1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: She's on the Money. 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 2: She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on 3 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 2: the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 2: Have you ever not gone for a job because you 5 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 2: don't think you're qualified enough, even though you have stacks 6 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 2: of experience? Have you ever stopped yourself from asking for 7 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 2: a pay rise because you don't really think you're worthy, 8 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: even though your colleagues say that you're pretty great? Do 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,559 Speaker 2: you ever feel like a fraud in your job and 10 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 2: that eventually you'll get found out? 11 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: Yes? 12 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 2: Well, if like us, you answered yes to any or 13 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 2: maybe all of those questions, then it's likely you have 14 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 2: imposter syndrome, a phenomenon that's holding us back, not only professionally, 15 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 2: but financially. And we think it's about time that changed. 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: Yesterday exactly right. 17 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 2: My name is Georgia King and joining me today for 18 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 2: what I think is going to be quite an empowering 19 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: little chat. 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: I think it will be my friends. 21 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 3: We've got ved on. 22 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: The MIC's over here. 23 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 4: And why'd I say friends not friend? 24 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 3: Georgia, I'm a surprise. 25 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: We have the. 26 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 4: Illustrious Tony Lodge joining us today because I thought that 27 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 4: tuning into a conversation between three pals is going to 28 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 4: be a lot more empowering and a lot more relatable 29 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 4: than just Georgia King and I are going, yeah, cool, 30 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 4: this makes sense. Here are the stats and facts, because 31 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 4: last week Tony and I were having a great chat 32 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 4: about imposter syndrome and how we both suffer from it, 33 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 4: and you probably heard part of that in one of 34 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 4: our most recent money diaries, and we were like, what 35 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 4: a better time to drag Tony into the chat talk 36 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 4: about impostera syndrome. 37 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 3: I'm here for it, You're here for it. I feel 38 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 3: like I already even don't belong in this, Like, oh 39 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 3: my god, Jae King so intimidated. 40 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, Georgia is really scary PAFA jacket as well, and 41 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:59,920 Speaker 4: I'm like, I need She's so well dressed, just like all. 42 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 2: The I'm wearing my active way guy. 43 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 4: But who looks that good inactive ways? 44 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 3: So rude. 45 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 2: So let's get into it, guys. It's not just the 46 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 2: three of us that feel imposter syndrome. According to a 47 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,079 Speaker 2: study in the journal a General Internal Medicine US Study, 48 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 2: eighty two percent of the population feels imposter syndrome at 49 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 2: some stage of their career. For anyone who isn't familiar 50 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 2: with this concept, be can you outline exactly what we're 51 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,080 Speaker 2: talking about absolutely so. 52 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,880 Speaker 4: As spoken about before, imposter syndrome is when you feel 53 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 4: like a fraud, usually in the professional space, where you 54 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 4: feel as though you're going to get found out in 55 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,359 Speaker 4: any moment. 56 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: Now, if you're in. 57 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 4: The situation where maybe you did lie about your credentials 58 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 4: and your university degrees and stuff, that theory is probably 59 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 4: incredibly well warranted and I'd probably out myself now, and then. 60 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 3: It's also probably not imposter syndrome. 61 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 4: If it's actually yeah, yeah, I actually believe that is 62 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 4: called fraud full like it's not imposter syndrome, but hoster 63 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 4: syndromes where you just feel as though you aren't deserving 64 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 4: of the role or the place or the position that 65 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 4: you're currently in. And it often manifests itself as a 66 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 4: fear of the success that you're going to achieve all 67 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 4: the failure that you might inevitably come up against. And 68 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 4: it also manifests itself in a way that often leans 69 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 4: towards a tendency to be quite self depreciating and to 70 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 4: also self sabotage, and because of that, it can really 71 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 4: hinder our careers and our progression and our personal development, 72 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 4: which is why. 73 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 1: It has to get out, like get out the door, 74 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: put it in the bin. Ce bye. 75 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 4: That's the end of the podcast. We've just decided it 76 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 4: shouldn't exist anymore, so therefore it doesn't. But most of 77 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 4: us probably think as a relatively new concept, when in 78 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 4: reality it is not. Imposter syndrome was first articulated by 79 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 4: researchers Aims and Clans back in nineteen seventy eight, which 80 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,960 Speaker 4: is much further away than we thought it was, because 81 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 4: if you ask me, in nineteen ninety was ten years 82 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 4: ago and it was actually like thirty so true. Yes, 83 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,040 Speaker 4: But they found out that people who had experienced imposter 84 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 4: syndrome would attribute this success to knowing the right people, 85 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 4: or to luck, or to being in the right place 86 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 4: at the right time, rather than to any real skill. 87 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 4: And this is something that really frustrates me because I 88 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 4: hear it a lot, and you guys would hear in 89 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 4: the office often if anybody says I'm so lucky, I 90 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 4: jump down their throats quite literally, like I probably need 91 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,840 Speaker 4: to tone it down a bit. I'm like, well, Tony, 92 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 4: it is not lucky that you are here. You are 93 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 4: here because you are skill. And I hate when people 94 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 4: just go, oh yeah, it's so lucky, Like you know 95 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 4: what lucky is. Lucky's finding two dollars on the ground. 96 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,720 Speaker 4: You don't accidentally stumble into a career. It wasn't a mistake, 97 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 4: it was a choice and you were chosen. And I 98 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 4: think that in Australia, with tall poppy syndrome being so prevalent, 99 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,360 Speaker 4: it's so easy to inflict those things on ourselves because 100 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 4: it's not often you hear another woman, especially stand up 101 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 4: and say I'm really proud of myself. 102 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: I do really well. 103 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 4: Like nobody says that because you kind of side eye 104 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,239 Speaker 4: them and go oh okay. 105 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 2: People don't like to hear that. 106 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 4: People don't like to hear it, and I love to 107 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 4: hear that. And I always ask. 108 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: People are you proud of yourself? Did such a great job? 109 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:01,680 Speaker 1: Are you proud? 110 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 4: Because it's one thing to say, hey gee, I'm really 111 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 4: proud of that thing you did last week and another 112 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 4: to be like, hey gee, that was sick. 113 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: Are you proud of what you did? 114 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 4: Like, just changing the narrative around how we actually value 115 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 4: ourselves is. 116 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 3: So important, especially as women. I feel that if you 117 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 3: do come out and say I'm really proud of what 118 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 3: I did, or did you see that I did that 119 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 3: and I did a great job? People are like, wow, tickets. Yeah, yeah, 120 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 3: You're not actually allowed to say those things because it 121 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 3: means that you're cocky, when actually I think, oh nice, Yeah, 122 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,960 Speaker 3: I want to be like a really good job, but 123 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 3: I just feel comfortable doing that. 124 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 4: Most say exactly, and I think there's you know, I 125 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 4: don't want to say there's right and wrong ways to 126 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 4: do that, because I don't believe that there is a 127 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 4: right or a wrong way to celebrate yourself. But I 128 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 4: think that a lot of people just assume that it's 129 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 4: all wrong, when in reality that's not the case. Like, 130 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,360 Speaker 4: you're not wrong in celebrating your successes, no matter how 131 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 4: big or small. But getting back to the ims and 132 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 4: clants for research from nineteen seventy eight, they also established 133 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,839 Speaker 4: that those who experienced imposter syndrome had difficulty accepting compliments 134 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 4: and recognition. They would often dwell instead on negative feedback, 135 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 4: and that people with imposter syndrome overestimate the intellect and 136 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 4: competence of those around them and would compare their areas 137 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 4: of weakness with the strengths. 138 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 3: Of others as if you're describing me. Oh really, yeah, definitely, 139 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 3: I feel but I. 140 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:24,600 Speaker 4: Think so I feel like so many people do that, 141 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 4: and I've been really guilty of that as well. I 142 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 4: just assume everybody around me is so much smarter than me, 143 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 4: and I think it's really nice to be able to say, no, 144 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 4: I deserve to be here. 145 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm going to drag my own seat up to. 146 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,359 Speaker 4: The table and I'm going to sit at the table 147 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 4: because I deserve to be here. Like, we are intelligent people, 148 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 4: and it actually breaks my heart to think that the 149 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 4: people that I love the most are actually feeling like 150 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 4: they're not competent. 151 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: What you deserve so much better than that. 152 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 4: Like, I think it's one thing for people to say, oh, yeah, 153 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,599 Speaker 4: you know, I've just joined a new company. 154 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old. 155 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,680 Speaker 4: The average age of the employees here is fifty and 156 00:06:57,720 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 4: they all have eight degrees and I don't even have one. 157 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: And yet I understand why you. 158 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 4: Might feel a little bit out of your league. But 159 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:08,160 Speaker 4: you know, even for people like Tony right, Tony's so intelligent, 160 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 4: so well regarded in this space, and I thought I 161 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 4: lucked out when I got her stole her from radio. 162 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 4: I genuinely was so impressed. And the people that I 163 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 4: spoke to, because we obviously have a really close association 164 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 4: with the radio station that I stole Tony from, they 165 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 4: were all like, oh, my gosh, she's the best. 166 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 1: You're going to be so happy stuff. Yeah, But then 167 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: to hear. 168 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 4: That you then say something like, oh, I feel like 169 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 4: I shouldn't be here. It's like wow, like nobody else 170 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 4: thinks that of you. And I guarantee that those experiencing 171 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 4: imposter synchrome don't have people going, oh, they're the wrong 172 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 4: person for the job. Absolutely not, because we have people 173 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,239 Speaker 4: pleasers and we're trying to hu Yeah. 174 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: That's why everybody loves us. 175 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 4: Going back to the research, instead of going off on 176 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 4: my tangents, which I feel like I'm going to be 177 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 4: really good at this episode, i'ms and clants found that 178 00:07:55,280 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 4: it also disproportionately impacts high achievers, women, people have color, 179 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 4: and minority groups, and it's really common in millennials, who 180 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,480 Speaker 4: incidentally are the main demographic of our podcast, which is 181 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 4: a huge reason why we have to talk about this 182 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 4: more often. 183 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 2: So you have a background in behavioral psychology that we 184 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 2: do draw on quite a bit in these conversations. 185 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: I feel like finance is psychology. Yeah, well it's it's. 186 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 4: A close psychology linked right, Yeah, I mean it's psychology 187 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 4: with numbers. 188 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. So why does this happen? I think it's just 189 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: in our nature. 190 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 4: You know, it's really sad, But I think it's something 191 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 4: that has been pushed on us that we just don't 192 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 4: feel deserving of the accolades and the successes that we have, 193 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,839 Speaker 4: and therefore we doubt that people have given them to us. 194 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 4: And I feel it. I do it all the time, 195 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 4: and I feel so grateful to have achieved the success 196 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 4: that I have. 197 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 1: I know it's not luck. 198 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 4: I deeply know it's not luck, because I work my 199 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 4: butt off to be in the position that I'm in, 200 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 4: and I care so deeply about our community, and I 201 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 4: care so deeply about the causes and my team, and 202 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 4: you know, if I pragmatically look at it, I know 203 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 4: why I'm where I am. 204 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: It's not luck. 205 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 4: It was I created this. But even saying those words 206 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 4: makes me feel a little bit icky because I feel like, oh, 207 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 4: are people going to listen to this and think I've 208 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,199 Speaker 4: got tickets on myself? Because I don't think I'm lucky 209 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,559 Speaker 4: for being in the position. 210 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 3: But that's exactly exact same. 211 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 4: It makes me feel icky, and it makes me feel 212 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 4: like I shouldn't be having this conversation or celebrating my 213 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 4: own successes or using examples about myself in this particular situation. 214 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 4: But the amount of times I felt out of my 215 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 4: depth and out of my realm in this space, it's crazy. 216 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 4: But it's not what I know our community sees. And 217 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,719 Speaker 4: I'm so grateful that they don't see that, because we've 218 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 4: being a whole heap of trouble. If you guys saw 219 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 4: me the way I see me. 220 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 3: But why do you think that of all of those 221 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 3: groups of people that suffer from imposter syndrome at higher percentages, 222 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 3: why do you think millennials are among those? Because I 223 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 3: can understand, I mean, speaking from my own experience as 224 00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 3: a woman, I know that that's why I feel it, 225 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 3: because I think, oh, I don't deserve to be here, 226 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 3: and I've previously worked in very male dominated workplaces and industries. 227 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:09,880 Speaker 3: But why a millennials? Is it just because we're young 228 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 3: and we don't think we're in. 229 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 4: I think it's because we are young. Obviously, the research 230 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 4: stretches back way before millennials. We're even in existence. It 231 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 4: was before our parents actually met to create us. I 232 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 4: think there are a couple of reasons for this one. 233 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 4: It's the stories we tell ourselves, right, So if we 234 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 4: repeatedly tell ourselves a story that we're a fraud, we 235 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 4: are going to believe it after a certain period of time, 236 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 4: and it's a really vicious cycle. But then on the 237 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 4: flip side, I think as millennials, we have been afforded 238 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 4: the opportunity to be far more successful than any other 239 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 4: generation because we're now living in an era where it's 240 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 4: okay to be young and in power, and it's okay 241 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 4: to be young and in leadership positions, and that's being 242 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 4: far more embraced, whereas, if you take it back to 243 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 4: nineteen seventy eight, was actually really uncommon for there to 244 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 4: be working mums. And you know, we're more empowered these days. 245 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 4: But that then perpetuates us because we compare our circumstances 246 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,440 Speaker 4: to the circumstances of people we look up too and 247 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 4: people that we've had experiences with. 248 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: And you know, my parents have. 249 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 4: Had great careers, but they've had a lot of longevity 250 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 4: in their careers, whereas me I bounced around jobs and 251 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 4: found the right fit for me, and that seems to 252 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 4: be looked down upon. And I think that, you know, 253 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,200 Speaker 4: we just have a completely different experience. But in the 254 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 4: age of technology, which makes me sound really old, we're 255 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 4: able to learn so much easier. 256 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:24,560 Speaker 1: Like we had. 257 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,560 Speaker 4: Google doing university assignments, and you know, Tony, you could 258 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 4: jump into a job and not know something, but it's 259 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 4: actually okay because you can google it find a way 260 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 4: to solve that problem. And I think that in twenty 261 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 4: twenty one, millennials are better a problem solving than gathering knowledge, 262 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 4: whereas historically careers were about okay, well you needed thirty 263 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 4: years experience to gather all the knowledge that you needed 264 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:47,200 Speaker 4: to do that specific job. So I would say we're 265 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 4: more problem solvers these days than historically, not because we're smarter, 266 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 4: but because we have access to the resources. And that 267 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 4: therefore means we feel as though that thirty years experience 268 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 4: that a tech person had, we don't actually need that 269 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 4: to say solve the problem, because that person with the 270 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,240 Speaker 4: thirty years of knowledge actually made us a YouTube video. 271 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 4: We went and looked at it and solved our issue ourselves. Yeah, 272 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 4: and then we feel maybe not as competent because you know, 273 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 4: that was the way it worked. 274 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,360 Speaker 1: What about with women vs? 275 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: So they were in another group that we chatted about 276 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 2: just before. Why do you think that women are impacted 277 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,080 Speaker 2: more adversely than men? 278 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 4: Let's jump back into stats and give you some hot tips. 279 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,719 Speaker 4: But we've all heard a thousand times this, but it's 280 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 4: really important to reiterate again. But women go for jobs 281 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 4: when they are one hundred percent qualified for that job, 282 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 4: whereas men will apply for them if they are sixty 283 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 4: percent qualified for them, because they just go, yeah, I'll 284 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,360 Speaker 4: work it out, no problems. They genuinely just have more 285 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 4: confidence at an underlying base level than we do, whereas 286 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 4: we want to tick all the boxes and dot all 287 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,840 Speaker 4: the i's and cross all the t's, and whereas I 288 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 4: would want to go into a job and know one 289 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 4: hundred percent of it instead of relying on the fact 290 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 4: that you can learn a lot on the job, whereas 291 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 4: men are more likely to be like, yeah, I'll pick 292 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 4: that stuff up. It'll be quite easy. And that really 293 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,199 Speaker 4: upsets me because it's not fair, like, how come they 294 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 4: got that level of confidence? Where can I get some 295 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 4: of that? Because no one told me I wasn't confident. 296 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 4: But my risk tolerance is less than men. I'm less 297 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,079 Speaker 4: likely to want to take risk, whereas men are far 298 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 4: more risky, and I think that that underlyingly just plays 299 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 4: into it. Unfortunately, when it comes to most workplaces, men 300 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 4: specifically white straight men, are able to glide through because 301 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 4: of the system that has been designed by them is 302 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 4: actually for them. So that's really nice for them, and 303 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,680 Speaker 4: they don't doubt their inclusion at the table because they 304 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 4: already build a belief system that they belong and because 305 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 4: generally speaking, they've never really been made to feel like 306 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:40,839 Speaker 4: they shouldn't be at that table, Like the table was 307 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,679 Speaker 4: built by men, and they always sat around their own table, 308 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,319 Speaker 4: and now we're asking to join a table that we 309 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 4: weren't always welcome at. Of course we're feeling apprehensive about 310 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 4: knocking on that door. Yeah, this is also worsened for 311 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,640 Speaker 4: people of color and other minority groups who have to 312 00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 4: fight much harder to get a seat at that table 313 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 4: and who already deal with added adversity, which is wildly 314 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 4: under fair. Again, like we talk about this, you know, 315 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 4: we're a room of white women and we are privileged 316 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 4: to be in that position, but it was through no 317 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 4: choice of our own. And the same if you're a 318 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 4: minority group or a person of color, like, it makes 319 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,360 Speaker 4: no sense to not be allowed at table because you're 320 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 4: just as smart, just as competent, and just as you know, 321 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,920 Speaker 4: deserving of that seat as we are, and it just 322 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 4: baffles me. Then in twenty twenty one, we're still fighting 323 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 4: for these chairs that are rightfully yours. And we have 324 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 4: beautiful conversations about this all the time in our community, 325 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 4: in our DMS, particularly about people saying, hey, like, this 326 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 4: is my situation and i just feel like I'm not 327 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 4: deserving and I'm not this, and I'm not that, and 328 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 4: it's just like so heartbreaking to hear your stories. But 329 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 4: I'm also just so grateful that you're willing to share 330 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 4: them with me, and you know, want to open up 331 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 4: and ask for some guidance, because you do deserve that 332 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,080 Speaker 4: seat at that table, and sometimes you just need someone 333 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 4: to say no, you deserve it for you to feel 334 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 4: like you can go and open that door, you can 335 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 4: apply for that job, And let us today be that 336 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 4: person that says. 337 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: No, you deserve this. 338 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 4: No, you've worked hard, We've done a really good job, 339 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 4: and we are so damn proud of you, because too 340 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 4: often we forget to tell the people that surround us, 341 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 4: that we're proud of them, that they are doing a 342 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 4: good job, and that I think plays into it as well, 343 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 4: where we just you don't hear that we're really good 344 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 4: at forgetting that and only hearing the negative feedback, Like 345 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 4: how many times do we You know? You and I 346 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 4: do it in the office all the time, Tony, Like 347 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 4: we'll HiPE each other up and we'll be excited about 348 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 4: stuff we're doing and I'll be like, that's sick or 349 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 4: this is sick, and then we make one small mistake 350 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 4: and we ruminate over the oh, I'm so sorry about 351 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 4: that for ages, and it's like stop, Like, who cares? 352 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 4: Look at all the good stuff you're doing. 353 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 3: That tiny mistake doesn't actually remove all the amazing stuff 354 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,360 Speaker 3: that you've been doing. 355 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,240 Speaker 4: No, but somehow mentally it derails all of those positive 356 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 4: comments and they fly straight out of our brains and 357 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 4: onto the floor, and the only thing taking up space 358 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 4: in our brain is that one thing that we did 359 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 4: that probably wasn't even that big of a deal. So 360 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 4: I think that it's also important to remember that what 361 00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 4: you're placing priority on might not be the right thing. 362 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, so moving on it exactly the crux of this podcast, right, Yeah, well, 363 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,360 Speaker 2: I mean it's a money podcast. So how is this 364 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 2: impacting our finances significantly? 365 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 1: My friends? 366 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,240 Speaker 4: So it's holding us back from bigger and better career opportunities, 367 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 4: be that a new job or a potential promotion at 368 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 4: our current workplace, or even the idea that we don't 369 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 4: deserve a pay rise that we should be asking for. 370 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 4: So often it's also not asking for what we are worth. 371 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 4: And this is big for freelancers who are trying to 372 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 4: work out their hourly rate, but also people who haven't 373 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 4: had pay rises in a significant period of time, because 374 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 4: often bigger corporations are going to rely on the fact 375 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 4: that they're just loading through, like we don't need to 376 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 4: give them a pay rise because they haven't asked, and 377 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 4: sometimes we just don't have the confidence, so they let 378 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 4: us cruise through for years, and then when we finally 379 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:51,160 Speaker 4: do ask, they act like it's a level of audacity. 380 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,400 Speaker 1: That we shouldn't have. 381 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:55,440 Speaker 4: So I think it's impacting our finances significantly because one 382 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 4: we don't think we deserve it, but two other people 383 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 4: start to feel comfortable with the fact that you haven't 384 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 4: asked or haven't asserted any level of dominance around the 385 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:08,240 Speaker 4: fact that you do have a great amount of capability. Now. 386 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 4: The other day I saw a post, it was back 387 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 4: in March from a person called Alice in our community 388 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 4: who had a job offer come up, but she was 389 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,680 Speaker 4: really confused about how much money to ask for. The 390 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 4: job was a massive step up from what she'd been 391 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 4: doing previously, and then when she googled the average range 392 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 4: for what people in that kind of job were making, 393 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 4: it was so so so much more than what she 394 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 4: was currently on and she felt like an impostor for asking. 395 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: For that much. 396 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 4: But fortunately, in true she's on the money community form. 397 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 4: We rallied behind her and encouraged her to shoot for 398 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,800 Speaker 4: that high number. Really proud of you, but that's something 399 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,440 Speaker 4: I see a lot. And by the way, she did 400 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,840 Speaker 4: get that high number, which is job Alice. 401 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: I know, cheers Alice. 402 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,760 Speaker 4: But I think it's also really important to remember that 403 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 4: if you're going for a new job, whether it is 404 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 4: in the same industry or not, let's value that new job, 405 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 4: not what your current salary was. 406 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:55,560 Speaker 2: Like. 407 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,880 Speaker 1: That new job has a value. What is it? 408 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 2: Don't you think it's hardly v as someone with imposter 409 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,919 Speaker 2: syndrome when you're going for those jobs you're just like, 410 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,439 Speaker 2: I'm just lucky to be here. Just have like pay me, 411 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,760 Speaker 2: don't even pay like, don't worry about like you you 412 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,000 Speaker 2: want to pay me because you don't want to miss 413 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 2: out on that opportunity because you don't really believe that 414 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,400 Speaker 2: you're worth anything, you know what I mean? 415 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,920 Speaker 1: Like yeah, and that how do you come back? 416 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:15,360 Speaker 2: My heart? 417 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 4: But everything in this episode is but I think you 418 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 4: need to remember it's not luck. 419 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:19,879 Speaker 3: Let's stop. 420 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,960 Speaker 1: Let's stop using the word lucky. Nobody is lucky. People 421 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: are worthy of You're lucky if you win the lottery. 422 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:26,359 Speaker 1: You're not lucky. 423 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,720 Speaker 4: If you're awarded a job interview because someone chose to 424 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 4: have you there, it was a choice. And a job 425 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,679 Speaker 4: interview is actually two ways. You're not just there to 426 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 4: impress them. You're there to work out if that's the right. 427 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: Fit for you. 428 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 4: And you need to remember that you need to do 429 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 4: the right thing for you because at the end of 430 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 4: the day, money is not the key indicator of happiness. 431 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 4: And there's actually a cap and I think it's about 432 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 4: seventy five thousand dollars a year where the more you 433 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 4: once you earn more than that, you actually don't get happier. 434 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 4: You get more stressed. And it's not to say that 435 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 4: money doesn't buy happiness. It absolutely can, because it affords 436 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 4: you a level of financial security. But I think it's 437 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 4: really important to remember that find the right role for you, 438 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 4: feel comfortable in it, and also remember it's a two 439 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,399 Speaker 4: way street, so imposter syndrome can really set us back. 440 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 4: But it's also just not fair that we have it 441 00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 4: full stop. 442 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: End of story. 443 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 4: And I think it's a lot about mindset and some 444 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 4: of the best people. You know, We had a money 445 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,280 Speaker 4: diarist the other day and that was the one that 446 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 4: you and I did. And she didn't have a degree. 447 00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 4: She was the only one in the room in her 448 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 4: career that didn't have a degree. Was she any less 449 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 4: deserving of being there? 450 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: Tony? 451 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,160 Speaker 3: Absolutely not exactly. She worked really hard, she'd been working 452 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 3: through lots of jobs for years and years, and she 453 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 3: said she had a great boss who gave her heaps 454 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 3: of support, and she still didn't feel like she deserved 455 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,679 Speaker 3: to be there. And if we can't even accept the 456 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 3: praise from the people that are literally signing our paychecks 457 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,560 Speaker 3: every bactly, then what are we up to? 458 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 4: Yeah, And something that I have as a little bit 459 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:55,399 Speaker 4: of a mantra, especially when things get hard or I 460 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 4: don't feel like I'm in the right room, or I 461 00:19:57,359 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 4: just feel like, you know, oh, and you know, get 462 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 4: this a fair bit. When I get offered a new opportunity, 463 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,959 Speaker 4: I'm like, I've never done this before. Oh my gosh, 464 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,640 Speaker 4: it's going to be so hard. And that is that 465 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 4: effort will not betray you. And if you are putting in, 466 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 4: that effort is never going to betray you. You are 467 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 4: always in the right room. And I think that that 468 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 4: is a really important piece of it, because if you're putting. 469 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: In the effort, I'm sorry, you're not in the wrong room. 470 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 1: That's why you're there. 471 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,040 Speaker 4: Whereas you know, some people do experience a bit of 472 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,119 Speaker 4: imposter syndrome, and have spoken to them before and this 473 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 4: is probably you know, less sexy. It's because they're not 474 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,960 Speaker 4: trying hard enough and they're not actually doing the job 475 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,280 Speaker 4: there therefore, and that's where it becomes not a surprise 476 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 4: to them when they do end up, you know, maybe 477 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 4: losing that job because they're not putting in that time 478 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,240 Speaker 4: and that effort. But the things that make good employees 479 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:45,399 Speaker 4: have nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do 480 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 4: with the tenacity and the energy and the person that 481 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 4: they bring to work every day. It's nothing to do 482 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 4: with am I smart enough? Do I have enough degrees? 483 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,199 Speaker 4: No one cares about that. And I think with that, 484 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,880 Speaker 4: let's take a really short break because we are deep 485 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,280 Speaker 4: in conversation and I know we'll get back into more 486 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 4: deep conversation. So let's continue this conversation after a quick break. 487 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:13,680 Speaker 1: Don't go anywhere, alrighty bass? 488 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 2: So how do we go about combating imposter syndrome? 489 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,399 Speaker 4: So first things first, I think the important thing is 490 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,439 Speaker 4: to surround yourself with people you love and care about. 491 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 4: Build a community of people who support you both professionally 492 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 4: and personally. And I am genuinely so grateful to have 493 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 4: so many beautiful people who support me in my personal life. 494 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,800 Speaker 4: But on top of that, I also have a group 495 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 4: of women who I think is kind of like my 496 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 4: business mates. And I'm actually excited because I'm going off. 497 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,600 Speaker 1: To lunch with them I love. 498 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,199 Speaker 4: I know, I know you're also fancy, no, but they're not. 499 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,040 Speaker 4: And it's funny because you know, you've only been here 500 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,840 Speaker 4: a month, so you haven't met them, but they're all 501 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 4: exactly like me. And when you break down other people, 502 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 4: you're like, oh, you look really joiny on Instagram, but 503 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 4: you're actually just the type of gal who stuffs the 504 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,600 Speaker 4: whole profferal in her mouth. 505 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 3: I love that, and that's why I want to meet them. 506 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like they're my people, Like I love them, and 507 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 4: we rally around each other and we really build each 508 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 4: other up and encourage each other to take risks. So 509 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 4: find your people and love them hard. And if you 510 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,320 Speaker 4: can't find those people they chose on the money community 511 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,880 Speaker 4: is here to do that for you. But finding those 512 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 4: people also helps you realize that other people who you 513 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 4: think of is really confident and successful and shiny just 514 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 4: really feel exactly the same way. It's funny how often 515 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 4: imposter syndrome comes up as an underlying theme in the 516 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,440 Speaker 4: conversations that I have with these women who own businesses 517 00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 4: and successful ones. And you know, one of them's been 518 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 4: on the front of the AFR. 519 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: Magazine and you just go, what do you mean? You're 520 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: not good enough? 521 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 4: It just baffles me that these incredible people still harbor 522 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,880 Speaker 4: so much self doubt. And so I think it's really 523 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 4: important to remember that doesn't matter how high you climb, 524 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:52,680 Speaker 4: you still feel like a fraud and it's not good 525 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 4: and it's not just you and your grad role, it's 526 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 4: not just you in your career. It's not because you 527 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 4: went on matt leave and you've come back. It's none 528 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 4: of those things. That is an underlying piece of self 529 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 4: belief that you actually need to change the narrative around, 530 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 4: and you're going to experience it consistently until you decide 531 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,240 Speaker 4: to change your mindset because no one else can change. 532 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: That for you. 533 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 2: Isn't there something called like a rival fallacy or something 534 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 2: like that? Away I feel fellos I think so it's 535 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: like you think, when you get this big job, that 536 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: you'll finally be happy, that you'll set yeah, that you'll 537 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,719 Speaker 2: finally feel that confidence. But the fallacy is that you 538 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 2: don't feel that way. You feel exactly the same, which 539 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,280 Speaker 2: is why we need to change our mindsets right. 540 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 3: Exactly what Georgia said, Because we're basically sitting here gaslighting 541 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,919 Speaker 3: ourselves into thinking that we aren't good enough to be 542 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 3: where we are or be where we want to be. 543 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: Why will we gaslight ourselves? Exactly? Yeah, let's not do 544 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 1: that anymore. 545 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,440 Speaker 3: Exactly. So the end of the podcast, let's. 546 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 4: Sep Well, I've still got some tips, and the next 547 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:52,480 Speaker 4: one is say yes, to stop holding yourself back. When 548 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,440 Speaker 4: we say no to opportunities because we're afraid of failure 549 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 4: or because we don't think that we qualified enough for 550 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:01,240 Speaker 4: the role, we are immediately shutting ourselves off from any form. 551 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: Of growth that we could achieve. 552 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 4: And it's common to not only think the worst possible 553 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 4: outcomes in these situations, but let's start focusing on what 554 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,160 Speaker 4: could happen instead of what could go wrong. And that's 555 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 4: kind of the quote that you know I have. I 556 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 4: think it's on my phone. I screenshot it sometimes to 557 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,880 Speaker 4: remind myself when I say it on Instagram and it's like, well, 558 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 4: what if I fail? 559 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: And it's like, yes, but what if you fly? 560 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,960 Speaker 3: I was literally about to say, really, I see it. 561 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 4: And I always screenshot things I want to remember, and 562 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 4: that's why I have like three thousand screenshots on my 563 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,680 Speaker 4: phone that I actually never. 564 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 3: Look at all the time. It makes you feel like 565 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 3: you're like really taking anything. 566 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, you've do you think there's some kind of app 567 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,920 Speaker 4: I could get that could just delete my screenshots for 568 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 4: me when I take them and they're useless. 569 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a two month thing. 570 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 4: And it's like, yep, she never came back and looked 571 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:48,840 Speaker 4: at that, so it's gone. 572 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,640 Speaker 1: You just lost it. The It's fine. 573 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 4: The next thing I want literally everybody in our community 574 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,920 Speaker 4: to do is cut out any form of negative language 575 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 4: that we use to describe ourselves and alter the stories 576 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 4: that we tell ourselves. As I was saying earlier, G 577 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,640 Speaker 4: and T. 578 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: Saggy and tasty, so cute. These tasty ladies are coming 579 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:09,040 Speaker 1: right up. 580 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 4: But as I said to you guys earlier, the stories 581 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 4: we tell ourselves are a massive part of imposter syndrome 582 00:25:14,640 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 4: and why it exists. 583 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:16,920 Speaker 1: So let's just stop. 584 00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 4: And ask ourselves if we know that is factually true. 585 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 4: I mean, taking on feedback. 586 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: Is really important. 587 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,640 Speaker 4: It's not to say that we should just stop accepting 588 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 4: any level of negative feedback because that can help us grow. 589 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 4: But what we're telling ourselves is that true and correct, 590 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,600 Speaker 4: and let's go from there. We need to just be 591 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 4: kinder to ourselves and our bodies and the people that 592 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,080 Speaker 4: are around us. And something I found to be really 593 00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 4: helpful is actually to just use kinder language in general, 594 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,879 Speaker 4: because often it's really hard to start with ourselves. So 595 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,639 Speaker 4: start with the people that surround you, whether that is 596 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,960 Speaker 4: your friends or your family, or even just leaving really 597 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,840 Speaker 4: kind comments on people's posts on Instagram. That starts to 598 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 4: become a part of your everyday language. You can set 599 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 4: a habit, you can set a trait. I say it 600 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 4: all the time. Oh my gosh, I'm so kind to myself. 601 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,680 Speaker 4: I'm so kind to others. I didn't always talk about kindness, 602 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,199 Speaker 4: But I think the more you talk about it extrovertedly, 603 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,280 Speaker 4: the more it actually starts to internally become a part 604 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,320 Speaker 4: of your internal dialogue and monologue. And I think that 605 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,600 Speaker 4: that's really important as well. So the biggest tip there 606 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 4: would be start showering it on other people because once 607 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 4: you do that, it starts to internalize, right, It starts 608 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 4: to soak in, and that's when you can start growing. 609 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 4: And then the last thing here, gee is keep a 610 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,439 Speaker 4: list on your phone of everything you've achieved and the 611 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:31,320 Speaker 4: positive things people have said about you, all good reviews 612 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,359 Speaker 4: from your podcast, because so. 613 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 3: Easily leave a good review. 614 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 4: Yeahs, so easily, Like it's easy to forget that one 615 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 4: way people, But two, it's easy to forget all the 616 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 4: good reviews when you read one negative one calling you 617 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,400 Speaker 4: out for something that you never believed you were. 618 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, they think I'm that. 619 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 4: Oh that's awful, Like that's horrendous, Like that makes me 620 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 4: feel sick, Whereas I don't spend nearly the same amount 621 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 4: of time ruminating over someone who says us my faith podcast. 622 00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 4: That's such a beautiful comment. But I go, oh, cool, 623 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 4: and then I move on. 624 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:06,199 Speaker 2: What Victoria, We had this conversation when I've started on 625 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 2: the podcast, Yeah, which was like a year and a 626 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:13,119 Speaker 2: half ago. Those reviews were devastating, they. 627 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 4: Were, and I told you not to read them, and 628 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 4: you kept reading them. 629 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 2: You never listen, it's so hard not to and you 630 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:21,800 Speaker 2: you only focus on the negative things that people say. 631 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,919 Speaker 2: And that's exactly what you said, was like, gee, but 632 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,960 Speaker 2: we're getting so much positive feedback and all of this, 633 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 2: but it. 634 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 4: Takes one rotten egg to spoil the patter. 635 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I read a really cool quote. It was actually 636 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 3: another meme that I screenshotted and able to find if 637 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:36,640 Speaker 3: I looked for it right now. 638 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 639 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 3: Fair, And it said, don't accept criticism from somebody you 640 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 3: wouldn't ask advice from. Yeah, Oh, I love so like 641 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,439 Speaker 3: if this random person on the internet meet lover sixty 642 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 3: nine or whatever. 643 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 4: No, it's not, it's great, that's great. Is that your 644 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 4: fake us probably you. 645 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,600 Speaker 3: See that it's me. But if you see them saying 646 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 3: like oh victorious rude and I hate her hair or something, 647 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 3: not true. 648 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 4: I didn't actually ask you meet lover sixty n exactly. 649 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 4: I don't remember asking for your opinion, and. 650 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 3: You're not going to call up meat Lover sixty nine 651 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 3: and be like, hey, what do you think about this? 652 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,479 Speaker 3: Or like do you think you need me on this? 653 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 4: Like but also also I couldn't call that person because 654 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,160 Speaker 4: they're anonymous and they are choosing not to put their 655 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 4: real name against their feedback because they don't have the 656 00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 4: guts to do that, which is horrendous. And I think 657 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 4: it's funny because I've seen people before leave negative feedback 658 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 4: or message our Facebook group and I remember one time 659 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 4: we did a Q and A on that on our 660 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,360 Speaker 4: stories on Instagram and we said, you know, we'll share 661 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,440 Speaker 4: your posts anonymously, and so someone took it as this 662 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 4: is anonymous, and so obviously I could see who had 663 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 4: messaged us, and I was like, wow, okay, so like 664 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 4: I obviously replied, I didn't post it publicly, and I 665 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:55,360 Speaker 4: just said, hey, like I'm so sorry that that's your experience, 666 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 4: Like I don't know where this is coming from And 667 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 4: they replied immediately like how did you work out who 668 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 4: sent that? And I was like, well, it wasn't anonymous. 669 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,240 Speaker 4: It was going to be posted anonymous. Like I would 670 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 4: never out you to the community and out you to 671 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 4: other people. I just wanted people to have a safe 672 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,160 Speaker 4: space to ask some questions and see what's going on. 673 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,640 Speaker 4: And they were like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Wait, 674 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 4: you're sorry because I now know who you are you're 675 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 4: providing that feedback, or you're sorry that you said it, Like, 676 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,479 Speaker 4: in which case, why did you think that typing that 677 00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 4: literal essay out was realistic to begin with? 678 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: And it's really. 679 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 4: Interesting because these people do tend to be keyboard warriors 680 00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,719 Speaker 4: who just genuinely don't like to see you being successful. 681 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 3: And then you click on their profile and they've got 682 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 3: two daughters or something, and you go, oh wow, imagine 683 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,160 Speaker 3: if you're going to put themselves out online, you know, 684 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 3: they were trying to be a creator or whatever and 685 00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 3: someone wrote that, you would be so angry. You'd be like, hey, 686 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 3: that's my daughter. You can't write that. I'm like, but 687 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:54,959 Speaker 3: you're perpetuating this horrible cycle ananimity online where you're allowed 688 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 3: to just have a go at someone. 689 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:57,720 Speaker 1: Internet's weird. 690 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,479 Speaker 4: Yes, the Internet is such a weird place to be, 691 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 4: and it's kind of like the way people expect you 692 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,719 Speaker 4: to use Like, for example, we're still talking about Instagram. 693 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 4: I see Instagram kind of like my house, right, Like 694 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 4: I have decorated my Instagram and my house in the 695 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,200 Speaker 4: way I want like it, And you wouldn't come into 696 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 4: my house Tony and be like that art works horrible. 697 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 4: I cannot believe you have those books. Why why haven't 698 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 4: you got more books on color and art and this 699 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 4: and that? Whereas people seem to come on Instagram sometime 700 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 4: and they're like, why haven't you got more posts on 701 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 4: this or that? And it's like, don't come into my 702 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 4: house and tell me what I need to decorate. 703 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 3: It with or what I should be doing. 704 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, and scream at me like, you chose to come here, 705 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 4: you chose to follow me. 706 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: You don't have to. It's actually a choice, So don't 707 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 1: do it. 708 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 3: Yeah. 709 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 4: And I think it's just really interesting that so many 710 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 4: people have this audacity, but they're not willing to back 711 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 4: it up. And often when you start to look into it, 712 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:53,040 Speaker 4: the things people say about you are not a reflection 713 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,440 Speaker 4: of you. They are a reflection of their insecurities, and 714 00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 4: when you start to look deeply into it, it's definitely 715 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,840 Speaker 4: not about It was actually about you, and it was 716 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,240 Speaker 4: about that, you know, their two daughters and the things 717 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 4: that they're struggling with that it's often people projecting their 718 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 4: fears and their failure is onto you, and it's so 719 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,880 Speaker 4: important to remember that. And I know this is meant 720 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 4: to be about imposter syndrome, but a lot of people 721 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:20,200 Speaker 4: who suffer incredibly severely with imposter syndrome also deflect onto 722 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 4: other people their issues like I'm not successful enough. 723 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,600 Speaker 1: To be here, or I'm not you know this, that 724 00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: or the other. 725 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 4: So then they're upset when other people seem to be 726 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 4: achieving the things they think they're deserving of, which is 727 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,920 Speaker 4: you know, it's really sad, and we live in a 728 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:37,800 Speaker 4: world where our success should not be detrimental to somebody else's. 729 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 4: And Ryan John who's a producer of this show, and 730 00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 4: you guys would have heard him on our pods before, 731 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 4: but he has this quote that I think is really 732 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 4: beautiful and probably a really great place to end this conversation. 733 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:52,680 Speaker 4: But a rising tide lifts aulships. Oh, it's cute isn't it? 734 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 4: And he actually uses it all the time when talking 735 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 4: about community or what we should do or you know, 736 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 4: who we should share things with. He's like, no, there's 737 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 4: no such thing as gone like arising ties. 738 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: This whole ship's victoria. 739 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,280 Speaker 4: And I'm like, oh, I've never heard that before, but 740 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 4: it's really true, and like we are all going to 741 00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 4: be higher because arising tide. 742 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 1: It's all ships. 743 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:11,440 Speaker 3: He's such a good egg. 744 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,719 Speaker 1: He's a good egg. He's a good egg. We are 745 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,000 Speaker 1: lucky to have him. 746 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 4: Okay, I think that that is a nice little empowering 747 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,240 Speaker 4: place to leave. 748 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: It all, my friends. 749 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 4: So just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge 750 00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 4: and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's, 751 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 4: the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and the 752 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,160 Speaker 4: skies are all across Australia. We thank you for sharing 753 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,960 Speaker 4: and for caring for the land on which we are 754 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 4: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present, 755 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,400 Speaker 4: and we share our friendship and our kindness. 756 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general 757 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She 758 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 2: is on the money exists purely for educational purposes and 759 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 2: should not be relied upon to make an investment or 760 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 2: a financial decision. And we promise Victoria Divine is not 761 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 2: an impostor. She is an author. Guy's legit and she 762 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 2: needs to believe it. Victoria Devine is an authorized representative 763 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:06,960 Speaker 2: of Australia Civic Funds Management Proprior. 764 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: Pitty Little Pity, Little Pity. 765 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 2: Litted a BN three four one three two four six 766 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 2: three two five seven AFSL three three nine one five 767 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 2: one And with that I believe we will see you 768 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:19,080 Speaker 2: next week. 769 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: Guys by friends, have a good week.