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Speaker 1: The Rise and Conquer Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of

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Speaker 1: the land which this episode is being recorded, the Yugen

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Speaker 1: Bear region. We further acknowledge country throughout Australia and their

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Speaker 1: connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect

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Speaker 1: to their elders past and present and extend that respect

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Speaker 1: to all Aboriginal and terrestrid Islander peoples today. Hello and

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Speaker 1: welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcasts. This is

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Speaker 1: the podcast for ordinary people who want to do extraordinary things.

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Speaker 1: Hello and welcome back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast.

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Speaker 1: It is Georgie's your host, and we've got our Georgie's

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Speaker 1: Line episode for you. These are fun Friday epps where

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Speaker 1: you send in your life dilemmas and I N a

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Speaker 1: tear provide you with my unqualified two cents on the situation.

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Speaker 1: Today might be one of our most chaotic episodes to date.

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Speaker 1: Somehow we end up talking about my posty Dave and

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Speaker 1: his man cations. But I guarantee you you're going to

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Speaker 1: love this episode. We are chatting can friends be someone

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Speaker 1: you have dated, how to find friends that align with you?

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Speaker 1: And is your relationship actually toxic? With any red flags? Guys,

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Speaker 1: recommendation for the week. I've got two little recommendations. So

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Speaker 1: last weekend me, mel and Cooper went on a wellness

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Speaker 1: retreat I'm gonna butcher the name Gowanda, and it was

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Speaker 1: so nice. So it wasn't really like a wellness retreat

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Speaker 1: to just like relax and be We also did that.

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Speaker 1: It was actually like a business retreat. And my recommendation is,

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Speaker 1: even though we're in the middle of the year, go

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Speaker 1: over your goals, because yes, something I think we do

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Speaker 1: is we make goals at the start of the year

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Speaker 1: and then we're like, I don't know, we kind of

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Speaker 1: forget about them or we just kind of autopilot think

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Speaker 1: they're still our goals. But rego like redo your goals act.

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Speaker 1: You know what would be great for this sitia is

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Speaker 1: our refresh ebook.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, like a media check in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so if you guys haven't downloaded our freebe ebook,

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Speaker 1: I'll put a link of the show notes. But it's

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Speaker 1: basically just to It's called you know, seven Days to

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Speaker 1: Reignite your Spark, and basically I just give you seven

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Speaker 1: exercises things to speak about, and you really go over

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Speaker 1: your goals. So definitely check in and go over that

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Speaker 1: because I had so many insights and I re established

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Speaker 1: a lot of goals and like refocused them because I

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Speaker 1: just realized I had changed so much, like from who

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Speaker 1: I was even six months ago.

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Speaker 2: Six months ago.

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Speaker 1: Seems like a lifetime. Yes, insane, So that was really helpful.

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Speaker 1: And then also another recommendation. I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: fully recommend it yet, but I've started reading Happy Days

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Speaker 1: by Gabby Bernstein. Love Gabby, love all her books. She's

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Speaker 1: definitely someone who got me into spirituality. My favorite book

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Speaker 1: from hers is definitely The Universe Has Your Back. I

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Speaker 1: feel like that's ceog. I feel like everyone's read it.

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Speaker 1: But she's just released a new book, Happy Days. I'm

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Speaker 1: only a few chapters in, but it's all about trauma

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Speaker 1: and dealing with trauma. Yeah, it's really interesting and so

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Speaker 1: I'm really enjoying that. I'm not all the way in,

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Speaker 1: but it's a good read so far. Anything like that,

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Speaker 1: I think as you know, a bit of self development.

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Speaker 1: You know, I love it all right, guys, Oh oh

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Speaker 1: my god. Last little announcement is if you haven't seen

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Speaker 1: my one million posts on Instagram, I am releasing another

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Speaker 1: collection with Pedal and Pup. It is my winter collection

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Speaker 1: with them, and everything is so cute. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: i'mum sess So obviously I did a maternity collection and also, guys,

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Speaker 1: you can tell him a bit sick, So apologies for

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Speaker 1: the nasal voice. Little ivy girl is sick and she's

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Speaker 1: got me sick. So it's been like a fun week

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Speaker 1: in our household or no sleep and you know, sick people.

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Speaker 1: But look I'm here smiling. I'm getting through and yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 1: back to Pedal and Pup. We did a winter collection

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Speaker 1: together and I'm just so bloody excited. If you haven't seen,

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Speaker 1: go to my Instagram. I have posts there and reels

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Speaker 1: and lots of fun things. It launches on the fifteenth,

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Speaker 1: so if you're listening to this in real time on

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Speaker 1: Friday the tenth, it launches next Wednesday at twelve p

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Speaker 1: My previous collection with them sold out very fast. I

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Speaker 1: think the you know, the favorite, the hero dress of

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Speaker 1: the piece sold out in seventeen minutes. So I was

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Speaker 1: gonna say, I feel like when I went on when

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Speaker 1: it went on sale, like within a day, yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was gone. Yeah, And so obviously, like we have alert

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Speaker 1: from that and we don't want people to be disappointed

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Speaker 1: and we do have a lot more stock, so hopefully

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Speaker 1: things don't sell out that far as Jesus. But again,

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Speaker 1: because this is a winter collection, if you do like

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Speaker 1: any of the pieces, I would just try and be

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Speaker 1: on there when you know it's live, just because even

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Speaker 1: if we wanted to restock, restocking takes four to six weeks,

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Speaker 1: so you're almost going to miss when you're going to

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Speaker 1: wear these pieces, if that makes sense. So I just

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Speaker 1: don't see us even restocking even if things sell out,

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Speaker 1: because there would kind of be no point because we'd

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Speaker 1: be getting into like spring anyway. So if you do

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Speaker 1: like any of the pieces, just you know, get there

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Speaker 1: when it goes. It is twelve pm, so I've made

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Speaker 1: it lunchtime, so if you are at work, just you know,

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Speaker 1: hopefully you can take your break. Then I'll be at

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Speaker 1: weg just like, hang on, George, I've just gonna go

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Speaker 1: excise me five minutes, five minutes. But yeah, I'm really

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Speaker 1: excited all the pieces. You know what I'm into comfy pieces,

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Speaker 1: and something I did think about is also pieces that

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Speaker 1: you could wear next winter, so they're not just like

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Speaker 1: trendy things that you're gonna wear once. It's like, these

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Speaker 1: are pieces that you can invest in. We picked also

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Speaker 1: very specific, like knits that are going to last and

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Speaker 1: that you can continuously wear. So I'm just obsessed. If

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Speaker 1: you want to check out the collection, go to my

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Speaker 1: Instagram page. Launch just Wednesday at lunchtime, fifteenth. I'm so

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Speaker 1: bloody excited, and I will be doing a bit of

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Speaker 1: an ig TV going through sizes. I am wearing size

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Speaker 1: M in the whole collection, except one dress, the Geneva dress,

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Speaker 1: which I actually went down to size. Love that, Love

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Speaker 1: that for my self esteem. But yes, very excited. We

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Speaker 1: actually have next Tuesday's episode, which is the fourteenth, all

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Speaker 1: about imposter syndrome, because oh my god, I had so

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Speaker 1: much imposter syndrome with this collection. I had this weird

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Speaker 1: thing that because I wasn't pregnant, no one would want

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Speaker 1: to buy it. I don't know, it was so weird,

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Speaker 1: like saying that out, lad, I know I sound stupid

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Speaker 1: to you. No, it's not even that. I'm like, that's

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Speaker 1: a limiting police. You can do things even when you're

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Speaker 1: not pregnant. Oh god, I hope. So all right, guys,

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Speaker 1: let's get into this episode. It's a funny, funny one.

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Speaker 1: I think we cried laughing, Anny, Sorry, I love that

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Speaker 1: for us. So the first question we have. I went

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Speaker 1: on a few dates with a guy who I was

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Speaker 1: really clicking with. We cooked each other dinner, watched movies,

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Speaker 1: and talked for hours. Then he sort of disappeared and

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Speaker 1: said he's not ready for a relationship. I would never

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Speaker 1: push someone to that, but I was genuinely enjoying spending

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Speaker 1: time with him. Can I pursue a friendship if I

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Speaker 1: can keep my feelings out of it?

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Speaker 2: I felt like we really clicked.

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Speaker 1: Like, Yeah, of course, you can definitely pursue a friendship

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Speaker 1: if you can keep your feelings out of it.

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Speaker 2: But I don't think that's impossible.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm kind of reading the question and it kind

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Speaker 1: of sounds like you already got feelings, You already caught

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Speaker 1: the feels. Yeah, no, Like I think you definitely can.

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Speaker 1: But it also comes down to if he's been very

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Speaker 1: upfront and gone, look, I don't have the capacity, I

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Speaker 1: don't want something. Is that almost just trying to soften

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Speaker 1: that he also probably doesn't want to spend time with you. Oh,

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Speaker 1: did you think?

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Speaker 3: I actually just thought maybe he has commitment issues? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he's just genuinely like, maybe he just got out of

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Speaker 3: a huge relationship and he likes her.

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Speaker 2: But he's not ready.

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Speaker 1: I love that he's being honest.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, at least he's being super honest, and you can

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Speaker 3: value that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think of course, like, of course you can

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Speaker 1: be friends with the opposite sex, Like, yeah, I know

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Speaker 1: you can be friends with the opposite sex that you

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Speaker 1: met by going on dates with them. Yeah, Okay, that's just.

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Speaker 3: Like because if that spark was like kind of there

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Speaker 3: at one point that you went on more than one date, Like,

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Speaker 3: I think you could probably be friends with someone that

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Speaker 3: you went on a first date with and you were

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Speaker 3: like nah.

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Speaker 1: And honestly, like this could be meeting cynical. But I

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Speaker 1: feel like if you just continue this friendship, like you'll

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Speaker 1: just end up like sleeping together, catching more feels when

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Speaker 1: he's been very obvious and gone, I don't want anything,

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Speaker 1: and then you're just gonna be like, oh, spit.

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Speaker 3: Shit yeah, and then you just get like I think

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Speaker 3: we said it in a previous Hotline episode, but you

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Speaker 3: sort of just get attached to this person and you

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Speaker 3: won't grow, like if a job comes up, or if

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Speaker 3: you someone else that you really like, and like you're

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Speaker 3: just holding onto hope, that you shouldn't be holding onto

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Speaker 3: and yeah, it's probably best to just not put yourself

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Speaker 3: in that situation in the first place.

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Speaker 1: Also, ask yourself, like do you have time to waste?

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Speaker 1: Because it's almost a bit of a time waster. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: don't you reckon, like not time waster, energy waster, Like

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Speaker 1: would you rather see what happens here? Or would you

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Speaker 1: rather wait? You do you? And then like the most

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Speaker 1: perfect person, I'm tell.

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Speaker 2: One both introverted. Do you have energy to wait?

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Speaker 1: Literally? Were like, we don't have energy for this? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god? Can you tell them? Feeling drained? Also, I

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Speaker 1: feel so bad because like I've been in a relationship

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Speaker 1: for so long a tears, like never had a relationship.

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Speaker 1: So we're like on polar opposites and these poor people

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Speaker 1: just trying to date. I think a tear you need

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Speaker 1: to go on some dates, so we have some fun

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Speaker 1: hotline episodes.

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Speaker 2: So you're going on a date.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well you need to. Let's get a tear on Tinder.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't rather die let me too, Okay anyway, so

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Speaker 1: also so inappropriate me to say that as your boss.

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Speaker 1: I take it back, don't see me. I would never.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just kind of think it's not the best idea,

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Speaker 1: but also you do you like if you want to

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Speaker 1: suss it out, But yeah.

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Speaker 3: If you because like you hear so many stories of

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Speaker 3: people who are dating and they're like, he told me

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Speaker 3: he wasn't ready and then he was ready.

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Speaker 1: Well actually, yeah, my so my bestie has been with

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Speaker 1: her partner for like six years now, and it was

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Speaker 1: very much a case of you know, it was a

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Speaker 1: one night stand. They both weren't looking for things, but

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Speaker 1: they kept seeing each other and then evolved into a

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Speaker 1: relationship and they have a beautiful relationship.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I kind of built from a friendship.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I like, yeah, but then I come from

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Speaker 1: my relationship with Tim, which also started from what DM

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Speaker 1: I that was just day one. You know, you're my soulmate.

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Speaker 2: I love you. Did you both feel that way? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: He was obsessed something that.

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Speaker 2: Could you imagine saying, have you just how I met

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Speaker 2: your mother? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I haven't finished it though, Like I never actually.

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Speaker 3: Found out, so you know how he was like first

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Speaker 3: date with Robin and he's like, I think I'm in

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Speaker 3: love with you.

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Could you imagine something saying that to you if you

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Speaker 3: didn't feel the same so awkward.

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Speaker 2: No joke though.

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Speaker 1: Tim was like that, oh that's which like amazing for me.

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Speaker 1: I would just got out of relationship though, So I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not ready. Well I thought he was

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Speaker 1: just like a fuck boy. He was a lot older

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Speaker 1: than me too, so I was really confused. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, is this how?

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Speaker 2: This what?

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Speaker 1: Anyway? That's story for another day.

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Speaker 2: Maybe give it a girl.

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Speaker 1: Watch your conclusion.

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Speaker 3: I'd say, set a time limit, like if you feel

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Speaker 3: like this could grow into something definitely. Don't want to

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Speaker 3: be the person to say it couldn't, because it can

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Speaker 3: and it does happen for a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: But give yourself a.

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Speaker 3: Limit, and don't set a boundary with yourself in the

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Speaker 3: sense that you don't turn other things down because you're

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Speaker 3: waiting on him. If it'll if it's gonna happen with him,

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Speaker 3: it'll happen. But don't don't not go on dates with

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Speaker 3: other guys. Don't think that you need.

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Speaker 2: To wait around. Also, play the field.

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Speaker 1: Ask yourself, do I need an extra friend right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Maybe this person does. Do you mean yeah?

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Speaker 2: And if you do and it's fun.

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Speaker 1: Go for a girl he might Yeah, he might be

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Speaker 1: a fun time. And then also or alternatively Okay. In conclusion,

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Speaker 1: my advice, if you want a new friend, you go

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Speaker 1: for it. If you don't, I would literally text him

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Speaker 1: and just say, all good, you know what, I'm definitely

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Speaker 1: looking for more if when you're ready, I've had to say,

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Speaker 1: if you ever feel differently and you want to explore this,

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Speaker 1: text me otherwise don't. Yeah, clear boundary, and you know what,

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Speaker 1: he'd probably respect that. If he's the kind of person

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Speaker 1: that's been that upfront with you in the first place,

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Speaker 1: it won't offend him. Yeah, points for him for being upfront.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Love Okay. Question number two, geez hotline, please help.

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Speaker 2: I love that as I was completing the seven day

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Speaker 2: Refresh ebook. Love that you did that?

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Speaker 1: I guys, seven Day Refresh ebook is still available download.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to do it like we've already.

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Speaker 2: We've done it.

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Speaker 1: We've done it, but it is still available to download.

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Speaker 1: We had so much good feedback from it. We'll put

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Speaker 1: a link in the show out.

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Speaker 3: She realized how much of a challenge it was for

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Speaker 3: her to fill in the sections about friendship. She said

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Speaker 3: she's got a few friends at the moment, but she

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Speaker 3: feels like they don't quite align with her completely, and

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Speaker 3: she's unsure if it's her the own limiting beliefs that

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Speaker 3: are stopping her from finding her group of friends, or

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Speaker 3: if she's just not looking in the right places. She's

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Speaker 3: got a few friends at the moment, but again just

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel like they align with her completely. She really

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Speaker 3: wants that aspect of her life back again, as she

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Speaker 3: hasn't had a best friend or a tribe of people

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Speaker 3: that align with her for a very long time. If

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Speaker 3: we could provide some advice or stories about how we

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Speaker 3: found our own tribes, it would be so helpful. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: I love this question because I think, again this is

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Speaker 3: a question you'd be surprised how a.

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Speaker 1: Lot of people feel the same way.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think it's hard because in high school, you're kind

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Speaker 1: of just made to be friends with certain people and

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Speaker 1: you feel really close to them.

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Speaker 2: And then after you realize they weren't your friend. You

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Speaker 2: just saw them every.

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Speaker 1: Day, yes, and you just like had to be friends

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Speaker 1: with them, And then you get into like the real world,

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Speaker 1: and it's actually quite difficult to make and maintain friendships,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're not like working with the person or

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Speaker 1: spending a lot of time. Was it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's not like a convenient theme. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so my two cents on this, I've had a

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Speaker 1: not a similar thing because I have a range of

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Speaker 1: girlfriends where, for example, my best friend is literally from

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Speaker 1: high school, so we've known each other since we're thirteen. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and she's amazing, But we've had like a unique friendship

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Speaker 1: where for instance, I went through like a huge growth

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Speaker 1: and self development journey before her, and there was definitely

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Speaker 1: a stage in our friendship where I felt like she

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Speaker 1: was not on the same page as me. But I

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Speaker 1: didn't flicker as a friend and go, oh, we're not

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Speaker 1: you know, we're not doing the same things. You can

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Speaker 1: you can fuck off. But she was always a good friend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But then what is like really unique about our friendship

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Speaker 1: is she then went through her own self development journey

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Speaker 1: and I'm looking like manifesting spirituality crystals, and now we're

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Speaker 1: on the same level and.

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Speaker 2: We have even like a stronger friendship. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So a big thing with like your current friends is

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't completely discredit them because they maybe, you know,

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Speaker 1: grow as people. I think it's about you go through seasons.

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Speaker 1: So for example, with that friendship, we just went through

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Speaker 1: season where we didn't see each other as much, and

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Speaker 1: that's okay, guys. So if you can hear, like the

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Speaker 1: NH Warehouse, we tell them to be quiet, and no one.

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Speaker 2: Listens to us. They don't care.

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Speaker 1: They literally don't care. Then they're like yell and we're.

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Speaker 2: Just like bust in the door.

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Speaker 1: While recording, you'll often hear Cooper just bust in and

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Speaker 1: tell us about his day and me until you're like,

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Speaker 1: shut up, do you want to join the conversation or not? Sorry?

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Speaker 1: So that's like a version. But in regards to actually

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Speaker 1: finding your people on the same wavelength and just where

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Speaker 1: you're at, you've got to think, like where would these

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Speaker 1: people be. So, for example, I've found a lot of

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Speaker 1: girlfriends who were either you know, women or business through

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00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 1: networking events or literally through Instagram, who I feel like

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Speaker 1: we're on the same level and then we deem each

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Speaker 1: other and then we chat and then you know we

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Speaker 1: might meet up, do you know? I mean like think

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00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:29,280
Speaker 1: where those people would be and that's like go there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's like for example, with my project, we have like

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Speaker 1: a Facebook group and I've had so many messages from

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Speaker 1: previous rounds saying that they've found their best friend in

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Speaker 1: the Facebook group because they you know, everyone does this

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Speaker 1: post at the start of the project where they say

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Speaker 1: where they're from, and they'll often do meetups meet these

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Speaker 1: group of girls and everyone's like clearly on a high vibe,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's fun. Yeah, and it's fun and

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Speaker 1: so I don't know, like stuff like that, do you agree?

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00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:56,919
Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And it's weird because when I think about it, a

349
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: lot of my friends are from high school or I've

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Speaker 1: met them randomly, like through work and unique that UNI

351
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Speaker 1: or no, I don't have any especially I don't have

352
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 1: any UNI any. I like never went to class. I

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00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,919
Speaker 1: did all my unique external Yeah, I hate it.

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Speaker 3: When I went to class, it was like I was

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Speaker 3: here any female in there and no one wanted to

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Speaker 3: talk to me.

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00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you just engineering.

358
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 2: Well.

359
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 3: But when it comes to like finding friends that ALIGNE,

360
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Speaker 3: the one thing I've noticed from the message you said

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Speaker 3: that they don't align with her fully. I can't say

362
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Speaker 3: like it depends obviously how you define it. But for me,

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00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,719
Speaker 3: when when you say aligne completely, it's like same goals

364
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:45,040
Speaker 3: in life, same timeline in life, same same everything, Like

365
00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 3: you're just going the same place. But I don't actually

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Speaker 3: think that you need people around you that have that,

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Speaker 3: because none of my friends really do, but they all

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Speaker 3: do something different for me, and my measurement stick for

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Speaker 3: friendship is if I feel refreshed after I spend time

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Speaker 3: with you, I will be your friend. If spending time

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00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,359
Speaker 3: with you drains my energy, probably not gonna.

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Speaker 1: You will not be my friend.

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Speaker 2: You didn't pass the test.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, you did not pass my friendship stick. Yeah. I

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00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: love that. Let's all use this friendship stick, all right, guys,

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00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,880
Speaker 1: So the friendship stick. If I spend time with you

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00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: and you fill up my cup, we can still be friends.

378
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 1: If I spend time with you and you drain me,

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00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,360
Speaker 1: we cannot be friends. You get the flick, You get

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00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 1: the flicks. Yeah, I love that, Attia, And I think

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00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 1: that is a huge point of just going back to

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00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 1: the actual aligned thing because that's very like similar to me.

383
00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 1: Whereas one of my best friends is completely opposite to

384
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 1: what I'm doing in life, like completely, we still have

385
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 1: the same values in regards to like life, you know,

386
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 1: just being good person value, be a decent human, be

387
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: a decent human. But other than that, like our life

388
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 1: is honestly polar opposite, and I love it because do

389
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,160
Speaker 1: you just want to like clone yourself.

390
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 2: Yourself.

391
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,159
Speaker 1: I honestly can't stand myself sometimes don't want to have

392
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: friends who are like, like, I've been so annoyed, so annoyed,

393
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: you'd be like that person's the worst.

394
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 2: Why they always messaging me?

395
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 1: They wouldn't. That person never replies because they're exactly like you. No,

396
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,440
Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one. None of my friends

397
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:46,199
Speaker 1: are like honestly, apart from that best friend, not like,

398
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: none of my friends have like businesses or you know,

399
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,399
Speaker 1: in the realm where I would say I am. And

400
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the biggest factor. But if she's

401
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: generally saying like not aligned, I'm guessing she's just not

402
00:21:59,119 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 1: vibing with them.

403
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 3: And then that's where there's an issue, and it's more

404
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 3: just about maybe distancing yourself.

405
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 1: I feel like I just said this in a previous episode,

406
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: but I think it's also the thing of, well, don't

407
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: waste your time with these people, and maybe you just

408
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 1: need some time and space to let the right people

409
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:19,719
Speaker 1: come in.

410
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just find some hobbies, and then the.

411
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 1: Right people will come there and get a hobby.

412
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,080
Speaker 3: I literally don't have a hobby. If you like more

413
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,600
Speaker 3: about putting yourself in the room with where you'd find

414
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 3: these people, if you like, maybe.

415
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: Take a few lasses studio. Yeah, sorry, I didn't, because

416
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 1: you've got to put yourself out there if you do

417
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: want to find these people, and you can. And I

418
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,560
Speaker 1: think you've got to be very optimistic and your mindset

419
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 1: is like I am attracting my tribe.

420
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, and not being nervous because I feel like making

421
00:22:58,400 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 3: friends as an adult.

422
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: Is weird, because you like, do I ask for their Instagram?

423
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 1: Do I message them asking if they want copy?

424
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 2: You don't think that. I think I get so nervous.

425
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, Oh no, I don't. That's good.

426
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: It's good. Good. I'm gonna go in my room now.

427
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

428
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: At least were different. We're so different. I love it.

429
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 1: This is why the Hotline episodes are so great, because

430
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 1: our opinions are usually so different. Then we get Cooper

431
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:34,520
Speaker 1: in here, and it's fucking really different. They're like to

432
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,480
Speaker 1: the point where but we're both like, no, that's not correct.

433
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 2: It's so different. We agree that it's wrong.

434
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,239
Speaker 1: We reject this statement. All right, all right, all right,

435
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: I think we're on to the next.

436
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, lucky.

437
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,919
Speaker 3: Last I was looking for advice on what to do

438
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 3: when your family disapproves of your relationship, not your partner,

439
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 3: but the relationship itself, but you feel like you're the happiest,

440
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 3: most confident, independent version of yourself than you have been

441
00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:11,680
Speaker 3: in years. I've been with my partner for nearly four

442
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 3: years now and we're currently in a long distance relationship.

443
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 3: My mom continues to tell me she thinks the relationship

444
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,880
Speaker 3: is unhealthy and where too dependent on each other. Any

445
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,679
Speaker 3: advice on how to handle her opinion, but also not

446
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 3: sacrifice a relationship I'm happy.

447
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: So interesting, I would love to know.

448
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: I feel like it.

449
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,719
Speaker 3: Comes down to what kind of relationship you have with

450
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 3: your mom?

451
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: Mm?

452
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,440
Speaker 2: Deep, Like is this your mom?

453
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,159
Speaker 1: Is she being overprotective?

454
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:40,280
Speaker 3: Is she being overprotective or is she actually concerned?

455
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: Yeah? Is she just being kind of like wingy, like

456
00:24:44,119 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 1: oh yeah, you know when your mom says one herself

457
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:51,000
Speaker 1: and you're like yeah, yeah, like let me live my life, yeah,

458
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: let me make my own mistakes. Or is she genuinely concerned?

459
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:56,399
Speaker 2: Yeah?

460
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,439
Speaker 1: And sorry, I'm just gonna say it to you, Like,

461
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: if she likes him and she's not concerned by him,

462
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 1: then what is.

463
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:05,399
Speaker 3: It about the relationship, Because that's the only thing that

464
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 3: makes me question it because it's not her mum saying

465
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 3: dump him. I hate him, he's a horrible human being,

466
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 3: which then you obviously question it because it's been four years.

467
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 3: But it's just her saying, I feel like you're too

468
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 3: dependent on each other.

469
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 1: Okay, so I have a really interesting story. Yeah, it's

470
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: not that it's not that interesting. I swear, I've told

471
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,680
Speaker 1: you guys before. But so we have parents that are

472
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:34,160
Speaker 1: actually so co dependent on each other. It's sickening. It's

473
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: not sickening, it's really cute. So my parents have been

474
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: together since I were sixteen, have a very beautiful relationship,

475
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,479
Speaker 1: but they actually like they do not do anything without

476
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: each other, like I'm talking about, like they will not

477
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: like Dad would not go to the shops without mum

478
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 1: like ever, and like my dad goes to fundings every

479
00:25:54,800 --> 00:26:01,120
Speaker 1: day just to get away from your mom. Are joking,

480
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: I'm joking.

481
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 2: I don't know your tears. Mom, I love you.

482
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: I apologize, so rude. That's so cute.

483
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: Your dad can't go to.

484
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,959
Speaker 1: The shop about you, like he just wouldn't want to,

485
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,160
Speaker 1: like the other day I was telling. And so yeah,

486
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: and back to the story of like when me and

487
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 1: Tim were dating, I feel like we have a very

488
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 1: I love my your own company, I love my own time,

489
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 1: and through me and Tim's relationship. For example, we used

490
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: to go on holidays with our friends. So Tim would

491
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,520
Speaker 1: go to Bali with the boys. I'd go to Bali

492
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: with the girls. Love that, and we would have like

493
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,160
Speaker 1: and especially remember I was with him since I was seventeen,

494
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: so I've got to live my life. Yeah, and we

495
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: just like we're fine, Like it's yeah, like I it's

496
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: not like I do like three months Europe trip without

497
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: him or anything, but you know, we'd have a week

498
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: and I, you know, go have fun with the girls,

499
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 1: he have fun with the boys. And I feel like

500
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 1: we have this very healthy relationship where we can spend

501
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 1: time with other people and it be okay. And my

502
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 1: parents used to think it was weird. They're like, wow,

503
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: why you're going to bully of the girls? What do

504
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: you mean so Tim's not coming? And they literally thought

505
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: it was weird and they would say that is so weird,

506
00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:18,439
Speaker 1: like that's not normal, And because I know what's normal,

507
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,880
Speaker 1: I just was like used to with thee.

508
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 2: Like so funny.

509
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: I was telling mom and dad the other day how

510
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: I was so excited to have some time to myself

511
00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,320
Speaker 1: because Tim, I can't even remember what I was doing anything.

512
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 1: I was getting like your.

513
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 2: Parents are probably like they're gonna get a divorce, no joke.

514
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 1: When we went on separate holidays, Dad was like, Dad

515
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 1: was like, is everything And I was like, yes, Dad,

516
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 1: We're just like having fun with our friends. Like it's fine,

517
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: but no joke. And then the other day I said

518
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: something about I was so excited to have some time

519
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: alone without Tim, and my parents were there and literally

520
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:00,640
Speaker 1: my dad turns to my mum and goes, he won't

521
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: leave me this weekend, will you like kind of as

522
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 1: a joke, but he was also being sick. My mom

523
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is what I have

524
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 1: to deal with, and.

525
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: Like my laugh than cute. They're obsessed with each other.

526
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: It's too much, but it's funny because like my mom

527
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: will make jokes that she is just so funny. She

528
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: doesn't want to eat breakfast early because she doesn't want

529
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: to just like I don't eat breakfast till like nine am. Yeah,

530
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,879
Speaker 1: but my dad wants to eat breakfast early and wants

531
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: to have breakfast.

532
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: With you, And no joke.

533
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: It's this consistent fight. Mom says I don't want to

534
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: eat breakfast eliot, but Dad likes to eat breaprice Ellie,

535
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 1: and he wants to have breakfast with me. It's such

536
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: a six am and he's asking me when I went

537
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: for breakfast and they're like bigger about it. And I

538
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,040
Speaker 1: say to her, well, just don't hope first, and she's like, oh, well,

539
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 1: he gets funny if I do that, And I'm like,

540
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: this is just the funniest thing ever. But like, like

541
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: it's no joke. But this is such a prime example

542
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: of like my parents think me and Tim are weird

543
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: because in their relationship. So is it just that your

544
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,320
Speaker 1: mom has experienced a different.

545
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,160
Speaker 2: A bit of an independent relationship.

546
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 1: And it's funny because our posty, how did we get

547
00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: it here?

548
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: What is your posting? So we're really close to.

549
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:47,520
Speaker 1: A h like your house And I was like, what

550
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: is crying? No? So our posty who like my parents

551
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: know too because I used to work out n H.

552
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: He has this like he's with his wife and they

553
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 1: the kids get for like forty years, and he has

554
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 1: these man cations when where he will go overseas literally

555
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 1: with his man friends for literally like three months. And

556
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 1: can you imagine what my parents think they're like, oh

557
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: my god, did you hear about Dave's man cation, and

558
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 1: like he loves his wife and they have a beautiful

559
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:40,480
Speaker 1: relationship and they think they're like it's so weird, but

560
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: like I'm just saying, like we can all have different

561
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: relationships and whatever. Suit she was fine.

562
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: I don't know how we got there.

563
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 3: I loved it, though. I think just have a chat

564
00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 3: with your mom stas friend, I know.

565
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: I I think you need to establish if she's genuinely

566
00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: concerned or if she just has as experiences in her life. Yeah,

567
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 1: And I think like if it comes down to that,

568
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: just be like, my relationship is just a bit different, yeah,

569
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: and just set that boundary. And it's like mom stopping

570
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 1: so annoying. Yeah.

571
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 3: And it sounds like you've recently gone long distance as well,

572
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 3: so maybe you're in that little phase where you're just

573
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 3: on FaceTime all the time and your mom might just

574
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 3: feel a bit neglected and it's a little bit of

575
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 3: that coming out. So it could just be going for

576
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 3: a mom and daughter date once a week or something

577
00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 3: like that. But definitely don't sacrifice the relationship if you're happy.

578
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, But also if she does have a point like

579
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 1: if you have gone long distance and you're always on FaceTime,

580
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: maybe you just seasoned to like do you yeah? Like

581
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 1: very random point there, but yeah, yeah, maybe just FaceTime

582
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: for an hour a day instead of seven Like, who

583
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 1: we to tell? I know, guys, I'm so sorry. We

584
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: don't know how we really went on a tangent. All right, guys,

585
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: I think that's enough from us. Thank you so much

586
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 1: for listening. We will be back in your ears on Tuesday.

587
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 2: Bye.

588
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of

589
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

590
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Riseinconquer

591
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, a Rise

592
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:38,480
Speaker 1: and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we

593
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: have a small team, so we do appreciate your time

594
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow

595
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be

596
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:52,360
Speaker 1: so amazing. And look, if you're feeling extra kind, a

597
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts would be great