much of a Real Housewives Oh
Speaker 2: year that I am Real Housewives of Melbourne is my
Speaker 2: favorite for.
Speaker 1: Your goal to be a real housewife.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm working. I'm working, real hard, real and
Speaker 2: a housewife. Geiniliano. If you know Housewives, you know she's
Speaker 2: the krem Dela Creme of reality contestants.
Speaker 4: I mean, this is some of her best works.
Speaker 3: I'm dealing with fat not fricktion I have in trying
Speaker 3: to reason, rationalize, or have a conversation with someone who
Speaker 3: then later recalls their demented, meshed version of what you said.
Speaker 3: When I'm sober, put the alcohol down and get some
Speaker 3: clarity back, Jane Darling. As much as I love you,
Speaker 3: I can't be bothered with you anymore. Oh she's so good.
Speaker 2: Lena.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the show.
Speaker 6: Jenna, Hi, thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the show. Well, you've recently said that your
Speaker 3: time on Real Housewives that it was.
Speaker 2: Sold destroying, soul destroying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like what happened? Why was it so terrible?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: Look, I think it was just it was game on,
Speaker 6: and it was game on from the start to the finish,
Speaker 6: and you just would not know what was going to happen.
Speaker 6: As soon as those cameras rolled, the person you were
Speaker 6: talking to five minutes before had morphed into something else.
Speaker 6: So it was quite stressful. It was really only from
Speaker 6: that perspective. But I did love it. I enjoyed it immensely.
Speaker 3: I must say, how did you feel watching it all back?
Speaker 6: I hate watching myself. Everyone feels like that. I hate
Speaker 6: watching myself or hearing myself. I'm like, oh, there's a
Speaker 6: cringe factor. So I'm my own worst crucie, I think,
Speaker 6: and I don't think anyone can say anything worse than
Speaker 6: what I'm thinking about myself as well. Everybody to it
Speaker 6: every time.
Speaker 2: Well, listen, people who've been missing Gina like I have
Speaker 2: from Real Housewives can get her in her brand new
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio exclusive podcast. It is Judge Gina. This thing is
Speaker 2: It's genius, mes Gina is I didn't even play a
Speaker 2: sound effect. Gina's doing that down the phone. She's if
Speaker 2: you didn't realize you're an actual practicing criminal barrister.
Speaker 4: I love this idea. Where did this come from? Is
Speaker 4: this something you've wanted to do for a while?
Speaker 6: So I think, well, I mean, I did a pilot
Speaker 6: with some foxtail a few years ago. I'm talking like
Speaker 6: eight years ago and that never really took off. But
Speaker 6: I think just I'm naturally gravitating to an entertainment version
Speaker 6: of what my profession is because I love entertaining love
Speaker 6: my profession, so the two go hand in hand, and
Speaker 6: I think it's a good of fun.
Speaker 1: Well, Gina, thank god you're here today because we have
Speaker 1: an issue that we need to settle in the court
Speaker 1: of the pickup.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know where this is going, but.
Speaker 1: I'm no do Laura? And please can you wait to
Speaker 1: be spoken to? We've entered the court of law.
Speaker 2: Well, can I just say, Gina, we might need your
Speaker 2: professional expertise he because there is an issue. We haven't
Speaker 2: told Laura what we're doing, but Brittany and I have
Speaker 2: a case that we like to bring towards Laura.
Speaker 4: So if there's a way that you want us to organize.
Speaker 3: This, how did I become?
Speaker 6: Who's the complainant? Who's the applicant?
Speaker 1: We Mitch Churrying myself are the plaintiffs. We would like
Speaker 1: to present our case to you now if we may
Speaker 1: have say thirty seconds, Yep, I'm going to.
Speaker 6: Give you thirty second now, Okay, Laura Burn.
Speaker 1: Has a really bad habit of never wearing shoes everywhere.
Speaker 1: She walks everywhere, and her feet are completely dirty at
Speaker 1: all times. I'm talking for us, dirt, soil in between
Speaker 1: the toes she walks in. She puts her feet onto
Speaker 1: the table. She picks up chips with it. She picks
Speaker 1: up pens with her feet, her toes and toast.
Speaker 2: I once went to the high five Laura, and instead
Speaker 2: of her hand, it was her foot. She was very sweaty,
Speaker 2: and and there was a toe crumbs that went onto
Speaker 2: my hand. Now I've got Golden staff infection and plant
Speaker 2: to water.
Speaker 1: I still have it. I still have an imprint of
Speaker 1: Laura's foot on my car door. I have it on
Speaker 1: my court car window and on my face.
Speaker 2: She makes good money, She's got children, she has no
Speaker 2: reason to not be wearing shoes. Yet she continues to
Speaker 2: come in and do this daily radio show without any shoes.
Speaker 1: She has tot fungus.
Speaker 6: What do you want to happen?
Speaker 4: I think what we what we asked?
Speaker 2: What is for Laura to wear a pair of bright
Speaker 2: pink crocs every day?
Speaker 3: I will happily wear them. I wear shoes to work,
Speaker 3: but when I'm sitting at my desk. I take them off.
Speaker 3: Why Because I'm a creative person. I find it far
Speaker 3: more comfortable to sit cross legged on my chair.
Speaker 6: Off.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it would be very rude to put dirty
Speaker 3: shoes on a chair.
Speaker 6: So I just put my clean but my dirty feet,
Speaker 6: my feet.
Speaker 1: They are not clean.
Speaker 3: I can see the dirty I can see them now
Speaker 3: clean feet.
Speaker 1: Actually there's no circulation down there.
Speaker 3: I know they're very white. I sometimes touched brit with
Speaker 3: my feet.
Speaker 2: The only have you ever high foot me?
Speaker 3: No? I've never high footed you once.
Speaker 2: You like that, So, judge, we need a verdict. Where
Speaker 2: do you stand on Britt Mitch via the foot.
Speaker 6: I think you need to wear shoes. Yes, yes, you
Speaker 6: should be wearing shoes, and I think you weak with
Speaker 6: hot pink crocs on. Will be your punishment?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no's going to the judge.
Speaker 4: That's a judge.
Speaker 3: What happens if I don't do it, You've got a prison.
Speaker 6: There will be a harsh ruling handed down to you.
Speaker 6: You can take your shoes up only when you're sitting
Speaker 6: on the chair, but otherwise hot pink crocs for a week.
Speaker 3: So I'm currently sitting on the chair and I don't
Speaker 3: have my shoes on. And I feel like this is
Speaker 3: a safe face. Gina.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. We're going to have to cut
Speaker 1: you off there because Laura is going to continue to
Speaker 1: fight her argument after the verdict has been handed down.
Speaker 2: I couldn't agree more. Genialiano, a judge Gina is available
Speaker 2: on the iHeart app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: I feature on the podcast that episode Can you do Well?
Speaker 6: Yeah you do, And Laura, there's a little story that
Speaker 6: you're attached to as well. Thank you, Genealiano, thank you,
Speaker 6: thanks for having me.
Speaker 3: Love you. You know, there's one thing that everybody hates.
Speaker 4: Oh yep, just one, just.
Speaker 3: One thing, every single person out they hates it.
Speaker 4: We can all agree, and let's all say at the
Speaker 4: same time.
Speaker 3: Sonny small talk. Oh yes, small talk. We all have
Speaker 3: to do it at different times. No one's particularly good
Speaker 3: at it, and everybody hates it.
Speaker 4: To be honest, a.
Speaker 2: Bunch of radio announces you think I'm pretty I excel
Speaker 2: with small talk.
Speaker 1: I'm great at small time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but no one likes doing it, no one. No
Speaker 3: one would put down on their resime excellent. Making small talk.
Speaker 2: Kind of gets me going. I really enjoy small talk.
Speaker 1: You guys and both, it's because she talks so much,
Speaker 1: continued Laura.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I had and look I can do it.
Speaker 3: Do I love it? Do I thrive in the environment
Speaker 3: of small talk? Probably not? But I had possibly the
Speaker 3: world's most awkward small talk. Where was it that has
Speaker 3: ever happened? So? I had my girlfriend's hen's party on
Speaker 3: the weekend, and part of that hen's party was we
Speaker 3: had a stripper in a very very small, little who
Speaker 3: by one room. We were doing karaoke.
Speaker 1: What are you doing with a stripper in a two
Speaker 1: by one?
Speaker 3: So we were in doing we were doing karaoke in
Speaker 3: a phone booth in a tiny room, toilet cubicle, Yeah, karaoke.
Speaker 3: The music goes off in he walks with the speaker
Speaker 3: and he's quite a good looking young Brazilian man, like
Speaker 3: this is probably the most attractive striper I've ever seen.
Speaker 3: And then he starts doing his thing and gets down
Speaker 3: to nothing as they do. But I mean like nothing.
Speaker 3: I was not prepared for how much of a stripping
Speaker 3: little situation we were going to.
Speaker 2: Everything was out.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she was shocked.
Speaker 3: The stripper stripped right, Yeah, but no one prepares you
Speaker 3: for what happens next. You kin'd of expect the stripping part,
Speaker 3: but no one expects for when he's finished, he turns
Speaker 3: the music off. Yeah, you're all sitting there in a
Speaker 3: quiet karaoke room and he has to just get dressed,
Speaker 3: so he's to leave.
Speaker 4: To leave, Oh, you've all just like groped him and laughed.
Speaker 3: Everyone's laughs. It's all been high energy. And then he
Speaker 3: asks for his money, so you hand him cash and.
Speaker 1: Then he's he's then transfer bro putting his.
Speaker 3: On and then he gets to get another singlet because
Speaker 3: he's ripped his singlet in half. And then you have
Speaker 3: to sit there and make small talk with the guy.
Speaker 3: And I was like, Hi, so how long have you
Speaker 3: been in Australia for? Do you buy your singlets in
Speaker 3: Bok packs?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? You're like, so what else do you
Speaker 1: do with your time?
Speaker 3: I was like, what do you do when you're not
Speaker 3: stripping on a Saturday night? He was like, I'm a carpenter.
Speaker 1: Oh we had naked.
Speaker 2: For you're getting the bus home. You'll be cold, just
Speaker 2: that g string? Can you top this small talk?
Speaker 4: This is Laurie, you made.
Speaker 2: It just just like say thanks for your service.
Speaker 3: And then sitting there in silence while he puts his
Speaker 3: clothes on, makes it seem so dirty. I was making
Speaker 3: small talk and I was trying to establish that I
Speaker 3: was a mum because I didn't want him to get
Speaker 3: the wrong idea. And I was like, I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know I have kids, and I was like, but
Speaker 3: they're not traveling yet. It was horrible.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, my deaf. What happened with your awkward
Speaker 4: small talk?
Speaker 9: Oh, it's just I just find it so awkward every
Speaker 9: time I'm getting laser done. The legs are fine when
Speaker 9: you're doing your under arms five, but as soon as
Speaker 9: you get to the Brazilian it just gets awkward. And
Speaker 9: you're like, so the weather's some good today?
Speaker 1: Always so awkward, especially for you're the butthole.
Speaker 3: Well they're there with your bum cheeks spread apart, and
Speaker 3: they're like, oh, you had a bit of a heat
Speaker 3: wave recently, have we? And you're like, why have I
Speaker 3: got hate?
Speaker 4: Rash Alina's coming? Damp and human? All right? Bianca? Hello,
Speaker 4: what happened with your awkward small talk? Was it bad?
Speaker 2: Bianca?
Speaker 5: So I was walking along, I needed to go to
Speaker 5: the bathroom, struck up a conversation with a lady and
Speaker 5: she walked into the bathroom with me, and she just
Speaker 5: kept going and I needed to go to the actual
Speaker 5: bath room.
Speaker 1: We can read between the lines, Yep.
Speaker 5: I just needed to focus and do my saying, girl's
Speaker 5: got hemorrhoids, babe, I need to focus. I need to
Speaker 5: working it right, yep. And she just kept going, and
Speaker 5: I was like, bathroom medicate, lady.
Speaker 1: Come on, nobody wanted to do that, hey, Like, why
Speaker 1: would you awk when people? I guess it's to cover
Speaker 1: the sounds, right.
Speaker 3: But nobody wants to have a chat while they're doing
Speaker 3: a poo to a stranger.
Speaker 4: Oh god, No, that's that is mortified.
Speaker 1: I could do it easily, but I am a professional
Speaker 1: at small talk, and I can multitask.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I just I open TikTok really loud and then
Speaker 2: play play, play some videos so that no one can
Speaker 2: hear the pop.
Speaker 3: No, because that's even weirder. There's nothing weirder than hearing
Speaker 3: someone listening to things on their phone a public toilet.
Speaker 1: It's better to be if there's three cubicles and there's
Speaker 1: people doing poops, it's better to have some background music playing.
Speaker 1: The dead silence and just.
Speaker 3: Plops are not that delicate, Okay, this took a really weird,
Speaker 3: weird turn. Just because you're good at small talk doesn't
Speaker 3: mean that there's areas or places that it should be done.
Speaker 3: One of them is in the toilet.
Speaker 1: Guys, there is huge news in the Bachelor world. And
Speaker 1: when I say the Bachelor world, I mean the TV
Speaker 1: show The Bachelor. Laura, you fell of your life, I
Speaker 1: got dumped on National TV. We've all been there.
Speaker 2: I've watched it.
Speaker 3: I'm familiar with the format.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, they've been trying a lot of things over
Speaker 1: the years, you know, mixing it up a little bit.
Speaker 1: There is a brand new format that I reckon is
Speaker 1: the golden ticket to The Bachelor, because let's.
Speaker 2: Be real, the ratings on that show, they haven't been
Speaker 2: incredible recently.
Speaker 3: I think it still does reasonably well overseas, but within
Speaker 3: Australia it's been struggling.
Speaker 1: Oh last year. Well in America. On the ABC, they've
Speaker 1: just announced a brand new Bachelor and they have called
Speaker 1: him the Golden Bachelor. The reason he's called the Golden
Speaker 1: Bachelor is because it's for people in their sunset years
Speaker 1: of life. It is for the older people to go
Speaker 1: and find love again. Now they've announced Grandpa Jerry Turner,
Speaker 1: who is seventy one years old.
Speaker 4: Such a grand button. Can I show you him?
Speaker 1: He's actually so handsome looking.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, he's got hearing it.
Speaker 1: He's seventy one. He married his high school sweetheart and
Speaker 1: she passed away in twenty seventeen, so they were married
Speaker 1: for forty three years. You know, he's a bloody good man.
Speaker 1: You know he loves relationships. You know, he's he's loving
Speaker 1: and caring. He's very handsome. Probably spend a little bit
Speaker 1: too much time in the solarium, but apart from that,
Speaker 1: everything's channeling Donald Trumpy vibe.
Speaker 3: But he's huge. It's just golden. I think it's the
Speaker 3: filter they're put over him. Although I would like to
Speaker 3: say that if I look like this at seventy one
Speaker 3: years old, like literally, if I look exactly like him
Speaker 3: at seventy one, I'm doing well.
Speaker 4: I'd be sold.
Speaker 1: Okay, we'll have a listen to this.
Speaker 2: He doesn't have gray hair, he has wisdom highlights. Florida
Speaker 2: wants to retire and move to him. He's Gary, and
Speaker 2: I'm your first golden Bachelor.
Speaker 3: And Gary just shuffles out with his zimmer frame.
Speaker 6: Bless him.
Speaker 2: And he's fitting yard and I just pulled my shelf
Speaker 2: and I need to be cleaned up.
Speaker 4: Please.
Speaker 1: No, guys, he's got two daughters and two granddaughters and
Speaker 1: he wants to fall in love again after mourning his
Speaker 1: we bbe.
Speaker 2: He doesn't want to fall because he's at high risk.
Speaker 3: I think this is amazing, because you know what, love
Speaker 3: is not just for the young and the beautiful. Everybody
Speaker 3: needs a bit loving.
Speaker 4: What I think this could work down? Ander?
Speaker 2: I reckon we could get like John Farnham as the
Speaker 2: Aussie Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Isn't he married? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Well, Hollywood loves that don't last Cashy, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Goshi just retired from Sunrise. Maybe he's going to the
Speaker 2: sunset of his life. He's going to be the Aussie
Speaker 2: Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 3: That's something like Russell Crowe.
Speaker 1: No, he's also in long term relationship. You guys are
Speaker 1: hopeless weaving.
Speaker 2: Doctor carl Oh.
Speaker 1: Doctor Carle, He's what about seventy five? I think he
Speaker 1: could be good. But is he married? Has anyone done
Speaker 1: their research? A few people are married. You can't just
Speaker 1: thrown back in the middle.
Speaker 3: Do you know what, even if they are married, they
Speaker 3: may be unhappily married. And Bachelor could be their new ticket.
Speaker 3: So Sunset year that they're.
Speaker 2: Instead of giving the people roses, does he just give
Speaker 2: them like cowtrait pills. They just get osteoporosis medications to thee.
Speaker 2: They get blood thinners instead of a rose.
Speaker 4: They get that little white cup full of bills. I
Speaker 4: pick you, here's your ash Brooden.
Speaker 1: Do you accept this life? Jerry?
Speaker 2: They're talking to a wall. I pick your sweetheart, Jerry.
Speaker 2: That's that's a marble mannequin.
Speaker 3: I'm going to call it no offense, Laura. I reckon
Speaker 3: this is the best Bachelor.
Speaker 1: They've ever had.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I'm not contemplating it.
Speaker 4: Though, terrible.
Speaker 3: Do you does? Everyone want to watch very close with
Speaker 3: a camera right there as seventy year old man making
Speaker 3: out with granny.
Speaker 1: They're not going to be making They're going to be pecking.
Speaker 3: Maybe they don't. I reckon that these dirty dogs get down.
Speaker 2: You're right, you know, yeah, the highest amount of comedia
Speaker 2: in Australia.
Speaker 4: I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: He's in Koala's Mitch afters because.
Speaker 2: They're all going at it and then they forget.
Speaker 4: They do it so they do it nine times a day.
Speaker 1: Don't forget they just don't care anymore.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to watch this fil This is going
Speaker 2: to be fantastic.
Speaker 1: I would love to speak to man producer Tony.
Speaker 3: Can you get him?
Speaker 1: Let me get Tony. Thank you, that was easy much
Speaker 1: But I want the golden batchelor.
Speaker 2: Just say we've got putting in mashed bananas and you
Speaker 2: rush into the studio.
Speaker 1: You stop it, Jerry, if you're listening, if you can
Speaker 1: hear me through the hearing aids, I support you, and I'm.
Speaker 2: All about this. Okay, I'm not enjoying this. I don't
Speaker 2: know what you're about to talk about, but I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm about to be ambushed.
Speaker 1: I just know it's not an ambush. But I had
Speaker 1: a really big realization on the weekend. Like you're an
Speaker 1: odd bot, right, we love it you are as you are.
Speaker 3: You are a very eccentric, loud, creative individual.
Speaker 4: Sorry, I'm not well. I'm not well.
Speaker 1: Listen, you're a unicorn and we wouldn't have it any
Speaker 1: other way. But I went to your house on the weekend.
Speaker 1: You've moved it with your parents, so I have Mark
Speaker 1: and Michelle. Yes we love them. But I finally realized
Speaker 1: why you are like you are, your dad is next level.
Speaker 1: I knock on the door. It swings open in slow motion.
Speaker 1: Your dad is standing their towering over me, and he
Speaker 1: goes hi butes And that's how we opened the door.
Speaker 1: And I haven't seen Mark in a while. And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, and I don't know why. I just
Speaker 1: hit his energy. And I started talking in an American accent.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what my dad does. He's catchphrase he has.
Speaker 2: He's a corporate, he works from home. He's a corporate.
Speaker 3: Humans have catchphrases. So that's what happens on sitcoms. Your
Speaker 3: dad is a living sitcom.
Speaker 2: Dad says everyone he walks down, you know, walking down
Speaker 2: the beach bag, Hey, hey, bitch does he called me.
Speaker 1: A bitch five times? He was just like, hey bitch,
Speaker 1: what's up? Bitch means one hundred percent. It was so funny.
Speaker 1: So I start talking in an American accent, and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, he's like a homeboy, I'm doing an
Speaker 1: American accent. We fell into our own sitcom. We fell
Speaker 1: into a skit, and no one it was an unmentioned skit.
Speaker 1: No one said let's do a skit. We started doing
Speaker 1: a skit. Anyway, We walk into the house and it
Speaker 1: is just your Your face is everywhere. It's a shrine
Speaker 1: to you. You'd think you'd passed away for your hat
Speaker 1: and you just moved back.
Speaker 3: They're very oud of you.
Speaker 4: They are.
Speaker 1: Then you know how Mitch can't concentrate on anything for
Speaker 1: like two seconds. Mark, your dad is in a very
Speaker 1: serious Zoom meeting. He's a big CEO.
Speaker 3: He was on a meeting.
Speaker 1: I could see the people. They're about twelve little people
Speaker 1: on the screen. He just gets up, get a meta borz,
Speaker 1: gets up, walks away, and I was like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: just gonna say hello and hang out with us for
Speaker 1: a while. He left the Zoom meeting to hang out
Speaker 1: with us for about twenty minutes. He invited himself on
Speaker 1: our walk. I think he only spoke in riddles and
Speaker 1: one liners. I don't think he's strung one sentence together.
Speaker 3: It was just like those people are still sitting on
Speaker 3: that Zoom meeting, wha come back redundant.
Speaker 1: They're still waiting, very very like gag gag, gag, gag
Speaker 1: gag gag. And I was trying to keep up and
Speaker 1: it was so much energy. We'd pitched ideas to each other.
Speaker 1: By the end of the day, I think we were
Speaker 1: starting businesses together.
Speaker 4: What's your point you think you can?
Speaker 1: I just understand finally where you came from and how
Speaker 1: you are who you are, because your entire family is you. Yeah, sense, yeah,
Speaker 1: well he's as crazy as you.
Speaker 2: When you left, Dad said to me that night, because
Speaker 2: obviously we went for a walk and then I came
Speaker 2: home late at night and it's like, oh, mate, Bridge
Speaker 2: today was lovely. Oh yeah, BRIT's gorgeous. She went, don't
Speaker 2: you think mate that.
Speaker 4: When we were talking? And I go yeah, He goes, well, mate, she.
Speaker 2: Was just real flirty.
Speaker 7: Hey, oh dad flirting with with sie year old man
Speaker 7: or the gay best friend.
Speaker 1: Flirtingly?
Speaker 3: Maybe you weren't supposed to match the energy. Maybe it
Speaker 3: was that you were matching the energy. He took it
Speaker 3: the wrong way.
Speaker 1: He thought, do you think I was hitting on him?
Speaker 1: He does, Mark, Sure, wash your mouth at in your
Speaker 1: wildest He goes.
Speaker 4: What she was wearing as well?
Speaker 2: Straight man, You wouldn't get it, mate, she was flirting
Speaker 2: like she was were.
Speaker 1: I had tiits onto my ankles and a jumper.
Speaker 4: He thought you were going you thought you wanted to
Speaker 4: be my mum.
Speaker 2: I shook it.
Speaker 1: To the core. Oh, yeah, I can't come home anymore, Mitch.
Speaker 3: How would you feel if I was your dad started
Speaker 3: dating and it was like mummy, mummy, Brittany.
Speaker 1: I love it about it at night, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I got me out of house and home.
Speaker 2: Oh well, ode to the churies and then on the
Speaker 2: flip side. That's how crazy they are. Then Laura on
Speaker 2: Dancing with the Stars. I come home the other night.
Speaker 2: Daddy is crying eating a cornetto watching Laura be eliminated
Speaker 2: from Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 3: Because he saw my ass on TV and thought I
Speaker 3: was flirting with him as well.
Speaker 4: I love your daddy, You.
Speaker 1: Not love you, to be clear like you Marke.
Speaker 3: We think you're fantastic.
Speaker 2: We love him.
Speaker 1: Laura's flatting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, careful, Laura, he'll get the wrong idea.