WEBVTT - TOXIC POSITIVITY - Take your good vibes and shove it 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:24.479 Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:26.360 on Part I'm Laura. 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:27.880 Have you forgotten your name? 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.000 You've had one way off and you've forgotten your name? 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:33.839 Even I had four days off. Come on and I'm Brittany. 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:36.360 Hi Brittany, and this is Life one cut. 0:00:36.479 --> 0:00:38.680 I'd just like to let you all know I'm very 0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:41.760 sorry that I wasn't there on Tuesday's episode. I was 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:44.640 one hundred percent convinced that I was going into labor. 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:46.520 Yeah, she's actually not even joking. 0:00:46.560 --> 0:00:48.479 So I walk in the door to do the record 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:51.160 at night and everything's fine. She messaged me, She's like, hey, 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:53.360 like still come up in an hour. I'm like, great, 0:00:53.440 --> 0:00:55.520 on my way. I walk in the door and you 0:00:55.520 --> 0:00:58.680 can hear the noise and Matt's face is white, like 0:00:58.720 --> 0:01:00.320 a possessed donkey. 0:01:00.360 --> 0:01:05.080 On All fours business donkey. And then we yeah, we 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:05.800 all the. 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:07.960 Three of us, and this is the relationship that it is. 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.880 The three of us thought that Laura was going into 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:12.200 labor for two hours. 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:15.440 Of course, the obvious and you know, the obvious thing 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:17.400 to do then was for me to be going into 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:20.800 labor and for Britain Matt to record a podcast. Okay, 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:23.959 so in our defense, we were like, Laura, go to 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.360 the hospital, like I think this is early signs of labor. 0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:28.399 This is not normal, And she's like, the. 0:01:28.280 --> 0:01:30.920 Podcast must go on. She's like, I'm gonna sit here 0:01:30.959 --> 0:01:34.319 and watch you whilst I'm in labor record the podcast together. 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:36.399 So for anyone who doesn't actually know what we're talking 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:40.280 about because you missed Tuesday's episode, basically, Matt, my partner, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:44.479 he and Brittany didn't ask uncut episode instead. And look, 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:47.319 I mean, I know we're making jokes about it, but like, 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:49.400 this isn't my first rodeo. It's not like this is 0:01:49.400 --> 0:01:51.360 the first time I've been pregnant. It wasn't just like 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.520 weird bracks and hicks cramps. I was getting like proper, 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:59.440 really painful contractions and I call my midwife. My midwife 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.000 was like, are you sure you don't just have gastro? 0:02:03.160 --> 0:02:06.200 There is one very important element that's missing, and that 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:08.120 is the gas part. You know, I've done it before 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:09.560 where I rocked up at the hospital and it turned 0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:12.360 out to be gas. That wasn't this, it was something else. 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:15.119 But anyway, it all kind of like subsided. After three 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:18.320 hours timing the contractions and everything, Yeah, and they were 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:20.880 like fifteen minutes apart. It was all very intense last 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:23.880 night here. But anyway, I still managed to deliver the podcast. 0:02:23.880 --> 0:02:26.519 We got you an episode out on Tuesday, and I'm 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:28.520 back and I still have a baby inside of me, 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.760 and I do not I did not go into preterm labor. 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:32.440 So we do want you to know that when we 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:34.680 do go rogue and things like that do happen and 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.799 we're out of normal scheduling, it's always for a genuinely 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.640 good reason. We don't just do it because we're lazy 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.440 and we can't be bothered to do something. It's always 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:46.040 because something. There's some sort of chaos in one of 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:48.519 our lives which does happen, and we just try to 0:02:48.560 --> 0:02:50.680 find an alternative so we can still deliver you something. 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:52.760 So that is why Tuesday's episode happened the way it did. 0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.079 We thriving chaos. So we always bring. 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.840 The goods, guys. Honestly, imagine what we could achieve if 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.000 you and I were organized. 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:05.079 That's just funny itself, isn't it. I know, I mean, 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:06.760 I know I've complained about it a little bit on 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:09.640 past episodes, but you know, strap onto your nickers, guys, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:10.880 because I'm gonna complain again. 0:03:11.040 --> 0:03:14.400 Strap onto your nickers like a pad. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.200 Strap your nickers onto yourself. I don't know, put them 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:19.400 on just whatever. Maybe there's someone out there listening to 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:21.600 this not wearing onndies right now. I bet you there is. 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.480 I bet you were going to get a DM in 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.800 about fifteen minutes. That says, yeah, I was listening to 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:26.720 this without my aunties on. 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:27.080 Okay. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.320 Anyway, second pregnancy sucks. 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.360 That's all I wanted to What's been very different for you, 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:34.240 hasn't it? Yeah? 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:36.320 Like the first time, I was such a like a. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:40.800 I was just so glowy pregnant in my little element. 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:44.200 I found everything so easier. I was still exercising. I 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:46.080 just didn't have any I didn't have any cramps, and 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.560 boobs didn't hurt, my back didn't hurt, my hips didn't hurt. 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:51.880 Yeah, you were like a beautiful supermodel mermaid. No, let's 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.320 not get to you were you were like that pregnant 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:56.480 woman that like floats, you know, the ones that don't walk, 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:57.240 They float down the street. 0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.360 Everyone's like, oh, she's so beautiful pregnant, and now I 0:03:59.400 --> 0:04:00.560 look like a that's donkey. 0:04:00.640 --> 0:04:04.800 Like I said, just everything kind of has gone a 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:07.440 little bit skew with this pregnancy, Like everything hurts a 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.720 little bit more. Everything's like, you know, it's just been 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:12.280 used its secondhand now. 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:13.040 Well the thing is. 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.839 Too when you're pregnant the first time. I mean, I'm 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:18.440 really stately obvious here. When you're pregnant the first time, 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:20.919 you weren't running around after a toddler. You had this 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:25.000 whole other aspect that didn't exist yet. So now you 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:27.200 have an extra full time job on top of everything. 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:30.159 I also didn't have the podcast then either, because we 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:32.400 kind of started that just after Mally was born. 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:35.080 This is true, so you've taken on. Your life has 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:38.400 increased exponentially. So I feel like, once we really nut 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:40.320 this out, we can see why life's crazy. 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:42.800 So anyway, that is kind of where we're at. I 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.080 still have ten weeks left with this pregnancy, Like I'm 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:48.720 thirty weeks now, with thirty one weeks. Look, who knows, 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.080 I've got to check the app. Look, we're getting closed. 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.320 But we've got ten weeks left. So last night would 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.280 have been a real disaster had it actually turned out 0:04:55.360 --> 0:04:56.599 to be pre term labor. 0:04:56.720 --> 0:04:57.320 But it wasn't. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:01.680 It was probably just gas. Speaking of pregnancy, this is 0:05:01.720 --> 0:05:03.640 like a little bit bit of weird side tangent, but 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.200 it's something that I wanted to quickly touch on on 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.920 the podcast. I saw something on Facebook the other day. 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:11.080 Dan Andrews put up a post in regards to miscarriage 0:05:11.080 --> 0:05:12.640 and like, you guys know, if you've listened to our 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:15.880 episode for a while, I did a really big well, 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:18.520 we did really big, but it was my story. I 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:21.599 guess we did a really big episode on miscarriage quite 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:25.120 a few months ago. And I read this statement that 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.880 Dan Andrews had put on Facebook two days ago and 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.160 it really really touched me, and so I want to 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:33.240 share it with you guys if you haven't seen it yet. Basically, 0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.360 what the Australian government is going to do is parents 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.880 who have experienced early pregnancy loss can now apply for 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:43.120 a commemorative certificate from birth, death and Marriages. It's a 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:45.320 small thing, but I hope it helps. And this is 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.800 the statement that Dan Andrews put out. 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.160 Propably made me cry. What I read that was. 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.560 More just about finally acknowledging that it is a big 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:56.680 loss and it is a life and it gives you 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:59.279 a way to, I guess, find some sort of closure. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:01.840 Yeah, and I think everyone deals with it differently. Like 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.880 I mean, I personally wouldn't have gone down the path 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.600 of getting a certificate or a commemorative certificate, like that's 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.000 not something that I felt like I needed. But there 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:13.919 would be so many women out there who who feel 0:06:13.960 --> 0:06:17.400 like it's just not it's not validated by anyone, you know, 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.719 there's no it's like this thing that happens to you 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:21.160 and then you just get on with your life as 0:06:21.200 --> 0:06:23.840 though it never existed. But it did exist, and it 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:26.440 was a little life, and it's just a really amazing thing. 0:06:26.480 --> 0:06:28.440 I think that like the government is taking a step 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:30.400 to say, like, women need to be recognized in this 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:33.440 suffering a women need to be recognized in their loss. 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.039 And it gives people that ability to be able to 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.080 take that step. And I just read it and it 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:39.719 really touched me. And I know that there are so 0:06:39.880 --> 0:06:42.800 many women who listen to this podcast who have experienced miscarriage, 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:44.880 because so many of you have reached out to me, 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.480 and I thought this might be something that you would 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:49.839 want to hear as well. We really are moving forward 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:52.320 in leaps and bounds, isn't It was only not even 0:06:53.000 --> 0:06:54.200 within the last two years. 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.080 Maybe we weren't even speaking about it. People were just 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:59.880 suffering on their own. They wouldn't tell friends and family. 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:02.839 There wasn't a lot out there publicly. And I feel 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:04.360 like in the last few years. 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.280 We've made it okay to talk about We've made it 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:10.240 okay to sit in your sadness and sit in your 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:12.480 loss and tell friends. And I think it used to 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.880 come from a place where you didn't want to put 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:16.720 your grief onto someone else. You didn't want someone else 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:19.080 to make you didn't want to make someone else feel uncomfortable, 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:20.480 or you didn't think that would. 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:22.720 Understand, which a lot of people won't be able to 0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:24.800 understand because they haven't been through it. I haven't been 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:26.760 through it, so I couldn't understand yours, but I could 0:07:26.760 --> 0:07:28.280 still understand loss. 0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:29.640 I can still understand pain. 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:32.600 But then it's that thing that like, they're not talking 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:34.000 about it, And this is what we got into when 0:07:34.000 --> 0:07:35.800 we did that episode. The not talking about it is 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:38.440 what breeds shame, and it's what breeds guilt, and it's 0:07:38.480 --> 0:07:40.920 what makes people think, well that it's something wrong with me. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.720 So I just thought that this was a really beautiful statement, 0:07:43.760 --> 0:07:46.360 and it's actually interesting because this has just happened as 0:07:46.360 --> 0:07:49.680 a real sort of synchronicity. Today's podcast topic that we're 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:52.720 talking about is toxic positivity. And the very first time 0:07:52.760 --> 0:07:55.400 we ever talked about toxic positivity was when we talked 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:59.080 about it in that episode. And how often people and 0:07:59.120 --> 0:08:02.000 family and friends and when you do talk about having miscarriage, 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.280 how people always say, oh, this wasn't the right one, 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.400 or you know, this baby wasn't meant for you, there 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.160 must have been something wrong with it. They try and 0:08:08.360 --> 0:08:11.760 justify your sadness or justify your loss, where really you 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:14.000 just want someone to sit in that with you or 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:16.720 let you feel through it yourself. So we're talking about 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:20.440 toxic positivity today, and yeah, we're gonna break it down. 0:08:20.440 --> 0:08:22.760 It's like a bigger topic that's well and truly outside 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:24.920 of the whole realms of miscarriage. But just that was 0:08:24.920 --> 0:08:29.000 like a really natural and organic segue, which I wasn't expecting. 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:33.600 There you go, in terms of segue, Oh god, for 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.559 it is about to tell us Tommy something outrageous. Now 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.520 speaking of like seguaying, I guess this is sort of 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.240 on parting word. 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.920 No it is, now can you segueghing somewhere? Well, yeah, 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:45.079 I think you can add I'm gonna. 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:48.160 Go segueing over here. Yeah, I'm gonna seg Yeah, I'm 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:50.080 going segwaying. Continue with your segue. 0:08:50.280 --> 0:08:52.840 No, but whilst we're talking about the whole everything to 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.200 do with pregnancy and miscarriage, fertility, I am going to 0:08:56.280 --> 0:09:00.040 share my own little journey with you guys, because I 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:02.079 love you all and you my family. And speaking of 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:07.200 trying to dissipate the shame that is associated with anything 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:11.360 to do with women trying fell pregnant or IVF for miscarriages. 0:09:10.880 --> 0:09:12.760 That's what we're here for. We want to make everyone 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:14.720 feel like you are not alone. We want to make 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:18.080 it more Okay, So I am going to take you 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:22.000 guys on my egg freezing journey. 0:09:22.320 --> 0:09:24.480 Da da da. This is when, this is when it 0:09:24.480 --> 0:09:26.560 would be really great to put the clap on like a. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.199 Sound effect on the podcast. 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:33.800 So we did the fertility episode with doctor Cherlfoi a 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:37.280 couple of weeks ago now, and I was literally hooked 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:38.000 to the episode. 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:39.000 I learned so much. 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:41.880 We had so many of your running saying how much 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:43.760 that episode helped you, how much you got from it, 0:09:43.800 --> 0:09:44.720 and we love that. 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:47.959 But the fact of the matter is I left that 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:51.040 episode I left that interview and I literally booked in 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:51.400 to do it. 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:53.880 I was like, this is something that I feel very 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:55.800 strongly about, and I felt like I had to start 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.439 the process straight away, so I did so. 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.000 I I'll just it's not gonna be a long process. 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:04.240 It's actually quite short once you get going, So it's 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:05.360 not like we're gonna be talking about this for a 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.199 long time. But I may as well tell you what 0:10:07.240 --> 0:10:09.200 it's like as it happens, so that you guys are 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:13.880 very aware. You literally go and get a referral. You 0:10:13.960 --> 0:10:15.520 go and say you want to freeze your eggs, You 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.200 go and get a referral, and they're gonna give you 0:10:17.640 --> 0:10:21.640 a referral for a blood test and an ultrasound, and 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:23.960 all that he's doing is checking your egg count and 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:26.439 your follicles. They just want to know before you even. 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:28.439 Start what level they're at. 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:30.920 So I've done that, but I haven't got my results 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:34.560 back yet. The sonographer said my follicles were great. She's like, 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:36.880 there's plenty of them, they're great. But I haven't actually 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:38.640 gone back to the doctors to get the results. 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.199 That it will be next week. But it was actually 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:43.000 quite funny. So I I. 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:48.560 Went to my ultrasound I'd booked in and it was 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.000 in the city, and it was the only day I've 0:10:51.080 --> 0:10:52.960 actually had to leave Bond in a long time that 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:55.520 I've booked something that I cannot miss. Like everything else, 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:57.240 usually I'm like, oh, I could postpone it, but this 0:10:57.360 --> 0:10:58.920 is like I couldn't. And it was the day that 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.240 my car broke down this week. I had no way 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.480 to get there. I was running really late. So my 0:11:04.559 --> 0:11:07.160 best friend Renee very kindly said, I'll take you to 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.040 the ultrasound. So she came in with me. And now, 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:12.280 because it's fertility, I didn't know this, but you get. 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:13.040 A support person. 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:14.880 It's like when you go and have an ultra sound 0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:16.480 when you're having a baby, you can have one person 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:16.880 in the room. 0:11:16.920 --> 0:11:20.280 Now. Yeah, So Renee and I walk in and they're like, oh, 0:11:20.360 --> 0:11:21.280 is this your support person? 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:24.360 So I was like, yes, yes, this is now. I've 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:26.680 got a photo, a really beautiful photo on my screen. Slave, 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.439 I'll just show you. It's me and Renee, and it looks. 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:30.520 Like can guys make a beautiful couple? 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:33.319 We look like a couple, So I'm pretty sure this 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:35.480 I'm pretrave when they thought were a couple because we're 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.080 very close. We're very touch and touchy pheely. So I 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:40.719 think I didn't realize at the time, but I think 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:42.360 they thought a couple. So then we walk into the 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:44.040 room to have the old sound, and Renee sits in 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:45.599 a corner on a chair and they're like, oh, you 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.480 don't have to be that far away, come come closer. 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.000 So she. 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:51.959 I know exactly where this is going. 0:11:52.440 --> 0:11:54.360 So Renee gets out and like comes and sits down, 0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:55.280 and she's like, oh okay. 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.120 So she comes and sits down like literally next to 0:11:58.160 --> 0:12:00.640 my tummy, like holding my hand, you know, like it's 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:01.640 a pregnancy thing. 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.280 And I'm like, cute, love this for us. 0:12:03.880 --> 0:12:05.960 She's doing the scan and everything and Renee is like 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:09.840 having gray time. Then she's like, okay, time for the internal. 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.640 So what happens is you have to get an internal 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:16.360 ultrasound to really check the follicles and count them, and 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:17.880 Renee and I just like sort of look at each 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:19.800 other and I just look at it with these eyes. 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:21.280 You know, when you're your best friend, you can talk 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:23.640 to them like you're like without words, You're like. 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:25.720 Is this cool? So like with my eyes, I'm looking 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:26.040 at her. 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:31.600 She's ultrasound tildo in front of you. Are you okay 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:33.520 with us? I'm jealous that I wasn't there. 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:39.360 You should have anary Renee sitting there. And I was like, yes, 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.240 let's do that then, and Renee's like. 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.920 She's moving this big white thing up and she's like, 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.120 I'm just gonna give She did the ultrasound and everything, 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:48.800 so then at the end she's like, we're all done. 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:50.280 I'm just going to give you guys a minute, and 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:51.559 I was like she definitely. 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:56.600 Renee's like, mate, I have gone above and beyond for 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.439 your ages. I held just sat through this while you 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.800 got an internal vaginal sound scanned. 0:13:00.840 --> 0:13:03.360 Now she thinks for a couple ribs. So my question is, 0:13:03.360 --> 0:13:05.440 did NAE leave the room while you cleaned yourself up? 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.280 Because I know what it's like when you're just coloring 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.640 loub after having an internal with ultra Sanda. 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:11.440 Were you like, oh, just look. 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.520 We're already there now, now we're already we're so far 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:18.400 past Like yeah, that's actually the funny thing was it 0:13:18.480 --> 0:13:22.080 wasn't even that unusual, like now there was felt uncomfortable. 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:23.520 We were just like, look, I just looked at it 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.319 with my wiggly eyes. I was like, is this cool? 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:26.199 She wiggled her eyes back. 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:27.720 She was like, this is cool, and we just also 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:29.800 it shouldn't be uncomfortable, Like I mean, it's not like 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:31.880 you're doing something that's sexual in there, Like it's something 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.680 that's for your own health. And what I love, Like, 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:36.240 what I get so excited about is the fact that, 0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.640 like we did that podcast on fertility and so many people. 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.160 Are now going and getting their eggs checked. It's not awkward. 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:44.440 And I was totally fine to do it on my own, 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:45.560 Like I went there to do it on my own. 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.320 Everything was planned for me to do it on my own. 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:51.360 But I have to admit, and I will say this 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.480 to anyone that's thinking about it, it was really nice 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.000 to have someone in there doing it with you, because 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.720 it's daunting and it can be sad because part of 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:00.280 you this like I can't beat I'm just walking down 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.040 this track now, and there's a part of you that's 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.439 gonna think I can't be pever have to do this, 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:05.880 especially that I have to do this on my own. 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.040 So it was really nice that I feel like it 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:10.480 was the universe's way of just like if I just 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.520 crash a car and then make a strainer for old 0:14:14.559 --> 0:14:16.079 sound and then we know a best friend or step in. 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.600 But it was, in hindsight, a really nice thing to 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.040 have someone there in the room going through the process 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:22.280 with you. 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:24.400 But isn't it just a testament that you can like 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:27.440 feel empowered and make a choice in something and be 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:30.160 like cool, I'm going to take control of my own fertility, 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.240 but then also simultaneously be allowed to feel a little 0:14:34.240 --> 0:14:36.240 bit sad or a little bit like, oh, this isn't 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:38.120 exactly what I thought I was going to be doing. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:40.800 Like you know, it's both of those feelings can live simultaneously. 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:42.920 It doesn't mean that like you shouldn't still feel empowered 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:44.960 and proud of yourself, but you're also allowed to feel 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:47.240 a little bit like, ah, all right, we're doing this 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:48.800 like cool and making some choices. 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:51.360 Well yeah, And the other thing is, you guys know, 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:54.200 for anyone that's like an og life on cart listener, 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.520 you know that we've constantly made jokes about me being 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:01.640 emotionally void and like not not feeling my many emotions. Well, 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:06.360 part of this is going off the pill. Now, I 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:08.080 have been on the pill since I was fifteen. 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.680 I had to go off the pill. It's been six weeks. 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.040 Oh my god, I have cried. 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.120 Stone cold bitch is melting, she's she's long. 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:20.600 I am like a puddle. I cry over everything. And 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:21.200 I didn't know. 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.600 I always thought I was like a low key sociopath, 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:25.360 but I just like I couldn't feel anything, but I 0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:26.520 feel everything now. 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:28.520 And you reckon that maybe being on the pill has 0:15:28.520 --> 0:15:32.200 stunted your ability to kind of like, yeah. 0:15:31.960 --> 0:15:35.480 Because your hormones go insane when you come off the pill. 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.680 Because now my body doesn't like so the first month, 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.600 this is what happens. Your hormones go a bit nuts 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.800 because they've been suppressed and they've been artificially like monitored 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:44.960 for more than half of my life. 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:46.640 Everything just feels more sensitive. 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:49.400 I will look at a child patting a dog and 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.160 I'm like, it's so cute, and I'll start crying. I 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.960 watched a Christmas watch a Christmas movie with my sister. 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:55.080 Wait until you're pregnant. 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:57.160 Well, I think it's the same thing. I think it's 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.800 like it's just this out of whack hormone. But anyway, 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:02.480 so yeah, I just cry all the time. Guys, if 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:03.720 you see me down the street crying. 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:05.960 I'm probably fine. Britnan's absolutely fine. I probably just saw 0:16:06.000 --> 0:16:06.320 a dog. 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:08.040 Do you know what, You're gonna end up dating the 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:10.040 next person, and you're gonna be like, I love this man, 0:16:10.080 --> 0:16:11.400 and we're gonna get married and spend the rest of 0:16:11.440 --> 0:16:13.200 our lives together. Because you're not going to be like 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.000 emotionally shut down and push him away after four dates. 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:17.880 Maybe you're gonna be like, holy shit, this was it. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:19.640 I just haven't been able to connect with anyone. 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:21.760 I've actually been so I've actually been in love with 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:22.920 every single person I've ever met. 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:25.600 I just didn't not realize. I just had the bloody 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:26.000 of what was it? 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:29.200 Marvel on twenty five y has been getting in the 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:32.280 way of my emotional connection. Okay, so before we jump 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:35.800 into toxic positivity, which is the topic of today, it's 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:38.880 time for our favorite part of every episode, and that 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:40.480 is accidentally unfiltered. 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:42.320 Do you want to hit it off? I will hit 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:48.800 it off? Okay. It starts with fuck my life. 0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:51.760