Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on cameragle Land.
Speaker 2: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 2: one cut. I'm Brittany and I getting throlled here.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 2: I want to high. I had a great sleep, I'm
Speaker 2: feeling good.
Speaker 1: I work up vomiting. Does that count?
Speaker 2: Okay? Well, I take everything back.
Speaker 1: We're like from the high, from the highs to the lows.
Speaker 1: I work up vomiting.
Speaker 4: And then I was mad at Matt because all I
Speaker 4: wanted was for him to like, he knew I was vomiting.
Speaker 1: He could hear it. He was downstairs, and all I
Speaker 1: wanted was for him to just.
Speaker 4: Bring me some water, but he just like he's now
Speaker 4: so used to it, it didn't even register.
Speaker 1: It just cracked on with his day.
Speaker 2: But that's the problem.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, and all I was trying.
Speaker 4: To do sorry for anyone who's like a sympathetic vomitor
Speaker 4: when they hear that noise. And then I was trying
Speaker 4: to call out to him to bring me water, but
Speaker 4: I couldn't because every time I called that, I started
Speaker 4: coughing and vomited again.
Speaker 1: I was so mad. I rate haven't calm down yet.
Speaker 2: But it's also the thing that happens. When it's it
Speaker 2: becomes like normal. It's a part of your pregnancy. You
Speaker 2: get morning sickness. Yes, I don't think that they realize
Speaker 2: how much it affects you.
Speaker 4: I wonder if other people experience it is and it's
Speaker 4: absolutely not pregnancy related, it's any type of sickness related.
Speaker 4: Does your partner have a limited time of empathy? Because
Speaker 4: I would say, and like, this is I don't want
Speaker 4: to criticize Matt because he is He's really really great,
Speaker 4: like he genuinely is. But when it comes to like
Speaker 4: prolonged sickness, god forbid anything really bad happens, he's like
Speaker 4: level of tolerance for it, like he's really good day one,
Speaker 4: day two, little bit less good, day three, gift fuck
Speaker 4: over it.
Speaker 1: Like you've been sick long enough, Now.
Speaker 3: You get three days.
Speaker 5: I reckon, I get three and a half minutes. I
Speaker 5: will criticize my partner. This is actually something that genuinely
Speaker 5: I say. It still doesn't sit comfortably with me, the
Speaker 5: lack of care when I am not feeling well. He
Speaker 5: also claims that I'm like not feeling well all the time,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, yeah, because I'm a woman, and that
Speaker 5: shit happens regularly.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My thing is is like I'll say I'm sick and
Speaker 4: be like, oh you're sick.
Speaker 1: I got ton't know, and that's his response.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I actually think i'd have to be dying. And
Speaker 5: I give him some lenience because he is.
Speaker 3: A doctor, so he does actually deal with people who
Speaker 3: have genuine emergencies.
Speaker 2: But that doesn't take away from yours.
Speaker 3: I agree, thank you, Brie.
Speaker 2: Like somebody's always going to have it worse, like in
Speaker 2: every capacity of life. That doesn't mean like you're not.
Speaker 1: Allowed to f Yeah.
Speaker 5: The amount of times he's like, have a celebrex or
Speaker 5: a panantole and let you be fine. I'm celebres sounds
Speaker 5: like a chocolate. It's a full on form of like Europe,
Speaker 5: and I think I don't actually know.
Speaker 3: I'm not he's drugging you at home, He's like, off
Speaker 3: you go to bed.
Speaker 1: I would also like.
Speaker 4: Everyone to know that this is not us endorsing any
Speaker 4: kind of medication. I was just purely curious because I
Speaker 4: don't know what it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah, brit what's it been?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: What's your time frame window?
Speaker 2: Benn is actually brilliant, but we don't live together, so
Speaker 2: it's different. But I was just trying to think about
Speaker 2: it when we're talking about it. My migraines. When I
Speaker 2: met Ben, I wasn't doing botox, and they were every day.
Speaker 2: I was in so much pain every single day, and
Speaker 2: I would ask him to, like, for the first six
Speaker 2: weeks when I went over there, I asked him to
Speaker 2: massage my neck every day. And then at the end
Speaker 2: of it, I was like, I need to stop asking
Speaker 2: him because he thinks that I'm just being super neaty.
Speaker 2: But he still would come out the next day and
Speaker 2: be like, hash next today, Do you want a next up?
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, but like, we don't live together,
Speaker 2: so I don't know what it would be like. But
Speaker 2: he's a very empathetic person. I think that he would.
Speaker 2: I think that he would always.
Speaker 4: Be like maybe if I did long distance, my husband
Speaker 4: would camel mae.
Speaker 3: Maybe you need a rub each day.
Speaker 4: Matt's new one is he'll go, oh, are You're pregnant?
Speaker 4: Anytime I say anything. It was like a wi a
Speaker 4: winge about of pregnant sy Sympton and be like, are
Speaker 4: you pregnant? I'm like, mate, you have no idea, no idea,
Speaker 4: you don't even know.
Speaker 3: I'm raging for you.
Speaker 2: Now you grow a whole human in your body.
Speaker 4: And you know what, Like I said, I'm paying him
Speaker 4: out and he'll hate this, but he is brilliant.
Speaker 1: He just has a tolerance for it.
Speaker 4: It's like he's really good day one and then it
Speaker 4: kind of slowly fades. And so this morning, whilst I
Speaker 4: was vomiting up my whole before I'd even had breakfast,
Speaker 4: I was like, fuck, man, just just bring me across
Speaker 4: the water power.
Speaker 2: Do you know something that I've just realized?
Speaker 1: Also, I love you, Matt. If you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: we all love Matt. Be better. He hasn't listened to
Speaker 1: an episode so long.
Speaker 2: What I have realized is I used to have not
Speaker 2: only my headaches, but really severe back and neck pain.
Speaker 2: And I I thought my head aches came from that.
Speaker 2: After I did Dancing with the Stars, it's gone. I
Speaker 2: don't know if it like realigned my back or if
Speaker 2: maybe Craig threw me in some position where it cracked
Speaker 2: it back into place. But I've not had one bit
Speaker 2: of back pain since I did Dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 2: and it was all I thought about every day in
Speaker 2: my life before Dancing.
Speaker 3: With the Stars.
Speaker 4: I wonder if it's fitness related or just exercise in
Speaker 4: general related, like you know, moving your body in a
Speaker 4: way that's different to how you normally move it, stretching
Speaker 4: it in ways, because I mean dancing does This is
Speaker 4: the thing about when we were training for Dancing with
Speaker 4: the Stars.
Speaker 1: You find muscles in your body you never knew exists.
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter how fit you are, you absolutely or
Speaker 4: you wake up one day and you're like, why is that?
Speaker 1: Like what is that? Where did that even come from?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: When does the show start?
Speaker 2: I think next month, But they haven't actually told us.
Speaker 2: I imagine one day I'll walk out and I'll be
Speaker 2: on the TV.
Speaker 4: But they have so soon though.
Speaker 2: I think it's supposed to be the end of June.
Speaker 2: But they literally when I say they haven't told us,
Speaker 2: I'm not faking that. They don't tell you. They decide.
Speaker 2: I think only a few weeks out then they'll let
Speaker 2: us all know. But there is publicity gearing up for it,
Speaker 2: so I imagine it's on the way, but I almost forget
Speaker 2: that I did it.
Speaker 1: Has the full cast been announced yet or is it still.
Speaker 2: It's all out?
Speaker 1: It's all out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we did all the public Yeah, I know all
Speaker 2: of that thank you staying up to date with my life.
Speaker 1: Look, guys, it is you're the biggest thing in your
Speaker 1: life is your wedding? Okay, I'm up to date.
Speaker 2: Dancing might be bigger.
Speaker 1: Well we'll see. Look you're here for asking car. Let's
Speaker 1: let's get into doing it first.
Speaker 2: Vibe someone subscribes, what is your vibe for the week.
Speaker 2: My vibe is sorry, it's for dog people. So you
Speaker 2: have to have a dog. I mean you don't have
Speaker 2: to have a dog. You could get anyway. It is
Speaker 2: actually by the brand dog. I don't know if you
Speaker 2: guys are saying Lisa is the doctor Lisa, yeah, docor Lisa.
Speaker 2: She's a bet on TV. I think she might have
Speaker 2: taken over Chris Brown on Bond. I bet like the
Speaker 2: TV show.
Speaker 4: Fantastic dog bags like Pooh bags. Yeah, they're great, little handles,
Speaker 4: thick enough. It's a really perfect it's a really great brand. Actually, yes,
Speaker 4: the dog bags. People laugh.
Speaker 2: Dog bags are important because if they're too thin, your
Speaker 2: finger's going straight through or a stick is going through
Speaker 2: and you get shot on you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 4: I agree, also knowing that no one cares if you
Speaker 4: talk about dog bags. While but like the bright fluor
Speaker 4: of green ones are too thin and they're so translucent,
Speaker 4: So you're walking around with a shit you can see
Speaker 4: in a bag, whereas at least with the black ones,
Speaker 4: like there's some sort of you just don't feel as
Speaker 4: it's discretion.
Speaker 1: You don't feel as exposed.
Speaker 4: You don't feel like like some yeah, such a street
Speaker 4: rat carrying a shit around your hand.
Speaker 2: So this is something that I heard for a while,
Speaker 2: and I rethought about it last night. I have stopped
Speaker 2: varying Delilah's food so much because the vet told me that,
Speaker 2: like just put her on the same kind of thing.
Speaker 2: So she has a mix of like this raw salmon
Speaker 2: patty and I mix it into a dry kibble every day.
Speaker 2: And I put it down last night and she just
Speaker 2: gave me this look that was like this again. And
Speaker 2: then I remembered I had this product that I used
Speaker 2: to use and for some reason I stopped using it now.
Speaker 2: It's called dog Taste Boosters, and you can get them
Speaker 2: in a beef, chicken, fish or like a variety pack
Speaker 2: of flavors. They're literally it just comes in a pack
Speaker 2: of like a hundred or something. It's a tiny capsule
Speaker 2: that looks like a panodole. You twist it open and
Speaker 2: you sprinkle the flavor over, so it just jazzes up.
Speaker 2: Or animal food. I seison it like salt bay. I
Speaker 2: see like salt bait, and she loves it. And sometimes,
Speaker 2: as she doesn't love her dry kibble, I'll put a
Speaker 2: taste booster on there. It changes the flavor for them,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden she'll gobble it up. So
Speaker 2: it's it's a really good product, and it's got really
Speaker 2: good things in it, Like it's not just a flavor,
Speaker 2: it is genuinely good for their gut.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do love this, but I also love that Delilah.
Speaker 4: She just has such high expectations that she knows that
Speaker 4: if she stands off for long enough, you will do
Speaker 4: something to boost her food.
Speaker 1: Whereas like Busters, like all right, I eat the cat
Speaker 1: food whatever.
Speaker 2: It's really good. It's got prebiotics, post biodoics and parabiotics,
Speaker 2: so it helps them. It's actually genuinely a really good
Speaker 2: thing for you. And if you need to give them medication,
Speaker 2: it's really good to hide the flavor of the medication
Speaker 2: and stuff as well. So that is we'll put the
Speaker 2: link up obviously, but that is my Vibe this Week
Speaker 2: if you want to like me, jazz up your dog's diet.
Speaker 5: My vibe this Week is one of my favorite I
Speaker 5: think I've ever brought.
Speaker 1: It is the book by Sarah.
Speaker 3: Wyn Williams called Careless People.
Speaker 5: Now I listen to it on audible, but I'm I'm
Speaker 5: sure you could get a physical copy.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 5: She was a former Facebook exec and she worked there
Speaker 5: for six years, and this whole book is unpacking the
Speaker 5: things that actually happened behind the scenes during her time
Speaker 5: at Facebook. So she finished up in twenty seventeen, so
Speaker 5: it's kind of that period of time. You remember twenty
Speaker 5: sixteen being called the Facebook Collection and that's how Donald
Speaker 5: Trump got in. She goes through what happened beforehand and
Speaker 5: kind of the ways the really insidious maneuvers that the
Speaker 5: executives in Facebook kind of didn't pull.
Speaker 3: Like I mean, the book is called.
Speaker 1: Careless People because I've always had.
Speaker 5: An impression that, you know, these things were done quite recklessly.
Speaker 5: I was still so shocked and surprised at the amount
Speaker 5: of like juvenile behavior and just lack of consideration of
Speaker 5: their power, and it was so abundantly obvious. And I
Speaker 5: know that listening to this You'll probably be like, yeah, duh,
Speaker 5: that the only thing that they cared about was power,
Speaker 5: But I didn't understand the layers to that and how
Speaker 5: bad it actually was. She also worked there, like I said,
Speaker 5: until twenty seventeen when she was fired and they fired
Speaker 5: her for poor performance and toxic behavior. But it was
Speaker 5: very coincidentally just after she launched an HR complaint against
Speaker 5: one of her bosses, called Joel Kaplan for sexual harassment,
Speaker 5: and he was a former Republican staffer. I mean, I'm
Speaker 5: kind of giving you a bit of an impression as
Speaker 5: to what went on behind the scenes. It was really
Speaker 5: shocking to hear about certain things, like this woman called
Speaker 5: Cheryl who had this movement and this book and it
Speaker 5: was all associated with like motherhood and empowerment of women.
Speaker 5: But behind the scenes it.
Speaker 1: Was the absolute polar opposite.
Speaker 5: Like when Sarah was on maternity leave for I think
Speaker 5: it might have been her second baby, she nearly died
Speaker 5: in childbirth, and she was in a coma. She was
Speaker 5: in a really bad way, and there were reports that
Speaker 5: she was difficult to contact. Yeah that time, so it
Speaker 5: was like, she's absolutely amazing. She's a Kiwi woman. She
Speaker 5: was a lawyer, before or she was a diplomat before
Speaker 5: she ended up working at Facebook.
Speaker 3: And what I thought was the most.
Speaker 5: Interesting advertising that ever could have come up about this
Speaker 5: book was the fact that Facebook tried, or Meta I
Speaker 5: should say, tried so hard to block the publication and
Speaker 5: the promotion of this book.
Speaker 1: They've also blocked her from distribution in the States of
Speaker 1: this book. Is that correct?
Speaker 5: They tried to block it, and I think they initially
Speaker 5: may have had some success, but that has been overturned
Speaker 5: so you can listen to it in America, But from
Speaker 5: what I understand, she is still blocked from promoting it,
Speaker 5: and she's also still blocked from going and speaking with
Speaker 5: lawmakers in other countries about the way that Meta actually
Speaker 5: operates behind the scenes because they don't want them to
Speaker 5: have that information and the whole book. To be honest,
Speaker 5: the start of it took me a little bit to
Speaker 5: get into.
Speaker 2: There was just a little bit of a lead up, but.
Speaker 5: Once I kind of got into chapter six or seven,
Speaker 5: I really felt like I was just humming. And it's
Speaker 5: completely changed the way that I look at certain aspects
Speaker 5: of advertising, And not that I ever thought that they
Speaker 5: were moral, I just didn't realize how immoral it was,
Speaker 5: but you remember, and maybe you didn't read it at
Speaker 5: the time, but a few years ago we spoke about
Speaker 5: like the original Facebook whistleblower from the Facebook files, frances Horgan.
Speaker 2: So she that was back in twenty twenty one. She
Speaker 2: copied tens of thousands of documents from Facebook and release
Speaker 2: them to the media. She went and spoke in front
Speaker 2: of Congress, and the same sort of thing happened to her,
Speaker 2: but hers was trying to highlight profit over safety, and
Speaker 2: we ended up having that discussion here based on the
Speaker 2: fact of Facebook meta having the information on how damaging
Speaker 2: it is to teenagers and young kids and ignoring it. Well,
Speaker 2: this was Francis. So she was like, I guess one
Speaker 2: of the original whistleblowers. And it's a shame because I
Speaker 2: feel like that shows you the power of meta and Facebook,
Speaker 2: because it's sort of people forget and even you reading
Speaker 2: that book, I've forgotten that she released thousands of documents
Speaker 2: on it. It just sort of gets buried.
Speaker 5: And also there was actually an interesting crossover with the
Speaker 5: interview that you guys did with Sean Turnell. And I
Speaker 5: know I'm going on a little bit long here, but
Speaker 5: I really was just so fascinated by different aspects of this.
Speaker 5: Sean Turnell was the guy who was imprisoned in Me
Speaker 5: and Mar for six hundred and fifty days I think
Speaker 5: it was, and he shared the most incredible story with
Speaker 5: you guys. But that was because the military coup happened
Speaker 5: and he was, you know, supporting democracy, so he was
Speaker 5: put in prison.
Speaker 3: It's really interesting understanding.
Speaker 1: The ways that Facebook got.
Speaker 5: The Internet into Me and Mar and how much control
Speaker 5: they had over what was, you know, released from those
Speaker 5: Facebook profiles of people and kind of I guess I
Speaker 5: was like, oh, this is so fascinating. I've known about
Speaker 5: the next part of what happened next, Well, it's that
Speaker 5: the military took over.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's also like how it influences politics and
Speaker 4: literally everything around us. That's what happens when you have
Speaker 4: a monopoly, and unfortunately that is what Facebook is. I mean,
Speaker 4: apart from the fact that there's TikTok now as well,
Speaker 4: but Facebook meta is a monopoly.
Speaker 1: They own everything. So the book is called Careless People.
Speaker 5: It is by Sarah Wynn Williams, and you can get it.
Speaker 5: I got it on audible or you could get the
Speaker 5: physical copy. I'm assuming for most places.
Speaker 4: I have a skincare recommendation, and it's because I have
Speaker 4: had to do this overhaul on everything that I'm using
Speaker 4: at the moment in terms of like what is pregnancy
Speaker 4: save or what is suitable for my skin? I don't know,
Speaker 4: but like since being pregnant, I'm always a dry person,
Speaker 4: but like it is like ten times worse every trap
Speaker 4: Just I'm so drag prune I am, But I really
Speaker 4: enjoy this. It's something I've actually used for a really
Speaker 4: long time, but since being pregnant, I have ramped up.
Speaker 1: It's a Willida product. I don't know if you use
Speaker 1: Willieda at all, you.
Speaker 2: Guys skin food?
Speaker 4: Yes, skin food from Willida. It's brilliant, but it's kind
Speaker 4: of a fantastic all around us. So it's like the
Speaker 4: type of product that you can use on your kids,
Speaker 4: you can use it on chap skin, you can just
Speaker 4: use it as a moisturizer. It's one of those kind
Speaker 4: of like almost like I liken it to, you know,
Speaker 4: like papaya what was the papaya cream or whatever it's
Speaker 4: called ointment? Papaya ointment? Is that what it was? The
Speaker 4: red thing that everyone got obsessed with kind of a
Speaker 4: ballet poor paw fuck, that's it my brain.
Speaker 2: That's because you're eating so requiring your pregnancy, like dreaming
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 4: Papaya, popop, papia the poor for ointment, it's kind of
Speaker 4: like I liken it to that that kind of took
Speaker 4: over as like in all everything ointment. And I think
Speaker 4: the Wiliita skin Foods is very much on par but
Speaker 4: also like I find it, probably I find it more usable.
Speaker 4: I really enjoy it, and I think that if where
Speaker 4: my skin has been at recently, it is like the
Speaker 4: most intensive version of what I need. And my makeup artist,
Speaker 4: who I use, Jen, she puts it under makeup like
Speaker 4: she absolutely swears by it as well, so I think
Speaker 4: it's a great one.
Speaker 1: It's skin foods from Willita.
Speaker 4: They also have a fantastic range for like mums and
Speaker 4: babies as well, that's separate to this.
Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying.
Speaker 4: It's Australian made and it's also all of the good
Speaker 4: stuff like ethical certified blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Question one. I'm getting married soon and feel a bit
Speaker 2: icky about my dad walking me down the aisle. I'm
Speaker 2: not a fan of the tradition of being given away
Speaker 2: from one man to another for context. I'm not super
Speaker 2: close with my dad, but we don't necessarily have a
Speaker 2: bad relationship. My parents are quite traditional. Growing up, my
Speaker 2: dad was the provider. My mom was a stay at
Speaker 2: home mom, so I really didn't have much of an
Speaker 2: emotional connection to my dad. He was always working. I
Speaker 2: know it will upset my parents if I tell them
Speaker 2: I want to walk down the aisle or by myself.
Speaker 2: So I'm not sure if I should just suck it
Speaker 2: up to keep the peace. What do you think I
Speaker 2: should do?
Speaker 1: Can you not walk down the aisle with both of them?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 4: Do you have to just walk down with your dad?
Speaker 4: If that's something that sits uncomfortably.
Speaker 2: I'm a bit confused about why you're feeling icky. Is
Speaker 2: it because you don't like the tradition or the idea
Speaker 2: of being given away? Or is it because you feel
Speaker 2: weird because your relationship is not so close with your dad,
Speaker 2: because there's like two things going on concurrently here. If
Speaker 2: it's more just that you're not that close with your
Speaker 2: dad and you were closer with your mom, I would
Speaker 2: walk down with both of them. And I don't think
Speaker 2: it means or it has to mean what it used
Speaker 2: to mean. So I'm obviously getting married soon. I'm going
Speaker 2: to walk down the aisle with my mom and my dad,
Speaker 2: and there's no part of me that sees that as
Speaker 2: my dad giving me away or my mom giving me away.
Speaker 2: I don't correlate those anymore. I know that was the tradition.
Speaker 2: But for me, I'm really close with my parents. I'm
Speaker 2: very close to my dad, and for me, I just
Speaker 2: see that as a beautiful moment to experience with my parents.
Speaker 2: But that is my perspective and the way I view it.
Speaker 2: But I think you can reframe it any way you want.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to mean what it used to mean
Speaker 2: about I've owned my daughter and now I'm giving her
Speaker 2: to you. So for me, this is what I do.
Speaker 2: I've reframed the whole idea of what a wedding is,
Speaker 2: what a wedding means. It doesn't mean to me what
Speaker 2: it traditionally does.
Speaker 4: I understand that, but I think it's tricky to kind
Speaker 4: of go down the track of being like, I've totally
Speaker 4: reframed this and therefore it means something totally different. I
Speaker 4: understand that that is what it means to you, but
Speaker 4: there's also going to be lots of people there and
Speaker 4: it means to them something else. Like weddings are traditionally
Speaker 4: rooted in culture. They're traditionally rooted in I would say,
Speaker 4: and not to get too serious, but like a very
Speaker 4: patriarchal sense of like a woman is being given away
Speaker 4: to the man, from one father to her new husband,
Speaker 4: blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: That's the tradition behind it.
Speaker 4: And so I guess for me, when I got married,
Speaker 4: I had my mom and my dad walked me down
Speaker 4: the aisle because it would have been weird for me
Speaker 4: to just have my dad walk me down the aisle
Speaker 4: because my parents are divorced. I'm not closer to my
Speaker 4: dad than I am to my mom, and equally as
Speaker 4: close to both of them, they both co parented me
Speaker 4: growing up. The thing that felt weirder to me is
Speaker 4: that I didn't have my granddad there. I always saw
Speaker 4: my granddad walking me down the aisle, my papa, and
Speaker 4: that was probably the most like devastating part of my wedding,
Speaker 4: was that he wasn't there to do that because he
Speaker 4: passed away by that.
Speaker 2: But you saw that when you pictured your granddad walking
Speaker 2: down the aisle to you, because he's important to you,
Speaker 2: not because you think he's the man that should be
Speaker 2: handing you over and giving you to another man like you.
Speaker 2: Also reframed the meaning.
Speaker 4: To be fair, though had Papa been alive, it would
Speaker 4: have caused some fucking issues in my family because and
Speaker 4: then there would have been three people, and that just
Speaker 4: logistically wouldn't work.
Speaker 1: You could hold your train like Dad called me from behind,
Speaker 1: or that was weird. Maybe mom should do Thatt's let's
Speaker 1: take that out.
Speaker 2: No, you probably shouldn't do that. I don't think anyone except.
Speaker 4: Except ah my god, I really regret I regret everything. No,
Speaker 4: But I think, look, if you feel icky about it,
Speaker 4: I would suggest both parents. I don't think that that's weird.
Speaker 4: I think it's so normal now to have both parents.
Speaker 4: But if what you're actually saying is that you don't
Speaker 4: want anyone because you just don't believe in the tradition
Speaker 4: and you want something completely different, then I think that's
Speaker 4: okay and have that conversation with them. But I definitely
Speaker 4: don't think that you need to have the version of
Speaker 4: a super traditional wedding because clearly it means to you
Speaker 4: what it means to you, and that's why you feel
Speaker 4: uncomfortable about it. But yeah, I do agree with you,
Speaker 4: Britt that, like there's a lot of reframing that's going
Speaker 4: on around weddings at the moment, around like what a
Speaker 4: wedding means to someone, what a marriage means to someone.
Speaker 4: But I think if you have been brought up in
Speaker 4: a traditional sense, then it still has the original meaning.
Speaker 4: And so you know, if you've been brought up Christian
Speaker 4: or Catholic or in a traditional family, even if you're
Speaker 4: trying to rewrite those meanings, the fact that your parents
Speaker 4: believe in it for what it is makes it really
Speaker 4: hard for you to say, well, this means something else
Speaker 4: to me, and that's why I'm doing this.
Speaker 1: But this is all pressure.
Speaker 2: It's also how we change history. It's also how we
Speaker 2: rewrite the patriarchy. This is it, this is it by
Speaker 2: doing it and saying it doesn't mean this anymore. I'm
Speaker 2: doing it my way because in five or ten years
Speaker 2: this will be normal. No one will even remember what
Speaker 2: it was. Of course, in your religion, if you were
Speaker 2: deeply embedded in that, it's always going to have those
Speaker 2: meanings and people want it to have those meanings. Also, fine,
Speaker 2: like I'm not here to yuck anyone else's youm.
Speaker 1: The world has changed quite a bit.
Speaker 4: The problem is, though it is like, and I do
Speaker 4: what you said Britt about this idea that like, this
Speaker 4: is your moment to change the blank merriage, your moment,
Speaker 4: this is your moment take about the balls. I guess
Speaker 4: the thing is, though that sounds great in theory, but
Speaker 4: when it's your parents and you have to deal with
Speaker 4: the drama of your parents, and you have to deal
Speaker 4: with their backlash, their feelings have hurt, their feelings of
Speaker 4: guilt tripping and all of that, especially when they have
Speaker 4: a perception about what your wedding should be, it's really
Speaker 4: really hard.
Speaker 1: And I don't want to discredit that.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: It's something that a lot of people have to navigate,
Speaker 4: is the family politics around weddings. It's a constant, constant
Speaker 4: question that we receive, and I think you have to
Speaker 4: be able to play it by ear, and I think
Speaker 4: the only way to answer this question is to sum
Speaker 4: it up yourself. Is this going to be so much
Speaker 4: drama that it's not like the juice is not worth
Speaker 4: the squeeze, in which case then I would say, make
Speaker 4: the decision to walk down the aisle with your dad.
Speaker 4: If it's going to be something that you can't live
Speaker 4: with because you're like, I absolutely do not want him
Speaker 4: walking me down the aisle. Then maybe explore the idea
Speaker 4: of it being both your parents or no one. But
Speaker 4: I think only you can make a decision that's best
Speaker 4: for you based on the drama that's going to.
Speaker 1: Follow from this.
Speaker 4: And that's a really shitty situation to be in, but
Speaker 4: it is not uncommon, and weddings and marriages create a
Speaker 4: lot of this sort of family dynamic rift.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I don't get the impression that it's anything
Speaker 2: about religion as such. You said they're traditional, but I
Speaker 2: think it's more you've said your parents would be upset
Speaker 2: if you wanted to walk down by yourself. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: totally understand that, Like, it's a really special time to
Speaker 2: your parents as well to watch their child go through
Speaker 2: that moment. Me wanting both of my parents there is
Speaker 2: because it is one of my biggest moments in my
Speaker 2: life and I want them to experience that moment with me.
Speaker 2: It doesn't go further than that. I just think, who,
Speaker 2: why would I want anyone else next to me? And
Speaker 2: I also don't want to be by myself. But I
Speaker 2: think if you do go down the track of explaining
Speaker 2: to your parents that you want to go down by yourself.
Speaker 2: My suggestion is to really explain why generally hear them out,
Speaker 2: but also give them another job. And I don't want
Speaker 2: to say a job, but something else that makes them
Speaker 2: feel really connected and special within the wedding.
Speaker 1: So I get that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, just give them something else so they feel
Speaker 2: like it's a big part of their day. They've watched
Speaker 2: you grow up your entire life, and I think sometimes
Speaker 2: we forget how much these moments mean to our parents.
Speaker 2: But I think it's just a conversation. You don't want
Speaker 2: to look back at your wedding if you actually have
Speaker 2: the ick, which you've said, I feel a bittcky. I
Speaker 2: don't want to say the ick, but if you do
Speaker 2: deeply feel that, you don't want to look back at
Speaker 2: your wedding and think back to that moment and have
Speaker 2: those feelings attached. So just work out how much it
Speaker 2: is actually putting you off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I understand. I understand why there would be
Speaker 4: some parents who are sad by this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 4: And I say this because you know, if Molly was
Speaker 4: getting married and she just turned around and said, like, actually,
Speaker 4: I don't want either of you to walk down the aisle.
Speaker 4: I would absolutely respect it that there would be a
Speaker 4: little part of me that would be like, Oh, I
Speaker 4: really wanted to do that with you, you know, I
Speaker 4: really wanted to share that moment with you, not because
Speaker 4: it was making it about me, but because it's something
Speaker 4: that feels really special that a parent gets to do
Speaker 4: with their kid. And I don't want to make a
Speaker 4: gend at it could be either parent, But there's something
Speaker 4: really I don't know. I think I didn't really really
Speaker 4: think about like how important the wedding would be to
Speaker 4: my parents and what it meant for them. I hadn't
Speaker 4: really thought about it at all. But when I put
Speaker 4: myself in that position as a parent and watching my
Speaker 4: kids get married one day, if they choose to like,
Speaker 4: that's something that's really cool, Like you've made it through
Speaker 4: all this phase of life, They've met someone who they love,
Speaker 4: who hopefully is going to mutually take care of them,
Speaker 4: and it would be so nice to be involved in
Speaker 4: that in some way.
Speaker 5: I just wonder if, like for a lot of people,
Speaker 5: I think that there is a little bit of a
Speaker 5: deep seated and I might be projecting a little bit
Speaker 5: of resentment for certain ways that their parents were involved
Speaker 5: in their life.
Speaker 1: And if you've felt that.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like, a, I don't I just don't
Speaker 3: want to really have that. I don't really want to
Speaker 3: have that moment.
Speaker 5: And so I would understand if you end up just going, oh,
Speaker 5: I just want to walk down by myself, because I
Speaker 5: just don't want to have to deal with the complexity
Speaker 5: of pretending like we're this really close, you know, family,
Speaker 5: when we're not. Like, I just want to enjoy my
Speaker 5: wedding day as my wedding day, even if there's not
Speaker 5: something that's been particularly bad. You don't have to have
Speaker 5: your parents do that, you know, you don't owe them
Speaker 5: that necessarily. And I just think it's more about the
Speaker 5: authenticity of having that person next to.
Speaker 3: You, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Like, if you're not close, Yes, that can feel weird,
Speaker 5: and that can feel like you're like, oh, I'm kind
Speaker 5: of pretending like we're all happy families.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm keeping up for the Jones.
Speaker 5: Yes, that's what I want you to unpack, whether you're
Speaker 5: going to feel that way, because if you are, I
Speaker 5: wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, question number two my partner has just left
Speaker 4: for five months to be trained in his soon to
Speaker 4: be career. I was obviously very sad that he was going,
Speaker 4: but proud of him. The week before he left, I
Speaker 4: noticed that he was acting a little bit strange and
Speaker 4: constantly texting somebody. I've never had an issue with this before,
Speaker 4: as my partner is so loyal and so loving. When
Speaker 4: I was looking at something on his phone, a girl's
Speaker 4: name popped up, and when I asked him about it,
Speaker 4: he never said her name, just said, it's the guys,
Speaker 4: quote unquote. It was a message from her about said training.
Speaker 4: So I had a look and found messages back and
Speaker 4: forth about how excited they are to see each other
Speaker 4: down at the training.
Speaker 1: Something didn't feel right.
Speaker 4: We had a conversation about how this made me feel,
Speaker 4: and I was still left feeling weird about it. All
Speaker 4: the day before he left, every time I looked at
Speaker 4: his phone, he was talking to her and flicking his
Speaker 4: screen up, so the messages went away. I asked him
Speaker 4: if he could not be so chatty with this girl,
Speaker 4: and that I didn't like it, as they were about
Speaker 4: to be spending months and months together and having very
Speaker 4: limited communication with me.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing you might be like in the army or something.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking it's got to be something army.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Should I bring this up again with him about how
Speaker 4: it makes me feel and that I would like for
Speaker 4: it to end. I want him to make new f
Speaker 4: and focus on his training, but I can't stop thinking
Speaker 4: about this situation. I don't want to be constantly worried
Speaker 4: about this for four to five months.
Speaker 1: Yuck.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't think this is going to end well,
Speaker 2: I hate I mean it might, I of course it might,
Speaker 2: but like sorry, no, actually no, he's not being honest
Speaker 2: with you. He's flicking away messages, he's lying about who's messaging,
Speaker 2: and you've seen that he said he's excited to see
Speaker 2: another girl. This isn't a weekend training camp. This is
Speaker 2: like half a years, like five months. I would be
Speaker 2: so uncomfortable with this, Like you are so valid in
Speaker 2: feeling uncomfortable about your partner going away with someone who's
Speaker 2: been lying about and he's excited to spend five months.
Speaker 4: With Also, look, this is a time when he should
Speaker 4: be giving you so much reassurance, like you're about to
Speaker 4: go and do long distance. He's pursuing his career goals.
Speaker 4: You're supporting him in that you are going to not
Speaker 4: be able to contact him as much as normal. It
Speaker 4: is crazy to me that this period of time he
Speaker 4: is not putting his time, energy and focus into ensuring
Speaker 4: that your relationship ship is set up in the most
Speaker 4: stable way so that you both feel completely confident going
Speaker 4: into it. He's making an active choice to be so
Speaker 4: available to this person. And the fact that he's not
Speaker 4: being transparent with his phone, the fact that he said
Speaker 4: it's the guys when it's not the guys.
Speaker 1: I want to validate how you're feeling as well. I
Speaker 1: would be feeling exactly the same.
Speaker 4: The problem is is I don't have a solution for
Speaker 4: you because I'm not at a point where I'm going
Speaker 4: to say break up with him because it might not
Speaker 4: be the case right Like it might be that everything
Speaker 4: works out to be fine in the five or six
Speaker 4: months when he comes home.
Speaker 2: But I'll also never know what happened there. You've got
Speaker 2: to be okay with that and just trusting him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have to have an immense amount of trust
Speaker 4: that this next few months you were kind of in
Speaker 4: relationship purgatory and you're opting for that purgatory as well.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's too harsh.
Speaker 4: Your relationship is not going to be able to progress
Speaker 4: at the same rate that it was progressing because right
Speaker 4: now he's prioritizing work goals. I'm not saying that you
Speaker 4: should break up with him. I'm not saying that you
Speaker 4: should not be monogamous or any of those things. But
Speaker 4: I do think you need to assess how insane this
Speaker 4: is going to make you feel over the next couple
Speaker 4: of months, because if this is something that you're not
Speaker 4: going to be able to be okay with, five to
Speaker 4: six months is a really long time to be paranoid, Like,
Speaker 4: it's a really, really, really long time for you to
Speaker 4: live in this state of feeling hyper vigilant, hyper anxious,
Speaker 4: and unsure about what he's doing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and obviously, like I you know, I don't have
Speaker 2: a problem with long distance. I just shire four months
Speaker 2: the last time I saw Ben, Like, there is a
Speaker 2: long time that we would just online. So I'm all
Speaker 2: about it. But that works because I don't have anything
Speaker 2: any uncomfortable feelings. I trust him, I'm not unsure about it.
Speaker 2: Like you said, you've got these off feelings, you think
Speaker 2: something's not right. This is where it's different. The other
Speaker 2: part is there's nothing that you can do. Like you said,
Speaker 2: I wanted to end. Can I tell him I wanted
Speaker 2: to end?
Speaker 1: You can't.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I can guarantee you if you say that to him,
Speaker 2: it will push him away, probably push him closer to her,
Speaker 2: like if you put those limits and say you can't
Speaker 2: be friends with his person.
Speaker 4: The thing is he's already gone, and he's at this
Speaker 4: training camp, and he's going to be gone for the
Speaker 4: next four to five months.
Speaker 2: I think he needs to just have another conversation with
Speaker 2: him about how you feel, and he needs to Like
Speaker 2: you said, Laura, he should have already been doing it,
Speaker 2: but he needs to be turning up tenfold making you
Speaker 2: feel so so secure. And if he's not, I would
Speaker 2: be asking myself if I'm comfortable in that situation, because
Speaker 2: there is no worse feeling, And I feel like probably
Speaker 2: everyone listening has been in this situation at some point,
Speaker 2: that sick, anxious feeling that lingers with you constantly when
Speaker 2: you don't trust your partner or something is up, and
Speaker 2: there is nothing worse for you to spend the next
Speaker 2: half a year feeling like that, driving yourself crazy. What
Speaker 2: is he doing hang on. He hasn't message back in
Speaker 2: this long is he with her? You know he's with her.
Speaker 2: He's on a training camp with her, like, not necessarily
Speaker 2: with her, but I mean, you know they're there. They're
Speaker 2: excited to see each other. They obviously have some sort
Speaker 2: of a friendship. It could be extremely platonic, which is
Speaker 2: so fine, but it's the secrecy that it was shrouded
Speaker 2: in before he left. I barre yeah, not wanting to
Speaker 2: not saying who it was, not letting.
Speaker 3: You see it.
Speaker 2: And you're in a really tricky spot now because he's gone.
Speaker 2: I would have pushed the conversation a bit more before
Speaker 2: he left and asked for some transparency, maybe asked to
Speaker 2: see some of the messages because you feel so uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: ask for some reassurance. But he's gone now, so it's
Speaker 2: like you have to decide what you're comfortable with.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And the only other thing I want to add
Speaker 4: to this is I do think you will continue to
Speaker 4: get indications throughout the next couple of months, because you're
Speaker 4: gonna know if he's pulling away in the way he
Speaker 4: communicates with you.
Speaker 1: You're gonna know if there's signs that something's not right.
Speaker 4: I know you've said that you won't be able to
Speaker 4: communicate as frequently as what you normally do, but that
Speaker 4: doesn't mean that that communication would be any different than
Speaker 4: what it would be if you know, if it was
Speaker 4: actually to be fair, if you're able to only communicate less,
Speaker 4: he would be giving you more.
Speaker 1: I miss you so much, Oh my god.
Speaker 4: You know like anytime he has the ability to message you,
Speaker 4: he would be taking that chance. And you will be
Speaker 4: able to tell if something has shifted, like you will
Speaker 4: feel it in your bones. You'll have all of the
Speaker 4: red flags, the warning signs, and I just think like
Speaker 4: you've already had red flags. Really be I don't want
Speaker 4: you to be hypervigilant, but I just don't want you
Speaker 4: to discard them when they come along, or if they
Speaker 4: come along. And I guess like, ultimately you're on pause
Speaker 4: for four to five months. You're not going to do
Speaker 4: anything in this timeframe. Focus on yourself, focus on your friendships,
Speaker 4: focus on the things that make you happy outside of
Speaker 4: your relationship, and then make an assessment once he's able
Speaker 4: to be back. I think that that's the only thing
Speaker 4: you can do, because breaking up feels way too drastic
Speaker 4: at this point.
Speaker 2: I also wonder how long they've been together, Like I
Speaker 2: wonder if it's quite new and I don't know and
Speaker 2: you have you know, you don't have that deep, deep
Speaker 2: seated trust yet, or I wonder if you've been together
Speaker 2: five years and you decided to do another career, like,
Speaker 2: because I do think that matters. I think, yeah, I
Speaker 2: think how well long you've been with someone, if you're
Speaker 2: living with them, like you're living situation, have you had
Speaker 2: issues in the past. There's a lot of things that
Speaker 2: come into account when you consider what to do here.
Speaker 2: And if you're in a very new relationship and this
Speaker 2: is happening, get out, I'd be considering.
Speaker 3: I would be.
Speaker 4: But the thing is with a lot relationship, where it's
Speaker 4: different is that you really notice behavior changes in a
Speaker 4: long term relationship. Like if Matt all of a sudden
Speaker 4: was always on his phone and not showing me who
Speaker 4: he was messaging. I mean that did actually happen at
Speaker 4: the start when he started his podcast with Ash, he.
Speaker 1: Was fucking messaging that man.
Speaker 2: And also Ash isn't it's name?
Speaker 4: All hours of the day He'd like get a phone
Speaker 4: call and he'd be so let up, and I'd be like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, you're talking to ash Am, I jealous
Speaker 4: of the male podcast host that you have.
Speaker 1: Who's also married with who's also married and has children.
Speaker 1: I think I am.
Speaker 4: But the thing is is, like you notice behavior changes,
Speaker 4: like I noticed that and Matt instantly. Obviously I wasn't
Speaker 4: jealous about it, but like, it's not something that someone
Speaker 4: can hide. When you've been in a long term relationship,
Speaker 4: you see when they're on their phone more.
Speaker 2: And it's also in a long term relationship, it's easier
Speaker 2: to say, look, I feel uncomfortable. Can you show me
Speaker 2: those messages? And almost everyone would say yes if it
Speaker 2: was fine. It's harder to have that conversation where you've
Speaker 2: just met someone because you're like, wholl bro, like this
Speaker 2: is my privacy. Like you know, if you're in a
Speaker 2: very early relationship, you can't just go up to someone
Speaker 2: and say show me your phone, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? It just hits a bit different when it's
Speaker 2: like super early days.
Speaker 4: I find this next one really quite tricky to answer. Recently,
Speaker 4: we had some questions from a woman who was pregnant
Speaker 4: and her friends weren't showing enough effort and weren't showing
Speaker 4: enough interest in her pregnancy. This is the flip side
Speaker 4: of that. What about for friends who don't have kids?
Speaker 4: For example, my mum friend is now on baby number three,
Speaker 4: which spans over five years, and we've been friends for
Speaker 4: ten plus years. She's been to my house once in
Speaker 4: that time. It's not for lack of trying, but it's
Speaker 4: always on her terms. I understand moms are busy, but
Speaker 4: where do you draw the line and expect your friend
Speaker 4: to put in more effort too. It's always at her
Speaker 4: house or on her terms because that's what works for
Speaker 4: her and for her kids. But is it unrealistic to
Speaker 4: expect them to put in the effort to see you
Speaker 4: and to always spend time together away from kids. General
Speaker 4: thoughts appreciated.
Speaker 2: This is interesting because there is a truth to it.
Speaker 2: That doesn't mean it makes you feel good, but it
Speaker 2: is the hard truth. The hard truth is people with
Speaker 2: children are very, very busy. Their life is ten times harder.
Speaker 2: They can't just spontaneously say hey, I'm going to pack
Speaker 2: up the three kids and pop over to your house.
Speaker 2: It doesn't work like that. Of course, it's not rocket
Speaker 2: science to say if you want to catch up, hey,
Speaker 2: do you want to like if you are child free, hey,
Speaker 2: do you want to just pop over after work or
Speaker 2: have a drink the kids can play or watch TV.
Speaker 2: Like that is just going to make sense. Always having
Speaker 2: said that, I get it. You are not the priority.
Speaker 2: You never will be, And that is a really hard truth,
Speaker 2: but it is.
Speaker 1: The truth of it.
Speaker 2: Like if you go down the priority line in a
Speaker 2: friend relationship, especially if you don't have kids, because obviously
Speaker 2: it's easier to meet up with kids as well, they
Speaker 2: can play at the park or whatever. You notice things
Speaker 2: a lot more when you don't have children and you
Speaker 2: hang out with people that do have children. Even if
Speaker 2: you say, hey, I'll meet you at the park and
Speaker 2: hang out, You're never going to have your friend's full attention.
Speaker 2: She's making sure don't get hit by a car. She's
Speaker 2: making sure they're not pushing each over or falling down
Speaker 2: the park or whatever it is. It's like, it is
Speaker 2: just the way of the world. It is unreasonable to
Speaker 2: expect your friend to give you a ludicrous amount of attention.
Speaker 2: But I want to validate how you're feeling, Like every
Speaker 2: one of my friends almost has children. I've been in
Speaker 2: that situation and I'm nearly thirty eight years old. So
Speaker 2: it's not like I mean in my twenties, like I've
Speaker 2: been around it a long time. I have friends that
Speaker 2: have kids that are eighteen, and I have friends that
Speaker 2: have kids that are babies. It sucks because you're never
Speaker 2: going to probably feel that level of love and attention
Speaker 2: from those people in your life. But it is pretty
Speaker 2: unrealistic to expect them to consistently drop everything.
Speaker 1: I think the thing is, though, she's not asking for
Speaker 1: something that's unrealistic.
Speaker 4: She's saying in five years, her friend who now has
Speaker 4: three children, has been to her house once in that time,
Speaker 4: and that whenever they catch up, it's always on the
Speaker 4: mum's terms. And also it's always at her house, so
Speaker 4: it's always the effort is being It's a one way
Speaker 4: effort that's being made.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that I'm thinking of all the
Speaker 2: people in my life with kids. That's how it is.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I look, I think to answer this in a perfect world,
Speaker 4: and I know that there's going to be people who
Speaker 4: hate this answer because I hate this answer.
Speaker 1: I hate it.
Speaker 4: In a perfect world, I want to say, friendships are
Speaker 4: two way streets and they should be mutual, and your
Speaker 4: friend should have shown up more than once in five
Speaker 4: years to your house. I do think that I genuinely
Speaker 4: do like that to me seems like a totally imbalanced friendship.
Speaker 4: I also know that I have friendships like that unfortunately,
Speaker 4: where especially now that I'm pregnant and I've got two
Speaker 4: kids and I'm working, I know that there are friends
Speaker 4: in my life, and I actually reading this, I was like, fuck,
Speaker 4: that could be for one of my friends where they've
Speaker 4: come to my house and it's just because it is
Speaker 4: so much easier for me.
Speaker 1: And I know that that's not fair.
Speaker 4: I know it's absolutely so selfish to think that everybody
Speaker 4: else's lives should bend to what is easier for me
Speaker 4: and for my life.
Speaker 1: I don't expect that either.
Speaker 4: If if a friend turned around and said, oh, actually
Speaker 4: it's not convenient for me to come to your house,
Speaker 4: it's not like.
Speaker 1: I'm then offended by it.
Speaker 4: But it's just if I have the kids otherwise, if
Speaker 4: it's the problem, is is like otherwise I have to
Speaker 4: organize a babysitter, or I have to get Matt to
Speaker 4: take the kids, which is absolutely fine, he will do
Speaker 4: that sometimes, but that's also me forfeiting the only time
Speaker 4: that I might get time to myself, or I might
Speaker 4: need it to do something else, to go and have
Speaker 4: this friend catch up, and so like a lot of
Speaker 4: organization needs to go into that because I need to
Speaker 4: be like, hey Matt on Saturday, you've got the kids,
Speaker 4: because I'm going to go and have a coffee with
Speaker 4: brit at this time. And people who don't have kids
Speaker 4: can often be a lot more spontaneous with their schedules.
Speaker 4: Like the amount of times that you guys have been like,
Speaker 4: hey Laura, We're at Blackwood, We're having breakfast, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: fucking loll.
Speaker 1: Not sponsored good lie, good luck.
Speaker 4: Me ever being able to get to that, you know, annually. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I know that the dynamics and friendships can become really imbalanced.
Speaker 4: And in no way am I saying that I think
Speaker 4: it's okay. I'm saying I relate to it, that's all.
Speaker 4: And when you think about the difference between a single
Speaker 4: person getting themselves ready to go to a hangout or
Speaker 4: a meetup or a catch up or whatever it is,
Speaker 4: it's like they get themselves dressed, they get in the car,
Speaker 4: they go.
Speaker 1: It's like zer point eight to pin b is so linear.
Speaker 4: A mom has to get herself ready, get the kids ready,
Speaker 4: pack snacks, pack, a drink bottle, pack a fucking change
Speaker 4: of clothes.
Speaker 2: I mean, I have to pack snacks and drink bottle
Speaker 2: for myself.
Speaker 4: But there's it's just there's so many more pieces to
Speaker 4: the process, and I think for a lot of people
Speaker 4: who are already overwhelmed, it just then becomes too hard
Speaker 4: and the friendships change, the dynamics change, and it is
Speaker 4: this constant conversation as to why a lot of people
Speaker 4: are not able to sustain friendships when life situations are
Speaker 4: in such different points.
Speaker 2: I do think it's important that you still try to
Speaker 2: have those catch ups without the kids. And I don't
Speaker 2: know what that looks like for your friend. It also
Speaker 2: depends if she has a partner, does she have the
Speaker 2: resources to get a babysitter, Like you've got to think
Speaker 2: they're paying three hours for someone to come and look
Speaker 2: after the baby. There's a lot going on. But I
Speaker 2: think there are ways that you can try and have
Speaker 2: that catch up, and maybe you try and like we
Speaker 2: had this conversation last year with Elizabeth Day about saying,
Speaker 2: you have to put in effort with your friendships as
Speaker 2: an adult, and you have to put it in your diary.
Speaker 2: So maybe you say to your friend, Hey, I would
Speaker 2: really love to try once a month have a date
Speaker 2: night with you, like, let's catch up. If you think
Speaker 2: it's an option to leave the kids at home, like,
Speaker 2: can we do it? If nights are not okay, you
Speaker 2: can do a lunch or whatever it is. I think
Speaker 2: if you structure it and make it a plan and
Speaker 2: you put it in your diary and every four weeks
Speaker 2: you do it, then maybe that is what is best.
Speaker 2: And I'm not trying to void your feelings. They are
Speaker 2: completely accurate, but you do have to put yourself in
Speaker 2: other people's shoes sometimes and realize how much harder it
Speaker 2: is for them.
Speaker 4: I totally agree with you, Britt, and I think it's
Speaker 4: when a catch up plan is not set in stone
Speaker 4: and it seems like to be spontaneously based around a weekend.
Speaker 4: So for me, when the friendships that I know that
Speaker 4: this is the most dominant in, it's when they've said
Speaker 4: to me, hey, do you want to catch up on Saturday?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, sure, I can catch up on Saturday.
Speaker 4: No plan was put in place, no structure was put
Speaker 4: in place, and that's fine. For someone who doesn't have kids.
Speaker 4: You don't need plan, you don't need structure, And I
Speaker 4: don't say that to be dismissive. I say that as
Speaker 4: someone who for a long time didn't have kids and
Speaker 4: could easily be like plans on a Saturday. So long
Speaker 4: as I know the general time around, is it daytime
Speaker 4: or night time, I can make that work. The difference
Speaker 4: when you have kids is you need to know the
Speaker 4: when and you need to know the where because you
Speaker 4: need to be organized. So I have an amazing group
Speaker 4: of girlfriends as five of us, and we only do
Speaker 4: dinner catch ups right, like we'll put it in the
Speaker 4: calendar for three weeks time, and we know the date,
Speaker 4: we know the time.
Speaker 1: I know I'm not coming to that with my kids.
Speaker 4: Like that is absolute me time and it's scheduled and
Speaker 4: it's planned. So I think sometimes with those types of
Speaker 4: friendships we have to be really purposeful, and I don't
Speaker 4: think all of.
Speaker 1: Our friends offer us that.
Speaker 4: I think a lot of friends want the flexibility, so
Speaker 4: they're not putting things into schedules or calendars or it
Speaker 4: could be a work friend. So you see them heaps,
Speaker 4: so you're like, oh, we'll do something on the weekend,
Speaker 4: but there's not actually a plan put in place, and
Speaker 4: I know for me that for the friendships who actively
Speaker 4: do that and are happy to put shit in calendars,
Speaker 4: I have one on one time with them. For the
Speaker 4: friends who don't put stuff in calendars, I only see
Speaker 4: them with my kids, and that's because I can't rally
Speaker 4: myself fast enough to be ab to do stuff for
Speaker 4: them and with them where my kids are just not
Speaker 4: a part of it.
Speaker 2: No, Kisha and I sometimes will message each other at
Speaker 2: like five point thirty and be like, Hey.
Speaker 3: It's sad that none of us ever have bad but
Speaker 3: we'll be.
Speaker 2: Like, do you want to get dinner at six? Like
Speaker 2: that is the turnaround we have because we don't have lives.
Speaker 3: No, but it's not that you don't have guys.
Speaker 1: But the thing is is like responsibility. It you sassaged
Speaker 1: me that which you do.
Speaker 5: Sometimes I always ask you do I never want you
Speaker 5: to feel as though you're not welcome. I never want
Speaker 5: you to see it on social media and be like, oh,
Speaker 5: they could have asked if I wanted to go. But
Speaker 5: it is a balance because I don't want you to
Speaker 5: feel guilt about not being able to come, and I
Speaker 5: also don't want you to be like, yeah, guys, I
Speaker 5: physically could make it, but I've got.
Speaker 3: Better priorities, and those priorities in my family time.
Speaker 4: But also the flip side of that is is like
Speaker 4: there's definitely been times where I can come, but like
Speaker 4: I'm not going to drag two kids to dinner at
Speaker 4: six o'clock and then and then it changes your experience,
Speaker 4: Like then it turns into like dinner with kids, which
Speaker 4: is annoying for people who just want to catch up
Speaker 4: with their friends, you know, I know, but it's a
Speaker 4: totally intent experience. And like, all I want to say
Speaker 4: is is that I absolutely validate this question because I
Speaker 4: know how unfair it is, and I hate that in
Speaker 4: a lot of my friendships, I'm your friend, Like I
Speaker 4: hate that I'm that person I would have prior to
Speaker 4: having kids said like that's shit. They don't put in
Speaker 4: the effort, Like they're being selfish just because they have children.
Speaker 4: They still need to try as hard. And part of
Speaker 4: me still feels that. But I do know that I
Speaker 4: really struggle with it. I struggle with it so much,
Speaker 4: and I know that there's other moms out there who
Speaker 4: would struggle in the same way. So I don't think
Speaker 4: anyone would look at this question and be happy with
Speaker 4: the outcome that you're experiencing, but I think there'll be
Speaker 4: a lot of people that relate to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And the last thing I want to say is
Speaker 2: where do you draw the line and expect your friend
Speaker 2: to put in effort to I think you draw the
Speaker 2: line when if you have tried to put the once
Speaker 2: a month schedule in the calendar and she still can't
Speaker 2: show up for that with like so much pre planning
Speaker 2: and thought, then that is where the line can start
Speaker 2: to be drawn. But there's got to be a fair
Speaker 2: bit of grace to be given here. And you know,
Speaker 2: my maid of honor, my best friend and my whole
Speaker 2: life since five years old, Shannon. She's got kids, she's
Speaker 2: a teacher, she lives in a different state. But like,
Speaker 2: we have a friendship that is maintenance, is so low maintenance,
Speaker 2: and it's reciprocal, like we would be there for each
Speaker 2: other in a heartbeat if we needed it, but we
Speaker 2: get each other's lives. If the message isn't getting hasn't
Speaker 2: gotten back straight away, Like, you have to have grace
Speaker 2: in relationships, and some people their maintenance level doesn't match
Speaker 2: up in a friendship. Some friends are high maintenance. I
Speaker 2: don't want to say that in a negative way. But
Speaker 2: some people need more. They need more attention. Their cup
Speaker 2: is filled by seeing people all the time and other
Speaker 2: friends like I have friends like that. We love each other,
Speaker 2: but I don't match on the same level of what
Speaker 2: they need.
Speaker 4: I also have one big question to ask, and I
Speaker 4: think that this is probably a question that we could
Speaker 4: all ask about friends who have kids, who are in relationships,
Speaker 4: who are juggling like the mother load and everything else.
Speaker 4: And if you feel as though you don't see them enough,
Speaker 4: how supportive is their partner, Like when you guys go
Speaker 4: and have lunch, is she's saying he does fuck all
Speaker 4: and like I'm doing everything? Because if that's the case,
Speaker 4: if she does doesn't have a supportive partner, you also
Speaker 4: have to factor that into the load that she's currently
Speaker 4: carrying with three children and potentially work or whatever else
Speaker 4: she's doing. Having a supportive partner gives you so much
Speaker 4: more freedom to be a good friend. Having a non
Speaker 4: supportive partner takes all of your autonomy away because everything
Speaker 4: revolves around being one hundred percent clocked into the kids
Speaker 4: because you can't rely on your partner to do it.
Speaker 4: And I know a lot of people experience this like
Speaker 4: where the moms are just so ninety percent weighted towards
Speaker 4: the child care, and so it's so hard for them
Speaker 4: to like organize or to get prepared or to like
Speaker 4: have free time because their partners are useless, which is shit. Like,
Speaker 4: I'm not in no way am I. I'm not excusing that.
Speaker 4: It's a whole different conversation, but it's something to have
Speaker 4: a high level of empathy for for sure.
Speaker 2: All Right, question number four, my boss, let's call her.
Speaker 2: Sally confess to me ten months ago that she has
Speaker 2: had a fling with a married man during a business trip.
Speaker 2: She was convinced that she was in love and even
Speaker 2: planned to move to America for him.
Speaker 1: This is at This is a hr absolute situation.
Speaker 4: No, your boundaries, boss, not just with the cheating, but
Speaker 4: why are you telling your staff?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird.
Speaker 2: It gets worse. This is anyway, Thank god she didn't
Speaker 2: move to America. That ended, but for the past eight
Speaker 2: months she's been secretly seeing another guy in another state.
Speaker 2: The problem. Sally has two kids and a long term
Speaker 2: partner that we're calling Fred. Fred just thinks she's traveling
Speaker 2: for work, but she's in fact going into state to
Speaker 2: see this other guy that she's seeing.
Speaker 1: Sally is a hot mess.
Speaker 2: Sally is an naughty woman. In reality, She's been maintaining
Speaker 2: a whole other relationship. Meanwhile, Freddy's amazing. He's a supportive
Speaker 2: father who has no idea what's going on. Sally has
Speaker 2: shared way too many details with me and sworn me
Speaker 2: to secrecy. That is also not fair. That is really shit.
Speaker 2: But I feel awful. I was cheated on by my
Speaker 2: ex husband and when I found out, it absolutely crushed
Speaker 2: me so much that all these other people knew and
Speaker 2: chose to say silent. Now, Sally and Fred these names?
Speaker 1: Where did she pull this from?
Speaker 2: Sally and Fred are now semi separated, but they're still
Speaker 2: living together. She plans to tell him this new relationship
Speaker 2: has just started, but I know she's been cheating on
Speaker 2: Fred for over a year. Question do I tell Fred?
Speaker 2: I don't want to blow up his life, but I
Speaker 2: would have given anything for someone to have told me.
Speaker 2: What would you do? These aren't their real names.
Speaker 4: What's your take on the anonymous text or the anonymous
Speaker 4: DM slide in?
Speaker 2: Do you know what I think in this situation?
Speaker 1: In her account? What's your take?
Speaker 2: I think it's shit because unless you're going to follow
Speaker 2: through and explain it and give them evidence.
Speaker 1: It's shit.
Speaker 2: You could be anyone that's left a note on a
Speaker 2: car or I don't like that. What I think in
Speaker 2: this situation is this is different because they've already split up,
Speaker 2: So I guess what is going to come from it.
Speaker 2: Unless he's really actively going above and beyond to try
Speaker 2: and win her back and they're trying to sort it out,
Speaker 2: might be different. But for now, you said they've split,
Speaker 2: she's going to tell him she's seen someone else. Anyway,
Speaker 2: I just don't know what good's going to come from saying, hey,
Speaker 2: guess what Fred's actually been fucking in for a year. Like,
Speaker 2: if they've already split, I just wonder, like why you
Speaker 2: would go down that hole.
Speaker 4: This has too many complexities and we've answered many cheating
Speaker 4: questions in the past, and I often circle around the
Speaker 4: same thing. I know that you've experienced this and you
Speaker 4: would have done anything to have received that information. The
Speaker 4: thing is, though, is like you have to assess what
Speaker 4: drama is this going to bring into your life.
Speaker 1: This is your boss, this is your workplace.
Speaker 4: Two massive things that like make this a very unique situation.
Speaker 1: I think it's very important.
Speaker 4: Obviously, you're friends with your boss, Obviously you guys are close,
Speaker 4: but I think it's really important that you lay down
Speaker 4: some boundaries because it's not acceptable conduct that she's telling
Speaker 4: you the intricacies of her personal life.
Speaker 2: I do wonder, though, look at this relationship. I tell
Speaker 2: Keisha way too much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, probally, but also, like, imagine if you put Kesha
Speaker 4: in a situation where you were telling her that you've
Speaker 4: been cheating on Ben for a.
Speaker 1: Year, Ben, would you I would keep the secret?
Speaker 4: Or me saying that I was cheating on Matt, Like,
Speaker 4: the ethical issues with that is so shit, Like, I
Speaker 4: just don't understand why the boss chose you to say
Speaker 4: that too.
Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is possibly the relationship that they have.
Speaker 2: Obviously is there all friends she's friends with also his husband,
Speaker 2: So I'm assuming it is more of an intimate workplace
Speaker 2: that you can still be a boss and a friendship.
Speaker 2: Because we always joke about us here, We always cross
Speaker 2: the lines with each We always make the oh my god,
Speaker 2: if HR and you, but it's okay because we're also
Speaker 2: really good friends. So I'm assuming their relationship. Imagine if
Speaker 2: our boss at radio came up and was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you don't tell anyone I've been cheating on my wife. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'd probably tell lu do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: if something like that ever happened where they weren't in
Speaker 2: my intimate friend group, I'd be like, you're crossing a line.
Speaker 2: Why are you telling me that? But in our little
Speaker 2: community here. But the thing take it to the ground.
Speaker 1: Yeah see.
Speaker 4: But the problem is is even like n Radero, if
Speaker 4: the boss came and told me that he was cheating
Speaker 4: on his wife, I'm.
Speaker 1: Not losing my job. I'm not getting involved.
Speaker 4: I know that there's so many people that disagree with me,
Speaker 4: but like, you really are taking on a huge burden
Speaker 4: about someone else's personal life by getting yourself involved in
Speaker 4: a way that could cost you your job, and that
Speaker 4: is a huge thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying it's fair.
Speaker 4: You can obviously fight it if that outcome happened, but like,
Speaker 4: it's just such a gray area I wouldn't want to
Speaker 4: insert myself into. I think it is probably really important
Speaker 4: to be like, hey, I know that you're going through
Speaker 4: a lot at the moment. I know that there's stuff
Speaker 4: going on between you and Fred and whoever Bobb is
Speaker 4: down the road, But like, I don't want you to
Speaker 4: tell me about it because I don't want to be
Speaker 4: put in this position. You can say that, I think
Speaker 4: we need to take responsibility for the information that we're given.
Speaker 4: If we don't want it and we don't want to
Speaker 4: have the burden of what to do with it, you
Speaker 4: don't have to listen to it, and no one's going
Speaker 4: to get angry at you if you say, hey, look.
Speaker 1: I know that this is what you're doing. I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear about it.
Speaker 4: I just I can't because it puts me in a
Speaker 4: totally uncomfortable situation. I know you don't want me to
Speaker 4: say anything. I'm not going to say anything of what
Speaker 4: I know so far. Don't tell me anymore because I
Speaker 4: don't want to have to keep your secrets. Yeah, that's okay,
Speaker 4: and I think we need to be better at doing that.
Speaker 4: I think sometimes, and I'm not saying that this is you,
Speaker 4: I'm saying in general, sometimes we enjoy the gossip, but
Speaker 4: then we've got all the gossip and we don't know
Speaker 4: what to do with it. We enjoyed getting the story,
Speaker 4: we enjoyed being the closeness of being included in that,
Speaker 4: but then once you've got all the pieces of the puzzle.
Speaker 4: You're like, well, this is a heavy weight. Now what
Speaker 4: I'm meant to do with this weight? And that's really
Speaker 4: not a situation i'd be putting myself in in a
Speaker 4: work environment.
Speaker 5: Well, I'd still be worried about how saying that to
Speaker 5: a boss could be.
Speaker 3: Now, if I turned around one of you and I
Speaker 3: was like, hey, I know that you've been doing the
Speaker 3: wrong thing.
Speaker 5: I'm not going to say anything about it, but like,
Speaker 5: don't tell me anymore.
Speaker 1: Fine, I'm completely fine. You guys are reasonable.
Speaker 2: I would strap you down to my couch and I
Speaker 2: would make and I'll tell you.
Speaker 4: I actually genuinely think that there's not a bad outcome
Speaker 4: that can come is obviously you're not going to say it,
Speaker 4: and like, tell me more, And I'm going to tell
Speaker 4: him give me a pay run. I feel like I'm
Speaker 4: in a really uncomfortable situation and I don't I don't
Speaker 4: want the burden of it.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't want the burden. Please don't tell me.
Speaker 1: That's okay?
Speaker 4: Yeah, the only thing I and like, I want to
Speaker 4: unpack this a little bit more. I know that we
Speaker 4: have in the past said the anonymous text is careless
Speaker 4: and it is a lot of people, and we've heard
Speaker 4: about it in the past with different you know, someone
Speaker 4: slid into their DMS or someone send a message and like,
Speaker 4: the outcome never is a good outcome because if you're
Speaker 4: going to play the anonymous part and be like, hey,
Speaker 4: I know that your partner's been doing X, y Z,
Speaker 4: there's no after care to it. There's no like consideration
Speaker 4: to answering the questions that the person has, and it
Speaker 4: makes it really easy for whoever was the cheetah to
Speaker 4: lie and to kind of cover or create a story
Speaker 4: around that. So I guess I already have a lot
Speaker 4: of feelings about it, but I do wonder if there's
Speaker 4: ever an instance where a well thought out Hey, there's
Speaker 4: many reasons why I can't tell you who I am.
Speaker 4: This is the situation. I know that you've separated, and
Speaker 4: I just want you to know this information so that
Speaker 4: you don't make a choice without having the full conversation
Speaker 4: about what's happened. Is there ever a place where that
Speaker 4: type of approach might be beneficial.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, but only if you're going to give so
Speaker 2: much detail and evidence that if you know you don't
Speaker 2: want to go and answer any further questions, you need
Speaker 2: to provide them with absolutely everything. And I still don't
Speaker 2: think this is your first protocol. Like, I don't love it.
Speaker 2: I remember someone did it to me. I think I
Speaker 2: spoke about it on the podcast when I was with Jordan.
Speaker 2: Towards the end. I remember I got an anonymous message
Speaker 2: on Instagram. There was like, hey, just so you know,
Speaker 2: he's seeing this person and he absolutely wasn't, Like I
Speaker 2: know that. I believe that with every ounce of my being.
Speaker 2: And I wrote back to this person and I said, Okay,
Speaker 2: you don't to tell me who you are. Do you
Speaker 2: want to tell me how you know this or give
Speaker 2: me anything further. They're like, no, no, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I couldn't possibly, but I know. And I was like,
Speaker 2: and I went and spoke to Jordan about it, and
Speaker 2: you know, like we didn't have any trust issues in
Speaker 2: our relationship ever, so there wasn't anything preceding this message.
Speaker 2: I took it with a grain of salt. But this
Speaker 2: is the problem, right, if you are not that comfortable
Speaker 2: in your relationship, you don't and there's no proof people
Speaker 2: can just be blowing up things left, right and center.
Speaker 4: But also I think that usually comes in, and I
Speaker 4: agree with the detailed aspect that usually comes with the
Speaker 4: people who write messages like your husband's cheating.
Speaker 1: On you, your.
Speaker 4: Partner's cheating on you. Leave a note in a car
Speaker 4: like that is not going to do anything. That's not
Speaker 4: going to shift the dial. Like if you are going
Speaker 4: to go down the route of sending the anonymous message,
Speaker 4: you send it all. You send everything exactly as you said.
Speaker 4: But the problem is is you've got to know that
Speaker 4: sending that information to someone and not being able to
Speaker 4: be there to be like, are you okay? You have
Speaker 4: no idea what state you're leaving that person in. You
Speaker 4: have absolutely no idea of what mental state they are
Speaker 4: in when they're receiving that information, and you have no
Speaker 4: idea of what mental state they're in when they have
Speaker 4: finished reading it. And I think both of those things
Speaker 4: are critically important because you just don't know how someone
Speaker 4: would respond to their entire life being blown the fuck up.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not going to be well, you don't have
Speaker 2: the details. They're not responding. Well, at the end of
Speaker 2: the day, they're already broken up. It's your boss.
Speaker 1: At least just leave it. Leave it.
Speaker 4: Let dead dogs lie, Okay, maybe we do a poll
Speaker 4: on that, because I feel as though some people who
Speaker 4: have been cheated on would do anything to know the truth.
Speaker 4: So therefore that like sways the opinion on it.
Speaker 2: I might feel different if they were still together and
Speaker 2: they had kids and they were working on I might
Speaker 2: feel different. But they've split and she's going to tell
Speaker 2: him she's with someone anyway. So I feel like now
Speaker 2: it's like, I don't know. I'm just like it's causing
Speaker 2: a lot of unnecessary.
Speaker 4: Issues, And yeah, I agree, And to be honest, like,
Speaker 4: I say this from the perspective of someone who has
Speaker 4: been cheated on, and I understand the reasons why the
Speaker 4: people who didn't tell me didn't tell me.
Speaker 1: I get it. I understand.
Speaker 4: I don't hold resentment for them, and I know that
Speaker 4: that's not the case for everyone. But I don't expect
Speaker 4: them to have taken on the burden and the drama
Speaker 4: of what my ex boyfriend was doing, do you know
Speaker 4: what I mean?
Speaker 1: I don't even expect that of them.
Speaker 2: I also forgot to even mention this. I've been in
Speaker 2: that situation where we broke up, like the person was
Speaker 2: cheating on me. I didn't know they're cheating at the
Speaker 2: time we broke up, found out they cheated on me, whatever,
Speaker 2: moved on. I had received messages six months down the track,
Speaker 2: a year down the track from people saying, hey, just
Speaker 2: want to let you know, like this happened, he was
Speaker 2: cheating on you. And I remember being like, why the fuck?
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we've broken up.
Speaker 2: Why are you bringing this back to my fourth Like
Speaker 2: my forethought, why are you making me revisit that? Like
Speaker 2: it's done, we're not together. It doesn't change the rest
Speaker 2: of my life, you know, it makes it worse, it
Speaker 2: doesn't add to it. And I think if they've already
Speaker 2: split up, it's just not adding anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I had the exact same thing happened.
Speaker 2: Yeah, remember looking at the message being like, why the fuck?
Speaker 2: Why what are you getting from this?
Speaker 1: Like thank you, you're such a good giant.
Speaker 3: I was just like I already know.
Speaker 2: I just didn't know he was also doing it with you.
Speaker 3: Goddamn thanks for being another one.
Speaker 2: There were ones I didn't know about, but it didn't
Speaker 2: It just didn't change anything for me.
Speaker 1: I was like, but you also are not surprised.
Speaker 4: You kind of get those messages and you're like, yeah, whatever, I.
Speaker 2: Was like, cool, we're broken up.
Speaker 3: Oh I did the group chat.
Speaker 1: Literally anyway, all right, guys, well that's it from us.
Speaker 4: If you have a question for asking cart, slide into
Speaker 4: the DMS send us your saucy, deep dark questions. I
Speaker 4: feel like these ones were all very level. We need
Speaker 4: some fucking insane ones. I'm looking forward to them.
Speaker 2: We know you're out.
Speaker 3: We do.
Speaker 4: Like I've said it before, like the like the stepdad
Speaker 4: who not the stepdad, the father in law who was
Speaker 4: sniffing the dildo.
Speaker 1: That's what we need. We need that sort of stuff.
Speaker 2: We hope that's not happening, but if it is, get.
Speaker 1: Off your chest.
Speaker 3: Guys.
Speaker 4: Wait you then slide into the DMS at Life un
Speaker 4: Cup podcast. You can also watch it all on YouTube.
Speaker 4: We have a great YouTube channel, and you know the.
Speaker 2: Drill mum you do, tell you dot t your friends
Speaker 2: and share the
Speaker 4: Love because we love love all my own I love,
Speaker 4: I love love