Speaker 1: The Rising Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of the
Speaker 1: land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen Bear region.
Speaker 1: We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their connections to land,
Speaker 1: sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal
Speaker 1: and Terrestriid islander peoples today. Hello and welcome back to
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This is the podcast for
Speaker 1: ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things.
Speaker 2: What's so great about self awareness is that, yes, we
Speaker 2: understand ourselves better, but the flip side of that is
Speaker 2: that we also understand others better. And when it comes
Speaker 2: to communication, which is usually a two way fee to
Speaker 2: or more waiting, we can really sort of understand what
Speaker 2: that other person is trying to say to us.
Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conca podcast.
Speaker 1: It is your host Georgie Stevenson, lawyer turned entrepreneur, business owner,
Speaker 1: New Mum or The Things. Today we are chatting to
Speaker 1: best selling author Giordana Levin. Jordana believes that our haa
Speaker 1: moments are contagious and self awareness is your greatest superpower.
Speaker 1: Geordana is the author of three amazing books, Make It Happen,
Speaker 1: Make You Happen, and Hire Love. I've read them all
Speaker 1: and they're so so good. We've actually had Jordana on
Speaker 1: the potty years ago where we chatted about her first book,
Speaker 1: which is all about manifesting. I'll make sure to link
Speaker 1: it because I know you guys will love that one too.
Speaker 1: So today we chat about all things self awareness, strengthening
Speaker 1: your intuition, and how we can improve our communication to
Speaker 1: best express our most authentic self. It was such a
Speaker 1: lovely chat and I honestly cannot wait for you guys
Speaker 1: to hear it. But before we get into the episode,
Speaker 1: a little weekly update. If you haven't listened to Friday's episode,
Speaker 1: which you should, we told you guys that we have
Speaker 1: beautiful rn C affirmations that you can download. Of course,
Speaker 1: they're esthetically pleasing, they're completely free. All you have to
Speaker 1: do is go to the website, which is just Georgie
Speaker 1: Stevenson dot net and you can download them straight to
Speaker 1: your phone and there's seven beautiful affirmations. I know you
Speaker 1: guys will love them. They're quite fun. We also did
Speaker 1: a sneaky shoot for rn C for something we have
Speaker 1: for you guys coming up. I cannot say anymore. Teas
Speaker 1: giving me eyes. Should we just tell them no? And gotcha,
Speaker 1: go ahead dell them no. Actually, let's just tell them. Okay.
Speaker 1: So guys, you've seen it, You've seen it everywhere. We
Speaker 1: created an RNC.
Speaker 2: We couldn't leave it in.
Speaker 1: You wanted me to tell them a tea. Well, this
Speaker 1: was last week, but a little update so special because
Speaker 1: Jamie moved to the Gold Coat Jamie moved to the
Speaker 1: Gold Coast. Say hi, Jamie.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: So we've been egging Jamie on for a long time,
Speaker 1: being like move to the goldcost Jamie, and she she
Speaker 1: hasn't officially moved, but she's down here for a good
Speaker 1: amount of time for a month. She's actually staying in
Speaker 1: my guest house, which is fun. I had dinner with
Speaker 1: Jamie and her mom last night and her mom is
Speaker 1: so I love your mom. I'm obsessed. And when she
Speaker 1: told me about like your dad and her, I was like,
Speaker 1: this is Jamie, Like I know where she comes from
Speaker 1: now it just made so much sense but it was
Speaker 1: so lovely and yeah, so Jamie's here. So this is
Speaker 1: actually like our first like little recording where We've got
Speaker 1: her in the office, which is pretty cool. And that's
Speaker 1: about it. Had Ellie's twenty first. That was a lot
Speaker 1: of fun was noted here.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Good. I'm starting to get a bit sick you had
Speaker 1: too much fun, But yes, that is all. Let's get
Speaker 1: into this episode. I know you guys are going to
Speaker 1: love it. Gordana, welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast.
Speaker 1: It's so good to have you back on the show.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much. It's so great to be
Speaker 2: back on the show.
Speaker 1: We are so excited here before we get into the episode,
Speaker 1: do you want to just tell the audience who you
Speaker 1: are and all the good things you do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess first and foremost these days, I'm a writer.
Speaker 2: I've written three personal development books, Make It Happen, Higher Love,
Speaker 2: and Make You Happen. I think we spoke about make
Speaker 2: It Happen the last time I was on the podcast. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I'm still writing, but kind of switch lanes a
Speaker 2: little bit, and I'm writing my first fiction at the moment,
Speaker 2: which is very exciting, very challenging, but a nice change
Speaker 2: from personal development.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's so exciting. Could I possibly ask,
Speaker 1: like what it's about.
Speaker 2: Or Basically it is. The book is split into three parts,
Speaker 2: and it's sort of like a sliding doors moment, the
Speaker 2: protagonist with a decision of three choices, and then the
Speaker 2: book splits into three separate timelines. So it's taking me
Speaker 2: a really long time to write because I'm essentially writing
Speaker 2: three plot lines at the one time. But I can
Speaker 2: pull it off, which I'm pretty sure I can. It's
Speaker 2: going to be pretty good.
Speaker 1: I think, Oh my god, that does that sounds amazing
Speaker 1: and is like, is the vibes like a bit of
Speaker 1: a love story or a bit of.
Speaker 2: A love story, bit of a coming of age story,
Speaker 2: bit of a development story, all the things we love?
Speaker 1: As I say, me and Natia, we're so excited. We
Speaker 1: every like we this weekly recommendations on a Friday, and
Speaker 1: all our recommendations are love story, coming of age. So
Speaker 1: you've hit the nail on the head with us, and
Speaker 1: we're very excited for this book.
Speaker 2: You will be sent one of the very first copies.
Speaker 2: I promised.
Speaker 1: Oh I cannot wait. No, that's amazing. Congratulations and I
Speaker 1: love that. That's such an evolution of you. Like you said,
Speaker 1: you've done three self development books and obviously nailed it.
Speaker 1: Your books are just amazing. But I love that you're
Speaker 1: you know, you're growing, you're evolving, and you've got something new.
Speaker 1: I bet it. I bet it's like keeping things really
Speaker 1: fresh and exciting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you. I sort of I ran out of
Speaker 2: stories to tell about myself, so I was like, I
Speaker 2: better start someone else's story.
Speaker 1: And it's interesting, you you know, bring up fiction because
Speaker 1: just the other day on the podcast, I was telling
Speaker 1: the RNC fan that I am like ride or Die
Speaker 1: for my self development. Obviously I have a self development podcast,
Speaker 1: but recently I'm like, I'm actually reading, for the first
Speaker 1: time and probably four years, a fiction book because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need to I'm a new mum too, so I'm
Speaker 1: like I need to separate, you know, my work, and
Speaker 1: I need to have some time away. And I feel
Speaker 1: like fiction books are just amazing to like completely get
Speaker 1: lost in another world and you know, a form of yeah,
Speaker 1: really kind of stepping outside of like constantly learning and
Speaker 1: just doing something where it's like it's just fully for you.
Speaker 1: So that's really gad.
Speaker 2: And you know what my publisher said to me not
Speaker 2: so long ago when I was sort of floating the
Speaker 2: themes in this fiction book and I said to her, Oh,
Speaker 2: do you think I should like really sort of weave
Speaker 2: through some self help and personal development into the fiction?
Speaker 2: And she said to me, which I found really interesting,
Speaker 2: And it's so true, she said, jawed. Every character in
Speaker 2: a book goes through some sort of character development. There's
Speaker 2: some sort of development of person that happens to either
Speaker 2: the protagonist or the other characters throughout a really well
Speaker 2: written story. So she said, so true. So you know,
Speaker 2: even when you're reading fiction and you're taking a break
Speaker 2: from those self help books, there's still this evolution of
Speaker 2: self and recognition of self that you can see within
Speaker 2: those characters.
Speaker 1: It's almost like it's such a it is, it's a
Speaker 1: form of self help. It's just written in like a
Speaker 1: really beautiful, juicy way. Which how good. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: well let's start talking back about self development. So, like
Speaker 1: you said, you were on the potty, and I'll make
Speaker 1: sure I link the first episode we did together, which is, Oh, Jordane,
Speaker 1: I think it was. It would be like three years ago, now,
Speaker 1: wouldn't have Could you spoke at one of our live events,
Speaker 1: the very first one in Brisbane?
Speaker 2: I think it would have been twenty nineteen because that
Speaker 2: event was twenty nineteen. Wasn't it was before?
Speaker 1: That's crazy, So it's so good to have you back on.
Speaker 1: So I have just read your new book, Make You Happen,
Speaker 1: and it's so beautiful and I love how you've really
Speaker 1: you know, obviously self development and self help, but it's
Speaker 1: really written in a new way and I guess made
Speaker 1: me think about things from a new perspective. I would
Speaker 1: love for you to a first because I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of the audience would have read Make It Happen.
Speaker 1: Can you kind of explain to us the difference between
Speaker 1: these two books and what you really kind of brought
Speaker 1: in the Make You Happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So, Make It Happen is a book about manifestation,
Speaker 2: and it essentially walks you through the theory of manifestation
Speaker 2: and then the practical application of it. So it's like
Speaker 2: a really foundational teaching of the manifestation practice. Make You
Speaker 2: Happen sort of builds on what we learned in Make
Speaker 2: It Happen, which was essentially the manifestation equation thoughts plus
Speaker 2: feelings plus action and faith and says, hey, that equation
Speaker 2: is really great and super handy, but in order to
Speaker 2: manifest what we want, we have to first acknowledge that
Speaker 2: we manifest who we are. So what I saw in
Speaker 2: Make You Happen is fine tuning, a really acute self
Speaker 2: awareness practice, because if we can become super self aware
Speaker 2: of who we are, it's easier for us to show
Speaker 2: up authentically, stay in alignment with ourselves, and from that space,
Speaker 2: we start to vibrate on a frequency that's truly authentic
Speaker 2: to us and naturally start to manifest that which is
Speaker 2: meant for us towards us.
Speaker 1: It's such like the thing of you very much manifest.
Speaker 1: You know who you are and what you are, and
Speaker 1: so I think that's such a key thing as we
Speaker 1: can often miss of. It's funny because I kind of
Speaker 1: I have like a manifesting course, and that's what I
Speaker 1: explain in it is the formula is actually really quite simple,
Speaker 1: but you need to work on yourself and really get
Speaker 1: to a point where you know you love yourself, your
Speaker 1: your your whole authentic self, and you have accepted all
Speaker 1: the parts of yourself and you feel very seen. And
Speaker 1: then when you manifest from that point, it's so much
Speaker 1: more powerful and it's so much more, for lack of
Speaker 1: a better word, like easier, because you're so clear on
Speaker 1: who you are and what you want, and you're so
Speaker 1: clear of oh, these are the limiting beliefs and that
Speaker 1: sort of thing. So that is Yeah, that is so
Speaker 1: perfect and it's such such a powerful book. Well, do
Speaker 1: you want to kind of explain to the audience a
Speaker 1: bit more about self awareness? Because something I often say
Speaker 1: is when you know someone has a how question of
Speaker 1: you know, let's say they have a limiting belief and
Speaker 1: it's like, how do I overcome it? And something I
Speaker 1: kind of explained to them. The fact that you're even
Speaker 1: self aware now is just such a huge thing and
Speaker 1: such a great first set. So do you want to
Speaker 1: just explain, you know, what is self awareness and how
Speaker 1: it actually affects manifesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, like you said, self awareness creates this really
Speaker 2: sort of beautiful foundation for you to understand yourself so
Speaker 2: well that you can show up and embrace the way
Speaker 2: the world in a way that sort of you know,
Speaker 2: plays to your strengths but also recognizes and considers your
Speaker 2: weaknesses and not to use those weaknesses as an excuse,
Speaker 2: but to show a bit of compassion and self love
Speaker 2: and a gentle nature to yourself in each and every moment.
Speaker 2: Understanding who you are is such an integral part of
Speaker 2: manifesting because manifestation really is about the creation of that
Speaker 2: which we desire, and you don't know what it is
Speaker 2: you desire until you can truly understand who you are
Speaker 2: and how you're affected by the situations, the people, the
Speaker 2: experiences that are happening around you. So what I did
Speaker 2: in the book is I kind of split because self
Speaker 2: awareness is such a big topic. I kind of split
Speaker 2: into six aspects of self. And the six aspects of
Speaker 2: self are identity, emotions, energy, communication, love, sex and desire
Speaker 2: kind of squeezed into one aspect, and your spirituality and intuition.
Speaker 2: And I guess when you can sort of split it
Speaker 2: up like that and think, Okay, how and who do
Speaker 2: I identify as? How do I express and process my emotions?
Speaker 2: Because the thing is we all do it differently, and
Speaker 2: nothing is right and nothing is particularly wrong. It's about
Speaker 2: being how you show in the world. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 2: also your energy levels, how you exert, how you recharge,
Speaker 2: how you sort of fulfill those energetic capacities and energetic
Speaker 2: needs that you have. How you communicate is such a
Speaker 2: huge part because we all have different strengths when it
Speaker 2: comes to our communication, and some people say, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm just not a very good communicator. It's about finding
Speaker 2: the ways in which you do communicate well and utilizing
Speaker 2: those to the best of your ability. Love, sex, and desire,
Speaker 2: of course, is a huge part of what makes us
Speaker 2: human and what forms connection with other people. And then
Speaker 2: lastly our spirituality and our intuition, so sort of how
Speaker 2: we listen to that internal part of us, that internal knowing.
Speaker 1: It's almost like we recently did a podcast on the
Speaker 1: five Love Languages, and it was such an interesting experiment
Speaker 1: just for me and my partner because you know, I'd
Speaker 1: heard about I'd heard about that, and and until we
Speaker 1: actually had the conversation where I asked him, how do
Speaker 1: you want to receive love? And how do you want
Speaker 1: to give love? And then I did the same thing,
Speaker 1: and it opened up this whole thing of I was
Speaker 1: so much more aware, and I was like so much
Speaker 1: more understanding, And because our love languages are very different,
Speaker 1: because we're obviously very different people. But then once you
Speaker 1: have the awareness and once you have the understanding, I
Speaker 1: you know, made some very small tweaks in our relationship
Speaker 1: that I was like, oh my god, this has made
Speaker 1: such a huge difference, and it just took you know,
Speaker 1: that little bit of awareness. So it's like a similar
Speaker 1: thing but with ourselves in those you know, different categories.
Speaker 2: Exactly, because I think a lot of the time, especially
Speaker 2: in relationships, we put so much effort into understanding the
Speaker 2: other person. But if we put much effort into understanding ourselves,
Speaker 2: then we're actually in a better position to have a
Speaker 2: great relationship because we get to explain to the other
Speaker 2: person who who we are. And if we don't take
Speaker 2: the time to find that clarity, then it can become
Speaker 2: really fuzzy and unclear.
Speaker 1: And do you have like a go to exercise? I'll
Speaker 1: say no, there's so much information and so many good
Speaker 1: exercises in the book. I really love how each chapter
Speaker 1: there were you know, exercises you could do because I'm
Speaker 1: someone who loves homework quickly. But do you have kind
Speaker 1: of like a go to exercise? If someone in the
Speaker 1: community has listened to this episode and they're kind of like,
Speaker 1: I really don't know who I am and what I want,
Speaker 1: what would be like a very first initial thing that
Speaker 1: they could do right now to just get that little
Speaker 1: bit step closer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really good question. I would start with,
Speaker 2: like the really simple question of what brings me joy?
Speaker 2: What lights me up? And sort of just getting really
Speaker 2: familiar with the things little and big that make you
Speaker 2: feel joyful and make you feel alive and bring you energy,
Speaker 2: you know, And I think, is that is something that
Speaker 2: we don't consider all the time. Again, we always look
Speaker 2: how we can please other people or how we can
Speaker 2: make work more comfortable for other people, you know, But
Speaker 2: if you sort of turn the tables on yourself and say, okay,
Speaker 2: what what would make me feel better in this moment?
Speaker 2: What would what would make me feel joy right now?
Speaker 2: What would make it feel lighter? And sort of getting
Speaker 2: curious about those aspects of self.
Speaker 1: And something in your book I remember reading, is you
Speaker 1: kind of explain just kind of what you said then
Speaker 1: of the first the kind of steps of this is
Speaker 1: I guess you know, first of all, it's the curiosity,
Speaker 1: and then it's the acceptance, and then it's the embodiment.
Speaker 1: Can you kind of go through that process and give
Speaker 1: us a bit of an example of what that would
Speaker 1: look like? Because I just thought this was so interesting.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I think much like you, Georgie, love work and
Speaker 2: steps and equations all the.
Speaker 1: Steps and all the equations and all the methods exactly.
Speaker 2: So much like what could happen had the manifestation equation.
Speaker 2: I created three steps of self awareness for make you happen,
Speaker 2: and I think, look at something we do quite naturally,
Speaker 2: but when you break it down into steps, it's really
Speaker 2: easy to understand it. So the first step of self
Speaker 2: awareness is the curiosity piece. Some of us are really
Speaker 2: curious people. I am like, I have to know everything
Speaker 2: all of the time. But for other people it's like
Speaker 2: really taking the time to get curious about situations. So
Speaker 2: in terms of self awareness, that's things like self inquiry
Speaker 2: and self reflection, asking yourself questions, how do I feel
Speaker 2: or how do I feel in this moment? How does
Speaker 2: this situation make me feel? How does this problem make
Speaker 2: me feel? How does this person make me feel? What
Speaker 2: is this experience teaching me? What have I learned in
Speaker 2: the past in order to navigate this situation better? So
Speaker 2: just asking questions, getting curious, you know, after being through
Speaker 2: an experience, saying to yourself, what can I take away
Speaker 2: from this? What was the lesson here? Yeah, also getting
Speaker 2: curious again I mentioned it before, but about what your
Speaker 2: strengths are in different areas of your life, and also
Speaker 2: what your weaknesses are, again not to use them as
Speaker 2: an excuse, but just so you can have an awareness
Speaker 2: of them and use them to the best of your abilities.
Speaker 2: Once we get curious and we sort of start to
Speaker 2: question ourselves and question situations, there's the next step. Really
Speaker 2: is the acceptance piece, and this is the gracing of
Speaker 2: your strengths and weaknesses, being gentle with yourself through failures
Speaker 2: and periods of healing, and also like really sort of
Speaker 2: celebrating your successes. A big part of acceptance is being
Speaker 2: at peace with yourself. So we talk about self love
Speaker 2: a lot, but I think this idea of just being
Speaker 2: okay with where you are at, accepting yourself for who
Speaker 2: you are, knowing yes, we can always expand and grow
Speaker 2: and learn more, but it's okay just to be who
Speaker 2: we are right now in this moment. An AHA moment
Speaker 2: for me with the acceptance piece is when I realized
Speaker 2: that a common roadblock for me, and I'm sure this
Speaker 2: is the case for many other people when it comes
Speaker 2: to self acceptance, is that we feel like we can
Speaker 2: only accept ourselves to the degree we feel accepted by others.
Speaker 2: So if you feel that is the case for you.
Speaker 2: It's really sort of again going back to the beginning,
Speaker 2: getting curious about why that is, Why can't I accept
Speaker 2: this thing about myself? And then the last step of
Speaker 2: self awareness, and it is the clincher, really is the
Speaker 2: embodiment piece. It's embodying what you've learned and accepted about yourself.
Speaker 2: I think for many of us with self help work,
Speaker 2: with personal development work, this is where we trip up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we can need all of the self help and personal
Speaker 2: development books, we can do all the courses, listen to
Speaker 2: the podcast, all of the things, and we have the knowledge,
Speaker 2: but we need to be able to apply it, embodiment,
Speaker 2: embody it, and like show up as those teachings within
Speaker 2: our life day to day.
Speaker 1: That's such the missing piece, isn't it. I feel like
Speaker 1: sometimes and you know, I'm so guilty of this too.
Speaker 1: Of I love learning. I love you know, there's a
Speaker 1: reason that I work in self development and I love learning.
Speaker 1: But sometimes we can kind of go through and it's
Speaker 1: learning and learning and learning and aha moments. But unless
Speaker 1: you're actually embodying it and actually putting into practice, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like just going into one ear and going
Speaker 1: out the other. So I think the embodiment is such
Speaker 1: a huge key, you know, seeing that people I guess
Speaker 1: miss and kind of don't implement. So that's yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so important.
Speaker 2: The embodiment piece is an interesting one because I think
Speaker 2: we can be sort of in and out of flux
Speaker 2: with it. Like, just because we understand ourselves and we
Speaker 2: know something about ourselves doesn't mean that we're always showing
Speaker 2: up like that. So like really checking in with yourself
Speaker 2: and saying, all right, did I really embody my values
Speaker 2: in that moment or did I just ignore them correctly?
Speaker 2: You know, it is a constant practice. I know for myself,
Speaker 2: I went through a period at the end of last
Speaker 2: year even the beginning of this year, after I've wrote
Speaker 2: this book where I was not embodying everything I knew,
Speaker 2: you know, I'd sort of it was a slow process
Speaker 2: where I'd really distanced myself from a lot of the
Speaker 2: practices that used to be part of my every day
Speaker 2: And because it was such a slow progress or process,
Speaker 2: I didn't realize it had happened until I sort of
Speaker 2: looked back and I was like, hang on, I'm not
Speaker 2: embodying any of that stuff that I talk about, and
Speaker 2: really sort of having to go back to the beginning
Speaker 2: and start to reintroduce it.
Speaker 1: It's so true, isn't it. I often am in the
Speaker 1: exact same boat where almost though I feel like we
Speaker 1: go through seasons, I personally would go through seasons where
Speaker 1: I'm just so strong with my boundaries and like knowing
Speaker 1: who I am and so clear on my goals, and
Speaker 1: then other seasons where and I can kind of resonate
Speaker 1: with this recently, especially after having a baby, girl Ivy is,
Speaker 1: I'm going through season feels like a very long season,
Speaker 1: but I'm going through a season where, you know, like
Speaker 1: when you have a baby, it is very much like
Speaker 1: a death of your old self and you know you're
Speaker 1: almost reborn, because it feels like a completely different person.
Speaker 1: It feels like a completely different life. And I probably
Speaker 1: haven't taken enough time to really figure out like who
Speaker 1: I am in this new season of life, and I've
Speaker 1: just been trying to, you know, go with it and
Speaker 1: do the best I can, which is obviously amazing. But
Speaker 1: you know, I'm finding I look back at myself even
Speaker 1: one or two years ago, and I'm like, that just
Speaker 1: feels like such a different person who was so strong
Speaker 1: with her boundaries, who was so clear what she wanted,
Speaker 1: and I'm currently going through a season where I'm like
Speaker 1: a little bit foggy.
Speaker 2: No, I was just going to say, it's just a
Speaker 2: matter of like checking in with yourself again, starting with
Speaker 2: those identity chapters and saying, do I identify as now
Speaker 2: what are my value now that I'm a mother, because
Speaker 2: they're going to be completely different.
Speaker 1: I think that's the big thing too, is I've spent
Speaker 1: most of the year, I guess, ignoring the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm a whole different person and kind of just and
Speaker 1: also just you know, trying to get through life. It's
Speaker 1: obviously so much more difficult. But for the first time,
Speaker 1: probably in the last month, I've actually had a clear
Speaker 1: head where I have been answering some of those questions
Speaker 1: and being like almost switching it around from this negative
Speaker 1: thing to this kind of you know, taking is that
Speaker 1: a positive and being like, I actually get to decide
Speaker 1: what my new values are and what I stand for,
Speaker 1: and I get to really, you know, take control. I'm
Speaker 1: a control break and take control and be like, I
Speaker 1: actually get to create this new life and yes it's different,
Speaker 1: but how exciting Rather than seeing it as you know,
Speaker 1: a death of my old self. I'm like, it's the
Speaker 1: birth of the new me. And how exciting I get
Speaker 1: to explore. I get to experience all these things again. So,
Speaker 1: you know, that's been a whole journey that I've been on,
Speaker 1: and I feel like a lot of people can resonate
Speaker 1: even if you haven't recently given birth. But just I
Speaker 1: think since COVID, like all our lives are so different,
Speaker 1: so many things have happened, and I feel like you
Speaker 1: can It's it's never going to hurt to revisit, you know,
Speaker 1: these identities pieces. And actually I'd love to talk about
Speaker 1: values because I'm going to be very honest. Previously, when
Speaker 1: I've heard about these concepts, I more resonate with like,
Speaker 1: you know, core beliefs, so core beliefs I have about myself.
Speaker 1: And when I know used to hear on podcasts about
Speaker 1: values of I used to be like, oh, it just
Speaker 1: wasn't for me, if that makes sense. I never would
Speaker 1: do that exercise. But since I have gone on this
Speaker 1: journey of identity, I've been really kind of looking at
Speaker 1: what are my values, and I've been you know, doing
Speaker 1: the whole thing where I have the whole list of
Speaker 1: words and picking the words et cetera. But yeah, could
Speaker 1: you explain to the audience, like what that exercise looks
Speaker 1: like of finding your values and why it's important?
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. And I have to begin by saying I
Speaker 2: was exactly the same Georgie. I was like, what, no,
Speaker 2: boring the way that I view values in all my books. Actually,
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I've spoken about values in all my
Speaker 2: books as thinking of them more like feelings. So all
Speaker 2: beliefs is great, but I think a lot of the
Speaker 2: time for many people, their beliefs are based purely on
Speaker 2: like cerebral thoughts. So it's sort of me with the
Speaker 2: same idea, but bringing it back down into the feeling
Speaker 2: body and saying, how is it that I desire to
Speaker 2: feel in my life? And moment to moment, can I say,
Speaker 2: am I getting closer to this feeling? Or am I
Speaker 2: getting further away from it? That's how I like to
Speaker 2: look at values. So, for example, a really boring value
Speaker 2: of mine is safety, and that comes up every scenario.
Speaker 2: Safety in relationships, safety in friendships, safety at work, just
Speaker 2: feeling safe within my nervous system. You know, less so
Speaker 2: physical risk, but more in my nervous system.
Speaker 1: Could you kind of explain how you came to understanding
Speaker 1: that safety was one of your values.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a lot of the times in life
Speaker 2: I felt unsafe, And I just want to really reiterate
Speaker 2: that when I say unsafe, I don't mean that my
Speaker 2: physical well being was put at risk or unsafe in
Speaker 2: the feeling of discomfort when you're doing something new and
Speaker 2: there's a little bit of fear around it, I just mean,
Speaker 2: like you know, an energy when you're around a certain
Speaker 2: person and your nervous system is just not settled. You
Speaker 2: just don't feel you can't relax, you don't feel safe.
Speaker 2: Something feels inconsistent about it, something doesn't feel like there's
Speaker 2: any kind of reliability in it. So that's when I
Speaker 2: realized for me, safety was a huge component of my
Speaker 2: value system. So yeah, like I said before, what it
Speaker 2: means is going, okay, if safety is your value and
Speaker 2: you want to be aligned with your values at all time,
Speaker 2: questioning in certain scenarios around certain people, whether you're in
Speaker 2: alignment with that value or out of alignment with it.
Speaker 1: And then I guess that feeling though, like something that
Speaker 1: I struggle with is my logical brain fights my logical
Speaker 1: brain fights my you know, the feeling or the intuition.
Speaker 1: So I do this all the time. I actually happened
Speaker 1: recently where intuitively, I like, I get that first response
Speaker 1: I kind of know, but my logical brain it takes
Speaker 1: over and it's like, well, logically, blah blah blah, is
Speaker 1: there anything we can do to I guess strengthen our
Speaker 1: intuition and not counteract, because obviously we need our logical brain.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess strengthen that and like learn to
Speaker 1: trust that feeling. I guess practice, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anything else, I feel like we're the same person
Speaker 2: because I can completely light my logical brain takes over
Speaker 2: everything all of the time. Like you said, intuition is
Speaker 2: a practice. It really is. And when we talk about
Speaker 2: strengthening our intuition, I think it's really important to note
Speaker 2: that every every one has the same capacity and access
Speaker 2: to their own intuition. The difference between someone with a
Speaker 2: strong intuition and someone who doesn't feel like they have
Speaker 2: a strong intuition is how often you listen to it,
Speaker 2: how often you follow it, how often you respond to it.
Speaker 2: So I think, really it is practice. It is knowing
Speaker 2: that your intuition is never wrong. So if you feel
Speaker 2: something and your logical brain is telling you something else.
Speaker 2: You can decide to go with your logical brain. That's fine,
Speaker 2: but it's accepting wherever you land and thinking, Okay, look,
Speaker 2: my intuition actually did tell me the other thing. So
Speaker 2: next time, maybe I'll try and listen to that, and
Speaker 2: you might listen to your intuition. Intuition one time, or
Speaker 2: your logical brain's going I don't know if that's a
Speaker 2: good idea, and you might get there and it might
Speaker 2: not be the situation you needed, but you will definitely
Speaker 2: have a takeaway lesson from it. So I always think
Speaker 2: practice listening to it, act on it by following your intuition,
Speaker 2: see where you end up, get curious, start those three
Speaker 2: steps of self awareness, and then reassess the next time.
Speaker 2: It's it's such an interesting thing, intuition, because I think
Speaker 2: we all feel it so differently, and I know that
Speaker 2: when I try and teach it to people, there's a
Speaker 2: real struggle because everyone's accessing it in different ways. It
Speaker 2: really is a personal thing. Only way to get familiar
Speaker 2: with yours really is to just, you know, practice again
Speaker 2: and again and again.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think also it's kind of what you said,
Speaker 1: you know this whole episode of Get Curious and Like
Speaker 1: reflect because I feel like most of the time because
Speaker 1: I get asked the question all the time too about intuition,
Speaker 1: and I feel like because we're not really you know,
Speaker 1: we're not taught to stop how you feeling, you know,
Speaker 1: to really like sit in the moment. We kind of
Speaker 1: talk that it's like it's just very fast paced. Life
Speaker 1: is just very fast paced. And so the way I
Speaker 1: find that helps me with my intuition is just literally
Speaker 1: sitting back and having some reflecting time and like you said,
Speaker 1: like getting curious and being like, hmm, that's so interesting
Speaker 1: that I got that feeling when you know, this person
Speaker 1: said this or et cetera, et cetera, and yeah, really
Speaker 1: sitting in that rather than I guess ignoring it. And
Speaker 1: I guess that's where that component of awareness is just
Speaker 1: the whole big theme of the episode.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And I think the other thing is that
Speaker 2: we always acknowledge our intuition when we had the knowing
Speaker 2: and we ignored it because we usually go, oh, told
Speaker 2: me this, and I ignored it. It's not often that
Speaker 2: we celebrate the success of our intuition. So when you
Speaker 2: do get something right, like when you intuitively know and
Speaker 2: it turns out to be the case, like really acknowledging
Speaker 2: that within yourself and saying, Okay, did I know that?
Speaker 2: What did I feel? And what were the indicators in
Speaker 2: that moment? Because I think a lot of us sort
Speaker 2: of brush past that, and I think once you again
Speaker 2: can get really curious about it, become more self aware,
Speaker 2: easier to trust it the next time.
Speaker 1: I love that so celebrating when we've trusted our intuition,
Speaker 1: even like, you know, the small little things. That's great.
Speaker 1: The last thing I really wanted to chattoo about, which
Speaker 1: I just found so interesting in the book is communication styles.
Speaker 1: So obviously, you know, you go very deep in the book,
Speaker 1: but I just thought it was so interesting that, you know,
Speaker 1: we're learning about ourselves and we're really exploring ourselves and
Speaker 1: how we you know, communicate as such a big part
Speaker 1: of that. Could you kind of explain the different communication
Speaker 1: styles and why it's important to know this?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there's so many different sort of types
Speaker 2: and styles of communication. I think our communication style can
Speaker 2: be in flux depending on what kind of mood we're in.
Speaker 2: And I'll go through the stuff communication in a minute,
Speaker 2: but our communication tie is a little bit more intrinsic
Speaker 2: to who we are, and we usually fall into either
Speaker 2: one of the four categories, or I don't know, I'm
Speaker 2: a combination of a few of them. Let me tell
Speaker 2: you what they are and you can tell me what
Speaker 2: you think. So the first one is sort of like
Speaker 2: an really analytical communicator, so they're kind of like facts
Speaker 2: and data driven. They're sort of just looking at what's
Speaker 2: laid out in front of them and using that to
Speaker 2: communicate how they're thinking or feeling or you know, whatever
Speaker 2: the next move might be. Then you've got your intuitive communicator,
Speaker 2: so that's sort of very feeling, sort of sense based.
Speaker 2: They like to look at the bigger picture. They use
Speaker 2: their imagination a lot. They're pretty good at like reading
Speaker 2: the room and like, like we were just talking about,
Speaker 2: with intuition, like sort of tapping into their inner knowing
Speaker 2: of how they need to sort of move through through
Speaker 2: whatever is they're trying to get across. Then we've got
Speaker 2: our practical communicators, which I think that I am a
Speaker 2: practical communicator. Again, very fact spased, very tangible. Everything is
Speaker 2: very sort of applicable. Yeah, so being an example or
Speaker 2: they're trying to explain something to you, they'll give it
Speaker 2: like a real world example. And then the last kind
Speaker 2: of communication type is the amiable communication type. So again
Speaker 2: they're very similar to the intuitive in that they're very
Speaker 2: feelings based. It's very sort of emotional, personal and connection driven.
Speaker 2: So if you think about like in your every day
Speaker 2: to day life, you're probably naturally be attracted to certain
Speaker 2: communication styles because they're similar to yours. But if you
Speaker 2: think about a work environment, when you're in like an
Speaker 2: office with lots of different types of communicators, it's really
Speaker 2: making allowance for the different types. So if you're an
Speaker 2: intuitive community, those analytical communicators are probably really going to
Speaker 2: piss you off because you're like, yeah, but what does
Speaker 2: it feel like? And they're sort of like really looking
Speaker 2: at the minutia of what's going on. So I think
Speaker 2: what's so great about self awareness is that, yes, we
Speaker 2: understand ourselves better, but the flip side of that is
Speaker 2: that we also understand others better. And when it comes
Speaker 2: to communication, which is usually a two way thing, two
Speaker 2: or more way thing, we can really sort of understand
Speaker 2: what that other person is trying to say to us.
Speaker 2: The styles that you were sort of referring to before,
Speaker 2: I think everyone will sort of be quite familiar with
Speaker 2: them in different respects, usually if they're coming from the
Speaker 2: other person, but they are passive aggressive, passive aggressive, and assertive,
Speaker 2: and so like the passive communicator, and I think we've
Speaker 2: all been here at one stage, is where you just
Speaker 2: sort of go along with what is saying, what everyone
Speaker 2: else is saying. You don't really sort of assert your
Speaker 2: own opinion or direction. It's just sort of being very
Speaker 2: passive in the way that you're communicating. Aggressive is the
Speaker 2: opposite of that, so like really sort of forward and
Speaker 2: driven and taking control of where the conversation is going.
Speaker 2: Passive aggressive. We've all probably had some times where we're
Speaker 2: in a passive aggressive communication, but that's when somebody is
Speaker 2: coming across as passive but in a very aggressive way,
Speaker 2: which can be very frustrating as the receiver of it.
Speaker 2: But I know that there have been times in my
Speaker 2: life where I have been passive aggressive in my communication
Speaker 2: styles and like really sort of understanding that about myself
Speaker 2: so I can change it. And the last one is
Speaker 2: that assertive style, and that's kind of where we want
Speaker 2: to end up. It's being very clear with what it
Speaker 2: is you're trying to say, being concise with the way
Speaker 2: that you're communicating being direct, but also being quite soft
Speaker 2: and gentle and understanding.
Speaker 1: And so why do you think it's important and to
Speaker 1: understand these communications styles and types.
Speaker 2: I think, Look, many of us are interacting, most of
Speaker 2: us are interacting with people in so many different capacities
Speaker 2: all of the time. So, like I said before, it's
Speaker 2: really important to understand other people when we're trying to
Speaker 2: absorb and also give out information. But it's really important
Speaker 2: to understand how you communicate within yourself because how you
Speaker 2: communicate is how you're showing up in the world. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's not just happening at work. It's not just
Speaker 2: happening you know, in conversations that you're having, you know,
Speaker 2: with people in your day to day life. But like
Speaker 2: if you think of like you were talking before with
Speaker 2: the love languages, like the intimacy of relationships, you really
Speaker 2: want to be communicating in a way that is not
Speaker 2: necessarily the same as your partner, but so that you
Speaker 2: guys can understand each other and what you feel and
Speaker 2: what you think can be adequately communicated to them and
Speaker 2: again adequately communicated back to you. So, you know, I
Speaker 2: think there are so many ways that are really easy,
Speaker 2: whether you think you're a good communicator or not, to
Speaker 2: become better at communicating. And they're things like being a
Speaker 2: good listener. Like I think a lot of the time
Speaker 2: when we're communicating, we're so kind of concentrating on getting
Speaker 2: our point across we forget to just sort of pause
Speaker 2: and listen. It's a huge part of good communication. Authenticity
Speaker 2: like really showing up as yourself within the communication process, curious,
Speaker 2: getting curious, like I've said so many times, but getting
Speaker 2: curious about what it is they're trying to communicate to
Speaker 2: you and what you're trying to communicate to them, Being
Speaker 2: clear and concise. Thinking also about like your nonverbal communication.
Speaker 2: There is so much to communication that's outside of the
Speaker 2: words you speak, Like what is your body language, what
Speaker 2: is your eye content? You know, what direction are you
Speaker 2: facing your body empathy, understanding, slowing down when you're communicating
Speaker 2: is really important, like when you were talking about with intuition,
Speaker 2: like really slowing down, thinking about what it is that
Speaker 2: you want to say before you say it, yeah, and
Speaker 2: really feeling connected to your words. And the other thing
Speaker 2: I say to you when it comes to communication is
Speaker 2: don't be afraid of silence and pauses. I think we
Speaker 2: try and fill gaps a lot, but it's okay to
Speaker 2: sit in the resonance of what has just been said.
Speaker 1: Oh that's like me to a tea is like trying
Speaker 1: to feel zion silence. It's so bad, but I like,
Speaker 1: I'm aware of it, so that that's good so I
Speaker 1: can work on it. But something that you said that
Speaker 1: just like popped out to me then was you said,
Speaker 1: how you communicate is how you show up in this world.
Speaker 1: And I think those are such beautiful words, and I think,
Speaker 1: you know, if we're getting to the crux of this,
Speaker 1: this whole episode is about, you know, exploring yourself and
Speaker 1: really getting to know yourself so you can show up
Speaker 1: in the world that feels so aligned and so your
Speaker 1: authentic self, because then from that position is you know
Speaker 1: where all the magic happens. And I think that's really
Speaker 1: you know, we can all reflect and like you said,
Speaker 1: like where am I showing up really passive? And maybe
Speaker 1: why why am I passive around this person or in
Speaker 1: this environment, and you know, exploring that and like you said,
Speaker 1: getting really curious. Something also that I love that you
Speaker 1: touched on is you know, the end goal is to
Speaker 1: be assertive, and I love that you are saying the
Speaker 1: end goal is to be assertive, because I often have
Speaker 1: been told in my life that I'm very assertive, but
Speaker 1: to me it has almost you know, they're saying it
Speaker 1: in a negative way. Oh, she's very assertive, And I
Speaker 1: just love that you're like, No, the end goal is
Speaker 1: to be assertive because if we're all very clear on
Speaker 1: who we are and what we want and what we're
Speaker 1: trying to you know, communicate, we're all going to understand
Speaker 1: each other and we're all going to, you know, feel
Speaker 1: really seen. And I feel like, not at all times
Speaker 1: I'm assertive, but I definitely, you know, try to be.
Speaker 1: And I feel like a lot of of the listeners
Speaker 1: of the r n C FEM would probably be listening
Speaker 1: and being like, Okay, I'm kind of a people pleaser,
Speaker 1: which you know we all can be. How can I
Speaker 1: get to the end goal of being assertive? Do you
Speaker 1: have any tips for that?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think the first thing, and I resonate with
Speaker 2: everything you just said, is realizing that being assertive and
Speaker 2: being aggressive are two completely different things, and I think
Speaker 2: a lot of the time they kind of get into
Speaker 2: meshed into one another, especially with women. I think that
Speaker 2: it's okay to be assertive as a man, nobody thinks
Speaker 2: there's anything wrong with that. But as a when we're
Speaker 2: being assertive, we're being difficult, where being a bitch, where
Speaker 2: being you know, all the things that we shouldn't be
Speaker 2: as a lady. So I think the first thing is
Speaker 2: recognizing that they're two completely different things. Assertiveness really is
Speaker 2: about what you said before. It's directing your energy in
Speaker 2: the way that you want it to be directed. It's
Speaker 2: having clear boundaries and also having an awareness of other
Speaker 2: people's boundaries. I think is really important as well. And
Speaker 2: one of the tools that I've found really helpful when
Speaker 2: it comes to being assertive is the use of the
Speaker 2: word no and realizing that saying no isn't an act
Speaker 2: of defiance. It's simply one of two options to a
Speaker 2: yes or no question. So I talk about in the
Speaker 2: book two ways to say no. First is a hard no,
Speaker 2: and the second is no thank you, And a hard
Speaker 2: no probably sounds than it is all A hard no
Speaker 2: is is when you don't want to do something when
Speaker 2: your answer is no. Is saying no assertively the first time,
Speaker 2: Because what we do a lot of the time is
Speaker 2: we start with a really soft note, which is like, oh,
Speaker 2: maybe I don't know, let me think about it. I'm
Speaker 2: not really sure.
Speaker 1: Go check my calendar.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's like just spart with a hard no,
Speaker 2: because otherwise it's going to be a much longer exercise.
Speaker 2: You know, that's going to get all fuzzy and weird
Speaker 2: and ugh. And the second thing is no thank you, because,
Speaker 2: like I said before, you have been offered an option
Speaker 2: of yes or no, and you're deciding to go with no.
Speaker 2: And by saying no, thank you, it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be harsh. It doesn't have to be cold, it doesn't
Speaker 2: have to be aggressive, it's just no, thank you. And
Speaker 2: I give a few examples in the book of different
Speaker 2: ways that you can actually say no without being apologetic
Speaker 2: about it, because we don't have to give an excuse,
Speaker 2: we don't have to apologize, but saying things like no,
Speaker 2: but thank you for asking, or not now maybe next time.
Speaker 2: I can't say yes at this point, but let me
Speaker 2: get back to you. Thank you for thinking of me,
Speaker 2: but I'll have to pass. Thank you for asking, but
Speaker 2: I just don't have the energetic capacity at this time.
Speaker 2: So there's lots of way to be able to assert yourself,
Speaker 2: respect your own boundaries without it coming across in a
Speaker 2: negative manner.
Speaker 1: Something I tend to do is when I'm saying I'm
Speaker 1: quite good at saying no, but I follow it up
Speaker 1: with excuses or reasons like I really have to explain myself,
Speaker 1: so I think, and I think it's like the underlying
Speaker 1: reason why I do that, to be very transparent is
Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt them fit their feelings. I
Speaker 1: want them to still, you know, like me or think
Speaker 1: I'm a good person. So you know, I say no,
Speaker 1: but because of this, and because of this, and I,
Speaker 1: you know, will really go into explaining myself. And I
Speaker 1: always think, why do I do this?
Speaker 2: Do it? Like you said, because we're all people pleasers
Speaker 2: and we want to make you feel comfortable. And of
Speaker 2: course it's not about making them feel uncomfortable or not
Speaker 2: taking their needs into consideration. But I think a lot
Speaker 2: of the time we unnecessarily have to over explain our
Speaker 2: own right to be able to say.
Speaker 1: No, our own boundaries. Yeah, geordanad this has just been
Speaker 1: such a beautiful podcast. I just could talk to you
Speaker 1: all day very much, feel like we're the same person.
Speaker 1: But I'm going to finish it our pr I just
Speaker 1: loved that conversation about communicators and you know, really learning
Speaker 1: about ourselves. I think it is so important. Obviously the
Speaker 1: audience can go and check out the book Make You Happen,
Speaker 1: and of course your other beautiful books if they haven't.
Speaker 1: But do you have any you know, last tips or
Speaker 1: anything that you want to end the episode on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you know, self awareness really is the
Speaker 2: crux of all personal development work. So whatever book you're
Speaker 2: reading about personal development or self help, it's always going
Speaker 2: to come back to self awareness. If it doesn't, it's
Speaker 2: probably not real self help because you're not putting yourself
Speaker 2: at the center of it. Right. If they're trying to
Speaker 2: sell you some finnally, they're kind of missing the point.
Speaker 2: So starting with a really acute self awareness practice, which
Speaker 2: like I said before, will shift and change as you
Speaker 2: move through life. It's a constant curiosity, but it's really
Speaker 2: setting the foundation for a really beautiful, vibrational and manifest
Speaker 2: driven life.
Speaker 1: So so important. Thank you so much Forrdana. Where can
Speaker 1: everyone find you and your beautiful books?
Speaker 2: Ah? Thank you. My website is Jordana Levine dot com.
Speaker 2: My Instagram is at Jordana Levine and they're the best
Speaker 2: places to find me. Books available everywhere, so online is amazing.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on the show. It
Speaker 1: has been such pleasure.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I always
Speaker 2: love to thank you so.
Speaker 1: Much for listening to another episode of the Rise and
Speaker 1: Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and want more, come
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